the scum also rises

Fox News Dingbats Using Up Oxygen To Intensify War Against Puppets

Oh look, a new children’s film starring Muppets with the controversial theme “greed is bad” is the scandal-du-jour over at used dildo recycling plant Fox News? Sure. Last Friday the Fox News business channel presumably had some airtime to fill to avoid any lengthy discussion of the Labor Department’s positive jobs report, so actual tumor Eric Bolling randomly freaked out about the name of the fictional villain of the new Muppets movie, “Tex Richman.” It’s an anti-capitalist message for the childruns, see! Bolling is back again with another panel of venal idiots to belabor his confused non-point, as underscored by the fact that for most of the segment they appear to be discussing the mind terrorism of Sesame Street interchangeably with that of the Muppets. A five-year-old knows the difference, but these Fox News rejects are condemned to struggle with such lofty perceptions.

They also struggle with English! Our favorite is the jabbering fool at 2:49 who declares that children “get impressionized” by these things, whatever that SAT word is that we have never heard. The segment concludes with the lady panelist telling the three male panelists that she feels like they are just beating her up, for not letting her speak.

Come now, parents, wouldn’t you rather have our youth watching the children’s programming on Fox News, to learn rudeness, illiteracy and greed? [Media Matters]

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    1. Biel_ze_Bubba

      Hey, I like the Muppets as much as anybody … but I certainly don't pull the strings. Admittedly, it's close to my job description, so I can understand the confusion, but it should be obvious whose idle hands are doing my work here.

  1. KathrynSane

    Fox News is just trying to protect their target demographic of dim-witted (wo)manchildren who never learned how to share.

  2. Sue4466

    When reached for comment, SpongeBob SquarePants (I-Fictional) issued the following statement "Makes you wonder what puppetmaster has their hand up the asses of the folks at Fox, doesn't it?"

        1. Callyson

          For a while, after Mr Rogers' death, there was a hipster T – shirt store here in Los Angeles that sold a T – shirt with Mr Rogers' image and the words "Never Forget." Guess they'll have to do "Stand up for the Muppets" now…

          1. Baconzgood

            I was at one of The Great George Carlin's shows and the opening act made a joke about Mr. Rogers being a pedophile and you would have thought that the comic was going to get lynched. This is Mr. Rogers neighborhood and we got his back yo! Someone actually broke into his house once and when it hit the news the thief turned himself in and returned all the stolen property.

      1. Biel_ze_Bubba

        Your name, Satan, gives you a desire to please and a friendly nature that could draw you into the sales field.

        You appear quite confident outwardly, but you do suffer with lack of confidence at times and draw upon the support and encouragement of others.

        Although you desire to create harmony in your associations, you can be too candid in your expression, especially if you are challenged by others.

        Then you can be quietly stubborn and resist taking advice.

        You want to be more expressive, diplomatic, and easy-going, but you feel the limitation in your communication with others and it creates frustration within you.

        The name Satan creates the desire for harmony with others, but we point out that it causes a blunt expression that alienates others.

        This name, when combined with the last name, can frustrate happiness, contentment, and success, as well as cause health weaknesses in the fluid systems, and tension or accidents to the head.
        I'm going to have a word with whoever created that algorithm.

        1. bagofmice

          Your first name of Adolf makes you a quick thinker, both philosophical and creative.
          You appreciate music, art, and drama and, if given training, could excel in those fields.
          Self-consciousness may prevent you from feeling at ease in positions of impromptu expression.
          Desiring to be free from detail and monotony, you find it difficult to finish what you start if it does not hold your interest.
          You enjoy reading and the beauties of nature, experiencing peace and relaxation in outdoor activities.
          A very individual, independent person, you live within your own thoughts.
          Although the name Adolf creates an interest in the deeper aspects of life, we emphasize that it causes procrastination, lack of confidence, and the inability to realize your goals and ambitions.
          This name, when combined with the last name, can frustrate happiness, contentment, and success, as well as cause health weaknesses in the heart, lungs, bronchial area, and fluid systems.

          1. Lascauxcaveman

            Hmm… I just typed in "Oedipus." It hasn't returned an answer yet. I think I may have broken it.

      2. SorosBot


        The name of Newt creates a very aggressive and independent nature, one with big ambitions, giving you original, progressive, large-scale ideas, salesmanship and promotional ability as well as the excellent business judgment which enables you to gain the financial accumulation to which you feel entitled.

        You have a versatile, restless nature, and could do any job well, although you would not like to do menial tasks.

        You are seldom satisfied and are always seeking something new.

        Although the name Newt causes an active mind and a restless urge to explore new ideas, we emphasize that it causes an unscrupulous, materialistic approach that frustrates higher humanitarian qualities.

    1. Negligently_Joe

      If they did, they might have second thoughts about working at Fox News.

      OH WAIT, you mean in the movie.

    2. Mumbletypeg

      can't remember which wonketteer used to have an avatar with an image of one of the Fox twats, I'm guessing Gretchen Carlson, caught with her eyes crossed not unlike many muppets tend to look, like that new one "Lily whose appearance got a good ribbing here some pages ago.

  3. SorosBot

    Children "get impressionized" by the Muppets because it makes them turn blurry, with visible broad strokes, instead of looking like traditional, photo-realistic children.

  4. GorzoTheMighty

    I don't know. They might be on to something. I like muppets and I am a socialist. Coincidence or fetish for green frogs?

  5. WhatTheHeck

    Well, Fox News analysts/puppets, its hard to say something intelligent when Rupert has his hands up your ass. Talk about control!

    1. sbj1964

      Murdoc ? I thought Ann Coulter was shagging everyone at Fox News? Nasty little HO! no telling where her hands have been. Wearing a Little black Skank dress at 6am on the Today show.For Christmas I think Bill O'reilly should get her some glass heels !

      1. SorosBot

        He actually did cameo in the original Muppet Movie, which came out after his death and was his final appearance.

  6. BerkeleyBear

    I saw one piece of this as the sign off for the Daily Show last night and was floored. I mean, they are so ignorant that they think WIC (and even more bizarrely, S-Chip) somehow means there's no food insecurity for children in this country. The demonizing of the poor is complete – even the cute urchins are fair game!

    Oh, and calling a purely capitalistic piece of entertainment in which the entire premise is that a group has to try and get a network gig to raise money is somehow anti-capitalism is just hilarious. My kids sure know that it cost money to go to see it, and that we only have that money because of income, so I'm not sure how well any anti-capitalist message would take hold.

    1. SorosBot

      And Tex Richmanisn't an idealized capitalist; he's a plutocrat who lies and cheats to get what he wants, getting the deed to the old Muppet theater by saying he plans to turn it into a museum and then trying to sabotage the telethon. That's whose side Fox is on; not the honest businessman but those who get ahead through fraud and rigging the system.

      1. BerkeleyBear

        Well, who needs protection against fraud – the market will control it. Right, family living in their car after the house they financed with the ARM they didn't really understand and shouldn't have gotten was foreclosed on? At least, that's what a Paulite told me.

  7. Joshua Norton

    children “get impressionized” by these things

    When Fascism comes to America, it will be wrapped in excess body fat & carrying a misspelled sign.

    1. walterhwhite

      Fascism has already come to the USA. I'm waiting for democracy to return. I keep listening to that Leonard Cohen song written so many years ago but still so timely: "Democracy is Coming to the USA."

        1. Lascauxcaveman

          I've got the purple squirt gun back in my hand.

          (Wait a sec, maybe Jon really was messing with us.)

  8. Allmighty_Manos

    The archetype of the evil rich guy wrecking the holidays was pioneered by known Marxist propagandists Charles Dickens and Frank Capra. Even wonder why TV ran It's a Wonderful Life all the time around Christmas? Global Soviet conspiracy.

    1. HarryButtle

      George Bailey is a whiny socialist, the Bailey Building and Loan is a collective that lends money to people who don't deserve it (and then practices loan modification/debt relief when the deadbeats can't pay it back), and Henry Potter is actually the job creating hero of the story.

      1. Chichikovovich

        You can see that in the part of the story where Bedford Falls becomes Potterville. Potterville is just overflowing with jobs – jobs at the "nightclub" where the floozified Violet dances, jobs at the pawnshops, jobs at the dark satanic mills, and clearly by "broadening the tax base" they've been able to hire at least twice as many policemen. A capitalist triumph.

        But it can easily be saved, by Fox News standards. Just chop off the implausible deus ex machina of all the friends rallying to George's aid. Let George jump back in the river and you've got yourself a Fox News happy ending.

  9. DaRooster

    How dare these Muppets try to teach kids to treat each other with consideration and thoughtfulness. That is not the 'Merican way… screw thy neighbor.
    Fucking Puppets!

    1. jqheywood

      One, two, three,
      Four, five, six,
      Seven, eight, nine,
      Ten, eleven, twelve,
      Ladybugs came…

      ….to the Ladybug Picnic!

  10. Fare la Volpe

    Eric released his own fan script wherein the Muppets must fight off the conniving schemer "Parasite LePoor" and his nefarious plot to get a moldy bagel so he won't starve to death.

    1. SheriffRoscoe

      "Do no store up for yourselves treasure on Earth." (Or maybe that's backwards. I could never remember!) But anyway, where your heart is, your treasure will be also. And right now your heart wants a new iPad. –Jesus

      1. Biel_ze_Bubba

        I'm pretty sure it's a parable about how giving more to the rich creates money for everybody.

  11. memzilla

    I liked the part at :40, where Bolling sez the movie disrespects Kapitalism (when it "just tweaks greed") — and the stock ticker price comes up for Bank of America (owner of Countrywide Mortgage).

    If an unintentional self-mocking satire falls in a Faux News studio, does it still make a sound?

  12. carlgt1

    I guess they'll be screeching about Charles Dickens & Mark Twain next? Or would reading an actual book be beyond them?

    1. Generation[redacted]

      They already decided that Scrooge was a liberal who favored government programs for the poor.

      1. Fare la Volpe

        "They should kill themselves so they can decrease the surplus population"


    2. Geminisunmars

      Well, too much of their material has actually been made into movies and/or cartoons, so they aren't safe.

  13. Goonemeritus

    First the Bible demonized profit then Charles Dickens and now the Muppets. Why can’t you communist leave my people alone?

  14. freakishlywrong

    Apparently, there was also a considerable amount of pearl clutching over Happy Feet 2. "Something something, indoctrination, think of the children, global warming hoax, gay, something"
    I shit you not.

    1. freakishlywrong

      I get the feeling I'll be ending all my posts until Nov of next year with "I shit you not".
      I shit you not.

  15. Generation[redacted]

    At the 3 minute mark, the guy who says "impressionize" (btw I loved him as Rodney Dangerfield's bodyguard in Back to School) follows up by complaining that a teacher says there's no Santa Claus.

    They should really invite Kermit on to defend himself against these allegations.

    1. SorosBot

      Richman also has a photo in his office where he's shaking hands with W. Bush, so the film is not kind to Texans; and that seems to be the closest to actual liberal propaganda the movie has.

    2. Geminisunmars

      Ya, but, it is only two transposed letters away from another meaning. This message was brought to you by the letters E and A.

      1. bagofmice

        FB? Facebook? No, that's only off by one, like MS and NT. GC is a garbage collector unless we are setting a looping constraint and reverse cycling through the ordinality of the English alphabet.

    1. Lionel[redacted]Esq

      I was reading The Lorax to my then three year old niece and she fell asleep half-way through it. I was afraid she would think it was a book about the wonders of Capitalism. Now I know that I just read her the FOX News approved version.

    2. MosesInvests

      "Santa Claus wears a red suit-he's a Communist,
      Has a beard and long hair-must be a pacifist.
      What's in that pipe he's smoking?"

      "The Paws of Santa Claus"-
      Arlo Guthrie

  16. SheriffRoscoe

    Is Tex Richman the same Richman that Jesus said wouldn't get into heaven, on account of his being a Richman?

    1. Generation[redacted]

      No, that's completely different. Jesus was talking about the dangers of socialism and how abortion should be outlawed. Then dern libruls took it out of context! I bet you lerned that on teh muppet show!

    2. bureaucrap

      Now that you mention it, I'm actually surprised that the wingnuts haven't already edited the bible to take out all the passages with which they disagree. Or have they, and I'm just behind the ball?

      1. SheriffRoscoe

        The bible is entirely literal. Except for the figurative parts. The camel and the eye of the needle is figurative, because to be rich is actually what God wants for His children. I know it's confusing, but this is why we have Baptist preachers.

  17. MildMidwesterner

    Statler: Wake up you old fool. You slept through the show.
    Waldorf: Who's a fool? You watched it.

        1. Generation[redacted]

          W: That was wonderful!
          S: Bravo!
          W: I loved it!
          S: That was great!
          W: Well, it was pretty good.
          S: Well, It wasn't bad.
          W: There were parts that weren't pretty good, though.
          S: It could've been a lot better.
          W: I didn't really like it.
          S: It was pretty terrible.
          W: It was bad.
          S: It was awful!
          S & W: Terrible! Eh, boo!

  18. paris biltong

    Let's face it, culture in general has been grossly unfair to the rich. Even fucking Jesus had something to bitch about and then it was more of the same up to Victor Hugo and John Steinbeck. Fox is more than justified in its attempts to give us a more balanced view.

  19. SorosBot

    I'd like to see how the Fox Business "journalists" would react to being heckled by Statlor and Waldorf.

  20. chicken_thief

    I'm surprised they didn't connect the dots from the gay Teletubby to these soshuliss muppets. Saving that for a Glenn Beck Special, with chalkboard illustrations, perhaps?

  21. ChernobylSoup

    I took my 5 year old son to see the Muppets movie on Saturday. Now he's demanding universal booboo care, so Fox might be on to something here.

    In related news, Amy Adams is going to love me once she gets to know me.

  22. EatsBabyDingos

    Wait til they find out the Mahna Mahna song came from an Italian porn movie.

    "1% of the world's cookie monsters eat 99% of the world's cookies."

    C. Monster.

  23. JustPixelz

    The tag at the bottom of the screenshot says "Are liberals trying to brainwash your children against capitalism?" Nope. Capitalism is doing that all by itself — just ask the 99%.

    I'm not clear on how Muppets equates to liberals except they are all people(?) of color.

    The trouble with their argument that movies and teevee impressionize young minds, is that the young minds of the 1950s were immersed in conservative "Father Knows Best" messages. Then they came of age in the 1960s and upended more than a few things. (Of course today, they're all Tea Party olds.)

    1. SorosBot

      The Muppets teach children such values as tolerance and cooperation; you would think these are just universal, positive values, but no, to the Randian and fundamentalist Christian sociopaths on the far right these are somehow bad things; they think kids should be taught to be bigoted and selfish.

      1. JustPixelz

        Over the weekend, I went to see “Drumline Live” which is musical revue based on the film. It showcases African-American music from the past 50 years. The audience cheered enthusiastically for some songs I didn't even recognize. I figured I'm either too old or too white for that part of the show. I must be too white, because the alternative is unthinkable.

    2. dadanarchist

      I'm not clear on how Muppets equates to liberals except they are all people(?) of color.

      The Muppets required creativity, cooperation, talent, intelligence and humor – ERGO, liberals were involved.

  24. Oblios_Cap

    How is our children ever going to learn to think if we don't tell what they're allowed to know?

    Critical thinking is the enemy of the status quo.

    1. Mumbletypeg

      That was so nicely put. However, I've still got "Ladybugs Picnic" song from Sesame Street playing in my head, thanks to DerrickWildat upthread, so I can't tell if your quote also holds up to expectations of a great beat you can dance to.

    1. SorosBot

      I'd like to see the Fox anchors get treated like The Muppet Show's anchorman:

      Bill O'Reilly: "..and he is a pinhead"
      [pin is thrown at his head, sticks in his eye]
      "Aaah, my eye!"

  25. EatsBabyDingos

    And what Muppet song do I always think of when I watch Fox, especially when Ken Hootchiecootchienelli is on?

    "It ain't Easy Being Green." And then I barf.

  26. dadanarchist

    To be fair, everybody knows that Dr. Honeydew is experimenting with stem cells, Rizzo the Rat is an SEIU union thug, the Swedish Chef is an illegal immigrant and Statler and Waldorf are tenured members of the Liberal Elite.

  27. LesBontemps


    Who needs to? All they have to do is look around them.

  28. DerrickWildcat

    There is another pretty good movie that is kind of like this. There is this guy named Ernest and he works at a camp where they send bad kids and his job is to make them good. Well there is this big company that wants to dig up the camp because there is some special kinds of rocks or whatever that are under the dirt of the camp. So Ernest and the bad kids shoot turtles and stuff at them and make them go away. The bad kids hug Ernest because they save the camp and the bad kids are good now.

    1. Extemporanus

      Great, I try to post a simple comment with a YouTube link that IntenseDebate totally repeatedly mangles so I angrily delete it within thirty seconds of it going live and yet you somehow manage to reply to it like some fast-fingered sadist and now my day is totally ruined so I'm going to go drink a bottle of DayQuil and watch Sesame Street and cry, oh how I will cry.

      "Yiiiiiiiip yip yip yipyipyyipyipyip!", indeed.

      [EDIT: Oh, sure, NOW the fucking link fucking works. Ha fucking ha.]

      1. Geminisunmars

        I was just waiting to pounce! hahaha hah! At least you brightened up the day for one person. Yip yip yip.I'm enjoying my NyQuil, myself, these last few days.

    1. fletc3her

      I will not stand for this, sir. The KFC Double Down points the way to what all the finer restaurants will be serving in the coming years. Not since Wendy's Baconater Triple has a restaurant found a way to cram so much meat into a sandwich.

  29. Blueb4sunrise

    Just change the name to Faisal Richman or Weng Bao Richman and they'll be okay with demonizing them.

  30. SorosBot

    I do, however, want to thank Eric Bolling and friends for unintentionally giving me the world's third greatest gift, laughter.

      1. SorosBot

        It's a reference to a bit from the movie; Kermit calls laughter the world's greatest gift, but then others interject that he forgot children and ice cream, so they name it the world's third greatest gift; and it gets called back later.

        1. Lionel[redacted]Esq

          And, here, I thought a blow job was the second greatest gift…., although I guess that is a lot like ice cream.

      2. LetUsBray

        I was thinking of a line from another great film:

        "As long as there's sex and drugs, I can do without rock & roll."

  31. imissopus

    I highly recommend going over to The Daily Show's website and pulling up a couple of the interviews they have done with Bo Dietl over the years. He's one of my favorite dingbats.

    1. LetUsBray

      Gloriously potty-mouthed. For a long time I was resolved that if I ever achieved a major public office, he would be my press secretary.

  32. Geminisunmars

    Okay, this is OT, but I have to ask. Did anyone see the "60 Minutes" segments about why the Justice department has not brought any suits against some of the perpetrators that brought down our economy when there is plenty of evidence out there? Am I the only one who saw it? I was expecting lots of chatter about it (not necessarily here at Wonksters) and haven't heard a peep. I thought at least Faux would be screaming about CBS trying to give OWS credibility. Crickets? Really?

    1. Eve8Apples

      The big banks spend a lot of money on advertising trying to convince us they care about our financial well-being. The mainstream media probably doesn't want to bite the hands that are feeding them.

      1. Dudleydidwrong

        Yeah, Christ! I've had enough of the Prank of America ads which try to turn them into the next incarnation of Mother Theresa and the Three Wise Men. "Here's your hat back" (which we have just shit into) "and we wiped it off for you. You now owe us love."

  33. Eve8Apples

    Actually, the children are being turned against Capitalism by the Capitalists who are throwing the children out of their homes and cutting off their food stamps, public education funding, student loans and health care. The average 5 year old is a helluva lot smarter than anyone at Faux News.

  34. spends2much

    I guess soon they'll be complaining about the negative portrayal of Ebeneezer Scrooge in various works over the last century and a half. This fine Capitalist gentleman is put upon by his meek employee Bob Crachit, who expects to get PAID TIME OFF just to be with his poor family. Obviously, if Bob worked harder, they would have a bigger Christmas goose, and Tiny Tim would have better health care. The lazy Crachits brought it on themselves, right?
    Congratulations, GOP, you have officially crossed into cartoonish supervillainy. Except you mean every word of it. Humbug.

    1. not that Dewey

      And don't even get me started on that mean old George Bailey. It's not like Mr Potter actually STOLE the money. He's just a hardworking, slumlord Job Creator who wanted what was best for the townspeople of Bedford Falls.

      1. Generation[redacted]

        Why did George Bailey want to punish Mr Potter's success? And impressionize the whole town against him?

    1. Generation[redacted]

      Indoctrination falls under the "ticking time bomb" scenario and justifies waterboarding of any Muppet suspected of knowing something about sharing.

  35. Beowoof

    I would watch the clip, but judging by the typical Fox commentator and viewer, it appears that watching Fox and being on a panel on Fox news causes acute stupidity, which for the Fox crew has become chronic. And I need some chronic after this story.

  36. Antispandex

    "…programming on Fox News, to learn rudeness, illiteracy and greed?"

    Well, if you are one of these stupid red state hillbillies who believe that they (Fox) actually speak for Jesus, this is the message you want your kids to hear. After all, what's more important, money or morals?

  37. sbj1964

    Bill O'Reilly , The curtains go up .The curtains go down ,and still the Muppets are there? You can't explain that sir.We don't know how that works!

  38. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    FOX News has a point. This is why I so much prefer the version of It's a Wonderful Life where Jimmy Stewart kills himself, A Christmas Carol where Scrooge fires Bob Cratchet, and The Lorax where the new Republican President gets rid of the EPA so that Mr. Wuncler can make a killing in the Sneed business.

  39. El Pinche

    With stories like these from the Fox "news" franchise, I always imagine the conversations at the table when the cromagnons and babyt4rds get together for dinner:


  40. poncho_pilot

    i really fucking can't stand these people. this segment is like reading the comments for the Atlas Shrugged trailer on youtube.

  41. MLite

    Fox news is really a lot like the Muppets and Sesame Street; a bunch of puppets whose content is aimed at intellectual children.

  42. whiterabid

    If an anti-capitalist movie creates jobs, is it really anti-capitalist? And how many jobs has Eric Bolling created? And if we aren't supposed to indoctinate our children to hate capitalism, is Eric Bolling actually anti-capitalistic because he is asking his viewers to hate a movie that is making money and creating jobs?

    I'm not sure I understand my own questions, but it seems that Eric Bolling and Fox either hate capitalism, or they just want Obama to fail. What's the next movie to be ravaged? A Christmas Carol?

  43. Nostrildamus

    Problem – I've always found the Muppets repellent. Now that Fox News hates them, do I have to start liking them to keep my liberal cred?

      1. Nostrildamus

        True enough. I always rooted for the cats in Mighty Mouse and for the Professor in Felix the Cat.

  44. anniegetyerfun

    "Impressionizing" is actually a kinky sex act that involves brand irons and a few lengths of copper wire. I'm not saying that anyone at Fox is a kiddie diddler, but I'm not saying that they AREN'T committing horrific acts of child molestation every day, either.

    1. poncho_pilot

      i never thought i'd live in a potential Iran-like Fascist Theocracy or hear about nukes again after 1990…

  45. Manhattan123

    After one of these ridiculous segments ends, I wonder if they all look at one another and burst out laughing. They surely don't believe this shit and are just doing it for the confused dimwits in red state America who do believe and make up the bulk of the Fox News audience and the base of the GOP.

    1. El Pinche

      .. I wonder if they all look at one another and burst out laughing.

      I hope so. At least that would make some sense.

  46. sbj1964

    Recent Studies have shown that watching Fox News Makes you stupid.I think they have the data backwards Your Stupid so you watch Fox News .Just a Theory.

    1. bagofmice

      Your syntax makes my brain hurt. Seriously, those are some RaNdoM ass caps, with highly "unconventional" period spacing. It sticks out like unnecessary quotation marks.

  47. smitallica

    It's funny that right wingers think that everyone is still clinging to what they learned as a child. You know, like they are.

  48. poncho_pilot

    and this is one of many reasons why it sucks being a kid: people who grow up and become assholes like Bolling treat you as if you lack the same critical thinking skills and inability to question anything that they lack. they go out of their way to stifle you and force you into some kind of mold and then have to nerve to blame that being done on anyone else in their way.

  49. owhatever

    Fox show people would be well advised not to pick a fight with Kermit the Frog, even though the IQ of a Fox reporter is almost as high as that of a hand puppet.

  50. RadioYKWE

    I'm not sure what they are more afraid of: OWS or the Muppets. They sure seem to get riled up about both of them.

  51. RadioYKWE

    I'm glad to see you guys got to see that Chris Plante fuck. He is a right wing radio talk show host here in DC who is a pompous Obama/liberal/OWS basher devoid of any shame or humility.

  52. WilliamHTaft

    When your real-life heroes are indistinguishable from the evil-doers in childrens' books and movies, maybe it's time for some self reflection.

  53. Rotundo_

    The sweet sweet irony of this folks is THE FUCKING MUPPETS ARE OWNED BY DISNEY! LOCK STOCK AND BARREL! Disney has never been, nor will it ever be a pro socialist kind of organization. How dumb do you have to be to get a FOX gig, or is it like some sort of 24/7 parody channel where they burst out laughing at one another and say "I can't believe we're saying this shit!" and have to pull it back together during commercial breaks. These assholes can't be remotely serious about this can they?

  54. Barrelhse

    OK. Time for the FCC to explain why FOX has a license above the grade of "AM Radio Band, Sunrise-Sunset Only."

  55. comrad_darkness

    You know, this makes perfect sense. The right cares strictly about symbols. Reality can go fuck itself.

  56. mavenmaven

    Former cop Bo Dietl's "outrage" about Santa Claus in this context is illustrative. It is OK to teach children falsehoods about marketing-related mythical characters but not OK to teach them about resisting bad people.

  57. ttommyunger

    If ignorance were bliss, Faux and Friends would be in a perpetual state of ecstasy….Come to think of it, they all seem to have that blissffully ignorant look on their faces at all times.

  58. NewtsUndies

    Bland, middle of the road positions seem radical left to those in the radical right.
    Sorry if that was obvious or snarkless.

  59. CommieLibunatic

    Not to be a semantic jackass, but I heard somewhere that the "camel through a needle" is a mistranslation of "ROPE" through a needle" thanks to the two words being way too similar. Not that the meaning is lost, just something I heard on TV or the Internet (which makes it TROOF!!).

  60. flamingpdog

    All of youse need to stop blaming Wonkette and start pulling yourself up by your buttboot straps!

  61. bagofmice

    You would think that rope as a macro-thread was integral to the physical constraints described in the parable.

  62. bagofmice

    Is numeracy required to describe the amount of of snark that might penetrate and regurgitate from my face-hole? This then turns into a question of enumerating snark, upon an in and out basis. At which percentage of in and out can the gender of snark be determined? Is that one time in college enough to flip the gay-face bit?

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