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  • Come here a minute

    And the Rick Santorum article was printed next to the KY ad. (Ha, ha — neither of these appear in the WSJ!)

  • edgydrifter

    Are you kidding? Tiffany's probably demanded a full page facing Newt's photo. Their message is clear–are you a fat, repulsive lout who would like hummers from tarted-up shallow women? Buy this. It worked for Newt, it'll work for you.

    • bagofmice

      You need to add hydrogen peroxide into your pitch somehow.

      • elviouslyqueer

        And Botox.

      • Geminisunmars

        It's implied in the "tarted-up" portion. You can't really consider yourself properly tarted-up unless H2O2 has been used sometime in the last 2 months.

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

          So, this definition of "tarted-up"? You haz found it where?

          I'm going to regret asking this, aren't I?

          • Geminisunmars

            It's just one of those things everyone knows. Geesh. You want it in the dictionary???

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

            Maybe I just want you to tell me it's not in the UrbanDictionary.

    • BarryOPotter

      That was awesome. Edgy D. is clearly a Mad Man…

  • justkillmenow

    The headline writers don't like him much either. Lean Machine? HAHAHAHAHAHA!

    • poncho_pilot

      more like lean, mean grillin' machine, amirite?

      • hagajim

        They tried fat ass and it didn't cover enough space.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

      I'm beginning to wonder if there really ISN'T a giant conspiracy against the Republican party and its myrmidons by, I dunno, God and all his little angels, or some supersmart alien race of really nasty snarky critters.

    • SenileAgitation

      Clearly it was meant to say "Lean Cuisine in Iowa Doesn't Faze Gingrinch"

  • http://johnnyzhivago.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    Newt is way too unpredictable/insane for even the WSJ to risk. Better to just keep Obama in than risk some sort of global Jonestown disaster or nuclear war. Scenarios that involve massive civilian casualties are always bad for the stock market.

    • sbj1964

      Newt is like political Herpes for the GOP .

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

        More like a bad case of crotch rot. It's hard for anyone else to tell you have herpes without taking your pants off (and usually not even then), but you can't miss the rooting around in the underroos of a victim of crotch rot.

    • http://www.acepilots.com/wwi/can_bishop.html WABishop

      … massive American civilian casualties …"
      *fixed

  • OCcupied_Surf_Serf

    The Holiday may be unforgettable, but Newt is sure wishing we'd forget a lot about him…like his first wife, Jackie Battley (who was forced to sign the divorce papers while in the hospital undergoing surgery), was actually his high school geometry teacher….

    • hagajim

      Good thing Newt is a historian then eh?

      • Come here a minute

        History is written by the victors.

        • Barrelhse

          And the Hugos.

        • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

          His geometry teacher would say that history is written by the vectors.

  • Texan_Bulldog

    Ha ha ha ha ha…breathe…Ha ha ha ha ha.

    Maybe this is Tiffany's way of saying, 'Pay your damn bill, Newt! Those blood diamonds you're giving to your fancy 3rd piece don't come cheap."

    • http://www.acepilots.com/wwi/can_bishop.html WABishop

      Maybe the ad was directed solely at Newt. His expenditures would justify it, and they know that he'll turn to the page with his photo.

      • coron4

        FTW!

  • bagofmice

    When it comes to newt, texture is everything.

  • chicken_thief

    Does anyone like Newt?! I mean, anyone not on the receiving end of his Tiffany's largess.

    • Geminisunmars

      Even she may not care much.

    • hagajim

      Even his wife doesn't like him – thus the huge Tiffany bill.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

      I have never heard anyone defend him enthusiastically against any of the charges against him in his long and checkered career.

  • CapnFatback

    Oooh, a rebus puzzle!

    Lesse, the picture on the right is obviously a ring. Hmm . . . on the left . . . "douche"? . . . "pig"? . . . "Pillsbury tumor"? Naw, too complicated. Erm . . .

    I got it! The answer is "cockring"! What do I win?

    • Negligently_Joe

      rebus puzzle

      Isn't that the name of the head of the RNC?

      • Geminisunmars

        Oh, clever.

        • poncho_pilot

          i thought it was Mr. Mxyzptlk.

          • bagofmice

            Err?

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

            Science fiction For Oldz.

          • poncho_pilot

            Reince Priebus can also be returned to his home dimension if you trick him into saying his name backwards.

          • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

            DC Comics, you mean.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

            Do Teh Youngz even read these anymore?

          • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

            Of course they do! Don't fuck with Big Comics–75% of the movies released every year are bullshit science about dudes flying around in their underwear.

      • Rotundo_

        I thought it was Rinse Prepuce, or Rice Prevues or something. A little cheesehead fascist prick in any case.

    • Lucidamente1

      Dinner with Callista?

  • SayItWithWookies

    Silly me — I thought the expression was pearls before swine.

    • DaRooster

      Huh, One Percenters…

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

      Or was it Age before Beauty?

  • Indiepalin

    Some campaigns are unforgiveable.

  • DaRooster

    "Diamonds… that'll shut her up."

    Wish it would work on him…

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

      It would, but they'd have to be very large and you'd have to stuff them up his arse.

  • elviouslyqueer

    Who?

  • Extemporanus

    "Come on in, sweet cheeks…the water's fine."

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Wall Street Journal Layout Designers Humanity Do Does Not Care For Newt Gingrich

    Fixed.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

      And very well too, if I do say so myself, and I do.

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    When you want your corruption to last forever: Tiffany & Co.

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    Hey, look! Newt bought a full page campaign ad in the WSJ!

  • Callyson

    "Some Holidays Are Unforgettable"
    Yeah, like the time the federal government was shut down because of Newtie's temper tantrum…I still remember that one…

  • paris biltong

    Ugly. I'd take Audrey Hepburn any day.

    • mereoblivion

      Hell, some us'd take Truman Capote most days.

  • chascates

    When I worked as a staff member at the UT Daily Texan newspaper in the early '80s it was my job to place the ads. I always wanted to place the Sheik condom ad over the one for the UT Muslim Students Association but always chickened out. Blessings to the NY Times staff.

  • BlueStateLibel

    It is funny to see "lean" and Gingrich used in the same sentence, too. Those WSJ people have quite the lame sense of humor.

    • hagajim

      Astonishing since Murdoch owns them.

  • FakaktaSouth

    Coulda been an ad for a marriage counseling/chemotherapy twofer. I can't fucking BELIEVE the GOPsuckers are scraping so hard I gotta hear this much from this asshole again.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

      Hey, you're back! Where have you been? Nice to see you back, anywho.

      • FakaktaSouth

        Aw. Thank ya. Sometimes I get politically bi-polar – I either cannot get enough or cannot stand to think abt teh stoopidz. It wears me out. If I'm gonna watch people getting fucked all day, I'd rather just watch real porn (or my football team) ya know? But I saw the Frank Luntz thing where he said "I get it" should be the new rethug catchphrase and something vaguely resembling a "fuck y'all" feeling came up and I needed my snark machine again. It's like a comfy brick wall.

  • OneYieldRegular

    Didn't I tell you this was a lovely place?

  • Baconzgood

    Where's the ad for "How to leave your wife for dummies"?

    • Barrelhse

      "Just slip out the back, Jack…"

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

      "There must be fifty ways …"

  • BarackMyWorld

    You can't make this stuff up…which is sad because it means someone that terrible exists in the real world.

  • sbj1964

    Because Newt knows Diamonds are forever ! But so are Ass monkeys like him !

  • zappadoo76

    The Republican Presidential candidates are living proof of how desperately the 1% wants us to re-elect their butt-boy, Barack Obama.

  • Beowoof

    You know I don't care for that fat fuck either.

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

    Oh! Oh! Oh!

    That's gotta HURT, Newton Leroy!

  • Bonghits4Jesus

    Lean, mean, jewelry buying machine!

  • ttommyunger

    You can put Diamonds on a pig, but when you look at it; it's still a pig. I'm talking about you, Calista, and that pig-fucking husband of yours. I believe the Tiffany Ad is perfectly placed along side Newt. Most Americans would get along just fine without either of them.

    • Nesnora

      Add those fucking hideous Louis Vuitton and Coach bags to that list. Seriously, rip the fanatical brand cult away from the bag design or the boring cookie-cutter shit Tiffany comes up with, and you just have a pile of extremely ugly designs no one would buy.

      • ttommyunger

        Perzackly!

  • comrad_darkness

    Unless the ad includes a coupon for a $1 million interest free loan to buy all the baubles your third wife could want, I call coinkidink.

  • http://www.wonkette.com Pres.Libunatic

    Doughy-faced motherfucker.

  • DahBoner

    During the breeding season, adult male Newts develop nuptial pads on the toes to improve their ability to hold onto females during amplexus

    And then he takes you downtown and buys you "something nice"…