Is there “some stuff” going on in the country today, maybe? Sure, a few things, like shopping day with Joe Biden! Here for example from some freshly-arrived Barack Obama re-election campaign spam promoting their online store is this convenient beer koozie with Joe’s goofy grinning mug on it. And what’s the “best part” of showing your support by using the Internet to purchase cheap crap, according to the email? “You won’t have to fight the crowds, or even leave home.” See, nice ‘n safe!
At least these emails aren’t even bothering to ask anyone to hand over their last few dollars as contributions in support of “hope” or “change” anymore. It’s just “buy our stuff, to give as gifts, so we can keep our jobs.” What a great gift for your fellow Americans!
Back in reality, the latest updates report that protesters at Zuccotti Park were barricaded in by police (after being evicted two days ago), and the scene is getting rough. Groups of folks are gathering in Union Square and on subways, as per the livestream that you can watch here:
One protester was photographed with blood all over his face after clashes in Zuccotti, and over a hundred have been arrested. [Obama For America email list/ Guardian]
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How much is Biden's Trans Am?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eG4OQnFySc4
Probably made in China.
Smells like swag!
Actually, the best koozies I've ever bought were made in the (sort of) USA, to wit, Texas. They hold up really well, fit my cans and bottles really well, especially Coors-a-Cola, and insulate really well. And they haven't even once seceded from my cooler. They are Kolder Holders, and if you want custom koozies, check 'em out. Even if they are from Texas and probably employ illegals from Vera Cruz, and execute anyone who doesn't meet quota.
Photo of Biden topless washing his bitchin' Camaro or GTFO.
Bitchin' Camaro Bitchin' Camaro Bitchin' Camaro
I ran over my neighbors.
Point of Order: It's a Trans-Am, which is an order of magnitude tackier than a Camaro of the same vintage.
Something to like about ol' Joe–he loves that Onion story. (Though in reality, he owns a '67 Corvette).
'round the trailer park, they're collectively known as Trans-Camaros.
Jeez, especially with the Screamin' Eagle on the hood. "Hey asshole! Gimme a can o' Skoal and a coupla 40's o' Old English!"
I have long wanted to put one of those Screaming Eagle decals on the hood of, let's say, an AMC Pacer….
Nah. Put his face on the side of a bong, and THEN maybe I'll bite…
Slogan underneath his face:
Kush We Can Believe In
Yes we Cannabis!
Matt Bertram, president of Fields Manufacturing, said in a statement. “This is again another example of our administration making quick decisions that will help small business.”
I thought Barry just illegalized all swag.
IOKIYA(S)R
(S) — the mind just reels:
Secretly?
Sucking off?
Stupider than?
Seeking … their love?
oh fuck it, I'd rather watch Barney Frank talk smack about Newt.
And…you have a better idea for getting rid of it all?
Oh sure, the president doesn't want to pay for cheap crap any more, but we're supposed to.
Do they have the Ballistic Storm Windows on the site yet? I wanted a set of those.
Biden Ballistic Storm Windows(tm) – they're a big fucking deal!
You get those only after a $500 donation and you wash Biden's car.
I haz teh confuzed. Am Iz supposta buyz teh swagz or not?
YES!!
If the swagz iz for Obamer… as long as there ain't them cheap ass frizbeez… 147 grams or better or GTFO!
Biden alt clickie fail
/edit: note
kickingclicking Biden's koozie can still getz the dreaded PAGE NOT FOUND/edit²: clickie now chasing its own tail, but that works if it can give 'Murica jerbs by providing a self-activated endless do-loop. Pay from Wonette billionaire Ken Layne likely to be modest, but on to the click, click, click. Is this like day trading?
Joe Biden is my God. History will prove his divinity, you will all see. You should invest heavily in Biden-themed coozies and other memorobilia now, while you can, get in on the ground floor of this new religion.
I'm a bit worried what "Flying Biden Monster" might equate to.
Verily, I am not worthy to eat off his commemorative plate, but only say the word, and my beer shall be chilled.
Getting in on the ground floor of a religion? Sounds like Amway to me. Then again, most organized religions, and a few disorganized ones sound like Amway to me. Lotsa crazy closeted types selling a product that would punish their own conduct.
I'm hoarding all my misprinted Biden/Obama '08 bumper stickers; I'ma be rich some day.
Bidenizm?? Sound far more preferable than… Boner… well… Boner anything.
And, lo, did Joe the Biden De La Warr loveth the world so much that he stepeth off the Amtrack in Union Station to save the world….
Snark off. I want to see Joseph Biden run for President, and I want him unleashed in his campaign. Sure he's kinda funny-looking, sure he kinda lets slip his "inside voice", sure he seem to be toadying a bit to Obamer, but I can't remember even once that he let slip his apparently real opinion that he didn't prove to be 100% correct in his predictions, and unfailingly on the moral side. I'm positive he was selected to be VP for the same reason most are: life insurance for the main candidate. I don't think Joe Biden would keep political prisoners, execute Americans without trial (or anyone else), not investigate, let alone prosecute, the real criminals in this country, raid marijuana dispensaries that provide life-preserving medicine for our nation's ill, and on, and on. I could be and probably am, way off base, but I think that Joseph Biden is one of, if not the only, ethical Democrat left.
Snark on. Damn! that's a cheap-ass koozie!
I find Joe's candidness endearing as anyone, but he would not make a good president, and he's legendary for being very wrong when he's wrong about something, particularly on Iraq, as a kind of recent example.
He is The Chosen One. For it has been foretold, there shall come a man with his foot in his mouth, yet from the foot-filled mouth shall come wisdom.
Or alternatively, profanity.
no, joe biden is MY god and you r doing it wrong.
it is trains and funky 70s attire that ensure his godhead. you will see.
(snark off) Feeling better tonight, fuf?
yes thank you. my brother is doing quite well and we are all feeling more optimistic.
Truly, he shall come in the form and appearance of Disco Stu, riding on rails as would a Hobo, from the land of DuPont.
So Prommie, you think you could give Mrs. Owls a call and tell her all this stuff? Cuz I'm just sure she'd let me take up drinking again if she understood what was going on here.
You need to take up some far far worse habit, like crack or crank, and then she will be releived when you go back to just drinking. That ploy ALWAYS works.
I think drinking beer out of that would both literally and figuratively kill my buzz
I'd like to think that's Alvin Greene in the Commemorative Apron pic. But nah, the Tao Master of SC doesn't strike me as a Pit Master©
TEAR GAS CANISTER KOOZIES FOR EVERYONE!
Dorli Rainey 24 oz high-flow pepper spay koozies or GTFO.
Scott Olsen is no doubt already working on it, dude.
#AhKooziefyOakland
J'aKooz!
Jakoozie! Time to jump in the tub and sweat!
Well duh if the occupados would just get a bunch of these, some natty and some tailgates to sit on, they would be virtually indistinguishable from Sandusky supporters and therefore perfectly awesome Americans. You have to know the rules of the game you're playing, pinkos.
Thank God I got one of these Koozies when they were still $5.
I'm waiting until January 21, 2013, when they're 50 for $5.
Planning ahead to insulate your refrigerator box? Good thinking.
Good on you. The rest of us have to live through the Biden Bubble.
FOR SALE.
One Joe Biden "CHEERS CHAMP" koozie. Purports to be union made (but I would guess only the printing was done by a union shop and the koozie was hand-stitched by the children of Chinese political prisoners). Only minor use because current owner has been forced to resort to hard liquor almost exclusively.
$9 (note that this is a discount from the "Biden Bubble" price of $10).
Biden is the Cheers champ? But I thought he was from Delaware, not Boston; and while Senators John Kerry and Gary Hart both had cameos I don't remember Joe every appearing.
He was passed-out under the pool table.
Didn't Rick Perry play the assistant bartender?
Woody Harrelson libel!
Don't worry — he's too stoned to notice, or care.
And then there was the ill-fated Cheers cameo in St Elsewhere, which ranks among the worst crossovers in network TV history….but by extension also suggests that Kerry and Hart are nothing but daydreams in the mind of an autistic child
The rulers are amusing themselves, selling swag while the people rise up. Happened before, with dire consequences, usually.
Still, you've got to admit that the Ancien Régime's "The Louvre is for Lovers" and "The Seine is for Sinners" baseball caps with beer cans fastened to both sides were pretty cool.
The most recent police raid highlighted on the evening news was targeted at miniature Eiffel Towers, made in China, shipped through Belgium and sold under the actual tower by African street vendors. They seized like hundreds of thousands of them. It got treated by the media as almost as meaningful as a major drug bust.
Not surprised. I was working in Paris last year for a stretch. My kids came to see me, and they wanted to go to the Eiffel Tower. (Not as much of a disappointment as I feared it might be – my son liked it more than the Louvre, but not as much as the Sexion d'assaut CDs he's been hooked on ever since.) But it was simply astonishing how many rough looking vendors were around, hawking enormous rings of miniature Eiffel towers of different sizes. It was evident from the prices they were offering, the unbelievably low "fallback" prices they would offer if you started walking away, and just the sheer number of vendors everywhere and the way they were interacting that what was going on wasn't completely above-board.
Did that cute Gypsy girl pick your pocket too?
That was something that struck me about Paris. The peddlers are aggressive as hell. I had one almost get in a physical confrontation with me without even provocking it. I had a one near the Sacre Coeur that was really pleasant, and even shocked me with his knowledge of my homestate, but overall, they seemed really desperate and it sometimes came off as threatening. I was also really kind of shocked by the housing conditions where these immigrants are forced to live. Paris ain't all rainbows and sunshine, let me tell you.
Throw in a Joe Bidden bottle opener with genuine belching sounds and you got deal.
I can't wait to put this on my election collectibles with my G.W. Bush "Major League Asshole" foam finger.
Cool concept! Is the Cheney version stained to comemorate his hand being up Bonny Prince Dubya's ass for 8 long years or is it rendered in "flesh" like the Bush one. Of course it could be in corpse white considering Heartless Dick isn't alive by some standards.
Sorry but my wife after reviewing our household budget has unilaterally zeroed the family swag line item. More alarmingly I just received a text from her saying she wants to review the number of electronic devices issued to family members at dinner tonight.
I hope she isn't forcing you to purchase health insurance.
Does that mean you'll be selling some of your remote-control predator drone dildoes on Ebay?
The NYPD is beating everyone. Even the people who deserve it.
http://thinkprogress.org/special/2011/11/17/37134…
Ustream is awsome, especially now that this Tim guy is talking a little less. "Fifty unmarked police vehicles passing by right now." Obviously not very successfully unmarked
Were they ever… you always knew, "Hey, there's a cop behind us." At night… in the rain… and I'm blind… drunk… oh and 16…
The freedomz are sad in the Fifedom of Bloomberg.
I would expect the Daily Caller to report that the liberal, union thugs of the NYPD were just trying to suppress their attempts to accurately report on the Occupy terrorist organization.
Mrs. Fields: Shitty Cookies, Shittier Reporting
Five bucks says Fields continues to bash #owc.
Cheers, Chump.
Just in time for winter
This swag thinks ahead: All Americans will be drinking during that election.
Most of us toilet wine, 'cause we'll all probably be in prisons, by then.
Or hemlock.
Yeah, a bad toilet wine might as well be.
Barry, Barry, Barry. How many times do we have to tell you? Less swag, more porn!
Day of action, indeed!
The Biden beer can Koozie will go good with my old Ford WIN buttons.
I'm gonna get one to display my commemorative can of Billy Beer®.
I'll "just say no" to Obama swag.
I want my WTF (Win the Future) button. I heard that shipment of them was put on hold after the Republicans cancelled the future during the debt ceiling debacle.
Beverages that come in cans universally can eat my asshole alive. With or without a "koozie". Sorry, sports fans.
Wait a second… until they finally made the draught bottle, I think an exception needs to be made for Guinness.
Mmmmm, they still have it in draft and bottles though, I find the cans generally are stale (despite the plastic floaty thing) so I won't buy cans anymore. Haven't tried Boddingtons yet and I've heard good things, so maybe all is not lost for cans!
Sharkey, you're missing out on a sea-change in craft beers. There is an increasing number of high-quality beer coming in cans. The plus side? Lighter containers, not light-struck, easier to open. The minus side? Same goddam high price.
But get some anyway. For example, Ranger IPA is my latest favorite.
I thought it was a 'Cozie' not a 'Koozie'.. Koozie sounds, uh, vaginal.
Maybe we've misinterpreted the purpose of this and what we have here is some sort of Uncle Joe fleshlight product.
Silkwood shower for mental imagery, please..
The word "cozy" is simply not sufficient to describe the superior product on offer here.
That was my first thought, as well.
Just wait till you find out how it feels!
And I thought I was the only one whose family referred to a girl's parts as a "koozie." The word still gives me the skeeves.
I've got a can holder — it's at the end of my arm. Can we instead purchase a GOP candidate advent calendar, with maybe little surveyor's marks that we can close over each one as he/she disappears into obscurity?
Not surveyor's marks. A blue circle with 99% in the middle. I'm with you on the advent calendar otherwise.
How insular can the white House get?
mmmm … beer … ooohhhhhh… Is it 5 o'clock somewhere yet?
MzNicky… it is always 5 o'clock where I am… it may even be a.m…. bottoms up.
Would you like to sell it or pawn it?
I'm holding out for a Herman Cain bobblehead with an erection.
Is it fully erect?
Which head bobbles?
all of them, Rotundo_
So is Marcus.
Didn't Dan Quayle bring one of those back from Central America when he was VP?
Wait a minute… which has the erection… you or the bobblehead?
Beer Koozie: A PBR induced pussy fart.
I'd pay Joe 10 bucks to hold my cans.
I would hold them for free !
They're also great for picking up tear gas canisters and tossing them aside!
Swag LIBEL!!!11!!
Sorry, but if you want me to pay hold someone's cans, you need Michelle up there, not Joe.
And a big thank you to NYPD for providing me with a good fucking reason to stay the hell away from NY this year. I'm spending the family vacation dollars somewhere else this year (assuming I don't have to spend it all on a proper Mad Max car).
So much for our 9/11 "heroes."
We still have our firefighters and librarians. Librarians are my post-9/11 heroes.
Come to the Nor Cal coast… Beautiful coastline… windy roads to get here (plenty of puke stops along the way for the kiddies)… but please PLEASE… use the turnouts to let locals by… they know the road.
Any further north on the Nor Cal coast and I'm in Oregon. Unless you count Orick, Trees of Mystery and Crescent City. And I'm never counting Orick or the Trees of Mystery, and Crescent City is suspect unless there's a surf competition going on.
I stole a stop sign in Orick in 83… great weekend… I think.
(Don't tell anyone)
In other words, you stole 112% of Orick's stop signs . . .
Inb4 "big fucking deal."
I thought we were supposed to butt-hurt the Junk Plastic Shit lobby… unless it's convenient for the campaign? I call foul.
Srsly ppl, if you have to pay for it, it isn't "swag".
I actually would throw in some money for a trinket with Biden that said "Big Fucking Deal" on it. Though that is about the only way their campaign would get money from me at this point.
Hear that Pat Buchanan has had enough of the Repug false pretenders and is going to start his own campaign. Just to show how tech savy ol' Pat is, he'll be offering personalized 5 meg hard drives as swag for the fist thousand six-figure contributors.
Ah, ye take me back, sonny, to the days when I had to get the company president's approval to buy a 1-gigabyte hard drive so we could load all of the topographic data for Fort Benning on one disk. It cost $6,000 and was the size of a toaster. Computer worshippers in MacWorld said you should probably put it on a marble slab so it wouldn't be juddered by earthquakes or whatever, and maybe put some crystals around it to deflect the negative energy. These were the dark days of 1990 or so, when engineering companies which had never bought anything more expensive than an IBM Selectric III for their employees to use were being asked to shell out thousands here and there to assholes like me who threatened to quit if we couldn't have the latest toys.
There is a certain meg that I wouldn't mind inserting my hard drive into , say 5 times.
Well prairie dogs do plow the prairie.
Some of you Family Guy fans really need to dial it down a notch.
Donate today and I'll send you an autographed Musket Ball…
I'm holding out for an official Herman Cain "I got all this stuff twirling around in my head" mood ring.
Do all the colors work?
How about a "Oops" wash cloth imprinted with Ricky P's face? A special Mojito glass that reads, "I speak Cuban." Or a foreclosure sign with Mittens face saying, "Corporations are people, too."
I really, really, really, like that third one. I think the campaign could make some serious money is they'd roll with my ideas.
OT–anyone see Princess Nancy's response to Perry's debate challenge?
I've been busy then ill and haven't been around much. When did the ass-licking (phrase from the title song of "Marat/Sade" which isn't on DVD, or so says Netflix) trolls show up?
"More diodes, Princess?"
"No thanks, Daddy, but can I have some more integrated circuits?"
Breaking News: Cain to get Secret Service Protection.
Does he realize that the secret service won't protect him from questions from the media or allegations from groped women?
Does he realize that some of those Secret Service might be women? And, more importantly, that'd it be pretty stupid to try to sexually assault them?
Instead of the spanking he'd be wanting, Hermie may get tazed and confused.
So my tax dollars are going to protect that un-electable molester ? yay!
Shouldn't the SS only be working for REAL presidential candidates? Not just an ego with shoes?
Yes, also as a Republican candidate he should have a concealed weapons licence so be able to defend himself.
ECONOMY SAVED, YOU ARE WELCOME!
When my whiny little 5-year old niece asks why she got a White House koozie for Christmas I'm gonna tell her, "Hey, I didn't have to fight the crowds, or even leave home. Quit your bitchin' already."
Then, if my cheapo brother gives me another lousy present, I'm gonna call Child Protective Services and ask if forcing your kid to look at Joe Biden's death grin every day constitutes psychological abuse.
She'll quit bitchin' after she realizes just how cold it keeps her beerz… course, you gotta twist the cap for her as 5 year olds are weak.
Not ours. The annual Thanksgiving Shiv-Your-Cousin Contest (10 and under division) thins out the weaklings very effectively.
How about "IM A BIG FUCKIN DEAL"
"Beer koozies are for sissies."
Herman Cain
His pizza tasted like a koozie with menstrual sauce. Just sayin'.
I'll take a 100 cartons of Beer Koozies in the rose Garden ! We have an administration that likes BEER! And a President that can pronounce the word Nuclear ! After 8 years of W cool !
I like Rachel Meadows, he is man pretty. Check out the size of his hands !
Perfect for the Stag beer of which I just learned in Drew Magary's JAMBAROO.
Collectively, the congress of the United States has less backbone than a JELLYFISH !
This will be valuable when Biden is elected President in 2016 and 2020.
I hear he's going to implement the New Fucking Deal.
But "Page Not Found" would have been cool alt-text for a page about Mark Foley.
like lawyers, this country has enough marketing people now.
I'm sure that the 1% of the Democratic primary voters who voted for Biden in the 2008 primaries will appreciate this koozie.
Am I supposed to understand what CHKKERS CHAMP means?
Fox commentators' observations that the NYC police are displaying "remarkable restraint" really miss the mark in my opinion. I mean the Full Nelson is a decent enough restraint, but I'd hardly call it 'remarkable.'
Wait, wait. This means that Obama's morally weak, right? I always get this mixed up.
BTW, you don't have to spend $10 for a can holder, you can get one from Herman Cain for free if you're a lady of conventionally passable attractiveness, apparently.
I couldn't be the only one that thought this as soon as they decided to put the fence around. This was kind of a given. Zuccotti Park is not a protest site, anymore; it's a pen, and if I have any advice for those down there, it's that it's time to find another spot because you're being tracked and photographed even more than you were before they penned you in. Soylent Zuccotti is…people! GTF outta there.
http://www.tumblr.com/tagged/crab+bucket
Let them eat beer koozies!
"CHEERS CHAMP"?! Sounds like Biden came up with this after a case of Yuengling and they let him run with it.
Cut her some slack. She's funny and smart. Your screen name is stupid.
Well, I see the altext has been fixed now so I won't complain further. Also, the name doesn't make sense. I just wanted something that rolled off the tongue and into your heart. If it doesn't already do that for you, I'm not going to keep trying. Good day, kind sir and/or madam.
It isn't all bad news. I found my recipe for Ken's cranberry relish. Wisely, I saved it on the computer. Has he posted it yet? If not, why not? It's as great as he says.
"Wonkette's Actual Awesome Real Cranberry Business" — I'm still laughing about that from last Thxgiving.
I'm still digesting that from last Thxgiving.
I'm still hungover from last Thxgiving.
Wait, there was a Thxgiving last year??
Saw Biden's kid on C-Span the other day. He is Delaware AG, former Marine JAG Officer. He made more sense in 30 minutes than Joe has made in as many years. Nothing better than having a son grow up to be better than the old man in every way; at least that's how I feel.
Yes we canned.
Even that Michelle Obama sent me a fb note today to donate. So I sent a thank you note:
Its always all about you, Michelle, and the Obama family.
But not today.
Let's get something straight, Michelle didn't send that to you. Her office didn't even send it to you. Let's stop the personal pettiness.
Stag beer was made for years solely in my home town. Around here we call it Gag beer.
Hey, you're right. That's probably where my signature Joe Biden wallet with "I'll buy this round guys" on it went! And Jofranka seemed like such a sweet, honest street urchin.
Good thing I only kept receipts there. I knew Paris could be unsafe, so I took a cue from the Louis Dega/Dustin Hoffman character in Papillon and kept all my valuables ….um … never mind.
Sounds like a plan…
(From the book, don't know if it made it into the movie.)
It's the Jakooza! Run!
Sorry you had a bad experience. They can seem a little uppity at times, especially if you are an American tourist.
The way undocumented immigrants are treated here is an embarrassment, mitigated somewhat by the fact they they get free medical care and education for their children.
Uppity is not at all the word I'd use for them — again, I'd describe them as aggressive –, and I didn't have a bad experience in Paris. My overall experience was absolutely wonderful. That said, I've never encountered more aggressive pandhandlers and hawkers; the only city that even comes close in my experience was San Francisco. I swear, we'd get off the buses at the tourist sites and we'd literally be more than halfway surrounded by two dozen trinket sellers. My only point was that every city has their problems, and that a lot of Americans don't know about Paris' problems because the city is incredibly romanticized, over here.
It was hung on a nail… I guess they hadn't figured out how to work a screwdriver…
I managed to stay sober long enough to get the food INTO the oven. I don't remember what happened after that.
That's "Ken Layne's Cranberry Business," which I find more satisfying to say. If I recall correctly, he dusts it off and posts it every other Tky-Day or so. I know it's older than 2010 because I remember where I was reading it some jobs ago, trying not to hiccough/ crack-up w/ laughter too obviously under my very watchful boss-lady at the time he 1st put it up here.
I disagree. The issue of how drunk Dewey was is actually none of Ken Layne's Damn Cranberry Business!
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