TIME TO KILL THE INTERNET  8:27 pm November 16, 2011

Congressional Support Grows For Bill To Shut Down Any Website

by Ken Layne

There’s suddenly a whole lot of “bipartisan support” for a supposed anti-piracy law that will actually let the U.S. Government force American Internet providers to shut down all access to any website immediately. Why might that be a popular idea, in Congress, right about now? And why are these anti-government Republicans like Congressman Lamar Smith of Texas behind such a heavy handed Big Brother off-switch on the entire Internet? And why is Joe Biden apparently strongly against such legislation, even though the Obama Administration supports it fully? Oh, right, because Biden is talking about how other countries shouldn’t do what the United States is about to do.

The conveniently rare bipartisan supporters of the SOPA/Protect IP censorship bills claim it’s to protect Republican interests such as “Hollywood movie studios” and “Hollywood media companies,” but in fact the “Protect IP” and “SOPA” bills actually let the government order any website accused of illegal distribution of intellectual property to be shut down by all American Internet service providers. Hey, is there a Kuwaiti guy putting a spam link to his Russian movie download site in the comments of, say, OccupyWallSt.org? Well just shut down OccupyWallSt.org, it’s that easy.

We’ve written about this before, and it just keeps getting worse. The interesting thing is that Google and Facebook and other such Internet giants are against the law, they say because there’s so much insane potential for abuse that a big Internet company would suddenly be forced to have a whole division to shut down sites as fast as whatever government agency demands it.

Bloomberg reports tonight:

[Lamar] Smith’s Stop Online Piracy Act is aimed at foreign sites dedicated to pirated material, but Web giants such as Google and Facebook and telecommunications firms say his proposal goes too far, making them responsible for shutting down bad actors.

And how, exactly, does it go “too far,” you might be wondering? By creating a government “Internet blacklist” no different than China’s infamous “Great Firewall” that blocks anything critical of the Chinese government, along with whatever else the censors don’t want you looking at. This is how, for example, the #OWS protests are all but invisible on the Chinese Internet. But in China, it’s top down — the government does the actual administering of the Internet blacklist and the nation’s domain name servers. The typically American twist is that the government will demand that “free enterprise” do the dirty work, just as it did during the Bush Jr. wiretapping scandals we’ve all apparently completely forgotten.

Here’s a calm assessment from yesterday’s New York Times op-ed page:

The solutions offered by the legislation, however, threaten to inflict collateral damage on democratic discourse and dissent both at home and around the world.

The bills would empower the attorney general to create a blacklist of sites to be blocked by Internet service providers, search engines, payment providers and advertising networks, all without a court hearing or a trial. The House version goes further, allowing private companies to sue service providers for even briefly and unknowingly hosting content that infringes on copyright — a sharp change from current law, which protects the service providers from civil liability if they remove the problematic content immediately upon notification. The intention is not the same as China’s Great Firewall, a nationwide system of Web censorship, but the practical effect could be similar.

When the NYT is suggesting a bipartisan law being rushed through Congress to an eager president for signing is actually a Chinese-style “Great Firewall” to suppress people, well …. we guess you should “write your representative and senator” on the way to the pitchfork and gasoline store.

 
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{ 167 comments }

noodlesalad November 16, 2011 at 8:36 pm

First they came for my pron, and I didn't say anything, because my wife would be pissed. Then they came for my huffington post, and I didn't say anything because I didn't really miss it. Then they came for my Wonkette, and I couldn't say anything, because the comments section wasn't working anyway. Then they came for me, and there was no one left to post a hilariously relevant LongCat pic to my facebook wall.

Crowe2011 November 17, 2011 at 5:16 am

Bye-bye America. The rest of us will keep the internet warm until you remember that whole 'land of the free thing' or figure out how to use proxy servers.

Biel_ze_Bubba November 17, 2011 at 7:35 am

They won't come for you … but they might knock down your house if someone pastes an infringing poster on your door.

user-of-owls November 16, 2011 at 8:37 pm

Well thank god I don't visit Any Website. I only visit Wonkette.

RadiosTyrone November 16, 2011 at 9:40 pm

Owls, it sure was nice knowing you. Take care.

ChernobylSoup November 16, 2011 at 8:38 pm

Good thing all the justices at SCOTUS are on top of how the googlies and bookspaces and webbingsnets really work. They'll see right through this blantantly unconstitutional law and strike it down as soon as those fuckwits in Congr

RadiosTyrone November 16, 2011 at 9:43 pm

Yeah, when they are not busy going to "Hollywood" sponsored dinners.

johnnyzhivago November 16, 2011 at 8:39 pm

I'm all for shutting down any site that uses the Trebuchet Font!

chascates November 16, 2011 at 8:46 pm

Or Korinna!

weejee November 16, 2011 at 9:11 pm

♪♫ Korinna, Korina, ya been here too damn long ♫♪

Negropolis November 16, 2011 at 10:46 pm

Or Comic Sans. So help me if I see another site in Comic Sans…

user-of-owls November 16, 2011 at 8:41 pm

Always with the glass half empty, Ken. Didn't it occur to you that we…I mean, someone…could start mass-posting spam links to Russian movie download sites on FoxNews.com and Redstate?

Ken Layne November 16, 2011 at 8:45 pm

I thought we were going to keep that plan to our private sex-twitter feed.

user-of-owls November 16, 2011 at 8:52 pm

Oops! I stepped in it, that's for sure.

Herring_Burnit November 17, 2011 at 1:45 am

Saaaay … you're not from Texas, are ya, Owls?

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 16, 2011 at 8:54 pm

You guys have a private sex-twitter feed and I wasn't invited?

I guess even at Wonkette, I'm not cool.

user-of-owls November 16, 2011 at 9:03 pm

Why else did you think I could get away with saying "That Word"?

weejee November 16, 2011 at 9:15 pm

That's retarԁeԁ.

Guppy November 16, 2011 at 9:14 pm

I thought that described most of the banner ads over there already.

Callyson November 16, 2011 at 8:42 pm

Several lawmakers expressed concern that the illegal exchange of copyrighted movies, software and music is draining U.S. media companies and that current laws don’t give law enforcement agencies enough power to stop bad actors.
1. Actually, what is draining U.S. media companies is the endless supply of crappy movies, software and music. Current powers that be in Hollywood give power to bad actors, bad writers, bad producers, and bad plot lines.
2. Also–the following is not just for black people anymore:
Public Enemy – Burn Hollywood Burn http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=71un0nkjKB8

OneDollarJuana November 16, 2011 at 8:49 pm

What they're afraid of is uncopyrighted videos of police brutality, and websites that expose corporate and bankster greed. And congressmen enabling all of it.

horsedreamer_1 November 17, 2011 at 8:30 pm

Thankfully, it will be easy for the Buffalo Beast to repatriate to Canada: he can sneak board the Bills's caravan to Toronto.

LibrulEleet November 16, 2011 at 9:32 pm

"Current laws don’t give law enforcement agencies enough power to stop bad actors."

One of them even got elected president a few decades ago.

RadiosTyrone November 16, 2011 at 9:53 pm

Or if that motherfucker signs such a bill, I would say a president who got elected a few years ago.

Biel_ze_Bubba November 17, 2011 at 12:20 am

Won't they be surprised when they discover that the people downloading free stuff are downloading free stuff because they don't want to pay for it (who'd ever have imagined that?), and that their shitty content continues to generate shitty revenue?

Hahaha. We will laugh — until we get another GOP adminstration with another asshole attorney general, who start shutting down all the other stuff they don't like, just because they can.

Beetagger November 16, 2011 at 8:43 pm

If we keep this up, pretty soon all the Chinese will be speaking American.

Negropolis November 16, 2011 at 10:47 pm

In what respect, Charlie?

johnnyzhivago November 16, 2011 at 8:43 pm

Already wrote my congressjoker and posted this to Facebook. Got less attention than my post about my Koi dying from pond inversion oxygen starvation. Too bad that when people wake up and see the trashheap this country is turning into it will be too late.

Don't forget, only 45 days to Christmas!!!

user-of-owls November 16, 2011 at 8:53 pm

So I guess you're trying to say that the Koi got off easy?

OneDollarJuana November 16, 2011 at 9:17 pm

Actually, I understand that oxygen-deprivation is kind of euphoric. Just ask Herman.

RadiosTyrone November 16, 2011 at 9:54 pm

It's black Friday for them Koi.

Negropolis November 16, 2011 at 10:50 pm

David Carradine libel!

Oblios_Cap November 17, 2011 at 10:07 am

All we need to do is shop and everything will be dandy again.

ProgressiveInga November 16, 2011 at 8:45 pm

I just want to shut down the sites that have The Hermanator saying something stupid. Oh, that's all of 'em. Nevermind.

fuflans November 16, 2011 at 8:46 pm

well then it's a damned good thing the internet is a series of tubes.

and not a big truck.

OneDollarJuana November 16, 2011 at 8:47 pm

What they're really getting at is the Occupy movement. Just you wait. Websites, IM's, Twitter, all will be the subject of "brownouts" at first, then outright cutoffs. Even Facebook, although it's run by a corporate fascist who would never steal your privacy (oops! did it again. sorry). What's going to save the movement is good old word-of-mouth and paper, I'm guessing.

Neoyorquino November 17, 2011 at 12:18 am

Return of the 'zine?

WootInTarnation November 17, 2011 at 12:39 am

Homing pigeons.

Herring_Burnit November 17, 2011 at 2:19 am

Fax

GunToting[Redacted] November 17, 2011 at 9:26 am

How do you fax a pigeon?

not that Dewey November 17, 2011 at 9:40 am

Very carefully.

schvitzatura November 17, 2011 at 4:58 am

The smell of fresh mimeographs in the morning, smells like…mmmm.

freddymcmurray November 17, 2011 at 7:34 am

nope, because they're about to shut down the post office too.

MrFizzy November 16, 2011 at 8:50 pm

Yet another reason to go live on Mars.

slowhansolo November 16, 2011 at 8:51 pm

Free expression is a threat to tyrants? OK, but if that's the case why do we need it here?

Oh, right.

Pres.Libunatic November 16, 2011 at 8:52 pm

Sure, because everyone is dying to pirate the second reboot of Superman and Spider-Man, and the third reboot of Hulk and we ought to shut down the whole fucking Internet to protect those valuable franchises.

SHUT DOWN EVERYTHING!

chascates November 16, 2011 at 8:53 pm

The Patriot Act gone berserk? Millions believed Obama would use this past national warning test to seize control of the media but online fascism has come sneaking in, on 'little cat feet' so that the perpetrators can claim it was done to protect those it will victimize.

ifthethunderdontgetya November 16, 2011 at 8:54 pm

Not to worry, Ken.

Barack Obama is a Harvard-educated lawyer.

He and his capable Attorney General, Eric Holder, will no doubt dispatch any threat to our First Amendment rights.
~

OneDollarJuana November 16, 2011 at 9:38 pm

Has Holder dispatched any threats?

Negropolis November 16, 2011 at 10:51 pm

Yes, those dangerous pot-smoking, terminally-ill grandmothers' dispensary stashes. Surely, they are history's greatest monsters.

Papa_Uniform November 16, 2011 at 11:14 pm

He dispatched 450K of them Messicans back home last year. Freedoms!!

rocktonsam November 16, 2011 at 8:55 pm

any website?

will I get better broad band?

CommieLibunatic November 16, 2011 at 8:56 pm

Oh look, we're playing THIS game again.

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 16, 2011 at 8:57 pm

Thank the gods that sucking mass media's cock takes precedent to helping Americans get jobs or pay for their homes. No wonder Congress' ratings are so high.

spends2much November 17, 2011 at 12:53 pm

Hey, they're working hard kissing God's ass. Now that was vital, job-creating legislation.

donner_froh November 16, 2011 at 9:09 pm

When THEY do it they are crushing the tender shoots of freedom and democracy before they have a chance to blossom. When WE do it we are protecting the valuable intellectual property rights of our citizens.

Works for me.

emmelemm November 16, 2011 at 9:31 pm

And by citizens you mean corporations.

weejee November 16, 2011 at 9:34 pm

Are there any other kinds?

donner_froh November 16, 2011 at 9:41 pm

Citizen The Walt Disney Company; Citizen News Corporation; Citizen Time Warner; Citizen Viacom.

Herring_Burnit November 17, 2011 at 2:21 am

I'm always amazed that we have the gall to lecture the Chinese on human rights, given this country's record. And also very amused when the Chinese get a dig in, although I will confess that I would not want to live in China, or under such rampant capitalism disguised as Communism.

Antispandex November 16, 2011 at 9:10 pm

First there was that story about them using the Patriot Act to shut down protests, and now this? What a bunch of Negative Nellies. I mean, what could go wrong?

Guppy November 16, 2011 at 9:17 pm

"just as it did during the Bush Jr. wiretapping scandals we’ve all apparently completely forgotten"

Oh no, I still clearly remember the junior senator from Illinois voting to give everyone a pass on that stunt.

Buzz Feedback November 16, 2011 at 9:17 pm

This is going to put a kink in COCKTober.

freddymcmurray November 17, 2011 at 7:37 am

Your kink is ambiguous.

AnAmericanInTO November 16, 2011 at 9:20 pm

Man, every single day something reminds me why moving to Canada was a good idea.

dizzeeboy November 16, 2011 at 9:32 pm

Shout-out from MTL!! Do we laugh or cry?

RadiosTyrone November 16, 2011 at 9:58 pm

Wait, didn't Canada have an internet controversy about having to pay by the minute last year? What became of that? *dusting off passport*

JustPixelz November 17, 2011 at 7:32 am

You eat boiled fiddleheads every day?

Nothingisamiss November 17, 2011 at 7:37 am

Again and again I'm forced to find warmer countries that seem like Canada, but allow me he pleasure of not driving through snow. Still…..eh? I've friends in B.C.

spends2much November 17, 2011 at 12:56 pm

It's mid-November ,and here in Toronto, I know people who have just put away their shorts for the season. Thank you, climate change!

weejee November 16, 2011 at 9:21 pm

That frantic collection of Kochsuckers in Congress are such wussies. Let them know Founder (not fondler, like our current footzbawl icons) Ben Franklin thinks that "those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety."

Asswipes one and all !!!!

AlterNewt November 16, 2011 at 9:21 pm

Thank god. I was starting to feel way too free.

Antispandex November 16, 2011 at 9:32 pm

You know, I don't mind being free, or maybe even you being free, but those other people? Geeze, I just don't know.

AlterNewt November 16, 2011 at 9:51 pm

It's a conundrum, isn't it?

Herring_Burnit November 17, 2011 at 2:22 am

I hear those can protect you against STIs.

JustPixelz November 17, 2011 at 7:34 am

The Tree of Liberty must be nourished from time to time with web shutdowns. Also blood of tyrants, brains(?) of tea partiers, etc, etc.

Extemporanus November 16, 2011 at 9:26 pm

This comment has been blacklisted by the government.

weejee November 16, 2011 at 9:36 pm

And the men in black are at this moment running the IPs of all the Wonk….

404 ERROR

Extemporanus November 16, 2011 at 9:43 pm

This comment has been blacklisted by the government.

RadiosTyrone November 16, 2011 at 10:05 pm

That's This comment has been deleted by the administrator.

Chichikovovich November 16, 2011 at 11:48 pm

Oh my God! That means I will now tell you a happy story about a cute puppy I saw last week. What a little rascal he was!!! And maudit 'ostie tabernak, you won't believe how he jumped up and licked my face. And then, even worse was how he even piddled on the newspaper I laid out for him. What a scamp! I think I have no choice but to end this delightful tail tale (get it) now. There will be no more banter tonight. I am now going to bed of my own free will. Goodbye.

Blueb4sunrise November 16, 2011 at 9:30 pm

Can we copyright the phrase 'Intellectual Property'?

ttommyunger November 16, 2011 at 9:45 pm

Ah fuckit! I spend too much time online anyway.

rocktonsam November 16, 2011 at 10:04 pm

which government?

tcaalaw November 16, 2011 at 10:08 pm

As the Americans learned so painfully in Earth's final century, free flow of information is the only safeguard against tyranny. The once-chained people whose leaders at last lose their grip on information flow will soon burst with freedom and vitality, but the free nation gradually constricting its grip on public discourse has begun its rapid slide into despotism. Beware of he who would deny you access to information, for in his heart he dreams himself your master.

Commissioner Pravin Lal, "U.N. Declaration of Rights"

RadiosTyrone November 16, 2011 at 10:10 pm

Good to see this is a "job creation," "pro-growth" bill that garners vigorous bi-partisan support.

johnnyzhivago November 16, 2011 at 10:21 pm

Lots of lawyer jobs created, lots of ISP/Web jobs off to China/India/Nigeria

MOG2410 November 17, 2011 at 2:34 pm

lawyers – the only job in Washington

Nothingisamiss November 17, 2011 at 7:39 am

For a minute there I thought absolutely nothing was going to get done this term of congress.

johnnyzhivago November 16, 2011 at 10:23 pm

Between this and the apparent desire to force web sellers to collect state sales tax, I might as well just move to Finland or Nigeria at this point.

Negropolis November 16, 2011 at 10:55 pm

You know, Nigeria doesn't sound so bad. There, any man or woman can be an online Nigerian prince or princess. Remember, you are just royalty waiting to happen.

Chichikovovich November 16, 2011 at 11:52 pm

And you can't turn around without someone handing you hundreds of millions of dollars. What a country!

iburl November 16, 2011 at 10:24 pm

I'd say this is by far the most important post this year on the Wonkettes.

Here's one of those web 2.0 things about this issue if you want to click angrily against the coming of the night. http://americancensorship.org/

RadiosTyrone November 16, 2011 at 10:39 pm

Done, and Rep. Gerry Connolly (D) VA, just got a loud and clear Radio transmission.

Biel_ze_Bubba November 17, 2011 at 12:28 am

Done. And sent the link to absolutely everybody.

glamourdammerung November 16, 2011 at 10:29 pm

Once again, conservatives are showing their jealousy of "Red China".

And frankly any Democrat going along with this should be primaried.

Diabeetis November 17, 2011 at 1:23 am

This blog has a bipartisan list of the bill's sponsors (the AFL-CIO supports it as well, and shame on them). http://stopmebeforeivoteagain.org/2011/11/labor_k

stopthemovie November 16, 2011 at 10:31 pm

1984 knocking at your door will you let it in will you let it run your life ……. Apologies to Spirit.

Delicious_2 November 16, 2011 at 10:40 pm

"The Internet is over" -Prince

Negropolis November 16, 2011 at 10:40 pm

Congress must think it's 9% approval rating is too damn high, or they realize that a coup attempt is coming. Either way, they are more out of touch with reality than Kim Kardashian.

Maybe, the revolution won't be Youtubed and televised, but that didn't seem to bother France's, much…

On this particular issue, they have got to realize that the cat's already out of the bag on online piracy, and that this doesn't solve the preceived problem, right?

Biel_ze_Bubba November 17, 2011 at 12:31 am

Oh, it solves the perceived problem, all right.
Just as setting off a large truck bomb on Fifth avenue would solve the perceived problem of sidewalk peddlers of fake Gucci bags.

LetUsBray November 16, 2011 at 10:45 pm

This has to make Miche1e Bachmann happy, right? I mean, she was just saying we should be more like China.

Negropolis November 16, 2011 at 10:45 pm

But, we have always been at war with East Asia.

Chet Kincaid November 16, 2011 at 10:45 pm

Your Googles and your Streaming Music Sites want to be free to continue posting everyone's music and videos without even the courtesy of asking permission in advance, and free to stall, dissemble, and make artists sign out forms in quadruplicate for every megabyte of misused property they demand be taken down.

But oh, it's big mega-corporations who've swindled away the rights of some of those artists, so lets all rip everyone off!

lulzmonger November 16, 2011 at 10:53 pm

What a heartwarming story!
At last, "D" & "R" alike can find common ground:

"The peasants are revolting!"
"You said it! They stink on ice!"

A charitably-minded person like myself might go so far as to suggest that a complete list of Congressional SOPA supporters be distributed nationwide, along with the kindly suggestion of sending each & every one of them their very own copies of Mein Kampf as stocking-stuffers.

Perhaps a brief note could be included with the book reminding them that "THIS IS NOT AN INSTRUCTION MANUAL."

'Tis the season, after all!

not that Dewey November 16, 2011 at 10:57 pm

If we rename the website "Wonketster" and start offering free pirated buttseks, I bet Lamar Smith of Texas won't want to shut it down.

Herring_Burnit November 17, 2011 at 2:55 am

And I'll bet the entire fucking Republican party will stand behind him on that.

BarackMyWorld November 16, 2011 at 11:00 pm

I am confident the SCOTUS would strike down this law, provided they see it as infringing on the rights of their beloved corporate citizens.

weejee November 16, 2011 at 11:33 pm

Your forgot the R in SCROTUS.

StarsUponThars November 16, 2011 at 11:17 pm

Knock-knock.
Who's there?
Over-reaching government out to trample your rights.
Who?
Land shark.

mrblifil November 16, 2011 at 11:19 pm

I always wondered what would happen once Matt Drudge was played out to the last degree.

littlebigdaddy November 16, 2011 at 11:36 pm

Completely OT, but did anyone see The Daily Show yesterday? All, and I mean ALL, of Stewart's Cain-Libya jokes were lifted from the Wonkette thread. I personally feel flattered, but some of you more radical types may want to occupy The Daily Show.

anniegetyerfun November 17, 2011 at 11:04 am

Do you think they have room for tents in that studio?

El Pinche November 16, 2011 at 11:40 pm

Dust off those 300 baud modems, I think we're getting our country back. We're back to 1985 already. I can't wait till 1978, I love Three's Company. However 1970 and earlier will suck balls since I'll have to become a cook or servant.

sati_demise November 16, 2011 at 11:54 pm

me too.

WootInTarnation November 17, 2011 at 12:45 am

Hey, you stole my line. And my natural place in society. I just got called uppity the other day (really). We're going to have to fight over that job mucking out the outhouses.

Herring_Burnit November 17, 2011 at 2:56 am

You're in good company.

Negropolis November 17, 2011 at 6:53 am

Either that or being able to sing, dance, and/or act well. Also, throw/kick/run a ball through, over, or in something with precision. And there is still yet another option. You could also become some minority inventor/entrepreneur who comes up with something brilliant, only to not get your patent in on time and your idea stolen, and then have your house firebombed or some shit.

So many (terrible) options!

El Pinche November 17, 2011 at 9:30 am

Even then, I'll need to pull up those bootstraps!!! Fuck!

natoslug November 17, 2011 at 12:16 pm

1970? Fuck, I'll be back in diapers. I wasn't planning on doing that for another four or five decades. At least my Steve Martin "Wild and Crazy Guy" eight-track will be playable again.

Herring_Burnit November 17, 2011 at 1:04 pm

Jezus, aNOTHER fucking spring chicken. Isn't there anyone of legal age around these parts?

sbj1964 November 16, 2011 at 11:47 pm

I love the Daily Show ! I would unplug my dying mother from life support if Jon Stewart needed to charge his cellphone!

sbj1964 November 16, 2011 at 11:54 pm

It's weird that Mitt Romney is the Mormon yet Newt Gingrich is the one with 3 wives .

sbj1964 November 16, 2011 at 11:55 pm

Not on purpose computer stuck ! sorry

gogogodzilla November 16, 2011 at 11:56 pm

We'll need that killswitch to stop Skynet from nuking us.

emmelemm November 17, 2011 at 12:58 am

Actually, we'll be begging Skynet to nuke us when the plutocrats get through with us.

Herring_Burnit November 17, 2011 at 2:57 am

Christ, I'm already reduced to betting on whether I'll pop a blood vessel or blow my brains out first.

Negropolis November 17, 2011 at 6:56 am

About time Skynet comes online, so few people will have access to healthcare that we'll be near death, anyway, ladden with cancer and diabetes and heart disease with busted joints from our epically high levels of morbid obesity.

We'll be trading chickens or selling our bodies on the street for healthcare before the decade's out.

Herring_Burnit November 17, 2011 at 1:27 pm

Jeez, and I thought I was the depressingest motherfucker on the planet.

After Ken Layne(tm), of course.

(Hands over robe and crown) You earned it, buddy.

sati_demise November 16, 2011 at 11:57 pm

So, what will they call the government agency that will decide which sites to shut down?
The Dept of:

Negropolis November 17, 2011 at 1:53 am

Love?
Silly Walks?
Freedom/Liberty?

freddymcmurray November 17, 2011 at 7:44 am

Omission. ("doo" for short)

sbj1964 November 16, 2011 at 11:59 pm

What we need is Tom Cruise. Mission impossible for the Republicans ?

weejee November 17, 2011 at 12:23 am

The elected whores are widly Kochsucking their corporate masters on this one. If you sing a pop song and post it on YouTube, it will become a felony with a potential 5 year sentence 'cause you'll have aided and abetted the streaming of a copyrighted work that would cost more than $2,500 to license, even if you are a totally noncommercial user. This is an intertube version of a DMCA takedown. Is this a fucking great country or what? Any of you younger Wonketteers been trying to learn the guitar using YouTubie posts, kiss that goodbye. And anything for you gammie gammers? You knew there was, so just drop yer drawers and get ready for some serious buttsechs.

natoslug November 17, 2011 at 12:19 pm

Hey, that IS job creation. CCA can build a few more private prisons and hire some more poorly-trained guards to keep track of us all. Prison for all would mean we finally get our Universal Healthcare. It's a win for everyone!

owhatever November 17, 2011 at 12:38 am

Our government would never shut down a citizen's web site and curtail our freedom of speech. You people are always jumping to conclusiiiiooxh24999 — terminate.

weejee November 17, 2011 at 1:08 am

Qwik OT (well it's 9½ minutes, so not that quick)

/snark off, I wuz too charmed by this C'Addle treasure.

If you caught the post of 84-year-old Dorli Rainey getting peppersprayed here in Occupy Seattle, Boing Boing has an Olbermann interview of the delovely Dorli. After the intro, Keef O only says about a dozen words tops. Once Ms. Rainey gets rolling she is something else on so many levels including that she is sadly seeing signs today that remind her of her childhood in Germany (I know it's hard, but do the math).

Toomush_Infer November 17, 2011 at 8:19 am

Wow!…

datateday November 17, 2011 at 1:42 am

She even through a 'de' in there! Flipping insulting!

datateday November 17, 2011 at 2:51 am

What, are you in The South?

datateday November 17, 2011 at 1:45 am

Well, it was foolish to think they wouldn't endeavor to shut paradise down. It was a nice run while it lasted…

imissopus November 17, 2011 at 1:59 am

Everyone take a deep breath. This sucker has not yet even gotten out of the Judiciary Committee. Lamar Smith also said today that he's not happy about the provisions that would allow the DOJ to order an ISP to block all access to a website, an action that would have to be approved by a court order anyway – it's not as if the AG would have unfettered power to shut down a website simply on his own say-so. This sucker is likely to get amended before Judiciary even votes on it.

And while there is bipartisan support for this thing, there is also bipartisan opposition: Zoe Lofgren and other folks whose districts touch Silicon Valley, plus Darrell Issa and our old friend Dr. Paul, among others.

Anyway, even if the bill makes it to the floor of the House and passes, it still has to go through mark-up with its sister bill in the Senate. Currently, Ron Wyden of Oregon has a hold on that bill to prevent it from going to the floor, and he shows no sign of giving that up. So mark-up might never happen, and if it does the Senate bill is quite a bit less expansive then the House version, so it will take quite a bit of work to reconcile the two. In other words, we are a long, long way away from anything going to the president's desk.

There are a lot of terrible ideas in this bill. That's why committees hold hearings for these things. It's hardly being "rushed through" for an "eager president" to sign – it was introduced on Oct. 26 and three weeks later is getting its first hearing. There will be quite a few more, particularly now that companies like Google and FB and Verizon are lobbying against it so furiously. Meantime, Wyden has had a hold on the Senate bill for six months, and it has taken the House at least that long to put together their own version. So it's not as if things are moving swiftly here.

You know what's funny? The linked Reuters, Bloomberg, and NYT articles make no mention of Obama and his alleged eagerness for this bill. None, zero, nada. It just wouldn't be a Layne post if he didn't take his shots. If Obama has spoken in favor of this bill (at least publicly), I couldn't find anything on the Googles about it.

If you want to read about an absolutely shitty bill that DID pass the House recently, take a look at today's Gail Collins column over in the NYT. Talk about some fuckery.

Extemporanus November 17, 2011 at 3:37 am

Thank you for occupying Wonkette, comrade.

This is exactly the manner of measured, informed, well-reasoned dissent in which I should've engaged a few weeks back, rather than the frustration-fueled, insult-filled, frag-and-run stunt that I pointlessly pulled instead.

You all deserve much better from me, and I apologize if any high minded, myopic, motherfucking cross-eyed cum dumpsters were offended. (Haha!)

sati_demise November 17, 2011 at 4:14 am

whew

Come here a minute November 17, 2011 at 5:59 am

ns;dr

LiveToServeYa November 17, 2011 at 6:51 am

Again, imissopus, too.

Toomush_Infer November 17, 2011 at 8:22 am

anyway, it's all about lobby money: pay up, Internet, you hoser….

poorgradstudent November 17, 2011 at 1:09 pm

Good to hear.

Maybe a little off-topic, but I still worry about the future of interpretations of "fair use", given certain legal shenanigans against Internet review/pop culture geekery shows and blogs I read about now and then. I can see even a much watered-down version of this bill causing complications in that regard, but it's probably safe to bet that pop culture recycling/reviewing that makes extensive use of clips has become widespread enough no one's crazy or stupid enough (knock on wood) to try to force that genie back in the bottle at gunpoint.

Callyson November 17, 2011 at 2:50 am

BTW, if anyone missed it, Senator Ron Wyden has a good takedown of this crap on HuffyPo: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/sen-ron-wyden/we-ca

Pat_Pending November 17, 2011 at 3:19 am

Is it time to find a mimeograph machine in storage somewhere? I miss the purple ink of my childhood…

gurukalehuru November 17, 2011 at 3:49 am

There are many people in Hollywood and in the music industry I admire greatly, but I'm not worried about their financial interests.
If movie stars only got a couple hundred grand per flick instead of millions, there would still be plenty of actors to make movies. If rock stars had to do live performances to make a living, there would still be rock stars.

This is a fucking fascist bill. No snark.

Come here a minute November 17, 2011 at 6:00 am

This will turn using comments on RedState for posting links to pirate movie sites into the new WARBLOGGING.

DerrickWildcat November 17, 2011 at 6:21 am

I think this is a pretty good idea because once after I broke up with my girlfriend she got mad and started posting bad things about me (like how I can't keep a secret. This is totally untrue) on some websites like Ford, Sears, Sony, Con-Agra, Schwinn and The Furniture Mart. Now, if she starts doing it again, I can call the Government and have them shut down those websites for having bad things about me.

subsum November 17, 2011 at 9:57 am

What's the Interwebs anyway? Isn't it like a bunch of pipes?

WeHaveIssues November 17, 2011 at 10:53 am

The third world system of just outright bribe the person you want to do something for you is looking better every day compared to this lobbying-corporate bought politicians-doing it for the protection of _______ (fill in blank) bullshit "democracy" gone bad.

capnhuggyface November 17, 2011 at 12:49 pm

i miss the days when congress that the internet was a series of tubes

io9k9s November 17, 2011 at 2:23 pm

Most disturbing is that Biden's position on teh internets doesn't align ideologically with his recent decision to change the technological framework of his facial structures – yeesh…what a shanda…

RadiosTyrone November 16, 2011 at 9:50 pm

I hate you this word has been deleted by the administrator motherfuckers.

© Extemporanus November 17, 2011 at 12:05 am

Before us the future looms dark, and that we can scarcely

user-of-owls November 17, 2011 at 12:11 am

je je je

weejee November 17, 2011 at 12:31 am

C ? Kerrigan & Richie

© Extemporanus November 17, 2011 at 1:11 am

Doubleplusgood, but nyet.

(Gogol it.)

weejee November 17, 2011 at 1:16 am

Ah, doublepuns ain't no bulba either.

Chichikovovich November 17, 2011 at 8:19 am

These words send a sweet aroma to my nose. Sorry I didn't join in earlier, I was away from the computer, wrapped in my overcoat, on my taras on Nevski Prospekt.

tcaalaw November 17, 2011 at 11:28 am

Damn right!

Herring_Burnit November 17, 2011 at 1:23 pm

I was going to say "It's not that easy," but I like yours better.

Extemporanus November 17, 2011 at 1:59 pm

Poshlost' poshlogo cheloveka…

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