Uh-oh, why is John McCain insulting 9/11? Don’t tell us our favorite celebrity political couple John McCain and 9/11 have finally broken up! (Calm down, Lindsey Graham, that is not actually what happened.) No, John McCain jokingly insulted Long Island during a Senate debate by saying that it is “regrettably” part of America, and Chuck Schumer freaked out but could not think of one single nice thing about Long Island to say in its defense on Twitter except that there were people heroically inhabiting Long Island when 9/11 happened. This more or less proves the Walnuts point correct (hooray, he finally got one right after 19 million years in the Senate!), but no way did the fun stop there.
First Walnuts went back to the Senate floor and fished in his senile old person brain for a nice old-timey thing to say in apology to Long Island and turned up the inexplicable choice of calling it “wonderful.” But mostly this was setup for A LITTLE BIT OF REVENGE, via NY Daily News:
“I’m sorry there’s at least one of my colleagues that can’t take a joke, and so I apologize if I offended him and hope that someday he will have a sense of humor,” McCain said.
So WAR, obviously, and Schumer went straight back to Twitter:
We did laugh at that one, for being true. Oh these two, such a comedy duo! Once again Lindsey Graham feels jealous and abandoned. And, oh yeah, look out, Al Franken! [NY Daily News]
{ 101 comments }
When he is going to apologize for unleashing Palin upon us?
And an assist on Miche1e, once Panamanian strongman Juan McCain demonstrated that conservatards would vote for the purdy one.
I SO want to believe in karma for his having done that.
What? You can't take a joke?
I think you mean "I'm sorry you can't take a joke."
I am sure he doesn't realize he did that…
Tony and Vito are gonna have a little "tawk" with Senator Walnuts McCain (R-Asshattery).
Tony – Ya know John..can I call ya John? Well John, you got a nice senate here. I'd hate to see anything bad happen to it.
"Hey, China. You know that money we owe you? We don't owe it no more."
I hope it involves percussive moves with bats of hardwood or metal.
McCain crashed and burned with that joke.
That would make it crash #6 or 7?
At least he didn't take a whole fucking aircraft carrier with him this time.
A hero of the former North Vietnamese Airforce he can only claim 5 victories against the imperialist American Navy. But the Forrestal was the pinnacle of his achievements on behalf of a grateful Vietnamese people.
Meh… Won't be the last time
Will they be here all week?
… shit they'll be here for years
Dear Walnuts:
The usual advice to wannabe comics (e.g., "Don't quit your day job") DOES NOT APPLY HERE. Now dodder back off to your clown car, you geriatric shitstain.
EQ
Explain it again, please: these people are in charge of what?
Our shiny new fascist police state! For Satan, and 9/11.
Those two — the balding one and that other guy. Are they still bickering about which one Mom liked best?
"Oh yeah… one more thing: I'm glad you changed your last name, you son of a bitch! "
When is Walnutz going to apologize for not letting Megs throw some tittay our way….no really, when is he going to apologize for the existence of the entire state of Arizona from Jan Brewer to Sherriff Joe, to fucking Jared Loughner to Timothy McVeigh. Jesus! The more I think about it the more I think Arizona might just be America's poopstain!
You can blame Christian terrorist Timothy McVeigh for many things, but he was born in Lockport, NY. McVeigh did, however, aspire to buy property in Kingman, so he was definitely one of them.
But McCain being in the Senate is a joke about how stupid folks in Arizona are.
Laughter hurts sometimes.
Why is it that the stupidest states in the Union have names beginning with "A"? Arizona, Alaska, Arkansas, Alabama, and Texas.
As someone who, technically, lives on Long Island, I don't have a problem with McCain saying what he did.
After all, I regret that Arizona is part of the country.
Frank Luntz has already rebranded "joke about Long Island" as "co-humoral comment about water-blessed America."
While Abbott & Costello work on their comedy circle jerk, the number of unemployed, underemployed, homeless, uninsured, stressed out and bankrupt Americans continue to rise. Nero fiddles while Rome burns.
First corporations were people, now Long Island is a person and deserves an apology. I say no apologies until they form a PAC!
PACs are people too, my friend.
People libel!!!
So Schumer is going to take McCain for a ride in the weeds now? Will he leave the gun and take the cannoli?
Old John McCain was just trying out some of the delicious humor from his new movie "Die Hard IV, Revenge of the Walnutz."
O/T, but I just realized that anyone interviewing for a jerb should use all of Frank Luntz's rebranding phrases.
"Thank you, Mr. Job Creator, I look forward to protecting economic freedom by helping take the burden of excessive Federal regulation off of your shoulders. After all, we're just a couple of hard-working taxpayers, right?"
Although these phrases appear quite lame coming off the twitter machine,
they are HI-larious as they unspool off the teletype.
Technology has destroyed Real Humor.
And then Senator Dow Jones was all like, "Hey Walnuts, yo mama is so old, she gave birth to John McCain."
He is John McCain of the clan McCain,born in 1456 on the shores of Loc Finn. And he cannot die! There can be only one!
He's been unstoppable since he absorbed Robert Bird's power.
Long Island Lolita versus Alice. I say Alice gets shot in the face at Mel's Diner.
Insulting Arizona would be too easy as they give so much to work with. Including McCain himself and his dang fence. Jan Brewer's brain fart, starting the parade of republican brain freezes, the immigration law, allowing people to carry guns in bars (What could possibly go wrong)? Private for profit prisons that need lots of poor brown people to fill them up. Ah yes way too much and way too easy to make fun of.
Arizona's most noble inhabitant is a toad that squirts blood out of its eyes. You're halfway there, Senator McCain!
Yet their official state reptile is the ridge-nosed rattlesnake. Fuckers are protected, even from gun-totin' Arizonans.
Toad = not reptile.
Hey, someone had to be a fucking know-it-all.
Yes, of course they are an amphibean, and I'm glad it was you that got to school me.
Do I get to mete out the punishment as well?
Lawn Guyland Libel!
~
I mostly resent that drooling old fool for his worthless progeny. I saw Megan McCain on MSNBC (ugh) talking about how smart and personable Michele Bachmann was, in her interview. Take me now, lord.
ALERT!! Arizona Wonketteers !!!!!!!
Our asshattery is being impugnerated by LOOSERS from Long Fucking Island and others of their ILK!!!!!
Joint me in shouding from you're abode trailers that: WE DON"T GIVE AFLYING FUCK!!!!!!!!!
"Our asshattery is being impugnerated"
Silly Blue. You can't get impugnerated if you Do It in the asshat.
Is the "Sen" in Walnuts' Twatter account short for "Senile"?
Essentially, yes.
Essentially, he's a vegetable.
Guys please, don't let your pissing contest get to the point of any nude photos.
Thanks, America
Long Island shouldn't be part of America?? Christ on a pick, I mean, how much more American can you get than Long Island?
Cost us 24 bucks, for chrissake.
Walnuts and Wrinkle-nuts, whogivesafuck? I'm betting David Brooks is fapping his little goober senseless about being on top of Olivia Munn "au naturel".
Today we all (well, those of us so inclined) want to be on top of Olivia Munn "au naturel"
Fap,fap,fap!
I hope it's okay if I steal that "regrettably" zinger.
So Cindy McCain says, "I got off the pills and booze… regrettably."
Ha ha. Pure gold.
I'm LOLing out loud!
Hey! No recursing!!
How dare McCain insult all the job creators living in the Hamptons?!
John McCain hates America!
Congress is so dysfunctional and uber-wingnutty that I think we're only a few election cycles away from Al-Qaeda being a viable 3rd party.
Perhaps it's time for the return of Emperor Norton? http://www.rotten.com/library/bio/royalty/america...
I'm with McCain on this one.
“I’m sorry there’s at least one of my colleagues that can’t take a joke, and so I apologize if I offended him and hope that someday he will have a sense of humor,” McCain said.
Wasn't this part of Walnut's acceptance speech at the 2008 Republican convention?
Or was this from the press conference when he announced that Sarah Palin would be his running mate?
I know, I know…All of 'em, Katie…
And then Rudy Guiliani was all, like, "Step off, bitches, 9/11 is my comedy routine."
Game recognizes game.
Is this good news for John McCain?
No.
THIS IS GREAT NEWS! FOR JOHN MCCAIN!
The only good thing about Long Island is that the WESTERN part of the ISLAND itself is Brooklyn.
I guess to McCain, the only part of NYC that's part of the United States would be The Bronx.
For just about any Republican, the only parts of New York that are a part of "real America" have a sprawling view of Central Park.
Queens County Libel!
And by the way, it's pronounced "Long Guyland"
Isn't that "lawn guyland?"
Why is it that I know so many little children who are more eons more mature than my political representatives?
Possibly because in order to go into politics, you have to be an immature self-obsessed crybaby to begin with?
No, you see, Walnuts is an old Navy man, and he's alot like that old guy in Jaws. He hates LI because of those big fucking sharks! Henngghh! And also: Hobbits!!!!!!
It's like the movie Grumpy Old Men except with Twitter, and high polished Senate seats, and all that jazz.
"Chuck Schumer freaked out but could not think of one single nice thing about Long Island" maybe he should have mentioned that Long Island produced a large chunk of the naval aircraft that flew off of Walnut's beloved aircraft carriers. But then you get into that political hypocrisy/irony thing.
*raises hand hesitantly*
Um… Long Island Ice Teas are *kind* of nice.
Chuck Schumer? On one hand, he got hair transplant plugs years ago. On the other hand, he got perfect 800s on his SATs.
Can always count on Walnuts to make some idiotic snarky joke and then get all butthurt when someone call him an asshat. Remember "bombbombbombbombbomb Iran"?
This is a record for using the word "asshat" in a Wonkette thread, I think. Your comment makes like five or six uses. (Of course, this is an entirely unscientific survey.)
That's because Walnuts is setting new records for acting like an asshat. LOL.
"…Long Island during a Senate debate by saying that it is “regrettably” part of America…"
Probably, like most of us with the way things are… they are regretting it.
Scarily, this is the most productive thing either has done in the Senate all year.
McCain has been sticking it to Arizona for quite some time now.
This was the most substantive debate in the Senate in close to a generation.
did the Palin's recently purchase property up there?
Schumer just cold breaks out the 9/11 card, unprovoked. Damn, boy is hitting hard, today. That said, fucker needs to grow a sense of humor.
Juan is correct. Long Island is a needless, redneck appendage of New York. It's like the New Jersey of New York.
This is very confusing.
McCain = Emma Sullivan
Long Island = Sam Brownback
Chuck Schumer = The principal
??
Also, why does David Brooks look like he just sat on Kortney's cucumber?
McCain can suck my South Fork.
Shit got real!
As long as Schumer can apologize for the excessive blowout haircuts, unnatural tans, and popped collars of his many L.I. denizen/constituents?
http://getoffourisland.com/index.html
Regrettably, Long Island is where Bill O'Reilly is from, so yeah, McCain does have a point.
I'm sorry sir, but our $2.99 Grand Slam breakfast promotion ended some time ago..
HENNNNG?
Yes, I've been bad…</Bud Bundy voice>
Perfect! Bend over, sweetie.
Comments on this entry are closed.