One of the funniest things Michelle Bachmann ever did – this week! – was to name her new book “Core of Conviction,” by which she means she should be convicted for being criminally insane. And now, courtesy of some tortured bet-losing news room intern who was forced to read an advance copy of her certifiable rantings, a sneak peek: she, uh, thinks that former President George W. Bush (the cute one) is a raging “socialist” for bailing out the banking industry, because Michele Bachmann has no idea what the word “socialist” or any other words at all even mean.
From the ABC News Blahg:
In the book, she criticizes Bush and then Treasury Secretary Hank Paulson, who pushed for the $700 billion TARP program for “embracing a kind of ‘bailout socialism.’”
She said it was “painful” when GOP presidential nominee Sen. John McCain supported the bailout and called it “disappointing” when then House Minority leader Rep. John Boehner also backed the legislation, according to Fox.
“I believe that had McCain opposed the bailout — if he had made a clean break, opposing Paulson and standing for principle at that crucial moment — he could have changed the 2008 election,” Bachmann writes.
Right, McCain losing had nothing to do with forgetting his lines every other day and generally coming off like an angry/confused old geezer.
ABC News also manages this stellar line of reportage: “The Minnesota congresswoman is otherwise full of praise for both Bush and Boehner.” Ha ha, we are too! We love all body parts. And the rest of Bachman’s book is apparently a litany of scorn for ACORN activists and other libruls and a catalogue of utterly bizarre praise for her conservative idols, like this childish hallucinatory moment when she was ogling John Boehner:
“As he lit up a cigarette on the porch, I suddenly realized who he reminded me of — the TV singer and movie star Dean Martin!”
WTF?
Though referred to as a “memoir,” Core of Conviction is just one of those ghost-written I’m-running-for-president exercises. (Think of it as a booby prize: Even if her campaign fails – and it will – all the free media attention will boost book sales.) Therefore, we see no reason why anyone will be talking about it a week from now. [ABC]
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Too bad "Core of Conviction" isn't about W's war crimes trial.
"Cornhole of Conviction" seems more appropriate.
Well if Boner is Dean Martin, I guess that makes Marcus Bachmann Paul Lynde.
"I teach the mambo as part of my craft. I teach ballet to stay out of the draft."
"That's disgusting!" -Paul Lynde
What's Marcus' position on Boehner?
He's behind him all the way.
No, actually he is in front of him.
Or in front of him.
Bottom. Clearly.
Wide receiver.
Tight end.
Catcher.
What's Marcus' position on Boehner?
Side saddle.
Reverse cowgirl?
Full-throated support.
Hooker.
He's pro-Boehner, but anti-Bush. Meanwhile, his wife is pro-Bush but anti-Boehner.
Doggie.
Christian missionary.
Isn't "Social Security" socialist too?
Bailouts for the olds!!!! It must be stopped.
If you're old, it's your own fault!
Oh yes, until one of them needs it.
Michele thinks when anyone receives money, it's socialism. I'm disappointed that she is running for president by accepting "campaign contribution socialism".
And farm subsidies.
That's "agriculture communism", surely?
"Michele thinks when anyone receives money, it's socialism."
Unless its a state payment for foster care.
Boehner doesn't look like Dean, but he tries to tan like Sammy.
Oompa-Loompa LIBEL!!
Needs more orange
Edited sections:
"Ever since I discovered W was a socialist that I have since regretted shoving my strong supple tongue gently down W's 1% willing mouth and kissed him deeper and more passionately than I ever have done with anyone before."
"Marcus! What are you doing with those Playgirls?! Am I not man enough for you?"
"America was settled 6 thousand years ago by Noah. Anything else is a lie by socialist Nazis."
"I love all my children. Even 'Hey You!' and 'Number 24.'"
Core of Conniption
I suddenly realized who he reminded me of — the TV singer and movie star Dean Martin!
Why? Was he drunk?
Tan, drunk and republican is no way to go through life, son.
Or dead?
and sending off a creepy lounge lizard vibe, ogling women with a cigarette dangling from his lips?
Actually, I'm starting to see the resemblance….
I hope she devotes an entire chapter to the time she had to run away from those lesbians.
And one devoted to the time she was caught on video hiding behind bushes to spy on a gay rights parade.
She keeps that chapter to herself, for Michelle-time.
" I suddenly realized who he reminded me of —Dean Martin"
Yup, fireing up a ciggie and drunk, the resembelance is uncanny. Good knife work lady…
“The Minnesota congresswoman is otherwise full of praise for both Bush and Boehner. Ha ha, we are too! We love all body parts”
I see what you did there, "DSF" Huzzahs!
But one-L left out Joe "Anus" Walsh.
Yes, far better to stick to your dogwhistle "wah socialism" convictions and let the entire global financial system destroy itself in an orgy of bank runs and collapses.
You might be broke, having seen everything you've ever worked for before be destroyed before your eyes, but at least you could hold your head up and say you stood up and were counted when socialism nearly happened.
Thinking about it, it might not be a good idea to hold your head up as someone might shoot you and use your body parts for soup.
It was quite interesting when Chimpy was saying, "I don't like socialism, but this is different!" as he and Hank were shoveling billions at Gold Mansacks and their co-conspirators. It's like saying, "I have principles, except when they get in the way of something I want to do." Which of course means they're not principles at all.
I think the point was: "This is different, because socialism involves providing relief so that even the poorest have a little money to live on. I'm dumping wheelbarrows full of cash into my rich buddies' money bins to make sure that they keep getting richer."
And I hate to admit it, but he's right about that one. It wasn't socialism.
They were just making sure their friends were taken care of before they left town.
Crazy Cunt Soup is delicious with a pinch of fennel and fresh ground basil.
It's a good thing.
“As he lit up a cigarette on the porch,” she wrote, “I suddenly realized who he reminded me of — the TV singer and movie star Dean Martin!”
Dino libel!
Dino and JEEBUS LIBEL!!
Also, Desi and Billy.
It is a vicious contest of the stupids that GOP race. I mean I know that is obvious to everyone, but sometimes you just have to say it.
I would like to see this movie.
Ooo, ooo, who plays Michele in the movie? And who plays Marcus?
Mary Tyler Moore and Eric Stonestreet.
Zoey Deschanel and Jonah Hill.
John Cleese and Divine.
Nailed it! Cleese would do an awesome Miche1e drag, and Divine is/was legendary…
Susan Lucci and Chaz Bono?
As James Agee might have said, if he were alive today, "Let us now praise Bush and Boehner." And also, let us note that Marcus has the fashion sense of a Japanese woman.
Every time Michelle opens her mouth, I remember why they make ball gags.
i doubt she's gagged on many balls.
That's Marcus' department.
Strange fact from Michele's book: She totally loved Stalin except for when he bailed out the Minsk Tractor Collective.
To be fair, that collective was poorly run and couldn't match the relative quality being turned out by Japanese tractor companies.
It never did occur to her that she was one of the Kulaks.
Those are the Russian Kulaks. She's only related to a few of the Iowa Kulaks.
Now that is socialism
“As he lit up a cigarette on the porch, I suddenly realized who he reminded me of — the TV singer and movie star Dean Martin!”
Ew and damn, Shelley. French kissing W was bad enough, but fantasizing about Boehner? Christ, girl. Crank up the Sybian and have a seat. You can thank me later.
Vibrator libel!
Have to wait till Marcus is done.
I think the Sybilian might be more appropriate for Chely.
Gee Dubya was a socialist, China is a capitalist country, Boehner was an actor and Ronnie was a politician.
What is this woman smoking?
I don't know but I would like some…
Does Michele write about how she was disappointed in herself for accepting farm subsidies socialism? Or Congressional paycheck socialism?
Truth Libel!
From the alleged book:
“What really mattered was spreading money to their friends and political allies — the big-city liberal mayors, the [community organizer] Saul Alinksy nostalgists, the ACORN activists, the taxpayer-subsidy-dependent green-jobs propagandists, and all the other moochers, hustlers and rent seekers demanding ‘a place at the table’ when liberals control the White House.”
Where DO they learn that projection and how can we get some Dems on that shit?
The lady can put down run on sentences like there's no tomorrow though!
"Saul Alinsky nostalgists".
This is the one that drives me especially bananas. Nobody under the age of 65 – and scarce few of them – knew who in Sam Hell Saul Alinsky was, before some Koch-sponsored group or other decided to send out the talking point that all of us were secretly following the directives of Rules for Radicals, a book that nobody under the age of 65 – and scarce few of them – had ever heard of until suddenly every single Republican coast to coast simultaneously started gassing on and on about it. A couple of years of mindless repetition from every dittohead and wingnut hack – each one referring to the others, and them alone, and voilà! You've got yourself another Wingnut Bizarro World Fact.
Nobody under the age of 65 – and scarce few of them – knew who in Sam Hell Saul Alinsky was
True. And future generations of radical liberals will thank them for uncovering Mr. Alinsky's helpful advice.
Let's hope. Perhaps we can nudge the Koch-sponger-American community into denouncing us for reading Michael Harrington and JK Galbraith next. It's time to get young people reading them again too.
May be difficult when the last existing library was dumped by police at Zucotti Square.
Hey, there's no alt text on the picture! Could this mean Jim Newell is back?
I propose: "I don't understand my crazy either."
Michelle, Michelle how quickly you forget. In this case forget the moment when you attempted fellatio on that very same GW live on national TV after his State of the Union Miss-Address.
When she first ran in 2006 her platform was to get rid of the socialism in DC, this when the GOP controlled Congress and Bush/Cheney roamed the earth. Her mother must have been frightened by the McCarthy Hearings when she was pregnant with her.
Please make her go away now.
bachmannn+mansonnn Shelly and Charlie in '12 FTW !
Core of Commitment?
I think her Core needs moar Pilates instructor.
Here I was hoping she was giving up politics for a career in the fitness industry.
(Nuclear) Core Containment
as in SEAL HER IN A LEAD LINED CONCRETE BOX
I was thinking more along the lines of her involuntary commitment…to an asylum of some sort
If you're a fame whore it makes no sense NOT to run for president these days.
And yet every time George addressed Congress she would fly out of her seat and tackle him when he was making his exit. I am convinced if the cameras didn’t pan away young viewers (ha like there are any) would have been treated to the spectacle of Michelle dry humping our former POTUS while week stomached colleagues ran for the door.
…she, uh, thinks that former President George W. Bush (the cute one) is a raging “socialist” for bailing out the banking industry, because Michele Bachmann has no idea what the word “socialist” or any other words at all even mean.
NONE OF THEM DO.
Well to her credit Dean Martin was a drunk too.
The difference between Dean Martin and Boehner is that Dean Martin was only pretending to be a lush.
Other than the orange glow, I don't see it.
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_NjFpppCHqBE/SVJPdds9zdI...
I usually like media with the words "Core" and "Convict" like "Hard Core Lesbian Convicts", but I gotta say I find this difficult to masterbate to.
Baconz back!
It's nice to know that I was missed.
ROTFLMAO!
" I suddenly realized who he reminded me of —Dean Martin"
She has a point. When I look at the Repubicans, I think of a Rat Pack too.
How many times do you have to be struck by lightning to think this way?
I'm not sure, but it seems to happen more often than is statistically probable, given the current GOP field.
Oh, all of them, Katie.
WAY too many monkeys at the typewriters these days.
Job creatin', for Republicans, takes many strange forms.
The bard libel!
I'm sorry, I'm not wearing my glasses. Is Bachmann's book called "Whore of Addiction ? "
It seems silly to point out to Michele that emptying the piggy bank and giving the contents to Hank Paulson's rich buddies isn't socialism so much as it is a panicky harebrained shitfit. But then with her expertise on economic theory, Herman Cain's grasp of foreign policy and Rick Perry's knowledge of the seven branches of government I find the most amazing thing is that some opinionator hasn't just thrown up his hands and said this whole bunch of ignoramuses shouldn't be doing anything more significant than piling out of a car in clown costumes.
But that would be based on the wildly unproven theory that Teabaggers and many of the GOPer base base their decisions on logic and facts.
Now you mention that, I'm sure the opening of the GOP debates would have been far better had the theme tune from "The Banana Splits" been playing as they walked to their podiums.
"Core of Conviction" – also title of John Ensign Yoga DVD
I wish this woman would embrace a kind of "Shut-the-fuck-up-you-barking-lunatic socialism."
Wasn't Michele the one that was French kissing that socialist at a state of the union speech?or was that Mean Jean Schmidt? I get them confused.
It was One-L herself handing out that tongue-mining expedition. Just after she whispered "Why save your kisses for the Saudi Royal Family, when you can have a taste of my sweet loving?" The girl has her passionate side – she was never quite the same after the Commander Codpiece in Flight Suit episode on the carrier.
If only Dino and Jerry could have mended that rift.
I suspect that One-L has only seen Dean Martin in Technicolor, and therefore thinks that he's also orange.
Remember, folks, that "conviction" in Christian parlance is akin to the bulletproof belief that every person must receive Christ Jesus as their savior.
I wish I was kidding. Fuck the economy, and screw social services. This bitch wants us all saved.
Yes, of course. It's much easier to manipulate the masses into doing your bidding when they all believe in the same brand of imaginary zombie sky god. See: Jones, Jim.
Nationalizing the banks wold have been socialism (and probably a good idea). Bailing them out for free was just totally corrupt.
The Tea Party ultimately just wants to take the "capitalism" out of "crony capitalism."
Come now, Michele knows what "socialism" means – it means stuff she doesn't like.
In the book, she criticizes Bush and then Treasury Secretary Hank Paulson, who pushed for the $700 billion TARP program for “embracing a kind of ‘bailout socialism.’”
Bitch doesn't even know how to spell "soshulizm"!!1!
Marcus is full of praise for Boehner..
Your post could be two words shorter.
Eww. Who wants an orange rectum?
Dino and Boehner costarred in her favorite movie, Rio Blotto.
I thought she had a chewy nougat core?
Correct! It is comprised entirely of semi-digested pills.
One of my more pitiable celebrity sightings was walking into the Hamburger Hamlet on Sunset Boulevard and seeing the soon-to-be-late Dean Martin drinking alone in a booth. So I'm fairly impressed with the nugget of truth in Bachmann's otherwise nutty vision of Boehner.
Also, I want to send a box of cigars to the wiseacre at ABC News who came up with that Bush and Boehner line, then stood by poker-faced as he or she actually saw it go to press.
Was he thinking about dames?
There's a blast from the past. I lived on Alta Loma in 1971, and the Hamlet was a great place for stargazing.
I like her better with the Corndog in her Piehole.
Does Shelly find her "core of conviction" every time she pegs Marcus right up his wazoo?
I LOL'd
"Dino" Boner starring in O Shits 11
Typo — it was supposed to be 'Corn of Conviction'. A poo-based memoir about her time in Iowa.
Yep. You eat corn, you shit corn.
Slightly OT, but we watched a pbs documentary last night about nazi war criminals not being brought to justice, and (g-d knows why) Giuliani was included making commentary. Mr Geminisunmars and I remarked that ol' Rudy is looking like a sage statesman these days after a summer and autumn of Repub debates.
She could use a conviction. And no suspended sentence, either.
Oh, I didn't realize that Dean Martin broke into tears at the drop of a hat.
I see your Core of Conviction, and raise you a Cart of Compost
That God, telling this collection of loathsome whores to run for president… Such an imp!
I'm waiting on pins and needles to find who is Jerry Lewis?
Hey LADY!!!!
I'd still hit that. HAWT.
Have you no standards, no decency, no self-respect!?
I'd hit that, too. With my car. That, or a ten-point Gallup poll.
This book needs scrutiny from the CDC………………….
Who the hell buys these books??? I mean besides campaign funded book buys!
I did not realize that there was such a market for books written by the criminally insane.
In another section, she describes putting her crazy eyes on the dusky socialist Obama and thinking "Mandingo!" So did Marcus.
Boehner reminded her of Dean Martin……………do we need any further proof of how warped her perception of reality is?
I hope Dean Martin and the rest of Rat Pack rise from their graves and haunt this bitch for the rest of her life.
The thing is, Bachmann and most of the other people now calling Dubya a socialist, RINO, etc. were the same ones who used to say you hated America if you didn't support him when he was in office.
O.K., then, Boehner is Moe, Cantor is Larry and Newt is Curly.
Wondering who Jerry Lewis is in this analogy, realizing of course it's her.
Lady!
Oh, so Boehner's always falling through the floor of the House, too, then?
Between John Boehner and Mark Block, they have succeeded in convincing 14 year olds nationwide that smoking is definitely not cool. Good job, fellas!
no one will be talking about this book a week from now because it will have been remaindered by then
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