Michele Bachmann Kindly Offers To Let Gays Get Straight Married

Just to clarify: Michele Bachmann isn't offering to let gays get married in the same way straight people do, she's offering to let gays marry people of the opposite sex if they feel the need to be able to get hitched so badly. This is how "civil rights" works, according to someone with a mail-order law degree. "[Gay people] can get married," she says, "But they abide by the same law as everyone else. They can marry a man if they're a woman. Or they can marry a woman if they're a man." So many options!

After Bachmann delivered a pandering sermon about tolerance and government protection of civil rights to a group of high school students, one thoughtful youngster managed to ask the obvious:

JANE SCHMIDT: Why can’t a man marry a man?

BACHMANN: Because that’s not the law of the land.

JANE SCHMIDT: So heterosexual couples have a privilege.

BACHMANN: No, they have the same opportunity under the law. There is no right to same-sex marriage.

God, we are too tired of this woman to even try to solve that Rubix blob of illogic except to point out that gay marriage is lawful in Iowa, where she was speaking. But not in Minnesota, which makes a pretty good legal theory for how she ended up married to Marcus Bachmann! [ HuffPo ]