Adults have never had much luck talking so much as a faint glimmer of sense into Michele Bachmann, so maybe someone smarter but a little closer to her own intellectual ilk can finally reach her? Eight-year-old Elijah came with his mom to an Occupy Myrtle Beach gathering at one of Bachmann’s book signings to let her know that “my mommy is gay and doesn’t need fixing.” Per the video, Bachmann doesn’t hear him at first and pulls him right up to her ear, and he repeats the message. Her dumbfounded, wide-eyed silence in reaction is not necessarily evidence that she processed this information, but at least we have that, a bit of silence from Michele Bachmann.


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  • hagajim

    Looks like the crazy can be stopped – at least for a moment. I'm sure she smoked a couple of circuits here, assuming any still work.

  • i have no snark. well done, son.

    Just get ready for the courageous hit piece coming from Fox+Friends

    • hagajim

      You can tell he's been brainwashed by those damn puppets.

    • freakishlywrong

      Malkin has probably already sent her flying monkeys to his school.

    • V572 the Merciless

      Not too crazy about launching kids at enemies as political weapons — making them picket Planned Parenthood clinics is monstrous — but this was pretty cute.

      • Not_So_Much

        Why do you hate Bristol and her immaculate re-virgining?

        • horsedreamer_1

          Or, as most people call it, "Monday".

      • Me either, but the kid was too fucking precious. I'm sure when he's all growed, he'll be proud of this moment. Too cute for words.

      • Negropolis

        That was my initial reaction, but it dawned on me that he probably came up with this, and really had something to say. Like any kid of his age, once he got up there, I think he got cold feet, so the mom had to help, but just looking at him, I think something had seriously layed on his mind and heart.

        • Now that I think of it … I remember the younger stepson listening to Reagan giving a speech on the teevee one day, and I don't remember what set him off, but DAMN, the little guy was MAD. He kept saying, "Doesn't Mr. Reagan understand? I want to grow up and grow old like him! I don't want to die." So I told him to write Mr. Reagan a letter (I think he was seven or eight years old at the time, and a really sweet kid), and he did. Printed it out in crayon. I mailed it for him.

          Kids understand much more than we give them credit for, and they feel things very deeply. I wouldn't be in the least bit surprised if that little boy had overheard his Moms talking about Bachmann and their fears about him, and wanted to tell her not to pick on his Moms.

          • Negropolis

            You speak the truth. I remember writing all kinds of letters as a small child and making lists and writing short stories.

            IT's always a fine line about what to allow your child to do, but I think you have to judge this stuff on a case-by-case basis. I think in this case, it's a little much to jump to the conclusion that the mother set the kid up, whereas, no child naturally holds up a sign that says "God Hates F@gs" like those nasty-ass Phelps clan children do. Some brainwashing it just plain obvious.

      • paris biltong

        I agree and don't even think cuteness here is a mitigating factor. Are we next going to hear a child explain that his father fucks sheep / shoots dope / watches Fox News but it's none of our business? Let them be children and leave them out of our issues.

  • Fare la Volpe

    Silly child. Marcus doesn't care about "fixing" any women.

    • Well, he's awfully busy sucking all that gay out of those poor, poor tormented gay men, you know.

  • Buh bye…. that is all she can say

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Maybe she'll make a guest star appearance on an upcoming episode of Pan Am.

      She kinda dresses like a 1965 stewardess, anyway.

    • Well, it's what the REST of us have been saying to her for years now — she's just parroting it back.

  • elviouslyqueer

    From the Slate comment board:

    While I may agree with the mother's politics, in my view what she did to her boy is child abuse.

    I actually agree. Subjecting a child to the batshit insanity that is Michele Bachmann is the textbook definition of "child abuse."

    • GhostBuggy

      Yes, let's all clutch our pearls in horror at a child being cruelly manipulated into supporting the radical, far-left ideology of loving his mom. Asshats.

      • horsedreamer_1

        Stanley Ann Dunham was history's greatest monster. Until, that is, her son came along. Now she's "merely" second worst.

    • littlebigdaddy

      Yeah teh retard could be contagious.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      I think it's pretty reasonable that kids being raised by same-sex couples should be prepared to face, politely and firmly, those who think they are an abomination before the eyes of G_d.

    • Whereever is my fainting couch?

  • WhatTheHolyHeck

    The right came out swinging with the "The lezzie mother made him do it, put her in gay jailz!" hissy fit this morning.

    I can understand why; it must be hard to learn that children can also learn to be tolerant and loving, instead of just hateful and ignorant.

    • I thought the rightwingnutjobs were all for parents having a free hand to raise their children as they see fit without interference from the nanny state? Or do they think we should round up the children they bring to Planned Parenthood protests, and throw THEIR parents in jail?

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Conservative Xtian parents should have a free hand raising and homeskooling their children about Adam and Eve and the dinosaurs. Everybody else needs to be waterboarded.

        • I have faith, Biely. I know you have a special place prepared for them. "My father's house has many mansions" indeed.

  • chicken_thief

    Looked like Shellz got a wide on, had a hot flash or both.

  • Oblios_Cap

    I hope that poor child was disinfected; we wouldn't any of Shelly's crazy germs to infect the little tyke.

  • chascates

    Seeing this young child, even if coached by his mother, gives me a little hope for our country after all.


    • Fare la Volpe

      That was what I was explaining to my friend when we watched this. This wasn't political, it was personal. She wasn't coaching him on environmental policy, or marginal tax rates on the 1%. She was helping him realize that there are bullies in this world who would just as soon take him away from his mommy as leave him with her, and who want to stop Mommy and her girlfriend from being good parents for him.

      This is a personal matter for him. No indoctrination.

      • CommieLibunatic

        Which should be a good thing, right? Isn't the Right all about personal freedoms and all that?

        • Geminisunmars

          Ohhhh, you.

        • LetUsBray

          Exactly: The personal freedom to do as they tell you.

      • Exactly. People don't realize that THIS is the fucking reality that gay people live with EVERY FUCKING DAY. Skeevy swine like Bachmann want to make sure that if the person you love and have spent twenty fucking years of your life with, nursed through sickness, supported through poverty, and loved in good health every day for all those years, that if that person gets sick, you are NOT allowed into their hospital room. You are NOT allowed to find out if they're alive or dead. You are NOT allowed to hold them during their last moments on earth. The child you birthed with blood and pain, or co-parented with love, time, effort, and money, can be taken away from you at any moment by anybody appointed by these Bachmanns. They will enter your house and tear your darling child from your loving arms and give him or her to some known child abuser or swinish brute, and break both your hearts and ruin your lives and your livelihood fighting to get that child back.

        You're damn fucking right it's personal. And it's time we taxpaying gay citizens stopped putting up with this SHIT. And we ask all our friends, gay and straight, to understand what this means and to stand by us in our fight for those rights that have ALWAYS been deemed basic to humanity. We're human too. And we want our rights. Now.

        • RadioYKWE

          Not only that, but the look on Michele, one L's, face is priceless. You got off a brilliant, as usual, rant and I just laughed at her glossed turd facade.

          • Thank you. (hugs Radio)

            This is Teh Wonketz, the one place on earth where all my weirdness is treated as if it's just part of the package, and I can be what I am. If there is one thing to be grateful for this holiday season, I am grateful for Wonkette and its component Wonketeers.

        • Fukui_sanYesOta

          Wow. That is some truly awesome ranting there and brutally true.

          These bible-thumping arseholes need to be consigned to their proper place in history: irrelevant and embarrassing.

          • Personal experience: my ex suffered a bad fall and a concussion after being put on some medication. I only found out when I called home (didn't get a reply), called the office (not in the office), and finally, called a close mutual friend who announced that he had taken the partner to the hospital. The hospital refused to give me any information or permit me to speak to my partner on the grounds that "you are not the next-of-kin." All the begging and pleading in the world did no good, and I was told that I had no right to ask for even the basic information that my partner had survived the fall and subsequent concussion. Because my partner's relatives all lived in foreign countries at the time, I was put in the absurd position of having to call my partner's mother at some ungodly hour (due to the time difference) and beg her to call the hospital and then call me back to let me know if I was still in a relationship with a living human being, or should start packing my partner's effects to send home. The worst 24 hours of my life.

          • Fukui_sanYesOta

            Good gosh, what an appalling situation to find yourself in. There really is no reason for that sort of nonsense based simply on the sex of the partner – well, unless one is utterly convinced that Free-Market Jebus doesn't like it. Even so, that's a projection of your personal (idiotic) beliefs onto people who don't share them, which is really not the whole conceptualization of how the damn country is supposed to work.

          • One good thing came out of it: I would never have believed this could have happened until it actually happened to me. It certainly taught me to be less judgmental about other people's horror stories.

            It wasn't that long ago that a lesbian couple traveling in Florida with their children experienced something worse:

          • Omg, Palinz, I'm so sorry. Where do you live?

          • Right here in the good ol' US of A, starfangled. In fact, in a progressive enclave of the People's Republic of Kali-FOHR-neeyuh, as our former Goobenator liked to say.

            Old history now, but I guess it still pisses me off something awful. If I could put the boot in all those doctors/nurses all the way up to the PrezzyDUHnt, I would.

          • Fare la Volpe

            My God, sweetie. I'm so sorry something like that happened. Was your beloved alright by the end of it?

          • Yes, fortunately. It was a hellish day and night, desperately calling around. Partner's brother and I were NOT on good terms (he was a complete homophobe who thought he was doing the family a huge favour by outing us to them), so things were pretty unfriendly there for a while. But ex's Moms is a total angel (her response to the unwanted outing was 'So? You don't have to marry them or support them, what do you care?' to the homophobe brother).

            But the fact is, as awful as it was, other LGBTQ folk have it MUCH worse. And the fight ain't over for me till they ALL have the basic human rights everyone else takes for granted.

          • vtxmcrider

            They really should be consigned to an outhouse. You know, just like the one where Jerry Falwell lost his virginity to his mother.

  • SexySmurf

    Bachmann doesn’t hear him at first and pulls him right up to her ear

    Are you sure she wasn't just trying to eat him?

  • Tommmcattt

    "…and, um, also, um, Mrs. Bachmann, Montreal is not in France."

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Sure it is.

      Even a stopped clock is right twice a day.

      • Tommmcattt

        Well whaddaya know?!??! Outsmarted by Michelle Bachmann. I'll forget which end to put food in next.

        • bagofmice

          Our dearly departed Kortney might have a few pointers.

  • BarackMyWorld

    She didn't flip out….maybe she's back on her meds?

  • Biff

    Cain would've pulled the mother's head toward his crotch…

    • Fare la Volpe

      In South Africa that's how they "fix" lesbians.

      • SorosBot

        Gah, I hate people. And this in one of the few countries where gay marriage is fully legal.

      • Biff

        So you're saying there's a chance for me with Rachel Maddow, then?

      • RavenRant
        • Fare la Volpe

          ECUADOR! Thank you! I was looking for that article but somehow convinced myself it was Peru.

          Take note: Don't go blindly into a Google search of "Lesbian Rape Peru."

          • RavenRant

            Thanks for the warning. I wouldn't be surprised if there were more 'clinics' throughout Catholic dominated regions.

            These 'normal' people are some sick fucks.

    • chicken_thief

      Well, hey, she was just asking for it with that blonde hair and all….

  • Ha ha– deer in the headlights.

  • Goonemeritus

    I love the way Michele gives Elijah’s mom the death ray stare at the end. I find it funny that people who base their whole careers on derision and hate are the most surprised when it is visited upon them.

    • RavenRant

      I don't think a cute child's barely-above-a-whisper defense of his mom rises to 'derision and hate'.

      More like a very mild reproach for being an ignorant bigot.

  • chicken_thief

    Slightly off topic, but One L bent over that table like she's done it before. Lots-o-times….

    • Not_So_Much

      This gives me a disturbing vision of Marcus making her dress in a leisure suit and fake mustache…

    • northernbassist

      And what position do *you* recommend for 'praying away the gay?'

  • YouBetcha

    So this kid has a gay mom, and Bachmann's kids have a gay daddy? Ok.

    • not that Dewey

      Marcus needs fixing, alright, but not for being gay.

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Her dumbfounded, wide-eyed silence in reaction is not necessarily evidence that she processed this information,

    Actually, that is the same expressions she gives to anything she is told, whether it is that Obama is the anti-Christ to what Marcus has whipped up for breakfast.

    • Tommmcattt

      It's the Valium kicking hard.

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Actually, I'm pretty sure Bachman's reaction was caused by her getting a mental picture of what it must be like to be touched by someone that actually finds females attractive.

    • Biff

      Oh, she's touched, alright.

    • Negropolis

      Oh shit. You cut deep, my friend. So. Fucking. Deep.

  • sbj1964

    AWKWARD ! My Lesbian mom thinks your pretty?

  • That little gay kid was very brave to stand so close to that mean lady.

  • Extemporanus

    Gay mommies are the new Twin Towers.


    • SheriffRoscoe

      I wish I could fist you twice.

      • Extemporanus

        Meet me in the first class lavoratory in ten minutes, you sexy sky butler, you…

        (And bring box cutters and lube!)

  • Baconzgood

    "My foster mommy is Michele Bachmann and she needs fixing"

    -One of Her 28 Kajillion Foster Children-

    • Fare la Volpe

      Why haven't we found a single one of them sucking truckers off in a restroom stall yet? C'mon, news media. Get on it!

    • Redhead

      Or at least having her medications adjusted.

  • freakishlywrong

    This could only be more perfect had he whispered, "you hate-filled twunt" at the end.

  • Callyson

    "My mommy is gay and she doesn't need fixing."
    What a polite kid. I would have added "You, on the other hand, need…"

    • CommieLibunatic

      "…a one-on-one conversation with a Red Snapper electric fence transformer"?

    • memzilla

      "… a personal introduction to the grillwork of a 1958 Plymouth Fury (with a capital 'F')"?

    • Tommmcattt

      A tête-à-tête with a piledriver?

    • Negropolis

      "…an honest and open dialogue with your big, fat gay husband for the first time in both of your miserable little lives"?

      "…intensive electro-shock therapy"?

      "…to get a fucking clue"?

  • sbj1964

    Michele Bachmann, her hair looks like the wife of a 1960's Astronaut styles it.

  • littlebigdaddy

    Occupy Myrtle Beach? The mini golf courses or the tattoo parlors?

    • OneYieldRegular

      No kidding. That there even IS an Occupy Myrtle Beach just made my day.

      • Negropolis

        I know, right? They are everywhere.

  • Buh-bye
    Is that considered 'waving the gay away'?

  • edgydrifter

    Michele was very brave in the face of this would-be kidnapper.

  • SorosBot

    I'm surprised Bachmann didn't run away and hide again; I guess she was OK since the lesbian herself wasn't near her, just her kid.

  • What was going through Michele's head after her encounter….

    "I need a shower!"
    "I wonder what my hair taste like?"

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Looks like her brain just bluescreened at the unexpected input.

      • She *would* have a brain that runs on Win-doze.

    • Negropolis

      "Meow, meow, meow, meow…meow, meow, meow, meow…"

      Either that, or the opening song to "Two-and-a-half Men."

  • DaSandman

    Well son, I'm sure you're right about your Mom. However Michelle needs a FUCKTON of fixing. I'm glad you decided to start on her today.

  • sbj1964

    I heard Michele Bachmann Laughed during the Movie Shindler's List.Did not cry when Old Yeller died,and when she's not pulling the wings off of flies for fun she likes to Club baby seals over the head with a baseball bat.

  • UpstateYorkee

    I think that intensely blank stare was a moment of sheer panic as she comes to deluded self-realization that she's being 'attacked' again by a gay!

  • OneYieldRegular

    It's not exactly a horde of children surrounding and then eating Michele Bachmann, like the ending of "Suddenly Last Summer," but at least it's a start.

  • Bonzos_Bed_Time

    Somehow, someway, One-L is going to turn this into a an appeal for campaign donations.

  • datateday

    That kid is very brave BUT seriously NEVER get that close to Michele Bachmann, even if you have to tell her not to fix your own mother.

  • fletc3her

    Out of the mouths of babes.

  • Wonderthing

    You do imagine her in a uniform, with riding crop and monocle, pointing imperiously as she directs her soldiers to take the child to a reprogramming center where he and others like him can pray away his mommy's gay.

    • Puffperney

      I do indeed imagine that, SS style uniform of course, but, just the top part, belted top above with net hose and knee boots below. Riding crop a must, the monacle has to go though. …and her name becomes Helga, "she-devil of the SS".

      …but, that's probably just me imagining that.

  • johnnymeatworth

    Where do we donate to his college fund?

  • DetectiveGrey

    Okay, I wouldn't call this child abuse, but it's definitely out-of-place for a mother to use her child in this way. I at least hope she explained to him what he was saying rather than just use him as a tool to make a statement.

    • I'm not sure his mother did put him up to it. He might have overheard Mommy and her friends talking about Bachmann's stance on gay rights.

      Children understand MUCH more than we give them credit for. When my best friend's daughter was barely three years old, her parents took her to visit a friend who was dying of AIDS. Without any prompting, she asked her parents, "Are George and Ron married just like you guys are married?" They had to explain the situation to her. Chances are, that's exactly what happened with this little boy.

  • poncho_pilot

    derp derp child abuse derp derp!

  • DahBoner

    Now could eight-year old Elijah PLEASE explain Universal Booboo Care to the Republicants????

  • I wish that had worked on my ex.

  • Emma/Elijah '12!

    • Gah! This is what I get for being busy all day and not surfing wonkette.

  • OT: I believe Barb is in surgery today. I asked her to let us know that she comes out of it OK, and she promised to have her husband, Jeff, post something here. In case I miss it and you see me wandering about looking all lonely and bereft, would someone be so kind as to let me know that that lovely lady is, as I fervently hope, safely out of surgery? Thank you very much.

    • I too would like to know how she is.

      • Turns out I'm an eejit. She's meeting with her surgeon today, but I'm not sure exactly when she's having her surgery, so I kinda jumped the gun. I'll just go back in my corner with my chew toy now. I'm sure she'll be by soon to let us know she hasn't even HAD her surgery yet.

        • As long as she's OK. That's what counts. And you are not an eejit.

          • I don't know if she's OK — probably, but probly also quite stressed out. It is major surgery, and if she has any anomalous blood vessels — and fibroids do tend to impinge on major blood vessels — she's probably on that weird medication that makes Teh Laydeez KrayZee.

            Thanks, starfangled. You're sweet. (Hugs the little nut)

            I'm still hiding in my corner with my chew toy till Barb comes back, tho.

  • widestanceshakedown

    It would have rocked if she ran away screaming about being held against her will by a child of eight, as would it have also rocked if he told her she smelled like medicine.

  • Guppy

    And this is different from taking your kid to meet Santa at the machine gun range how?

    Because I'm real sure he volunteered for this publicity stunt…

  • BarackMyWorld

    Is it wrong that seeing Michele bent over the table like that gives me naughty thoughts?

    • Ask Mrs. BMW. I'm sure she'll have some helpful suggestions.

  • GregComlish

    Michelle becomes temporarily paralyzed whenever somebody says "lesbian". Then she calls the cops.

  • Tundra Grifter

    So the fans of Ole Crazy Eyes are now asking themselves, "Is she smarter than a second grader?"

    The answer would be "Apparently not."

  • (Hugs the Tommmcattt) Thank you. We're not going away till this fight is WON.

    And if I haven't already told you this year, I love you very dearly.

    • RadioYKWE

      Truly, what we have here is humor and reasoning. Is that so weird? Well I guess to the 23%, we are lefty liberal anti-American union thugs (or something).
      It's been my daily fix for the last 2.5 years. Sanity preservation. Learnin' and laughing.
      BTW, is barb, our doyenne, OK?

      • Yes. You need to hang out at RedState more often. Neither humour nor reason appears to thrive there, and that's less of a swamp than some (*cough* Atlas'Juggs *cough*) I could name

        I don't know. I've been flitting, as it were, from post to post looking for Jeffers' mail. Barb said she would ask him to post a comment to let us know she's OK, but I don't see it. Although, frankly, if I were her lucky spouse, I'd be much more into hovering over her than letting a bunch of people I didn't know from squat know anything at all, at least until she was as OK as feasible.

  • mavenmaven

    Obviously, according to the right wing commentators, it is NOT ok for a child to support his mother on her sexual choice, but it is ok for children to hold Obama=Hitler or Dachau-=Obamacare posters at teabag rallies.

  • ttommyunger

    Jeez, he was just a kid, Shelly recoiled like she'd been tazed.

    • Stop it, you're getting me all excited.

      • ttommyunger

        Ha! You feel normal, then?

  • Negropolis

    Myrtle Beach is like the Pensacola of South Carolina. That is all.

    • If I had the first clue what you were talking about … ah wotthehell, knowing you it's some Class-A high-grade snark, so I upfist you anyways.

      • Negropolis

        These are all places in the South. That's probably all that you need to know. lol

  • Negropolis

    If she's ever been capable of displaying being ashamed, that was about as close as we've ever gotten to seeing it.

    That was really sad, no snark.

  • I could have misread, but my understanding is the kid wanted to do it. I don't think he was being abused by his mom. It can be a fine line deciding what to let your child do. Should you allow him to wear his pink nail polish to school, knowing he might be ridiculed? If you don't, are you stifling his individuality? If you do, are you using him as an unwitting activist or failing to protect him? It seems reasonable to assume that this child is loved.

    • Children of gay/lesbian parents tend to be VERY much wanted and loved. It's not easy to get pregnant when you have gay sex, so they are making a HUGE effort just to have kids. Time, money, and effort. Unlike straight folks, who might have an "oops!" baby from forgetting to use birth control or doing the sexxxytime samba while drunk, and stuff.

  • comrad_darkness

    Brave kid.

  • carlgt1

    oddly I think Michelle came out looking cute from this encounter. I did at first think the mother was a jerk for obviously forcing her kid to do this; but then again Michelle's gang has millions of kids in "Jesus Camps" that are far worse for brainwashing & indoctrination.

  • Good lord, is THAT how Marcus managed to get her pregnant five times?

  • Hugs back. And kisses, too.

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