PSA  6:46 pm November 29, 2011

Take a Moment To Help Defeat the Senate’s Internet Censorship Nonsense (Thing Will Pop Up, Don’t Be Alarmed)

by Wonkette Jr.

Does this widget thing work? If not, click here! Do it now! (Or in the morning.)

This is a part of an effort of a coalition of sites and groups all over the internet. And the chorus of opposition is growing every day — the NYTimes, LATimes, and even Microsoft have come out against SOPA because of the momentum you helped create.

The Senate is going to try to pass their internet censorship bill between now and Christmas, and they could take it up as early as this week. Take action today, and if you have a website, blog, or Tumblr page, embed our call widget in your site!

Let’s make history together.  –Tiffiniy Cheng, Fight for the Future

Click here to join the big call-in day!

 

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

{ 63 comments }

jdoleman November 29, 2011 at 6:49 pm

I've heard they already passed the censorship bill, it happened thanks to @@@@@@@ and @@@@ @@@@@@@
(this post has been edited by the office for a responsible internet )

nounverb911 November 29, 2011 at 6:53 pm

"The Senate is going to try to pass their internet censorship bill between now and Christmas,"
What about the f**king jobs they promised?

Beowoof November 29, 2011 at 7:31 pm

Well they will need to employ more trolls to work Huffington Post so there is that.

DoktorThompson November 29, 2011 at 7:45 pm

War is peace. Freedom is slavery. Not creating jobs is creating jobs.

Suck My Balls November 30, 2011 at 3:18 am

The Republican jobs plan will come to full fruition when we all start working for the clampdown.

Barb November 29, 2011 at 6:56 pm

I'd like to see Boehner try to pass a cocktail lounge between now and Christmas.

EatsBabyDingos November 29, 2011 at 8:26 pm

I'd like to see him pass a three pound kidney stone. Slowly.

poncho_pilot November 30, 2011 at 3:19 am

had a job in a medical records department ages ago. got to see pictures like these every day. i think Boehner deserves something like this being that he is kind of like a congressional equivalent to a kidney stone.
http://www.herringlab.com/photos/

Biff November 30, 2011 at 9:07 am

Oh for fuck's sake, how did that staple get in there? Ow! I get uric acid stones, I know from ow…

edgydrifter November 29, 2011 at 6:58 pm

Step 1: Censor Internet
Step 3: Jobs!

DerrickWildcat November 29, 2011 at 7:15 pm

I was alarmed!
That thing just downloaded my brain thoughts.

littlebigdaddy November 29, 2011 at 10:35 pm

Did you catch teh retard?

Callyson November 29, 2011 at 7:19 pm

Thing Will Pop Up, Don’t Be Alarmed
Isn't that what Herman Cain said?

emmelemm November 30, 2011 at 12:48 am

Zing!

Good one.

GOPCrusher November 30, 2011 at 5:07 pm

He's a job creator!

RadiosTyrone November 29, 2011 at 7:23 pm

Don't worry everybody, I'm sure the SCOTUS will overturn this legislation, right after they disembowel Obamacare.

BaldarTFlagass November 29, 2011 at 7:30 pm

I'm a little leery of clicking on that on my home computer (I'm right in the middle of Neal Stephenson's new novel, might explain that), so I will wait and do it on my work computer tomorrow. Oh shit, I just remembered I'll be in meetings all day and no daytime Wonkette! Fuck!

Indiepalin November 29, 2011 at 7:51 pm

Is it easier to read than the "trilogy" 'cause I've had those fuckers for seven years and it's only now that I'm down to the last six hundred pages of "System of the World"?

BaldarTFlagass November 29, 2011 at 9:41 pm

Actually, it's an incredibly easy read. No flights off into cryptography theory or non-Euclidean digital whatsis, just story story story. I hate putting it down.

starfanglednut November 29, 2011 at 10:26 pm

Is it as good as snowcrash?

littlebigdaddy November 29, 2011 at 10:36 pm

Or a Hermie Cain blowjob?

BaldarTFlagass November 30, 2011 at 2:21 pm

It's been over 10 years since I read Snowcrash, but as I recall it, this one is "better." I think it's going to replace Cryptonomicon as my new favorite by him. Especially after wading through the density that was Anathem.

memzilla November 29, 2011 at 10:36 pm

Just use your senators' and congressman's contact pages at house.gov and senate.gov. Make it not look like a form letter (feel free to copy mine below, however).

As you reside in a certain southern "state" (and I use the term loosely), rather than prefacing your letter with "Dear Creationist Asshat" or "Dear Slave to the Extraction Lobby," I would work in a line about how SOPA would allow Mooslin Keenyun Soshlist Terrists to shut down the websites of Rush Limbaugh, Faux News, Glenn Beck, and Pat Robertson.

memzilla November 29, 2011 at 10:41 pm

And if you're looking to do anything other than read for the next several days, for heaven's sake, do not read 11/22/63.

BaldarTFlagass November 30, 2011 at 8:52 am

How serendipitous. I just got back from picking that up at the library. Is it that bad? Or that bad if you paid 35 bucks for it, not so bad if you can read it for free?

RadiosTyrone November 29, 2011 at 7:35 pm

There is also one other important piece of pro-growth, job stimulation legislation Congress needs to pass before their recess: Dismantling the NLRB.
Merry Fucking Christmas America!

GOPCrusher November 30, 2011 at 5:10 pm

It's amazing how these cretins are holding the entire American economy and population hostage, in the hopes of dismantling every piece of legislation passed since 1932.

Blueb4sunrise November 29, 2011 at 7:37 pm

Dear Senators McCain and Kyl,

You are both so full of shit
You have sucked for so long

Somebody help me out here.

fuflans November 29, 2011 at 8:20 pm

#heblowsalot

yyyaz November 30, 2011 at 1:01 am

Seriously. What's the fucking point? We know exactly how they are going to vote and just the idea of speaking with anyone who would voluntarily associate with these whores raises my blood pressure to 600. The only thing that keeps me sane some days is having Grijalva for my congresscritter.

plinkleton November 29, 2011 at 7:52 pm

sorry but it's too dangerous, if you sign those things all you get is telephone spam and eMail spam. it looks too much like a spam trap, I want absolute assurance I won't be spammed

GhostBuggy November 29, 2011 at 11:22 pm

Well, there's spam, egg, sausage and spam. That's not got much spam in it.

Sharkey November 30, 2011 at 12:17 am

"Don't Be Alarmed" isn't enough for you?

poncho_pilot November 30, 2011 at 3:22 am

but it says "don't panic" in large friendly letters.

mrblifil November 29, 2011 at 7:56 pm

This will all go away once people realize their access to free porn is in danger.

littlebigdaddy November 29, 2011 at 8:32 pm

Specifically, free tranny porn!

JackDempsey1 November 29, 2011 at 8:02 pm

"Let’s make history together. –Tiffiniy Cheng, Fight for the Future"

You guys can sign that thing if you want to,
but be forewarned that your "leader," Ms. Cheng, has grown a third "i."

Dashboard Buddha November 29, 2011 at 8:05 pm

I've already been hectoring my senators.

Come here a minute November 29, 2011 at 8:07 pm

No more alarming than getting a face full of pepper spray.

Ms_Anthrope November 29, 2011 at 8:12 pm

Wait….Isn't Microsoft a corporation? Aren't they commanding their own cogresscritters to kill this thing?

littlebigdaddy November 29, 2011 at 8:32 pm

But how can you censor a series of tubes?

KenLayIsAlive November 29, 2011 at 9:07 pm

I might consider allowing the Senate to clog the inter tubes, if they promise to use the dead bodies of senators to do so.

Fukui_sanYesOta November 29, 2011 at 9:35 pm

You run a huge truckload of stupid into them.

sati_demise November 29, 2011 at 9:55 pm

Damnit. We can never have anything nice.

deanbooth November 29, 2011 at 10:09 pm

When that thing popped up, I jumped out of my chair and unplugged my computer. I was afraid you could see me.*

* My mom's reaction on getting her first AOL IM.

ttommyunger November 29, 2011 at 10:17 pm

Moveon.org already sent me the link to sign a petition against this about three hours ago. I signed and forwarded the email to my list and I've already heard back from my sister and her husband that they have also signed up. I don't do much, but I do what I can.

memzilla November 29, 2011 at 10:24 pm

Sorry, I don't do popups. I did, however, email the following to my senators and congressman:

Please fight to kill SOPA, the Internet Censorship Act. There is no need to put the power to shut down the Internet into anyone's hands in our country. We don't need to even *look* like we're prepared to do what Mubarak and Khaddafi did. I can't think of an issue you have taken a stand on that I did not think was a good one. Please take a stand on this. Thanks for your time and efforts.

See? Simple, direct, a little schmooze, and not a form letter.

datateday November 29, 2011 at 10:40 pm

Darn it, I should of read in the parenthesis – now I feel morally culpable for turning the shit on my screen off within 3 seconds…

pinkocommi November 30, 2011 at 12:04 am

"(Thing Will Pop Up, Don’t Be Alarmed)"

Funny. That's the tattoo I've been urging my husband to get on his … oh, nevermind.

Sharkey November 30, 2011 at 12:35 am

Don't forget, we can always just build another Somethingnet that Congress can't control.

Suck My Balls November 30, 2011 at 3:09 am

It's just a bunch of tubes anyway, right?

Rhyscurrency November 30, 2011 at 12:43 am

I just sent them my letter. I say we try and nudge the teaparty's attention in the direction of this issue, and hope they get all riled up and start writing, phoning and making our senator's lives an even bigger hell. If they can be lead to interpret it as a sort of danger to their online communication, then maybe they'll just take off and run with this thing.

SayItWithWookies November 30, 2011 at 12:50 am

Wait, you can't censor the internet — it's a person.

DerrickWildcat November 30, 2011 at 2:03 am

My Uncle Louie was right. The internet IS just a fad.

Come here a minute November 30, 2011 at 7:22 am

My cranky Uncle Wonkette (Ken) told me to shut down my interwebz, so I guess we should be saying no to Big Popup, and yes to Big Gubmint. Yay, flip the Kill Switch! Rick Perry would love to be in charge of this — switch flipping is his favorite Gubernatorial Duty.

Bluestatelibel November 30, 2011 at 8:12 am

How the Grinch stole the Intertubes.

Rhyscurrency December 3, 2011 at 10:11 pm

This shit is way beyond lame, its downright criminall the way they think they can just take our freedoms away left and right, without our consent. Im saying its straight up bullshit. Were being duped. I hope the levy breaks soon cause this nonsense is just through the roof.

memzilla November 30, 2011 at 9:02 am

Quite the contrary. The two sentences which will never be used together on this earth:

1. I'm gonna get to sleep early tonight.
2. I just got the new Stephen King novel.

ttommyunger November 30, 2011 at 2:02 pm

THANKS! EFF Rules!

BaldarTFlagass November 30, 2011 at 2:19 pm

I went back and read your post, this time for comprehension. I got it, this time.

jus_wonderin December 1, 2011 at 7:46 am

Memzee, I want to get that one. Can you report back as to how good it is???

starfanglednut November 30, 2011 at 3:36 pm

I shall have to get it then, I loved Snowcrash.

GOPCrusher November 30, 2011 at 5:13 pm

teapartynation.org

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