DAY OF INFAMY SQUARED  4:00 pm December 7, 2011

Nation Aghast As Obama Daughters Eat Asian Food on Pearl Harbor Day

by Kaia Mursi

WOULD YOU EAT COUSCOUS ON 9/11?Before “Pearl Harbor” was reduced to a three-hour reel of explosions starring overpriced wooden puppet Ben Affleck, it was a place where a bunch of American soldiers were attacked by a bunch of Japanese soldiers these seventy years ago today. A Day of Infamy, if you will. You may remember from every commemorative evening news broadcast since then that Americans generally avoid doing anything Asian-sounding on this day, to honor the fallen and to keep our wounds fresh. This year, though, you can count out those Obama daughters and their fancy-schmancy private school to have other plans. America-hating plans!

You can thank some local CBS affiliate “WUSA9″ for keeping it so VERY eyewitness-y today, allowing the right-wing blogs to suffer a complete meltdown.

BREAKING HARD:

What are President Obama’s kids eating at school on Pearl Harbor day? Japanese food, of course!

Sidwell Friends School’s website shows the menu for Wednesday December 7th, 2011, the 70th anniversary of Pearl Harbor Day, as an Asian food day.
[...]
It was the bloodiest foreign attack on U.S. soil in the modern war era, until the September 11th attacks in 2001.
Here are the options for Malia Obama and her sister, Sasha on the “Day that will live in Infamy: December 7, 2011.
Asian Mushroom Soup
Oriental Noodle Salad
Classic Spinach Salad
Teriyaki Marinated Chicken Strips
Szechuan Tofu and Veggies
Garlic Roasted Edamame
Vegetable Fried Rice
Fortune Cookies

Is the Szechuan cuisine of southwestern China native to Japan now? Eh, DETAILS. And oh, look, the kids also managed to get the Pearl Harbor Day Ceremony cancelled, too, probably as part of their training in Kenyan voodoo. [WUSA9]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 384 comments }

EatsBabyDingos December 7, 2011 at 4:04 pm

What, no Oodles of Noodles, at ten cents a pack? Raman Libel!

horsedreamer_1 December 7, 2011 at 8:01 pm

Can't top this.

bagofmice December 7, 2011 at 8:59 pm

Break it down!

DerrickWildcat December 7, 2011 at 4:04 pm

There is a new book out that has secret documents that Bush knew about the attack of Pearl Harbor all along but didn't do anything.

Nostrildamus December 7, 2011 at 4:07 pm

W was always at his best when he wasn't doing anything.

Generation[redacted] December 7, 2011 at 4:33 pm

He was reading My Pet Pokemon

Dashboard_Jesus December 7, 2011 at 11:58 pm

…not sure about Pearl Harbor but Shrub's Grandaddy was a Nazi!

How Bush's grandfather helped Hitler's rise to power http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2004/sep/25/usa.s

Come here a minute December 7, 2011 at 4:05 pm

That menu needs some good American food, like Beef Chow Mein.

Dr_Zoidberg December 7, 2011 at 4:07 pm

Or pizza!

Ayn Rand Paul Tard December 7, 2011 at 4:13 pm

Eww, vegatables!

OneDollarJuana December 7, 2011 at 4:36 pm

With lots of sriracha sauce! And fortune cookies!

EatsBabyDingos December 7, 2011 at 4:07 pm

Or Sandusky stir-fry, also known as cream of sum yung guy.

WunkRocker December 7, 2011 at 4:20 pm

Pho Santorumi

memzilla December 7, 2011 at 4:08 pm

Or Chop Suey!

ph7 December 7, 2011 at 4:10 pm

I saw our Commander n Chief with a Chinese menu in his hand
Walking through the streets of Adams Morgan in the rain
He was looking for a place called Lee Ho Fook's
Gonna get Malia a big dish of beef chow mein

Aaoooooo!
Werewolves of Kenya!

flamingpdog December 7, 2011 at 4:46 pm

I believe you meant our Commander 'n Chef.

GOPCrusher December 7, 2011 at 5:01 pm

I really miss Warren Zevon. But then, I miss Frank Zappa too.

Biff December 7, 2011 at 5:27 pm

Yep, too soon X2…

MrFizzy December 7, 2011 at 4:33 pm

General Tso was from Des Moines.

ShitFilledExistence December 7, 2011 at 4:06 pm

That's nothing. The school menu included actual veterans on Veteran's Day.

EatsBabyDingos December 7, 2011 at 4:06 pm

Needs more Ornery-mental Noodle Salad-let's get Michelle Bachmann's recipe.

PalinzADummy December 7, 2011 at 8:15 pm

Eww, instead of Cream of Sum Yung Gai, we'll get Cream of Marcus' Dusty Old Ballz.

flamingpdog December 7, 2011 at 8:47 pm

Oh, Palinz, I just ate dinner. Now I'm going to have to do it all over again.

PalinzADummy December 7, 2011 at 9:14 pm

Sorry! My bad. Was it Chinese food?

Because if it was, you'd have to do it all over again anyway, yaknow?

BarackMyWorld December 7, 2011 at 4:06 pm

Chinese, Japanese, dirty knees, look at these!

Dr_Zoidberg December 7, 2011 at 4:52 pm

Tits or gtfo.

Ruhe December 7, 2011 at 4:06 pm

"Friends" school? Let me guess. Pacifists, right? My kids will be eating a appropriately commemorative dinner of saltwater and diesel-fuel soup with a side of burnt pineapple. And that meal will be served under the dinner table so my family can imagine we're eating in the galley of the Arizona. Nobody "never forgets" harder than me.

BarackMyWorld December 7, 2011 at 4:08 pm

I think Chelsea Clinton went there, so let's slam her parents, too.

horsedreamer_1 December 7, 2011 at 8:04 pm

I was always amused that the GOP Culture Warriors came out against Eminem, considering this, from The Slim Shady LP:

Hillary Clinton tried to slap me & call me a pervert
I ripped her fucking tonsils out & fed her Sherbert

What's not to love about that, if you're Lynne Cheney or Rush Limbsugh?

chicken_thief December 7, 2011 at 4:16 pm

Do the kids take turns tapping on the table for days afterward, just to remain in the spirit of the occasion?

Dr_Zoidberg December 7, 2011 at 4:06 pm

I say, let's burn them at the stake!

hagajim December 7, 2011 at 5:13 pm

Or at the steak?

weejee December 7, 2011 at 4:06 pm

For fuck's sake. Rice wine, too, also.

Ayn Rand Paul Tard December 7, 2011 at 4:21 pm

And it cost $97 a plate, paid by our taxes!

paris biltong December 7, 2011 at 4:07 pm

Yeah, just like Merkel and Sarkozy being all mushimushi (to borrow a term from the Japanese) on Armistice Day. Peace treaties? You can stuff them. Nevah forget!

sbj1964 December 7, 2011 at 4:07 pm

Well we know why the Japanese became a world economic power house. Pearl Harbor proves they don't mind getting up early on a Sunday morning.

BarackMyWorld December 7, 2011 at 7:52 pm

Too soon!

actor212 December 7, 2011 at 4:07 pm

*whew*

They weren't served "Roast Sailor"

Callyson December 7, 2011 at 4:07 pm

Perhaps the wingnuts would be happier if the Obama girls were eating Japanese people. In honor of wartime sacrifices and everything.
Morans.

neiltheblaze December 7, 2011 at 4:07 pm

Chinese, Japanese, iceberg, Goldberg, whatever.

gurukalehuru December 7, 2011 at 4:34 pm

snap

justkillmenow December 7, 2011 at 4:08 pm

So those two plan the school menu now? Big step for little girls. Oh, and wingtards are….tards!

PalinzADummy December 7, 2011 at 8:18 pm

Isn't it obvious that Michelle and Barack Obama, who have NOTHING ELSE AT ALL to do, planned this menu themselves?

Chet Kincaid December 7, 2011 at 8:50 pm

No, this is clearly the work of the First Lady's Deputy Chief Of Staff For Winding Up The Teatards For Lulz. The Obamas have a good old time reading offended Wingnut Blog Posts in "King Of The Hill" accents around the dinner table every evening.

PalinzADummy December 7, 2011 at 9:11 pm

Hey, Chet! My copy of Flash of the Spirit arrived today. I look forward to perusing it at the surgeon's in a week!

Edited to add: I can see Bamz enjoying that, but Michelle is just too nice of a lady. I'll bet she doesn't make fun of anybody, but she can cut her eyes at them something wicked.

Chet Kincaid December 7, 2011 at 9:40 pm

Cool, enjoy the book!

Baconzgood December 7, 2011 at 4:08 pm

Soooooooooo if they ate pizza they would be supporting Mussolini?

Sue4466 December 7, 2011 at 4:14 pm

Because they are the daughters of the black President, yes.

ShitFilledExistence December 7, 2011 at 4:18 pm

Black Forest Cake = Hitler

horsedreamer_1 December 7, 2011 at 8:06 pm

Schwarzwalderkirschtorte is the shit.

PalinzADummy December 7, 2011 at 10:26 pm

My brother bakes a really good Black Forest Cake. (Yes, he's gay. Don't ask me how our parents did it. They raised FOUR LGBTQ kidz.)

Chichikovovich December 7, 2011 at 4:20 pm

If you eat pizza on this day you're supporting Mussolini, and Hitler and Pétain and Quisling….

'Cause all those guys were, like, European.

Ayn Rand Paul Tard December 7, 2011 at 4:20 pm

They would erroneously link it to something French, but you got the idea.

SorosBot December 7, 2011 at 4:28 pm

And if you eat a hamburger you're supporting Hitler!

arihaya December 7, 2011 at 4:58 pm

and if they ate Sauerkraut then they are proven as NAZIs !!!!!

ShaveTheWhales December 7, 2011 at 8:53 pm

Victory cabbage, please.

Biff December 7, 2011 at 5:37 pm

Unless it's deep-dish style, then Blago.

MrFizzy December 7, 2011 at 7:54 pm

Muslinini

meatlofer December 7, 2011 at 4:08 pm

I eat fish on the anniversary of the Titanic sinking. I'm so fucking bad!

Geminisunmars December 7, 2011 at 4:22 pm

Well I eat iceberg lettuce. I'm worser.

JackDempsey1 December 7, 2011 at 4:30 pm

Yeah? I eat Chicken ala "King of the World."

SheriffRoscoe December 7, 2011 at 4:09 pm

In similar news, hundreds of traitorous American businessmen were seen checking in for Japan-bound flights, to transact business on enemy soil.

memzilla December 7, 2011 at 4:09 pm

Jeebus H. Tap Dancing Christ on a Broad Noodle.

Szechuan Tofu and Veggies, Garlic Roasted Edamame, Vegetable Fried Rice, Fortune Cookies — are all CHINESE.

You dis-(ahem)-oriented asshats.

OneYieldRegular December 7, 2011 at 4:31 pm

Except for the fortune cookies, which are REAL AMERICAN.

PalinzADummy December 7, 2011 at 8:22 pm

Edamame is Japanese. At least the word is, and I'm not familiar with the use of steamed salted green soybeans in Chinese cuisine, although, given how much that term encompasses, I could be wrong (and if I am, for mercy's sake tell me instead of leaving me to twist here in the wind like some pompous, inaccurate ass). Also, fortune cookies are not traditional — probably invented by those clever early Chinese immigrants.

But yes, most Americans seem to be unable to tell one Asian from another. Pretty fucking insulting, but what can ya do?

anniegetyerfun December 8, 2011 at 12:11 am

In China, edamame are called mao dou (hairy beans; yeah, it's funny), and they are served approximately the same way. Boiled, with some flavor like star anise, tons of salt, and maybe some garlic. Common as a street food at night markets.

PalinzADummy December 8, 2011 at 12:17 am

Zhen-de ma? Northern Chinese street food? I've never seen or heard of in Southern Chinese cuisine, but like I said, there's plenty I don't know, so, please to educating me!

Your real name isn't Fuchsia Dunlop, by any chance, is it?

Edited to add: Hao chi ma? I'm used to all the snacky things from Southern Chinese cuisine, mostly Hakka (Khek), Teochew, Hokkien, Cantonese, Hainanese, some Szechuanese, some Shanghainese. Melon seeds of different kinds, salted peanuts, dried salted fish and shrimp and all the horrible/tasty pickled stuff. This one, ah, not so have seen the before, lor.

anniegetyerfun December 8, 2011 at 12:25 am

我不会骗你! Yes, Northern cuisine. I saw it most in Beijing, hardly at all in Urumqi. If only I had a totally awesome name, but alas. My parents were boring.

Maman December 7, 2011 at 4:10 pm

How dare those Quakers serve anything but baloney sandwiches! Elitist bastards.

SheriffRoscoe December 7, 2011 at 4:10 pm

Don't you mean oatmeal?

Geminisunmars December 7, 2011 at 4:24 pm

That had to bounce around inside my head for a while 'til I got it. Thank you.

Biff December 7, 2011 at 5:39 pm

You mean that cereal box shaped like a cylinder with a picture of Bar Bush on it?

PalinzADummy December 7, 2011 at 8:23 pm

Ever since I heard that comparison, I have lost my taste for Quaker Oats. Dammit.

Biff December 7, 2011 at 8:31 pm

It's OK, there's no fetus inside…

e_z December 7, 2011 at 4:10 pm

It's not like they ate bratwurst and Kraut, after all it was the Germans that bombed Pearl Harbor.

Indiepalin December 7, 2011 at 4:10 pm

Spam spam spam spam spam bacon spam eggs bacon and spam

starfanglednut December 7, 2011 at 7:58 pm

Wonderful spam.

Goonemeritus December 7, 2011 at 4:10 pm

Yet you never hear about Governor Perry having Spotted Dick on the 4th of July.

actor212 December 7, 2011 at 4:20 pm

He got a shot of penicillin. Cleared it right up.

MrFizzy December 7, 2011 at 4:34 pm

He has niggerhead on a stick.

mayor_quimby December 7, 2011 at 7:16 pm

That sounds delightful! What kind of dipping sauce does that come with? Enlighten me.

PalinzADummy December 7, 2011 at 8:25 pm

Ah, Mayor_Quimby, you do not want to go there. Suffice it to say that it involves boiling blood.

Negropolis December 8, 2011 at 2:05 am

Why, Purple/Grape Drink, of course.

bagofmice December 9, 2011 at 1:21 am

In bed?

PalinzADummy December 7, 2011 at 8:24 pm

That's because EVERY day is the Fourth of July, in Governor Perry's pursuit of Spotted Dick!

MLite December 7, 2011 at 4:10 pm

Yes, because every right-wing blogger knows that China (Communist and Nationalist) was allied with Japan within the great "Co-Prosperity Sphere" and intimately involved with the attack on Pearl Harbor.

PalinzADummy December 7, 2011 at 8:28 pm

Are you serious? The RWNJ morons actually think that Dai Toa Senso was something the Chinese wanted?

Sweet Suffering Christ on a stick. With bells on and a hat.

At what point does their joint and collective stupidity extinguish the rest of the sentience in the universe?

MLite December 8, 2011 at 10:29 am

I was being sarcastic, but that doesn't mean it isn't true ;). You can see their "logic": "We don't like Commie China, Japan was evil and hated our freedom, therefore they were allies (and also, too, Al-Qaeda, Saddam Hussein, North Korea, Iran, and THE ILLEGALS…orchestrated of course by the Librul Atheist Muslins and their Kenyan overlord BARACK HUSSEIN NOBAMA). I mean, when have facts or changing time lines ever gotten in the way of their theories? It's all the same Axis of Evil who want to kill Jesus (i.e. The Jews). But we can't say Glenn Beck didn't warn us!"

PalinzADummy December 8, 2011 at 1:14 pm

Right, right. I don't interact with these people regularly, and my periodic forays into their swamps always see me running desperately away screaming. Cognitive dissonance overload. Sheesh.

schvitzatura December 8, 2011 at 2:50 am

With the help of Japan, China, and Manchukuo, the world can be in peace…

SorosBot December 7, 2011 at 4:10 pm

So they mixed up Chinese and Japanese food ; it's not like the Chinese had already been fighting the Japanese for almost a decade before Pearl Harbor, it's the same thing.

memzilla December 7, 2011 at 4:33 pm

In Man-chuo-chuo-chuo-ki-stan-i-stan.

PalinzADummy December 7, 2011 at 8:37 pm

A DECADE? The Japanese began attacking China in one manner or another around 1905, shortly after the Russo-Japanese war ended. From 1905 on, it was one military action after another until the Kwangtung Army engineered the Mukden Incident of 1931 that led to open war. Japan was only too happy to join with the Western powers after 1860 to chop up China like a watermelon: http://kalimao.blogspot.com/2008/03/world-colonia

Chillwaver December 7, 2011 at 4:11 pm

Now the real outrage would've been to find "Wiener Schnitzel" on the menu….

Ayn Rand Paul Tard December 7, 2011 at 4:18 pm

That's for Hitler's birthday.

chicken_thief December 7, 2011 at 4:31 pm

Or Anthony's?

Lionel[redacted]Esq December 7, 2011 at 5:00 pm

Schnitzel Libel!

mayor_quimby December 7, 2011 at 7:18 pm

That place had excellent hot dogs when I was a kid. Although I had the tastebuds of a 10 year old.

PalinzADummy December 7, 2011 at 8:38 pm

Yes, it's simply awful the way they treat those poor little Wiener doggies.

SexySmurf December 7, 2011 at 4:11 pm

In honor of Pearl Harbor Day, I refrained from buying my usual pair of used schoolgirl panties from a vending machine.

Chichikovovich December 7, 2011 at 4:21 pm

And you held off for one day from the tentacle porn?

Lionel[redacted]Esq December 7, 2011 at 4:27 pm

I ordered Japanese porn today, just to remind us of who won the war and who's culture reigns supreme.

chascates December 7, 2011 at 4:11 pm

What? In Texas most schools still have 'Bash the Jap' ceremonies on December 7th!

Also. Remember the Maine. And the Alamo.

WunkRocker December 7, 2011 at 4:24 pm

and the place you left your car keys.

Geminisunmars December 7, 2011 at 4:26 pm

What do you eat to commemorate the Maine. And the Alamo. And what are their holidays?

chascates December 7, 2011 at 4:28 pm

On Maine Day lobsters would be best, probably celebrated on a cold payday. Alamo Day calls for cheap Tex-Mex enchiladas celebrated every time I'm near a good cocina.

Biff December 7, 2011 at 5:43 pm

Lobstah for the one, armadillo for the other.

PalinzADummy December 7, 2011 at 8:40 pm

Armadillos can give you leprosy.

Speaker One: How was that armadillo?
Speaker Two: Great! Just great.
Speaker One: You can take your hand out of the plate now.
Speaker Two: OMG! OMFG! MY HAAAAND! It fell off! AAAAAIIIIIEEEEE!!!

gurukalehuru December 7, 2011 at 4:45 pm

The thing about the Maine is, with modern technology and all, divers have gone done there and forensicalized it and everything, and it really was just a boiler that exploded, which happened all the time on those old boats.
We should give Cuba and the Philippines back to Spain.

ShaveTheWhales December 7, 2011 at 10:11 pm

And the Titanides.

jrients December 7, 2011 at 4:12 pm

Remember the Alamo. Never eat tacos on whatever day that was.

imissopus December 7, 2011 at 4:12 pm

I for one welcome our new Asian overlords.

PalinzADummy December 7, 2011 at 8:41 pm

Bit late, they already own the block.

Mumbletypeg December 7, 2011 at 4:12 pm

As a kid I'd have taken the Sidwell diet over my public school regimen of canned potatoes, swamp gravy and pink applesauce any day.

Then again maybe not — I was a picky eater, but I outgrew it. And as someone on another thread here has conjectured recently: what of the adults we come across who have yet to try dining at an Asian restaurant or ordering Chinese takeout? I have one co-worker in her late 50s who says the only thing "oriental" she's ever had comes in a Stouffer's heat-&-eat.

OurHoboSenator December 7, 2011 at 7:15 pm

Back in the late 90s when I frequently drove Hwy. 401 east of Toronto, I used to tune in this insane right wing Xtian radio station from Rochester, NY (sample commentary: "People think England is our ally. But did you know they had TWO wars against us?").

They used to run this ad for some no-doubt horrible Chinese buffet where a woman with a thick Western NY accent would ask "Have you always wanted to try Oriental food but were afraid?"

PalinzADummy December 7, 2011 at 8:46 pm

Afraid! This from people who think PEPPER is a fucking spice to be used sparingly!

WTF are they so "afraid" of? It's food, fer chrisake, it's not like it's gonna jump up off the plate and eat PEOPLE.

banana_bread December 8, 2011 at 12:54 am

I don't know about that. I've been to some pretty iffy Chinese buffets.

mayor_quimby December 7, 2011 at 7:31 pm

I feel your pain, having refused to eat with my coworkers more than once because their ideas were 'you wanna order Domino's subs online' and 'We have a coupon for Olive Garden'
I had Domino's in college, but goddammit, I will go to my grave without setting foot in that fauxtalian shithole. Once even told my best friend and his wife that I would just go home and cook when they suggested it one evening.
That is a good damn menu, though. I've been inside Sidwell, and it was nicer than my uppity private college, Michelle O should accept no less.

PalinzADummy December 7, 2011 at 8:44 pm

I've finally converted some of the eejits in my end of the swamp and taught them what good fresh REAL Asian food IS. None of this "cumin-scented" shit and "Thai-inspired" crap. La Casa de Los Gatos prides itself on making everything from scratch in a WIDE variety of cuisines. From Adobo to Tom Ka Gai to Babi Kecap to Arroz Caldo, this establishment serves it all.

Geezus, Stouffer's heat-&-eat. Wouldn't I like to fetch her a solid clip across the ear.

elviouslyqueer December 7, 2011 at 4:13 pm

Congratulations, WUSA9, for finally uncovering the fatal chink in Obama's armor.

chicken_thief December 7, 2011 at 4:20 pm

I believe they prefer "slopes" to "chinks". But I could be wrong….

flamingpdog December 7, 2011 at 4:36 pm

Time to nip this racism in the bud.

SheriffRoscoe December 7, 2011 at 4:38 pm

Now his presidency will be mired in guck. (Rhymes with gook.)

Geminisunmars December 7, 2011 at 4:38 pm

You so bad.

Steverino247 December 7, 2011 at 5:47 pm

We aren't talking about the people who buill the railroads here. These guys peed on my carpet, man!

PalinzADummy December 7, 2011 at 8:48 pm

No, man, that's Baconzgood's dog.

mayor_quimby December 7, 2011 at 7:31 pm

Brilliant!!!

PalinzADummy December 7, 2011 at 8:47 pm

I think I see what you did there, eq.

CZL December 7, 2011 at 4:14 pm

Unless you eat apple pie, anusburgers and pork byproduct dogs for every meal, Jesus cries.

CommieLibunatic December 7, 2011 at 4:14 pm

Someone ate something vaguely Asian today?

D̅ͥ̽͏̺o͔̫̮̻͕̿ͪ̊ͭ̾̍ͅn̠̳̫̼̱͚ͨ̊͐ͩ'͔͎͓͖̑̑̅̽t̎̓̔
̶̠̣͙̪͚̔
̮̫̝̱̝̗ͫͭͦ͂̐̌C͓̹͓͎̗̥̑̈̔͑͜a̴̲̺̳ͫr͇̠̩̜̙̘e̦̯̙̥͐̈͗ͧ͠

ShitFilledExistence December 7, 2011 at 4:27 pm

Is that how it came out?

CommieLibunatic December 7, 2011 at 4:45 pm

You mean the sound of my soul blackening in rage and contempt? Yeah.

PalinzADummy December 7, 2011 at 8:49 pm

That was … (sighs) … just beautiful.

ph7 December 7, 2011 at 4:16 pm

In Mali and Sasha's defense, they did request their Japanese meals be completely microwaved.

Chichikovovich December 7, 2011 at 4:23 pm

It's nice to know that someone will be in a worse circle of hell even than me come the afterlife. That was inspired.

chicken_thief December 7, 2011 at 4:29 pm

Commonly referred to as "eight-six-forty-fiving it". Or they can request it "Okinawan style" where you have to fight for the food for 82 days.

bagofmice December 7, 2011 at 9:18 pm

Hey, we nuked them (Hiroshima, Nagasaki) so hard they learned how to nuke themselves(Fukushima). This earns my whiny north American ass in December a spot in hell, no?

anniegetyerfun December 8, 2011 at 12:14 am

Too soon.

Ayn Rand Paul Tard December 7, 2011 at 4:17 pm

We can add 'Oriental'* to Obama's many, and conflicting, shortcomings.

*The word which to me is as pejorative as the n-word, but hey, it's in the food's name!

PalinzADummy December 7, 2011 at 8:50 pm

I find it offensive. But I'm not sure why. Clearly, I need to read more.

ShaveTheWhales December 7, 2011 at 10:20 pm

Probably the vague Greenwich-centrism and the generic clumping together of a third of the world's population.

PalinzADummy December 7, 2011 at 10:33 pm

Good point. The more I read about the history of those parts, the more amazed I am at the diversity of cultures and languages. It's insulting to lump them all together because their skin is similarly-coloured or their eyes have epicantic folds.

eaglewon December 8, 2011 at 12:15 am

no it's not, my girlfriend is Asian, she has no problem with it. I've discussed it with some of our other friends, they're all ok with "oriental". Of course people don't use it as much as they used to, but it's not a bad word or demeaning in any way.

mereoblivion December 7, 2011 at 4:17 pm

It's not like we ever got back at those bastards for Pearl Harbor!

WunkRocker December 7, 2011 at 4:25 pm

And now they taunt us with the Fukushima death ray.

Steverino247 December 7, 2011 at 5:46 pm

Yeah, I'd say Hiroshima and Nagasaki evened up the score a bit…

bagofmice December 7, 2011 at 9:20 pm

Yeah, but bringing a nuke to a knife fight has certain logistical challenges.

ShaveTheWhales December 7, 2011 at 10:21 pm

You call that a surprise attack, mate? THIS is a surprise attack.

poncho_pilot December 7, 2011 at 4:18 pm

so does that mean the Sailor Moon cosplay Republican debate for tonight is off?

Baconzgood December 7, 2011 at 4:18 pm

Can you help a brother out here 'cause I haz the confuzed K?

How does the menu that the school that his daughters attend reflect the white house? Seriously do those people at the New Republic think that the POTUS orders the lunch ladies what to slop on the tray?

ShitFilledExistence December 7, 2011 at 4:27 pm

Of course he does–he's Hitler!

Chichikovovich December 7, 2011 at 4:52 pm

It's all part of the plan. The tried and tested blueprint. Lots of people know that the Gleichschaltung ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gleichschaltung ) that resulted in every institution in Germany being under the total control of the Führer was instituted gradually, so that it would be harder to resist. But not so many people know that the first institution to be brought into line was a private school lunchroom in Lübeck.

Biff December 7, 2011 at 5:48 pm

Just for today, he's Hirohito.

horsedreamer_1 December 7, 2011 at 8:08 pm

So, Obama is God…

PalinzADummy December 7, 2011 at 8:52 pm

They've been calling him "The Messiah," "The Anointed One," "That One," and the like since 2007.

ShaveTheWhales December 7, 2011 at 10:23 pm

Or, apparently, Tebow.

SayItWithWookies December 7, 2011 at 4:33 pm

You know those Asians and Kenyans and Quakers — they all stick together.

RavenRant December 7, 2011 at 7:43 pm

Don't forget the Mau Mau Anti-Colonial Muslim Antichrists!

elviouslyqueer December 7, 2011 at 4:37 pm

Of course not. Because if POTUS were doing the ordering, then the lunch ladies would serve nothing but watermelon, fried chicken, chitlins, and cornbread. Oh, and mac and cheese.

mayor_quimby December 7, 2011 at 7:41 pm

Do NOT forget the GOT-damned mac and cheese! No quicker way to start gunplay at the cookout. That's what was behind all the violence in Boyz N Tha Hood, if I recall.

jus_wonderin December 7, 2011 at 4:44 pm

Baconz, you are thinking too rationally here. Try to think more batshit crazy.

Baconzgood December 7, 2011 at 4:53 pm

Ok. Off to theblaze.com then.

kissawookiee December 7, 2011 at 5:01 pm

I have it on good authority from Rushbo that Obama's uppity wife is trying to tell everyone else on this planet and possibly others what to eat, so why should she stop at the schoolhouse doors?

GOPCrusher December 7, 2011 at 5:08 pm

I blame it on The Muppets Movie

Lionel[redacted]Esq December 7, 2011 at 8:30 pm

What part of an over-reaching big government liberal do you not understand?

hagajim December 7, 2011 at 4:19 pm

Nothing like throwing a blanket over entire races of people because you are too stupid to realize it. Gotta love American Exceptionalism.

emmelemm December 7, 2011 at 4:34 pm

A small-pox laden blanket.

OneYieldRegular December 7, 2011 at 4:34 pm

And on the very same day, Rick Santorum says the "Arab Spring" should have started in (non-Arab) Iran. Coincidence…or just the usual cone of idiocy?

SorosBot December 7, 2011 at 4:39 pm

And um, I guess he forgot that it kind of did, but then Iran started killing all the protesters.

PalinzADummy December 7, 2011 at 8:55 pm

Exactly. Do these people just forget each thing that happens immediately afterwards, or are they just wandering around in a cloud of permanent stupid, where nothing seems real?

ShaveTheWhales December 7, 2011 at 10:24 pm

Um, yes?

hagajim December 7, 2011 at 5:12 pm

And the Irans and Iraqs and the school children who don't have maps…seems like the GOP is larnin' from the Miss USA contestant who just mumbled gibberish.

PalinzADummy December 7, 2011 at 8:54 pm

Dooby-dooby-dooby
Dooby-dooby-doo

I mean, srsly. What else IS there to say to this kind of thumping idiocy?

SheriffRoscoe December 7, 2011 at 4:21 pm

Sipping green tea makes wingnuts heads explode. Why am I just learning this now?

DerrickWildcat December 7, 2011 at 4:23 pm

Andrew Johnson was impeached for improper use of a salad fork.

SorosBot December 7, 2011 at 4:24 pm

Oh god, the comments at the Post are just ridiculous (some of them I mean, others correct the idiocy). Not only is this somehow important, but the Obamas created this menu (of mostly Chinese food, once again) and ordered Sidwell Friends to run it, as an intentional slap in the face to the troops. Gah people are stupid.

And for fuck's sake, Pearl Harbor was seventy fucking years ago. I guess, out of respect for the troops, we should refuse to eat Mexican food on the anniversary of the day Mexican troops stepped into a part of Mexico that we decided to say should be ours, thus allowing the US to falsely claim the Mexicans had invaded us and launch a war to steal their land?

BaldarTFlagass December 7, 2011 at 4:29 pm

I will never ever drink a Cuba Libre on Remember the Maine Day. Or smoke a Cuban cigar.

SorosBot December 7, 2011 at 4:33 pm

And on the anniversary of the Battle of Little Big Horn, never eat a samosa or tandoori chicken!

GOPCrusher December 7, 2011 at 5:09 pm

Well, Saudi nationals flew airplanes in to the Twin Towers, so we invaded Iraq.

Biff December 7, 2011 at 6:00 pm

What, you got a problem with that?

RavenRant December 7, 2011 at 7:53 pm

Why do you hate America!?!?!

PalinzADummy December 7, 2011 at 8:56 pm

Well … yes.

Was that so hard?

chascates December 7, 2011 at 4:25 pm

From our friend Wikipedia it seems many of these are from Japan's arch foe China:
Edamame bean is a preparation of immature soybeans in the pod commonly found in Japan, China, and Hawaii.
Fried rice is a popular component of Asian cuisine, especially Chinese food.
Fortune cookies are often served as a dessert in Chinese restaurants in the United States and some other countries, but are absent in China.

I doubt Asian Mushroom Soup is called so in Asia. Worst of all Classic Spinach Salad is probably French.

TheGyrus December 7, 2011 at 4:30 pm

I doubt Asian Mushroom Soup is called so in Asia.

In Asia, the just call it "Mushroom Soup"

Lionel[redacted]Esq December 7, 2011 at 4:37 pm

Or "Campbells."

PalinzADummy December 7, 2011 at 8:59 pm

If you know anything at all about Chinese cuisine, the various soups that have mushrooms in them generally also have names along the lines of "The General's Foot Breaks The Back Of The Mounted Troops," or "Pearls Among The Jade," or "Spring Snow Overflows The Riverbanks."

Chinese cuisine is delightfully poetic (and sometimes amazingly coarse, but always entertaining) in terms of names. None of this "Duck cooked in Orange Juice" descriptive business. When they say descriptive, they MEAN descriptive.

Lionel[redacted]Esq December 7, 2011 at 4:36 pm

Edamame bean is a preparation of immature soybeans in the pod commonly found in Japan, China, and Hawaii.

So, now it all begins to make sense. I expect an extra special Glenn Beck Black Board rant on Edamame and the coming Communist revolution in the next day or two. Didn't Bill Ayers once try to blow up a cop using only Edamame and Soy Sause?

elviouslyqueer December 7, 2011 at 4:41 pm

Worst of all Classic Spinach Salad is probably French.

Not the way Americans make it, with hard boiled egg, red onion, a pound of bacon, and warm bacon dressing.

chicken_thief December 7, 2011 at 4:49 pm

Now that is American Exceptionalism at work!!!

Lionel[redacted]Esq December 7, 2011 at 4:52 pm

Which, as I remember from Alton's show and my Grandmother, is German in origin.

And now the conspiracy is compete.

PalinzADummy December 7, 2011 at 10:37 pm

Oh god I gained 20 lb and a layer of fat around my heart just from reading the recipe.

Sweet christ. 8 oz. spinach and 1 lb bacon. Why not call it "bacon-and-egg salad in grease"?

Dashboard Buddha December 7, 2011 at 5:54 pm
PalinzADummy December 7, 2011 at 9:03 pm

Love Margaret Cho!

coolhandnuke December 7, 2011 at 4:26 pm

Newt is in such a lather over Menugate that he had breakfast at Tiffany's. Just his and Callista's way of commemorating Pearl Necklace Day.

littlebigdaddy December 7, 2011 at 4:29 pm

He gave her a pearl necklace? The mind boggles.

Lionel[redacted]Esq December 7, 2011 at 4:37 pm

And sadly, my sex drive just took another hit.

Eve8Apples December 7, 2011 at 4:27 pm

The message in the fortune cookies, "Death to America!"

Lucidamente1 December 7, 2011 at 4:27 pm

You know what's next: James O'Keefe goes to Sidwell Friends posing as a caterer.

Geminisunmars December 7, 2011 at 4:29 pm

Or maybe a student. Nah, that would be to much of a stretch.

Lionel[redacted]Esq December 7, 2011 at 5:06 pm

He will probably try to serve dildos on AIDS awareness day.

horsedreamer_1 December 7, 2011 at 8:11 pm

Have you seen him? He is not allowed within 500' of a school.

PalinzADummy December 7, 2011 at 9:04 pm

Unit of measurement error: miles

Baconzgood December 7, 2011 at 4:28 pm

OH MY GOD! I just realized that I ate Libyan food for lunch!!!! FUCK THAT MAKES ME A MOOSLUM TERRIST.

Lionel[redacted]Esq December 7, 2011 at 4:39 pm

Falafel is the new Teriyaki.

PalinzADummy December 7, 2011 at 9:05 pm

I can't believe any good Muslim would serve a little porker … wait, that's NOT what you look like in real life?

Well, all right, then.

mavenmaven December 7, 2011 at 4:28 pm

Its now called "Liberty Ramen".

Baconzgood December 7, 2011 at 4:35 pm

FREEDOM SWEET & SOUR.

elviouslyqueer December 7, 2011 at 4:54 pm

Blanche! You didn't eat your din din!

PalinzADummy December 7, 2011 at 10:39 pm

I bookmarked that site. I so want to give some Fuk Chow as presents to my extended fambly.

littlebigdaddy December 7, 2011 at 4:28 pm

Hmmm…let's see…Pearl Harbor is in HAWAII….which is where Obama was planted after being born in KENYA. He went to OCCIDENTAL college, and now is forcing schoolkids to eat ORIENTAL food on PEARL HARBOR day. Connect the dots, sheeple!!!!!1111111111!!!!

MrFizzy December 7, 2011 at 4:36 pm

And most of those terms have at least six letters, and guess what else has six letters: MUSLIN, that's what, morans!

Biff December 7, 2011 at 6:04 pm

Also, Sotero!

Geminisunmars December 7, 2011 at 4:37 pm

You paint a convincing picture, daddy.

GOPCrusher December 7, 2011 at 5:12 pm

Time to start checking the mail for anthrax again.

horsedreamer_1 December 7, 2011 at 8:13 pm

Cokie Roberts will never live that sycophancy to the GOP "elitist" talking point down. Nor should she.

CR's just another case of who you know, or from whose loins you sprang, not what you know.

littlebigdaddy December 7, 2011 at 8:37 pm

Paging Chelsea Clinton!

PalinzADummy December 7, 2011 at 10:40 pm

Which, of course, left the entire West Coast of the US gasping in shock. That stupid, stupid woman.

Negropolis December 8, 2011 at 2:15 am

ROTFLMAO!

I'd never heard that one.

Eve8Apples December 7, 2011 at 4:29 pm

Many Americans eat ham on Christmas and Easter to celebrate the life of a Jew. Does that make any fuckin' sense?

anniegetyerfun December 8, 2011 at 12:18 am

We used to eat lamb at Easter. Like the lamb of God. Oh, fuck, WE ATE JESUS.

Wait, weren't we supposed to?

schvitzatura December 8, 2011 at 3:30 am

Tammuz, a Sumerian shepherd-god of the dying-and-rising deity school of deities, was killed by a wild pig…we consumeth the flesh of the offending animal, so let it be written, so let it be done.

In the name of Iesus…

Lionel[redacted]Esq December 7, 2011 at 4:32 pm

Wait, are Quakers secret Muslims or secret Shintoist? I am getting so confused.

chascates December 7, 2011 at 4:33 pm

They're non-violent; that's worst of all!

anniegetyerfun December 8, 2011 at 12:28 am

All of them, Katie?

Lionel[redacted]Esq December 7, 2011 at 4:33 pm

However, you have to give the Right Wing Pundocracy credit. After all, didn't FDR remind us "December 7th, 1941, a day that I got food poisoning from some bad tofu!"

From Freedom Fries to this, apparently all Conservative foreign policy comes down to what you eat (or, in the case of Bill O'Reilly, spread on the women you want to fuck). Which probably explains why they support Chis Christie and Newt Gingrich.

Baconzgood December 7, 2011 at 4:34 pm

I clicked to the link to the free rethuglic (I feel dirty now) and read the comments. It's like looking into Glenn Becks head.

Geminisunmars December 7, 2011 at 4:41 pm

Quick, rinse your brains with some pork rind.

Lionel[redacted]Esq December 7, 2011 at 4:41 pm

Totally empty except for a creepy little man in the corner rocking back and forth going "They are all out to get me, they are all out to get me"?

Geminisunmars December 7, 2011 at 4:35 pm

Good thing there was no sushi on that school menu.

emmelemm December 7, 2011 at 4:35 pm

"Would you eat couscous on 9/11?"

Yes.

anniegetyerfun December 8, 2011 at 12:29 am

Fuck yeah. Topped with some motherfuckin' lamb kebabs.

OneYieldRegular December 7, 2011 at 4:38 pm

What kind of creep goes onto the Sidwell Friends school web site to see what the kids are eating for lunch?

PS: the "Day that will live in Infamy" is not December 7, 2011, but December 7, 1941. Cretin.

OneDollarJuana December 7, 2011 at 4:38 pm

On the other hand, the Bush twins partied till they puked. Good times!

flamingpdog December 7, 2011 at 4:38 pm

Park Service PHAIL! Everybody knows Pearl Harbor Day is September 7!

Tundra Grifter December 7, 2011 at 4:39 pm

It could have been a lot worse. The First Daughters could have been getting bombed on kamikazes while listening to Pearl Harbor and The Explosions.

[Yes, I know this is quite similar to my 12/7/2010 post. Hey - I wrote 'em!]

Biff December 7, 2011 at 6:08 pm

Plagiarist!

anniegetyerfun December 8, 2011 at 12:30 am

Such talk just about gives me… THE VAPORS.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gEmJ-VWPDM4

Antispandex December 7, 2011 at 4:39 pm

"…it was a place where a bunch of American soldiers were attacked by a bunch of Japanese soldiers these seventy years ago today."

I know history is not very important, I mean, compared to what you might be doing on your I-Thingy, or whatever, but really? Let's just say you watched a movie or something. You didn't notice that almost all of the dead were sailors? That most of them died on one ship, in a horrific explosion? Soldiers? Really? I wish I could snark, but I am a sailor, and I stood on that monument, and I just can't think of anything funny to say.

Steverino247 December 7, 2011 at 6:33 pm

A retired Navy friend of mine reports that when asked by Japanese tourists for directions to the USS Arizona memorial, the correct answer is "It's out there in the harbor where you fuckers left it."

Thanks for your service, Sailor. It's a team sport, defending the United States from its foreign policy mistakes. (That said, I hope Army kicks Navy's ass on Saturday.)

ttommyunger December 7, 2011 at 8:27 pm

I usually think it's kind of funny when a civilian doesn't know the difference between a Soldier, Marine, Sailor, Airman, etc. Ignorance doesn't anger me; constant nitpicking and carping as in this article sort of does.

JustPixelz December 7, 2011 at 4:39 pm

That's because we ate Japan's lunch in WWII.

Dashboard Buddha December 7, 2011 at 4:41 pm

Gah…I read some of the comments…now I need to lie down for a bit.

SheriffRoscoe December 7, 2011 at 4:45 pm

I saw one that compared the preparation of food in a microwave to the dropping of the bomb on Hiroshima, and well, I didn't feel the need to read any further.

Generation[redacted] December 8, 2011 at 2:39 am

Umm… You might want to check a few posts back on teh wonkette, before you pass too harsh a judgment.

Lionel[redacted]Esq December 7, 2011 at 4:42 pm

John McCain would never eat tofu on December 7. That's all I know.

PalinzADummy December 7, 2011 at 10:43 pm

I'm willing to bet a pretty sizeable amount that John McCain would never eat tofu period, at least not if he knew what it was before he stuck it in his piehole.

SayItWithWookies December 7, 2011 at 4:44 pm

Rage about nonsense
While consumed by fire; wingnut
Braised in its own bile.

anniegetyerfun December 8, 2011 at 12:31 am

I'll take two, with a side of seaweed salad, please.

Mojopo December 7, 2011 at 4:46 pm

OT: Occupy Chicago's supply carts have been confiscated and crushed – right on LaSalle. I just got an e-mail about it from the group.

Lionel[redacted]Esq December 7, 2011 at 4:47 pm

The real scandal will break when it turns out that the meal was totally Halal.

doloras December 7, 2011 at 4:48 pm

As a New Zealander, I am always proud to eat kebabs on Anzac Day.

GOPCrusher December 7, 2011 at 5:15 pm

Nice!

elfgoldsackring December 7, 2011 at 5:54 pm

As long as they're lamb, I guess it's OK.

PalinzADummy December 7, 2011 at 10:44 pm

Oh, now, we're not going to have an Ozzie vs. Kiwi hair-pulling scrum here, are we?

schvitzatura December 8, 2011 at 3:34 am

Mehmet says "Çanakkale geçilmez"…

jus_wonderin December 7, 2011 at 4:49 pm

I had Vienna Sausages and Snyder's Mini Pretzels for lunch. What does that make me? Other than an individual who has absolutely no discrimination as to what I put in my mouth?

Actually, I did think about Asian when I was out at lunch but decided to save the cash.

PalinzADummy December 7, 2011 at 10:45 pm

What you need, young-feller-me-lad, is someone to pack your lunch, all fresh and home-cooked. You could do it yourself, I suppose, but I notice food always tastes better when someone else cooks it.

flamingpdog December 7, 2011 at 4:49 pm

Didn't Gary Hart get kicked out of the 1988 Presidential race for eating Donna Rice on Pearl Harbor Day?

Generation[redacted] December 7, 2011 at 6:47 pm

Spicy tuna sushi – a major faux pas.

ttommyunger December 7, 2011 at 8:28 pm

…and I don't blame him.

donner_froh December 7, 2011 at 4:53 pm

They should be serving moussaka and pastitsio washed down with retsina in honor of the Greek debt crisis.

GOPCrusher December 7, 2011 at 5:15 pm

Followed by shots of Ouzo!

Generation[redacted] December 7, 2011 at 4:54 pm

Conservatives are complaining about serving Chinese and American food on Pearl Harbor day? WHOSE SIDE ARE THEY ON??/?/????

BornInATrailer December 7, 2011 at 4:57 pm

So I should stop making a pitcher of Flavor Aid on November 18th? Sorry, my bad.

sbj1964 December 7, 2011 at 4:58 pm

Japanese food on pearl Harbor day, What's next ? Ham served on Easter day ! Because that is what Jesus who was a Jew would eat?

arihaya December 7, 2011 at 5:01 pm

by eating Chinese food (Szechuan Tofu and Veggies) isn't that means Obamas are honoring our steadfast WW2 Allies the Chinese under Chaing Kai Sek.

or perhaps since Chinese are not white they don't count?

GOPCrusher December 7, 2011 at 5:17 pm

CLAIRE CHENNAULT LIBEL!

Steverino247 December 7, 2011 at 6:36 pm

Ah, Generalissimo Chaing Kai-shek. About whom it was said, "He's a sonofabitch, but he's OUR sonofabitch."

PalinzADummy December 7, 2011 at 10:56 pm

Personally, I prefer General Stilwell's opinion of the Generalissimo, that dirty gangster.

PalinzADummy December 7, 2011 at 10:55 pm

I would go with #2.

Guppy December 7, 2011 at 5:02 pm

Obviously anybody who eats Japanese cuisine is a potential traitor. We'd best round them up and send them to a concentration internment camp in Arizona for the duration of the crisis.

You'd think nobody in Hawaii ever eats Asian cuisine, before during or since. STFU, haole.

GOPCrusher December 7, 2011 at 5:17 pm

I thought Spam was the official dish of Hawaii?

Guppy December 7, 2011 at 5:19 pm

A major part of it, but saying that nobody in Hawaii eats Asian is like saying nobody in Texas eats Mexican.

Generation[redacted] December 7, 2011 at 5:29 pm

Texas schools are serving tacos? While we are under an invasion of illegals? Sound the drudge siren!

user-of-owls December 7, 2011 at 7:23 pm

Did you know they sent some of the poor bastards to Arkansas?

No wonder we apologized.

PalinzADummy December 7, 2011 at 10:57 pm

Those poor sods!

PalinzADummy December 7, 2011 at 10:57 pm

I thought you would have realized that Asians are NOT Real Amerkinz(tm).

El Pinche December 7, 2011 at 5:03 pm

Hahaha..well shit, I went to Mikados and had a dragon , hot tuna roll and some warm sake. I didn't even think about it. Maybe I should a got the Anusburger with cheese and a large corn syrup.

Extemporanus December 7, 2011 at 5:05 pm

I added "…in bed!" to everyone's fortune cookies, and it made them waaay funnier.

ME FIST YOU LONG TIME!

Extemporanus December 8, 2011 at 5:23 am

…in bed.

Extemporanus December 8, 2011 at 5:52 am

…in bed!

bagofmice December 9, 2011 at 1:00 am

Is there any activity that is not better… In bed!

bagofmice December 9, 2011 at 1:03 am

You are aware of the appropriateness of talking about the family while rocking that icon, no?

bagofmice December 9, 2011 at 1:04 am

In thread!

bagofmice December 9, 2011 at 1:05 am

Always the best way to end things.

bagofmice December 9, 2011 at 1:07 am

You wish.

bagofmice December 9, 2011 at 1:08 am

It is cushiony.

bagofmice December 9, 2011 at 1:08 am

Let us pray.

bagofmice December 9, 2011 at 1:12 am

Ehh, not going to belabor the point on this one.

bagofmice December 9, 2011 at 1:14 am

Which is exactly what a vegetarian would say.

bagofmice December 9, 2011 at 1:15 am

Well, that was just mean.

bagofmice December 9, 2011 at 1:16 am

There is only one word for this. Dirty.

bagofmice December 9, 2011 at 1:21 am

I guess that answers that.

bagofmice December 9, 2011 at 1:23 am

Given the rape of Nanking, not exactly.

bagofmice December 9, 2011 at 1:24 am

Three ways CAN get complicated.

bagofmice December 9, 2011 at 1:26 am

Well, if you're going to schnitzel a wiener…

bagofmice December 9, 2011 at 1:28 am

I don't care what the ads say with their bowling balls and wine glasses, in bed you WILL feel the vending machine.

bagofmice December 9, 2011 at 1:31 am

Is the last place I want to think about Texas.

bagofmice December 9, 2011 at 1:32 am

Hater.

bagofmice December 9, 2011 at 1:35 am

Can't argue there. Yeah, you're going to have to expand each branch in this thread to get relevant context for parsing these remarks.

bagofmice December 9, 2011 at 1:37 am

Occidental. It only makes sense if you read the post at the beginning of this thread.

bagofmice December 9, 2011 at 1:42 am

That's one way to get ahead.

bagofmice December 9, 2011 at 1:43 am

Well, that was, forced.

bagofmice December 9, 2011 at 1:44 am

What's the frequency, anus?

bagofmice December 9, 2011 at 1:46 am

And here we get some occidental on occidental action.

bagofmice December 9, 2011 at 1:48 am

Posted from my play station.

bagofmice December 9, 2011 at 1:49 am

Yeah. By that point everyone has lost their costume.

bagofmice December 9, 2011 at 1:52 am

Admittedly, "slop on the tray" was a pretty popular move back in the '80s.

bagofmice December 9, 2011 at 1:53 am

That's generally where the blankets live.

bagofmice December 9, 2011 at 1:54 am

Damply.

bagofmice December 9, 2011 at 1:56 am

You gotta poke some holes to make it rain.

bagofmice December 9, 2011 at 2:01 am

Where else do you want your tuna?

bagofmice December 9, 2011 at 2:04 am

That's a lotta food for the bedroom. You might want to get a table.

bagofmice December 9, 2011 at 2:05 am

No. Just no.

bagofmice December 9, 2011 at 2:06 am

A hell of a way to go.

bagofmice December 9, 2011 at 2:08 am

Admittedly, having a white boy named "the third" catering me in bed is just downright pimpin'

bagofmice December 9, 2011 at 2:09 am

Yup.

bagofmice December 9, 2011 at 2:10 am

Nah. Ink isn't practical in bed without a squid.

bagofmice December 9, 2011 at 2:15 am

It can.

bagofmice December 9, 2011 at 2:16 am

At least it's quakin.

bagofmice December 9, 2011 at 2:19 am

If you can support Chris Christie AND Newt Gingrich, well, hats off to you. Seriously, the bed reaching the limit.

bagofmice December 9, 2011 at 2:21 am

The horror. The horror.

bagofmice December 9, 2011 at 2:22 am

Because then you're asking the lunch lady to bring the meat.

bagofmice December 9, 2011 at 2:23 am

In retrospect, it was a rather safe place to be.

bagofmice December 9, 2011 at 2:25 am

Well, sometimes it's hard to help.

bagofmice December 9, 2011 at 2:25 am

Yeah. Yeah.

bagofmice December 9, 2011 at 2:26 am

Depends on the time zone, doesn't it?

bagofmice December 9, 2011 at 2:30 am

Kinda tasty.

bagofmice December 9, 2011 at 2:31 am

Is where I lie.

bagofmice December 9, 2011 at 2:34 am

Chow down!

Aaaaand I'm spent. It's hard to compete with paste at volume.

Extemporanus December 9, 2011 at 3:44 am

Oh. My. God.

I…I just…wow…did that…I really…man…I don't even…that was…holy shit…you…I…are…can't…what were…seriously…I mean…wow. WOW.

Talk about "paste at volume" — I came, like, 50 fucking times tonight! I'm gonna go smoke a carton of cigarettes now…

Your upfists are on the dresser. Your avatard is in my stalk box. And your p-ness is forever in my wet spot.

You're the motherfuckin' bomb, B.O'M…

Extemporanus December 9, 2011 at 4:22 am

IN BED!

bagofmice December 9, 2011 at 2:36 am

As long as he pearls her harbor.

Extemporanus December 9, 2011 at 3:45 am

*cuddle*

Wonderthing December 7, 2011 at 5:06 pm

Obama flew the planes into the Pearl Harbor Trade Center himself before parachuting out over a Pennsylvania cornfield where he played Chinese checkers with illegal Messicans in the back of a Toyota. It's true. I read it on the InnerNet.

glamourdammerung December 7, 2011 at 5:14 pm

Seeing G. Gordon Liddy bitching about someone not being patriotic enough and getting taken credibly pretty much sums up how completely stupid the conservatives are at this point.

Steverino247 December 7, 2011 at 6:36 pm

The trick is not minding that he's a criminal sonofabitch now making a good living spouting his bullshit.

ttommyunger December 7, 2011 at 8:32 pm

G. Gordon Liddy, America's most flagrant fuck-up; next to Dubya….Tape over a lock to keep a door open, briefcase with WH phone numbers left in hotel room, WH phone #s in possession of his men at the time of arrest? What an ignorant dick, can't carry out a simple black-bag burglary without bringing an Administration down. I used his whole name in the hope that he sees this on his daily "google alerts". Dipshit!

PalinzADummy December 7, 2011 at 10:59 pm

Isn't this the same genius who went bobbing for French fries on a lark?

Guppy December 7, 2011 at 5:20 pm

On this day 70 years ago, an expansionist empire attacked the world's biggest oil producer simply because they refused to play ball.

Are we done yet?

ttommyunger December 7, 2011 at 8:33 pm

You are correct, sadly, in this Country there is no prize for that.

Steverino247 December 7, 2011 at 5:44 pm

Today, the Japanese can own places they could only fly over 70 years ago. That's progress!

Mojopo December 7, 2011 at 5:45 pm

I feel so dumb. I had Nilla cookies and some coconut water, when I should have had apple pan dowdy, apparently.

elfgoldsackring December 7, 2011 at 5:53 pm

Don't eat the fugu, girls! It's a trap!

PalinzADummy December 7, 2011 at 11:02 pm

Admiral Ackbar, they have sushi chefs who specialize in removing the poison sacs now.

CheeseNPear December 7, 2011 at 5:56 pm

They should have eaten Hamburgers and Frankfurters. Nobody could possibly associate those names with any country other than the good old USA, could they? At least, not one with any WWII record worse than the Japanese, right?

bagofmice December 7, 2011 at 9:54 pm

I am a Berliner.

anniegetyerfun December 8, 2011 at 12:53 am

I love jelly donuts!

arihaya December 7, 2011 at 6:21 pm

so that means Italian food for Christmas are forbidden,, because, uhm Pontius Pilate….?

Steverino247 December 7, 2011 at 6:38 pm

Just be sure to wash your hands before nailing anything that day.

PalinzADummy December 7, 2011 at 11:03 pm

*Always* wash your hands before AND after. That's how STDs are spread.

horsedreamer_1 December 7, 2011 at 8:16 pm

No Yoga, as well.

Hagop99 December 7, 2011 at 6:25 pm

Pearl Harbor was NOT an "attack on U.S. soil". Hawaii was not part of the U.S. in 1941.
Just sayin'.

Tommmcattt December 7, 2011 at 6:33 pm

Wingnuts make me tired.

user-of-owls December 7, 2011 at 7:20 pm

They seem to be genetically engineered to endure endless bouts of self-induced hysterical stress.

That's a shame.

RadioYKWE December 7, 2011 at 6:42 pm

Isn't Phil Gramm married to a gook? Just sayin'.

glamourdammerung December 7, 2011 at 6:56 pm

McConnell's beard is Asian as well.

RavenRant December 7, 2011 at 7:49 pm

Whereas Grover Norquist's wife is a MUZLIM TERRORIST!

horsedreamer_1 December 7, 2011 at 8:18 pm

I think it's alright since they are breeding the Asian out of their line. Like Native Americans turning white when they convert to Mormony.

RadioYKWE December 7, 2011 at 6:42 pm

Yeah, we all eat shit on 9/11 day.

user-of-owls December 7, 2011 at 7:14 pm

True Story: Back in grad school I worked in the Japanese Consulate in Houston as a "speech writer." Can Owls hoot in Japanese? No, not a lick. What I did was take the feed from the Foreign Ministry in Tokyo, the same feed/words/speech that every single Japanese diplomat from Berlin to Ougadougou was giving, and transform the "English" they sent into something the East Bushy Rock Rotary Club could marginally understand.

Anyway, every December 7, they dragged out either the lowliest schmuck on the totem pole or someone who'd been very, very bad and stuck him in front of a telephone from 7am until 6pm to exclusively answer all the calls that came in regarding Pearl Harbor from the locals. So for 11 hours straight, and the phone never stopped ringing, the poor bastard listened to an endless stream of expletives punctuated by Jap, Nip and, why not, Chink. Many a Japanese Foreign Service sarariman was broken on that day.

RadioYKWE December 7, 2011 at 7:19 pm

What, no slants?

bagofmice December 7, 2011 at 9:57 pm

1940 called. They want their zeroes back.

user-of-owls December 7, 2011 at 7:19 pm

"We don't want the smoked duck to be an enoki mushroom cloud."

bagofmice December 7, 2011 at 9:58 pm

Holy shiitake!

PalinzADummy December 7, 2011 at 11:06 pm

Smoked duck with enoki mushrooms sounds deelish. Wouldn't the duck kinda overpower the 'shrooms, though?

not that Dewey December 7, 2011 at 11:17 pm

You should tempura any further comments on this topic, lest people get all bento out of shape.

anniegetyerfun December 8, 2011 at 1:01 am

So you're saying you don't wonton of questions surrounding this issue to crop up?

not that Dewey December 8, 2011 at 1:55 am

A little discretion gyoza long way.

a_pink_poodle December 7, 2011 at 7:23 pm

I can't be bothered to come up with a smart ass comment about this so I'm just going to say the original author is stupid and, believe me, I know stupid. I have a masters in stupid as well as a minor in idiocy and buffoonery.

Troglodeity December 7, 2011 at 7:27 pm

Newt Gingrich, on the other hand, patriotically refused to pay child support for his two daughters from his first marriage – so as to avoid any possibility that he might be contributing to their eating Japanese food on Pearl Harbor Day.

ttommyunger December 7, 2011 at 8:35 pm

Is there no end to the nitpicking and carping from the fringe right? I jest…..of course there isn't.

Chet Kincaid December 7, 2011 at 9:18 pm

Don't mention the war, Basil!

Chet Kincaid December 7, 2011 at 9:34 pm

Let's get all Sports Trash-Talk on this bitch: who woulda won if the Emperor had sucker-punched Hitler instead?

PalinzADummy December 7, 2011 at 10:54 pm

Two, four, six, eight
Time to transubstantiate!
So get down upon your knees
Fiddle with your rosaries
Bow your head with great respect
And genuflect, genuflect, genuflect

Comrade Wingtard December 8, 2011 at 7:09 am

Well, it's my birthday, too (sort of like "Born on the Fourth of July," but different) and I ate Thai food yesterday.

Negligently_Joe December 8, 2011 at 9:02 am

Just wait until these guys found out that roughly 1.2 million New Yorkers ate falafel or halal lamb for lunch, this past 9/11. NEVER FORGET, PEOPLE!

a_pink_poodle December 8, 2011 at 3:59 pm

Oh! I have a snarky comment now!

Ahemhemhem… "It is rather insensitive for Asia to have been built so close to Japanese ground"

bagofmice December 9, 2011 at 2:13 am

Aww yeah, the old east west east.

PalinzADummy December 7, 2011 at 10:28 pm

Biff, Biff, Biff. I shall think of you as I technicolour yawn through the night, you horrible little man.

PalinzADummy December 7, 2011 at 10:33 pm

Oh, yeah, THAT god.

PalinzADummy December 7, 2011 at 10:34 pm

Right. Never mind that question, then. On to the next.

Excelsior!

PalinzADummy December 8, 2011 at 12:38 am

Thought so. I've always wanted to go to Urumqi. Did you like it there?

I have a (in my parents' opinion) totally awesome name. No one ever remembers it, pronounces or spells it correctly, or even takes my repeated and somewhat curmudgeonly hints to quit trying already.

I wouldn't have minded being Fuchsia Dunlop, though. She's had a fascinating life and has more knowledge about Szechwanese food than the Kitchen God (灶君). But boring parents tend to ensure long and happy lives for their offspring. Children of exciting parents end up being addicted to harmful, if interesting, behaviours.

anniegetyerfun December 8, 2011 at 12:47 am

Eh, I'm still an alcoholic. I mean, my parents are boring, but Scottish and Russian. So there's that. But now I'm jealous and want to know what your name is.You know, Urumqi is a fantastic place to visit – living there is a bit tough. Like all places in China, it's easier if you're a man than if you're a woman. I had high hopes for learning Uighur and going to grad school, but they were pretty much dashed when I realized how all of Western China is still embroiled in the kind of petty corruption and dishonesty that I expect in, say, India. I mean, it's not like you won't come across that kind of thing in Beijing's universities, but I feel like it's less over there, at least for foreigners. Also, the Uighur culture is highly sexist. Having majored in Islamic Studies, I thought I was ready to deal with it, but I wasn't.That said, the food is good (everything from noodles to insanely tasty fruit to a dish called da pan ji (big plate chicken, best enjoyed in Urumqi) to greasy, spicy kebabs) and the summertime weather is great, if you like bone-drying white-hot heat. The scenery is mind-blowing, especially around the Tian Shan mountains.

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