The S&P threatened to downgrade basically all of Europe yesterday, while news is breaking this morning of further downgrade threats to the Euro bailout fund. So obviously the key move now for Europe is to just bundle up all of its various countries’ debt into one big asset-backed security with Germany in the top tranche and Italy in the bottom one and then the S&P will be all “AAAA++++++ WOULD BUY AGAIN.”
Meanwhile the GOP today is running out of political cover for their continued opposition to the middle class payroll tax cut, as Senators McCaskill and Collins devised a plan that would offset the cost with a two-point tax increase in incomes over $2 million, with specific exemptions for small businesses that might report revenue as otherwise taxable personal income. Meaning: the middle class keeps its tax break, small business job creators get to keep right on being job creators, and the filthy rich see a modest increase in their marginal rate (made even more marginal by the fact that—ahem—most rich people income isn’t income so much as dividends or interest and other fun things you can’t do unless you’re already sitting on top of a giant pile of money—but look at us digressing). Have fun voting against this bill, guys! See you in November!
Speaking of modest tax increases on the filthy rich, Gov. Cuomo is looking to raise tax rates on New York state’s 1%. Cuomo published an essay yesterday laying out his doctrine of fairness in taxation, and while it’s no Rawls by any means it’s at least a start! Most of all, though, we’re just really looking forward to seeing New York get its fiscal house in order with some fair and progressive tax rates so that we as a nation get back to redistributing $0.30 of every $1.00 that New York state pays in federal taxes to states like Mississippi so voters there can keep right on complaining about all the communists in Washington and their redistribution of wealth all while the Upper East Side is paying for their Medicare. Because that’s always fun.
Oh and speaking of Medicare! If you’re anything like us and you’ve long wondered why on earth President Obama would have spent every last cent of his political capital on a healthcare law that doesn’t even go into effect until 2013 (read: after the election), leaving voters with no idea what the bill does or how it will help them in their day-to-day lives and leaving plenty of time on the airwaves for GOP presidential contenders to make up whatever they damn well please, well, you’re in luck! Because check it out: Medicare recipients are saving over $500/yr on prescriptions, in addition to—and this is news!—Part D premiums staying flat last year.
You know, we would be interested in hearing if Mitt Romney saw similar results in the first year after passing a nearly identical plan while governor of Massachusetts, except it turns out he blew $100,000 in state funds to purge records of his time in office? Which: yikes. Maybe this lack of a physical record explains all the flip-flopping? Could be! But in any event, if Romney were a real cost-cutter he would’ve taken a page from the George W. Bush playbook: just keep all sensitive communiques to the backchannels in the first place.
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Will this improve my broadband?
Nope, only reading that incredibly annoying ad will help you.
You actually read it?
Lord no. Whoever designed that ad needs to go back to marketing school – doesn't even appear interesting.
I clicked on it and now I'm making smart-ass comments on Verizon's customer service page. Not nearly as much fun as you guys. Plus the moderator is a real nazi.
It's better than that squidgy and unreadable book ad.
Donald Trump is a big enough douche bag to completely cleanse a whale's vagina.
And yet the poor whale would still have that "not so fresh" feeling afterwards.
Can one douche a sperm whale? The name implies that they're all male.
I dunno, the name "sperm whale" is of Eskimo origin and is also pronounced "Bristol"
Blubber libel!
Their heads are full of fat. Yep, must be males.
But, being males, they refer to the fat as "spermaceti" allowing for yet another opportunity to say "sperm".
What kind of wine goes with spermaceti? I love pasta, don't you?
Stop making fun of Sarah.
Lou Sarah liked this.
The hair would tickle too much.
"DON'T TOUCH THA HAIR!"
…and of all this the ridiculous comb-over was merely the symbol. Wonder ye then at the fiery hunt!?
Happy image for the day: Trump stuffed in the nether regions of a whale.
SAVE THE WAILS!!
and the blowhole
I am uncomfortable with the image of Mittens purging.
Willard is comfortable with bodily functions of almost any kind, including this.
It just doesn't pass the sniff test.
Someone needs to get a picture of Trump's hair after a shower. That would be the end of him.
http://www.mopo.ca/uploaded_images/nazi-fish-7804…
Are you sure that's not Giuliani?
How about a picture of Trump's hair sitting on the counter during a shower?
I've often wondered what he would look like after a shower too but never had the nerve to say so in public for fear of being ridiculed. Thanks for taking one for the team.
Absolutely – I do what I can for the common good. It's better than working.
He doesn't shower, he's dry-clean only.
Meanwhile, global warming accelerated in 2010 so it doesn't even matter if Europe or the US can fix our fucked-up economies, we're all doomed anyway.
Also, ice age in 10,000 years or less.
Humans deserve to be extinct, particularly ones named Bush. We can rest easy knowing that we will be the next fossil fuel.
+ solar Brennschluß in seven billion years.
"In the long run all of us are dead."
—now-discredited economist John "Maynard" Keynes.
Just because half the planet has AIDS, religious extremism is taking over, the oceans are rising and whaleshit Newt Gingrich is getting a lot of publicity doesn't mean the world is coming to an end. Oh, wait a minute, yes it does. Disregard.
Not the world; just human civilization as we know it. But hey, Europe managed to recover from the collapse of Roman after only about a millennium, and the loss of industrialization would mean no more greenhouse gases would be pumped into the air, so we should be all right eventually.
It'll be interesting to see how it all turns out. Oh, wait…
You and your efforts to prevent Michigan from becoming the next Florida. Get out of here, I'm enjoying this weather.
Awesome. I already live in the very armpit of Hell, how can it get worse? That's a rhetorical question, btw.
Actually, Europe's been upgraded to "Do Not Buy."
Them?
The church excommunicates people, while S&P excommericates them.
They've made a huge mistake…
Gov. Cuomo better look out for the Donald. He's both filthy AND rich.
And the ECB is all "DID NOT EMAIL BEFORE GIVING NEGATIVE FEEDBACK!! … >:-( … PLEASE IGNORE!"
DOH!
~
and then the S&P will be all “AAAA++++++ WOULD BUY AGAIN.”
Horrible service, does not respond to emails. Will not do bizness with again.
~
Never received my Dooney & Burk handbag.
Please refund my $5.95.
On the lighter side of News the world will end in 2012. So kick back ,and enjoy the ride !
Sorry I was looking at Olivia Munn's Sexy Ad.
Why doesn't she do that on The Daily Show? 'Cause I'd stay up for that, if you know what I mean.
Is it worth it? I've just always assumed that any implied nudity in an ad on a left-leaning political site automatically leads to PETA.
I don't know. I was listening to her pitch with my eyes.
I have a warm spot in my heart, or wherever, for PETA. Right up to the point where they release the caged plague apes and kill us all.
Why does it feel like the GoP wants to crash the economy so that they can win the election?
Oh… OK.
Where was the fucking S&P before our stupid economy got flushed? Triple rating the shit out of all the banks that flushed it, that's where.
But now they have to downgrade all the sovereign debt, no matter how much it fucks the world economy, to prove that they're "serious". Even though they already proved that they aren't. Our economy is ruled by fools and idiots who think they're intelligent and somehow believe the policies of Herbert Hoover will work this time around.
And yet people still fall for the lie that our leaders are somehow intelligent enough to be allowed to tell the rest of us what to do.
Just one among many big lies, actually.
The S&P was around, busily misclassifying things.
Can S&P downgrade the Donald? Better yet, can they deport this schmuck?
Salt-n-Pepa downgrading The Donald?!?!?!?? Didn't he assure us he has a great relationship with the blacks?
It's true! His best friends are John and Mary Black.
He was born in Jamaica, after all.
[Mitt Romney] blew $100,000 in state funds to purge records of his time in office?
I guess he really didn't want people finding out he didn't actually like that music.
I had some tranche once, that shit burns! the 'cylin couldn't work fast enough!
and also, Donald Trump being a public figure is a sign of the complete and total bankruptcy of public discourse in this fucking giant strip mall of a nation.
Italy is still worse. Imagine if Trump owned every single media outlet and then was president for 3 decades.
US debt was "downgraded" and Treasures are trading at 2%. If it goes any lower, investors will have to pay the Federal government to hold the money.
I think S&P should take a hard look at The Donald. He's due for a downgrade. The Paultards are raking him over the coals on Amazon. The ghost 5-star reviewers can't keep up with those giving him just 1.
Dulce!
"If it goes any lower, investors will have to pay the Federal government to hold the money."
Technically, that's already happening with a real inflation rate north of 2%.
OT, Hey, No mention of a Herman Caine Sex tape yet? How long will we have to wait?
Until some more marketable partners are identified. Get after it, Herman! Find yourself some young ones!
Hello again, Mr. Breakfast.
I can say with confidence I could wait a very long time.
He's negotiating for a cameo in Nailin' Pailin", Part II.
Hello!?! 999 (minutes? days? hours?)
Europe should have used CreditCheck.com turns out Serbia stole their Identity,and ran up a bunch of credit cards.
"Senators [Claire] McCaskill and [Susan] Collins"
Pastor McGlothlin experiences a bit of brain-acid reflux: Faces Of Eve <<—->> FACES OF EVIL! Which Biblical precedent is today's Flavor of the Hour?!!1!
Someone should round up the S&P executives who do the ratings (and who mess with the global economy with their downgrades) and throw them into the same Soviet prison that Putin is using to hold the Russians who are challenging the legitimacy of his last election victory.
But 146% of Russians approve!
So they get Faux Noose too?
We need to send some election observors over, stat. No one should be allowed to steal an election. What? Oh…never mind.
If only S&P, Moody's, Fitch had but one neck….
Much like a hydra, 5 more would sprout in its absence.
Mitt Romney is Nixon! Romney/Agnew 2012
I wonder what would happen if the mostly Blue States (ie job creators) declared war on the mostly Red States (ie: parasites). I wonder how fast would OccupyWallStreet be overrun with shrieking fat white people on Rascals and oxygen tanks.
If the Red States would actually stop taking money from that Evil Old Washington, the Blue States could repair their infrastructure, some some environmental work, and put a bunch of people through college. It would be a philosophical win (a loss) for the Red States and a massive practical win (actual win) for the Blue States.
the middle class keeps its tax break, small business job creators get to keep right on being job creators, and the filthy rich see a modest increase in their marginal rate
Islamo-Fascist, Taliban-wing, Brezhnev-like, Communist, socialist Marxists.
Shorter Wingnut:
“I've become so confused by all of our smears I can’t pick just one”
Standard and Poor's? I truly believe we should base everything economic on something named "Average" and "Far Below Average".
I see what you did. You got out a dictionary and performed "due diligence". Stockbrokers and investment bankers just hate that.
Global economic collapse can happen, and the trigger could be something relatively small, like China's current real estate bubble popping…
http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/cr/1846142733/ref=aw_…
Surprisingly small events have outsized impact. That's true in chaos theory which seems to rule over the world financial markets, which are their own subset of chaos theory.
Of course, Chinese real estate bubbling and popping is not exactly an outlier event but still…
Your favorite theory of justice philosopher sucks!!!
I was sure he meant Lou Rawls. Boy, is my face red.
Well, maybe he did mean Lou.
Great top comment there too.
I blame the Muppets.
Well they are brainwashing our children to hate capitalism, according to Fox.
Why are the media teaching kids to hate the
scumbagsbrave job creators that made them sleep in their car for Christmas? Socialism, I tells ya.As a New Yorker I would like to take this opportunity to ask Mississippi to suck my balls.
Perhaps we could pass a Consitutional amendment that says, if your (Red) state takes in more Federal spending than you pay out in taxes, then your residents must go suck the balls of (Blue) state citizens who make up your shortfall.
No fear of them using their teeth.
Herman Cain's fascination with the song from the Pokemon movie suddenly made me stop and realize that the entire GOP election strategy comes down to a Pokemon battle.
"Newtiechoo! I choose you!"
Poor is the new Standard.
The "chocolate making" countries were always over-rated anyway.
If Semore & Putz downgrades everybody America will be on top again because we were downgraded first. USA! USA! USA!
All this stuff is too smart for me.
Hey as long as my (Upper West Side) tax ameros are being used to build beautiful and useful bridges for the grateful people of Alaska I'm good.
Also, make sure to set aside a couple bucks for the good folks at Personhood, Inc.. Because all the future fats, poors, welfare cheats, and stupids in Mississippi aren't going to birth themselves.
I clicked on that link. Now I must hate you.
If anything, Donald Trump should be the 'Person of the Decade' for 2001-2010 because it just sucked that much. This is now 2011, however, and we should be so over the Trump.
The Wasilla Grifter Queen Grizzly had a strong showing in the latter stages of the decade, though. A few more appearances with Trig on her hip coulda put her over the top.
"You should read the tape Bret".
(Mitt-Flopper)
Rick Santorum thinks poor people die because "they make poor decisions" and that they don't have health insurance because they don't go to the doctor.
http://2012.talkingpointsmemo.com/2011/12/santoru…
Christian compassion, my friends.
I need him to go through that "this is a paper towel" and "this is a napkin" thing again, because honestly, I'm still a little confused.
According to that article, Ricky wants to "flesh out some" discussion of same-sex couples.
On behalf of my partner and myself, DO NOT WANT.
Keep buying all the gold, silver, and oil you can get your hands on, folks. S&P and Moody's abdicated their reponsibilities a long time ago: their ratings don't mean squat. The Lehman collapse is going to look like an economic boom compared to what's coming.
Oh, Grampa, you always know just how to comfort us.
Have I mentioned that we are freakin' doomed?
Not in the last 5 minutes, no.
"…a plan that would offset the cost with a two-point tax increase in incomes over $2 million, with specific exemptions for small businesses that might report revenue as otherwise taxable personal income. "
Grover Norquist,, after stomping his feet and throwing himself on the floor in protest, confirmed with the ghost of Raygun via the tea leaves that this is, in fact, a tax increase and therefore a not starter. Sorry Middle Class – have your kids get jobs!!!
Get to swabbing those toilets, ya lazy bums.
S&P? Really? We are still paying attention to what these sold-out whores say? Our Rating Agencies are the ones that blessed all those Credit Default Swaps with AAA Ratings, therefore sending our entire economy down the fucking crapper in 2008 along with a good part of the major European Financial Institutions. These cocksuckers ought to be making up their ratings from a fucking prison cell, fer Chrissakes!
From the Medicare article:
Doughnut holistics needz moar eyeballs..
The world financial system is nothing more than an elaborate Ponzy scam.A shell game being played by the IMF,and world bank operations.Unfortunatly the house of cards they have constructed is about to fall.
It's a good thing too! There's a playing card shortage!
So Obama spent political capital on the olds who think he's an uppity Kenyan negro communist anyway…
…in addition to cleaning everyone's clock in Iowa, he's doing the same in South Carolina now.
I have full faith in Newt capacity to self-destruct before the South Carolina primary. That's a month and a half's worth of stupid shit for him to say. Surely he can alienate EVERYONE by then.
I don't give a fuck. I've got a basement full of Medical Marijuana plants. I'm good until the power goes out.
The Eurozone could get triple AAA ratings from S&P if only they would package 5,000 worthless mortgages with 100 good ones, hire a math professor from MIT to make up some numbers and pay S&P the appropriate fee.
I'm sorry, but at this point, I'm not putting any more "End of the World" events on my calendar. Their is no point in scheduling the end of the world if it isn't going to happen on schedule, it just makes people loose confidence in our impending doom and really, who profits from that?
Medicare recipients are saving over $500/yr on prescriptions, in addition to—and this is news!—Part D premiums staying flat last year.
You would almost think that the Prez was trying to provide affordable healthcare access to everyone, even if it wasn't politically the best thing to do.
Wonkette seems particularly feisty today…
The whole planet seems to be downgraded. Better head out to Kepler-22b!
I thought the world was to end when S & P downgraded the USofA to A-double-plus-B-point-5 divided by an eight of European GNP. So I sold my house, the children and the dog, bought gold coins and have lived in a tent to await the 2nd coming of Jesus, who would be an illegal alien. It is now wintertime, and it is cold in my tent, but I've got my gold, which is buried where no one else can find it, to keep me warm. Fuck S&P.
I blame Obama.
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