‘Twas the Christmas Tree-Lighting Time at the White House last Thursday night, and this year’s theme was “Controversy and Nostalgia.” Controversy, because for the first time since the debut of Dallas, there was a new tree at the White House. (The old one got knocked down by winds or Katrina or something, and the new tree is a gay terrorist tree, from New Jersey.) Americans like their traditions, so this was a risky move, but luckily the Olds were entertained by Muppets and that Carson character from the MTV Total Request Live. Our lovely FLOTUS was the star performer, of course. She read a story with Kermit the Frog, which delighted everyone, except Malia Obama, whose life is now ruined.
Michelle Obama sat down with Kermit to read Christmas classic, “A Visit From St. Nicholas” for the children on Thursday night, and there was of course the regular dose of charming banter that we have come to expect from our FLOTUS.
“You can call me Michelle,” President Barack Obama’s better half told her new felt friend.
“That’s really nice of you,” replied Kermit. “I have to call Miss Piggy ‘Your Majesty.’”
But one member of the Obama family was apparently VERY ANNOYED by this whole thing. Hint: It was not Barack Obama. Barack Obama was very amused.
Her dad might be the leader of the free world, but 13-year-old Malia is like any other teenager and squirmed with embarrassment when her mother took to the stage with Kermit the Frog.
The President watched his wife and muppet with obvious delight, but Malia, looked frankly unimpressed at her mother’s stage appearance, even though there were performances from Black Eyed Peas and Ellie Goulding.
More likely, Malia was unimpressed by her father’s “obvious delight” with story time. Or the lack of Justin Bieber. [MSNBC/Irish Independent]
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Barack was heard muttering, "So we might as well do it now; pull off the Band-aid, eat our black eyed peas" much to Fergie's delight.
Teenagers, even when they have a president for a dad, will be teenagers. I'm surprised she didn't roll her eyes and say, "whatever."
That is exactly what I was picturing! My experience with teens is limited to my neice and nephew – either bored by everything or eating everything.
Barry was remembering when they played "Puppets"…
(I'll be back in a bit…)
Malia's comments on MyLifeIsAverage are borderline disrespectful.
There are plenty of pictures of Malia having a good time
Do you really expect her to smile 24/7?
Hun, this is the conversatard media, so of course.
Then again if she smiled all the time they'd attack her for mocking the plight of the unemployed in our nation.
No, not once the unbearable pressures of teh socialisms has gotten to her.
If I were her, I'd keep it all bottled up inside with a tight cork. So this doesn't happen again:
Or this from Limbaugh:
It's not easy being teen…
Very punny!
BARACK-A WOCKA!
My teens are barely surviving their adolescence out of the public eye. In it must be excruciating.
So now the President has endorsed frog-on-pig marriage? Santorum was right!
Q: What's green and smells like pork?
A: Kermit's fingers.
he he he….
Q: What's green and smells like shitty pork?
A: His dick.
“That’s really nice of you,” replied Kermit. “I have to call Miss Piggy ‘Your Majesty.’”
Kermit, look, you can put lipstick on a pig…
€17 for a Wash, Blow Dry & Conditioning Treatment at Salon 19, Dublin 2 (value €35)
I am so THERE!!!
Are those the Muslin Christmas colors on that tree?
nope. Socialist.
No, Kenyan.
Nope. All of them, Katie.
Once again, the conservatives have proved right when they call Michelle an uppity Ameriduh hater. They have empirical evidence that the Muppets are pinkos out to destroy our freedumbs with tyranny. Faux is all over it.
No question about it … Miss Piggy is shamelessly pink.
An event for children and Jack Black didn't show up and shove his annoying mug in every frame? Secret Service gets a bonus this year.
He's still mad at the Muppets for kidnapping him and making him do their telethon.
Hell, if the Black-Eyed Peas aren't mortified at their own performances, nobody should be mortified at anything. Or maybe she was just peeved because, like many 13-year-olds, she was trying not to be noticed, which would be pretty damn hard to do when a possel of reporters were taking your picture and pretending they knew what you were thinking.
The Black-Eyed Peas are that group you want to do well because they are so incredibly earnest and serious about their work, but who, try as they might, only produce mediocre, feel-good, safe party anthems.
"Aww dad… muppets are for LITTLE kids of boomer parents with annoying nostalgia issues…"
Funny, I thought the Muppets were for little kids of Gen X parents with annoying nostalgia issues.
Muppets are for everybody who's not aged 13-16.
And some people who are.
True … even the most jaded teener has to laugh at this routine..
Considering that "kids" with boomer parents are mostly in our 30s, that's not really the case.
Malia's problem is that she's not old enough to appreciate what the effects of hallucigens and watching The Muppet Show.
I would think the Muppets are for the ADULT kids of boomer parents.
Malia should try heavy substance abuse. The Bush girls always looked like they were having a grand time. Yelling "WOOOOO!!!" at state funerals might have been a bit much, but they are spirited young ladies full of spirits.
Why hasn't Kermit been invited to moderate a GOP debate yet? Are they saving the best for last?
Kermit has his dignity.
There's not enough "green" in the whole US of A to entice Kermit to moderate a GOP debate.
Oh please. Animal would be so much more fitting.
Why is there another debate this weekend???? And how idiotic does George Will sound about Rick Perry- even admitting his wife is paid to be an advisor(And she must be one crappy advisor given his performances). Admit it, Will, Perry is a moron!
Because he's a commie, haven't you heard?
Note that by this definition, A Christmas Carol -both Muppet and Dickens versions-are now *literally* the same thing as the Communist Manifesto. Also too the Superman comics.
'Cause Kermit, like most of the other muppets, is a filthy liberal?
On the other hand, Herman Cain asked Miss Piggy if she needs some money to uh pay the rent?
13 Year Old Embarrassed by Parents.
In other news: Chargers Plan to Win Game by Scoring More Points than Jaguars.
Why are we letting cars and jaguars on the football field?!
Its Car v. Car in this one…
(Like the Revolutionary War… British v. American)
Is water still wet, too?
In other news: Lions plan to lose game by physically stomping out all other players.
Lede: Suh crashes another car into another tree.
I'd love to meet Kermit. Kids these days don't know entertainment OR music. Now get off my lawn before I call your parents!
And I'm not gonna give you back the baseball you accidentally threw over my fence!
It's MY baseball NOW!
**turns on the sprinklers**
A little girl yawns during a Xmas story?
THE WAR AGAINST CHRISTMAS HAS GONE NU-CLEAR!!!!
Muppets, all that inner species dating. I don't care what frogs ,and pigs do in private I just don't want the kids to see it.
One-L says Kermit is free to marry any (female) frog he wants to. That's what makes America so exceptional.
If frogs, and pigs are allowed to marry it will mean the down fall of the west.Whats next Frog/Pig Adoption? Special rights for Frog/Pig couples?
But Bert and Ernie still can't marry.
There are no rules in the muppet kingdom.
So your saying Frog/Pig couples are not a choice they're born that way?
The tree came from New Jersey, I spent four years living in Hoboken and from my memory they don’t have a lot of trees to spare. This seems like a radical redistribution of trees to me.
It's OK … they promised not to take the other one.
I told you those Muppets were liberal, socialist loving toadies.
Aw, I sympathize with Malia. It's rough when you finally realize everything around you seems to be a happy facade slapped on top of a reality underpinned with want, despair, and hopelessness. Luckily, it's justa phase and she'll soon grow out o…… oh wait no, everything's fucked, even Kermit.
Malia, honey, if you think your parents are embarrasing just thank your lucky stars that Dog The Bounty Hunter is not your dad and (what's her name, boob n' nails) your mom.
Beth. I'm amazed that she can stand upright without tipping over, let alone run after crooks.
The Black Eyed Peas are a very good band. They make the kinds of musics that everybody likes. It's all about having fun and doing fun things. They do not make music about bad things that people who want to have fun do not want to hear. Like if Doritos makes a commercial with people having a fun time eating Doritos, The Black Eyed Peas would write a special song for the commercial about people having a good time eating Doritos.
I want to lick your brain.
Thank you…I think.
I just heard the expression "lama lickers"- people who come from the West(US/Europe) to visit Asian gurus
When I feel that humanity is failed, you make me smile, with your little cat on your little head.
Here's hoping she looks just as bored on November 6, 2012. "Oh great, four more years in the same room…"
She should cheer up, because if Newt wins, she's gonna have to sleep in the janitor's closet and learn to work.
Ugh. Wake me when Malia makes a sangwich outta Kermie and puts Dijon mustard on it. I mean, who does that?
The bagtards can say what they want about Obama, but he's faithful to his wife, his kids, even when being sullen, are adorable, and he pays his fucking taxes godammit.
What kind of Eid celebration is this?
Malia is a silent commando in the war against Christmas.
These people have too much class. It makes me a little uncomfortable. Someone bring back the dry drunk, his Stepford wife, and trashy daughters, please. Thanks.
I'm beginning to see where that whole "Not real Americans" thing is coming from.
I wonder how the Secret Service deals with the foot stomping, door slamming, storming out exits that happen so often at that age.
Taser.
I wish those were around when mine was that age.
Aw, look, Malia and the other one may be bored, but ol' Hopey's still a li'l kid at heart!
So they could only afford the one Muppet because of budget cutbacks or something?
yeah, they had Elmo at the Kennedy Center Honors last night. They have to parcel out the big bucks that Muppets get!
I'm looking forward to President Newtie being entertained by the muppets and then being mistaken for one of the cast when the entertainment's over.
Yeah. That stick up his ass is a dead giveaway.
Was there a mac and cheese buffet?
Full disclosure, I will be having dinner with Frank Oz and MrLimeyLizzie in NYC in a few weeks,I am very excited, he is also a Limey.
Be forewarned Frank Oz is the only known survivor of "The World's Funniest Joke".
Truly awesome- I do love the Muppets!
I've met him before and he is such a lovely man.
If this is the Dr. Oz with the daytime TV know-it-all Show, I am unimpressed. If it isn't, nevermind. In fact, nevermind anyway, I'm just a cranky old man, enjoy your luncheon.
No, Frank Oz of Muppets fame.
Thanks! Being an uninformed doofus, I'm only slightly more informed than earlier, but I appreciate the effort; I need all the help I can get.
I would spit in the soup of that Dr.Oz person, so I am glad it's not him.
"…the leader of the free world…"
What is this free world they speak of, and how much does it cost to get in?
Thirteen years old? Have you no memory, Blair? We're lucky she wasn't popping her gum or chewing her nails, fer Chrissakes.
Newt won't have any children at the White House Christmas Party. Calista will line up her cotton candy wigs on porcelain head wig stands, and the two of them will just drink booze straight out of the bottle.
They don't look like Presbyterians to me.
Not to worry, Malia – the network offers should be starting to roll in any day now.
Menomana.
Oh, Malia. You do not even know how cool Kermit the Frog is, and how cool it is that your mother gets to read with him and irreverently banter with him. You have to be an Old or Wannabe-Old to "get" the koolness of Kermit the Frog.
Kids these days are hard to impress.
I think I may have hurt something from laughing.
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