medical mysteries

Alaska Rep. Suffers Brain Aneurysm (?) When Treehugger Speaks To Him

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Woaaaah, hey there! Here is a chilling video of Rep. Don Young (R-Alaska) giving himself an actual lobotomy in front of a C-SPAN camera, or maybe just suffering from severe constipation, or having an aneurysm, but in any case something pretty awful is going on with him because his eyes are so bulged out of his head they are about to knock his spectacles off and he is screaming, a lot. The cause, however, is less mysterious: a Rice University wildlife preservation historian spoke up to correct Young’s misstatement of his name during a House Natural Resources Committee hearing. HOW DARE HEEEEEE.

*Gurgle pop.*

Young “informs” (spews words along with flecks of his own tongue at) this historian, Dr. Douglas Brinkley, that “I can call you anything I want if you sit in that chair,” because Young dreams at night that he is a powerful tyrant.

The context for this mysterious bout of apoplexy is that Republicans are again holding hearings to investigate opening the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge to oil drilling, because in Young’s words, “the Arctic plain is really nothing” and it sucks and would be much more attractive if it looked like a giant piece of Swiss cheese stained with poop-colored streaks.

MinnPost reporter Don Shelby asked Brinkley, an award-winning author of many books on conservation, if he was at all surprised by Young’s insane behavior:

Brinkley told me he knew that Congressman Young, at another hearing, had waved a walrus penis bone at Mollie Beattie, the incoming chief of the Fish and Wildlife Service. Brinkley may have read the Rolling Stone article about Young that quotes the congressman as saying, “Environmentalists are a self-centered bunch of waffle-stomping, Harvard-graduating, intellectual idiots.” The quote continues, “[They] are not Americans, never have been Americans and never will be Americans.”

Ha ha and our second-favorite moment in the video is at 1:03, when Young wiggles his flabby head like an earthworm being electrocuted in its anus. [YouTube/MinnPost]

Comments

Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • actor212

    It's spelled "Luxury Yacht," Congressman, but it's pronounced "Throat Warbler Mangrove"!

    • Baconzgood

      You're a very silly man and I'm not going to testify for you Congressman.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        But I am a good friend of Mr. & Mrs Sniveling Little Ratfaced Git!

        • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

          I want to be on television!

          • Pat_Pending

            Well, you can't!

          • WunkRocker

            Dimsdale!
            Also I'm pretty sure it was just a Depends change Don Young needed there. How can he battle those elitist scientificos with a load in his britches. Maybe David Vitter could advise? Still it is nice that in 2011 you can send Twatter messages to their accounts respectfully calling them pussies.

    • Nopantsmcgee

      You're anti-Semitic!

    • Generation[redacted]

      ANWR isn't real, it's made of polystyrene!

  • nounverb911

    "Young wiggles his flabby head like an earthworm being electrocuted in its anus"
    David Vitter is jealous.

  • Master Janitor V572

    Behold, America: your national legislature at work, seeking facts upon which to base their wise decisions.

    It's hard for we lower-48'ers to imagine the contempt with which most Alaskans view any expression of concern for the environment, but this helps!

    An Alaskan hierarchy of Important Things:

    (1) Guns
    (2) Hunting and fishing
    (3) Jeebus & allied entities
    (4) Handguns
    (5) Ammunition
    (6) Federal jobs
    (7) Permanent Fund handouts

    • nounverb911

      (8) Meth.

      • Geminisunmars

        This should be much higher up on your list.

    • teebob2000

      (9) Walrus penis bones

      • MaxNeanderthal

        10) Moose fucking

        • BaldarTFlagass

          Do you mean "moose fucking by some perverted guy" or "moose fucking as seen on TLC and the Discovery Channel"?

          • MaxNeanderthal

            Both the former and the "humanely euthanased by helicopter riding fatfux equipped with large calibre surrogate cocks" fucked…

        • GhostBuggy

          Leave Bristol out of this!

    • snoopyfan2010

      Thanks for the long explanation, but that only proves that they are narrow minded and lack the ability to think logically through an issue. If they love their way of life so much, they should be able to put two and two together and figure out that it wouldn't last unless they protect it. They are as stupid as people who move out the the latest suburban master planned community because it is in the country and far from the city. But those same people don't realize that by moving out there they encourage the same urbanization that they say they want to get away from. If these people were living on an indian reservation following the same lifestyle as those who lived there centuries before, I would buy that argument. But these people don't care as much for the land as they do the idea of calling the land their own. Those are two different things. One is self less and the other is selfish. Sorry for the long post.

      • Master Janitor V572

        Not defending, just essplaining.

        • snoopyfan2010

          I know but I always assume all redheads are argumentative. It's a stereotype I like to hold on to.

  • actor212

    Brinkley told me he knew that Congressman Young, at another hearing, had waved a walrus penis bone at Mollie Beattie, the incoming chief of the Fish and Wildlife Service.

    Herman Cain's running mate!

    • Callyson

      Nah, Pizza Man won't welcome the competition.

      • actor212

        Pepper spray him

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          Pepper spray is a vegetable.

  • tihond

    What's happening to the lady behind Young at :44?

    • Fare la Volpe

      Diarrhea by proxy.

    • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

      She had a fecal aneurism over Dr. Rice Brinkley essentially telling her boss to FOAD.

    • GunToting[Redacted]

      I'd like to hope that it's cunnilingus, but she's probably just shocked at this dipshit's behavior.

    • Steverino247

      I think her boyfriend just hit the wrong hole.

    • flamingpdog

      She realized she still had the walrus penis bone up her hoo-hoo.

    • valgal2342

      It dawned on her that she's interning for a total asshole.

    • Chichikovovich

      Hey, Butthead! What happened to the blonde chick – she got all big eye'd n' stuff?

      Um, Uh, I think the guy behind her just got a surprise boner. huhuhuhuhuhuh…

      Yeah, yeah, he got a woodrow! Boooiiiing! Huhuhuhuhuhuh….

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Good to see that Alaska has a suitable replacement in the halls of congress for that egregious asshole, dead Ted Stevens.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      Please keep this one away from the Tubez.

    • SorosBot

      Here's another blast from the past:
      http://wonkette.com/403925/don-young-predicts-ted

      “I can remember Richard Nixon, you know, his years of service, what he’s done, and everybody [was] ridiculing him, and he ended up being the greatest president in the history of our century. … The Senator will be re-elected. He will appeal it. When he does go, he will win it because there’s no way this is a jury of his peers.”

      • http://www.vinoverve.com Maman

        Remind Rep. Young that Nixon created the EPA.

        • DaRooster

          Damn Tree-Hugger!

        • northernbassist

          I prefer to remind him that he was beaten by a DEAD GUY in his first congressional race. Nick Begich, who was our congressman, went missing after a plane crash in October of 1972. The election results from November of that year showed Begich with 56.2% of the vote–Young got 43.8%.

          • BerkeleyBear

            Mark Begich's dad? Or relative of some kind?

          • northernbassist

            Yes, BB, Mark is one of Nick's sons.

      • emmelemm

        What's interesting about that article is that it predicts Rep. Young will be ousted. Clearly, we can see that he was not. Sad…

        • SorosBot

          At least Stevens was ousted, though; before his plane decided to permanently oust him.

          • flamingpdog

            Will Rogers LIBEL!!

  • undeterredbyreality

    Dr. Rice should ask his sister, Condoleeza, to come down hard on this guy.

  • fletc3her

    I love it when Congresspeople get all pissy about being respected. Well, Rep. Young, I'm laughing out loud here at your embarrassing performance in this hearing. You, sir, are an idiot.

    • http://www.udargo.com MaxUdargo

      You listen to me! I'll call you Professor Rice if I want to! I'll say you COULD work in the private sector even though you've just said you DO work in the private sector! Don't say I wasn't here when I was in the other room! And I'll reach back and grab this young lady on her inner thigh anytime I like! What do you think I hired her for? Fuck this. Come on honey, let's go find some booze and some privacy!

    • Tommy1733

      YES!

      • NorthStarSpanx

        It's not like Dr. Rice yelled out "You Lie," during the Congressman's opening statement. . .

  • http://wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    Dear Corrupt Congress Blubbering sack of Walrus Shit Young.

    Why do you act like a man with a small dick?

    • Gleem_McShineys

      He is a professional method actor. Look at the way he shriveled his penis up to perform that role authentically!

      • http://www.vinoverve.com Maman

        He is what he is…

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      You go into a Congressional hearing with the dick you have…

  • poncho_pilot

    i've known many conservationist types and not a damn one of them has ever stomp a waffle.

    • actor212

      Not even Mitt down at Der Waffle Haus?

      • poncho_pilot

        well, he is a RINO with his Romneycare and Mormon Grain Silo/Space Rocket. maybe he's a conservationist, too? at least when he needs to be to get votes?

        • actor212

          Well, I mean, he does conserve companies that pollute the env–

          OK, I confess. I misread the post.

          • poncho_pilot

            i thought maybe. it's ok.

            conservatives on the other hand? they're always stomping waffles.

    • prommie

      the asshole misuses the term, "waffle-stompers" is an old term for hiking boots, with their fancy newfangled 'soles" made of "rubber" or "vibram," and which leave footprints that look like waffles. I think its a term of derision used by the huntin' boot and workboot crowd, against the high-tech prissy faggy intellectual idiot hikers with their eye-talian hiking boots.

      • poncho_pilot

        oh! so like that scene in Falling Down? thanks! i feel like Young would know less about boots than hikers, though, seeing as he couldn't poor piss out of one and has an incredible amount of disdain for those who can.

      • SorosBot

        So wait, it's some outdated old-timey slang that almost no one is going to understand? Don Young must be smoking Dutch cleanser.

        • prommie

          "Old" like the 70s, I think.

          • SorosBot

            Old old then; I was alive for part of the 70s, and I'm old now.

          • prommie

            Merriam-Webster says first known use was 1972. Think Vasques.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        In any regards, you'd think Young would think twice about dissing any kind of rugged outdoor footwear. He's supposedly from Alaska, right? People from Alaska are generally regarded to be comfortable in the rugged, great outdoors? "Outdoorsmen," so to speak. Pride themselves on it. Aren't "waffle stompers" an ingrained and permanent icon of Alaska's image?

        WHY DOES DON YOUNG HATE ALASKA?

        • Master Janitor V572

          Because he live in DC.

      • theotherjimmyolson

        Thanx for the update. I vas vundering aboud dat.

  • Fare la Volpe

    You dadgum kids git off my lawn! You're blocking the oil drill!

    *hock, pting*

  • SorosBot

    How dare people listen to a bunch of Harvard-graduating intellectuals! We should only listening to the advice of drooling uninquisitive morons.

    • Fare la Volpe

      drooling uninquisitive morons

      The correct term is "constituents."

      • emmelemm

        I believe the term is "Congresscritters."

    • nounverb911

      W?

      • SorosBot

        No one ever accused W – or any legacy admissions or B-schoolers really – of being an intellectual.

      • flamingpdog

        T?

        Oh, sorry, wrong Wonkette post.

    • CommieLibunatic

      Fuckin' intellectuals, whadda THEY know!?

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      I think that should be "welfare-gobbling drooling uninquisitive morans." Otherwise, well-said.

    • http://www.vinoverve.com Maman

      I thought that "drooling uninquisitive morons " are what America great?

    • http://wonkette.com/ outragedcitizen

      Ah, you mean like the drooling uninquisitive morans that work for Faux Nudes – Limberger, O'Really, etc.

  • littlebigdaddy

    Don't sweat it…rice is an organic food product.

  • privatejoker77

    Should have tried harder to get Douchebag-(R)'s brain to pop.

    • http://wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

      What brain?

      • poncho_pilot

        serious. notice the dead eyes? i think Young just has a Speak & Spell programmed with Right Wing jibber jabber wired to his voice box.

  • tihond

    Would America be willing to give Alaska back to Russia if it meant never hearing from Lou Sarah, Joe Miller, and Rep. Young again?

    • Geminisunmars

      But would Russia take it if they were part of the package?

    • freddymcmurray

      THEN who would be the commie pinko? Sarah, that's who!

    • http://www.gurukalehuru.wordpress.com gurukalehuru

      Yes.

  • SorosBot

    Oh, and Rep. Young; speaking as both an environmentalist and an intellectual, yes I fucking am an American, have always been an American, and will be an American. Fuck you and your anti-American fascistic bullshit calling people who disagree with you not American.

    • flamingpdog

      Why does Rep. Young hate waffle-stomping, Harvard-graduating, intellectual Idiotistan America?

    • kateinmt

      Please send your comments as a letter to Rep. Young, Soros, and sign my name to it, too.

    • snoopyfan2010

      You know who else didn't think that certain people were really American?

      • yyyaz

        Leif Ericson?

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Andrew Jackson?

      • freddymcmurray

        white people?

    • http://wonkette.com TanzbodenKoenig

      Well said

      • Oblios_Cap

        I saw a bumper sticker warning "beware liberals posing as Americans". I had not realized that citizens were allowed to perform only Right-thinking, but I'm not terribly surprised.

  • littlebigdaddy

    Needz moar spittle.

    • poncho_pilot

      that's what Marcus said.

    • DaRooster

      Don't we all…

  • prommie

    "Intellectual idiots." Yeah, being smart is so dumb, so fuck all ya'll fucking stupid smarty-pants eeeee-leeeet intellectual morons.

    • theotherjimmyolson

      It's difficult to wrap your mind around what rep. Young is saying, but then I am used to dealing with people who are, you know, sane.

  • Dumbedup

    What collective fit of spite motivates citizens to elect such a buffoon? And he's clearly not alone in that building, there are dozens and dozens of oafish morons making the nations policy. WTF!!!!!!!

    • Geminisunmars

      Huh?

  • http://gratuity.wordpress.com/ Gratuitous World

    smells like burnt beard hair.

  • __kth__

    The accounts of this awesome exchange keep referring to Douglas Brinkley as something like "this guy". But he's on TV a lot, generally in the PBS fora you might see Michael Beschloss or Doris Kearns Goodwin (am I the only Wonket who watches that stuff? probably).

    You will only hear fairly anodyne national greatness history on those shows, which of course means that Brinkley is a communist in the eyes of an illiterate like Rep. Young.

    • SayItWithWookies

      Wonkette is a veritable hotbed of PBS viewers, if you weren't aware. Why Saturday night I was all set to turn in when my local public TV station aired a rebroadcast of a guy who raised sixteen wild turkeys for a year — and it was riveting.

    • Geminisunmars

      There you go, being one of them PBS swilling suito intelektuals.

    • Dudleydidwrong

      Doug Brinkley has done a great deal to make history relevant, enjoyable, and analytic. Read his "The Magic Bus" some time. I'm sure that Don Young, (R) Alaska has read it and understands what makes history relevant.

      "What? Young can't read? Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to pick on someone who is obviously, well, you know, that R……. word." (How did that fucking dork get elected?)

  • CrunchyKnee

    HEEENNNNGGGHHHH!!!!!

    Douchetard is douchie, even for Alaskan standards.

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    They can have my walrus penis bone when they pry it from my cold dead hands.

    • littlebigdaddy

      Walruses have actual bones in their penises? Awesome–better than Cialis!

      • GunToting[Redacted]

        I had a biology professor in college who had a pair of earrings made from (I believe) otter penis bones. I think the scientific term is "baculum."

      • Fare la Volpe

        Actually, humans are one of the few mammals for whom the term "boner" is not anatomically correct.

        • YasserArraFeck

          Contrary to popular biblical convention, when God made Woman, he didn't use Adam's rib bone…but the writers of Genesis were uncomfortable using the word "dick".

      • poncho_pilot

        i'd say something about penile implants but we don't need to discuss the process by which someone becomes an elected official.

        • Lionel[redacted]Esq

          Or a Congressional Intern.

    • prommie

      Have you seen the walrus auto-fellatio video? I never tire of it, laughs galore.

    • Baconzgood

      If you take away our walrus' penises then only the walruses will have them.

    • SorosBot

      I am the walrus penis bone; goo goo ga-joob.

      • jqheywood

        Eewwh…goo EVERYwhere..

    • Tundra Grifter

      L[r]Esq.:

      Too bad the walrus penis bone wasn't still attached to the walrus.

      Now, that would have been quite entertaining!

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    You know, if the Republicans are really set on destroying the Arctic, they should propose turning it into strip clubs, liquor stores and Taco Bells. Who would oppose them then?

    • littlebigdaddy

      Add in meth labs, and you are talking Wasilla.

  • Joshua Norton

    Historians have monopolized history for TOO LONG!!

  • GunToting[Redacted]

    Why the fuck would someone stomp on a waffle?

    • poncho_pilot

      i think that's how you make pancakes.

    • DaRooster

      Joe Walsh knows…

      (not the one that hates his kids)

    • http://www.udargo.com MaxUdargo

      Seriously. What the fuck does that even mean? I mean, it makes a kind of sense I guess, because I suppose that waffles do look stomped upon, but I didn't know it had anything to do with hippies.

  • elviouslyqueer

    "You don't know me, but I pay your salary." ZING.

    Also, way to show Congressional decorum by stomping out of the chamber, Rep. Young (R-Petulant Pouty Douchebag).

  • Baconzgood

    Intellectual idiot? That's an oxymoran isn't it?

  • Baconzgood

    QUICK SOMEONE PUT A WALLET IN HIS MOUTH SO HE DOESN'T BITE HIS TOUNG OFF.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      He would prefer a big wad of Exxon dollars.

    • widestanceshakedown

      That walrus penis bone would have come in handy.

    • LesBontemps

      Why would you want to deprive us of that pleasant sight?

  • prommie

    This guy might be suffering from a nutritional deficiency that has his moods all in disarray. Maybe a balanced diet would help him calm down, he needs more vegetables, is what I am guessing. The right thing to do would be to treat him to a nice vegetable spray, I think, that should address his inappropriate rage problem.

    • RadiosTyrone

      Sorry Prommie you beat me by a red pubic hair.

      • prommie

        The finest measurement known to man.

    • Beanball

      "Vegetable spray"

      I see what you did there, Prommie

  • RadiosTyrone

    Maybe he got a "vegetable misting."

    • nounverb911

      Someone threw a pizza at him?

  • Urban_Achiever

    Why should we be surprised? This is a man whose wife tortures interns

  • http://thethingsrepublicanshate.com/ Chillwaver

    I love the way Rep. Douchenozzle quickly takes off at the end of the video, prolly on his way to club a few dozen baby seals…

  • philpjfry

    What a fucking bully. He is the best example of what is wrong with congress. Jackass cocksucker. I wish I lived in Alaska so I could vote for his opponent. No I don't I never want to live in Alasaka. Jerkoff

    • bikerlaureate

      What would be inappropriate, really, about putting this buffoon's performance in a competitor's TV ad ?

      • DaRooster

        Maybe someone can quote him (Barry) and then Romney can use it.

        • bikerlaureate

          This made no sense until I read the day's other stories here. Wonkette is relentlessly sequential.

    • Tundra Grifter

      philpifry:

      Just because we don't live in Alaska doesn't mean we all can't kick in a couple of bucks to the warchest of whoever runs against him.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Heck … incorporate, and as a "person too" you can contribute all you want, endlessly and anonymously.

  • Gleem_McShineys

    What's the matter, Anger Bear? Do the facts continue to stay put, regardless of how much shout juice you spray on them?

    (Is that a walrus penisbone in your pocket or are you just apoplectic to see me?)

    • DaRooster

      Rep. Young: "Apoplectic?! Now you are just making up words."

      • Gleem_McShineys

        It is a real word, Mr. Young. If you hadn't clogged up all your tubes that Ted Stevens left you with all that "walrus penis" stuff, you could look it up.

  • e_z

    Just another day for the humble public servent from Alaska. The best part is when he took his ball and left the commttee room.

    What an absolute turd ball of flesh and facial fuzz.

  • orygoon

    Welfare queen 'ho.

  • dadanarchist

    If you are an historian and want to be respected by Congress, you must make at least $1.8 million per year.

    • gingerland62

      Or pay me that amount.

  • DaRooster

    “Environmentalists are a self-centered bunch of waffle-stomping, Harvard-graduating, intellectual idiots.” The quote continues, “[They] are not Americans, never have been Americans and never will be Americans.”

    Well, hating the fact that God gave us this beautiful planet to live in HARMONY with and to PARTAKE in… not to toxify beyond all recognition… and, if America is a product of Christianity (as so many of you seem to think) then they are ABSOLUTELY better Americans than you!

    • Baconzgood

      Shut up! And were is your flag pin. MOOOOSLUM TERRORIST!

    • Nesnora

      I believe he's more of the line "God gave us dominion over the earth and it's creatures to fuck the everloving-shit-out-of until we can force "Jesus Part 2: The Apocalypse" to happen in my specific lifetime so all my shitty religion-based-viewpoints are magically validated before I perish with nothing but a walrus penis-joke as my contribution towards humanity."

  • SayItWithWookies

    “[They] are not Americans, never have been Americans and never will be Americans.”

    And if your ex-governor and her hubby had their way, you wouldn't be an American either, asshole.

  • Baconzgood

    You guys got fished in. This is like when Kaufman went on Letterman with Jerry "The King" Lawler. It's a piece of performance art. So uncultured.

    • DaRooster

      I still await the comeback of Andy… the ultimate joke… it's gonna be good.

  • Nesnora

    I'm sorry, but all I could see is some bored blonde deciding to eye-(hate)fuck the shit out of me…

    • GunToting[Redacted]

      Yeah, I'd hit that.

  • http://wonkette.com/ Monsieur_Grumpe

    Don Shelby was a very popular anchor man on the TeeVee here in Minnesota. He just retired recently. Good to see he's pointing out the political BS. I always had the feeling he was holding back on the boob tube.

  • http://wonkette.com/ Monsieur_Grumpe

    Let's give Alaska back to the Eskimos.

    • paris biltong

      It was known as Russian America before the 1867 Purchase. Let's give it back to THEM.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Dude is concentric, i.e. a perfect asshole. I guess it makes sense that the biggest state would give birth to the biggest assholes.

  • Wilcoxyz

    They should have resolved this with pepper spray at 10 paces.

    • Generation[redacted]

      Is it lunchtime already?

  • memzilla

    As emailed:

    Prof. Brinkley:

    It was a *pleasure* watching you stand up to Rep. Don Young (R-Exxon) on C-SPAN.

    [http://wonkette.com/456947/alaska-gop-rep-suffers-brain-aneurysm-when-treehugger-speaks-to-him#idc-cover]

    I thoroughly enjoyed watching him drive off in an eight-cylinder huff after you confronted him with the self evident.

    Thanks from many citizens.

  • MaxNeanderthal

    The smell of fear rises wetly from this dribbling, wrinkled, old, shitsack- fear that his entire value system and world view is as erroneous and ignorant as belief in a flat earth, UFO abductions and religions…

  • DaRooster

    “I can call you anything I want if you sit in that chair…"

    You can call me anything you want… until I get out of this fucking chair… then you had better call an ambulance.

  • emmelemm

    OK, I didn't watch the video with sound, because I'm at work, but I wanted to see the guy's head explode a la Videodrome.

    What I do notice, however, is that Mr. Brinkley is sitting there with A GIANT FUCKING NAMEPLATE right in front of him. Presumably to aid the fucking Congresscritters in remembering who they're speaking to.

    • poncho_pilot
      • emmelemm

        Mea maxima culpa, and now I can't edit my post. :)

        I blame the brain aneurysm I suffered after Rep. Young's behavior.

        • Gleem_McShineys

          You were mostly right, because Representative Young does figuratively stick a walrus peen bone into himself, very much like that scene in Videodrome.

        • poncho_pilot

          for what it's worth, as a big of a Cronenberg fan as i am, i assumed you were correct and i had forgotten an exploding head scene in Videodrome. i just posted the one from Scanners because it really is great. well, i always lol but i'm a bit morbid.

    • Geminisunmars

      What, you want him to read as well as legislate?

    • DaRooster

      He's like Hermicain… He don't like to read.

    • Chichikovovich

      Please. Videodrome was the Cronenborg movie where the James Woods character shoots himself in the head (and that's probably the least weird moment in the whole movie). Scanners is the Cronenborg movie where the Michael Ironside character uses his mind-control powers to make the Louis del Grande character's head explode.

      If Wonketteers don't keep their splattering-brain movies straight, who will? We have a responsibility to the world, people!

      • emmelemm

        I know! I already maxima culpa'd. It's important to keep the splattering-brain movies straight.

  • Thurman Munster IV

    Ah, yes, I remember the Cuntley and Brinkley Report.

  • poncho_pilot

    maybe Young needs to try trepanation. they could drill, baby, drill a hole in his skull and let off some pressure.

  • http://thethingsrepublicanshate.com/ Chillwaver

    Next time they'll bring a real "Historian," like Newt, for example.

  • sbj1964

    That congressman makes South Parks Erik Cartman look reasonable."Screw you guys I'm going home."

    • MaxNeanderthal

      A certain resemblance to;… http://youtu.be/kHiDhERvJ4I

    • bikerlaureate

      The less time that troll spends in a committee chamber, the better off we'll all be…

  • franco_pinyon

    Like a dick with eyeballs.

    • anniegetyerfun

      Aaaand now I will revert to watching only lesbian porn.

      Wait, how is that different from five minutes ago?

  • Baconzgood

    If he was my 7 year old I smack him and say "shut the hell up! The grown ups are talking"

  • gingerland62

    This is a perfect clip for 6th grade Civics Class, Democracy in action.

  • Tundra Grifter

    Some time ago I researched this issue. Based on Federal government figures (and not taking the best or worst case projections) producing oil in ANWR could, in twenty or so years, reduce the price of a gallon of gasoline about twenty-five cents.

    IF domestic US oil production doesn't result in the Middle East oil countries simply reduce what they put on the world market. In which case, it could actually cause the price of oil to go up, as those nations seek to keep the same revenue steam while selling less oil.

  • Baconzgood

    What the fuck is fucking wrong with this fucking fuck?

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    What Brinkley's vitae says, what Don Young read:

    PhD from Georgetown University (Jesuit radical)
    Former professor at Hofstra (Jewish radical)
    Former professor at Princeton (elitist radical)
    Professor at Rice (radical radical)
    Member of the Council on Foreign Relations (Communist radical)
    Consultant to CBS (left-wing media radical)
    Contributing editor to Vanity Fair (Hollywood radical)
    Author of six New York Time Notable Books (New York radical)
    Resident of Austin, Texas (hippie radical)
    Executor of Hunter Thompson's literary estate (drug-addicted radical)
    Editor of the best-selling Ronald Reagan Diaries (HUH??!??!)

    • Chichikovovich

      Editor of the best-selling Ronald Reagan Diaries (Alzheimer's sufferer)

  • Millennial Malaise

    Oh my gawd, did anyone pick up the other zinger hidden in the crosstalk?

    From Brinkley: "It's Dr Brinkley. Rice is the university. I know you went to Yuba College and couldn't graduate." It seems harsh, but hard to tell what else that line could be. Either way, I fully support our intellectual class shining a light on all pea-brained congresscritters.

    • Chichikovovich

      Yep, that's what he said. Though I was a bit surprised that Brinkley reacted so strongly. Just because before he had heard Brinkley utter one word, the Congresstooge called what Brinkley was about to say "garbage", confused Brinkley's name and his university, and called Brinkley's upcoming testimony "a waste of time". Those Texas academics are so touchy!

  • theairroom

    I was delighted to see how Rep. Young treated this commoner, because if I saw it, then so did a lot of other people, and a lot of people need to see what kind of men and women they elect, and how these people behave when they think nobody much is watching. I can understand, though, how it would make you really testy, carrying the weight of knowing that your every action is to stab in the back those who voted for you, and is to benefit the richest and most powerful. That would be very hard for a normal person, with any character, to live with.

  • http://wonkette.com/ FlownOver

    Re: Brinkley (with thanks to Levon Helm)

    I can't take the way he writes, but I love to hear him talk.

    • Chichikovovich

      And Young makes my gag reflex throb to the bottom of my feet.

  • Indiepalin

    Brinkley's lucky he only crossed Don Young. Cap'n Phil would've had him keelhauled.

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

    On Saturday my Mom gave me a couple of dollars to go to the store and get a bag of rice. So I'm thinking, I get the cheapest bag there is and I'll have enough leftover to buy a candy bar and then I say the lady didn't give me a receipt or I lose the receipt.
    Wow, did you know that there were so many kinds of rice! I did not know this. There were about a million different kinds.
    So if this guy is a teacher at a school that only teaches stuff about rice, I'd say he would have to be one of the smartest guys in the world. I would believe whatever he was talking about.

  • http://grandpaboy.blogspot.com/ seppdecker

    Too bad Young wasn't on that plane with Stevens.

    • Rotundo_

      Hey, We're talking Alaska here, sooner or later he'll either die of alcoholism or a plane crash. Just so it's sooner rather than later…

  • Callyson

    I love how the blonde woman sitting behind Don Young is quietly freaking out…
    "Should I call someone? Should I run and hide?"
    All of 'em, Katie…

    • Beanball

      She was definitely looking for an exit; either that, or hoping none of her college friends see her up there behind that shitstain of a "public servent."

  • http://wonkette.com Pres.Libunatic

    Brinkley is an old friend of Dr. Hunter S. Thompson and his literary executor. Young is one of those career politicians that the good Dr. made a career out of mocking and cursing. Somewhere, in some dimension of space/time, Dr. Gonzo is laughing his ass off at Young. Cazart!

  • rickmaci

    These elected asshats are so used to being treated as the self anointed royalty that they haven't the faintest idea how to relate to the citizens they supposedly represent.

  • bflrtsplk

    If you stomp a waffle, you get it all over the soles of your shoes, then you track it on the carpet of the living room, then mom yells at you and … you know the rest.

  • SaintRond

    I called this woman a cunt once and while she was looking for a response her nose started bleeding.

    Peace… God bless…

  • Sassomatic

    "The quote continues, '[They] are not Americans, never have been Americans and never will be Americans.'"

    I guess at a certain IQ cutoff level, you are officially disqualified from American Citizenship forever. Makes sense.

    • DaRooster

      Well, he don't like Nacho Cheese and don't own no Hover-Round… so he ain't no 'Merican.

  • DahBoner

    Yeah, the last time I tried to enjoy a stack at my local IHOP, some waffle-stomping punks came in and tore up the joint…

  • trubador1

    The GOPers seem to think that anger trumps intellect always and forever, but the days when people were put off by their outbursts are over. What a pleasure to see an academic–and an ecologist, no less–give it back in spades.

  • valgal2342

    You can take an ANWR survey on Don Young's web site but if you do you have to submit to receiving update emails from him. Guess I'll write an old fashioned letter instead with some bogus return address.

  • owhatever

    Don Young: Six generations of a blubber diet.

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    Today we are all walrus penis bones.

    Seriously, I'm having trouble with the audio (as in it's not working,) but Douglas Brinkley? The Pulitzer Prize winner who has written on topics as diverse as Hurricane Katrina, Rosa Parks, and Teddy Roosevelt? One of the most respected historians in the country? The poor guy had to actually sit there and be lectured by the likes of Don Young? I so cherish our democracy.

  • Limeylizzie

    Jesus Christ, what is wrong with that man? David Brinkley is awesome, I would have punched that cunt.

  • BklynIlluminati

    Somebody call an exorcist!

  • Generation[redacted]

    Teddy Roosevelt never was an American, and never will be!

  • http://littlegreenfootballs.com/article/39308_Breitbarts_Fans_Spew_Racism_Call_for_President_Obama_t glamourdammerung

    Representative Young could not possibly be as arrogant as Nobama though. Look at his skin.

  • snoopyfan2010

    Yes, we do pay his salary. And I want to fire him too.

  • OccupytheDashboard

    Walrus penises have a bone in them? Fuck…the dudes are insatiable!

  • valgal2342

    Brian Williams must read Wonkette.

  • Antispandex

    This is so unfair! When the man said, "boring and flat", he was talking about the women in his district, not the landscape.

  • user-of-owls

    Ahem. I'll have you know that Dr. Owls is a proud graduate of Rice University.

    And yes, you may bow down before me as it is only fitting.

    p.s. Our athletic teams are known as the Fightin' Brinkleys.

    • Dok-cupy Everything

      I also like that Young assumed that Brinkley is a public employee–he appears to be unaware that there are "private sector" universities at all, let alone that Rice is one.

      Goooooooooooo BRINKLEYS!!

      • user-of-owls

        Better still?

        1) They bleed money;
        2) Lots of that money came from….oil;
        3) They are renowned for charging ludicrously low tuition (lower than in-state at UTexas!) and they only charge that for the relatively smallish number of 1%-ers they take in!

        You only think that cunt had an aneurysm before…wait til he tries to cut all 'government funding' of Rice U! Gimme a B, gimme an R, gimme an I…

  • northernbassist

    I believe the medical standard for 'brain aneurysm' requires a brain being involved. Clearly not the case with Young, or as we like to call him, "The Congressman For All Alaska, except anybody who didn't vote for him."

  • BarackMyWorld

    Brinkley is a very accomplished historian with an acclaimed international reputation so of course the dumbass didn't know who he was.

  • NYNYNYjr

    Ha ha. I forgot about that guy. Alaska is sure good at finding the whiniest bags of shit possible to elect, huh?

    Fox News Poll:
    O The Arctic Refuge is Real / Belongs to the American People
    O The Arctic Refuge was an Acid Dream / Belongs to Citibank
    O Not Sure

  • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

    No.

  • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

    "“Environmentalists…are not Americans, never have been Americans and never will be Americans.”

    Yeah, cause it's so un American to love the land and want to preserve it. Idiots.

  • Beowoof

    Typical, when you can't baffle a smart guy with your bullshit, just scream at him.

  • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

    1. Blather on and on about rights for the unborn.

    2. Destroy planet on which said unborn would live.

    3. Profit!

  • Master Janitor V572

    I’ve spent some time in Alaska and known some people there, and they love that spectacular environment in a deep way. They’ve more or less chosen to give up comfortable office jobs and mild winters to live in what they see as the last place on earth where you can live “the way God intended you to.” They like the hunting and fishing, sure, and they know their way around in the wild better than most people do. They see gun control and environmental regulations as bigger threats to their way of life—which has no traffic jams and vast open spaces and traditionally friendly frontier people who mostly know each other—than degradation of game species from oil spills or rural sprawl or indiscriminate logging or overfishing. They’re wrong, but it’s the confluence of livelihood and cultural inclination that makes them so angry when they feel it’s threatened.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      When they feel it's being threatened?
      The thing that's being threatened here is the checks that come in the mail, not the environment, or the fishing, or the hunting. Quite the opposite, in fact.

  • northernbassist

    And let's not forget this nugget from Yon Dung's past–this from the Anchorage Daily News, 4/23/95:

    "U.S. Rep. Don Young said he was just trying to educate high school students when he used an obscenity to refer to anal sex while denouncing government funding of the arts.

    Young, Alaska's lone congressman for 22 years and a former teacher, told the auditorium full of 15- through 18-year-olds that the federal government has funded "photographs of things that are absolutely ridiculous" and "photographs of people doing offensive things."

    When students asked which pictures he was talking about, Young said, "butt f——…. You think that's art?"

    At West Valley High School, his words Friday had the roughly 150 students laughing or grumbling."

    Stay classy, Congressman!!!

    • Steverino247

      It's art when I do it, motherfucker!

    • Dok-cupy Everything

      Forget it, Congressman. Simply mentioning assfucking is not enough to make Wonkette like you.

  • Steverino247

    Not to mention a recipient of the Medal of Honor whose oldest son went on to be awarded it for his work on D-Day.

  • hockeymom

    OT, it's bizarre to see Don Shelby referred to as a "MinnPost reporter."

  • ttommyunger

    Some days I'm really embarrassed to be an American. Watching this clown makes this one of those days.

  • Beanball

    Dr Brinkley was mentored by historian Stephen Ambrose, for fuck's sake! He taught at the US Naval Academy! He was the director of the Eisenhower Center at the University of New Orleans!

    Horee shit, this congressidiot is beyond appalling, he really really needs to be horsewhipped.

    And in defense of the roughly 52% of Alaskans who didn't vote for him and the rest of America who are wondering how in Sweet Baby Jesu's name he got on the Natural Resource Committee, it's because he BOUGHT his membership. http://maplight.org/content/72498

  • LetUsBray

    What has to happen before the denizens of these hick districts are embarrassed to be represented by such dickheaded morons?

    Besides the emergence of an even more dickheaded moron to vote for instead, I mean.

  • Negropolis

    Fuck you, Don Young. Really, just fuck you. That's right; slink out of there on your belly, vile serpent.

    I'm so fucking sick of Congress. Who the hell do they think they are? Who are they to tell anyone to be quiet with a fucking 9% approval rating? They are lucky that Occupy Wall Street still seems stuck on the banks. Belive you me, if they had wanted to, there could be a coup, so they better straight the hell up.

    Hey Don; given that this is Alaska, why don't you take a long fly off a short runway?

  • dennis1943

    This is a lesson in "states rights"……..to embarass themselves…….

  • Crowe2011

    Ted Stevens, Mike Gravel, Sarah Palin, Don Young…. are all Alaskan politicians crazy? What are they putting in the water up there? You say there's oil under ANWR? I say there's oil in the skull of every Alaskan politician. Or devils or something. My point is – drill baby, drill!

    • http://www.gurukalehuru.wordpress.com gurukalehuru

      Now, hold on there just a goll derned second, Mr. (or Ms., of course) Crowe2011. Mike Gravel might be crazy, but he's OUR crazy.

      • Crowe2011

        Hey, if I were American there's a good chance I would have voted for him just for 'Rock'*. Or Kucinich or something. But despite deserved praise for reading The Pentagon Papers into the record there's no question that by the time he made it to the DNC debates he was howl-at-the-moon crazy.

        *I'm deadly serious. I saw that video and was like "this guy gets it. This guy knows".

  • smitallica

    "It's your job to sit in that chair and answer questions, which I may or may not get to asking you any of after I've finished reading my prepared statement of insults, dismissals, and non-facts!!"

  • Quayle2012_KNOT

    Don Young has been perpetually enraged since 1987 when, during Robert Bork's Supreme Court confirmation hearings, he realized Bork was much better at imitating Victor Buono as King Tut on the Batman series.

  • Slim_Pickins

    Rep. Young is a compelling argument for term limits

  • June_Cleaver2.0

    I put Brinkley in the Elizabeth Warren category. Smart and understandable, obviously cares about the land. When will the American people get tired of the Republicans? They are obviously bad for the country's health.

  • 102415

    http://www.themudflats.net/2011/11/19/beanied-con
    I know this is late in coming but it needs to be here. He needs to be put in a nursing home or hospital.

  • poncho_pilot

    or their joke about how "Highway 6 runs both ways" implying that if you're a liberal you should go live in Austin. Highway 6 doesn't actually go to Austin.

  • unclejeems

    It goes to Waco, and that spoils the whole joke.