Did Michele Bachmann share a sexy classified scoop about attacks on Pakistan’s nukular sites during last night’s GOP debate? Is she already sharing a cell with Bradley Manning, in the one twist of fate that could possibly worsen America’s inhumane/unconstitutional torture of Manning?
Bachmann claimed that “six attempts have already been made on nuclear sites” in Pakistan, by thieving socialist jihadists seeking to redistribute the world’s nuclear arsenal, which maybe the public didn’t know about, but then again maybe the public didn’t know either that Barack Obama has totally been holding sex parties with the leaders of Iran, according to a different dimwitted statement she also made in the debate?
Here is a National Journal fact-checker sighing to himself as he contemplates the nuances of the eternal Michele Bachmann Challenge:
Minnesota Congresswoman Michele Bachmann serves on the House Intelligence Committee, so her comments on Pakistan’s nuclear program represent either a news-making leak of previously unknown classified information or another in her recent series of seemingly-random, and highly inaccurate, public comments.
Ha ha, an “Intelligence” club, that would allow Michele Bachmann to join! This says a lot, about America. Speaking of intelligence, CNN’s “Truth Squad” has meaningfully consulted the Internet about Bachmann’s claim, and they have found that someone somewhere already reported “six things happening near Pakistan’s nuclear sites,” so it seems less likely to be a “leak” than some thing Michele Bachmann Googled one night and typically ran through her trademark filter of failed reading comprehension skills:
According to Jane’s Terrorism and Insurgency Centre, six incidents at sites considered known or likely nuclear installations in Pakistan have occurred. But they do not appear to represent threats to the country’s nuclear arsenal: a suicide bomber drove a motorcycle into the side of a bus and killed eight air force personnel; seven people were wounded in a school bus bomb explosion; a munitions factory blast killed scores of civilians; a suicide attack killed a civilian, a vehicle-borne IED killed 33; and militants assaulted a naval aviation station.
Oh, Internet, this is how you want to spend your Thanksgiving holiday, trying to figure out if Michele Bachmann is insane? [Crooks and Liars/National Journal/CNN]
{ 173 comments }
Now it is time for Marcus to leak his secret.
I'm guessing with that stretched-out sphincter of his, he's leaking more than secrets…
Lactating is not leaking.
He's always leaking his secret……Santorum.
It's not really a secret when everyone already knows.
Ain't no secret from anyone but Michele.
Michele: "Marcus isn't gay! He's just extremely happy!"
That he is a secret Muslim born in Kenya?
Just so everyone doesn't have to spend their Thanksgiving weekend trying to figure out if Michele is insane, let me help you out: Yes, yes she is. Very much. Now enjoy your dinner and the Lions upset of the Packers!
No! The Packers need to beat the Lions, so the Bears have more of a chance to make the play-offs. I'll be rooting for Green Bay on Thursday. Fuck, I feel nauseous even saying that.
The 1972 Dolphins don't want to hear this.
I watched that season. I was 7. And football has been meaningless since.
Packers need to win – but by less than a touchdown.
Bears have no chance without a QB.
Go Lions!
Great to be able to say that this late in the season.
Orton is now available from Denver. Deja vu all over again?
That's why Kyle Orton asked to be released from Denver. He's going back to Chicago.
The Lions are mangy, fading, unsportsmanlike miscreants. I hope they get beat, but not so badly that they start facemasking people due to their insufficient socialization.
I am partly from Cleveland, so I am not infected with teh Packer hate; having the Packers de-smug the '72 Dolphins would be second best to a Bears Super Bowl. Go Caleb Hanie, the best QB ever out of Hooterville High!!
How does one manage to be "partly from Cleveland"? And which part(s) are from elsewhere?
Stupid is as stupid does.
Michele Bachmann is like a box of chocolates. You never know what kind of nut is inside.
Black walnut if Herman is anywhere nearb
It was probably only three incidents, but if you're as cross eyed as a mule then it looks like six.
Enjoy Gitmo, you brainless twat.
She would probably enjoy the cockmeat sandwich served there as she is not getting it at home.
"Michele Bachmann serves on the House Intelligence Committee."
You guys, I'm starting to thing that Shelley might me a little over her head…
"Serves" the committee beverages, like she did at that Jeebuz-style debate they had last Saturday.
When I heard she was gonna be appointed to that committee, I just naturally assumed they would put her over at the kiddie table with a box of crayons and a paper placemat to draw on. Obviously, she's been listening to what goes on, and that frightens me.
Further proof that America is going to Hell in a handbasket.
I find it completely baffling that the first thought in every single human being's head upon seeing a picture of Bachmann isn't "That chick is batshit."
You appear to be using a meaning of "baffling" with which I am not familiar.
"You keep using that word…."
What is Michele Bachmann doing on a committee with the word "intelligence" in the title?
I think that "Committee" is like the Special Ed Class in Congress.
She shouldn't join clubs that might have her. Groucho Marx was right!
Keep in mind it is a committee of the U.S. Amerikkka House of Representatives where intelligence isn't a requirement for anything.
The backstroke?
her comments on Pakistan’s nuclear program represent either a news-making leak of previously unknown classified information or another in her recent series of seemingly-random, and highly inaccurate, public comments.
Occam's Razor would like to put in a word.
She knows there are 15 Nuclear sites from her work on the Intelligence Committee. She knows that 6 of the sites came under attack because a concerned mother told her so after the earlier foreign policy debate.
Maybe she should stop showing up to the debates after doing the LSD.
I thought they prescribed the LSD to calm her mind?
Michele Bachmann. Intelligence Committee. Proving osmosis is just a theory.
and so is Human evolution, apparently
Ah, but osmosis is the movement of water, not smarticles. Just cuz one puts goats in with sheep doesn't make the sheep any smarter. I had a sheep once and trust me, nothing could make them smarter.
TMI!
If you put them in a room with Michele, they'd seem smarter.
A sheep believes in more things that are true than Michele, too, also. I can do this all day, throw open the zoo gates!
Shellie sits on the House Intelligence Committee – if this doesn't speak volumes about the three ring circus that is our Congress…….
Minnesota Congresswoman Michele Bachmann serves on the House Intelligence Committee
Q.E.D. Our country is broken.
~
Just another leak from her golden shower of hits.
Sorry Circle Jerks.
Needz moar Drudge sirens.
Shellie on an Intelligence committee makes about as much sense as Bristle promoting abstinence
That Bitch just cannot shut the fuck up… damn… Sarah Palin II. And constantly trying to blow everything out of proportion.
President?!? Are you fucking kidding me?
Stupid blabber mouth.
It had to be said, sorry.
You go too far, Sir!!
Shut the fuck up. You try figuring out reality when you're gobbling 4 Percs an hour, your head feels like it's about to explode all the time, that fucker God keeps talking to you constantly and Marcus is entertaining the national press corp in the bathroom by demostrating how many Cracker Barrel sausages he can ram up his ass.
Thumb-splitting good stuff, Sandman~
Come on folks, it's almost Thanksgiving. Can't we be a little charitable?! I mean, the lady (and by "lady" I am referring to Michele, not Marcus) may be dumber than a box of rocks, but I like what she did with her hair. From the eyes up, she looked very nice last night.
Her plastic surgeon and makeup team deserve some kind of Nobel Prize, the Peace one probably. I wonder if she ever gets to have sex, though. Seems a shame to spend that much on your looks when you're stuck bearding for the Christians.
She usually looks good from the eyes up — that's to distract the viewer from noticing that there's nothing going on from the eyes back.
this is how you want to spend your Thanksgiving holiday,
Hell no! I'm spending it with Ken Layne's Actual Awesome Real Cranberry Business: http://wonkette.com/412410/wonkettes-actual-aweso...
Which makes one forget Ken Layne's We're Doomed By The Idiocy And Corruption Of Our Society Blogging, so hooray!
I keep sending that recipe to people and I'm not sure they "get it."
A shame, no? I tracked it down day or two ago and was in stitches all over again, given it's been re-read several times over the years. Is sarcasm becoming a dead language in some respects?
Even Barb didn’t like it. Go figger.
Lyin' Ass Bitch be crazy..
Don't you just love The Roots so much right now?
Yes, now if only Jimmy Fallon will quit apologizing. This is a woman who says vicious, hateful lies about people who disagree with her twisted world view, in other words, a lyin' ass bitch.
I especially enjoy the poutrage from the Wingnuts. Everytime I hear one of them say "If someone would have done the same thing to Obama, the liberals would have a screaming fit", I calmly point out that they obviously have not been watching the weekly Republiklan Poo-Flinging Contests.
It would be fun if she was charged with espionage to try her under Sharia law which, as we all know, is pretty much dominating the American legal system. It has even recently made serious inroads into Thanksgiving. http://www.americanthinker.com/2011/11/happy_hala...
Sorry man, not clicking on the americanstinker. Still airing the computer out from the last time I made that mistake.
It is nice to know Pam Geller is on the look out for this. I think I will have oysters Rockefeller, roast pork and bacon wrapped scallops and avoid the whole halal thing.
That may be the stupidest and most obviously dishonest column ever by Pam Geller, and I'm aware of the magnitude of that claim. My evidence is that even almost all of the American [snicker] Thinker readers posted comments of the "Ok, I hate Islam and all, but this is just dumb…" variety. She bases her condemnation on the purported "cruelty" of the halal method of slaughter. Commenters immediately point out that the Kosher method of slaughter is identical, differing only in the blessing pronounced – presumably that is where Islam adopted the method from – so by this reasoning we should boycott stores offering Kosher food too. No response so far from Ms. Geller.
Just substitute "Shove all the Arabs into the chambers and release the gas!!" for whatever Geller writes, and you'll have her sussed.
Since Michele thinks all traitors and leakers of top secret data should be killed. I say do on to others as they would do on to you.
there's something on the Bible about seed and sowing, I guess
Every time Marcus reads that passage, which he does as many times daily as possible, he gets all woozy and light headed from the blood rushing to his groin.
Really though, a Bachmann presidency would be groundbreaking; and it's about time we had an untreated paranoid schizophrenic in the White House.
Wasn't Nixon enough?
He had the paranoid part down pat, but not the full-on, voices-in-head schizophrenia like one-L has with her hearing god speak to her and all.
What, Nixon wasn't enough for you?!
Dang it. I'm too slow.
"Not today, Putin…. I've got a headache."
~President Michele Bachmann
Bachmann/Ventura 2012 !
To be fair, I read about these attacks in the latest issue of The Atlantic a couple weeks ago. Also to be fair, I refuse to believe that Michele Bachmann reads anything more intellectually stimulating than US Weekly and People magazine.
Details, details. Let's ship her to Gitmo and waterboard her anyway. Spray her with some vegetable mist. Can't be too careful.
Dumbfuck Republican candidates have "Readers", like Mediaeval Kings had Scribes.
Is Paki-paki-paki-stan-stan our friend? I don't know. Do you?
She may sit on the House Intelligence Committee, but no one puts Baby in a corner! (Somehow that makes sense now.)
She knows about the "six attempts". What else does she know? Let's waterboard her to find out. I'll bet we learn something after "180 attempts".
Only if the ACLU approves. Cuz Miche1e sez Barry "outsourced interrogations" to them. She had that one polished up and ready to deploy, but it's still so freaking crazy you have to wonder who's "writing" her "speeches."
Fer shur. Nobody outsources to American outfits anymore. It was the Bangalore Civil Liberties Union.
Let me be the first to proffer "band name!"
Enquiring minds want to know if she knows how to get the nooks and crannies into english muffins and the 11 spices in the Colonel's recipie.
Bradley Manning being forced to share a cell with Bachmann is truly a crime against Humanity. What say you Marcus?
Marcus says he'd gladly take her place.
I bet Marcus would like to share a cell with Bradley.
He'd prefer Peyton or Eli Manning, but he'll take what he can get.
Uh oh, she told us, now they are going to have to kill us.
From what I saw last night, they are going to do it by boring us to death.
I was thinking more in terms of an entire viewing audience simultaneously recreating the exploding-head scene from Scanners. Fortunately it appears that the only people actually watching were Wonketeers protected by layers of life-sustaining contempt.
So thats what this stuff is.
DRINK!!!!!!!!!!!
In a seemingly non-related statement, Bachmann warned couples parking on Lover's Lanes to be on the lookout for an escaped mental patient and serial killer with a hook for a left hand.
An escaped convict from the asylum has escaped and he's mental and he's on the loose and stuff. He was last seen in the woods and has a thingy for a hand, a hook-thing where his hand should be, you know what I mean.
When will she get outta the news?
Shortly after the Iowa Caucuses.
Just in time for the DWTS recruiting period.
Just ask Scooter how to get out of this predicament. I don't know if Cheney can still get blowjobs though, what with the bionics and all.
But he can still give them right?
Not a firm hold on the facts, or any hold at all. Do you think she tells Marcus he's the best ever?
In fairness, Marcus can get pretty passionate when Michele dresses up as Roy Cohn.
Best comment ever
"Oh, Internet, this is how you want to spend your Thanksgiving holiday, trying to figure out if Michele Bachmann is insane?"
Let's make it easy for them. Yes, she is insane.
"The House Intelligence Committee"
Or as batshit's batshit parents would've named it: "Inteligence Comitee"
U spel gud.
Inteligence comite.
if we should Gitmo Michele Bachman, we must also send Orange Boner because HE is the one responsible of putting her on the House Intelligence Committee
BTW, Bradley Manning is still in the stockade, hasn't been charged with anything, and even if they're not torturing him anymore, they're still trampling on his constitutional rights.
couragetoresist.org
http://standwithbrad.org
Bachmann heard this little gem the way she gets all her intelligence: squatting in some bushes, "resting her heels" while eavesdropping.
Hiding from lesbians, too.
"Oh, Internet, this is how you want to spend your Thanksgiving holiday, trying to figure out if Michele Bachmann is insane?"
[Waves hand frantically in the air] OH! OH! Teacher! I know this one! Pick me! Pick me!
"…or another in her recent series of seemingly-random, and highly inaccurate, public comments."
The more things stay the same, the more they stay the same…
And the Award for best supporting Actress in a Porno ( 1 chick,and 7 dicks) series go's to Michele Bachman !
That's an awful lot of baggage to carry
Michele Bachmann either leaked classified info or else she's just spouting bullshit and making shit up like she usually does.
If this is as close to a gaffe as it got in last night's debate, then I am so disappointed (not!) at what I must've missed.
OTOH, it reminds me of the flak Griftin' $arah caught when she let it slip during a public address the destination her son was headed to serve overseas. Poor Michele — ♫Who'll be your role model/ Now that your role model is gone, gone?..♪
Leakin' ass bitch (I'm lookin' at you, too, Marcus).
Why the holy hell would anyone give this nitwit nutbucket access to classified information?
It's treason I tells ya!
Well, it's unlikely she'll remember any of it, and whatever she DOES remember will be wrong, so the risk seems slight.
They probably don't. They probably write 'Hound dogs got long ears' on paper, make it official-looking, and pass it to her while the adults get the real stuff.
It's proof that the universe is a cruel ironic motherfucking joker.
Member of Intelligence Committee has no Intelligence.
Silly Wonkette. Everyone knows by now that with any offense "it is o.k. if you are a Republican".
All Michelle really wants is to see the Jesusween put back into Thanksgiving.
Thanksween?
Gesundheit!
OT, but important news just in time for gift-buying season (from Onion AV Club):
"Arriving just in time for the season of giving all the leeches in your life the fruits of your autonomous production, Atlas Shrugged Part 1 has at last made its way to DVD and Blu-ray, where its messages about Objectivism can be enjoyed by the whole family, some of whom should be ashamed."
http://www.avclub.com/articles/atlas-shrugged-pro...
Watch it back to back with Battlefield Earth for an "Insane Cult Propaganda Movie Double Feature."
Also The Passion of the Christ.
In her defense, most of these incidents in Pakistan occurred in the town of John Wayne, New Hampshire, near the battlefields of Gettysburg and Waterloo of the Bulge.
She actually heard it from Jesse James during a poker game during a raft trip, down a non-existant river…
It's in the recent issue of the Atlantic. There's nothing classified about this.
Six incidents at sites considered known or likely Owls installations in Arkansas have occurred!
Too soon!!
Oh well, at least Michele doesn't send government info through a personal Yahoo! email account with an easily hackable password, like Snowbilly did that time.
Um, she doesn't, does she?
I wonder how she found this out, since I thought you have to actually go to Washington in order to sit on a committee meeting?
On an unrelated note, is anyone else seeing the Newsmax Health ad on the right of the screen? Something about "These 4 things happen before a heart attack." I would imagine at least one of these things involves Obama's birth certificate.
So I'm assuming she doesn't go to any of the meetings and just figures what she reads on NewsMax and her church circular is the latest intel, tricked up into some code that only she understands, right? She's like that guy in A Beautiful Mind, only without the math skills.
Off-med is no way to go through a campaign, son.
She sits on the House Intelligence Committee–sits on its face.
Last night was my first GOP debate thingy. Do they make more sense if you are shit-faced?
No, they don't make more sense. However, being numb makes them more funnier.
Fist for your avatar.
If you can't get your hands on some psylocibin mushrooms.
IOKIYAR.
The one Fucking Golden Rule Republicans use to justify anything a Republican says or does…
Wow, those muslin jihad dudes really hate busses!
Of course she had the inside scoop. Marcus has been over there trying to convert all the gheys from their gheydom with his conversion-"therapy." Why do you think so many of the attacks included someone committing suicide?
I'm disappointed she didn't bring up the Sharia turkeys. I'm sure she believes that. Someone should ask her about it.
kin' Butterball, man.
Anything that happened last night was not her fault. She was still so shaken up by having to walk on a late night talk show set to a song most of America has never heard of (poor, underrated Fishbone). Those Roots guys were SO mean to her, you guys! And she hadn't even received any apologies yet! How could she be expected to perform under such stress?
Not those six incidents!!!!! OOpps – shouldn't have said that!
PEPPER SPRAY!!!
HuffPo now reports she just lifted these comments from an Atlantic Monthly article:
She even borrowed "too nuclear to fail," a description that Stephen P. Cohen, the Pakistan analyst at Brookings, gave the magazine.
I'll bet it's hard to constantly think of errands for her to run during the committee meetings. 'Michele, we'll need a left-handed screwdriver for this report.'
Glenn Beck likes Michele. Good 'nuf fer me.
" . . . her comments . . . represent either a news-making leak of previously unknown classified information or another in her recent series of seemingly-random, and highly inaccurate, public comments."
See, that's how you keep America's enemies at bay – confuse the fuck out of them, because you keep your own mind in such a state of disarray, even you don't know what you're saying.
Actually, you're probably right. If we put her in the White House, all our enemies will be, like, "You know, let's just hold off for the next four years…"
She's been AWOL from Congress for so long, it must be made-up.
I want Rick Perry to cut off all U.S. government aid to Michele Bachmann because she is not America's friend.
Bachmann is on the Intelligence Commitee. And you need more evidence that America is the Great Satan?
Is she already sharing a cell with Bradley Manning, in the one twist of fate that could possibly worsen America’s inhumane/unconstitutional torture of Manning?
I would have to assume that in that situation Michele would end up divorcing Marcus and marrying Bradley with the explanation that he reminds her of a younger version of Marcus.
We can be reasonably sure this is not classified information, because Michele hasn't hit her day job in about a year. How many House votes has she missed?
This is, of course, her employment history. When she was an IRS attorney for a few years, she was on serial pregnancy leave – some people say she was out as much as she was in.
Now she repeats that pattern by running for President instead of working for the good people of her District. Which they probably prefer, of course.
She hasn't been on the job to attend any Intelligence Committee meetings to learn any secrets that she could spill.
I'm sure Little Annie Coulter and the Fox News "journalists" are all shouting treason, right?
All this talk of Bachmann and leaking make me want to call a urologist.
Michele Bachmann, you can yammer your little head off just about any little curiosity you come across upon your womanly activities and whatnot, but when it comes to international nuclear foreign policy secrets, I'm going to have to ask you to plug it within an inch of your being, okay? Okay…
She serves on the House Intelligence Committee. Not an intelligent House committee.
Michele Bachman, makes you almost miss the wisdom of Sarah Palin.
Michelle Bachmann and "Intelligence" in the same sentence? I can't fucking stand it.
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