HARD TO BELIEVE  1:58 pm November 28, 2011

Bored Immigration Agents Now Also Trying To Deport U.S. Citizens

by Kirsten Boyd Johnson

All of the brown ones, Katie.

It doesn’t really seem terribly equitable for Immigration and Customs Enforcement agents to only be feverishly deporting thousands and thousands of undocumented dark-skinned residents all the time now, does it? And America is about nothing if not fairness! So to keep things “even,” ICE has been steadily trying to kick out thousands of U.S. citizens like Jamaican-American Anthony Clarke, who according to a Star Tribune report was arrested and mysteriously detained for months for the deportation-level offense of being a dark-skinned man living in a nation full of incompetent/corrupt/lazy law enforcement agents.

ICE first considered deporting Jamaican-born Clarke in 2004 when he was arrested for driving while black or whatever, but …eh, you really have to let the irony of these situations mature for the full effect. Why not wait a few years to try to deport him and try again, say, immediately after he’s had a chance to file some paperwork verifying that he’s a U.S. citizen?

Then, in May 2008, Clarke went to the immigration office in Bloomington to obtain proper documentation of his citizenship. On a form, he marked he was an American citizen and listed his address.

Two weeks later, ICE agents raided his sister’s home in Columbia Heights in the early morning. In court filings, she said agents told her through the door that there was an “issue” in the neighborhood and that they then “barged” in. Clarke’s sister said agents then illegally searched her home and found her brother sleeping. ICE would not comment on the incident.

On the day Clarke was arrested, an ICE agent ran a background check on him, using the FBI’s fingerprint database. That electronically retrieved document, contained in Clarke’s immigration file, lists his citizenship as “United States.”

Nevertheless, Clarke was held and moved in late June from the ICE holding block at the Sherburne County jail in Elk River to an unidentified facility in South Dakota, according to court documents.

And what American wouldn’t love that, a free surprise vacation to a secret government detention camp in some godforsaken wasteland? The Star Tribune story also mentions an academic study estimating that four thousand American citizens were illegally detained or deported last year, which kind of makes it seem like those top secret extraordinary rendition programs the CIA is running overseas on various handfuls of furriner enemies might actually just be “practice.” [Star Tribune]

 

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{ 174 comments }

chascates November 28, 2011 at 2:00 pm

Oo! Oo! Do Herman Cain first!

Barb November 28, 2011 at 2:01 pm

I wouldn't mind being deported. Do we get to pick where we get to go?

chascates November 28, 2011 at 2:02 pm

I call Barcelona!

Barb November 28, 2011 at 2:05 pm

Bah ha ha! You should have picked the Virgin Islands.

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 28, 2011 at 2:11 pm

They are not really virgins, you know.

SorosBot November 28, 2011 at 2:23 pm

Hell, I hear those islands did it with both the US and Britain at the same time.

KeepFnThatChicken November 28, 2011 at 2:35 pm

Allahu akbar anyway, dammit.

Numbat_Dundee November 28, 2011 at 3:57 pm

Send me there and they won't be for long.

An_Outhouse November 28, 2011 at 5:34 pm

I really hate Costa Rica. Please don't send me back to Costa Rica!

justkillmenow November 28, 2011 at 2:04 pm

I was thinking the same thing. Do I have to be black? Would a good tan suffice?

KeepFnThatChicken November 28, 2011 at 2:06 pm

I want to go to Chile!

subsum November 28, 2011 at 3:18 pm

Same here. If that doesn't work, just dump my ass in Mendoza, right across the mountains. The wine is good over there too.

starfanglednut November 28, 2011 at 6:49 pm

I really want to go to La Isla Negra, to see where Pablo Neruda wrote his ocean poems.

SorosBot November 28, 2011 at 2:09 pm

Can I call dibs on Paris?

Barb November 28, 2011 at 2:22 pm

Take Nicky too while you are at it. At least you'll be able to stay at Hilton Hotels for free.

CZL November 28, 2011 at 2:11 pm

Ich sprech Deutsch. Können Sie mir aus Deutschland senden? Danke. Jeder, auch.

TanzbodenKoenig November 28, 2011 at 2:21 pm

Ja! Ich auch, bitte!

Master Janitor V572 November 28, 2011 at 4:12 pm

Es ist zu kalt im Deutschland. Also the Germans are so polite that their politeness is indistinguishable from rudeness.

ShitFilledExistence November 28, 2011 at 2:12 pm

Greenland.

SheriffRoscoe November 28, 2011 at 2:13 pm

Australia. You'd think it was America, except you can see boobies when you go to the beach.

JustPixelz November 28, 2011 at 3:17 pm

All* our boobs are on teevee in Repubican debates.
_______________________
* Just kidding. We have lots of boobs elsewhere. I'm looking at you, Louie Gohmert.

Numbat_Dundee November 28, 2011 at 4:01 pm

Just flashed me dinky di Aussie man boobs at the screen. That'll have to do you for now, mate.

PalinzADummy November 28, 2011 at 8:09 pm

TOO HAIRY!

DerrickWildcat November 28, 2011 at 2:21 pm

Montana!

PalinzADummy November 28, 2011 at 8:09 pm

Movin' to Montana soon
Gonna be a dental floss tycoon

jaytingle November 28, 2011 at 2:44 pm

Bad news. Since formally beginning their immigrant hate fest, Alabama requires an immediate influx of replacement dark people who are also American citizens.

PalinzADummy November 28, 2011 at 8:10 pm

No fucking way. I don't DO stoop labour.

nounverb911 November 28, 2011 at 2:53 pm

Tokyo! Home of the naturally shaken Martini.

PalinzADummy November 28, 2011 at 8:10 pm

Um … not to be difficult or anything, yaknow, but California does a pretty good naturally-shaken-not-stirred.

JustPixelz November 28, 2011 at 3:19 pm

Can we deport everyone else instead? Let's start with Texas. Remember to act sad when they go.

Snarkfest November 30, 2011 at 1:42 pm

Easier just to sell it to Mexico. One Peso!

4TheTurnstiles November 28, 2011 at 3:48 pm
chicken_thief November 28, 2011 at 3:49 pm

I want to go to Greece because they have a government more broken than ours, and I don't want to take shit from some furiner about the Tea Party and Congressional gridlock for the rest of my days.

outragedcitizen November 29, 2011 at 8:03 am

I pick Canada. Will they pack my belonging also? Save me a huge expense when Gingrich or Mittens gets elected next year.

Snarkfest November 30, 2011 at 1:44 pm

Damn great idea! Don't have to be dark skinned – just get a maple leaf shirt and a toque. BAM you are out the northern portal.

freakishlywrong November 28, 2011 at 2:02 pm

The way this stupid country is cratering, deportation is getting to be seen as maybe more of a perk than a threat.

BaldarTFlagass November 28, 2011 at 2:02 pm

Next up:

"ICE Begins Raids In Navajo Nation."

oldmayfly November 28, 2011 at 4:32 pm

Wonderful! I remember a California protest when Bush the first was prez and the tv news showed a native-American-looking man holding a big sign that read:

"Who are you calling 'immigrant', Pilgrim?"

BaldarTFlagass November 28, 2011 at 2:05 pm

Yo man — Let's get out of here! Word to your mother!

ICE ICE Baby Too cold, ICE ICE Baby Too cold, Too cold

Chichikovovich November 28, 2011 at 2:07 pm

When those ICE agents come, just tell 'em: Stop! Collaborate and Listen!

Baconzgood November 28, 2011 at 2:38 pm

The only thing Vanilla Ice ever did that was worth while was the movie Cool as Ice! That movie was Hell-air-ous!

SorosBot November 28, 2011 at 2:45 pm

What about his timeless appearance in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze? Ninja, ninja rap…

Baconzgood November 28, 2011 at 2:52 pm

OH SHIT! Go ninja go ninja go!

freakishlywrong November 28, 2011 at 2:05 pm

"He got caught in a horrible trap,'' said Angela Bortel, Clarke's Minneapolis attorney. She forgot to add; "one, not of his own making".

Callyson November 28, 2011 at 2:05 pm

he remained under ICE's jurisdiction until mid-December 2009, a total of 508 days
Our tax dollars at work…
Morans.

littlebigdaddy November 28, 2011 at 2:05 pm

This will be the applause line at the next Gooper debate.

GhostBuggy November 28, 2011 at 3:30 pm

MODERATOR: "Mr. Cain, what do you think about the fact that there are reports of 4,000 American citizens being illegally detained or deported?"

<Audience boos moderator>

HERMUN: "When I am President of 999, I will make sure that number is doubled! Pizza boobies!"

<Applause>

PalinzADummy November 28, 2011 at 8:13 pm

Mr. Cain ain't goin' to no more 'Publican debates, not till Miz Ginger White's all-ee-gay-shunz is all explained, no suh!

chicken_thief November 28, 2011 at 3:51 pm

Perry will point out, if he can remember to do so, that if the detainee had been in TX, Rick would have killed him.

starfanglednut November 28, 2011 at 6:52 pm

And Michele and Marcus will bill medicare to cure his gayness.

PalinzADummy November 28, 2011 at 8:14 pm

Even if he was 250% straight, like all those MANLY straight men out there.

You know the kind: might suck a little dick once in a while, or let some other man suck theirs, but, OH, NO, THEY'RE NOT GAY!

starfanglednut November 28, 2011 at 8:45 pm
proudgrampa November 28, 2011 at 2:05 pm

Ok. If we can't stop the planet so that I can get off, I will take deportation. Costa Rica, Nicaragua, Tonga…

freakishlywrong November 28, 2011 at 2:27 pm

Tonga! I was just telling my boyfriend about Tonga!

Geminisunmars November 28, 2011 at 3:47 pm

And did he comply?

jus_wonderin November 28, 2011 at 3:56 pm

First, you Won me. Second, you beat me to the comment!

Geminisunmars November 28, 2011 at 4:13 pm

Can I have my way with you now that I've won you? How's about a little Tonga? Or is that too Bora Bora?

KeepFnThatChicken November 28, 2011 at 2:05 pm

Is this because our students are failing geography or U. S. Government?

And don't answer "both"; that's lazy.

emmelemm November 28, 2011 at 2:22 pm

All of them, Katie.

HA!

starfanglednut November 28, 2011 at 6:53 pm

Oh, you just hadda.

emmelemm November 28, 2011 at 6:56 pm

Well, Chicken said don't answer "both". So I didn't!

chicken_thief November 28, 2011 at 3:53 pm

lazy = Real 'Merikun! I think. I was going to google it, but…. ah, fuck it.

ShitFilledExistence November 28, 2011 at 2:06 pm

At least they didn't waterboard him, but I'm sure that's coming..

OkieDokieDog November 28, 2011 at 2:06 pm

South Dakota, America's Siberia.

Maman November 28, 2011 at 2:12 pm

That is North Dakota…

Mahousu November 28, 2011 at 2:18 pm

North Dakota is South Dakota's Siberia.

ShitFilledExistence November 28, 2011 at 2:29 pm

Saskatchewan is North Dakota's Siberia.

KeepFnThatChicken November 28, 2011 at 2:58 pm

North is the new South.

Chichikovovich November 28, 2011 at 3:11 pm

But not Moose Jaw. I worked construction in Moose Jaw, and I'm here to tell you that Moose Jaw is one hell of a party town. Swift Current too.

OneDollarJuana November 28, 2011 at 3:26 pm

The Northwest Territories are Saskatchewan's… Dang! Now you got me doing it!

SheriffRoscoe November 28, 2011 at 2:07 pm

First they came for the citizens, sleeping in their homes, and I said nothing, for I was not a….

Hey wait a minute. This shit doesn't work anymore!

kissawookiee November 28, 2011 at 2:39 pm

For I was not a… sleep?

That's about the only way it works.

Blueb4sunrise November 28, 2011 at 2:07 pm

"….unidentified detention facility ….."

Are you fucking kidding me?!?!??????

Ya know……..

chicken_thief November 28, 2011 at 3:56 pm

In South Dakota – right? Like they got so damn many there that no one will ever, ever figure out which he was locked up in.

Eve8Apples November 28, 2011 at 2:08 pm

WOOO FUCKIN' HOOO! It's about time! Here's my top 10 list (not in any order):

1 Rush Limbaugh
2 Bill O'Reilly
3 Rupert Murdoch
4 Glenn Beck
5 Anne Coulter
6 Michelle Malkin
7 Erick Erickson
8 Matt Drudge
9 The entire Kardashian Klan
10 Sarah Palin and all her family

Now get to it ICE!

ShitFilledExistence November 28, 2011 at 2:10 pm

and Breitfart plus too many to name..

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 28, 2011 at 2:14 pm

I'm sorry. There is a difference between the Kardashian Klan an Sarah Palin and her family? I thought the same people just used different names depending on what network they had a contract with.

And you can't deport Michelle Malkin, as then her parents would have to be deported as they wouldn't have their anchor baby anymore.

Eve8Apples November 28, 2011 at 2:17 pm

Excellent point. Kardashian and Palin both love to fuck pro basketball players.

OkieDokieDog November 28, 2011 at 2:26 pm

Plus they are both "celeb" enough to be on DWTS !

freakishlywrong November 28, 2011 at 2:30 pm

Problem with yer list…they, other than Fucklin and possibly the Kardash trash, (*whispers* they're all white)..

fuflans November 28, 2011 at 9:08 pm

where to send, where to send…

mavenmaven November 28, 2011 at 2:08 pm

Oh, the fascist trains are moving fast, forced resettlement in the east?

Baconzgood November 28, 2011 at 2:09 pm

I wouldn't mind getting deported to Canada. They have health care.

ChernobylSoup November 28, 2011 at 2:10 pm

Okay, illegal searches, arrests based on sketchy probable cause, and widespread gross incompetence in a government agency is one thing. But sending an American citizen to South Dakota is where I draw the line.

Chichikovovich November 28, 2011 at 2:12 pm

Y'know I think this story can't be true. I called around to my friends with dual Canadian-American citizenship who are also white, English-speaking PhD's teaching at universities. And nothing like this has ever happened to any of us.

oldmayfly November 28, 2011 at 4:36 pm

Right! About 15 years ago I knew a bunch of people I later learned were illegal immigrants. No one every bothered them. They were all from Europe.

SorosBot November 28, 2011 at 2:16 pm

Having worked in immigration law, let me tell you that the ICE courts are just horrible; because deportation is considered a civil, not criminal, penalty there's no such thing as due process or a presumption of innocence, instead at hearings the subject is presumed guilty and has the burden of proof in proving that they are here legally or deserving of legal status (as with refugees). It shows with the most common hearings, those involving marriage; the judge presumes that a couple is faking it and has to prove they really are in love, even though every other legal benefit of marriage doesn't require that a couple prove their marriage is "real".

BaldarTFlagass November 28, 2011 at 2:22 pm

"to prove they really are in love"

Spit/swallow?

subsum November 28, 2011 at 3:23 pm

Does the judge ask them to do it in his chambers while he watches? That's hot!

Chichikovovich November 28, 2011 at 3:25 pm

You've listed many of the things I was getting more and more concerned about, and which finally nudged me into becoming a citizen. That, and some interesting quirks of estate tax law for non-citizens. And: Flemming v. Nestor, 363 U.S. 603 (1960).

SorosBot November 28, 2011 at 3:54 pm

Yeah, any immigrant who qualifies for citizenship should apply for naturalization as soon as they can, because the USCIS and ICE are amazingly good at fucking permanent residents over, often by simple bureaucratic fuck-up.

Geminisunmars November 28, 2011 at 3:55 pm

My husband, a holocaust survivor and one of the sweetest people ever, has nothing nice to say about his experience with the immigration department. They treated him like crap, even while he was in the US Air Force. He had trouble getting his citizen papers until his General made a few calls. And he wasn't even brown. (Of course he was Jewish, so whadya expect).

horsedreamer_1 November 28, 2011 at 11:48 pm

You know who else suspected Jews?

LowProfileinGA November 29, 2011 at 6:33 am

Mel Gibson?

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 28, 2011 at 2:16 pm

You see, we have finally gotten through the backlog of foreign born brown people, we can finally move on to getting rid of the brown people who are citizens.

GOPCrusher November 28, 2011 at 2:54 pm

I'm so glad that this increased attention on the immigration problem and the states passing anti-immigration laws is not going to result in racial profiling.

coolhandnuke November 28, 2011 at 2:18 pm

ICEholes.

QwertyToo November 28, 2011 at 2:36 pm

That should be "Fargin ICEholes"

RandPaulsToupee November 28, 2011 at 3:50 pm

Fargo-in' ICEholes?

EatsBabyDingos November 28, 2011 at 2:18 pm

Damn Hawai'ians.

Biff November 28, 2011 at 2:18 pm

I had high hopes when I got my passport, but now it seems deportation may be my only means of getting that first stamp in my book. Bring it on.

Mumbletypeg November 28, 2011 at 2:21 pm

Dusky-hued Uncle Remus FTW

emmelemm November 28, 2011 at 2:22 pm

Hee!

OneYieldRegular November 28, 2011 at 2:26 pm

Mr. Gorbachev – tear down this wall!

RedneckMuslin November 28, 2011 at 2:34 pm

First deportation then all out Holodomor.

BornInATrailer November 28, 2011 at 2:31 pm

Hey look, another thing white people like myself don't need to worry about.

LettucePrey November 28, 2011 at 2:32 pm

Deport all the Puerto Ricans next!!

LettucePrey November 28, 2011 at 3:01 pm

Wait, Bill Clinton and Newt Gingrich have anchor babies? Dew tell!

Chichikovovich November 28, 2011 at 3:23 pm

Just going by the numbers, you figure there must be one or two of them out there. Those are two busy jackrabbits.

chicken_thief November 28, 2011 at 4:00 pm

Busy enough that, odds are, they've boned each other.

mereoblivion November 28, 2011 at 3:14 pm

But first make them a steak.

Biff November 28, 2011 at 4:39 pm

Because "make me a sandwich" has run it's course?

el_donaldo November 28, 2011 at 2:34 pm

"a nation full of incompetent/corrupt/lazy law enforcement agents" – to which you should add overfunded, militarized, and a few other choice terms. America – it takes a lot of adjectives to describe our peace officers!

Goonemeritus November 28, 2011 at 2:34 pm

Maybe ICE is on to something here; if we keep the undocumented and deport the citizens I suspect our country would be a lot more rational.

coolhandnuke November 28, 2011 at 2:40 pm

Who would Jesus deport? Fred Phelps, Kirk Cameron, Tim Tebow and Kansas. Except Emma.

El Pinche November 28, 2011 at 4:34 pm

To the surface of the sun, please!!

Snarkfest November 30, 2011 at 1:46 pm

You forgot Texas.

SayItWithWookies November 28, 2011 at 2:48 pm

Hmmm — is it a coincidence that Homeland Security, founded by Dubya, doesn't allow collective bargaining and for a long time had the lowest morale of any cabinet office? When you treat workers like they're crappy interchangeable cogs, the good ones leave and you're left with a increasingly dispirited and uncaring labor pool. Then add a rabid and sweeping policy into the mix and don't be surprised when you get a big fucking shitstorm as a result.

Fortunately we have a huge number of adults in public office who are dead set on applying reason and evidence to our misbegotten policies, right? Oh shit — I'll just keep an overnight bag by the front door.

Beetagger November 28, 2011 at 2:57 pm

Paging Alex Jones…

Suck My Balls November 28, 2011 at 3:02 pm

Our nation turns its lonely broadband to you…

Maman November 28, 2011 at 2:58 pm

Did the deported citizens say mean things about wingnuts?

WhatTheHeck November 28, 2011 at 3:01 pm

I guess the poor guy was not on Schindler's List.

Are the ovens ready?

smitallica November 28, 2011 at 3:01 pm

Pick me! This place is turning into a Jesus-freak shithole.

Indiepalin November 28, 2011 at 3:03 pm

Are these the same people who keep voting fraudulently in Wisconsin recall elections?

neiltheblaze November 28, 2011 at 3:08 pm

If they want to deport me to London, I'll be fine with that.

mereoblivion November 28, 2011 at 3:17 pm

Bet they never tried to pull this crap on Charles Foster Kane.

anniegetyerfun November 28, 2011 at 3:18 pm

Oh, god, the guy has a felony under his belt (also, marijuana possession, like that's a real crime). I just just hear the furious fapping from the Right wing as we speak, as they work themselves into a froth over the idea of deporting any black citizen with a criminal record.

Mojopo November 28, 2011 at 3:20 pm

Everything is covered in semen now. Especially the radio dial. It is wretched.

bflrtsplk November 28, 2011 at 3:18 pm

Ha! I deported myself. Beat them to it.

Snarkfest November 30, 2011 at 1:47 pm

Is it nice there?

bflrtsplk November 30, 2011 at 6:15 pm

Nicer here than there I suppose, though I haven't been "there"in quite some time.

Mojopo November 28, 2011 at 3:18 pm

What happens to those 4,000 people? Do they even get a US flag card that says "oopsie, my bad"? 4,000 people! Holy crap. That's not incompetence, that's an outright campaign against brown people. A mistake would be, like, five people. 4,000? Are you shitting me?

Tundra Grifter November 28, 2011 at 3:21 pm

Remember how the right wing nutz told us there was nothing to worry about when Arizona pushed through its "tough" new laws on "illegal aliens?"

"There are plenty of protections in the law," they said. "What are you scared of if you aren't doing something worng?"

&c., &c., &c.

I'm going out on a limb here and suggesting there are plenty more cases we just haven't heard about yet…

Antispandex November 29, 2011 at 12:49 am

This sounds suspiciously like you may not believe everything your government tells you. That is un-American, and paranoid, also. I'm sure I just read it wrong.

Antispandex November 28, 2011 at 3:22 pm

"…to an unidentified facility in South Dakota…"

For the love of god, the man has been punished enough. There are probably only about two places in SD that any American would care to go, but if you are from a poverty stricken, and mostly undereducated island, being sent there is like going home…. except there are no pretty beaches, or good music, and you will freeze your ass off.

Biff November 28, 2011 at 4:46 pm

The Black Hills are beautiful, and cover a pretty large chunk of western South Dakota real estate. You can bet your ass whatever undisclosed location they've decided to put this prison is nowhere near there.

starfanglednut November 28, 2011 at 7:00 pm

They are gorgeous. Of course, we stole them from the Lakota, who we then shipped off to unspeakably dreary and poverty stricken Pine Ridge Reservation. Sigh…

GOPCrusher November 28, 2011 at 5:29 pm

Got to do something with those empty nuclear missile silos.

SpiderCrab November 28, 2011 at 3:27 pm

I'm certain that once news of this injustice reaches the Oval Office, Barry will slip on his Spiderman duds and right the wrongs, woncha' Barry? Barry?

OneDollarJuana November 28, 2011 at 3:31 pm

You guys are whining about deporting US citizens when it's Mr. Obama, the Democratic Constitutional Lawyer Professor that has assassinated a US citizen without due process. Makes deportation seem a bit tame, no?

DahBoner November 28, 2011 at 3:59 pm

But he was a New Mexican.

Close enough…

jus_wonderin November 28, 2011 at 3:37 pm

"A gripping psychological thriller that will have you cringing every time the door opens and you hear the words Daddy's Home, just in time for Christmas." Get one for each of your kids.

KeepFnThatChicken November 28, 2011 at 3:40 pm

On the lighter side, this would keep people from Mississippi in Mississippi.

Just. Not. Seeing. A. Down side.

NickDanger007 November 28, 2011 at 3:42 pm

Anonymous, you've got a new target.

owhatever November 28, 2011 at 3:44 pm

Exports are up! Stock market rises!

prommie November 28, 2011 at 3:53 pm

#ICEblowsalot

DahBoner November 28, 2011 at 3:57 pm

Remember back when the only time you saw ICE in the media, was in a glass of scotch with airbrushed naked ladies in teh cubes?

jus_wonderin November 28, 2011 at 4:14 pm

I hear naked ladies enjoy the occasional subliminal.

bagofmice November 30, 2011 at 11:01 am

You should try the sublingual.

Master Janitor V572 November 28, 2011 at 4:16 pm

Poor old ICE, used to just be the Border Patrol, whose job was to desultorily catch the occasional Mexican. Then Lieberman moved 'em to DHS and pumped them up to where they have to have secrets'n'shit, including unconstitutional detainment, invasion of privacy, etc, just like the big kids at CIA and FBI get to do.

So here's another thing to blame Lieberman and Bush for.

And by the way, was Lieberman's monstrously disloyal speech at the 2008 Republican convention the price he had to pay to get Chimpy to agree to set up DHS as his personal fiefdom? Sure seems like it…

Geminisunmars November 28, 2011 at 4:30 pm

I will do all that — and wait until you see the treats I have for you!

Mort_Sinclair November 28, 2011 at 4:49 pm

Who do I have to blow around here to get deported to Norway?

littlebigdaddy November 28, 2011 at 8:56 pm

The consul general maybe? Well, to get a visa.

James Michael Curley November 28, 2011 at 5:06 pm

Can ICE send me to Iceland?

comrad_darkness November 28, 2011 at 5:37 pm

Congratulations Right Wing. You got what you wanted. A fucking police state.

HateMachine November 28, 2011 at 6:01 pm

Maybe we can just deport everyone, start fresh with an empty country. Or maybe make everyone leave but the natives. The ACTUAL natives.

comrad_darkness November 28, 2011 at 6:32 pm

Since the republicans have made this a banana republic, clearly Mr. Clarke simply didn't offer the ICE a big enough bribe.

Guppy November 28, 2011 at 6:52 pm

Didn't Cheech Marin produce a documentary about something similar back in the 1980's?

starfanglednut November 28, 2011 at 7:02 pm

I don't remember. I was too baked at the time.

littlebigdaddy November 28, 2011 at 8:57 pm

All I remember is the scene of him falling out of the van that is billowing smoke.

bagofmice November 30, 2011 at 11:03 am

Dave's not here man.

Redhead November 28, 2011 at 7:39 pm

Errrmmmm… when Ken goes on his long absences from posting (at least under his own name), he's not on one of these surprise vacations to South Redneckita, is he?

donner_froh November 28, 2011 at 9:47 pm

unidentified facility in South Dakota

New state motto: South Dakota, Amerikkka's Gulag.

datateday November 29, 2011 at 12:51 am

Sorry deportation folks, I happen to like my brownies so keep your fingers OFF OF THEM!

Jukesgrrl November 29, 2011 at 3:30 pm

OK, I admit it. I sneaked in from Italy. An apartment on the Piazza Navona. Return please.

ttommyunger November 29, 2011 at 4:11 pm

""…to an unidentified facility in South Dakota…" Not stated: "Private, for-profit facility".

bagofmice November 30, 2011 at 11:06 am

Well, what else are you going to do in a Dakota?

ttommyunger November 30, 2011 at 12:12 pm

Pray for death?

KeepFnThatChicken November 28, 2011 at 2:36 pm

Hey, they had it comin'. Did you see how unspoiled they looked?

Maman November 28, 2011 at 3:17 pm

The same can not be said of Winnipeg.

PalinzADummy November 28, 2011 at 8:16 pm

I want to go to Medicine Hat. Just so that, when I die, they can put on my grave "Went to Medicine Hat. Died anyway."

anniegetyerfun November 28, 2011 at 4:44 pm

They'd have trouble getting around the Constitution on that one – BUT if you can prove that a dark-skinned naturalized citizen committed a crime? BOOYAH. Conservaboner.

PalinzADummy November 28, 2011 at 8:50 pm

The best article on Teh Ghey Cootiez evah.

jqheywood November 28, 2011 at 10:00 pm

And, of cóurse, the NWT's Siberia is …. well, Siberia!

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