CAPITALISM IS NOW A DIRTY WORD  4:05 pm December 1, 2011

Republican Strategists ‘Frightened To Death’ By #OWS Movement

by Ken Layne

There are actually other choices!While the Occupy Wall Street movement can sometimes seem to be more about tents and police and pepper spray than the crushing economic injustice in this country, Republican political operatives are having no trouble at all figuring out exactly what #OWS wants. “I’m so scared of this anti-Wall Street effort. I’m frightened to death,” top GOP strategist Frank Luntz said at the Republican Governors Association meeting in Orlando this week. “They’re having an impact on what the American people think of capitalism.” Uh oh, looks like the dupes are starting to figure out capitalism isn’t fair. The GOP better have some pat answers ready when their former stooges in the destroyed middle class start asking fancy questions about income equality!

This remarkable post at Yahoo’s The Ticket blog comes from an actual 2012 strategy session with the nation’s top GOP strategists. These people, like Frank Luntz, craft the message and narratives that are then fed to the mainstream media and turned into the “story” of the campaign season. And it’s a very nervous time for the kind of people who skim off the process of corporations putting acceptable politicians in office.

How effective has the message of #Occupy Wall Street been, in these few short months that have already shaken the corrupt foundations of America? This is how effective: Republican strategists want their candidates to quit saying “Capitalism.”

1. Don’t say ‘capitalism.’

“I’m trying to get that word removed and we’re replacing it with either ‘economic freedom’ or ‘free market,’ ” Luntz said. “The public . . . still prefers capitalism to socialism, but they think capitalism is immoral. And if we’re seen as defenders of quote, Wall Street, end quote, we’ve got a problem.”

Ho ho, you sure do have a problem! And trying to think of a vague new term that also means “capitalism” is really the least of your problems, but good to know you’re at least thinking about the general subject!

The whole post is a very enlightening read. [Yahoo News' The Ticket via @jaywbabcock]

 

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{ 191 comments }

anniegetyerfun December 1, 2011 at 4:07 pm

If only Republican strategists were ACTUALLY frightened to death.

GeorgiaBurning December 1, 2011 at 4:50 pm

It would be a messy clean-up problem, but OTOH there are professionals who take care of such things.

Nostrildamus December 1, 2011 at 5:09 pm

Actually, I'd be just fine with boiling tar.

Gleem_McShineys December 1, 2011 at 7:57 pm

Don't say 'boiling tar.'

I'm trying to get that word removed and we’re replacing it with either ‘Extreme Oil Bathing’ or ‘Petro Freedom Dipping Sauce.'

Negropolis December 2, 2011 at 12:02 am

It's a food product, essentially.

glamourdammerung December 1, 2011 at 4:07 pm

It is never about solving problems. Instead, it is always about conning morons into voting for the GOP.

/sighs

Geminisunmars December 1, 2011 at 5:46 pm

GOP = Party of Obfuscation = POO

HogeyeGrex December 1, 2011 at 6:27 pm

For them, that IS the one and only problem to solve.

glamourdammerung December 1, 2011 at 6:53 pm

It would be nice if they at least pretended to care about more than getting in office and enriching themselves with that office.

Rotundo_ December 1, 2011 at 6:30 pm

The GOP, like gigolos. like to leave 'em sticky, broke, and confused.

poncho_pilot December 1, 2011 at 4:10 pm

poor, frightened Lisa Frank! oh? Frank Luntz? who cares, then. i was worried what this might mean for unicorn folder futures.

boobookitteh December 1, 2011 at 4:10 pm

I'm going to start calling Socialism 'Economic Morality'. Thanks for the rebranding idea, jackass!

GeorgiaBurning December 1, 2011 at 4:52 pm

Start calling conservatives "reputed conservative <name here>" Reputed always sounds bad

Geminisunmars December 1, 2011 at 5:49 pm

"Self-avowed" seems to diminish credibility. And sounds suspect. i.e. A self-avowed Thespian is clearly up to no good.

starfanglednut December 1, 2011 at 11:29 pm

A self-avowed Thespian is clearly up to no good.

Yes, she may attack Michele in the bathroom.

tessiee December 1, 2011 at 10:28 pm

"Start calling conservatives "reputed conservative <name here>" Reputed always sounds bad"

So does conservative.

Serolf_Divad December 1, 2011 at 5:10 pm

Millionaire surtax —> Puppies for orphans
Single payer health insurance —> Baby Jesus with an ice-cream cone
Environmental Protection Agency —> Picture of a muscular, shirtless guy cradling a baby

anniegetyerfun December 1, 2011 at 5:28 pm

Woah, I must be ovulating because that last one really made me care about the environment for a minute.

DetectiveGrey December 1, 2011 at 4:11 pm

I guess the purpose of power really IS power. Huh.

peaceocrap December 1, 2011 at 4:12 pm

This "OWS' messages are confused and confusing" crap is transparently false. They know exactly what OWS is pissed about. I do hope they're scared.

RadioYKWE December 1, 2011 at 4:38 pm

Or the other thing they try is to put words in the OWS mouth. Like "they want to take our money" or "they hate America."

poncho_pilot December 1, 2011 at 4:12 pm

how about Capitalism Plus or 2.0? that gives you the impression they've fixed some of the problems. at least until you have to install Capitalism 2.0 Service Pack.

bureaucrap December 1, 2011 at 4:19 pm

"Capitalism with Electrolytes — it's what Robber Barons Crave!"

poncho_pilot December 1, 2011 at 4:28 pm

shhh! they're gonna make us all go to Rehabilitation.

Callyson December 1, 2011 at 4:45 pm

They tried to make me go to rehab, but I said no, no, no…

jus_wonderin December 1, 2011 at 4:36 pm

To bad Vista has been used already. Or they could make up a brand name like the drug companies do. Cialisism. Dorfkronalitic. Grunphalamin. Perfedoconodolym.

bagofmice December 1, 2011 at 4:41 pm

I was with you through Perfedocon, then you went and made a dolym. That is the kind of thing that grammar nerds just won't stand for.

tessiee December 1, 2011 at 10:30 pm

"That is the kind of thing that grammar nerds just won't stand for."

Well, that, and ending a sentence with a preposition.

poncho_pilot December 1, 2011 at 4:42 pm

douchetropophan. prozacitalism. herpetomorphicin.

Not_So_Much December 1, 2011 at 5:18 pm

Is whoredom already taken?

poncho_pilot December 1, 2011 at 5:31 pm

talk to Newt about that one.

Corrugated Palin December 1, 2011 at 5:21 pm

Enlight Software has a prior claim on the name.
http://www.gog.com/en/gamecard/capitalism_plus

poncho_pilot December 1, 2011 at 5:31 pm

Douche Bag: The Game.

swordfis December 1, 2011 at 4:13 pm

This is delicious. Does anyone remember the movie, "Island of Doomed Men," where Charles Laughton is a mad scientist who creates a race of half-animal/half-humans? And at the end, Bela Lugosi (he memorized his lines phonetically at that point, not speaking English yet) leads the charge against Laughton shouting, "We are not men, we are not beasts – we are tings!"

PuglyDoRight December 2, 2011 at 6:29 am

Remade with, I think, Marlon Brando and Michael York in "Island of Dr. Moreau"

nuketunguska December 2, 2011 at 9:42 am

Devo. That is all.

dr_giraud December 2, 2011 at 11:22 am

Island of Lost Souls: Charles Laughton, Bela Lugosi, "Are we not men?" Indeed awesome.

Island of Doomed Men stars Peter Lorre as the cruel master/owner of a private prison island. Also a metaphor for the Republican vision for Amerika.

Tengu December 1, 2011 at 4:14 pm

Yes something with 'free' in the title. What better word than 'free' to describe exactly how capitalism works?

Sassomatic December 1, 2011 at 4:22 pm

I dunno. What euphemism were they using for indentured servitude 200 years ago to convince people to move here? We could use that one.

poncho_pilot December 1, 2011 at 4:23 pm

i was told there were no cats in America.

Negropolis December 2, 2011 at 12:08 am

How about "get on the fucking boat, or we're sending your dirty, limey ass to prison."

Either that or "all the corn you can eat, and/or the native women you can rape."

Chillwaver December 1, 2011 at 4:31 pm

Republitards love anything that has "free" in it, except for "free thinking," of course.

not that Dewey December 1, 2011 at 5:37 pm

or "free health care" or "free school lunches for poor kids"

Geminisunmars December 1, 2011 at 6:06 pm

They secretly love "Free Love".

PalinzADummy December 1, 2011 at 10:28 pm

Very secretly. Hey, it's ALWAYS a secret to their wives and children!

paris biltong December 1, 2011 at 4:34 pm

Capitalism is the pursuit-of-happiness part of the equation, which used to read "life, liberty and property."

PalinzADummy December 1, 2011 at 10:27 pm

Disastrous? Exploitative? Ruinous? Gimme a few, I'm sure it'll come to me.

ShitFilledExistence December 1, 2011 at 4:15 pm

How about 'Corporate Greed Model' or simplified, 'Assholism'?

Banelm December 2, 2011 at 3:37 am

BAM! And there's the perfect counterargument!
"We need to protect the free market!"
"Ok, sure, but can we at least step away from the pure Corporate Greed Model?"
Even the most hardcore shill would flinch at that!

Joshua Norton December 1, 2011 at 4:15 pm

The GOP better have some pat answers ready when their former stooges in the destroyed middle class start asking fancy questions about income equality!

It's always been the same. Obama must make nice with Wall St. so they can continue to hate his guts and give their money to Mitt Romney.

littlebigdaddy December 1, 2011 at 4:15 pm

No don't call it "capitalism"…I like that old-timey word "speculation," and even older-timey "robber barons."

HogeyeGrex December 1, 2011 at 6:30 pm

"Chattel slavery" has a nice ring to it.

littlebigdaddy December 2, 2011 at 12:29 am

Debt peonage also.

Midway117 December 2, 2011 at 5:15 pm

"Robber barons" is so steampunk, and the kids these days like the steampunk.

littlebigdaddy December 3, 2011 at 1:05 pm

Steampunk is sexy!!!!!!!

KeepFnThatChicken December 1, 2011 at 4:16 pm

Don't know what they're afraid of. Their current president isn't siding with #OWS, and his current administration is sending in troops from the Department of Homeland Security. And fuck you, I am not bitter.

Sassomatic December 1, 2011 at 4:17 pm

The voters get upset when you say "Capitalism." Maybe they could trick the voters by just spelling it. Like when I was a kid and my dad would start d-r-i-n-k-i-n-g and running around with that w-h-o-r-e he met the last time he went to r-e-h-a-b.

jus_wonderin December 1, 2011 at 4:38 pm

I use that trick on my dog. However, she is learning to spell. Though, with the Rethugs…they won't ever catch on.

Sassomatic December 1, 2011 at 4:44 pm

I had a dog that loved Chinese food. She became unreasonably excited whenever I mentioned woks.

Chichikovovich December 1, 2011 at 5:10 pm

Your post reminded me of this passage from Bulgakov's Heart of a Dog. Best first-person account I know of a dog learning to read.

Begin quote
Why bother to leam to read when you can smell meat a mile away? If you live in Moscow, though, and if you've got an ounce of brain in your head you can't help learning to read -and without going to night-school either. There are forty-thousand dogs in Moscow and I'll bet there's not one of them so stupid he can't spell out the word 'sausage'.

Sharik had begun by learning from colours. When he was just four months old, blue-green signs started appearing all over Moscow with the letters MSFS – Moscow State Food Stores – which meant a butcher and delicatessen. I repeat that he had no need to learn his letters because he could smell the meat anyway. Once he made a bad mistake: trotting up to a bright blue shop-sign one day when the smell was drowned by car exhaust, instead of a butcher's shop he ran into the Polubizner Brothers' electrical goods store on Myasnitzkaya Street. There the brothers taught him all about insulated cable, which can be sharper than a cabman's whip. This famous occasion may be regarded as the beginning of Sharik's education. It was here on the pavement that Sharik began to realise that 'blue' doesn't always mean 'butcher', and as he squeezed his burningly painful tail between his back legs and howled, he remembered that on every butcher's shop the first letter on the left was always gold or brown, bow-legged, and looked like a toboggan.

After that the lessons were rather easier. 'A' he learned from the barber on the comer of Mokhovaya Street, followed by 'B' (there was always a policeman standing in front of the last four letters of the word). Corner shops faced with tiles always meant 'CHEESE' and the black half-moon at the beginning of the word stood for the name of their former owners 'Chichkin'; they were full of mountains of red Dutch cheeses, salesmen who hated dogs, sawdust on the floor and reeking Limburger.

If there was accordion music (which was slightly better than 'Celeste Aida'), and the place smelted of frankfurters, the first letters on the white signboards very conveniently | spelled out the word 'NOOB', which was short for 'No obscene language. No tips.' Sometimes at these places fights would break out, people would start punching each other in the face with their fists – sometimes even with napkins or boots.

If there were stale bits of ham and mandarin oranges in the window it meant a grrr . . . grrocery. If there were black bottles full of evil liquids it was . . . li-li-liquor . . . formerly Eliseyev Bros.
End quote

PalinzADummy December 1, 2011 at 10:31 pm

Sheer genius.

Lucidamente1 December 1, 2011 at 4:19 pm

It's funny, whenever I say "Frank Luntz," I immediately think "pathetic sack of shit."

ShitFilledExistence December 1, 2011 at 4:23 pm

Yeah–it's one of those 'Al Bundy' type of names.

OneDollarJuana December 1, 2011 at 4:30 pm

"Luntz" rhymes with "c*ntz".

Master Janitor V572 December 1, 2011 at 4:39 pm

And yet, an evil genius:

Estate tax = death tax
Climate change = global warming
Oil drilling = energy exploration

You have to admit that, dorky as Colbert showed him to be, he's good at what he does.

Chichikovovich December 1, 2011 at 5:30 pm

Taxing the poor = "expanding the revenue base" is another impressive fruit of his compact with Satan.

I kept hearing this phrase over and over again from Senators, Congresspeople, State Legislators and Governors …(only the Republican ones, of course) And we've all learned that whenever an idiosyncratic phrase starts popping up on every Republican's lips, it's because it's a Luntz-approved euphemism for something else.

"OK so what is this a replacement for?" Thinks I, followed by the sound of gears grinding, and then: "Jesus Murphy, those guys are shameless!"

Dashboard_Jesus December 2, 2011 at 2:20 am

".. another impressive fruit of his compact with Satan" brilliant, and spot on…Funk Luntz!

Chichikovovich December 1, 2011 at 5:33 pm

But are you sure he's responsible for "Global Warming"? I thought that one was self-inflicted by the climate science community and popularizers.

Master Janitor V572 December 1, 2011 at 5:42 pm

From the Wikipedia entry on this deep thinker:

Although Luntz later tried to distance himself from the Bush administration policy, it was his idea that administration communications reframe "global warming" as "climate change" since "climate change" was thought to sound less severe. Luntz has since said that he is not responsible for what the Bush administration did after that time. Though he now believes humans have contributed to global warming, he maintains that the science was in fact incomplete, and his recommendation sound, at the time he made it.

In a 2002 memo to PresidentGeorge W. Bush titled "The Environment: A Cleaner, Safer, Healthier America", obtained by the Environmental Working Group, Luntz wrote: "The scientific debate is closing [against us] but not yet closed. There is still a window of opportunity to challenge the science….Voters believe that there is no consensus about global warming within the scientific community. Should the public come to believe that the scientific issues are settled, their views about global warming will change accordingly. Therefore, you need to continue to make the lack of scientific certainty a primary issue in the debate, and defer to scientists and other experts in the field."

Dashboard_Jesus December 2, 2011 at 2:22 am

"There is still a window of opportunity to challenge the science….Voters believe that there is no consensus about global warming within the scientific community." …and THIS is why the rest of the world hates US (among other things)

Schmannnity December 1, 2011 at 4:56 pm

I always think: worst haircut on a male older than 7.

Not_So_Much December 1, 2011 at 5:21 pm

I always think of this, more flattering, picture of him: http://bit.ly/viZOcb

coolhandnuke December 1, 2011 at 4:20 pm

Does GordonGeckoism work?

OneYieldRegular December 1, 2011 at 4:20 pm

If any of these geniuses actually read Marx instead of just blabbing about how evil he was they might not be so surprised that capitalism is coming in for criticism.

SayItWithWookies December 1, 2011 at 4:50 pm

Hell, if any of 'em read Adam Smith they'd know that laissez-faire capitalism that they're advocating today was scorned by their idol.

OneYieldRegular December 1, 2011 at 6:17 pm

You had me at "Hell, if any of 'em read."

Tommy1733 December 1, 2011 at 4:20 pm

And don't say "Pepper spray" say "vegetable spray".

Generation[redacted] December 1, 2011 at 4:24 pm

food product spray – feed the poor!

superdave December 1, 2011 at 4:20 pm

Stop saying Capitalism?!? What are they, commie pinko bastards?

actor212 December 1, 2011 at 4:20 pm

Frank, those aren't soiled panties that you're sitting in. It's pre-composted fertilizer.

SorosBot December 1, 2011 at 4:21 pm

If you don't want to be seen as the defenders of Wall Street, maybe you should stop defending Wall Street.

BaldarTFlagass December 1, 2011 at 4:21 pm
BigDumbRedDog December 1, 2011 at 4:22 pm

If you're so frightened to death than why don't you just do us all a favor and die already?

SayItWithWookies December 1, 2011 at 4:22 pm

See, Luntz, you start letting greed do its dance of the seven veils all over the place and throwing money at it while it's waltzing over the vast majority of consumers, then sooner or later it's just running around bare-assed and screaming insane bullshit. This isn't Friday night at some lesbo-porn fantasy strip club on the GOP's dime — that shit's ugly and the more people see it, the less they like.

Negropolis December 2, 2011 at 12:37 am

See, Luntz, you start letting greed do its dance of the seven veils all over the place and throwing money at it while it's waltzing over the vast majority of consumers, then sooner or later it's just running around bare-assed and screaming insane bullshit

ROTFLMAO! The visual of this is just absolutely priceless.

paris biltong December 1, 2011 at 4:23 pm

They should be scared.
Here in France, which has a conservative government, no one in their right mind would ever try and defend "le capitalisme". A reported 75 percent of the population doesn't trust the free market system. Only Americans and people in the former communist countries think capitalism works, which it admittedly does, for some of them.

Master Janitor V572 December 1, 2011 at 4:42 pm

Heard it said that the French refer to "Anglo-Saxon capitalism" as a particularly awful example of the breed. Hard to disagree. But even the Brits and Canuckistanis have meaningful safety nets for those capitalism throws off thepyramid.

SexySmurf December 1, 2011 at 4:23 pm

To improve its image, capitalism should start offering $5 hot wings; that seemed to work for Domino's Pizza.

Goonemeritus December 1, 2011 at 4:24 pm

Now they just need figure how they can reframe every single piece of legislation having to do with the economy that they championed for the last 30 years. Perhaps they can call a Mulligan and remind the voters that investment bankers our just regular folk like you and me.

Chichikovovich December 1, 2011 at 5:35 pm

In fact, they're twice the people we are. Since many of them have self-incorporated for tax reasons, and as we all know, corporations are people too.

BigDumbRedDog December 1, 2011 at 4:24 pm

Frank Luntz. Isn't that a character on the Simpsons?

SayItWithWookies December 1, 2011 at 4:52 pm

I keep thinking of Lutz on 30 Rock.

prommie December 2, 2011 at 9:53 am

Ha-ha.

nonbeliever7 December 2, 2011 at 11:04 am

I never seen them in the same room together..

bureaucrap December 1, 2011 at 4:25 pm

That's part of the capitalist creed — if you re-label it, nobody will know (at least for a little while) that you're peddling the same old s#!t.

Perhaps the best way to be not be seen as defenders of wall street is to actually substantively not defend wall street. Have ya thought about that, Frank?

BaldarTFlagass December 1, 2011 at 4:25 pm

"And if we’re seen as defenders of quote, Wall Street, end quote, we’ve got a problem.”

Well, dude, you guys are defenders of "quote, Wall Street, end quote," so I guess what you're saying is that you are going to have to lie and resort to subterfuge? I can't believe that the Republicans would ever consider doing such a thing!!!

OneDollarJuana December 1, 2011 at 4:25 pm

God, I hope that's tomorrow. I'm chilly!

poncho_pilot December 1, 2011 at 4:26 pm

"it's economic freedom, essentially."

Native_of_SL_UT December 1, 2011 at 4:26 pm

Now if I could just figure out how to exercise my "economic freedom" by "freeing" some of Luntz' bank account into mine…

chascates December 1, 2011 at 4:26 pm

Advocates of capitalism are very apt to appeal to the sacred principles of liberty, which are embodied in one maxim: The fortunate must not be restrained in the exercise of tyranny over the unfortunate.
–Bertrand Russell

Generation[redacted] December 1, 2011 at 4:27 pm

Economic freedom is slavery.
Class warfare is peace.
Ignorance is getting the nomination in 2012.

tessiee December 1, 2011 at 10:42 pm

It's only class warfare when *we* do it. When *they* do it, it's cute.

prommie December 1, 2011 at 4:27 pm

I was forced to take a course in high school (mandatory to graduate in Florida) called "Americanism vs. Communism," which we called "AVC." That poster of the people tormented by the flames of communism while being tortured by Soviet Devils always reminds me of that course. We were taught that the people of the Soviet Union walked around all day, every day, in a state of abject misery and despair, that the sun never shined, and people never smiled, that they ate only one-half of a moldy old beet every 6 months, and were constantly being tried in kangaroo courts and sent to Siberia for failing to display sufficient genuine enthusiasm during communist rallies and celebrations. Communism smelled like old boiled cabbage, and there were never any sneakers in the department stores. People were not allowed to own their own stuff, nothing at all, not even a toothbrush, and their world was still in black and white, because it was never colorized, as our world was when color TV came out in the 1950s. And everyone sounded like Boris Badanov.

chascates December 1, 2011 at 4:32 pm

And as I recall the propaganda at the time all Soviet and Eastern European women were presented as being huge, lumbering ugly hulks. When democracy made its way into Poland and other places the videos of actual people shown protesting proved we'd been lied to all along. Good looking women, as good as any American stock, were actually alive and well under the boot of Communism!

RadioYKWE December 1, 2011 at 4:40 pm

Oh yes, the velvet revolution.

bagofmice December 1, 2011 at 4:53 pm

Insert fabric pounding pun here.

Biff December 1, 2011 at 6:39 pm

When I saw my first picture of Veruschka I knew I'd been lied to, and wondered what else they were hiding from me…

Master Janitor V572 December 1, 2011 at 4:47 pm

And that the Soviet Union was one giant monolith, from Vladivostok to Pyongyang, from to East Berlin to Zagreb, of seething envious anger towards and dedicated to the destruction of the US, capitalism, and freedom.

We weren't even lucky enough to have special classes like this — it was baked into every year of "social studies."

prommie December 1, 2011 at 5:12 pm

Oh, yes, we were taught that they thirsted for our blood, because they weren't just commies, they were "godless" commies, something akin to demons and devils, and they were out to burn down our churches.

Chichikovovich December 1, 2011 at 5:47 pm

100% True facts: In 1972 there was a huge hockey series between Canada and the USSR. Canada won with a goal in the final two minutes of the final game. No Canadian over the age of six years old at the time fails to remember where they were when Paul Henderson scored that goal. One reason why it was such a big deal to us kids is that we all played hockey like our lives depended on it and we were amazed at how good they all were. So we learned all about where the players came from, what their home clubs were (magical names like "Moscow Dynamo", "Spartak Moscow", "Wings of the Soviet"…). And so we learned – these guys were from Russia, this guy from Latvia, this one from Ukraine, etc.

Our school library had a copy of an American book on WWII that had an anecdote about American soldiers that it presented completely without irony or self-awareness: Some GI's told the story of meeting some soldiers of the Red Army "and whenever we called them Russians, they said loudly that they were Georgians". The textbook added helpfully: "This is like someone from the US saying "I'm not an American, I'm from Kansas."

I was so staggered by that, I've never forgotten it.

Biff December 1, 2011 at 7:04 pm

I was visiting Victoria in 1963, Labour Day, I think it was, and went to the harbour to see a bunch of Russki ships. we were even allowed below decks on a submarine. They had pieces of cardboard covering the sensitive electronics. The Soviet sailors were very professional and courteous, unlike the godless heathens we in USAmerica were led to believe them to be.

tessiee December 1, 2011 at 10:44 pm

"Mom! Dad! They shot Mittens!"
"Those BASTARDS!!"

BaldarTFlagass December 1, 2011 at 4:49 pm

Well, everything is just hunky dory over there now, right?

Dashboard Buddha December 1, 2011 at 5:23 pm

Yep…I had to take that class back in the 70s, although I thought it was called Capitalism vs. Communism.

Negropolis December 2, 2011 at 12:44 am

Shit, dude, when did you go to school? lol I can't even remember being taught anything about Russia in high school, let alone that propoganda.

I did, however, go to a private shcool (don't even ask) where the teacher put a loaded question on a final exam where you were supposed to pick which system Jesus would support, and then explain your answer. I gave a righteous, well-written short essay, but was marked down to a B because I apparently chose the wrong one despite a pretty clear example that the early church was nothing short of a hippie commune. lol

NorbertsRevenge December 2, 2011 at 10:11 am

I'll always remember a filmstrip ("at the tone, advance to the next frame!") which we were forced to watch in Geography class — its title was something close to: "MOSCOW: SEA OF HUMAN MISERY"

zappadoo76 December 2, 2011 at 12:30 pm

I remember when the Berlin Wall came down. I was expecting to see people coming across from East Berlin in seedy old overcoats and galoshes. What I saw instead was a bunch of well-dressed people pushing their kids in high-end strollers. What should I trust? My lying eyes or Arthur Koestler?

Negropolis December 2, 2011 at 10:36 pm

I saw a lot of people in tacky, 80s-era blue jeans. lol

Joshua Norton December 1, 2011 at 4:28 pm

1. Don’t say ‘capitalism.’

"The trouble with capitalism is capitalists; they're too damn greedy."

- Herbert Hoover (of all people)

Negropolis December 2, 2011 at 12:48 am

That must have come out of his Department of Self Unawares.

zappadoo76 December 2, 2011 at 12:47 pm

Hoover was wrong. Capitalism would still stagger from crisis to crisis even if capitalists were altruists who just wanted to meet their payroll.

BarackMyWorld December 1, 2011 at 4:29 pm

#OWS supporters 'frightened to death' by Republican policies.

Schmannnity December 1, 2011 at 4:30 pm

Frank Lunzt is the leading Sophist of the Conservakook Right and proof that they saved some of Goebbels sperm.

elviouslyqueer December 1, 2011 at 4:30 pm

"And if we’re seen as defenders of quote, Wall Street untrammeled greed, rampant corruption, unbelievable arrogance, and rampant motherfuckery, end quote, we’ve got a problem.”

There Francine. Fixed that for you, darling.

Chillwaver December 1, 2011 at 4:30 pm

"Don’t say ‘capitalism'"

And while you are at it, please stop using (misusing, actually) the word "Liberal"?

actor212 December 1, 2011 at 4:31 pm

No no! Luntz wants them to call it "Jesusnomics"

bureaucrap December 1, 2011 at 4:42 pm

HMWJC (How Much would Jesus Charge?).

bagofmice December 1, 2011 at 4:48 pm

Wine for the wanting!

actor212 December 1, 2011 at 5:09 pm

"This is my body. Take. Eat. Do this in memory of me…also, that'll be five dollars."

Negropolis December 2, 2011 at 12:34 am

Oh boy, you could make so much money off that phrase. You don't even know. Also, Christometrics. Also.

OneDollarJuana December 1, 2011 at 4:31 pm

The only thing "free" about this "free market" is that the Wall Street criminals are getting of scot-"free".

jus_wonderin December 1, 2011 at 4:51 pm

I could give them some scrot free.

Lionel[redacted]Esq December 1, 2011 at 4:32 pm

Professional gamblers at least gamble with their own money.

poncho_pilot December 1, 2011 at 4:38 pm

good point. i haven't found a word that means that exact same thing…

bagofmice December 1, 2011 at 4:44 pm

Leverage.

ShaveTheWhales December 1, 2011 at 6:21 pm

Confidence man.

tessiee December 1, 2011 at 10:32 pm

Well, "grifter", but that's already got a specific connotation.

Streiffert December 1, 2011 at 4:32 pm

Let's take a cue from the 1960s. But not from the fun people in the 60s, but from the horn-rimmed glasses wearing, shirt buttoned up to your adam's apple, pants cinched just under your ribcage, crew. (Yes, I know that look is cool today…) When they cry "Economic Freedom!" We'll respond "You can't have freedom without responsibility!"

cheetojeebus December 1, 2011 at 4:48 pm

"and quit running around at night chasing every bitch dog in heat. Your mother worries about you and frankly I'm sick of this shit, I sweat blood……."

SheriffRoscoe December 1, 2011 at 4:34 pm

Corporations are people. Can we still say that?

Lionel[redacted]Esq December 1, 2011 at 4:34 pm

This all started when the GOP rebranded "Screwing the Poor" to "Capitalism" in the first place.

Eve8Apples December 1, 2011 at 4:37 pm

You can put lipstick and earrings on capitalism and call her "economic freedom," but it is still an economic system that allows rich elites to screw over the working masses.

Callyson December 1, 2011 at 4:40 pm

"If you talk about raising taxes on the rich," the public responds favorably, Luntz cautioned. But "if you talk about government taking the money from hardworking Americans, the public says no. Taxing, the public will say yes."
Here's one clue, my dear Republicans…
Hardworking Americans =/= the rich. Hardworking Americans = the 99%.
Any questions?

Lionel[redacted]Esq December 1, 2011 at 4:41 pm

Other possible new names for Capitalism (to keep it popular):

Big Breasted Economics

Fair and Balanced Economics

Jobcreatorism

PizzaPussySantaism (because everyone likes at least one of those, right [hat tip Dave Attel.])

Hookernomics

Fuckthepooronomics.

RadioYKWE December 1, 2011 at 4:49 pm

It's right there in the Constitution, see it? 100% Capitalism all the time.

coolhandnuke December 1, 2011 at 4:49 pm

Frank, would you like greedom fries with that order?

Negropolis December 2, 2011 at 12:53 am

Yes, and a Diet Koch.

Zing!

memzilla December 1, 2011 at 4:50 pm

Finally, Ken posts something that doesn't make us want to head full-speed into the nearest bridge abutment. Truly, it's the Holiday Season*!

[*Holidays are packed by weight, not volume. Contents may have settled during shipping. Other charges may apply. May cause drowsiness, irritability, incontinence, or high blood pressure. Contact your health provider before changing or increasing your holidays.]

Master Janitor V572 December 1, 2011 at 4:51 pm

Ha ha, they "think" capitalism is immoral…if they knew a goddamn thing about capitalism they'd know that, like any economic system, it is of course immoral. Capitalism just evolved; it has no founding documents or intellectual basis, only loyal sycophants and suckups like Frank Luntz and Milton Friedman and Ayn Rand and Alan Greenspan who come along later and try to sugar coat the ugly truth with clever language.

RadioYKWE December 1, 2011 at 4:54 pm

Like I just said V, it's right there in the Constitution. Just like the Christianity part.

Master Janitor V572 December 1, 2011 at 4:56 pm

This Luntzism is particularly scary:

Luntz advised that if they give their employees an income boost during the holiday season, they should never refer to it as a "bonus."
"If you give out a bonus at a time of financial hardship, you're going to make people angry. It's 'pay for performance.'"

Chichikovovich December 1, 2011 at 5:57 pm

Frankly, I welcome that one. When we start reading about huge financial concerns going bankrupt through sheer incompetence, with the executives receiving a "pay for performance" of hundreds of millions just before they parachute from the company hurdling into the abyss. Enough stories like that and I expect Luntz will be looking for a new way to hide the facts.

Negropolis December 2, 2011 at 12:54 am

Pay for performance, eh? So bankers are a bunch of hookers, right?

elviouslyqueer December 1, 2011 at 4:54 pm

Oh Jesus Krispy Kremes on a Rusty Unicycle, this shit, also, from Luntz:

"First off, here are three words [to use when engaging Occupiers]: 'I get it.' . . . 'I get that you're angry. I get that you've seen inequality. I get that you want to fix the system." Then, he instructed, offer Republican solutions to the problem.

For example, solutions like telling Occupiers to get a bath, get a job, and get the fuck out of their face.

jus_wonderin December 1, 2011 at 5:07 pm

Nudging them with your E Class or giving them the "Benz", as it has been termed, is on his list too, isn't it?

Numbat_Dundee December 1, 2011 at 5:23 pm

Or more friendly advice like: "Sell the widows, put the rest into diesel powered nuns".

Biff December 1, 2011 at 7:12 pm

I don't understand it, but I like it!

RadioYKWE December 1, 2011 at 4:56 pm

I've been saying this for months: Me thinks thou doth protest too much.

NowTheyTellMe December 1, 2011 at 5:03 pm

"Hmmm. … Out of bread … BRING ON THE CIRCUS!"

Guppy December 1, 2011 at 5:04 pm

No no no, capitalism itself is amoral. It's the executives and the brokers that are immoral.

ingloriousbytch December 1, 2011 at 5:04 pm

Haven't you heard? OWS's fifteen minutes is up. They were up right after those hippies went home because it got cold and nobody knew what their message was.

*blink*

*blink*

SHARIA LAW!! (runs away)

lochnessmonster December 1, 2011 at 5:04 pm

When I look at Luntz (usually because he's on cspan-don't seek him out) I see a weasel.

Negropolis December 2, 2011 at 12:57 am

Weasel libel. Seriously, this guy is too fucky fat to be a weasel. This man is a disheveled humunculus.

Nostrildamus December 1, 2011 at 5:11 pm

And you know what rhymes with Luntz?

Ayn Rand Paul Tard December 1, 2011 at 5:12 pm

Another bully, Nelson Muntz.

Angry_Marmot December 1, 2011 at 6:23 pm

Cunning little runts?

JackObin December 1, 2011 at 5:17 pm

I'm frightened to death by stupidity.

Numbat_Dundee December 1, 2011 at 5:19 pm

The first attempt at an English translation of the Communist Manifesto reportedly began: "There is a hobgoblin haunting Europe…" Ithink a hobgoblin is haunting the Republican Party – appropriate, given they live in a cartoon universe.

SpiderCrab December 1, 2011 at 5:21 pm

Don't say "GOP strategist Frank Luntz". Say "Deceitful sack of smegma" Frank Luntz".

Infrogmation December 2, 2011 at 2:30 pm

Smegma libel!

Biff December 1, 2011 at 5:26 pm

From this day forward, I shall no longer refer to Frank Luntz as a giant douche, but rather as a huge vaginal enema.
See? It works!

mavenmaven December 1, 2011 at 5:28 pm

Their supporters don't like Capitalism anymore. They are much more into "Religion-based Fascism".

actor212 December 1, 2011 at 5:28 pm

Republican Strategists ‘Frightened To Death’ By #OWS Bowel Movement

Fixed that for ya, Ken.

mereoblivion December 1, 2011 at 5:30 pm

Don't say "capitalism." Say "Megan Fox's ass."

jus_wonderin December 1, 2011 at 5:38 pm

Or, "Lindsay Lohan's Will Power"?

hagajim December 1, 2011 at 5:36 pm

Luntz….rhymes with cunts, which is pretty much what the Repugs are, at least when they aren't being greasy skidmarks on the bowl of society!

GeneralTapioca December 1, 2011 at 5:41 pm

But when Luntz says "scared", what does he really mean? Everything is codewords and catchphrases with this ass-hat.

He actually means "giddy with anticipation" at being paid gobs of money by the GOP so they can keep pushing the same policies but using different language.

How about sociopath-economics?

smitallica December 1, 2011 at 5:46 pm

I had to very patiently explain to a right-wing friend of mine that no one has a problem with people being rich, per se. They have a problem with the rich buying politicians to rig the game and make themselves richer. I explained it as I would to a child. And what I got back was "Class warfare!! Anti-capitalism!! THEY HATE AMERICA!!"

So I just stopped talking and wept into my beer, softly, softly.

sati_demise December 3, 2011 at 1:12 pm

Tears always take the nice foamy head off my beer. I do not recommend mixing the two.

Fawkdifiknow December 1, 2011 at 5:48 pm

Needs moar Das Kapital.

__kth__ December 1, 2011 at 6:05 pm

The way you can tell Frank Luntz is lying is when his lips are moving. So if he says he's afraid that OWS is shaking our national faith in free enterprise, he's really giddy with the prospect of painting Ben Nelson and Dianne Feinstein as socialist radicals.

ttommyunger December 1, 2011 at 6:13 pm

I'm trying to think of another term for "Frank Luntz". How about: "Unprincipled Dickwad?".

dadanarchist December 1, 2011 at 6:46 pm

If only #OWS were that scary.

I for one would love to see some heads on pikes.

datateday December 1, 2011 at 7:07 pm

Frank Luntz may just have another total meltdown if he reads this next statement: Nobody gives a shit what your mouth-breathers in your sample surveys have to say.

tessiee December 1, 2011 at 10:35 pm

“They’re having an impact on what the American people think of capitalism.”

Yeah, the preceding decades of disappearing jobs, transfer of wealth, and shrinking real incomes had gone *totally unnoticed by everyone* until OWS had to go pointing it out.

This is what's known as "blaming the thermometer for the temperature".

tessiee December 1, 2011 at 10:41 pm

Shorter: Oh noes!! The sheeple are getting slightly harder to fool!! Time to think up a new name for our bullshit!

Negropolis December 1, 2011 at 11:53 pm

“I’m so scared of this anti-Wall Street effort. I’m frightened to death,” top GOP strategist Frank Luntz said

As well you should be, Mr. Luntz; as well you should be. If liberals attempting to compromise with your ilk wasn't scary enough, well, now you see what it looks like when we demand things with rightfully righteous indignation. This is just the beginning.

Mr. Luntz, you are truly this generation's Lee Atwater.

Suck My Balls December 2, 2011 at 3:15 am

1. Don't say 'Republican' or 'Conservative.'

2. Say 'Fascist.'

3. Profit!

3. Walk it back!

Dumbedup December 2, 2011 at 10:49 am

See, it's like this; capitalism is like salt. A little salt makes food better, more salt still tastes good, but is bad for you. Yet more salt tastes disgusting, and more than that pretty quickly kills you. That's where our version of capitalism is now, between disgusting and fatal.

mereoblivion December 2, 2011 at 11:43 am

Best economic analysis since Jane Smiley's little essay a couple years back (and even shorter)! http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jane-smiley/other-e

sati_demise December 3, 2011 at 1:16 pm

Keep on, Luntz. You know how most smart people stopped watching commercials a while back? 'Rebranding' is losing the effect it used to have. We fast forward through all that crap now.
You become obsolete when all the physical evidence can no longer be ignored.

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