Sooper jenius Rick Perry has finally stumbled on the secret to a 2012 victory! He invited a town hall audience in New Hampshire to make sure to vote for him on November 12, a week after the sucky November 6 presidential election nobody is enthusiastic about anyway, and when no one else will even be running anymore! Oh man, he’s got this one so locked up. And now see if you can spot Boozy Suzy’s other critical system error from the very same sentence: “Those of you that will be 21 by November the 12th, I ask for your support and your vote. Those of you who won’t be, work hard.” Because there better not be any underage drinking going on at the polls! Everyone else, get as drunk as possible as Rick Perry, so that you accidentally vote for him in his fictional election. It’s all part of his brilliant plan.
The dwindling patch of functioning neurons in Rick Perry’s brain have even managed to compute that people may still want a few reasons to vote for him, so he also threw up this exciting offer to voters in the same town hall:
Speaking of illegal immigrants arrested for non-violent crimes, Perry said, “My policy will be to detain and deport every illegal alien who is apprehended in this country.”
Or, put another way using the magic of synonyms, he will detain everyone who is detained! See, it’s like he is keeping his campaign promises already.
God, Rick Perry, you are not required to get wasted every time you speak in public. [Boston Globe]
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When did they raise the voting age back to 21?
The 18-20 demographic would have totally put this guy over the top! (At least in College Station.)
Well, they didn't even tell the slaves about the Emancipation Proclamation until Juneteenth, 1865, so maybe the kids down here these days don't know they're eligible to vote.
At first, Rick Perry's stupidity was amusing. Now it's getting annoying.
One sentence two mistakes. He is raising the bar for the others.
Sadly, I think most of them are more than up for the challenge…
This is not our universe's Rick Perry. In the parallel universe this guy is from, elections happen on the second Tuesday in November and there is no 26th Amendment to the Constitution.
He's going to bring back leaded gasoline, too!
I think the evidence is in, Rick has been sniffing the leaded gasoline.
Right after they repealed the Twenty-Sixth Amendment, which they did alongside all the other amendments after the Twelfth or so.
My students would argue that this is the perfect reason to drop the drinking age to 18. Clearly there is a bumblefuck between the two requirements.
Where's my free Randy Travis?
Between Cain, Perry, Bachmann, and Newt, there hasn't been this big a race to the bottom since the stern of the Titanic chased its own bow.
**rimshot**
This is good news for Rick Santorum!
(Because he's a bottom, get it?)
W.O.W.
The mind, she boggles.
Even the "illegals" know when election day is and they don't even get to vote.
Or … do they??
Damn you ACORN!
But, I thought that was how Obama got elected? Because no self-respecting American would ever vote for a darkie.
I can't wait till the darkies outnumber the whiteys. What will the whiteys say then? When most of America is different shades of brown, many of them with one or more white parents, what the fuck will these racist swine say then?
"One way ticket to Sweden please."
HAHAHAHAHA!!! Wait till they find out Sweden is not only Teh Dredded Soshulismist, but also full of Teh Mooselumps.
Remember kids, don’t drink and vote!
*shows picture of President George W Bush*
*screams*
*fainting*
*vomit*
*crying*
By the time you're drunk enough to vote for Perry, you're going to have a very hard time getting to the polls. Strategy FAIL.
Perry is still in the race?
Only until all the black wimmins start comin' out in droves and lying their lying lies about how he groped them and shoved their faces into his crotch.
"We're going to take a little trip to N*ggerhead," is how Rick tried to woo soul sisters.
Yeah, "wimmins" aren't really Perry's style, if you catch the meaning of my drift.
Little boys are somehow more reluctant to come forward?
Venality and rapacity define the contours of Rick Perry's facial map. His ostensible stupidity has got to mask a truckload of hidden shit.
You do mean the human race, don't you? If so, the answer is "no."
The stupid is strong in this one!
Nobody under the age of 21 will be able to satisfy the new voter requirements with their student ID, or be able to afford the new poll tax Republicans will have in place by November.
So, work hard!
I think you mean "nobody under the age of 65."
Of course, they could always get absentee ballots…
That means Rick's already planning on competing in the 2012 season of Dancing with the Stars. Assuming he can find a star, of course.
His new bff, Sheriff Joe Arpaio, will be his dance partner.
Well, Sol is only 8 light-minutes away.
He will be all by himself on "Dancing With the Lone Star"
Oh, well played, sir.
Well the policy of deporting and detaining every illegal alien is better than ICE's current policy of also detaining legal aliens and citizens.
Is it possible Gov. Perry is a plant?
I don't mean a secret Democratic operative.
I mean a leafy green stalk with roots and requires a considerable amount of water – yet refuses to get up and get it when thirsty.
Could be — although plants have the good sense to dig for water when they need it — Rick, the dumbass, prays for rain.
Next time, he should pray for "brain."
He don't spell so good, neither.
bingo
if we were getting more specific, i'd categorize him as a vegetable.
/schiavo'd
My 13-13-13 plan will sync up the voting, drinking and age of consent so it'll all fit on a postcard and you can shrink government.
Legalize roofies and you got teh libertardian vote locked up.
I love the sexy libertardian look!
Wilcoxyz/Jerry Lee Lewis 2012!!!
"Those of you who won’t be, work hard.”
Jokes on you, Rick. None of them youngsters have jobs, so they'll all be taking drugs, having sex, and Occupying someplace or other.
Rick has a cunning plan. How can he be beaten if he has a special election for those only 21 and over? Take that Obama. Who cares about your birth certificate when you are not even running in the right election!
He may be cunning, but he's no linguist.
He's campaigning with Sheriff Joe!
He'll take it hard when someone has to explain to him that there is no such thing as a 'Vice Candidate to the Candidate'.
I was wondering about the strange pairing of Sheriff and Gov. Rick on Sheer InSannity's radio show.
Apparently Perry is seeking some anti-immigrant, border fence cred.
Why, I have no idea.
Poor Rick, he is going to be so embarrassed when Sean Hannity, Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck repeat this over and over on their shows.
Great, now I'm going to have "Rick the Magic Honky" playing in my head all day.
When the obviously well-educated Kristin asked if we could find the second error, I spotted it immediately: using "that" for people rather than "who." That's almost stylistic, I thought. Kristen is getting awfully picky, esp. for something out of the mouth of a certifiable nincompoop who . . . the "oops" is mine this time. He doesn't realize the franchise was extended many years ago to include those 18 years and older, except for the Mexicans, who never can vote. Exceptions are made, however, for old Cubans.
Along with the lowering of the voting age, the whole age of majority thing changed in 1971. Kinda took the wind out of my mother's sails, right before she died, because she was suppressing my ability to get a driver's license, arbitrarily, because my oldest brother had died in a car crash. I think she actually died of sadness because she no longer had any control over me. Ha.
Wow. Your mother sounds almost as bad as mine. Was she short, plump, and dark? Did she mysteriously disappear for hours, days, or weeks on end?
She was tall, oh so white, and we couldn't GET her to leave the house. She would line up and beat 6 kids in order to guilt a confession out of the one she thought did the deed, had me arrested and hauled off, etc. Don't mind me, I get nostalgic for the good old days this time of year…
Welp, that definitely wasn't MY mother. But HER mother used to do the same thing, line up all the kids and beat them senseless till the guilty party confessed. No wonder none of them ever went home once they escaped.
I don't like your mother about as much as I don't like mine. She sounds utterly rotten. Glad you survived, though, and I promise not to remind you of her no more. When we were kids, we used to refer to our mother as "The Bitch of Bergen-Belsen." She finally popped her clogs a few years ago, after needling me to the very last. I had her cremated. It's gonna be a LOT warmer than THAT where she ends up, assuming there's any truth to those old stories.
From the news spots I've seen on this so far, Kristin's the only one also too who noted Rick Purrah said the wrong Election Day date. Or maybe they're just all trying to pretend like yes, yes! that's right! Election Day IS Nov. 12, not Nov. 6 at all!
Everyone knows voting day is the second Monday in November, right? Republican voters – please take note.
Brian Williams, NBC news and frequent Daily Show guest, mentioned it on last night's news cast. Williams has perfected that wonderful smirk that says "What an asshole!" while reading the news in a very non-partisian tone.
He was looking at that special Mayan Messican end of the world calendar.
Okay, so did the people of Texas know he was an imbecile before they elected him Goobenator – three times!?
In Texas the ballots are labeled differently. Instead of Governor, it says "Goober." This was part of the big redistricting fight a few years ago and the results speak for themselves.
To teh people off the Grate State of Texas, Rik am so smart!
You live here in Oklahoma and you have to ask?
lol I know. I swear the ballots here get re-stamped Straight Party GOP as soon as you poke 'em into the machine.
After W. left for the White House, Rick Perry was the mostest smart guy left in the state.
I'd like to think those fine hospitals and tech companies and colleges in that benighted state have a sufficiency of employees that are much smarter than Rick Purry. It's either that or suspect the state is in the business of recycling all them corpses that are the end product of hospital visits.
Being stupid – IOKIYAR.
Isn't that officer supposed to turn his head and cough when "Dr" Perry grabs his nads?
Don't vote early and often; vote later and never.
If 6 was 12.. And 21 was 18.
Funny numberz.
We don't need your atheist devil's math when we have KJAV!
If God wanted us to have mathematics, He wouldn't have made Moses so bad at it!
IQ test: What is the next number in this sequence?
6 12 21 18 ____
Answer: 999
This is part of the Republican test to choose the VP candidate for 2012. Next week: the history section.
Before I go vote on November 12, I need to know who Joe the Plumber is endorsing so I'll know what to do.
His endorsement is coming down the pipes, and will leak out before November 12th.
There's a Santorum joke in there somewhere.
Don't you mean "Santorum's a joke in there, somewhere"? I can't believe this year's crop of eejits. Each is worse than the last. Kill me now.
Back to watching bad Korean horror movies.
My eyes are funny first thing in the morning. I read that as "bad Koran horror movies".
Also, a cat is doing surrogate typing for me by sitting on my hands.
I'm in favor of all Republicans getting out and voting on November 12. In fact, they should vote on that date every year.
See, it's just the usual GOP plan to mis-inform likely Democrat voters, but Perry got confused and thought Nov 12th is the real date.
"God, Rick Perry, you are not required to get wasted every time you speak in public."
It is required that I be wasted in order to listen to this giant waste of carbon based molecules. That is a lot of waste. I better get started.
I must be wasted. I read that as "you are not required to get watered …"
Hey, this was my tip! I'm KBJ's cabana boy.
Good job. Now bring her something cold and something hot! And don't be stingy.
It's in November and it's the first Tuesday, after the first Monday, after the first Tuesday that Wimpy pays Popeye for the hamburger…mmmm….let's see, that makes it, well, umm, these maths are so hard…
You can just see the little wheels in his head turning as that exact screed scrolls across the screen. But the hamster fell off one of those wheels and is now lying, quite dead, in a tiny pool of hamster fur and blood as the other wheels mesh and occasionally catch, grinding the poor little hamster into its constituent atoms.
Rick Perry's mind is a terrible thing, and wasted.
Who fed crap into the telly prompter? Oh yeah, that's right, Rick Perry don't need no telly prompter! (Except when he does.)
Srsly, every single one of these asshole Republican candidates would benefit from a teleprompter. One that fed them actual facts.
Haven't seen that video loop of Perry stroking that old guy's hair on the way to a handshake in a long time. Please use before Perry leaves the race. Thx.
Hey, calm down, everybody: Perry knows that November is the twelfth month, so he wants everyone to vote on 12/12/12; and of course 21 is 12 backwards; and I have got to stop with the Jägermeister and Red Bull at lunch.
Since no one has come forward to claim the One Million Dollars offered for proof of Little Ricky's infidelity and since he is obviously too dumb to master the complex art of jerking off, and since his wife seems way to smart to be actually fucking him; I have decided his problem is "White Outs"… All that backed-up jism in his system is crowding his walnut-size brain. You're welcome.
Won't show up on xrays or CT-scans, so let's go in for the biopsy using some of these. Be sure to wear your mask and safety glasses.
Coming up on This Old House: Use common tools to relieve a White Out Situation.
Which one for which hole, though? Oh fuck it, “All of them, Katie!”
Pfft, amateur. Just use this guy.
"no one has come forward to claim the One Million Dollars offered for proof of Little Ricky's infidelity"
No slut, hooker or rent boy wants to publicly admit to screwin' someone so stupid.
I can certainly understand that.
A typical Rick Perry thought progression:
The mind is a terrible thing to waste.To be wasted is, to my mind, a terrible thing.A wasted mind is a terrible thingMy mind, a terrible thing, is wasted.It would be a terrible waste if I had a mind.
I made a different version of this, but I like yours better.
It's nice and all, but I'm just not going to be as excited about the country's first "special" President as I was the first black one.
I'll get excited about our country's first special president when he and Dick Cheney are indicted for war crimes.
It's been really nice in Austin with Rick and Anita out of town. Maybe Rick and Anita you should spend a lovely Fall and Winter in New Hampshire.
What a fucking duffus.
OT, it seems Princess Grifter is raising her ugly head with another "look at me, look at me" commercial that will be playing in Iowa tomorrow:
http://www.mediaite.com/online/new-political-ad-i...
She'll sharpening her high heels right now, getting ready to enter the race.
I would like that one minute of my life back, please and thanks. Oh, and a bottle of not-shitty Merlot to drown out that incessant, batshit nasal whine.
Oh goody! Like I needed another excuse to drink to unconciousness.
just kill me now.
Only if you promise to kill me at the same time. Why should YOU get off easy? As Bishop Romney said to a Mormon mother in his stake who was at risk of dying as a result of her pregnancy and had opted for an abortion to save her worthless life.
Wouldn't it be a better world if Romney would just be satisfied with being Stake Preznit…
I'll bring the stake if you'll hold Mittens down. I promise to pound it right through the little black hole where his heart oughta be.
Malignant narcissism is a terrible thing to waste.
There is still a children's book to get pooped out and sold if I am remembering right. Why not waste a little *election* money to push it? These books don't just sell themselves. Just in time to torment a child for Christmas along with a package of moose jerky.
I so miss Palin fucking with the GOP "Biggest Loser" game…errrr…primary. It's not much fun with Gingrich at the top. He is such a vortex of negativity, spite, and hubris that he takes the fun out of damn-near everything.
True. A giant leeching suckmeister of Teh Happy, that one. Evil little man.
Oh yeah? Well at least Rick Perry isn't out there speaking Austrian to dead corpsemen in all 57 states and singing happy birthday to Elvis on the date of his death and taking calls from people supporting Charles Manson for president. So there!
I have such a good retort for that. Where's my teleprompter???
11-12-12…let's see….he's running for president of the Maya apocalypse? Needz moar human sacrifice.
Couldn't find enough virgins…
I suspect we'll get PLENTY of human sacrifice if we ever let this sad sack motherfucker within pressing reach of that little red button.
Rick Perry, huh? Needs moar hordes of lying liar women lying about how he shoved their faces into his crotch and had 13-year-long affairs with them.
Is Larry Flynt's bounty still in effect?
Needs moar hordes of lying liar
womenhunky, sweaty, Messican illegal yardboys culled from the Capitol groundcrew lying about how he shoved their faces into his crotch and had 13-year-long affairs with them./fixed
I'm sick and tired of these unpatriotic, corrupt Republican operatives doing everything they possibly can to mislead voters and prevent them from exercising the franchise. Why won't Rick Perry let people vote for Rick Perry? It's downright un-American, if you ask me.
Come back, Herman Cain! Please. A stupid fornicator is better than a complete idiot.
"A stupid fornicator is better than a complete idiot. "
Unless that person is a dumb fucker.
They and their partners are both fucking idiots.
Sheriff Arpaio polishes the turd that was the Governor's erroneous date/ voting age: "Perry's (the only candidate out there) got his boots on the ground right now."
Cue the Heartbreakers:
"Voters don't walk out/ I'm too drunk to follow
You never know if you'll feel this way (about me) tomorrow
Well maybe a little rough around the edges
Or inside a little hollow,
I get faced with some things, sometimes
That are so hard to swallow, hey! / (hey hey hey) I was born a rebel!"♪♫
–Rick Perry, a boot-tappin' Dixie Treasure.
Hey, this could be Colbert's SuperPac's next campaign – invite all rethuglicans to vote on November 12….!
"Hic. Hiccup."
It becomes clearer with each passing day of the Perry campaign how a supposed farm kid could only manage a "C" in animal breeding. What I can't figure out is if he's drunk, stupid without any chemical reinforcement or buzzed out on painkillers. If it's painkillers JFK popped those like PEZ and was coherent enough to deliver some pretty good speeches. I suppose it could be all three (drunk, buzzed, extremely stupid) simultaneously. Do you s'pose the folks from Texas are getting embarrassed yet? Maybe they just aren't capable of being embarrassed after Dubya.
You have to be a special kind of stupid to get a "C" in animal breeding. The animals do all the work. It makes me wonder what he was doing in the barn. Trying to get the chickens to fuck the sheep? Telling the bull he should wait until he marries the heifer before he has sexytime with her?
November 12th is when the GOP holds its consolation election.
The results of which will be enforced by the Promise Keepers and allied militias.
Held by the Supreme Court.
There's some sophisticated strategizin' in place here. Rick's earlier plans were on par with what a Yosemite Sam or a Foghorn Leghorn might come up with, or at best maybe Huckleberry Hound. This, now, THIS is a strategy worthy of a Gomer Pyle or perhaps his slightly more cogent cousin "Goober".
Perry's come a long way, baby.
Question is where is the "huge opening" referred to in the headline: between his ears or between his butt cheeks?
Depending on depth, it could be one conjoined hole.
'One conjoined hole' sounds like a concise definition of a Republican–or Fox's editorial board.
I think if you can't drink you shouldn't be able to vote… since we will all need to be drinkin' on election day. Hell, I'm starting now.
I'll drink to that!
Pour me a glass. Hell, make it two. I can hold one in each hand.
Perry seems to spend all his time hammered, yet not one single rentboy has come forward to admit he carried Perry's luggage in the airport? Either Perry had them all snuffed or he's a eunuch. Maybe both.
The Nov. 12th election is when the zygotes and corporations vote to determine the agenda for the winner of the Nov. 6th election.
"put another way using the magic of synonyms, he will detain everyone who is detained!"
That's super, double secret detention for you, you Messican rascal, you.
So… are you going to detain them or deport them? As they are pretty much opposite.
Time to inject some physical comedy into his public appearances. A pratfall here and there, some funny faces. It'll round off his act wonderfully.
Rick Perry is being tripped up by those gotcha 'divisible by 3' numbers — it's a CONSPIRACY!
But back at Niggerhead,we say "free, White, and 21."
21? I thought the rule was "If there's grass on the field, play it."
Guppy: It's a Suthren thing.
Hey, I was born and raised (about 10 miles) south of the Mason-Dixon, and have spent the past decade or so in God's Own Dangly Bits, a/k/a Baja Alabama, that has to count for something!
Sure – it counts toward satisfying the punishment you've earned for what was evidently some very, very bad things a previous incarnation of you did in a past life.
Different activity–voting, not sex. I believe the quaint Southern rule of thumb for the latter is "old enough to bleed, old enough to butcher."
Also, dumbass, they will have to have turned 18 (or 21 for the cash bar mixer) by the registration deadline, unless they live in one of those states with communist motor voter registration, which you goopers are fighting tooth and nail, for freedumb.
He makes my brain hurt.
He's Go'er not a Knower
Nudge nudge, wink wink, say no more, say no more…
double the oops, doubling down on the stupid.
How could anyone NOT trust this guy to be Commander in Chief with his finger poised over the newkular trigger?
He said he would deploy thousands of National Guard troops immediately, while training border patrol agents to be a permanent guard.
Brilliant. I guess this means that all the border patrol agents guarding the border are temporary. At least according to Rick Perry.
Holy hell – I just got 'deleted by the administrator.'. I didn't know that was possible here.
Did you post the magical R word?
I got it when I tried making a joke with a certain early FPS game called Castle W——— which involves killing lots of Nazis and monsters. Go ahead, try speaking its name. Why, moderators? Why?
W_olfenstein
Seriously? that's the forbidden word? What is this, post-Nazi Germany?
Just tried it, and sure enough.
How very strange.
that's the damnedest thing.
does it translate into the dreaded R word somewhere in eastern europe?
This sounds like a job for Super Owls!
wolfenstein is this generation's retarded.
There was a commenter who done got banned by Newell a couple years back, whose name became unspeakable afterwards, and shared certain phonemes with your game. Strange that the banhammer got all Bayesian and started banning permutations, though.
HEY! Four months today!!
You can write "shit", "cunt", "pigfucker" and "prick" but you can't say "m a r x i s t", "c o m m u n i s t" or "l i b e r a l". On the other hand, the expression "cocksucking teabilly governor" is good as always.
To be fair, what do you expect from a doofus who can't remember three objects?
Election day and voting age are like astrophysics to this simpleton.
Even H.L. Mencken didn't see this idiot coming.
He makes Little Georgie Bush look like a Yale graduate. Oh wait….
And Harvard, too.
And Andover.
and governor of texas. and fucking president.
ok, drinking time.
I don't think Gov. Perry could win if he did run unoppposed.
Or ran against a dead coyote. Maybe.
This.
another victim in the republican 'stupid-off'.
"In the red corner … uh, actually, in a non-colour corner because she can't count to 'red' … it's the Kween of Krazy, the Empress of Eh?, Malaproooooop Michele Bachmann! In the blue corner, crying impotent tears of a strange foamy dark ochre, it's that stalwart defender of womens' rights, Righteous Ricky Santoooooooorum!"
PPV if they have edged weapons.
Remember the 2008 presidential campaign season? How we all thought the country had surely reached its nadir of hideous political shenanigans, and that the Repubs couldn't possibly come up with anyone stupider than Walnuts McInsane and Caribou Grifter? Doesn't it all seem so, well, quaint, and rather nostalgia-inducing now?
I'd say it's a given his opening is huge, considering how tireless he is in finding ways to stretch the utmost limits of his capacity.
OT, but I wonder which demographic Shouty Keith is going for with his attempt at facial hair?
Those of you that will be 21 by November the 12th, I ask for your support and your vote. Those of you who won’t be, work hard.
Because, of course, you have to be 21 to vote, right? Oh, Emma's gonna have a field day with this one.
Back in Texas we call guys this stupid "Governor".
Somewhere, George W. Bush Jr. is smiling about something.
He ate a pretzel without choking? Did he see a shiny ball? Maybe he got that doorhandle figured out FIRST TIME?
Yeah. After years of trying he finally found his ass with both hands while in a dark room. Perry wonders how he did it.
Maybe he had a happy thanksgiving memory, you know, sitting around a table with turkey, mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce, a fetus in a jar, etc.
Gotta' catch 'em all!
And, here I was thinking that only Kucinich and Ron Paul supporters are the one's that attempt to vote a week after the election
This explains why Newt is called "the smart one."
They pretty much reserve that honorific for the candidates who can get dressed all by themselves.
And now for something completely different:
I just learned that 'someone' added 'something' to a wiki answer to 'some question' about where hookworms come from that 'some' of you might find quite interesting.
http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Where_do_hookworms_come...
Seriously, HURRY! And be sure to recommend it wholeheartedly! Please??
Recommended to one and all!
Don't let the kids go barefoot around those people.
OT: Not sure why this is happening, but in the last day or two, while it used to take a good 10 minutes before Wonkette started moving very slowly on my browser, it now starts going slowly after just two minutes. It goes slowly to the point of where it would take 5 minutes, easily, to composed and submit a single post. Trying to figure out what is wrong, but if I can't, I may not be around here often, anymore. It may have had something to do with my browsers automatic updates, but I'm not sure. My Quicktime, DivX and Adobe Reader were updated.
Are you using firefox without reversed kcolbda? I find some of the flash and facebook stuff knackers firefox after a bit.
I think I was able to get it. I had to disable the Quick Time and DivX updates. I'm computer illiterate, so I have no idea what "reversed kcolbda" is. Yes, I'm using Firefox.
There is a handy add-in that suppresses the screen-swallowing advertisements that sometimes crop up. Its name, reversed, is "kcolbdA". It's worth installing.
It is a useful program which removes advertisements. Blocks them, if you will. Something that might take ads and block them. Banned word here. Perhaps reversing the letters in that confusing word might give a clue, innit.
With that and making sure you don't have other firefox plugins going you'll probably fix what's up. Often the plugins are what does you.
If you're on OS X, use Activity Monitor* or on windows use task manager *2 to see whether you're running out of memory or something is chewing your processor time.
* finder / applications / Utilities / Activity Monitor
*2 start / run / taskman.exe
Gawd, I'm so dense when it comes to computers. Thanks, you two.
BTW, I'm running a Windows operating system, and my memory isn't all used up, though, it may be running low. I don't have anything to compare it to. Finally, I have 11 plug-ins running on my Firefox browser. I'd always figured they actually helped and are necessary, but I guess not. Is there any in particular you'd suggest disabling? Everything, maybe? I'm running like four DivX plug-ins, alone.
Come again?
I use Firefox and IE and both slow tremendously in 4-5 mins. Refreshing brings the speed back, but only for a couple minutes. I have always assumed that this annoyance originates with nutters who are trying to hack the server, gather wonketers' ip addresses or some other such lojinks. I'd hate to see all my hard-earned paranoia go to waste because of some lame, logic-based explanation.
Hey, can't all us drunk people run for Governor Goodhair's magical, fictional office that is being elected on Nov. 12, 2012? I so want to run.
So, I guess we'll be left with Newt Gingrich and Mitt Romnzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Oh man, don't tell Perry it's a leap year in 2012.
That would really fuck up his calendar.
Free Texas education for all……
It's never too late or too early to pander.
Aren't the primaries first?
I'm not sure how he is going to detain and deport all illegal aliens when they are the only things attracting businesses to that shithole of a state.
Rick's plans to capture the disaffected Herman Cain voters by opening Perry's Pizza Place, with Texas-sized lard circles and three side dishes: Vermont syrup and pork rinds and, uh…
To help the poor, prices on the large pizza are half off if your wife is still under fifteen, and you have reached retirement age.
Also, he has hired his own criminal lawyer in case that heifer he banged in a barn in El Paso hasn't been turned into hamburger yet.
Now that we have seen him acting like an unmitigated jackass/mentally challenged person repeatedly on the national stage, can we demand an explanation from Texas concerning voluntarily electing this cretin to run their State over and over? And over? I want answers.
Texas is clearly overcompensating for something.
It's the hair. The boots don't hurt either.
Come on, you guys. Maths is hard, y'all.
Well bless his heart!
EVRABODY MEET MEH AT NIGGERHEAD ON NOVEMMBER 12ND . BRING YER GUNS AND FAHITA MEATS. ADIOS MOFOS.
This is easily explained by the fact that Prickerry is already president of the republic of his mind. The rules there are different and much, much simpler: the vistas are narrow and the horizons close. We get glimpses of Ricki-ricki-stan-stan now and then.
I think his mind seceded.
From reality, yes.
“Does the wind blow like this all the time?”
“No sir,” was the reply.
“Sometimes it changes and comes from the other direction.”
//rimshot
The keyword is "W0lfen" which may be racially insensitive towards Lycanthrope-Americans.
Owls is back, baby!
AHA! It was YOU. I just found you and the Dreaded She-Lupine goin' at it on the day the Banhammer came down.
you totally wоlfensteined that one out of the park!
It doesn't count if you conjugate it you know, hater.
I'm Buddhish my own self, and hope that the shit I've endured in this lifetime qualifies me for the demigod realm when I die. Eh, I'll probably fuck that up too.
And that was "wolfie-wolfie-[redacted]-stein-stein-stein".
This "Administrator" is one strange motherfucker of a robot.
OK, if your memory is ok, sounds like it's firefox.
Disable all your plugins in firefox and just re-enable them one by one if you find you're missing something. The one we mentioned is worth having, other ones – meh, hit or miss usually unless you're doing web development.
You'll probably fix most of your problems that way. No way it should be as dog slow as you're finding.
GAH! I never put two and dos together! Oh, reading through that brought tears of joy and pride to my nictitating membranes!
That battle was fucking epic, truly When We Were Kings. What happened to that old warrior blog mentality? I fear we have grown fat and weak.
And you don't even have the excuse of having smoked a buncha pot! But I suspect there's a deeper meaning in there, ntD — I originally typed "Koran horror movies" and then went back and inserted the "e."
OMG — that means you can read what I originally typed, no matter if I FIX IT!
Also, cats are very good for handwarming of a cold morning, but not so good with the typing. Didn't someone write an app for that? Cat-like typing detected on keyboard?
I wish Little Susie notthatDewey would post here. I'll bet she has plenty to say.
Nicotene will do that to your membranes.
I fear we have grown fat and weak.
The whiskey kept us lean and hungry, ready for war. Those receptors have all now been filled with graham crackers and nutella (I can't stop fucking eating an entire sleeve/jar every night!).
Here's the original, the first 500-comment thread that I remember seeing.
that means you can read what I originally typed
Pretty creepy, huh?
I wish Suzie could comment, too. She's awfully funny. She called me into her room the other day at 630am, and said "Daddy, I didn't wake up yet, but my eyes woke up, and they want to watch a movie."
And I actually had planned to get something done today. Oh, and I didn't even contribute a single post to that bloodbath??
I didn't either; I was mainly a lurker back in those days. I do remember watching it unfold, though, mouth agape.
I love the fact that it was Neilist who primed the pump.
Pretty damn.
Li'l Suzie's at that age where they just blow you away. My best friend's daughter, who will ALWAYS be three years old and the queen of my heart, used to thrill me to bits with stuff like that. Once, when she was especially naughty, she looked at our disapproving adult faces and said, "OK, I need to go stand in the corner now," and excused herself from the room. Less than five minutes later, her little hand came around the door, followed by a tearful "I stood in the corner. Can I come out now?"
But shorts really pushed it through. Well, after Owls the Impaler, of course.
Woo hoo! I feel bad — I didn't even get you anything. Did you ever follow up with those students in whom you had confided? Are they proud of their teacher?
We share an anniversary, of sorts. It would be my 5 month day if I hadn't fucked up. It's gotten to the point where, unless there's a major holiday impinging on my consciousness, I don't even think about it anymore. This is the new normal, and I like it.
And yes, at least to the upper division kids. They cheered. Actually, we have this odd little thing where I say something like, "It's a beautiful day outside and that's…" and they'll chime in, "A GOOD THING!"
That's what they all said, with extra gusto, when I told them. And you know what? "Me and Dew have a new normal and that's…"
Entertainment? Amore? All folks?
Just kidding. That's really sweet that they do that with you. They'll always remember that daft professor whom they helped to heal and who treated them as though they were adults.
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