It is not clear why this bizarre, fancy pants Republican campaign ad from Pennsylvania Senate candidate “Steve Welch” needs five and a half entire minutes to painstakingly explain why Democratic rival Sen. Bob Casey is Barack Obama’s secret long-lost twin brother, because HELLO, obvious. But Republican primary voters are sort of a dim lot sometimes, so Team Welch also helpfully Photoshopped Bob Casey wearing the exact same tie as Barack Obama multiple incriminating times, as proof. Why can’t Bob Casey just admit that he is black already?
See those two babies at 0:25? The one white and the one black? If you smoosh the two of them together, they make a bi-racial, like Barack Obama, who is like Bob Casey, who is by the cumulative property squared minus its root plus two also a bi-racial, which makes him black. Several paid actors also verify this is the case! But all fun and games aside, Steve Welch reminds us at the end of the video that he has only white children, which was the main point all along. [YouTube via Political Wire]
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I need to see their long-form separated at birth certificate, please.
Will kortney's long form suffice?
Huh. There's no entry for "Steve Welch" on wikipedia either. Ergo, can he really be "legit," as they say?..
I demand their long-form umbilical cords, myself.
I gave Casey money when he ran against Santorum and I met him at a conference here in DC. If I had known he was B.'s brother, I would have given him more money
And he only wishes he was as black as Barry O. Which to say, only a little.
When you're as white as the driven snow, even that little bit of Teh Black can help.
i'm waiting to see the ppm count.
Would it surprise you to find out that 95% of supposedly "white" Americans have some nonwhite ancestors? It wouldn't me.
One drop rule!
Oh come on–this has *got* to be a joke from some snarky Casey staffer. No one would expect people to take this farce seriously…
…um, er, never mind…
Also: never mind his occasionally annoying centrism now: CASEY 2012!
Another Waffle House conspiracy exposed.
And: please please please let Casey's response to this ad be "I'm Obama's brother from another mother." I will go into debt contributing to Casey if he does so…
Coulda been the same mother, if color were the only issue.
Well, if Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny Devito can be twins…
This ad is no reflection of those PA residence living outside of Pennsyltucky.
(this comment is 100% snark free)
Yes, they were both precious little fetuses.
Snowflakes!!
"Doctor, just how rare is it for Republicans to produce campaign ads that are simply retarded?"
“Not rare at all. I’d say it’s the norm.”
Apparently everyone can use the word r*tard*d now!
And with that, my superpower withers and dies.
There's a funny article over on WaPo. Finding it involves the search terms "google" and "autocomplete" and "Sarah Palin" and a word that starts with R. I tried to link to it here, but the Administrator apparently doesn't like certain URLs. Probably because it was from the Washington Post.
Here's that link. Don't be retarded.
I dunno, but I'm about sick to death of that Rick Perry ad where he tells the audience that he's going to force Congress to balance the budget or he'll cut their pay and send them home.
And I'm sure my neighbors are getting tired of me screaming 'ASSHOLE!" everytime it comes on.
With any luck, they haven't heard you over the din of screaming "ASSHOLE!" themselves everytime it comes on.
I no longer give a rat's ass what my neighbor thinks of me. Not since my g/f moved in with him, anyway. That cunt. And there are only two women I've known that have earned that accolade.
Now I'm curious. Who's the other one?
That's pretty fucking cold, dumping your boyfriend only to move in with his neighbour.
Someone should tell the geniuses who made this ad that Obama won Pennsylvania by a pretty comfortable margin; trying to tie Casey to him will help, not hurt, his reelection.
One of my steel mill working, union dues paying, "ethnic white"' Pennsyltucky relatives was in the hospital before the last presidential election and insisted an absentee ballot be brought to him so he could vote for Obama. Turns out, filling out the ballot was one of the last things he did. He passed away a couple days later, before seeing the returns. He wanted to get one more Democratic vote in there and to know he voted for the first black man who was a viable candidate for President.
Good for him – and I'm not being snarky. Great story.
What a pity that such a great human being is gone, when slime like Dick Cheney, Karl Rove, John Yoo, Paul Wolfowitz, Doug Feith … but you get my drift.
Heartwarming story. No snark here either.
I always feel squirmish when I upfist the death of one of us…
Look at it like toasting his memory.
I just can't stand sarcasm.
I'll bet they both use teleprompters too.
You know who else used guys with German names to explain a "genetic" problem?
Darwin?
Rosalind Franklin?
Mendel?
Mendele's brother Mengele?
Every flunky research hack that works for Glenn Beck?
Nitzche?
Alois Alzheimer?
Hitler? (Someone has to.)
Shut UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP!
Nah, Mengele.
The Afrika Corpse?
Karl Rover?
I know who that was but I'm NOT SAYING.
Wolf "Blitz" Blitzer?
NEEDZ MOAR BUDD DWYER!!!1!!
(too soon?)
Guy walks into a bar, asks the barkeep for a Dwyer. "A Dwyer? What's that?" says the barman. Comes the reply: "A Bud with a shot."
From 1981? Probably. As I recall they interrupted "Webster" to break to the presser.
I'm not going to watch the video because I don't think anything is going to top that still of Hopey sucking his finger while Casey checks out his sausage/"sausage."
I think all white men have checked out Hopey's sausage at one time or another.
Trust me: you haven't missed a thing.
I just wish it were possible to rinse the voice-over's treacly tones out of my ears. That man defines the word "smarmy."
All politicians wear the same ties. They buy them from a handcart on K Street and 14th.
Strom Thurmond and I appeared to have the exact same ties for more than two decades.
I never, ever watch 5 minute commercials unless they involve flirtatious women in scantly clad clothing making provacative suggestions. So I'm not watching this.
Oh, too bad. You missed the
If it is 5 minutes and involves flirtatious women… it ain't a commercial… it's relaxation.
Ooooh, off-topic, but I just got a breaking email from CNN that Herman Cain is going to be accused of a long-standing extra-marital affair!
I am totally, uh, what's the opposite of shocked?
Oh yeah, not shocked!
I got the giggles!
His feet must be really tired!
Thank you Gem for showing the rest of these fuckers that someone can be fucking funny without resorting to shit fucking and shit.
Fucking A!
sigh………..
What the fucking fucketty fuckaciousness of fucking WHUT?
This fucking shitty fucking dig was fucking aimed at me, wasn't it?
You gotta admit, though. It would be even funnier if he had been long-standing in shit.
Oh, he'll be standing in shit soon enough.
Cannot upfist you enough.
That is so sweet of you.
That's not the only part of him that must be tired.
I saw that too, but for that story, honey better have video or GTFO.
Nah, on the other hand, honey, just GTFO…
His wife just released a statement: "Meh."
Remember when he said there were thousands of women he hadn't propositioned? Let's go with hundreds.
At this rate it'll be 'tens'.
Beat me to it.
At this rate, he'll be like Nimrata "Nikki" Randhawa Haley: Raise your hand, gentlemen/women of South Carolina, if you have NOT slept with yo' Guvnor!
He never propositioned me, thank god.
Quick, call the press!
Male accuser? I was hoping we could kick off Dickcember a few days early.
The woman's name is Ginger White. Um, is she a real person or a comic book character?
Well she looks real enough.
Rowr! Hubba Hubba!
I remember her… well… someone like her… after a gig… and a shot… and a 12 pack… and a… uh… yeah… well… whatever… I can say I wasn't the pickiest…
That may be her name, but in fact she's neither.
Aargh!
GWINO
Just wait until Honey Brown steps forward..
And I hope for his sake that Cilantro Naranja has her documents in order.
Is she a food product, essentially?
Back to book peddling and pizza memories for Herman. I still don't get it, the man has a wife that is a knockout. Let me guess: Are we talking blonde here? Smart money says it's some siliconed cougar type who thought the Pizza express was actually going to go somewhere. Of course, the most likely theory is that the Pizza express was never really headed to the White House, but wanted to sell a few hundred pallets of books and the cougar wasn't considered worth dealing with. In any case, yet another comedic gift from the man who just can't keep his finners off the lady bits, Herman Cain! Let's hear it for him Folks!!!111!!!!!!
We are not talking blonde, I guess she counts as a cougar (although she looks more like a Maine Coon).
Hey! I have TWO kids who resemble that remark! (Maine Coons, not cougars. Or blondes.)
I'm not necessarily knocking large bones and rectangular body structures . . . some of my fondest memories involve living a certain Spinal Tap anthem. But not with YOUR kids, I swear!
That woman has a tail like a featherduster..
Really? I didn't notice extra thumbs…
No, she's not blonde; in fact, she looks rather brown. A light brown, to be sure, but brown, nevertheless. She actually looks like a nice person. A touch heavy. Not unattractive. Older woman. Doesn't look like she's had "work" done, but what do I know about that?
I get the feeling Mrs. Herman Cain is not going to be quite so gullible the sixth (or is it seventh?) time around.
Let's see: Two women at the NRA who filed suit and got a settlement + ONE woman from the NRA who never filed a suit, + TWO women employees of Iowa Christian talk radio dood Steve Deace + Sharon Bialek, that's SIX actual assaultees, plus six witnesses/corroborating witnesses.
Gloria? Time to get out the rolling pin, hon.
I can only imagine, but I'll bet she's tired of the long standing and would like to go missionary once in a while.
"Rather, this appears to be an accusation of private, alleged consensual conduct between adults – a subject matter which is not a proper subject of inquiry by the media or the public. No individual, whether a private citizen, a candidate for public office or a public official, should be questioned about his or her private sexual life." – Cain’s attorney, Len Wood
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAbillclintonimpeachmentHA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA !!!1!
Seriously, right?! The hypocrisy of the right-wingers is astounding.
It really and truly never ceases to amaze.
heh heh heh, you said 'wood'.
/Beavis
Yeah, yeah he said 'sexual' too….huhgh huhgh….huhgh.huhgh.
But Cain didn't lie about it.
Wait….he DID lie about it?
But he didn't break the law lying…
Oh, he broke the law lying to the FEC about his campaign's illegal donations?
Well, fuck it, its not like I was going to vote for him anyways.
They accused him of engaging in conduct that was only allegedly consensual? Either Len Wood needs to learn proper modifier placement or this is another one of these hand on the back of the head things.
ZOMFG! Wow. Shit's gonna hit the fan now.
Wait. What? He added ginger to spice up his pizza parlor.
Did he get in a 69-9-9 at least?
Casey never mentioned any of this during his last campaign. I wish I'd known.
So, Casey is another of them usurping Kenyan anti-colonialists?
I hope everyone remembers the person that coined that racist phrase is leading in a bunch of polls.
lalalalalalalalllalalalallllaaaalalalal — can't hear you — lalalalalalalalaalalllalal
R U shoor it was the thin-skinned toxic salamander who came up with that? I thought Dinesh D'Souza and Mr. Ideas just borrowed it. (Playing the D'Souzaphone, so to speak.)
Having actually clapped these poor peepers upon the distinctly unattractive Dinesh, I regret that my feelthy little mind has already entertained the possibility that "D'Souzaphone" will soon star in the UrbanDictionary.
Variant of "rusty trombone"?
I forgot about D’Souza's authorship…mainly because I forgot about that terrible man's existence somehow.
I actually thought it was Rush that came up with it, so I was way off.
Why do you call it "authorship"? Is the spirit of the holidays flowing richly in your breast like the milk of human kindness, moving you to some sort of unwarranted charity in the little swine's direction?
"Bob Casey, who is by the cumulative property squared minus its root plus two also a bi-racial, which makes him black."
Soooo, this is how I am using the math I studied (hated) in High School. My head hurts.
Does he eat mac n cheese? That's the true test.
Well, that is the only true test of someone's race.
Only at not-Thanksgiving.
I say, sir, I think you've won the day.
"Why can’t Bob Casey just admit that he is black already?"
'Cuz he's afraid ICE will deport him.
This is what happens when conservatives try to be ironic.
buttery fucking pancakes?
Buttery libel!
Bob ain't eatin' chicken (sausage) and waffles? WTF?!
I like butery pancakes too. Does this mean that Obama, Casey and me are triplets! My mom has some splainin to do.
Seems like somebody's been scoring LOADS of poontang on the quiet for a while now! Herman Cain's mama was humping those Koch boyz' daddy, if he's to be believed; and now it turns out that sly dog Barack Obama Sr. was getting it on with yo' mama AND his AND Casey's.
Casey and O'Bama?. Alll this time I thought they were illegals from County Hell , Ireland. Saints protect us. They are Muslins, or worse, orangemen!.
The Orangemen are definitely worse, to be sure. At least muslin's good for making cheese.
I regret that Syracuse changed it's sports teams names from "Orangemen" to "Orange". They often play Notre Dame, and I did so enjoy seeing the occasional "Irish thrash Orangemen" headline during football season.
Believe me, the Irish enjoyed it too. More than the Orangemen, at any rate.
SNL has never made a faux ad this long before.
Welch…. has only white children.
AS FAR AS WE KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Whatchoo trying to hide, Welch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Deport him!
(no… really)
Yeah, and Stanley Kubrick faked the moon landing:
http://news.discovery.com/space/faked-moon-landin...
Lame. Conservatives shouldn't attempt humor. When they do it either lands with a thud or sounds like 5th grade "yo momma" jokes.
Knock Knock!
Who's there?
A temp.
A temp who?
Attemp-s at comedy prove difficult for Republicans.
Republicans think "satire" is how a NASCAR driver tells the pit crew which one's going flat.
*rimshot*
Don't worry. Not quitting my day job.
You have a day job?
…and they think 'irony' is an adjective to describe the taste in one's mouth after eating paint chips.
Irony is what happens when you do lots 'n lots of stealy. They put you in leg ironys.
I have only one word for right wing nutz' humor: Cringe.
On this weeks' episode of "Family Ties" Barry and Bob pull a prank on Skippy at the local Wafflerama by replacing his favorite syrup with 10W30 oil.
Note: Karl Rove will be filling in for Alex P. Keaton.
Next ad in the series: "Bob Like Me"
The spot's highlights include a dramatic soundtrack, telegenic host, and fake experts in behavioral science, statistics, and body language.
So it was an episode of the Dr. Oz show without the cooking segment.
I was thinking "The O'Reilly Factor," minus the telegenic host.
I love the way Herberstein sneers and almost spits as he says the word liberal.
I have one of those names that end with stein so I'm particularly sensitive to it — and I've never met anyone with that last name. Goggling it, it is a castle in Syria. Syria, Austria, that is. And wonderful acting jobs too. Please don't give up your day jobs yet.
They originally called him "HeeborJew" but thought that might be a bit obvious.
geminisunmarsstein right?
google me
I just hope Harold Ford Jr. hasn't been able to bang any white chicks.
Next commercial will show Casey chowing down on an arugula salad.
~
Those aren't Waffles! Ewwww, shudder
How did Steve Welch become Steve Welsh? Inquiring minds want to know …
He finally paid off his debts?
Can he jump?
OT, sounds like "Ginger White" just slid down Herman's Cain.
If by "just", you mean it took her "just" 13 years to slide all the way down.
Wait, if they were separated at birth, wouldn't that mean Obama was born in the U.S.? Conspiracy overload!
Silly – Casey was born in Kenya. Duh.
Once again I am embarrassed to live in Pennsylvania.
I don't care what color a politician is, what church they go to or whom they sleep with. I just want to elect the smartest people we can find. Sadly, "smart" is apparently low on the list of requirements for a lot of other Pennsylvanians.
Only inside the "T." The big fat wide godawful "T."
Well, like that blowhard Carville once astutely observed, "Pennsylvania is Philadelphia in the east, Pittsburgh in the west, and Alabama in the middle."
remember that kick ass wonkette map of pennsylvania with hand drawn sections cordoned off? from 2008 campaign? maybe SKS did? bitterz in one corner?
i would love to see that again.
According to the host at the beginning, he will be talking to "renowned experts"…
Interesting that the first guy he talks to is "Arthur Hermanstein" (might be spelled wrong, name isn't shown on screen), I can find no search results on google for anywhere including "Lauderville, PA"…
The "probability expert" that is interviewed "Milo Kamdermann" can not be found anywhere else with a google search, besides mentions of this stupid video…
The only thing I can find for the "body language expert" "Melinda Farraday" is that Melinda Farraday is character on the TV show Castle…
None of their "experts" actually exist.
What!?! Nooooooooohhhhhh. They were so convincing too.
It's a "joke," in the usual dimwitted Republican sense of the word. It looks as if the first two "experts" are the same guy with an expertly tweaked, hahaha, beard.
they should also included Bob Massingbird, the greatest mind in English legal history
One of Dr. Mengele’s last acts was to produce hundreds of Obama “twins” to confound the entire world with liberal thinkers. †his liberalism was to follow along the lines of the original Nazi socialism. The gig is up. The republicans are on to it.
Soon, the Boys of Kenya would be released upon an unsuspecting world. And the plan would have worked too, had it not been for those meddling Republicans.
WTH:
The Jig is up.
To something.
I shied away from that word “Jig” on account of the word having a second life amongst republicans.
Every decent wealthy white Republican worth his salt knows THAT! Why'd'jew think they've been trying to get him outa the WHITE House?
NOW I understand what "The Boys From Brazil" was about…
"Gig" is up? No need to be politically correct at the Wonkette.
See, that is the thing with Socialist, they are always one step ahead of you with their plotting. If you had read Rules for Radicals, you would know that the first thing you have to do is get a twin brother who no one would ever recognize, so you can control all of the government. Do I have to draw it on a chalk board for you!!! ITS WHAT SATAN WOULD HAVE DONE!!!
You been hitting the Sterno again, Lionel[redacted]?
Let's just say I've been keeping the midnight oil burning. In my stomach.
WTF have these lame-assed jerks got against BUTTERY PANCAKES??? Goddamn unAmerican Commie sonsabitches!
Really! That was the worst part of that whole ad. No, it wasn't. The whole ad was the worst part of the ad.
Yeah, it's hard to pick just ONE despicable thing in this soaring paean to despicability.
This about as funny as when Dubya thought he was being hilarious at that press event when he was looking for those missing WMD. Fail.
That wasn't at a press conference. It was worse – it was a prepared sketch for the annual White House correspondent's dinner. With "our liberal media" chuckling along.
Why doesn't the talking head ever change his tie? Does he only own one?
He must be very jealous of Bob Casey's wardrobe.
Finally – who else believes pancakes and waffles are the same thing? Personally, I've never seen an International House of Waffles.
Finally – who else believes pancakes and waffles are the same thing?
HITLER!
In Austria they do have some disgusting pancake thing that they will serve as a main course at dinner. Thankfully, the wine made up for it.
Why is this Republican running for office, when there is a more suitable opening at Penn State???
Lots of openings at Penn State, if you're friends with Chemo Joe…
This is what conservatives call a "joke" (when they get called on it anyway) and sane people call a "lie".
I'm sorry, but I refuse to believe this is anything other than a joke created in the film lab by some art students minoring in poli sci who had been up for four nights taking acid and drinking tequila.
Shoot, I can put together something better than that on sleepless nights with acid and tequila.
Unless they were doing the brown acid.
There must have been a ton of it left over. Perhaps some decrepit hippie somewhere is selling it online.
Of all the things Wavy Gravy could be famous for…
So basically the entire Republican party is one gigantic performance art project now?
Not exactly. If you can get drunk enough, bad performance art is tolerable. But my alcohol resistance from German/Irish/Scottish genetics works against me getting drunk enough to tolerate Republicans in large groups.
Amen to thar. Same genetic profile. My liver will be shot by the Iowa primary. Betty Ford by the convention, I less it is brokered.
I don't know. If they keep this shit up, you'll be Amy Winehouse by the convention, and by that I mean pickled.
today, we are all black at birth
Well, it's not like *some* of us ever had a choice about *that,* hon.
Jerk libel!
Join me in solidarity, today, brothers and sisters!
This is a such a RINO ad. Needs more watermelon patches and zulu warriors.
Sorry, can't get past the narrator's shakes. Get that man a drink, stat. Preferably something essentially medicinal, like hemlock.
He also looks kinda like he has a boner in the first frame.
Castor beans are good.
Edited to add: AND, they ARE a vegetable, essentially.
What are vegetables?– castor beans or members of the GOP?
That's a good question. Are you ready for it?
All of … no, I can't bring myself to do it.
This is a Colbert interview, isn't it? Isn't it?
Better know an douchebag asshat!
PS – that black baby looks like he is going to beat the shit out of that cracker baby.
I was just thinking, "Damn, that black kid looks boss. That little white kid better watch out or he's gonna get his ass beat."
That has to be the stupidest thing I have ever seen.
i hope those aren't union actors.
This just proves once again that conservatives can't do comedy, at least not intentionally. Unless this wasn't intended to be comedy in which case……fuck, I just can't make sense of this shit anymore!
"Bob Casey is Barack Obama’s secret long-lost twin brother, because HELLO, obvious. "
He's a socialist Kenyan Muslin?
tl;dw
You're BACK!! Where have you been? I missed ya, you great lug.
Will anyone speak for the quadroons, or the octoroons?
One of Laura Love's best CD's.
Fascinating voice, fascinating musician. Thank you very much.
Are there no creoles?! No mulattoes?!
Georgia Woman Claims 13-Year Affair with Herman Cain http://www.myfoxatlanta.com/dpp/news/ginger-white...
Late this afternoon, Cain’s attorney, Len Wood, sent FOX 5 the following statement:
Mr. Cain has been informed today that your television station plans to broadcast a story this evening in which a female will make an accusation that she engaged in a 13-year long physical relationship with Mr. Cain. This is not an accusation of harassment in the workplace – this is not an accusation of an assault – which are subject matters of legitimate inquiry to a political candidate.
Rather, this appears to be an accusation of private, alleged consensual conduct between adults – a subject matter which is not a proper subject of inquiry by the media or the public. No individual, whether a private citizen, a candidate for public office or a public official, should be questioned about his or her private sexual life. The public's right to know and the media's right to report has boundaries and most certainly those boundaries end outside of one's bedroom door.
Any bets on how long Cain jerked off in glee when the Flowers thing came out about Clinton?
Unless you're gay, lesbian or liberal. Then we'll tell any reporter who will listen.
Bimbo eruption! This could get him elected, unless of course, you know, she's um, you know.
Not just any Mac 'n Cheese, Halal Mac 'n Cheese!
What is this "Mac 'n Cheese"? Is that a Black thing?
Actually, it's rather yellow.
So it's only high yellow blacks that eat the Mac 'n Cheese?
Question: Does anybody else find the term "high yellow" offensive? I'm not Black (as I've said before, and I'm saying it again in case anyone missed it) but I find the term offensive. However, it's not for me to take offense at something that doesn't really pertain to me. So, I'd like to ask you, and anyone else who bothers to read this: Do YOU find this term offensive? If so, why? If not, why not? Thanks very much for your *considered* response.
Maybe they're brothers of a different mother?
You had me me at buttery pancakes.
Which Church do I vote at?
There goes $75,000.
I'm not completely up on my wingnut conspiracy theories, but this means that Bob Casey is the secret love-child of Jimi Hendrix and Malcolm X, right?
In Kenya, also too.
Herman Cain interviewed by Wolf Blitzer (via Politico)
“This individual’s going to accuse me of an affair for an extended period of time. I don’t want to specify because I don’t know what’s in the story. Secondly, it is someone that I know who is an acquaintance that I thought was a friend,” Cain told Blitzer.
…
Cain, however, declined to say that White was lying.
“Let’s see what the story will be,” he said. “I don’t want to be pinned down with things until we know what the story will be.”
From WashPost:
The Cain campaign was alerted to the accusation by the television reporter, who had interviewed White over the weekend. White gave the reporter Cain’s private cellphone number — which appeared 61 times on her phone records over four months. When the reporter sent a text message to the number, Cain called back and said he knew White but had not had an affair with her.
“Let’s see what the story will be,” he said. “I don’t want to be pinned down with things until we know what the story will be.”
In other words, "I don't wanna issue a denial until I know exactly which one of the damn liars out there is accusing me this time."
Wooks, he literally said it could be a thousands of different people.
And every one of the accusations is nothing more than a racist attack.
This really shows that he's got the character to be president — anybody who can stand up in front of the entire country and call a woman he's had a 13-year affair with, and women he's worked with and supposedly respects, liars while doing the math to know that he's going to have to say this about tons of other women — well, he's definitely got the spirit for the long, drawn-out, hellish litany of disasters that a Cain administration would inevitably bring on.
Uz-Becky-Becky-Becky-Ginger, et. al.
Stick a fork in 'im, he's done.
Kind of like when Costas' asked Sandusky if he was attracted to young boys…..pause, ummm….well I touched their thighs.
That was fucking amazing.
Not until minute 5 when the announcer says "It's no joke" did I realize this was supposed to be funny.Republicans have no concept of humor, I am fully convinced of that now.
Also, I am fed-up wit two of the Rights favorite terms The "failed stimulus" FUCKING WORKED! The only "fail" was it wasn't big enough because so greedy, stingy Republicans. Also, your greedy 1%ers that should pay more taxes are NOT Job Fucking Creators or they would have created some jobs when Shrub was President.
Me too. I heard that and thought, "It's a joke? What's the joke?"
Haven't watched the video, but Bobby and Barry had a legendary bromance during the 2008 primaries. I'm talking about a Burt & Ernie-level bromance. They couldn't keep each other's hands off one another. And like all bromances, it was both endearing and a little bit weird. lol
EDIT: Watching the video. Awesome production value. What a vulgar waste of money, though.
Bob's a decent fellow, demands of the pol aside.
"People don't agree with their spouses that often."
I sure as hell hope not. Who the hell wrote this dialogue? George Lucas?
BTW, are "Obama's buttery waffles" code for something? Methinks that actress wants to nibble on Obama's buttery waffles.
Half of America longs to nibble on Obama's buttery waffles, and the other half are either too young, too old, too disabled, or have the wrong sexual preference.
My mom always said she had the wrong baby too. But, you know, I was cuter than the other one, so she kept me. Maybe the same thing with Bob's mom?
I realize the Oirish have different esthetic standards, but srsly, a choice between Baby Casey and Baby Bamz? I would so run off with Baby Bamz, even if I can't tell one end of a baby from the other (a loud noise at one end and no social responsibility at the other, I know).
This is a waste of 5 minutes and 49 seconds of even a conservative wingnut's life. What ever wingnuts do, I suggest they go out and do it rather than watching this crap…
First of all, what percentage of the time does every Republican in Congress vote exactly the same as every other Republican in Congress? If it's not 98%, I'm guessing it's higher.
Secondly, if he spells it Welch, why does he pronounce it Welsh? Is he retarded?
Don't have time to watch lame wingnut shit, but I'm glad someone is keeping an eye on developing wingnuttery.
Knock that shit off.
I am so tempted to give you a smiley face response to your "sigh…", but I knew I'd be pilloried by the other Wonketteers/Denizens of Lord of Flies island.
fuck it.
: )
Come and get me muthatfuckaaaaaaas
I would never pillory you, dear. Pillow upon you, maybe, but I'm kinky that way.
LOL. OMG – duck!!!
You squalled?
BAN HIM/HER!!1!
Dammit!
But he got his degree from the University of Shtupping, so he's legit, right?
No REAL Jew would EVER make that mistake.
"Shtein," indeed.
There's only one way to redeem yourself now. You need to follow SFE's link, go to the comments and post, "You should try 'Palin hookworms'!"
Go ahead, we'll wait.
YEARGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!
WOLVERI…………………….
Yeah, well HA HA you can't do it anymore, either.
Hey–speaking of hookworms… (quick!)
Actually, "Hookworm Conjecture" sounds like something she'd name one of her kids..
Where can we meet to, uh, discuss this?
I read it on the internet, so it must be true!
I got the screen shot; I'll put it up later.
Strong work.
I was able to recommend your answer while it was still there.
Oh that is fucking brilliant! My entire life up to this point has now been validated.
Rep. Pete Hoekstra just tweeted: "User of Owls' Palin hookworm meme just got mentioned on Answers.com. Must be what it felt like when Nelson Mandela was released from Robbin Island."
Too many syllables; try Hook. And Con.
Lookit you, you saucy little thing. Aren't you being bold?
only 95%?
AVENGE MEEE –
Teeheehee.
(Hugs the cheeky little Geminisunmars)
And I googled you. Nothing, nada, zilch, zip. Hah.
All of them, Katie?
did you try Geminisunmarsstein?
I did indeed, m'dear.
Cold as hell! I'd move, but nobody's gonna buy my shack and I can't afford to give it away.
The other one is just someone I used to know. I should be dead by the time I feel as meh about this recent ex..
CANADA! CANADA!! I call Canada… God I wish I could spell Neighbor that way…
Jezus god you almost gave me a heart attack with all that yelling, dood! Didn't I *say* to use your inside voice?
You can. You just have to *believe.*
I'm sorry. That's a pretty shitty thing to have happen.
Should I wish a bad case of the clap on her AND her fucktoy?
I'm just looking for an escape… and I'm jealous…
Oh, g-d, it is happening already… They are erasing me. Help…help…hel
Crook and Hon
Yup. Coffee break's over.
Well done…I know that joke.
Thanks, but pepper spray should suffice.
Dude, I am SO thinking. Now to think up a suitably revoltin' variation.
Nice!
Of my spelling?
Now I've heard everything.
Oy.
I'll let the surviving fatty know. (No, they're not big-boned. 23 lb is not big-boned, especially not when your stomach leaves a swept track on the deck.)
I use a Golden Retar-, er, Retriever to sweep my deck. He doesn't do a great job of it. Maybe it's time to switch to Maine Coons. How hard is it to pull redwood debris out of their coats? Or are they small enough to just toss in the washer when full?
I have a friend who has a rescued Golden. Damn, those dogs are dumb! Sweet as fuck-all, but dumber than a fence post. Personally, I think it's the Blonde Gene (apologies to any blondes out there). It seems to correlate to the Brainlessness Gene. At least our red/ginger kitties are stupider than dirt.
I wouldn't even TRY to pull redwood debris out of their coats. Dogs are pretty good-natured, and if you want to subdue one, just grab 'em in a scissor grip between the legs and stick a muzzle on 'em, you're done. Cats have TWENTY blood-shedding, skin-ripping pointy endz plus a mouthful of fangs that could send you to the emergency room with a serious bone infection (the worst damage a dogbite will do is break skin and maybe a small bone, if you're unlucky). And they don't like Hoominz mucking about with their coats. Fortunately, Maine Coons tend to be sweet and affectionate creatures. Also, washers: DISTINCTLY a not-good idea. We tried bathing one of ours when he held a pine-sap-fest party. We still have scars. ALL of us.
I promise to pepperspray them if I ever meet them. (I'll be discreet. I'll let them provoke me and get it on videotape.)
Meanwhile, here's an affectionate hug. Sorry such a shitty thing happened to ya. On the *plus* side, you're better off without such a cold, calculating cunt. Let's hope you meet someone wonderful soon, and she moves in.
Thanks for having my back. I odn't much blame anyone, though. I know I'm damaged, lucky to be alive after the abuse I heaped upon myself, and I guess I've done the best I could putting the pieces of me back together. Kinda like that 1,000 piece jigsaw puzzle you got at the thrift store, though–some of the pieces are missing…
I think most of us here are the same, my friend. Damaged in parts, but the center's still good. You're here, you're a good human being (or you'd be tossing the foreclosed out for a living), and you've got us. Can't ask for more.
Here's another hug, you need it. {squeeze}
Did you see what Mrs. ShitFilledExistence's boy did today? Why don't you ever show that kind of gumption?
Just lazy, I guess. Besides, I have my own Conjecture to worry about these days.
Well it's a start. But I bet that nice ShitFilledExistence boy is already working on a Corollary. Did I tell you he got early admission at that prestigious University of Phoenix that everyone's talking about?
Well, whoop-de-do. I'm sure he'll be a
struggling cess pool cleanersuccessful hedge fund manager in no time.First off, it's 'she', and secondly, maybe you guys should be working on a Formulary to test which drugs would calm you the fuck down. Sheesh.
Don't hold back on the snide remarks!
Dewey, did you hear??
Mrs. ShitFilledExistence's boy is a ho-mo-sex-ual!
Must really bother you not to have a vagina… Are you saving up for the operation?
Hey amiga, no malice intended. Au contraire, I was tickled by your crafty hookworm subversion! And the follow-up was a tease of dear friend Dew as well as an indirect paean to your deed. Sorry if I caused offense.
I guess I, uh, read that wrong.. Way wrong. My apologies–I'm a sensitive smoking baby.
Well you are smokin', baby.
Palinz, sorry didn't mean to offend, it was just snark. The term "high yellow" may be offensive, but it refers to a real, well-documented historic problem within the African-American community. I'm as white as they come myself, but I spent my formative years from kindergarten through 9th grade attending cira 40% to almost completely African-American-populated schools in southeast Washington D. C., and I personally observed lighter-colored A-A kids insult their darker-hued classmates by calling them, "You black nigger, you!" Again, I apologize for offending you, brother.
Pdog, *you* don't offend me, man, you're my good buddy. The *term* offends me, which is a whole different kettle. But see, I'm not a black person, so I have no business determining what is OK and what is offensive when it comes to Black culture. And I was hoping to hear what Black people think of the term. So, no offense taken, I know none was intended.
I grew up hearing all that shit 24/7. It's not only the Black community that treats dark skin as the Mark of Cain, so to speak. I think white imperialism did that to us dark-skinned people, made us think of ourselves as less. My grandmother and my mother were both very dark, and I never heard them say one positive thing about dark skin. (And they were always trashing nappy hair, which was pretty damn cheeky of them, seeing as they didn't have it and had never seen it in their lives.) I'm sort of lighter brown, but my sister's quite dark, and she used to get called "blackie" a lot as a kid. So I wonder how Black people feel about the term "high yellow," or, as most everyone seems to pronounce it, "high yaller."
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