gifzette daily briefing

Americans Gobble Up Lard, Lenders Don’t Gobble Up German Debt

Happy T-Day 'Murica!NEW YORK—It’s Thanksgiving in America, which can only mean one thing: giant helium balloons have taken over New York City’s 7th Avenue for the 85th annual Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. OK, two things actually, since Thanksgiving in America also means crazy people pitching tents outside of Best Buy.

In other news, the Eurozone is running out of things to be thankful for today after a weak debt sale in Germany saw nearly half of the floated bonds fail to find a buyer. That sign of weakness from a stalwart in the European economy was followed by news this morning that Portugal just got slapped with a junk credit rating of BBB-, a rating that is significantly worse than a 2008 tranche of adjustable rate mortgages on million dollar homes sold to unemployed grocery store checkers.

James Murdoch has stepped down from the boards of the Sun, the Times and the Sunday Times, though this largely symbolic move is the Thanksgiving news equivalent of George W. Bush posing with a plastic turkey since Murdoch remains in charge of News International, the Times holding company.

We’d missed Tuesday’s column from Dana Milbank — seeing as we generally steer clear of the Washington Post op-ed page so as to avoid even so much as seeing Fred Hiatt’s name — but it’s probably worth a read considering it prompted a rather delightful Someone Is Wrong On The Internet moment from John McCain.

Did you know the average Bush tax cut for a One Percenter is greater than the total income of the average Ninety-Niner? We didn’t! Holy god. This might help explain why people have been protesting the past few months? Maybe? [READ MORE AT GIFZETTE]

Comments

Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • nounverb911

    I just heard that Niemen-Marcus is giving a free Ferrari to the first 10 1%ers through their doors tomorrow morning.

    • Master Janitor V572

      No, wrong, sorry. NYT informs us this morning that the 1-percenters do not shop in "Black Friday." At their paper, this is considered news you can use.

      Why do newspapers obsessively cover "news" about department store sales after Xgiving? Two reasons: (1) their advertisers demand it; and (2) the reporters can just rewrite the press releases without actually leaving their chairs. Win-win!

      • Serolf_Divad

        The article in question helpfully links to a Wall Mart Black Friday special on blenders that are cleverly disguised to look like coffee makers (Your guests will compliment you on your shiny new coffee maker… only you will know the secret).

        • Chichikovovich

          Man could I ever use one of those. It would perfectly complement my coffee maker that's disguised to look like a blender.

          • http://oliphantparts.org/ natoslug

            I just cover everything with my wife's knitted oversized dildo-cozies. Much more convenient than disguising them as other appliances, and now the dildoes are much more handy (albeit chilly).

          • not that Dewey

            It would be very embarrassing if anyone ever found out I have a toast-r-oven, which is why I have it disguised to look like a chair.

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

          Yet Another Thing No One Will Ever Need Designed To Look Like Something Else No One (Who Doesn't Already Have Four) Will Ever Use.

          This has been YOUR edition of Mornings Up Your Butt.

          Yes, we're in a pissy mood. The firewood's wet.

          • not that Dewey

            You should live here, where it never rains.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

            Dollink! Just a month ago I was pissing and moaning about how all my wildflowers were dying from lack of water!

            Life ain't worth living if you can't kvetch about it.

          • not that Dewey

            Okay, strike that. It just started raining, and now MY firewood is wet. The cats are all perplexed — "I want to go outside, but not in THAT. Make it stop". (they think I control the weather, and that I make it rain just to irritate them.)

          • Scottsdalian

            The cats told me you do shit like that. Stop it.

          • not that Dewey

            But I enjoy blowing their fuzzy, little minds.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

            Zingiber always took the rain as a personal insult. He would sit ON my feet (his 23-lb patented Butt O'Lard complete with Whiplike Tail of Mess Distraction) and HOWL right at my face, as if to say, "I thought we were FRENZ! So why for you make the WATER from Teh SKAIIIIIII!!!"

            It's raining now, and Madu(bedoobedoo) is sitting out there with the patented Stupid Ginger Cat expression on his face, as if to say "I R not dry. This R an insult." Too stupid to come in out of the rain. He has to be caught and carried in (not that he resists). Then he sits on this side of the door staring longingly out at the rain. What a doofus.

            Any gingers in your CatTribe? I find they're the sweetest, stupidest, most affectionate of the Feline Species.

          • not that Dewey

            I've never had a ginger (cat. plenty of ginger humans.) Mrs D has always wanted one, but it never quite worked out that way. Our cats tend to choose us, rather than the reverse. My sequence of cats thus far, and their respective provenances:

            Audrey 1990 – 2004 (white w/black spots, shelter in my mom's friend's house)

            Kurt 1994 – 2010 (undifferentiated brown tiger, son of the mouser in the deli across the street)

            Boo (Boutique, Squirmel) 2002 – present (undifferentiated grey tiger, wandered across the street at dusk, ribs showing, one month old)

            Mr. Glitch 2010 – present (grey w/ white belly and face, pink pads and nose, Little Suzie's pick (and naming rights) from the animal shelter)

            If one of those big orange tigers wanders up to the porch looking for love, we'll take him.

            These cats will typically come in out of the rain, but I often have to carry them to and set them down in front of a plate of turkey in order to get them to eat it. And Mr Glitch has no sense of self-preservation. Twice yesterday we had to pull him out of the wood-burning stove.

            Here he is, ~8 weeks old, when I entered him in kittenwar:
            http://kittenwar.com/kittens/203014/

            He is ever-so-slightly winning.

          • tessiee

            "as if to say "I R not dry. This R an insult." Too stupid to come in out of the rain. He has to be caught and carried in (not that he resists). Then he sits on this side of the door staring longingly out at the rain"

            One of mine, who has since gone on to her reward, used to sit in the water dish (what? for the love of god, why?), and then cry because her butt was wet.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

            She was a ginger? Ginger females are VERY rare (about 10% of all ginger cats are female), and very odd. Not very female-like at all in their behaviours. But then ginger cats are pretty fucking odd disirregardless.

            Sitting in the water dish is quite something, though. Zingiber never did that. But he did run away from his kibble, if it moved while he was eating it.

      • tessiee

        3) Since everybody is sitting around eating turkey and watching football, it's not like there's anything interesting to report.

        • poncho_pilot

          is that better or worse than eating footballs and watching turkeys?

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

            Unless you get the Florsheim Shoe Recycled version (which Chichikovovich assures us tastes like McRibz!), I reckon you're far better off eating the fucking turkey. Unless, of course, the turkey in question is one of yon Republican contenders, in which case, it's a fair bet you'll kack within minutes of chomping on 'em from the abundance of toxins, venom, and sheer unadulterated crassness in the first bite.

          • poncho_pilot

            i choose option D) tofurkey. if i have to choose–although that can be rubbery, too. eating Rage-infected Republicans can give you an ulcer and make you believe in Corporate Jesus. money lenders, money launderers.
            po-tay-to. po-tah-to.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

            Some of the extended familial units are vegetarian and some vegan, and I often make them a vegetarian thanksgiving meal, but tofurkey offends my sense of rightness. Tofu is a beautiful thing, tofurkey is an insult. Most western vegetarian food is not very good (unless you're cooking out of Moosewood, which is pretty damn fantastic, mostly, but very not-American-influenced). Indians do vegetarian like nobody, because they've been doing it for six thousand years, or sump'n.

          • poncho_pilot

            fair enough and i agree about Indian food. i'm neither vegetarian or vegan. vegan food makes me not want to eat ever again. sorry if that offends anyone. and i'm just not a fan of turkey. what can i say? i'm a pinko-commie libunatic! my sense of rightness allows for tofurkey. it's been a tradition for eight years or so. well…not this year. the spouse and i didn't care enough so i made green chile stew and sweet potato pie instead.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

            Totes agreement. Turkey is not very edible in its NuyoAmericano form. A giant mass of rubbery birdflesh. Makes me feel like I'm eating the last pterodactyl, or sumpn.

            Yay for the green chile stew, and definitely for the sweet potato pie!

          • poncho_pilot

            a giant mass of rubbery bird flesh? that's no way to talk about Newt.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

            That's a terrible insult to birds. Also, pterodactyls. Dinosaurs in general. Even rubber.

          • not that Dewey

            Did you ever see Molly Katzen's cooking show? She totally undermined my pitch for a teevee show called "The Mad Chef", in which an obviously psychotic chef would set out to prepare dishes with little or no intervention from the producers. Sometimes food would get made, sometimes it wouldn't. Sometimes there would just be batter all over the set and the cameras, insane muttering, and broken dishes everywhere.

            But then she came along and made all that unnecessary.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

            Now I *really really really* want to see Molly Katzen's cooking show.

            Although watching Julia Child mutter drunkenly on set was quite the edification, aka, why cook when sober? A sober Thanksgiving was had, and many thanks were given. But if you ever want to do a cooking show, I'm available. I put chopped tart cherries, soaked in brandy, into the potato/sweet potato saute, along with some nicely defatted prosciutto nuggets, and the marriage of sweet/salt was heavenly! I'm trademarking the recipe along with my Onion Jam (good for pork chops!).

          • ShaveTheWhales

            Also, Greens.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

            Fabulous. One of the exes (who is a professional chef) is good buddies with the professional chefs at Greens, and I used to get taken there of an occasion to get stuffed up with Truly Fabulous Food. Makes me regret kicking that one out of bed. Briefly.

          • Chichikovovich

            I can't take credit for that. I believe it was McRibzgood Baconzgood. I was just incorporating that vital information into my post-apocalyptic [i.e. Michele Bachmann first term] survival plan.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

            Right. (looks around nervously)

            Just remember, when it comes time to chow down on legs that might be floating by? Mine's the brown one with the metal knee (don't bite on that) and ntDewey's is the one with a missing piece on the calf. You don't want to just randomly chew down on people you might not even, you know, know socially, or anything like that. Dreadful faux pas.

          • poncho_pilot

            just as long as no one removes someone's McRib with the intent on creating a female partner. what you end up with is just a McRib Golem. not sexy at all.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

            No. Decidedly notsexxxay. She would taste like a recycled Florsheim shoe (or so says Chichikovovich. Or maybe Baconzgood. I forget which one of those moral reprobates it wuz).

          • chicken_thief

            I've always been torn over whether to serve red or white wine with footballs – suggestions/comments welcome!

          • Chichikovovich

            To judge from the saturation commercials every timeout, it seems you are supposed to serve the crappiest mass produced beer you can find, manufactured (the commercials also appear to be suggesting) out of the urine of draft-horses.

          • poncho_pilot

            if it comes down to eating footballs i think one might be forced to drink their own urine as it might be the closest relative of potable water you'll find post apocalypse. well, that and the blood of other humans. or draft horses.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

            You're a *cheerful* little lad, aren't you? Is the wife on Wonkette yet? I want to talk to her about what might have rendered you so … apocalyptic.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

            I would have thought a nice, young Sterno.

          • ShaveTheWhales

            Suitcases of Bud Lite. Didn't you read Ken's last instructions?

        • KeepFnThatChicken

          Football? What's that?

          (Sorry, I don't abide by football. And to those who do, you have my permission to get bent.)

          • tessiee

            "Football? What's that?"

            Don't ask ME, I don't even know what end of the racket you're supposed to hold!

          • KeepFnThatChicken

            That's one fast reply. I take it that Wonkette & Facebook is cheaper than antipsychotics, while the game is goin' on and no one's saying a god. damn. thing. to each other after chowing down, eh?

    • Walkinwiddaking

      If I have my manservant wait in line at Neiman Marcus can I still be considered a 1 percenter?

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

        If he looks ANYTHING like Dirk Bogarde, for GOD'S sake, don't trust him!

        • Walkinwiddaking

          You mean Raymond Shaw or the manservant?

          • Walkinwiddaking

            Mea Culpa, mixing up my English actors.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

            If you haven't already seen the film, I highly recommend it. The direction and camera-work are excellent, the acting is superb. Dirk Bogarde is just fantastic, I don't think I even appreciated him until about a decade ago. The film is absolutely CREEPY in the best way. Bizarre, sinister, and not for the squeamish.

            I squeamed.

      • tessiee

        That depends… Is your manservant named Torgo?

        • KeepFnThatChicken

          What is up with his knees?!

          • poncho_pilot

            i ordered this pizza three hours ago and it's still warm…

          • BarackMyWorld

            Needz moar chocolate bunny guillotine.

          • KeepFnThatChicken

            …his only crime was being delicious!

    • sbj1964

      I heard that 1% 'ers bite the heads off of live chickens in church yards by the full moon.

    • GregComlish

      I just heard Bachman-Marcus is giving away free rims

      • chicken_thief

        But they're only allowing rentbois in – what gives?!!!

    • Scottsdalian

      I'd rather they were out creatin' jobs. But that's just me.

  • chascates

    Wait till they start paying German workers with wheelbarrows full of marks again!

    • memzilla

      I can't remember the silent film the scene is from, but I remember the scene vividly:

      Young woman, Clara Bow type, dressed like a secretary, purseful of marks, slowly edging her way forward in a line outside of the butcher shop. As she edges forward, the butcher periodically comes outside, erases the prices, and chalks up higher ones. It's a race!

      By the time she gets to the door, the price is higher than the marks she has, and she just gives a sigh, shakes her head, and walks away dejected.

      Which is why I lurv OWS.

      • user-of-owls

        You laugh, but my Argentine friends have told me that this was exactly what happened every time they went to the store, grocery or otherwise, during the economic collapse in 2002. The way they tell it, the stores quickly gave up writing prices down and instead hired young women to perch near the front with a microphone and blurt out the minute-by-minute prices for the canasta basica (basic food basket). Why young women? They seemed to be less inviting a target for shoppers' wrath. But just in case, they sat in wire cages.

    • Serolf_Divad

      Quick, grab a one Euro note while you still can, they're about to become as rare as speakers of Esperanto.

      • http://www.storycorner.us/ JustPixelz

        Mi pensas ke ne.

        • doloras

          Vivu la samideanoj!

        • Negropolis

          Que?

      • paris biltong

        Already so. Smallest euro notes are fives.

    • MiniMencken

      Und I still haf a hundert millionen mark note from when my grandfather was in Weimar Germany in 1923. Gut zeitsen, gut zeitsen…

    • Negropolis

      They better be careful. If prices get too high, they might start paying in surveyor's marks…and maybe in some Iron Curtain Czechs.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

        The Czech is in the male …

  • memzilla

    Principal / Principle Zen Moment: I've always been amused that the financial institutions who base their existence on the one have none of the other.

    • tessiee

      Clever wordplay FTW!

  • hagajim

    It's Thanksgiving and I'm thankful that all those jerb creators get to keep their monies…not.

  • BarackMyWorld

    I'm thankful for the Gifzette. That shit's awesome.

  • bagofmice

    That's easily three links to the same wsj article.

    • SexySmurf

      If I didn't know better I would think someone from News Corp. hacked into Wonkette. But that would be silly.

      • Lionel[redacted]Esq

        Thankfully, the Murdoch family remands in absolute control of all their American holdings, so we know nothing like that could possibly happen.

  • Fukui_sanYesOta

    I think something's wrong with the links at the moment – they all go to the Murdoch story?

    • ChuckieJesus

      Yeah, for real, I really want sauce on that Bush Tax Cuts thing…

    • Callyson

      Same thing happened to me.
      Then again, I'm grateful that a Murdoch is resigning from something…

    • sbj1964

      Careful Murdoch might have this site bugged.

  • sbj1964

    Thanksgiving parades bite . Start the football game already !

  • SexySmurf

    crazy people pitching tents outside of Best Buy.

    Sounds like someone got the extended warranty (if you know what I mean).

    That's a dick joke in case you don't know what I mean.

    • OneDollarJuana

      If people are really pitching tents outside of Best Buy, they need to be pepper-sprayed immediately! #OBB

      • chicken_thief

        A condiment for wood eaters?

  • CliveWarren

    Sasha Obama seems to be the only sane person in that turkey-gif at Gifzette…
    The "What The Fucking Shit Is Going On Here"-look on her face gives me hope…

  • Geminisunmars

    Occupy Best Buy!

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Did the rEVOLution blimp make the Macy's Parade?

    I can't think of a better cartoon character, unless it is Santorm. And, ooh. Don't want to see a balloon of that.

    • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

      Wasn't rEVOLution was just a mental form of Santorum?

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

      No. No santorum blimps.

    • tessiee

      "Santorm. And, ooh. Don't want to see a balloon of that"

      I thought the purpose of balloons was to prevent santorum??

  • sbj1964

    The right wing Republican elites want to refer to the 1% as Job Creators? Really, Job creators ? The 1% is failing miserably. So where are the JOBS ? Why not call them what they really are? Aristocracy. American Corporations are sitting on over 2 trillion in profits,but would rather put it out in manipulated stock dividends than invest in their own country a short term greedy strategy. They know when they run a company into the ground;the Republican party will be there to bail them out with money from the middle class that are now out of work because of they're incompetence.

    • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

      That's pretty much what the 1% wanted since FDR. A new feudal age where the 1% has everything and the 99% get stuck cleaning up and in many cases eating their shit.

      • Chichikovovich

        I can't remember which robber baron it was who said (something like) that the best way to get good work at low wages from your workers was to have a long line of unemployed at the door. The contemporary Job Destroyers are looking for that paradise for bosses: pay just a hair above starvation wages to workers who are desperate to get even that. Fire 'em if they ever get sick, or get injured or just look at you funny. Or you just get a kick out of firing people every now and then for no reason.

        The difference between now and then is that even Jay Gould and Big Jim Fisk, for all of their sleazy dealings with Tammany Hall, didn't manage to get the government to shovel taxpayers money into their operations every time they made a misstep. That's the difference between the Robber Barons of the old days and the Robber Kings of today.

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

          Haha! I used to work for a very well-known corporation that routinely fires the bottom 10% of its workforce annually. Regardless of how good they are by objective standards. The argument being that they're culling the bottom of the herd. It's all well and good till you find yourself in the bottom 10% for reasons outside your control.

          • not that Dewey

            See? Job Creators. If they hadn't fired those 10%, that many more people wouldn't be able to take over their jobs at half the pay!

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

            Here's the haha part. I kept telling my colleagues we needed to unionize, and they kept saying (libertarians to the last noodlehead) that we were educated, white-collar workers who didn't NEED unions. Then we found out that our company was one of the biggest supporters of the H visa program, and they were hiring all these engineers from India and Russia (where there is free tertiary education for the deserving) at about half our salaries, and our remaining job was to train them to take over our jobs so the company could boot our overpaid asses out the door.

            So the funny!

          • not that Dewey

            Knee-slapper.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

            Individually, they were really nice people (our replacements), although they seemed puzzled as to why the US government wasn't offering its citizens a free tertiary education, like their, much poorer nations. And, of course, they were all frighteningly overeducated. Double masters in math and chemistry with an MBA and a PhD in computer science, that sort of thing. Appallingly overeducated for their own economies, of course, which makes you wonder if education itself isn't a massive conspiracy.

          • tessiee

            "Individually, they were really nice people (our replacements)"

            I remember once talking to "Sean" (yeah right) in Mumbai, and he said that some people who called got mad at him because the call center took jobs away from the US. I would hope I'm more inclined to blame the people who actually created, and profit from, the situation.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

            I used to be a jerk and get mad at them too, until it dawned on me (finally) that my employers hadn't moved my job there for shits and giggles, or to benefit the poor yob who was on the other end of the phone.

            Of course, our OligarchicOverlords weren't quite so blatant about it back then, either. They've gotten head-rollingly cheeky of late.

          • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

            I believe I hear the siren song of Six Sigma? Jack Welch is an egotistical asshole and his so-called CEO factory produces fail.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

            They're all royal assholes. Few and far between have been the decent ones.

          • tessiee

            "I used to work for a very well-known corporation that routinely fires the bottom 10% of its workforce annually."

            I personally know of one that routinely gets rid of employees when they get close to retirement age by "eliminating their positions". Once the offending old fart is out the door, the positions mysteriously get reinstated.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

            Oh yes. Mysteriously reopened headcount. I love that.

            Or when they openly lay a paper trail for those employees they want to get rid of. I will say that one particular SillyValley giant (fortunately) had a habit of firing managers instead of lowly workers, which was great for us workers, but to their surprise, they had a perennial shortage of managers.

          • Chichikovovich

            When I hear stories like this I always wonder how many of the top 10% of their workforce leaves annually because they are good enough to get lots of other offers and they find it intolerably unpleasant to work in an environment designed and run by sociopathic assholes.

            I have a hunch that that factor isn't taken into account in their management studies.

          • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

            I spent 18 years at a Fortune 100 and one thing I learned beyond the shadow of a doubt: the personal characteristics most likely to move someone up the ladder in a corporate setting are considered to be pathological in everyday interpersonal relationships.

            Example: Of all the managers I ever had, the one who was promoted the most times most quickly (and was eventually snapped up by Jack Welch's organization — ha ha) had the worst case of attention deficit disorder I have ever seen in a functioning adult. No way did this guy EVER consider all possibilities in making a decision. 1. He didn't know what they were since he never listened for more than five minutes to anyone who worked for him, and 2. he was incapable of thinking an issue all the way through. Every decision was made on the fly without full consideration — yet he was thought to be a genius. He WAS good looking, quite the talker, and very athletic. Those characteristics — and his complete faith in his own infallibility — made him a hale fellow well met and everybody bowed down to him.

          • user-of-owls

            Strangely, I do not find this information to be personally rewarding.

          • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

            I think he became my CEO… and then totaled the company.

            The GE-niuz I worked for bragged about running marathons and only getting 4 hours of sleep a night (just like Napoleon!) Lots of eye rolling and snickers about "size" issues. Problem was the guy had no GE-niuz for the actual nuts and bolts of operations and made poor decisions probably because he never got enough sleep.

            Now all he does is write articles in the Wall St Journal demanding that jerbs should be created for "talented" people (ie: him.) Loser.

          • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

            My guy couldn't write letters — or anything else. In fact, writing his correspondence (that he never once checked over) was one of my jobs. I'm surprised he could spell his children's names. Once when I prepared testimony for him to read before Congress, I joked with my friends that I gave him a piece of paper that said, "Does anyone have any spare Springsteen tickets?"

        • tessiee

          "I can't remember which robber baron it was who said (something like) that the best way to get good work at low wages from your workers was to have a long line of unemployed at the door"

          "I can hire one half of the working class to kill the other half" — Jay Gould

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

        Anusburger, anyone?

    • tessiee

      "The right wing Republican elites want to refer to the 1% as Job Creators? Really, Job creators ? The 1% is failing miserably"

      We've been living in Bizarro Land since the Reagan Empire. Up is down, black is white, dismantling unions is standing up for the worker, and sending jobs overseas is creating jobs.

      • Swampgas_Man

        Pizza sauce is a vegetable.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

        I'm beginning to think it happened long before Reagan. Reading Gettleman's Vietnam and America: A Documented History, and the brazen lies of the State Department leave me gasping. These assholes flat-out LIED to the American people, REPEATEDLY, about EVERYTHING. EVERYthing. And as bad as they were, the US military was even worse (at least the people at the top).

        • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

          And don't forget about the CIA. Personal playground of some totally psychopathic individuals.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

            Among them, one George Herbert Walker Bush. Li'l Georgie didn't get ALL his crazies from his crazy mama. How do these people sleep at night? How do they live with these endless lies on their conscience?

            I know, WTF am I talking about, they don't *have* a conscience.

          • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

            I know. I stressed so much about Valerie Plame, if for no other reason than that they placed the mother of two small children in absolutely needless peril. Then one day I thought, "These are people who murder other humans "just in case." Why would I NOT expect them to behave this way?

  • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    What I'm thankful for? In no particular order:

    Few if any Paultards (as fun as they were they were fucking draining)
    Friends
    Family (sometimes)
    Sometimes reason wins over greed
    Finding ways to remain sane in an insane world
    The intertubes (more than just porn, but not much more)
    Good health
    Good booze
    Good food
    Realizing that my 1st World Problems aren't a big deal

    • Grief_Lessons

      Plus, you may be a Canadian who fucked off work to get loaded and watch football on American Thanksgiving.

      • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

        Just an unemployed Canada City Bum, not a Footbawl fan (don't watch unless I'm hungover).

        • flamingpdog

          I figured you were a Canadian the minute your mentioned your 1st World problems.

    • Nothingisamiss

      Snark as we will, these are thingsto be thankful for.

    • chicken_thief

      Excellent list! Might I add that I am thankful that of the handful of GOP candidates that the Lord chose to speak to personally, I am thankful that he left the Grifter Queen off the list of Chosen Ones. Is He saving some comedy for 2016? Who knows?!

  • Bluestatelibel

    Speaking of our beloved 1% and global economic disasters, I'm reminded of Charlie Rose's recent interview of Warren Buffet. The more dire the economic picture Charlie painted, the more Buffet was giggling like a school girl. It sent a chill down my spine, because I have a feeling these 1 percenters are psychopaths at heart, or are compensating for some severe childhood abuse or neglect. There's a decent chance it could all end up for badly for them, so let them laugh I guess.

    • sbj1964

      Viva the Revolution !

    • Biff

      A bad day for a 1%er would still beat the best day life I could ever dream of, so pretty much, just fuck them.

    • Negropolis

      Buffet, like any good zillionaire, knows how to profit off both the good and bad times. I think the difference is that he never murdered in cold blood his conscience in its crib, if even he keeps it just slightly out of earshot most of the time. You can't grow up in a place like Omaha and have some kind of grounding force. The Heartland gets a lot of shit for being what it is, but it ain't the South, let me tell you, in terms of its ideas of wealth distribution and work ethic.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      I think they look at life as a game. A game they know they're winning so why not laugh. A few of them have enough of a conscience to tip the waitstaff and croupiers, but not enough of one to actually share. Buffet is a great example. He's doesn't feel the need to leave his entire fortune to his kids, he's giving most away Carnegie-style, yet he feels the need to continue amassing it.

      Example: When his Geico customer service center in Tucson got the best results of any of his centers nationwide, Buffet made a personal trip here to thank the workforce. And how did he do that? He hired a Dairy Queen truck to accompany him and let all the workers choose the ice cream treat of their choice to enjoy in his presence. No bonuses. No promotions. Dilly Bars. And daddy will go home with another pocket full of cash he will later bequeath to someone he never met.

      • Negropolis

        Example: When his Geico customer service center in Tucson got the best results of any of his centers nationwide, Buffet made a personal trip here to thank the workforce. And how did he do that? He hired a Dairy Queen truck to accompany him and let all the workers choose the ice cream treat of their choice to enjoy in his presence. No bonuses. No promotions. Dilly Bars. And daddy will go home with another pocket full of cash he will later bequeath to someone he never met.

        You know, I've heard him doing stuff like this, and I've always wondered if it was him being consciously greedy, or if he belives in his heart-of-hearts that this kind of creative surprise is better than a monetary treat? My gut tells me that he just doesn't get it. My head says that he's as cynical as the rest of them, and its his way of appearing like a magnanimous grandfather/parental figure, but also a way of saving his pennies.

      • tessiee

        "Buffet made a personal trip here to thank the workforce. And how did he do that? He hired a Dairy Queen truck to accompany him and let all the workers choose the ice cream treat of their choice to enjoy in his presence. No bonuses. No promotions. Dilly Bars."

        ^
        This? This right here and stuff like it? Is why any workplace that says they're like a family is a big, giant, red flag. "Family" means they think they're the parents, you're the child, and that envelope you get every other Friday is your allowance, not money that you, an adult professional, earned for work you did. I already have one dysfunctional family, I don't need another one in charge of my livelihood.

        • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

          YES!

  • tessiee

    Huh huh, you said "pitching a tent".

    • BarackMyWorld
      • tessiee

        No matter how many times I hear that, it never fails to crack me up.

  • paris biltong

    I believe I make this comment every year, but one thing I give thanks for is that there is no Thanksgiving in these part.

    • Negropolis

      Why?

  • Troubledog

    I, for one, am thankful for our financial overlords as I once again have availability to perform various antics or gray market tech projects on their behalf, beginning around Dec 19th or so.

    Just hit me up here and we'll get busy.

  • Schmannnity

    And at 2:16 pm on Thanksgiving, Chris Christie has just started in on his third turkey and second gallon of mashed potatoes.

    • Lionel[redacted]Esq

      Why do you think Christie supports Romney? It's because he knows that without socialized medicine, no one is going to insure him. Under the rest, his ass will be on an ice flow so fast it won't know what hit it.

      • tessiee

        "Why do you think Christie supports Romney? … socialized medicine"

        Well, that, and the weekend in the hotel room, er-uh, comparing ties.

    • Swampgas_Man

      He's cutting back, out of consideration for the poor.

    • Negropolis

      You forgot the bathtub of cranberry sauce, and a half-dozen pallets of pumpkin pies.

    • poncho_pilot

      turducken wrapped in orphan.

      • Negropolis

        No, no, no. There is still room. You stuff the orphan inside the chicken.

        Mmmm…Turduckorfan.

        • poncho_pilot

          how about this?

          ostrich–>orphan–>turkey–>duck–>chicken–>baby

          ostriphanturduckenby?

    • sbj1964

      You forgot about the fact that Chris Christie is washing down his meal with his 3rd glass of Gravy .

    • chicken_thief

      You have to admire his restraint. Maybe this year he won't need the state chopper to airlift him to the couch to nap/watch a little football between sittings.

  • owhatever

    Please take a moment to commemorate the specialness of this day by killing an Indian.

    • SorosBot

      But I already did so in October to celebrate Columbus day!

      • not that Dewey

        No, on Columbus Day you're just supposed to cut off their hands and rape them. At least in my family.

        • user-of-owls

          But geez, have some class and don't wear white.

          • not that Dewey

            That's right. Out of respect for Columbus, who didn't have OxyClean.

          • user-of-owls

            The Wampanoag did, though. They just wouldn't share it with the filthy dago. And that's why America genocided the Indians.

            That's what Bachmann told me anyway.

          • not that Dewey

            The Europeans at that time were still suffering under the delusion that "protein gets out protein".

    • http://www.storycorner.us/ JustPixelz

      The people of Paki-paki-paki-stan-stan thank you.

      • Chichikovovich

        No, no. Those Indians are supposed to be killed on Partition day.

        • user-of-owls

          That's just a vicious rumor designed to discredit the Indians that was invented by Taliban Casinos, LLC. For obvious reasons.

  • Indiepalin

    Those turkeys are STILL hitting the pavement like sacks of wet cement.

    • MozakiBlocks

      The last eight minutes or so of that episode is some of the funniest, most brilliant TV ever.

    • BarackMyWorld

      As God as my witness, I thought turkeys could fly.

  • Lucidamente1

    Let me interrupt my drinking long enough to say: I'm thankful for Wonkette, its writers and its commentariat.

  • Chichikovovich

    " Thanksgiving in America also means crazy people pitching tents outside of Best Buy."

    Bring out the pepper spray!!!

    • not that Dewey

      "We're not camping, and this is our permit."

    • BarackMyWorld

      Pitching a tent inside Best Buy might get you kicked out…if you know what I mean….

      • Negropolis

        Some of the gadget geeks just can't help getting a tech-boner on Black Friday.

    • tessiee

      Once again, reality outstrips snark. This happened in (surprise!) Walmart.

  • SorosBot

    Semi-OT, but this headline shocked me today; that Occupy Wall Street has gotten support from, of all 1%-er celebrities, Miley Cyrus. It looks like she's getting political – and against the right-wing views of Billy Ray.

    • Numbat_Dundee

      Just don't tell his heart.

      • ProgressiveInga

        Thanks alot, Numbat. Now I have an ache-y break-y brain worm. You suck.

    • SexySmurf

      Not that surprising. Her paternal grandfather, who she was very close to, was a big muckety-muck in the Kentucky AFL-CIO for many years.

      Don't ask me why I know so much about Miley Cyrus.

      • flamingpdog

        You're lucky – I know so much about Kathie Lee Gifford. Don't ask.

        • Negropolis

          Kathie Lee Grifter has a way of burrowing into the American consciousness. Regis got rid of her and she still wouldn't go away, bless her heart.

          • flamingpdog

            True fact. I have a picture of Kathie Lee Gifford in my senior year high school yearbook. She had a folk group in high school named Pennsylvania Next Right that came and performed at my high school during the school day one day when I was a senior (out of class for everyone – Woo hoo!).

    • Negropolis

      Not much of a surprise. Not sure how I know this, but she came out for gay marriage some months back. I'd always assumed she was just like most other young people, regardless of where they live, and by that I mean more liberal than their parents.

    • http://www.gurukalehuru.wordpress.com gurukalehuru

      She gets the best of both worlds.

  • Chichikovovich

    "Portugal just got slapped with a junk credit rating of BBB-, a rating that is significantly worse than a 2008 tranche of adjustable rate mortgages on million dollar homes sold to unemployed grocery store checkers."

    Well sure it's lower but you'd expect that, since all those tranches got AAA, and they only got that because Moodys and S&P didn't have any higher rating they could give.

  • Chichikovovich

    "Did you know the average Bush tax cut for a One Percenter is greater than the total income of the average Ninety-Niner?"

    FOX News headline: "Average Bush Tax Cut for Job Creators: More than Enough to Create One Job!!!"

    • paris biltong

      If your average 99-percenter just worked a little harder, this would not be the case.

    • tessiee

      "Did you know the average Bush tax cut for a One Percenter is greater than the total income of the average Ninety-Niner?"

      Which will appear on Fox as proof that the 1% pays the 99% too much.

  • sati_demise
  • Sue4466

    Why aren't the Germans taking the day off? It's Thanksgiving. How unpatriotic of them.

  • Numbat_Dundee

    When are those hippies in Occupy Best Buy going to get pepper sprayed?

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

    On this special day of thanks, Fox wants us to give thanks for the 1%
    http://nation.foxnews.com/occupy-wall-street/2011

    • RadiosTyrone

      The only thing worse than the 1% scum is the lickspittle's who attend to them.

      America is still a free enough country where most of its 1% earn their success–through superior productivity that benefits us all.

      If there's one thing we need it's a 300 trillion dollar unregulated derivatives market. How productive of them.

      • not that Dewey

        You mean I can't eat unregulated derivatives? Even with mustard gas?

        • RadiosTyrone

          Try some vegetable mist on it.

          • Biff

            I coulda hadda V-8?

          • not that Dewey

            Take the Last Train to Scoville.

      • tessiee

        "I, for one, welcome our billionaire overlords" — Stupid People

    • Fukui_sanYesOta

      I thought you were fucking joking until I read it.

      Holy shit, they're not even pretending any more. It really is just "oh, fuck you poors. You're not licking the boots hard enough. That's better. Now die in the gutter."

      Ugh. Nauseating.

      • RadiosTyrone

        Srsly, it's worse than old turkey.

    • BarackMyWorld
  • elfgoldsackring

    What the effing eff is a Gifzette? Is Wonkett outsourcing to the Phillipines now?

    • littlebigdaddy

      A Gizzfest?

    • tessiee

      "What the effing eff is a Gifzette?"

      A charming French female Gif who lives in Paris, like that movie Amelie.

  • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ donner_froh

    German government bond yields hit their highest in nearly a month and world stocks held near 7-week lows Thursday

    OK, this is just a snapshot of what is happening on this particular day during the final collapse of capitalism but it shows how the entire financial edifice is underwritten by tiny amounts of capital–or, more accurately, the willingness of everyone to simply ignore that reality.

    But–does anyone really think that there is a way to deal with the coming avalanche of defaults, national bankruptcies and economic catastrophe under the present system or anything like it? Ain't gonna happen.

    However, I am thankful that for the first time in a few years I didn't burn the hell out of my hands through mishandling a 300 degree Pyrex baking dish on Thanksgiving.

    • sati_demise

      ack. the end is terrifying. Third party derivatives in an unregulated black pool market was such a good idea.

    • DahBoner

      You can afford gas to cook with?

      • Scottsdalian

        Elitist

  • ProgressiveInga

    I. Am. Full.

  • paris biltong

    Good to see a news roundup in the Wonket, where it had been sorely missed since Morning in America went out of fashion. The scariest thing on he current Gifzette is the last item about New York children going hungry. "With the number of needy families on the rise, some are pointing the finger at the economy" it reads in the source. Like the economy is some immovable abstract force. I'd say maybe something along the line of "With the number of needy families on the rise, some are pointing the finger at capitalism, now in its final stage."

    • tessiee

      "With the number of needy families on the rise, some are pointing the finger at the economy"

      How silly. Everyone knows the poorz are poor because they don't understand good old Amurrkin values like hard work, thrift, and personal responsibility, amirite?

  • user-of-owls

    I for one am outraged by your callous decision to run this story on Thanksgiving.

    Germans don't eat turkey!
    There's a reason we don't call it "Dankesgeben"!
    You know who else Merkel was intimate with??

    • RadiosTyrone

      The Bilderbergers?

    • not that Dewey

      Ulrich?

    • SpiderCrab

      Bonzo?

    • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

      Germans eat turkey. They just have a different word for it: "Gastarbeiter."

      • RadiosTyrone

        They leave lebensraum in their bellies for it.

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

          By the time it's time for Tom Turkey to get in there, ain't no leben left in that raum.

        • Negropolis

          Oh, that was so bad in such a good way. lol

      • user-of-owls

        To be fair, by the time you get to the third generation or so, the whole "gast" designation becomes a tad untenable.

        Plus: Donner kebab?! Really?!

    • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ donner_froh

      Joachim Sauer?

    • tessiee

      Duhbya? He certainly felt free to paw her in public.

    • GregComlish

      Her twin sister Angela Lansbury?

    • Scottsdalian

      "You know who else Merkel was intimate with?? "

      Never use "Merkel" and "intimate" in the same sentance ever again. Ughh.

  • http://wonkette.com/ Monsieur_Grumpe

    Oops didn't mean to delete that.
    Shouldn't type and drink.

  • chascates

    Those wacky Chinese animators take on the cost of Thanksgiving: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o-FO7At7SDc
    Cost of Thanksgiving climbs to $50!

    • flamingpdog

      Damn, I made it all the way to 9:10 PM without a drink …

  • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

    Wie sagt man "Kreditausfallversicherungen" auf Englisch?

    • x111e7thst

      Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahg!11!

      • sbj1964

        Looks like David Hasselhoff been drinking again?

    • ShaveTheWhales

      "Oh, fuck".

  • DahBoner

    It's like the Buddy system.

    The next time you feel like eatting a 4500 calorie meal with 229 grams of fat, give your buddy a call.

    P.s. The first Pilgrims who came to America were FRENCH, who spoke FRENCH and probably ate FRENCH food today.

    • tessiee

      "The next time you feel like eatting a 4500 calorie meal with 229 grams of fat, give your buddy a call."

      So that she can bring the whipped cream?

    • sati_demise

      No, the first were the Spanish

    • user-of-owls

      The first pilgrims who came to America were MONGOLIAN, who spoke MONGOLIAN and probably ate YOGHURT in their YURT today.

      p.s. and they WALKED here!
      p.p.s. unless you're talking about those queers with the retarded hats and the white panty hose…and they ate fucking EELS!

      • BarackMyWorld

        The Simpsons did it first.

        • user-of-owls

          What the fuck's that hussy Wallis got to do with it?

          • ShaveTheWhales

            Now you've become so obscure, you've abdicated your responsibility as a Wonketeer.

          • Nothingisamiss

            Now that you've become so obscure you've UPPED your responsibility as a Wonketeer.

      • DahBoner

        Mmmm….grilled eel with soy sauce!

        OK, WHEREZ TEH MONGOLIAM BBQ THEN?

  • ttommyunger

    Twin ten-year old grandkids in from Tampa for the Holidays. Twenty little fingers all over everything in the house non fucking stop. God forgive me, but I'm glad to see their bony little asses heading out the door going home.

    • RadiosTyrone

      At least they weren't regurgitating teabagger talking points during the football games.

      • ttommyunger

        THAT TRULY WOULD BE HELL!

    • flamingpdog

      Try twin almost-four-year olds. At least I convinced my daughter to have it at her house (I brought the food) instead of my oversized cardboard box condominium. Had fun, but came back home, sat down in the front of the computer monitor, and slept sitting up for an hour.

      • ttommyunger

        I can relate.

  • El Pinche

    Once again Gabrielle Giffords is a bad ass even on thanksgiving:
    http://www.politico.com/news/stories/1111/69092.h

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      Almost everyone in here in Tucson got such a charge out of that. (We will always have our "she should resign" shitheads.) No more so that the organizers at Davis-Monthan AFB who said they expected someone from Gabby's office to show up but were stunned when they were told their invitation had been accepted by "Representative Giffords and Commander Kelly." The U of A baseball caps went over really big, too. Someone in that family is a PR genius.

      • user-of-owls

        I'm thankful that we somehow occasionally elect decent, good people to office. Even in Arizona.

    • ShaveTheWhales

      Wow.

  • littlebigdaddy

    Do you know who *else* was sentimental about animals raised for meat?

    • nounverb911

      Buffalo Bob Smith?

    • Chichikovovich

      Kortney?

    • ChernobylSoup

      Catherine the Great?

    • ThundercatHo

      Charlotte the spider?

      • Negropolis

        WIN

        /thread

    • user-of-owls

      Ming the Meatless?

    • BarackMyWorld

      Pamela Anderson?

    • tessiee

      Those asshats at PETA?

  • Negropolis

    Fourty-three million turkeys gave their lives so this one could live.

    By his gravy, we are forgiven. This is my body; eat me, he implores. Turkey-Jesus Saves! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hosannna! Hosanna in the highest!

    Thanksgiving in America also means crazy people pitching tents outside of Best Buy.

    I've seen these dudes out there, and it's not always just on Thanksgiving…

    • RadiosTyrone

      If it was a Butterball sacrifice, it would be Halallujah. Sweet Sharia!

    • Biff

      Urban camping, it's all the rage.

      • Negropolis

        'twas a dick joke, Biff; 'twas a dick joke.

  • RadiosTyrone

    Halal Ranchers?

  • datateday

    How about that guy who thinks the meaning of Thanksgiving is not to hire people until the president's out of office? Not very neighborly and giving, now is he?

  • Negropolis

    Two more holidays left, this year: Occupy Black Friday and Occupy Christmas. This time when you sit in Santa's lap at the mall, DON'T LEAVE! Show this co-opted, corporatist puppet what it means to be naughty instead of nice. I hear the sneaky bastard is manufacturing and amassing great stocks of Weapons of Mass Destruction at his supposedly civilian factory up at the North Pole. We must fight him up there, so that we don't have to fight them down here at home.

    • finallyhappy

      I was in the elevator with Santa the other day- I think he was Vietnamese. Most of the kids who visit that mall are Hispanic so I wondered why they hired an Asian guy.

      • not that Dewey

        "I don't know that all of you are Latino. Some of you look a little more Asian to me."

        -Sharron "Mrs Claus" Angle

    • Scottsdalian

      Bomb their asses.

  • sati_demise

    Alessio Rastani
    UNCONFIRMED: Two of the world's largest financial institutions are on the brink of collapse – one of them facing bankruptcy by end of January 2012. Both of these firms are heavily exposed to JUNK EUROPEAN DEBT and they are classed as TBTF. Inside sources say that a THIRD bank is also involved – and the third bank is NOT based in Greece, Spain or Italy – but in the UK. The systemic risk posed by this UK firm is estimated as MF Global x 10 – placing many hedge funds at huge risk. <—– (I have no idea whether the information is true, I cannot confirm it, but I can say it comes from reliable and trusted inside City sources. I cannot disclose any names of firms for legal reasons). My feeling is this information may be priced in since Monday's decline.

    • user-of-owls

      I'd find this a bit alarming if not for the fact that Rastani is a huckster of epic proportions.

  • GregComlish

    Dear Wonketteers,

    I was doing some personal business on the internet, when I stumbled upon a nude tumblr photo of a girl I know. She clearly consented to the photo being taken, but I doubt that she meant for it to be distributed online. Should I send her an anonymous note about this or just keep it to myself?

    • user-of-owls

      You are fortunate that I saw your message. The very first thing you should do is to mail that photograph (and any others) to owls@user.owls.com.edu.net for expert analysis. The next thing you should do is to forward your acquaintance's home address to the same email account.

    • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

      Sometimes you just know injustice in your gut. But sometimes you want to weigh all the evidence in order to make an informed decision. Therefore, I need you to post a link to the photo before I can advise you on this moral quandary.

      • user-of-owls

        Frist!!

        • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

          I for one welcome our new vegetative human overlords.

          • DahBoner

            We iz vegetables!

    • KathrynSane

      Please send an anonymous note. Not just because it's an invasion of privacy (to put it lightly) if she didn't mean for it to be put online, but also because it's better to learn it's online through a kind note than from an employer or blackmailer or something. The internet ruins lives!

    • Scottsdalian

      Give it to me. I'll take care of it.

      • GregComlish

        Guys just go to tumblr they have all the skin/hair/mucous membranes you would ever want to see.

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    But let's talk about what's really important. What did Tim Tebow have for dinner?

    • user-of-owls

      Communion wafers.

    • hebmskebm
      • user-of-owls

        That article is one heapin' helpin' of awfulness, top to bottom. As a Penis-American, I found this passage to be particularly chilling:

        By the end of an exhausting day, he was wearing gloves and a mask, wielding surgical scissors, and helping the doctors in the circumcision of boys, finishing off stitches with a snip.

        • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

          I hope he was more accurate with the circumcisions then he is with throwing a football more than three yards down the field.

          • user-of-owls

            We'll know the answer to that if in 20 years or so the village experiences an inexplicable population crash.

    • Negropolis

      Jesus?

      Isn't that the answer to every Tim Tebow question?

      • RadiosTyrone

        Necrophilia. Eat my body, drink my blood.

    • not that Dewey

      We'll just have to wait for Matt Lauer's expert analysis.

  • DahBoner

    Republicans claim we live in a post racial America, but check this out:

    White people get to buy things 364 days a year, but Black people only get ONE DAY to buy shit…

    • BarackMyWorld

      ISWYDT.

    • Scottsdalian

      Better hurry.

    • tessiee

      "White people get to buy things 364 days a year, but Black people only get ONE DAY to buy shit.."

      See, white people shop like this:
      [nerdy]
      Meh meh meh..

      But black people be shoppin' like THIS:
      [cool]
      Sup, sup, sup…

  • chascates

    And be sure to review miraculous pepper spray on Amazon:
    http://www.amazon.com/Defense-Technology-56895-St

  • chascates

    Opinion: Let's Give Thanks for the One Percent
    http://nation.foxnews.com/occupy-wall-street/2011

    • BarackMyWorld

      Maniacal laugh. Maniacal laugh.

  • Blueb4sunrise

    Eliminate the bureaucracy of Mayors, police, Chancellors etc. and just pepper-spray each other!!!
    http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/lanow/2011/11/at-

  • freakishlywrong

    Happy embarrassing, awful Black Friday, Wonkateers! Maybe the assholes that participate in this shit will all kill each other and leave us alone. Oh, and Santa? Please give me a time machine to allow me to skip the upcoming year full of bullshit, lying and assholes, aka: "Election Year".