OMG you guys, Mitt Romney has a Flickr account. It is incredible. Here’s one of the very first pictures that “caught our eye,” oh lord. Mitt Romney, everyone! He has a Flickr, just like that Barack Obama did, back in 2008.
We were reading this Mother Jones thing about Romney’s alien strangeness, and were wondering where these amazing pictures came from, and how this vicious photographer somehow kept getting so close to Romney. Because anyone as “image conscious” as Mittens is not going to let some mean liberal news photographer keep hanging around when the pictures are so awful …. unless, of course, it’s Romney’s own photographer.
“I wish I could leave my spaceship and breathe the air of the Earthlings.”
[FLICKR]
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People are essentially food products too.
As are corporations.
I guess Soylent Green really is people, after all.
Chris, have some pepper spray. It's highly recommended by Fox News.
If Chris were about to be peppered, all he would have to do is hold up his emergency plate of pasta in front of him. Protection AND Great Flavor!
That or a Moob…
Here's Tubbo's favorite song http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EgHcM2HLaMA&fe…
Top picture: Is that a bedroom? If so, worst.porn.ever.
"Gee, it's sure hot in here. Maybe you should take off your shirt."
Eeeewwwww….At least Mitt can see his feet when he looks down. I wonder when the last time Chris has seen his wiener unless he was looking in a mirror.
Christie needs a speculum to see his weiner.
"I wonder when the last time Chris has seen his wiener unless he was looking in a mirror."
And even then, he'd have to be squatting overrrewwwwwww…
*dies*
This is amazing, now my pants are starting to chafe me.
Is that guys in the closet porn.
Looks like a hotel room to me. And yeah, I don't want to see what happens next.
"I bet you've got a lot of nice ties."
"How do you mean?"
"Would you like to tie me up with some of your ties, Chris-Tie?"
Mitt is a Republican, after all. He frequently meets other republican men in motel rooms.
In this photo, they are still at the stage where they are negotiating a price, and which one of them will be paying. Because it's totally not gay, as long as someone is getting paid for it.
There actually is a market for BBG vids.
In this, the Internet Age, there is a market for everything. I can think of something more heinous than anything thought of before and if I were to announce it here, in 5 minutes there would be focus groups and a marketing plan to sell such an idea.
Until I master the "art" of writing a business plan, I'm keeping my mouth shut for the time being.
I just got a dozen investors to pony up $1.5 million in startup money for that idea.
"worst.porn.ever."
"Anybody order a pizza?"
The first photo should be captioned: "Love is in the air".
Disco Libel!
Wait, never mind…..
Is that what that is? I thought Chris Christie farted.
Christie wants to know if Mitt's tie is made of blueberries.
Because he's hungry all the time. Because he's fat.
Wocka wocka.
Not one picture of a bird! Pretty useless if you ask me.
"Mittens looks more stiff as he tries to escape being sucked into Chris Christie's event horizon which is apparently around his pants as no light can be seen in that area."
It's like a Tea Party "Curb Your Enthusiasm."
If Mitzi doesn't win the nomination, the least Obama can do is name him Poet Laureate!
That's a dangerous job nowadays.
Law enforcement puts the "beat" in beat poet.
Christie: Pass the ketchup and hurry. I'm hungry dammit!
Mitt: Michele? Two waters over here please.
Where are the name tags on those cute Mormon missionaries?
Where are the name tags on those cute Mor
mon missionaries?Fixed.
"Elder Bland" and "Elder Lard."
Won't work, Mormon Missionaries either walk or bike. Not only does Christie not exercise, but he prefers helicopters to transport his bulk.
The Lard works in strange ways.
Are those pepper spray drops on the boat windshield?
Hardly, try a diamond infused champaigne mixture applied by monkey paw to the bullet proof bridge enclosure, using a gold plated crystal mister operated by a golden tamaran – who I might add is being hoisted up by a golden tanned mexican. Ambiance is everything when it comes to great photo composition.
If Mitt is going to big up Christie, then this picture needs the obligatory "We're going to need a bigger boat." quote.
Nah, but he's got his dog strapped to the roof.
Mitt: Inside Looking Out
Would that these pics were scratch-n-sniff, because I'm almost positive the first pic would reek of vinegar and water.
Massengil libel!
…And the bag it came in.
Wait – I was assured there would be fudge!
… Santorum perhaps.
Dammit! Why didn't I get the memo that it was Blue Tie Day???!!!
"Of the six Applebee's within ninety miles of here, my favorite one is…."
That second picture, … Mitt's White Whale, it all makes sense now. Except for the underwear.
Mittens: Dude, are you playing pocket pool?
Christie: NO! I'm sure I haz a sammich down here somewhere…
~
Christie makes William Howard Taft look svelte!
GET IN MY BELLY!!!
http://www.metacafe.com/watch/mv-vGyox/get_in_my_…
are they playing Eat, Fuck, or Kill?
Only with Christie, its nibble, gorge or inhale.
The Christie version of that is Eat, Eat, or Eat.
Come on, Mitt Romney's no alien; he's a robot, one who can't quite understand these things we hu-mans call "feelings".
They are the perfect couple, cause they literally look like a "10" standing next to each other.
"Don't worry, Chris, I'm sure we could find some magic underwear in your size."
I'm getting major old cartoon flashbacks when I look at that top photo. All I see is Romney standing chest deep in a giant boiling cauldron while Christie looks on sporting a lion skin loincloth and a giant bone through his nose.
"lion skin loincloth and a giant bone through his nose"
Viral right-wing Obama racist joke email libel!!!
Just keep your hands and feet away from Chris Christie's mouth, and you should be safe.
The second picture: what's the betting that Mitt is indulging in his favourite stress-relief pastime of using his huge motor yacht to mow down dolphins?
Baby seals. He's killing baby seals.
The mark of a real man of the people, taking your yacht out for a spin before heading off to the track to watch your ponies race.
He has one strapped to the roof of the boat.
Finally, a way to dispel Mitt's image as a stiff.
These really are up there with that infamous photo of Nixon looking "casual" by going for a walk on the beach, aren't they?
Who's got your camera, though,
Who?
Who let the dog's out,
Who? Who?
That's it, send the other poet laureates home…
I'll have the Diablo sandwich and a Dr.Pepper and make it snappy I'm in a got damn hurry!
Jackie Gleason for the win!
Actually, it looks as though Christie has already eaten a Romney or two.
I'd prefer that he eat a bag of salted dicks, but I didn't do so well during the Iron Chef audition, so, ya know …
Mitt's slogan could be: At least I'm not fat … or Newt.
Neut is both.
Redundant.
Christie: "Meghan McCain should be here any second now and we can start. She's bringing the strap-on."
Mitt sails in a world where the horizon is tilted 10 degrees off the horizontal. What the fuck?
Well it's clear that this Mitt Romney guy doesn't care at all about being a better photographer because he won't allow comments.
I find these photographs difficult to masterbate to.
If you squint, Christie looks kinda like Chaz Bono. Hope that helps
But not impossible…
These photos were not meant to be visually arousing, but rather as a visual emetic.
The aliens have done a spectacular job with Kang, but they really need to tighten the straps on Kodos' costume.
George Wendt will play Christie in the movie.
What, was John Goodman busy that week?
They are in a bedroom of some sort. Mitt: "so I'm gonna' lay on the bed, then your gonna' come and fuck me in the ass, kay?
CANNONBALL!
Mitt seems to like hanging around with sickly pale white folks.
Here's one of Mitt standing in front of a bunch of machinery — or as he calls it, his base.
"Now at the end of your shift, you shut down a machine like this one. But as a job creator, I would shut down entire companies."
I think I'm beginning to see why he says they're people too.
Those pictures are like a Sopranos episode–remember the one on the boat?–with Mittens as Paulie Walnuts and Chris Christie as Big Pussy Bonpensiero. Big Pussy came to a sad end, with the fishes.
Eww! Corproporn.
I think I see what you did there?
Corprolites are people my friend.
Mitt doesn't fear the reaper. He drives the reaper.
If you click on the linky, you'll be rewarded thus:
What I love about those pics is the crowds — the first black person appears on page five, second row from the bottom. Mitt must be the only human being on earth who can do a whole campaign swing through Florida and attract only white people.
"Mitt must be the only human being on earth who can do a whole campaign swing through Florida and attract only white people."
Good point! Although, frankly, I'm amazed that he was able to attract anybody.
True story! A long time ago when I was living in France I actually met Mitt Romney who was over there doing missionary work. One day he invited a few of us to join him on a ride to Pau down in the Pyrenees. With Mitt behind the wheel, we set out for the drive and wouldn't you know it, all of a sudden there was a big *POW!* and it turns out we'd been in a head-on collision with another car. The funny thing is, you see, that I wound up being killed in the crash! Ha! I'll never forget that day!
–Leola Anderson
But they met their goal of 200 baptisms for the year, so everything was okay.
Ha ha, persuading the French to give up cigarettes, coffee and wine — a fool's errand, if ever there was one.
"In June 1968, an automobile Romney was driving in southern France was hit by another vehicle, seriously injuring him and killing one of his passengers, the wife of the mission president."
Meh, the mission prez probably had a few to spare.
Now if you check the well-tended Wikipedia page, you'll see that Romney was not at fault in that accident. And they even cite two references. A New York Times article of a couple of years ago, which cites no evidence or sources at all and just asserts flatly "Romney was not at fault". And a Boston Globe article of a couple of years ago, which talks not only to Romney (who was knocked unconscious and who should therefore be expected to have no memories of the ten or so minutes just before. i.e. of the accident) but also two of Romney's friends in the car (another of whom was knocked unconscious): Everyone still living who had been in the Romney car. All sides of the story, in other words.
They are absolutely unanimous that the other driver (a local Catholic priest) was completely at fault, and some unnamed sources (identified as "Mormon sources") suggested the priest was inebriated. According to the Romney group, as quoted in the Globe, they didn't press charges or even sue for recovery of damages, because they didn't want to create ill-will with the Catholic church and the French government, which sounds totally plausible. When the Globe contacted the French police, they said they had no records extending that far back, and apparently the Church and the Romney's didn't keep copies of any exculpatory documentation, since the Globe story doesn't mention any. But hey, who keeps every little slip of paper around?
Where's the long form accident report?
They were playing chicken. The priest was all, like, "Your magic underwear won't save you now, bitches!" and floored it and then the Mittster was like, "No effing way, Padre! The pope wears dresses!" and stomped on the gas and they slammed head-on into each other, and the lady in the passenger seat went to heaven. The End.
Silly Romney, killing your main squeeze in a traffic crash makes you First Lady, not President.
In all fairness, the French are horrific drivers.
Your move, Laura Bush.
Christie is playing up to Mitt cause he wants to be named Secretary of Steak.
But then he'd have to move to Puerto Rico!
Diversity — you'll note that some of the white people are pinkish, while others are almost tan.
Then you got your Orange Crush Tribe.
Ya gotta give it to Mitt. Standing that close to a gas giant before it implodes into a singularity is…brave.
I have to believe he's trapped in the gravitational pull.
"That's no moon, that's a governor!"
He's got nothing to fear. He's a black hole.
Romney and Christie are eyeing each other in a bedroom. I wish I hadn't seen that.
Once seen, some things cannot be unseen. Never speak of this again.
Mitt better hope he is not the catcher.
FUN FACT: A Catcher's Mitt is also know as a Pud.
The more you know!
Eye bleach! Eye bleach!
Eye bleach, hell! I want the memory erasing thing from "Men in black"!
Eye ball ipecac isn't it.
I saw these guys at the International Wankers Convention. Oh, wait, I wasn't there.
"You buy the extra-long Countess Mara ties at the Big-and-Tall Shop, Mitt? What a coincidence, so do I!"
Well Mittens is certainly moving with the times. I heard he has teh faceboox too.
From the MotherJones article:
NEEDZ MOAR WILLIAM SHATNER
I've never been to Spain.
But I have been to Oklahoma…
Oklahoma, not Arizona, what does it matter?
The palpable awkwardness of Romney borders on painful, BUT if you can visualize the metal bolts on either side of Mitt's neck, that surely must have been photoshopped away by his personal historian, you can almost see an endearing monster – by no means a peter boyle, more like a Fred Gwynne special.
Worst. Laurel and Hardy. Remake. EVER.
Well, since you "take pictures of birds and shit"… it fulfills one of the criteria.
Worst Before and After picture ever.
Which one is which?
Bluto? Olive Oyl? That you?
That pic is an obvious shop job, you can tell by the pixels…and no human can possibly be that much bigger than a robot.
Those two are so, so white.
Mitt wanted to put his OWN photos on the Flickr account too, but he can't figure out where on his computer to stick the 35mm film roll.
I THINKZ WHITE SHIRTS MEAN YOU'RE GAY.
OR LIVE IN MIAMI…
You can fit 2 Romneys in 1 Christie, but it's the same empty suit.
If they find a live girl or a dead Mitt in Christie's hotel room, he's toast.
Warm, buttery toast.
Worst Menswear Catalog Photo Shoot Ever.
Photo looks like an optical illusion with Christie a few orders of magnitude larger than Mittens. Reminds me of that old Fleetwood Mac album cover.
Christie needs to stop giving us fatties a bad name.
My entry in "Picture Caption Contest":
"Does this tie make me look as fat as you?"
Why the hell isn't she out campaigning insteading hosting Tupperware parties?
http://www.flickr.com/photos/mittromney/622348551…
God, that looks like a real fun Mormon party.
No booze, dope, snacks or beverages…
Christie said to Mitt Romeny " Get In My BELLY !"
-Wanna see my ties?
-Only if you give me a flickr.
Also, 2nd picture – Is that Mitt out looking for his integrity?
Romney's thought bubble: "Oh, oh, oh: I'm about to be photographed. Remember to smile. Should I turn my entire body toward Christie or just my head? I'll do just the head. Stand ramrod straight like Perry? No, too unnatural; I'll slump a bit for the common touch. Now what should I do with my arms – fold them? No, looks too severe. Put my hands in my pockets? No, can't do that, Christie already did that with his hands. Is there something I can point at … I can't just let them hang there … I need to …" CLICK!
Christie's thought bubble: "2016."
Mitt Romney is the only man in the world who can pilot a boat downhill.
"We're just two regular dudes hanging out in this hotel room. Just regular guys in front of a King sized bed."
Actually, they're in front of a California King.
Regarding the 2nd picture, If that is in Boston Harbor, Mittens is one of those boaters called a MAFI (Motor Assisted Fucking Idiot), frequently the objects of virulent disdain and long strings of cuss words from ferry captains for criss-crossing the channels and other fuck nuttery.
It's like a fun house mirror, but who is real???
Neither.
Don't move, Mitt, then he won't know you are prey.
Drool came out of my mouth from laughing at this comment.
Am I the only person who sees a picture of Chris Christie, and thinks, just for a second, that he's Bobby Baccala?
Word bubble over Mitt's head in top photo: "Well, I'd be lying if I said I haven't thought about it, Chris."
OK, so there's Eat and Pray. Where's Love?
There are Crush Videos and then there are Crush videos.
So life-like, this Mitt Romney. You'd almost swear he's not a robot, even.
Mitt never seems to know what to do with his arms.
Ir's easy to see why the Govs self-loathing gets turned on others…………
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