FEISTY  3:36 pm December 7, 2011

Wall Street Journal Layout Designers Do Not Care For Newt Gingrich

by Kirsten Boyd Johnson

America still has print newspapers?!
[Twitter via Copyranter]

 

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{ 80 comments }

Come here a minute December 7, 2011 at 3:42 pm

And the Rick Santorum article was printed next to the KY ad. (Ha, ha — neither of these appear in the WSJ!)

edgydrifter December 7, 2011 at 3:43 pm

Are you kidding? Tiffany's probably demanded a full page facing Newt's photo. Their message is clear–are you a fat, repulsive lout who would like hummers from tarted-up shallow women? Buy this. It worked for Newt, it'll work for you.

bagofmice December 7, 2011 at 3:49 pm

You need to add hydrogen peroxide into your pitch somehow.

elviouslyqueer December 7, 2011 at 3:57 pm

And Botox.

Geminisunmars December 7, 2011 at 3:59 pm

It's implied in the "tarted-up" portion. You can't really consider yourself properly tarted-up unless H2O2 has been used sometime in the last 2 months.

PalinzADummy December 7, 2011 at 7:35 pm

So, this definition of "tarted-up"? You haz found it where?

I'm going to regret asking this, aren't I?

Geminisunmars December 7, 2011 at 7:51 pm

It's just one of those things everyone knows. Geesh. You want it in the dictionary???

BarryOPotter December 7, 2011 at 4:02 pm

That was awesome. Edgy D. is clearly a Mad Man…

justkillmenow December 7, 2011 at 3:44 pm

The headline writers don't like him much either. Lean Machine? HAHAHAHAHAHA!

poncho_pilot December 7, 2011 at 4:20 pm

more like lean, mean grillin' machine, amirite?

hagajim December 7, 2011 at 4:32 pm

They tried fat ass and it didn't cover enough space.

PalinzADummy December 7, 2011 at 7:37 pm

I'm beginning to wonder if there really ISN'T a giant conspiracy against the Republican party and its myrmidons by, I dunno, God and all his little angels, or some supersmart alien race of really nasty snarky critters.

SenileAgitation December 8, 2011 at 9:33 am

Clearly it was meant to say "Lean Cuisine in Iowa Doesn't Faze Gingrinch"

johnnyzhivago December 7, 2011 at 3:46 pm

Newt is way too unpredictable/insane for even the WSJ to risk. Better to just keep Obama in than risk some sort of global Jonestown disaster or nuclear war. Scenarios that involve massive civilian casualties are always bad for the stock market.

sbj1964 December 7, 2011 at 5:40 pm

Newt is like political Herpes for the GOP .

PalinzADummy December 7, 2011 at 7:38 pm

More like a bad case of crotch rot. It's hard for anyone else to tell you have herpes without taking your pants off (and usually not even then), but you can't miss the rooting around in the underroos of a victim of crotch rot.

WABishop December 8, 2011 at 8:29 am

… massive American civilian casualties …"
*fixed

OCcupied_Surf_Serf December 7, 2011 at 3:47 pm

The Holiday may be unforgettable, but Newt is sure wishing we'd forget a lot about him…like his first wife, Jackie Battley (who was forced to sign the divorce papers while in the hospital undergoing surgery), was actually his high school geometry teacher….

hagajim December 7, 2011 at 4:33 pm

Good thing Newt is a historian then eh?

Come here a minute December 7, 2011 at 4:45 pm

History is written by the victors.

Barrelhse December 7, 2011 at 7:23 pm

And the Hugos.

Spurning Beer December 7, 2011 at 10:16 pm

His geometry teacher would say that history is written by the vectors.

Texan_Bulldog December 7, 2011 at 3:47 pm

Ha ha ha ha ha…breathe…Ha ha ha ha ha.

Maybe this is Tiffany's way of saying, 'Pay your damn bill, Newt! Those blood diamonds you're giving to your fancy 3rd piece don't come cheap."

WABishop December 8, 2011 at 8:31 am

Maybe the ad was directed solely at Newt. His expenditures would justify it, and they know that he'll turn to the page with his photo.

coron4 December 12, 2011 at 3:18 pm

FTW!

bagofmice December 7, 2011 at 3:47 pm

When it comes to newt, texture is everything.

chicken_thief December 7, 2011 at 3:48 pm

Does anyone like Newt?! I mean, anyone not on the receiving end of his Tiffany's largess.

Geminisunmars December 7, 2011 at 4:10 pm

Even she may not care much.

hagajim December 7, 2011 at 4:34 pm

Even his wife doesn't like him – thus the huge Tiffany bill.

PalinzADummy December 7, 2011 at 7:40 pm

I have never heard anyone defend him enthusiastically against any of the charges against him in his long and checkered career.

CapnFatback December 7, 2011 at 3:51 pm

Oooh, a rebus puzzle!

Lesse, the picture on the right is obviously a ring. Hmm . . . on the left . . . "douche"? . . . "pig"? . . . "Pillsbury tumor"? Naw, too complicated. Erm . . .

I got it! The answer is "cockring"! What do I win?

Negligently_Joe December 7, 2011 at 4:00 pm

rebus puzzle

Isn't that the name of the head of the RNC?

Geminisunmars December 7, 2011 at 4:13 pm

Oh, clever.

poncho_pilot December 7, 2011 at 4:23 pm

i thought it was Mr. Mxyzptlk.

bagofmice December 7, 2011 at 4:39 pm

Err?

Rotundo_ December 7, 2011 at 7:31 pm

I thought it was Rinse Prepuce, or Rice Prevues or something. A little cheesehead fascist prick in any case.

Lucidamente1 December 7, 2011 at 4:03 pm

Dinner with Callista?

SayItWithWookies December 7, 2011 at 3:53 pm

Silly me — I thought the expression was pearls before swine.

DaRooster December 7, 2011 at 3:58 pm

Huh, One Percenters…

PalinzADummy December 7, 2011 at 7:42 pm

Or was it Age before Beauty?

Indiepalin December 7, 2011 at 3:54 pm

Some campaigns are unforgiveable.

DaRooster December 7, 2011 at 3:59 pm

"Diamonds… that'll shut her up."

Wish it would work on him…

PalinzADummy December 7, 2011 at 7:43 pm

It would, but they'd have to be very large and you'd have to stuff them up his arse.

elviouslyqueer December 7, 2011 at 3:59 pm

Who?

Extemporanus December 7, 2011 at 4:03 pm

"Come on in, sweet cheeks…the water's fine."

Lionel[redacted]Esq December 7, 2011 at 4:04 pm

Wall Street Journal Layout Designers Humanity Do Does Not Care For Newt Gingrich

Fixed.

PalinzADummy December 7, 2011 at 7:43 pm

And very well too, if I do say so myself, and I do.

Lionel[redacted]Esq December 7, 2011 at 4:06 pm

When you want your corruption to last forever: Tiffany & Co.

actor212 December 7, 2011 at 4:09 pm

Hey, look! Newt bought a full page campaign ad in the WSJ!

Callyson December 7, 2011 at 4:10 pm

"Some Holidays Are Unforgettable"
Yeah, like the time the federal government was shut down because of Newtie's temper tantrum…I still remember that one…

paris biltong December 7, 2011 at 4:12 pm

Ugly. I'd take Audrey Hepburn any day.

mereoblivion December 7, 2011 at 4:20 pm

Hell, some us'd take Truman Capote most days.

chascates December 7, 2011 at 4:14 pm

When I worked as a staff member at the UT Daily Texan newspaper in the early '80s it was my job to place the ads. I always wanted to place the Sheik condom ad over the one for the UT Muslim Students Association but always chickened out. Blessings to the NY Times staff.

BlueStateLibel December 7, 2011 at 4:21 pm

It is funny to see "lean" and Gingrich used in the same sentence, too. Those WSJ people have quite the lame sense of humor.

hagajim December 7, 2011 at 4:35 pm

Astonishing since Murdoch owns them.

FakaktaSouth December 7, 2011 at 4:24 pm

Coulda been an ad for a marriage counseling/chemotherapy twofer. I can't fucking BELIEVE the GOPsuckers are scraping so hard I gotta hear this much from this asshole again.

PalinzADummy December 7, 2011 at 7:46 pm

Hey, you're back! Where have you been? Nice to see you back, anywho.

FakaktaSouth December 7, 2011 at 8:04 pm

Aw. Thank ya. Sometimes I get politically bi-polar – I either cannot get enough or cannot stand to think abt teh stoopidz. It wears me out. If I'm gonna watch people getting fucked all day, I'd rather just watch real porn (or my football team) ya know? But I saw the Frank Luntz thing where he said "I get it" should be the new rethug catchphrase and something vaguely resembling a "fuck y'all" feeling came up and I needed my snark machine again. It's like a comfy brick wall.

OneYieldRegular December 7, 2011 at 4:41 pm

Didn't I tell you this was a lovely place?

Baconzgood December 7, 2011 at 4:59 pm

Where's the ad for "How to leave your wife for dummies"?

Barrelhse December 7, 2011 at 7:28 pm

"Just slip out the back, Jack…"

PalinzADummy December 7, 2011 at 7:46 pm

"There must be fifty ways …"

BarackMyWorld December 7, 2011 at 5:24 pm

You can't make this stuff up…which is sad because it means someone that terrible exists in the real world.

sbj1964 December 7, 2011 at 5:38 pm

Because Newt knows Diamonds are forever ! But so are Ass monkeys like him !

zappadoo76 December 7, 2011 at 5:44 pm

The Republican Presidential candidates are living proof of how desperately the 1% wants us to re-elect their butt-boy, Barack Obama.

Beowoof December 7, 2011 at 6:05 pm

You know I don't care for that fat fuck either.

PalinzADummy December 7, 2011 at 7:34 pm

Oh! Oh! Oh!

That's gotta HURT, Newton Leroy!

Bonghits4Jesus December 7, 2011 at 8:10 pm

Lean, mean, jewelry buying machine!

ttommyunger December 7, 2011 at 8:41 pm

You can put Diamonds on a pig, but when you look at it; it's still a pig. I'm talking about you, Calista, and that pig-fucking husband of yours. I believe the Tiffany Ad is perfectly placed along side Newt. Most Americans would get along just fine without either of them.

Nesnora December 9, 2011 at 2:34 pm

Add those fucking hideous Louis Vuitton and Coach bags to that list. Seriously, rip the fanatical brand cult away from the bag design or the boring cookie-cutter shit Tiffany comes up with, and you just have a pile of extremely ugly designs no one would buy.

ttommyunger December 9, 2011 at 10:01 pm

Perzackly!

comrad_darkness December 7, 2011 at 11:15 pm

Unless the ad includes a coupon for a $1 million interest free loan to buy all the baubles your third wife could want, I call coinkidink.

Pres.Libunatic December 8, 2011 at 6:44 pm

Doughy-faced motherfucker.

DahBoner December 10, 2011 at 8:14 pm

During the breeding season, adult male Newts develop nuptial pads on the toes to improve their ability to hold onto females during amplexus

And then he takes you downtown and buys you "something nice"…

PalinzADummy December 7, 2011 at 7:41 pm

Science fiction For Oldz.

PalinzADummy December 7, 2011 at 7:56 pm

Maybe I just want you to tell me it's not in the UrbanDictionary.

poncho_pilot December 8, 2011 at 3:54 am

Reince Priebus can also be returned to his home dimension if you trick him into saying his name backwards.

Chet Kincaid December 8, 2011 at 9:18 am

DC Comics, you mean.

PalinzADummy December 8, 2011 at 12:56 pm

Do Teh Youngz even read these anymore?

Chet Kincaid December 8, 2011 at 2:03 pm

Of course they do! Don't fuck with Big Comics–75% of the movies released every year are bullshit science about dudes flying around in their underwear.

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