Pat Robertson Mystified By Strange African-American Thanksgiving Ritual

The Pat Robertson teevee show has been desegregated, apparently by force, and now allows a Negress interviewer to interview "her kind" (Condoleezza Rice). What are the mysterious black people up to, this Thanksgiving? The hip-hop? Smokin' crack? Crunking? Voodoo? Hankering for the Original Constitution days when they were slaves? No,worse. They are eating bizarre food dishes and claiming it's part of American Thanksgiving. Pat Robertson is aghast.

There is a reason we "like" Pat Robertson: He makes us stay "open minded" about the concept of a supernatural underworld where the Evil & Wretched are tortured for eternity. Because if Pat Robertson exists, doesn't that leave open the possibility that his Final Resting Place also exists, in the form of Hell? And isn't it nice to think about his sweetheart Jerry Falwell already in such a place, his vile throat constantly pounded by the razor-wire thousand-headed six-foot-long nuclear phallus of the Devil?

Anyway, these blacks, what are they saying "Sister!" to each other about? There is apparently a welfare dish known as "macaroni and cheese," and oh my the blacks simplylovethis concoction, whatever it is. But only once a year, at Thanksgiving, or perhaps also at Christmas. In this way, they worship their ancestral Voodoo goddess, the macaroni. Pat Robertson cannotbelievethe way these blacks are fucking up his holiday. For Thanksgiving, he sticks to a strict diet of orally extracted goat semen. [ YouTube ]