Hm. Four women in the graphic, four accusers. Do they cancel each other out?

Oh look! Herman Cain has launched an adorable purply website for the ladies where they can write in and say flattering things about their favorite sex creep. Don’t forget to include your picture, where you live and your email address while you’re at it, ladies! (Yes, the site actually asks for these things.) Herman Cain’s little black book has been getting a little thin these days!

We really have no idea what this website is supposed to prove, other than there appear to be a roughly equal number of women out there who still mysteriously think Herman Cain is not creepy compared to the “thousands” of women Herman Cain says might come forward to accuse him of sexual harassment or affairs.

But let us together randomly sift through the hilarious pick-up lines from some of his supporters!

Oh here right away we have a nice message from “Adele,” can you guess where she is from?

The moral compass in this country really scares me too. It wasn’t until I heard you speak that I felt we can get this country back on a path of respect from the world.

Correct answer: she is from Arizona! Imagine that.

“Angela” is not even convinced that Herman Cain was trying to hit on females!

I believe these “women” are looking for money and attention and have been groomed by the “Demonacrats” to be a bunch of bad actress’.

“Kim” has air-tight proof that Herman Cain could not have sexually harassed any women, because she herself has never been sexually harassed:

I am so turned off by these women who get their 5 minutes of fame – they set women back a century. They are an insult to sucessful working women. I have been successfully self employed in a male dominated industry, commercial real estate, and never once did I have a problem with any male counterpart.

And perhaps the most sage advice of all, from “Vivian”:

Remember Clarence Thomas and hang in there.

And ON AND ON AND ON. A hundred points to the first Wonketteer who gets a submission past the moderators. [Women for Herman Cain]

And here’s an improvement, via joost5 on the Tumblr:

Godfather of Love.

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  • comrad_darkness

    Satire is dead.

    • freakishlywrong

      It shares a grave with irony and humility.

    • flamingpdog

      It has to be satire – not even a stone cold crazy person could come up with the gem of a comment from Adrienne (Caos) Sinclair, California, CA.

    • LesBontemps

      Murdered in cold blood.

    • RadioYKWE

      Srsly, I thought I clicked on my "Onion" tab in my bookmarks.

      • flamingpdog

        No Onion tab in my bookmarks, but I do have one tied to my belt.

    • flamingpdog

      Now the comment from Adrienne (Caos) Sinclair, California, CA, isn't up at Hermie's website anymore. I guess she was judged too crazy even for the Women for Cain.

  • comrad_darkness

    Respect from the world would start with not electing idiots to be president.

  • memzilla

    "Women for Cain?" Too Old Testament-y. ABEL LIBEL!

    There are better sites to find wimmenz who are into BDS&M.

    • Guppy

      Or just use the campaign credit card to host a donors' party at a lesbian bondage club.

  • Barb

    I just posted over there, let's see if they allow it.
    "Herman, thank you for being there for us. Yes, I want the job!"

  • Jerri

    I don't even want to think about where those thumbs have been.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Only Herman knows for sure. He keeps a spreadsheet for that, somewhere.

      • OneDollarJuana

        Spread something, that's for sure.

      • flamingpdog

        He keeps a bedsheet for that, somewhere.


        • I b'leev some of those antibacterial scented disposable wipes would be better suited for cleaning those thumbs, pdog.

          • horsedreamer_1

            A plastic drop-cloth, like painters use, is what I was thinking.

          • That could be good for, you know, spatter. Oh, WHATTHEFUCK, for Teh Santorum!

    • HuddledMass

      Don't worry, that's a stock photo – I do not believe there any *actual* women involved in this site…

      • Geminisunmars

        Was not meant to be a factual statement. Like anything associated with Herm.

        • I keep hearing/seeing his name as "Germ" when you say that. You know, with a Spanish accent.

    • GOPCrusher

      That was my first thought. Why are these women showing the digit they used to give Herb Cain a prostate exam?

    • WunkRocker

      hey guys… Shutterstock models are swell make-believe Herman Cain endorsers – Boing Boing

      • Jerri

        Wait…you mean to tell me advertising occasionally uses stock photography?

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          The interesting bit is that the stock photo was pulled from the wimmenz-inexplicably-for-Cain page. I'm trying to imagine what's behind that move … maybe they didn't pay for it in the first place? Or it wasn't "diverse" enough, or perhaps they just reacted to the laugh factor. Sadly, we'll probably never know. (Sadly, because the truth is probably weirder and more hilarious than anything even our imaginations could come up with.)

          • Jerri

            I love when Republicans pull this move, as if everyone didn't take a screen cap the second they saw it. I hope they never figure out how to properly work the internet, because that will be the day comedy dies forever.

            And you're right. Maybe someone will write a tell-all and we'll finally get the scoop.

  • Texan_Bulldog

    All I can say is wow, these women REALLY hate Mitt Romney! Poor Mittens–a serial philanderer, sexual harasser is preferable to his magic underwear.

    • PhilippePetain

      This is probably pretty sexist, but in my experience, women always prefer handsy philanderers to buttoned up religious closet cases.

      • In their defense, at least the handsy philanderer usually *likes* Teh Laydeez. The same cannot be said of the buttoned-up religious closet cases (in fact those guys tend to really hate women, as a rule).

  • freakishlywrong

    Conservatism is a mental illness.

  • Nixon_So_Fine

    Barb, Lizzie: GET BIZZY!

    • Barb

      I did, I did! I can't wait to see if they have the ballz to post it though.

      • flamingpdog

        Mental acuity will prolly have more to do with the decision than the ballz.

    • Barb can *always* be counted on to Do The Right Thing, dood. Even before we lackadaisical layabouts suggest it. (goddammit)

  • BigDumbRedDog

    Those ladies are showing us the size of Herman's thing. Why they are so happy about it is beyond me.

    • Just happy to be the ones breaking the news, I suspect. Sisterhood, solidarity, that sort of thing.

  • I think it was our fellow Wonketeer Chet Kincaid, who once famously said: "What the fuck is this shit???"

  • SexySmurf

    What's with the quotes around women? Is "Angela" implying Herman is into into Women with Cain (if you know what I mean)?

    • hagajim

      All these wimmin – they be raising some Cain!

    • Chichikovovich

      Well, Tranuary is just around the corner.

  • Callyson

    So these women are telling us that Herman Cain's member is the size of a woman's thumb? Because that's the message I'm getting…

    • You know that old joke? Why are women so bad at math?

      I suspect some disgruntled feminist made that one up.

  • SudsMcKenzie

    "Woman for Cain"
    {White chicks only please}

    • hagajim

      Where's all the white wimmin!

    • I trashed Herman Cain pretty thoroughly for a perceived bias towards blonde white women, but with the surfacing of the story about an Egyptian woman, I rethought my position, and now that Ginger White has surfaced, I'm willing to consider him an equal-opportunity booty-grabber. I'm assuming you're a white man, so I'm gonna ask: do you think Herman Cain has a thing for white chicks? And, if he does, what's bad about that? No snark here, I'm just curious.

      • I don't know much about the rest of his life, but at the time he was running the Restaurant Assn. he was probably surrounded mostly by white women. When I worked in Washington, DC, the racial make-up of most lobbying organizations certainly didn't reflect the racial make-up of our nation's capital. I suspect he's just an equal opportunity harasser. Some of these guys see boobies and they can't contain themselves. Doesn't really matter what color they are, or in some cases even what they're attached to.

  • fartknocker

    I find it ironic that one of the fine ladies is from Dunwoody, GA. Maybe Herm can find a female supporter from Blue Balls, PA.

    I was impressed that they all seem to understand how to use the Word spell check function.

    • memzilla

      As someone who used to live near Amish Country, I can tell you that Intercourse is next to Paradise: .

      • EatsBabyDingos

        But not Beaver Dam, with their shaved beavers. That's Wiscon$in.

        • SorosBot

          But Beaver County, which has the town of Beaver as the county seat, is in PA. There also used to be Beaver College (though in the Philly suburbs, on the opposite side of the state) but they sadly changed their name.

          • EatsBabyDingos

            Seems we had a Beaver Falls sign in college, and I remember a buddy was from western PA-related?

          • SorosBot

            I think there was a Mr. Beaver that they were all named after. Oh and Beaver County is also the home of the even better named town of Big Beaver.

          • Before they changed the name I bought a tee shirt and some shorts with the Beaver College name from the bookstore online :-)

          • SorosBot

            For some reason, they always sold a hell of a lot more merchandise than normal for a small liberal arts school.

          • flamingpdog

            But the square state is the proud home of Beaver Liquors and Beaver Divers.

        • Biff

          You're forgetting Beaver Dam and Beaver Lick, both in KY. Also home to my paternal ancestors.

          • I bet you get an unholy amount of joy by telling people you're from Beaver Lick.

          • Biff

            I've been to Beaver Dam, but not Lick. I'm San Francisco born and raised, been away since '67, though. Can't afford it there anymore.

          • bagofmice

            So you're saying that a beaver dam education doesn't take you far in San Fran?

          • snackypants

            There is also a Big Bone Lick in Kentucky. Where else?

      • Callyson

        Beat me to it!
        (So to speak…)

      • Puffperney

        My former boss was from Beaver Island, Michigan and never got tired of telling childhood stories about it… …or was that childish stories about it? Cannot remember.

    • elviouslyqueer

      "Stefani" from Dunwoody's picture just screams "I am enjoying a clitoral massage courtesy of the talented tongue of my darling Yorkshire Terrier, "Butch."

    • I notice you didn't say "use […] WELL."

  • memzilla

    "A hundred points to the first Wonketteer who gets a submission past the moderators."

    Sara Benincasa, our nation turns its lonely eyes to you.

    • flamingpdog

      I asked her to do so on Facebook, but I don't think she likes me.

  • Zombie_Reagan

    Thumbs up for sexual harrassment?

    • jus_wonderin

      Trim your nails, dude!! <g>

    • No, thumbs up as in "Soon's we get our Mitts on Cain, we're gonna RAM IT, RAM IT, RAM IT, RAM IT UP HIS POOP CHUTE!"

      With apologies, unwarranted though they might be, to Mr. Frank Zappa.

  • freakishlywrong

    Kim Gash
    Kansas City, MO
    I shit you not.

    • chicken_thief

      Nuttinz bettah than MO Gash!!!

    • And she never had a problem with male counterparts. I want to see her picture before I decide if her story is plausible.

    • That just HAS to be fake. I mean, really?

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Could be related to Ginger Gash, the GOP secretary from Tennessee or somesuch place.

  • El Pinche

    "Ima Duhmbrod"
    Butfok, Texas

    Some women just don't understand a man's needs. Love is like bad weather, just brace yourself and bite the pillow . That's what makes a strong woman.

    • Texan_Bulldog

      Is that you, Clayton Williams?

      • El Pinche

        LOL..yeah, I borrowed that little gem from that disgusting dickhole.

        • Texan_Bulldog

          Ha ha…great insider Texas joke!

        • comrad_darkness

          Didn't Bobby Knight say that?

  • chascates

    Does Barry White music play on the web site?

  • north_of_moscow

    Where do you enter your measurements?

    • El Pinche

      HAHAHA! Win

    • chicken_thief

      Just write it backwards on the back of your head so it will transfer correctly onto his palm.

  • Do you think this was created by Newt's female twitter followers?

    • The ladies left their first and last names, plus where they live and a picture. The ones I googled were real. And probably already getting "just a friend" requests on Facebook.

  • Huh. Uz-Becky-Becky-Becky-Becky-stan sure doesn't look as I imagined is starting to make a little sense now, Herm.

    • HogeyeGrex

      Yeah, but who is Stan?

      • Chichikovovich

        I think it's an instruction. You know, like "Hey Becky, stan' over there where I can see your ass."

  • SayItWithWookies

    This group's membership is never going to outpace that of Women for Weiner.

    • mourningnmerica

      Women for Weiner is an anti lesbian website, isn't it?

      • SayItWithWookies

        It's inclusive — you can be a lesbian and still be pro-Weiner.

  • Barb

    " instead of buying misc $10 gifts for people I barely know anyway, I'm sending all that money to you."

    Send it straight to Ginger. She's going to get it anyway.

    • Guppy

      So you think he'll pull a John Edwards?

      • I think when his wife kicks his ass out with a resounding thump, he's not going to have too many choices about where to go.

        • I find it hard to believe that Hermie's wife hasn't been on to him for years. Many women are selectively blind. If they're getting what they want in ways besides having a devoted husband, it's a trade off they can live with. I'm sure there are some devoted husbands who actually are faithful (Bernie Sanders and Al Franken better be two of them or I'll be crushed). But most guys in DC have testosterone overload or they would be there in the first place.

  • north_of_moscow

    Why didn't John Edwards think of this?

    • chicken_thief

      He could have taken it one step further and started the "Babies for Edwards" site, too. Also.

  • freakishlywrong

    No wonder the LLHC; you've got to be hung like a wet farm animal to expose yourself to this kind of ridicule.

    • Buckminster

      Ha! turn of phrase of the day!

  • hagajim

    You all know damn well that Herman started this site so he could find new "dates" while he travels. His own personal Ashley Madison or some shit.

  • Beowoof

    Well Herman, as your ad demonstrates prostitutes are easy to find.

  • mourningnmerica

    I went there. It is a bold website.

    • Buckminster

      It's something, but "bold" is not the first word that comes to mind.

      "chutzpah" does come to mind….

  • finallyhappy

    those photos and remarks- did Ken write them all and use random internet photos??

    • fuflans


      that's a pretty sorry collection of mugshots i gotta say. and i fear old hermie prefers a higher caliber of follower if you know what i mean.

      and i think you do.

    • WootInTarnation

      I spend a fair amount of time on stock imagery sites. And I coulda sworn I'd seen the bangs-woman (This IS Herman's site, so perhaps I should rephrase her epithet: That's the lady with cute bangs, not the lady who bangs, wants to be banged, needs a good bangin', etc.) recently on iStockphoto or some such. I'm looking; if I find it I'll post it up.

      Update: Sure Enough. I should have read BBoing first. Shutterstock image is used as part of the identity graphic.

  • BlueStateLibel

    I just did my part over there, I hope all you other ladiez do the same.

    • Done!

      • Twinklesnot

        Done, also:

        Mr. Cain, don't let the naysayers get you down. Me, and thousands of women like me, are totally on your train, wherever it may go: over hill, over dale, through tunnels and travail…we are riding your train, and behind your campaign. Cain Train Campaign! We ALL want Herman to be Herman. Hope with all our hearts that you get the nomination!

        (I think it sounds sincere, and, dare I say, almost poetic, in a very terrible way?)

        • It's droolicious, in a drollicious sort of way.

    • fuflans

      i said:

      the country needs you Herman! Bill Clinton was even president for 8 years, and there is a woman in the Supreme Court, and even some congress. You should vote for the one who is right, and with the Lord, not socialist.

      i am actually quite proud of this. that will be some comfort when i get inundated with cain crapmail.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Too bad it's indistinguishable from all the other posts. Face it: it's impossible to satirize this thing. (Poe's Law strikes again.)

  • YouBetcha

    Herman Cain does not appreciate when people denounce Herman Cain's character. Also, Herman Cain would like your number so he can take you to dinner. Herman Cain is about to have a lot of free time on Herman Cain's hands.

  • RadioYKWE

    I am so turned off by these women who get their 5 minutes of fame – they set women back a century. They are an insult to women of taste. I have eaten pizza my whole life and never once have I tasted a wet cardboard with ketchup and glue gruel like the Godfather's.
    Connie Lingus
    Tampa, Fl.

  • littlebigdaddy

    Wow…that's a boatload of stupid right there!

  • Eileen Dover?

  • EatsBabyDingos

    Was CASH4GASH.COM already taken?

    • Ask Kim Gash, she'll know. (Hint: You'll find her among Mr. Cain's other female supporters.)

  • mereoblivion

    Come back, Clarence. All is forgivs.
    love, Anita

  • StarsUponThars

    Yes We Cain!

  • Kortney would have been a better illustration for the front page….

    • SudsMcKenzie

      I hope she's doing alright.

    • DaRooster

      Nah, she likes veggies and Herman knows veggies do NOT go on a man's penis pizza.

      • Besides, NO MAN can compete with that thang Kortney's lovin' on. Man with a dick that size, ain't no women fucking nobody else.

        • DaRooster

          Also, too… he would pass out from lack o' blood.

          • Oh, like the ladies would CARE as long as his manbits stayed … satisfying.

  • memzilla

    I notice the site is "paid for by Friends of Herman Cain, Inc."

    Has he told his wife yet?

    • SexySmurf

      I think that's supposed to read "Friends with Benefits of Herman Cain, Inc."

    • GOPCrusher

      Odd, that he has to fly to meet with his wife today to discuss the further direction of his campaign.

      • Check out the DailyBeast. They're dishing dirt from friends of the Cain family today, and it sounds as if Herman and Gloria Cain have had separate residences and separate lives for quite a while now. Looks like the entire "holier-than-thou, thou fornicating rutters" facade is about to do a Theater of Blood collapse around the Sperminator's ears.

  • coolhandnuke

    Took a look at the Women For Cain site. Thanks ladies for the erectile dysfunction.

  • RadioYKWE

    Fat Smug Phonies for Gingrich.
    Retards for Bachmann
    Closets for Santorum
    99%ers for Romney

    Actually, they are all interchangeable.

  • mavenmaven

    I'm going to guess that his male staff writers post most of these. I do think we should have a wonkette toast for the first sighting of the word "libunatic" in one of those posts.

    • Callyson

      his male staff writers post most of these
      Ah, the good old one handed post…

  • freakishlywrong

    Fuck these fuckwits. First, they made me ashamed of being 'Murican, now, I'm in a shame spiral for my gender.

    • RadioYKWE

      Really freak, Mary Daly is rolling in her grave.

      • freakishlywrong

        With irony.

    • comrad_darkness

      There's your problem, being capable of feeling shame.

  • I wondered why his website asked for:
    1) My measurements
    2) If I enjoy black on white porn
    3) My phone number

  • Extemporanus


    • RadioYKWE

      999 = XX

      • Extemporanus

        THEHermanCain -999p 6 women ago

        • RadioYKWE

          Check your gashboard.

          • Extemporanus


            (Profile revised accordingly.)

  • prommie

    Its the Cain Campaign's Ladies' Auxilliary!

  • SorosBot

    Now this has to be Cain going into full-on clown mode; he knows his chances of winning the nomination are finished, not that he wanted it in the first place, so now he's just trying to get attention in the funniest way possible. He's probably trying to pitch his campaign now to Jon Stewart and David Letterman, not to GOP voters.

    • YouBetcha

      I'm pretty sure it's NEA-funded performance art. He's going to shoot ping pong balls out of his asshole during the next televised debate.

      • mereoblivion

        Which will distinguish him from the other debaters . . . how?

        • YouBetcha

          It'll involve less santorum.

  • Oblios_Cap

    I have been successfully self employed in a male dominated industry, commercial real estate, and never once did I have a problem with any male counterpart.

    Since I doubt she loves her vegetables, I'm guessing her picture has replaced Kortney's on the Wonkette website.

  • Steverino247

    The times stamped on those comments, ":2:03 a.m." for example, make me very suspicious about that site. If you set up a website for women to post on and all the entries came in the early morning like that, I'd not let them know where I lived or did business.

    • Generation[redacted]

      When a woman says something nice about me at 2AM, I usually chalk it up to post-coital bliss.

      • Hmph. That's the only time a woman EVER says anything nice about me.

    • southernbeale

      I thought the same thing as well. The whole thing is so freaking weird. It further reinforces my belief that the Herman Cain campaign is an elaborate piece of performance art, worthy of Andy Kauffman.

      Seriously, there can be NO other explanation.

    • Buckminster

      2:03 a.m.? Drunk posting on Herman Cain's site? O-Really?

    • Barb

      Steve, the post were, pop, pop, pop and then radio silence for 10 hours. They all say the right thing, "I am giving you money instead of giving Christmas gifts", biblical references, etc. They all seem too excited about a candidate a year away from election time.

      • Steverino247

        And about 24 hours from calling it quits on the campaign trail, too. (It looks as though my house is safe from your clutches! Nyah, ha, ha!)

        • Barb

          That doesn't mean that I won't drop by your house any time I feel like it and eat up your salty snack foods and mess up your rumpus room.

          • flamingpdog

            Mmmm, there just might be a "Steve" in my name – if you knock on his door and nobody answers, feel free to check out my house.

          • Steverino247

            Impostor! I'll kick your ass right after I get back from the store. I need some salty snack foods and plans to build a rumpus room.

  • MrFizzy

    I guess Jerry Sandusky probably has one of these for his many young fans too.

    • mourningnmerica

      Jerry's Kids !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      • chicken_thief

        Jerry's Kids and Jerry's Kids – neither can walk right, but for different reasons.

        • snackypants

          Wow. This one left me speechless in so many ways.

  • EatsBabyDingos

    They rejected my posting. "Me next! Me next! Pat McGroin, President, Williams Steel Erection Company, Niples Florida.

  • OneDollarJuana

    Clearly, the woman at the back wants the job.

    • DaRooster

      She is too dark though.

      (For Hermie… not for me)

  • flamingpdog

    Gloria Cain is the National Chairperson for "Women for Cain" and is the very special woman who Mr. Cain devoted his life to many years ago.

    She must be special to put up with Hermie for 43 years.

  • mavenmaven

    The Newt Gingrich version of this might become a reality show.

  • prommie

    Snorgtees is back, but where is snorggirl?

    • SorosBot

      While I've seen plenty of Snorg ads elsewhere online, there's be no sign of the original Snorg girl for years now. The various new models are still cute, but there's something about the first Snorg girl I miss.

      • prommie

        The booty?

  • GeorgiaBurning

    The one in the back with two thumbs up and a big grin obviously got a lot for her $9.99.

  • elviouslyqueer

    Quoth "Yvonne Settlemire," "I am a single mom of three children and two have autism. I like what Mr Cain has to say. He the only one that wants to talk about the REAL issues. Im tired of all the side tracking of unimportant accusations by people from years and years ago. Today is what Im interested in. And the tomorrow of our country is what I want to be talked about. Im voting for Hermain Cain. Respectfully, Yvonne Settlemire "

    Dear Yvonne:

    I enjoyed your profile picture, as it appears you have chosen to explore a career in the lucrative field of pole dancing. Please flash a bit more boob and I will certainly consider you for a new position on my team.



    • chicken_thief

      /snark off/ If that post is from a real live supporter and is true, it is a classic example of how voters vote against their own self-interest – if I were her, universal affordable healthcare would be my #1 issue. But she supports a man who has vowed to repeal what little head way that was made in the past 3 yrs.

      I really want to believe that he paid someone to make that shit up because if true, it's one of the saddest comments I've ever read.

      • I'm actually hoping most of those comments are snark or paid for. Because if not, America is definitely in the process of collapse. Yesterday I read a comment from a woman who was working as a substitute teacher and had a second job at Mall Wart to help pay the bills. She was going on and on about big government and how bad it is for the country, and how she was donating money to her favoured political candidates.

        A woman who has to hold down a second job at below living wage, and makes her primary living from the government. There is nothing you can possibly say to people like that. They already have the gun loaded, cocked, and pressed against their temple.

        • Fukui_sanYesOta

          The one I remember was from a video posted here. It was one of those big teatard rallies and some guy had done a bit of gonzo reporting where he'd wander around and ask questions of people.

          The part I remember was where he was asking a woman, perhaps late 50s, perhaps early 60s whether she claimed benefits. Turned out she was on welfare, but her friend with the Gadsden flag helpfully chimed in "she has a job! she collects cans!" which sparked her into life: "Yes! I have a job. I collect cans and recycle them for the money"

          It struck me as unutterably sad. This poor woman is living on the scraps thrown to her by society and yet somehow the GOP narrative is so strong that she is an ardent supporter of the party which wants to remove any kind of social safety net; the very thing that makes her life even passably bearable.

          As you say, there is no hope for people like that, yet they vote in droves against their own interests. Does this woman think she's about to make it big in recycled can futures? I honestly do not understand the thought process.

          • I don't think it even qualifies as thought.

  • YouBetcha

    If the testimonial by "Wendy Smith" gets posed, you're welcome, America. I think it was a worthy tribute for a great man.

  • mourningnmerica

    Let's stop feeling sorry for his wife. She runs the website. So she is in on the grift. Gosh, I guess how could she not have been. I guess I'm just a little slow on the uptake.

    • mereoblivion

      The new *gotcha* question: Have you stopped feeling sorry for Herman's wife?

      • I can't stop feeling sorry for her. She never asked for any of this. She fell in love with (or was pressured into marrying) a guy she had known for about a year, maybe two, back when women didn't have much of a say about their lives, especially in the South. She's never shown any sign of ambition for anything except to be a good wife and mother and Christian, which is how she was raised. She doesn't belong in the same class as those political wives who are driven by ambition, and she certainly doesn't deserve to be treated any differently than any other publicity-shunning lady in her 60s.

    • There is no evidence whatsoever that she actually runs the site. Mrs. Cain does not look like a person who knows doodly about running a Web site. She also does not seem very happy with her hubby right now. I urge you to go read the DailyBeast story about Cain's marriage. It paints her in a pretty sympathetic light.

  • freakishlywrong

    I was really down after the 2008 election and got involved with Smart Girl Politics. I threw myself into fighting back against Obama's policies in every way I could. Letters, emails, faxes, calls…all to no avail. Then the big pushback on Obamacare and I really got into pushing back hard. I couldn't go to the huge tea party protest in Washington, and was furious when the media completely ignored it, and then Congress passed Obamacare. I left all hope for a future for our country behind.
    $1,000 this poster is a). on Medicare, b).couldn't name one of "Obama's Policies" if you jangled three Big Macs in front of her.

    • horsedreamer_1

      Even my brother, who typically blasts me for Wonkette style commentary about politics — oddly, he's not GOP supporter, though he has supported both Jesse the Body & Ron Paul — has snarked the geriatric Teasters as Medicare scooter riding freeloaders, & gone on to suggest doing what they want, taking away their scooters in the process, so theoretically, they'll shut up.

  • Callyson

    Also, I love how the exact web address is As in "whatda fuck herman cain"? Or, "who fucked herman cain?"

    • Biff

      Or "we", essentially.

  • jus_wonderin

    Ya know, the claims of these women, everyone of them (how many now 9? 10?), are bogus. I have worked in the Video Games Biz for 20 years and I have never been sexually harrassed. Of course, I work with guys so maybe that is the reason.

    But still, these claims are bogus.

    As an aside, maybe Kim is just a flat out skank that couldn't get laid if her vajajay depended on it.

  • johnnymeatworth

    "I remember arching my ass high in the air as I bent over the sauce and cheese station…."

  • FidoMcCokefiend

    "Jenny Brigham" really is sick of the mainstream MSM media's attacks on Mr. Cain. I can only hope that the moderators at that fine site, help Jenny's voice be heard.

  • coolhandnuke

    I'll wager ten bucks that none of these Cain women have ever had an orgasm or an original thought in their entire lives.

  • Terry

    If you click the Women for Cain link, it takes you to

  • Well I got this to show up, linked here. Dunno how long before they take my comment down though. (See "HOrtense")

    • Geez, apparently I went after signing up, straight to a forum and posted, not the front-page litany-o'-testimonials.

  • crybabyboehner

    Where all the white women at?

  • HogeyeGrex

    The big question is, do they have a Whore-Diamond rating system?

  • sbj1964

    It's like they say "Once you've had Black Walnut you never go back". You can't treat Herman Cain like this Herman Cain is I'M $RICH$.Where's Charlie Murphy ?

  • Not_So_Much

    Surely some Wonketteer has the skilz to push a chatroulette feed of all cocks/all the time onto this site?

  • HistoriCat

    Posted about this in the last thread. The women in the picture may not be American. And the worst part? Josh Marshall is trying to muscle in on our comedy business:

    • jus_wonderin


  • LettucePrey

    The question is, should "Camille Toe" use the Bunny Lebowski avatar… or this one?

    • mereoblivion

      Honey, yo' avatar been comin' in handy quite a while fo' little ol' me!

    • Biff

      Had NO idea who Bunny Lebowski was. Guess I should get out more.

      • SorosBot

        It's one of the two roles Tara Reid was actually good in; the other was in (the surprisingly good) Josie and the Pussycats. It's probably not a coincidence that both characters were supposed to be total air-headed morons.

    • Generation[redacted]

      Uh, I'm just gonna go find a cash machine..

  • I would like to point out that Mr. Cain has never attempted to feel me up, force me to fellate him, or carry on a 13-year affair, and I am not an unattractive woman.

    • elviouslyqueer

      Well, Ms. Coulter, dab a little more concealer over your Adam's Apple and Hermie might just come a-callin'. Better luck next time.

  • Oblios_Cap

    All those pizza sluts just love ole Herm's pepperoni.

  • teebob2000

    I have as much empathy and respect for the beliefs of these deluded women posting to his site as the next guy. But really — “Demonacrats”?? Who puts the extra "a" in there? It's either "Demonrats" or "Demoncrats".

    Stupid cunt.

    • Geminisunmars

      Can't even fling insults effectively.

  • Chichikovovich

    If Herman had been looking to spice up the ol' hoochy-coochy time (gotta prepare for the unmarried life rocketing toward him faster than you can say "Exceptionally expensive high-powered feminist divorce attorney looking for camera time") he should have emphasized the active role: canvassing for Cain, staffing phone banks for Cain, and generally going out an politicking for Cain. A natural choice for this active form would be "Caining".

    "Women who love Caining" would get some provocative responses from the poor spellers out there.

  • Hey Kim, what sort of women DO turn you on? I was thinking of dabbling in bitter lesbian porn and you sound like a star to me.

    • Is "bitter lesbian porn" anything like regular lesbian porn, or will I be disappointed?

      • It's like regular lesbian porn, but it's full of Palinesque women who hate women screaming and sobbing as they ride each other with habanero coated strapons. Think of it as PUMA group chooching. With rancid pig fat used to replace the lack of natural lubrication. Okay, I think I've now officially put way too much thought into this.

        • I can see where the habanero-coated strapons might be the cool new thing, but the rest … I'll be disappointed. (goes back to watching gay male porn)

  • Wonderthing

    My favorite was the first commenter who managed to praise him for being devine and then for "pulling himself up" by his bootstraps. And all without becoming "uppity". Like some dark brethren.

  • OneYieldRegular

    My, but this is reassuring. And here I thought the guy was sexist or had issues around women.

  • SenileAgitation

    We'll see if this from Tara Dutton makes it:
    I am sick of everyone complaining how powerful men shouldn't have the prerogatives of their power! That is the sickness today, know one wants a man to be a man! I am behind you all the way, and once you are in the White House maybe things will go back to women being women and men again! Don't quit!

  • CountryClubJihadi

    I guess I should represent my community, since he loves us soooo much.
    Yuliqa MaDeek reporting for duty.

  • Holy shit that site's a big bucket of fail. Spermin Herman needs to hire someone other than his 6 year old nephew to code that thing. And maybe invest in a free image editor. Really, it's not THAT hard to get a transparent background for your damned graphics. I know I should be snarking on the quality of the posted content rather than the container, but still . . .

  • southernbeale

    The weirdest one is Adrienne Caos Sinclair "of California CA." The word salad in her testimonial is truly Palin-worthy, and her crazy photo is just bizarre. So I Google'd her name and saw she self-published a book of Christian poetry.

    She also claims to be an ASCAP writer "best known for the song Tell It Like It Is," but if she did write a song with that title, it can't be the one made famous by Aaron Neville, that was written back in the 60s by George Davis and Lee Diamond. She also appears to have written her own bio at her Amazon page (it's that same weird word salad) but attached the name of a CNN journalist to it. So … strange delusional Herman Cain supporter gets prominently featured on his web page. How weird is that?

    I'm not trying to pick on this lady, she clearly has problems … I just wonder WTF the Cain campaign is thinking putting the ramblings of a delusional person on their "Women For Cain" page?? WTF?? I find it hard to believe any campaign would be this inept and still be treated seriously by the punditry. Oh, I forgot, it's the GOP: the political media's favorite sport.


    • horsedreamer_1

      Is she married to noted Rightwing protest singer Tom Arico?

      • southernbeale

        Heh don't know about that but you reminded me that there's a Christian singer named Stacy Arico but I don't think it's spelled the same way

  • Biff

    All these women, urging Herman not to pull out…

    • Guppy

      It would be a sin!

  • MissTaken

    I've never, not once, tasted Herman's Candy Cain of Joy and I'm not an unattractive woman. My measurements are 36-25-35 with double D's. I like walks on the beach and world peace.

    Herman, call me! 1-900-I-EAT-COK

    • Um … say, MissT, you wouldn't mind a call or ten from some *other* lonely person, wouldja?

  • LettucePrey

    Okay, "Becky Stan" just posted. Crossing fingers it gets approved…

    • DaRooster

      If they don't catch that they are morans… so you got a good shot.

  • DahBoner

    Colonel Sanders just started a website, inviting all chickens to say flattering thing to him, too!


  • Puffperney

    I will be surprised if my pseudonym "Suk M. Eoff" will make it on the site, but, I did try!

  • Ancient_Hacker

    Dear WFC Forum,

    I never thought this would happen to me, but when I saw that video of HC smiling like a crocodile, I got this funny feeling way down there. I can't wait to leave my personal info on your web site. BTW my rent is $1,400 a month.

  • rickmaci

    Thank you Herman Cain. Our national political discourse is now on a par with………………


  • chicken_thief

    I thought purple was the color of the gehz. The Hermanator better watch wtf he's doing or Dan Savage will own him like he does Santorum.

  • Nixon_So_Fine

    HAHA! Didn't see this one coming. Cain's laydeez are stock photography. Boing Boing: lulz

  • Has anyone noticed yet that Gloria Cain is supposedly leading this effort? Herman Cain claims he can't decide whether to continue with his campaign until after he's spoken to his wife when he returns home. Yet, apparently, he doesn't need to speak with her to coordinate this campaign.

    Et tu, Herman, you brute?

  • El Pinche

    Wanna bet some woman goes to the media and says she was falsely portrayed on that website? Why do I think that? Because that's so Cain.

  • DaRooster

    Sure a lot of ladies that could use some "financial assistance" apparently.

  • Redhead

    "Don’t forget to include your picture, where you live and your email address while you’re at it, ladies! (Yes, the site actually asks for these things.)"

    He can't be THAT idiotic. Right? Right???!!!!!!

    • Generation[redacted]

      Remember: you're more likely to get a response if you include a picture.

  • ColonelDoctor

    Needs more exclamation points and erroneous apostrophes.

  • RavenRant

    Unsurprisingly, the ladies pictured are not really Herman Cain supporters. It's clip art from shutterstock.

    • El Pinche

      It's a great stock photo, everyone's using it !!

      • RavenRant

        What does it say about a supposedly 'serious' campaign that they couldn't round up a handful of supporters and upload a pic in less time than it takes to buy a stock photo?

        (Assuming they actually bought it. Republican candidates often have a sketchy understanding of intellectual property rights.)

  • Barrelhse

    I know Kim and she is plum ugly. Four feet tall and 342 pounds, acne that her facial hair can't cover, clammy sweat beading and running throughout her chins, and she always smells like she just loaded her pants. She's right, though, nobody has ever harassed her sexually.


    My cousin's WIFE is on there. Picture and all. I knew my cousin was to the right of Genghis Kahn but I had no idea they supported Cain. All the more reason to delete all the bullshit email he sends me.

    I need a drink.

  • DaRooster

    1. It is Demoncrats not DemonAcrats.
    B. It is 15 minutes of fame… not 5.
    and 3. "Remember Clarence Thomas"? WTF?! You mean the guy who's wife is raising funds to defeat national healthcare while he will be one of the ones to rule against it? Why don't you just say, "Remember Herman, you to can be a slime ball and still get paid lots of money by evil folks that want to rule over the millions of broke, sick, poor people."

    • mookwrthwilson

      I thought it was Demrats, Demcraps or Demonrats…

  • Sassomatic

    Is there a thumb prick test for herpes now? Didn't know.

  • marionetta

    The photographer of the stock shot is based in Cologne, Germany.

    The models are probably German, too.

    Nein, nein, nein and nein.

  • Generation[redacted]

    So is he banging all those broads, or what?

  • fuflans

    we got: Laurie Ann "Blondie" Pruser-Stockman (round rock tx), catherine harris and darlene.

    yeah, that's about right

  • frostbitefalls

    Here's my comment for Herman. I wonder if it'll get in.

    Herman, we know all those so-called women who are accusing you are simply JEALOUS of the special relationship you have with your supporters. This web site PROVES that there are hundreds of real women who are interested in you for YOU, not for the purposes of groping or holding you up for cash or a moment in the media spotlight or whatever other sick or unethical or socialistic reasons those so-called women have. And they hate a strong black man, especially if he is a strong black REPUBLICAN man because he proves–as if proof were needed–that the real slaves are the DEMOCRAT blacks. And they, the Democrat blacks I mean, would never have the special relationship with white (and other, but especially white) women that YOU have because those kinds of relationships only thrive in the freedom that comes from being an American who loves Jesus and has battled and won cancer and has a tax plan that people can understand instead of those complicated class warfare things they do to their SLAVES the DEMOCRAT SLAVES. Without consent or anything.

  • elviouslyqueer

    "Bill Clinton was Imorral and proven….It didn't matter, He was a Democrate,,,,You, Sir are neither… Without you I will not bother to even vote. We will be stuck with Democrate and Republicrate…little or no difference, WE KNOW THE NUMBER THAT WAS PULLED ON YOU…THIS IS WHY WE ARE IN THE MESS WE ARE IN…#1 GOD #2 Family This is #3 or lower, GOD BLESS IN YOUR DECISION"

    Which raises the question, how exactly did "Terry Roagland, Falls of Rough, KY" manage to get her message to Cain through that mysterious set of tubes? The mind, it boggles.

  • Mort_Sinclair

    He really is the gift that keeps on giving, isn't he? Oh Herman! You're da man! Don't drop out, pleeezzzzzz……….

  • datateday

    "You can't claim it's a salacious scandal if they sign up to be my affair!"

  • comrad_darkness

    Wait wait! I just figured it out. Herman Cain is Chef from South Park.

    • Buckminster

      Salty balls?

  • snackypants

    Which fellow Wonketeer posted as "Debbie Stevens-Paulsen" from Tulsa, OK? Pretty great!

  • __kth__

    No one named Adele is under 90, just sayin.

  • Biff
    • Fukui_sanYesOta

      Haha, it's totally open for wonkette snark. Clay Davis just posted.

    • El Pinche

      I don't even know where to start…it's like a snark candy store.

  • ttommyunger

    Well, I for one am pasting the link on my FB. My fellow "Georgia Residents for Cain" have been strangely silent of late. I will file this deed under: "Rubbing Salt in Their Asses".

  • Buckminster

    Bet mah alter-ego "barbara overcoat" won't make the cut.

    Here's mah letter!
    "Dear Herman,

    As a rebel and a rogue who is a great fan of hunting for big game and breeding dangerous predators, I want to applaud you for your tenacious Honey Badger-like persistence in pursuing the Presidency of the United States, no matter how futile the effort becomes and the number of times you have shot your campaign squarely in the head. Bullseye, Mr. Future President. I am sure you can't screw things up any more than that intellectual, Mr. Bammers, has done. Always believe the Bible and don't listen to the silly people on sites like Wonkette. They are the Devil.

    Barbara Overcoat."

  • CheeseNPear

    The image has been replaced with one of HC and his wife, meaning someone at the campaign managed to understand the difference between "Women for Cain" and "Cain needs women", if a little too late.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    "I have been successfully self employed in a male dominated industry, commercial real estate, and never once did I have a problem with any male counterpart."

    Maybe you're real un-hot and no one wants to put their thing inside you, lady.

  • KennyCB

    The Ginger Man; or, The Herman Cain Mutiny

    This gun-toting lady says, "See!
    "I'm hot, but he never banged me!
    "It's not about race
    "If he cums on your face.
    "Ain't no one more gentlemanly!"

  • insidebeltway

    The photo is a stock photo. They could not find four women supporters that didn't look like dogs for the photo.

  • jaymay1313

    The men launched a site too. And its awesome!
    "dedicated to giving props to the ultimate ladies' man Herman Cain"

  • SaintRond

    Those letters to Herman Cain are almost lurid in their effusiveness, and so goddamn perverse I can only conclude that they have fond memories of being banged by their grandfathers.

    Every time I think I've seen it all, the Republicans come up with another whack job pervert who stands alone among whack job perverts. This crowd… Oh, God… Oh, God… Oh, God…

  • Tundra Grifter

    Herman: "You have been weighed, you have been measured, and you have been found wanton."

    Wantin' more and more and more…

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