What are the jabbering fascist insects at Fox News saying about the school cops viciously attacking America’s college students? Oh, you know, pepper spray is just a “food product,” right? And college kids are often liberals, so … totally warranted! And harmless! So we guess Bill O’Reilly and his vapid hair product sidekick are saying is this: Get your “food product” and head on over to the Fox News studios and prove them right! Hell, it hardly hurts to be pepper sprayed in the face. Professionals actually like it.

Max Read at Gawker writes:

Tonight, Fox News hosts Bill O’Reilly and Megyn Kelly got to talking about a UC Davis police officer’s appalling use of pepper spray on nonviolent protesters over the weekend. Guess what direction the conversation took!

If you guessed “needlessly deferential to authority and dismissive to the suffering of protesters,” you guessed correctly!

You know what else is a “food product,” technically? Wet paper sacks of dog shit. Make sure to throw a couple at Bill O’Reilly for Thanksgiving! [Gawker]

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  • Fukui_sanYesOta

    So's ricin. Have a ball.

    • L188188

      No kidding! A couple'a castor beans, whats the big deal? Great with pork chops!

    • LiveToServeYa

      And hemlock is an all-natural herb.

    • Serolf_Divad

      Pork Fried Ricin… mmmmmm… my favorite!

    • BerkeleyBear

      I'd prefer they go with cyanide. I'm into the classics.

  • OneDollarJuana

    It's a food product! No, it's a vegetable mist! No, it's a food product!

    • UW8316154

      Can't be a food product or the Reagan administration would have long ago approved as a vegetable for school lunches.

  • actor212

    If you spray it on pizza, you have a Federally recommended meal!

    • dadanarchist

      This will be the entirety of President Herman Cain's School Lunch Program.

  • MittsHairHelmet

    I like to substitute pepper spray for peppercorns when I cook steaks.

  • johnnymeatworth

    Sure, and pizza sauce is a vegetable.

    Oh wait….

  • BaldarTFlagass

    I really like the spicy Mexican food, but even with habaneros it's not enough, so I carry my handy pepper spray and give myself a blast in the face with every bite of those delicious cheese enchiladas.

  • Pepper Spray is to pepper as the Sun is to a candle.

    Quite frankly I'm surprised Megyn (who but a self important bad speller has their fucking name spelled out like that) didn't go "Bam! Kick it up a notch!"

    • Chichikovovich

      Her parents were hoping she would be a Megynocologist.

      • Fukui_sanYesOta

        She still has to look at cunts all day.

  • unclejeems

    Wet paper bags of dog shit. Newt, is that you?

  • prommie

    Did you mean "Cop Knob-Slobberers?" "Sloppy Cop Knob-Slobbering, Cum-burping Guttersluts," perhaps?

  • Crank_Tango

    …and botulinum toxin, and anthrax, and mad cow disease, and salmonella, and pig aids, etc.

  • mrpuma2u

    Wild almonds have enough cyanide to kill you, eat up Bill. It's 100% natural.

    • CommieLibunatic

      Can you really die from cyanide poisoning just from eating almonds? I know I freaked my mom out when I was a baby by just inhaling the things, but I'm under the impression that it's the kind of thing you need to distill or something.

      • mrpuma2u

        It's not the normal, selectively breed for millenia almonds that we eat, but there are still wild varieties in the near middle east in which the cyanide content is much higher, It's a fact in the Library of Congress. It could have been a fact in the OWS library but we'll never know now 'cuz the police THREW ALL THE BOOKS AWAY! Shitbirds.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Especially delicious when ordered with a side order of waterboard.

    • Chichikovovich

      Food and drink on the house. Luxury!

  • OneDollarJuana

    "It's a derivative of actual pepper"

    Well, ricin, one of the deadliest poisons known, is a derivative of castor beans. Just a food product, though.

    • anniegetyerfun

      You know what I love? Mustard gas. It's all natural, AND effective.

  • memzilla

    And Zyklon B is just an insecticide. The Giftgas that keeps on giving!

  • prommie

    Is she the one who said that waterboarding, stress positions, mock executions and such, are essentially just like "frat hazing?" Or is this kind of thinking just so common among them?

    • Master Janitor V572

      As long as it's being done to people Roger Ailes doesn't like, which now includes Sarah Palin, so the next step is obvious.

    • torture is just bro diplomacy, essentially

    • Oblios_Cap


  • Sue4466

    I want the dimwitted fucktard to use pepperspray on her Thanksgiving turkey.

    • Dr_Zoidberg

      I want the dimwitted fucktard to use pepper spray on herself.

      • memzilla

        I want to switch the label on her Massengill.

        • BaldarTFlagass

          Put the KY Jelly label on the Vicks Vapo-Rub or Icy Hot.

          • nonbeliever7

            That's a bad thing?

      • Sue4466

        that too. also.

    • prommie

      You know, it might just work on chicken wings.

      • BerkeleyBear

        ehh, 1000x the scoville units of a jalepeno is a little extreme, even for most chili heads. That's like 20x scotch bonnets, which can mess your ass up for a good long time.

        Maybe, if you used one spritz in the whole batch, and used a buttermilk soak on the chicken to cut off the effect of the heat, it wouldn't scorch your throat too bad.

    • SorosBot

      I would not want to have to look at or smell her toilet the next day.

      • Sue4466

        I'ma just gonna say there's not really any day I want to look at or smell her toilet. Or anyone's really.

        • prommie

          Yeah, really, I think Sorosbot inadvertantly gave out some disturbing information with that post.

  • DaRooster

    Walnuts… that's food right? Here Billy O. let me grab my wrist rocket.

    (Yes, I do have a wrist rocket)

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Lemme just charge up my spud gun with some hairspray; you can start running now, Bill, but you'll only die tired.

      • CommieLibunatic

        If we're gonna dabble in backyard ballistics, I'd like to try a trebuchet instead. You can launch all sorts of payloads from that thing, from boulders to Plague-infested corpses. You could even use Chris Christy if you build one big enough!

  • freakishlywrong

    Asswipes. All of them. Remember Boss Hawg referring to the BP spill that destroyed the Gulf of Mexico as "food mousse"? What the fuck with these fuckers?

    • memzilla

      I remember Rep. Joe Barton [R-Exxon] apologizing to BP. Looks like the Pepper Growers of America lobbyist paid a visit to Faux studios.

  • x111e7thst

    Have some pepper spray with your falafel Bill.

  • johnnymeatworth

    And Orange Julius is just watered-down Agent Orange….

    • I thought it was the other way around.

    • Master Janitor V572

      Actually the fine Monsanto product marketed as "Roundup" is in fact a diluted version of Agent Orange, known to its few friends as 2,4D. So it's all good!

  • HempDogbane

    To subdue Bill, you have to rub a liberal amount of falafel on him and then spray with a light coat of pepper juice. A Misto works great for this purpose.

    • He'll fold like an accordion at polka festival when you get to "liberal".

  • hagajim

    I hear Billo uses it on his loofah to scrub his dumb ass.

  • Suck My Balls

    Feeding the poors Republican Jesus style!

  • Sue4466

    I think BillO's falafel has already proven that food can be an offensive weapon.

  • slithytoves

    Sorry, but the video I saw was not pepper spray – that thing was a fucking hose.

  • By their thinking arsenic is a natural occurring organic element and thus harmless. Hey Bill! Would you like a nice healthy arsenic sandwich?

    • actor212

      Well, if you recall the hoopla over Bush relaxing the rules regarding arsenic in drinking water….

    • Cyanide occurs in miniscule amounts in fruit seeds, so cyanide poisoning is just having an apple pie, essentially.

  • Poindexter718

    Bill sprays it on his loofah, which, after all, is a vegatable.

  • Pragmatist2

    I'll take mine freshly ground.

  • L188188

    From the same school of thought that produced "Carbon dioxide is actually made by trees! How can it be bad for the atmosphere?" Didn't any of these mouth-breathers ever accidentally dump too much Tetra-Min in their aquariums as a kid and see what too much of any "natural" thing does to life?

  • freakishlywrong

    Has Sean Hannity offered to be sprayed yet to prove it's harmless food product? Like he didn't get waterboarded?

    • SayItWithWookies

      He could do both in one special — that's something I might even tune in to watch.

      • BaldarTFlagass

        Half-time show during the Lions-Packers game this Thursday!!

      • freakishlywrong

        It's what TIVO was made for. Watch it in an eternal loop. Braying jackass.

      • Fukui_sanYesOta

        That'd be so good. Once he pops off the board after three seconds choking his fat face off, he instantly gets pepper sprayed. Repeatedly.

        • GunToting[Redacted]

          I would subscribe to this pay-per-view.

    • DahBoner

      Everyone knows pussies don't like water!

    • Native_of_SL_UT

      At least Christopher Hitchens volunteered for the water-boarding. Changed his tune in a hurry, didn't it?

  • thefrontpage

    O'Reilly and Kelly and Ailes and all of the other jabbering facist insects at Faux News should be pepper sprayed while lying down on a board with water poured on their face, every day, for a couple of hours, until they wake up from their evil spell, denounce Faux News as the work of the devil, resign, effective immediately, and there is no more Faux News ever again.

    • emmelemm


  • SorosBot

    So grabbing Bill O'Reilly's balls and twisting and crushing them as hard as possible would be giving him a handjob, something he'd like.

  • Baconzgood

    "One squirt and your south of the border"

    -Bill "Fuck it we'll do it live" O'Reilly-

    • DahBoner

      San Fernando Valley border?

  • Sparky_McGruff

    You'll have to forgive Megyn Kelly. She spends a lot of time with stuff splattering in her face. It's how she keeps her job.

  • RadiosTyrone

    And those riot gear helmets are OSHA required. We've got to stop the regulatory madness and unleash the economy.

  • BarackMyWorld

    I want to extend the same offer regarding pepper spray that was once made with the waterboarding they still insist isn't torture.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Pepper spraying nonviolent protesters is just a bit of fun — but if Bill Clinton taps on Chris Wallace's clipboard during an interview, you better believe that's assault and battery. Really, the mentality of these Fox Criminal Enterprises talking heads is about where mine was when my brother and I used to draw a border down the back seat during long car trips and get indignant if we encroached on each other's territory.

  • BarackMyWorld

    I'd hate to hear what they'd say if anyone ever used mustard gas on protesters.

    • elviouslyqueer

      Hot dogs, anyone?

      • DahBoner

        Nice thing about the CHILI/ONION gas?

        No gas…

    • BaldarTFlagass

      They'd be alright with that as long as it was good ole American yellow mustard (any brand but, you know, French's)!

    • LetUsBray

      I'm not sure they'd be saying anything per se, so much as orgasmically shrieking.

  • hollywooddood

    Personally, I like to spray pepper in my eyes and up my nose, but only when I have scrambled eggs.

  • PhilippePetain

    Exactly how stupid can this get before people just stop and say "Well, golly, this is beyond all limits of stupidity that I'm willing to accept"?

    • anniegetyerfun

      Much, much stupider.

    • gingerland62

      Have you seen the GOP nominees? If they haven't said it yet there is no hope.

  • It's no longer Legal or Adviseable to gather in huge numbers in the U.S. anymore. Did you guys miss the memo? It's being sent right now, by Fox News.

    • DahBoner

      Tri-corner hat loophole?

  • Ducksworthy

    Megyn. Please note that it also makes a refreshing douche. Maybe its the gyn in her name that brings this up.

    • gingerland62


  • chascates
    • James Michael Curley

      Great chop. I'm going to make this my wall paper on my phone.

  • Bill is just sucking up to the pepper spray manufacturers so they'll advertise on his show.

    Announcer: Has this ever happened to you?
    shows harried housewife trying to shake pepper but cap falls off, then she sneezes, then falls and hits her head
    Announcer: Or this?
    same housewife trying to grind some pepper but wincing in pain as her elbow is strained, then falls and hits her head
    Announcer: Try SpraySpice instead!
    same house wife sprays down table full of dinner plates with red pepper spray. smiles as her family hugs her
    Announcer: Available in the sporting goods section of your grocery store. Buy some today!

  • FidoMcCokefiend

    Let's replace Megyn's bottle for her new baby with some of this "food product".

    • bikerlaureate

      The kid's got it bad enough already, with that camera whore for a "mom".

  • Waterboarding=dunking according to Darth Cheney.

  • They gave these kids FREE pepper spray and they're complaining…. Who gets the bill for all this wasted food?

    There are protesters in Egypt who would love to be pepper-sprayed!

  • north_of_moscow

    And those riot-control bean bag rounds can be popped right in the microwave!

    • actor212

      Makes a great heating pad!

  • Haven't the slobs ever been to a nice italian resturant??? Do they understand the words, "would you like pepper spray on that, Sir"???

  • Suck My Balls

    Let them eat yellowcake!

    • That will give them a warm glow.

  • widestanceshakedown

    To certain species, Bill + Megyn are also food products.

    • James Michael Curley

      "don't get on that ship! The rest of the book To Serve Man, it's… it's a cookbook!"

  • EatsBabyDingos

    A frozen carrot in the eye is food. Hungry?

  • Master Janitor V572

    Would all you liberal whiners* be satisfied if the Lt John Pike had just used one of those Brogdignagian peppermills from Costco on the demonstrators? No, then you'd be demanding they provide salt to go with it.
    "Wah, wah, wah, what about my constitutional rights?"

    • He was going to squirt ketchup on them, but the university could never afford the cleaning bills they would get stuck with.

  • kissawookiee

    LIke Billo said, if it was real pepper spray, they would've had more of a reaction. They were clearly just mooching the free condiments so thoughtfully provided by Lt. Pike, before heading off to steal ketchup packets and biodegradable sporks from the cafeteria.

  • Do you find Pepper Spray with the condiments or the chef's imported spice section?

  • GregComlish

    Minute quantities of iron are also found in food so I guess there's no harm is grabbing a hammer and smashing somebody's face

    • actor212

      "He's anemic! Quick, get me the sledge! "

  • Mojopo

    Dear Smart People: I've noticed that there are more photos of women being pepper sprayed than men. Which might not mean anything and could be a photographic coincidence – maybe they use those photos more often for emotional impact. Or, there is a gender bias, or bias against spindly little students who weigh 100 lbs. soaking wet. How would I find out? Are pepper spray incidents on public record? Just curious.

    • Or is this some sort of perverted twist on wet T-shirt night?

      • Mojopo


    • actor212

      Well, in NYC, they were taking to running the men over with scooters and pepper-spraying the chicks. Maybe it's a foreplay thing

  • Eve8Apples

    When the lunchroom cafeteria cooks flavor the school children's french fries and pizza with pepper spray, the little angels receive three servings of vegetables.

  • WhatTheHeck

    Unfortunately, Fox News was contaminated with naturally occurring stupidity from the very beginning.

    No known cure at this present time.

  • zappadoo76

    Leave Megyn alone! At least she accused Chief Annette of making shit up. That's pretty astute for someone whose name means "ME WOMAN" in Greek.

    • SorosBot

      And here I thought Megyn meant "My parents were morons who can't spell for shit".

  • chascates
  • Joshua Norton

    Mustard gas is just a hot dog condiment. Quit your belly achin' libs.

  • BlueStateLibel

    So which Faux News yammerer will volunteer to be pepper-sprayed in the face just to prove that pepper spray is a delicious food product?

    • SayItWithWookies

      Having accidentally pepper-sprayed myself in the hand once (I was idly trying to see if the canister came out of its holder) I can attest that that stuff stings a lot. If Bill or Megyn got a blast in the face they'd be screaming like spanked children — right up until the waterboarding started.

    • elviouslyqueer

      All of them, Katie?

      Oh please, like this comment wasn't begging for it.

      • HarryButtle

        Yea, but how many will follow thru and actually allow themselves to be sprayed?

        None of 'em, Katie.

  • arihaya

    what next? will Fox News call concentration camps as picnic center?

    • actor212

      Complete with showers for after!

  • Ducksworthy

    As a side note: Spraying your birdseed with pepper spray discourages the squirrels but not the birds. Well maybe the birds too. But the seed lasts longer in the feeder.

  • El Pinche

    The sad thing is that Megyn''s chin has to endure being sprayed by BillO's "food product" and old balls.

  • Larry McAwful

    This was an example of "reasonable force"? Well, if FoxNews is an example of "news", then why the hell not?

  • Baconzgood

    Peanuts are food products and if I give them to my aunt she dies. But they are still food so it's ok.

  • LiveToServeYa

    Hah, just inhale the vapor made of a specialty hot sauce, say 'Screaming Sphincter', and you'll be convinced it's not a happy thing.

  • freakishlywrong

    OT but Katrina Vanderhuvel is bitch slapping the regrettable "Democrat" Mort Zuckerman on MSNBC. It's delish…

  • NowTheyTellMe

    I watched as much of that as I could. I felt like I was observing the defense team in the Rodney King case as they coolly deconstructed his savage beating. It is truly a sad day when Megyn Kelly is the "voice of reason," no matter that it's in comparison to Bill O'Heil-ey. I'll hand it to Fox – they know how to package outrageous misconduct to satisfy their smug, self-righteous audience.

  • a_pink_poodle

    I'm sure a few people here would be more than happy to give Fox News an extra helping of pepper spray on their eggs!

  • mavenmaven

    "The police chief was placed on adm leave for 'following orders', can you believe that?"
    I suppose they ought to watch Judgement at Nuremberg.

    • Beowoof

      They don't like movies which for them have an unhappy ending.

      • mavenmaven


  • Tundra Grifter

    I remember seeing Homer Simpson use pepper spray on his food.

    All this time, I thought that wasn't real life!

    • Generation[redacted]

      Needz moar Guatemalan insanity peppers.

    • LetUsBray

      Mmmmm… Incapacitating!

  • Tundra Grifter

    As my Dad says, "Arsenic is natural."

  • dadanarchist

    God damnit, I know there's a Herman Cain/Godfather's Pizza joke in here somewhere, but I'm too sleep-addled/horrified to come up with it……

  • prommie


  • elviouslyqueer

    High in protein, also, too!

  • chascates

    Yet more 'pepper spraying cop' photoshops:

  • HedonismBot

    Reminds me of that old Saturday Night Live TV commercial parody.

    Husband: "Pepper spray is a dessert topping!"

    Wife: "Pepper spray is a brutal weapon to quash liberal dissent!"

    Husband: "Dessert topping, you bitch!"

    Wife: ""Brutal weapon to quash dissent, you limp-wrist closet case! I'm tired of being your beard!"

    Announcer: "Calm down, folks! Pepper spray is both a dessert topping AND a brutal weapon to quash liberal dissent! Put it on your Sundae, or use it to hose down that smarty-pants vegan college kid down the street. It's both! And it's kosher, too."

    Husband and wife (in unison): "Ooooohhh! Aaaahh!"

    • prommie

      clap clap clap clap. . . .

  • MrFizzy

    Megyn Kelly should be sprayed with something, and it ain't pepper.

    • GunToting[Redacted]


      • MrFizzy

        almost, but cummier

  • MrFizzy

    I always thought the most fun job in the world would be working as a "reporter" for the Enquirer, but now I'm thinking it would be coming up with stuff like pepper spray being food. Requires a deep understanding of the republican/conservative mind, i.e. what lie can we tell that your average Arby's patron is going to believe, or at least repeat.

  • littlebigdaddy

    Pepper spray goes in…vomit comes out….ya can't explain that.

  • NickDanger007

    Oh, for an opportunity to soak the entire Faux building with pepper spray! And CS gas.

  • owhatever

    The campus cops on a college campus felt surrounded by students. Weird.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    And getting blasted by a sonic cannon is no worse than getting blasted by Eric Bloom's "stun guitar" when you attend a Blue Öyster Cult concert.

  • anniegetyerfun

    Too much sodium.

  • Allmighty_Manos

    The crap Kelly pastes on her face and hair is probably a lot more toxic than pepper spray.

  • Dumbedup

    Well, with props to the departed Hunter S. Thompson, those idiots should be pepper sprayed, ram fed acid and viagra and locked in the showers of a super max prison. It will help them discover empathy.

    • Generation[redacted]

      …and possibly, true love (but I'm a hopeless romantic).

  • proudgrampa

    Jesus Fucking Christ.

  • Flat_Earther

    Don't put pepper spray on anything you are eating while watching porn. I am just saying…

  • ibwilliamsi

    ANYTHING that grows and can be ingested is a food product, right? Just like heroin and weed. BTW, Megan, do you care to go for the "It doesn't really hurt. Let me demonstrate for you how easy it is" angle on this one. I'd gladly find the Faux News channel on my dial to watch that one.

  • Generation[redacted]

    Bill-O: "Bull Conner really should have gotten more of a reaction out of those marchers."

  • KeepFnThatChicken

    …and dick is a great source of protein.

    • poncho_pilot

      see above ^

  • proudgrampa

    Here, Megyn, put some pepper spray on this bag of lightly salted rat dicks.

  • Barrelhse

    Megyn, pus is also a naturally occurring product. Have a nice tall glass with your scab sandwich, bitch.

  • poncho_pilot

    hey, it's like Bill says here,: they're liberals so they deserved it.

  • poncho_pilot

    Megyn Kelly on To Serve Man: "it's a cook book, essentially."

  • DahBoner



  • Steverino247

    Check this out:

    The US Army concluded in a 1993 Aberdeen Proving Ground study that pepper spray could cause "[m]utagenic effects, carcinogenic effects, sensitization, cardiovascular and pulmonary toxicity, neurotoxicity, as well as possible human fatalities. There is a risk in using this product on a large and varied population."

    You know when the Army doesn't want to spray something on you, it's GOT to be bad.

  • chascates

    And on her Wikipedia page (probably for a short time only):

    Kelly also thinks that pepper spray is essentially a food product that could make your Thanksgiving turkey extra scrumptious.

  • Bill O'Reilly is within his legal rights to pepper-spray an uncooperative bitch producer so that he can drag her into the shower, if she has previously been noncompliant with issues raised in her performance review (i.e. "sucking it"). Any reasonable person can see that!

  • KennyCB

    "Oh, Bill! Just take two loofahs and call me in the morning, OK?";
    or, The Megyn Kelly Story

    What possibly gives greater thrills?
    Than faux blondes subsisting on pills?
    Mendacity rules
    With Fox lady tools —
    Her yap's open? — Head for the hills!

  • gingerland62

    First rule of democracy- Don't Monday morning quarterback the police decisions.

  • bikerlaureate

    "Jabbering fascist insects" is like a shot of premium insulin. Or capiscum. Also, too.

  • Sassomatic

    Bill seems disappointed that the kids were's convulsing on the ground.

  • There is a woman in Seattle that had her unborn child murdered by "vegetable mist" and some cop beating. I someone doubt that is going to make it on Fox "news" despite their assertions that the fetus had more rights than the host/mother.

  • Sure, it's a food product, if the food is Guatemalan insanity peppers.

  • fitley

    They should have thrown Megyn on to the protesters I'm sure they'd have run from that vile piece of filth.

  • Gleem_McShineys

    What about being sprayed with weapons-grade horseshit? Please be careful when watching this video.

  • eastcoastelite

    Fuckin' idiots. Sorry, that's all I've got.

  • ttommyunger

    "Fox News Cop-Slobberers Say Pepper Spray Is ‘Food Product’." Riiiight. And Pizza is a vegetable, and waterboarding is not torture.

  • DesertTed

    Hemp is also a food product.

    So why in hell is it illegal to grow it in this country?

  • lulzmonger

    These two simpering camwhores are ALSO "a food product" … for brainworms.

  • sbj1964

    Megyn Kelly is just another evil ABC on FoxNews ! ( Angry,Blond,C@nt)

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