WHAT AN ASSHOLE!  12:43 pm November 16, 2011

Lying Liar Newt Gingrich Lies All Day Long, Is a Huge Liar

by Kirsten Boyd Johnson

His real name is Dirk.

Pop quiz time! How many of the following things in this paraphrase of some dumb thing Stay-Puft clone Newt Gingrich said during a recent GOP debate are true: “The $300,000 I was paid by Freddie Mac were for my services as, uh, a historian.” Correct answer: ZERO. Newt was paid at least $1.6 million, and part of his job was to shill Freddie Mac’s good name to congressional Republicans who wanted to burn the government-backed mortgage giant to the ground. Of course, it also turns out that Newt was earning all these piles of silly monies by lying about his True Feelings, since he immediately started to trash Freddie Mac the minute he stopped getting their checks.

Exhibit A, from Bloomberg:

Former Freddie Mac officials familiar with his work in 2006 say Gingrich was asked to build bridges to Capitol Hill Republicans and develop an argument on behalf of the company’s public-private structure that would resonate with conservatives seeking to dismantle it.

Exhibit B, from TalkingPointsMemo:

As Republicans presidential nominee John McCain struggled to match his opponent in the polls, Newt Gingrich urged the Arizona Senator to reboot his campaign by relentlessly attacking Democrats for being too close to housing giant Freddie Mac. That would be the same Newt Gingrich who took a reported $1.6 million in “consulting fees” from Freddie Mac during an eight-year relationship that had ended only months earlier.

Is his real name even NEWT? (Because seriously, how is that anyone’s real name.) [Bloomberg/TPM]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 170 comments }

nounverb911 November 16, 2011 at 12:44 pm

“I can’t handle the truth!”
–Newt Gingrich

MzNicky November 16, 2011 at 12:45 pm

I hope his pants are on fire all day long too.

Omophagist November 16, 2011 at 12:47 pm

Judging by his promiscuous ways, his crotch is almost certainly on fire all day long.

Dok-cupy Everything November 16, 2011 at 12:55 pm

Prevaricator, prevaricator, trousers aflame!

Not_So_Much November 16, 2011 at 12:56 pm

At his size, the inner thigh friction just from shuffling between restaurants has to be intense.

Dok-cupy Everything November 16, 2011 at 1:01 pm

I wouldn't piss on him if he was on fire.

For one thing, liquid on a grease fire is just bad news…

Negropolis November 17, 2011 at 12:43 am

He generates enough energy to power a whole village of idiots.

CapnFatback November 16, 2011 at 1:21 pm

Or–at the very least–on all day.

ManchuCandidate November 16, 2011 at 12:45 pm

Oh boy, it's Newt's turn on the Wheel of (Well Deserved) Misfortune.

BTW it's easier to list what Newty Toot isn't lying about:

That is all.

Redhead November 16, 2011 at 12:46 pm

You expect the people voting in the Republican primaries to remember things from 2006 and 2008?

They can't even remember which flavor of Cheetohs they had for dinner last night or which Hoverround they used to "walk" the dog this morning. Why would you expect them to remember actual facts?

ManchuCandidate November 16, 2011 at 12:51 pm

That's quite true and quite fair. On the other hand I remember reading Newton's involvement in the clusterfuck of Operation Iraqi Liberation. There were stories floating around that he wanted to be known as "General" Newt.

freakishlywrong November 16, 2011 at 1:11 pm

Indeed. They don't seem to like bringing up their hero, Dubya any more either because he wasn't a "true conservative". Only they voted for him twice and loudly defended every awful thing he did. And look., turns out we were right. Again.

GOPCrusher November 16, 2011 at 1:23 pm

Hell, since the meltdown of 2008, all I've heard is that Chris Dodd and Barney Frank were the only two people that benefited from Freddie Mac.

memzilla November 16, 2011 at 12:46 pm

Wasn't there a Dr. Seuss character named "The Gingrich?"

nounverb911 November 16, 2011 at 12:48 pm

And he waged a war on Christmas.

ManchuCandidate November 16, 2011 at 1:00 pm

Except his belly grew 3 sizes at the buffet.

freakishlywrong November 16, 2011 at 1:11 pm

Yes. He was a "mean one", fittingly.

MOG2410 November 16, 2011 at 4:35 pm

He is indeed nasty-wasty.

Negropolis November 17, 2011 at 12:44 am

Well played.

While the Grinch's heart was three sizes two small, I'd bet Newt's dangerously engorged heart is three sizes too large.

nounverb911 November 16, 2011 at 12:47 pm

Isn't Newt due for a new wife soon?

unclejeems November 16, 2011 at 12:57 pm

Nah, whats-er-face ain't on her death bed yet.

Mahousu November 16, 2011 at 1:09 pm

Photographic evidence suggests otherwise.

Monsieur_Grumpe November 16, 2011 at 1:16 pm

Botox overdoes?

NellCote71 November 16, 2011 at 8:26 pm

Can she even close her eyes at night. Of course, if I lived with Newt, I would want to keep, nah, can't even go there.

chicken_thief November 16, 2011 at 12:47 pm

*shaking head* The damned lamestream media and their "gotcha!" questions….

MzNicky November 16, 2011 at 12:48 pm

"Is his real name even NEWT? (Because seriously, how is that anyone’s real name.)"

And "Gingrich"! What the fuck is up with that? Is this what happens to a person who has to go through his whole life with a name like "Newt Gingrich"?

LetUsBray November 16, 2011 at 12:51 pm

Given that he's from Georgia, maybe "Newt Gingrich" is a Cherokee expression meaning "Giant-mouthed fat fuck sleazebag?"

KathrynSane November 16, 2011 at 12:48 pm

Between this and the Karl Rove post, I think I've reached my maximum daily allowance of lying corrupt doughy old white men.

jus_wonderin November 16, 2011 at 12:52 pm

KS, binge and purge is an option. Though, I get that out of order when I see either of these two.

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 16, 2011 at 1:35 pm

What? We can't have a Haley Barbour post today?

DaSandman November 16, 2011 at 12:48 pm

Put your diamonds on quick Cally, time for another cruise!

BigDumbRedDog November 16, 2011 at 12:48 pm

That headline can be used interchangeably with most of the republican party.

slithytoves November 16, 2011 at 12:48 pm

Tell me in that picture he doesn't look like a Scottish fold. But not so much cuddly.. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scottish_Fold

Dok-cupy Everything November 16, 2011 at 1:00 pm

Maru libel!

reliefsinn November 16, 2011 at 2:08 pm

Thanks for letting us know that there is an entity by the name of
"The Governing Council of The Cat Fancy".

Nostrildamus November 16, 2011 at 2:09 pm

Needs moar rivers and burlap sacks.

slithytoves November 16, 2011 at 2:22 pm

Ugh. But true.

Chet Kincaid November 16, 2011 at 2:34 pm

Oh, a cat. I expected a dish of something disgusting served in a wrinkly intestine.

OccupytheDashboard November 16, 2011 at 2:50 pm

I was too. My trembling finger clicked the link as I expected to see a picture of fresh vomit in a sheep's stomach. Instead, it was awwwww, kitties!

NellCote71 November 16, 2011 at 8:37 pm

Yeah, way too cute and lovable to resemble Newt.

Gratuitous World November 16, 2011 at 12:49 pm

all the GOP base cares about is that he's a condescending dick to debate moderators.

V572625694 November 16, 2011 at 12:59 pm

He's a condescending dick to everybody — an equal-opportunity condescender! Newt @ the Pearly Gates: "Listen, 'Yah-Weh,' or whatever you call yourself these days. I fucked all those women because I loved my country so much. Is that just too complex for a supposedly all-knowing, all-seeing deity to comprehend?

paris biltong November 16, 2011 at 1:06 pm

He managed to find several women willing to fuck him?

SorosBot November 16, 2011 at 1:08 pm

He's rich.

NellCote71 November 16, 2011 at 8:38 pm

Courtesy of Freddie Mac.

Chichikovovich November 16, 2011 at 1:23 pm

There's a certain kind of woman whose equivalent of "beer goggles" is the distortion you get when you look through a huge, sparkling, glistening rock.

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 16, 2011 at 1:36 pm

Do we have proof of that? No, wait, I rather not see it.

Callyson November 16, 2011 at 12:49 pm

He said he couldn’t recall details of the contracts with Freddie Mac. “You are asking me about 12 years ago,” he said.
Allow me to refresh your memory, Newt…in 1999 we had peace and prosperity under Bill Clinton. That was after you were out of office and before the nightmare reign of W…remember now?

jus_wonderin November 16, 2011 at 12:54 pm

I am pretty sure I could remember if I made 1.6 million 12 years ago. Hell, I could remember that for the entirety of my 52 years!

Blueb4sunrise November 16, 2011 at 12:55 pm

I thought he was a goddam historian.

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 16, 2011 at 1:02 pm

Conservative history has nothing to do with remembering the truth.

GOPCrusher November 16, 2011 at 1:28 pm

Read his take on The Battle of Gettysburg. The term "historian" and Newt Gingrich are mutually exclusive.

KeepFnThatChicken November 16, 2011 at 1:41 pm

God dammit, I do.

edgydrifter November 16, 2011 at 12:50 pm

Newt should use the Marion Barry crack defense: he had to take all the money, see, to keep it from corrupting more vulnerable members of Congress. Yeah, that's right.

reliefsinn November 16, 2011 at 2:09 pm

In the service of his country!

Negropolis November 17, 2011 at 1:03 am

I thught his defense was "the bitch set me up"?

ShitFilledExistence November 16, 2011 at 12:50 pm

Baby New Year is a liar?

HempDogbane November 16, 2011 at 12:51 pm

American Acceptionalism !

memzilla November 16, 2011 at 12:52 pm

Doersn't Tiffany's need a lobbyist/spokesthing, to convince the OWS Movement to not trash its plate glass windows as they march uptown tomorrow?

bumfug November 16, 2011 at 12:53 pm

If you think this bad, wait til it's Santorum's week to be the one with a surge. Not all bad, I guess – at least we'll have the fun of hearing Diane Sawyer use the phrase "Surging Santorum".

Chichikovovich November 16, 2011 at 1:26 pm

Or even worse if Santorum's numbers just get slowly closer and closer to Romney's. Then it will be "The relentless "drip, drip" of approaching Santorum".

Gleem_McShineys November 16, 2011 at 4:21 pm

Santorum No Longer Trails Behind Romney

tihond November 16, 2011 at 4:26 pm

Bravo, sir, bravo. *slow clap*

KeepFnThatChicken November 16, 2011 at 1:42 pm

"Coming up in the poles is Santorum…"

SorosBot November 16, 2011 at 12:53 pm

But "I was only doing it for the money" is probably a good excuse for Republican primary voters.

PeaceWithHonor November 16, 2011 at 12:54 pm

Well, the ex-wife's cancer was real. So I think the model is that anything Newt says that reflects well on his character is just bullshit.

johnnyzhivago November 16, 2011 at 12:54 pm

OT, but if they have a historian, do you think Fannie Mae has an opening for a Poet in Residence?

V572625694 November 16, 2011 at 1:07 pm

Looks like it.

ASHINGTON, Nov 16 (Reuters) – Top executives at Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac on Wednesday defended their companies' pay practices which have drawn opposition after it was disclosed the government-controlled firms were paying out nearly $13 million in executive bonuses.

NellCote71 November 16, 2011 at 8:42 pm

Poet mortgageate?

RadiosTyrone November 16, 2011 at 12:54 pm

When his old lies get cancer he just dumps them.

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 16, 2011 at 1:03 pm

For younger, intern lies?

edgydrifter November 16, 2011 at 12:55 pm

Newt Gingrich is a passionate man. Very passionate, for America. So great is his passion that sometimes he just has to straight-up fuck a huge pile of cash to keep his lust for freedom and liberty under control. You don't want to see Newt Gingrich with a case of red-white-and-blue-balls. It's scary.

jus_wonderin November 16, 2011 at 1:06 pm

While I can picture that (argh), I can also imagine (ewww) Newt rolling a Benjamin up as if he was going to snort a line, but using it to jiggle his girth while moaning "Here's your contract with America, baby!"

V572625694 November 16, 2011 at 12:55 pm

It's only fair to point out, though, that Gingrich's innate charm and gentle wit should overcome any difficulties he may have in dealing with his sordid past. The guy is just so likeable!

Chichikovovich November 16, 2011 at 1:37 pm

Maybe you have him confused with Idi Amin.

Chillwaver November 16, 2011 at 12:56 pm

“The $300,000 I was paid by Freddie Mac were for my services as, uh, a historian.”

By "Historian," Newt means having an extensive history of being a corrupt douchebag and serial adulterer.

freakishlywrong November 16, 2011 at 12:56 pm

Why is this mendacious fat fuck and the other lying, bloated asshole still allowed out in to polite company? Newt, Karl , go the fuck away. Just GO away.

smitallica November 16, 2011 at 12:56 pm

So what you're saying is, Newt Gingrich is a bit of a dick?

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 16, 2011 at 3:17 pm

As in that bit of the foreskin that you throw away after circumcision. Yes. I'm pretty sure the technical name for that is the "Newt."

Dok-cupy Everything November 16, 2011 at 12:57 pm

In God We Trust. Newt, on the other hand, has to pay cash up front.

Chichikovovich November 16, 2011 at 1:38 pm

He's the one Georgian that they won't give the new license plate to.

KeepFnThatChicken November 16, 2011 at 1:44 pm

He is originally from Georgia. Maybe we should stamp one of those plates on his wide load ass.

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 16, 2011 at 3:17 pm

Not at Tiffany's', he doesn't.

Mumbletypeg November 16, 2011 at 12:57 pm

the former speaker said he “offered them advice on precisely what they didn’t do.”

You'll need to be a little more precise than that, Mr. Former Speaker. For the love of Saint Ronnie — pulling a halfway coherent defense statement from your piehole is as promising as pulling lint free from that gelatin-packed belly-hole.

SorosBot November 16, 2011 at 12:58 pm

Why would a mortgage company want to hire someone as a historian?

Chillwaver November 16, 2011 at 1:08 pm

To revise it, obvs.

Not_So_Much November 16, 2011 at 12:58 pm

He's 68 and 400 pounds overweight. How is he still alive as a viable candidate? Actually, how is he still alive at all?

elviouslyqueer November 16, 2011 at 1:21 pm

Actually, how is he still alive at all?

I'm sure Newtie is partaking of the same formaldehyde and goat jism potion that keeps the Corpse of Malibu Barbie Callista looking so mummified dewy fresh.

HogeyeGrex November 16, 2011 at 1:24 pm

That's what the whole "Deal With Satan" thing is all about, y'know.

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 16, 2011 at 1:38 pm

Government Health Care.

Negropolis November 17, 2011 at 1:06 am

Tiger blood, oh, and the occasional aborted fetus.

fartknocker November 16, 2011 at 12:58 pm

The GOP have really made this Blowvember oh so special. And Newt is nothing more than gyrating goatfucker.

paris biltong November 16, 2011 at 1:01 pm

The quality of Freddie Mac's outstanding management never ceases to impress me.

hagajim November 16, 2011 at 1:01 pm

Why didn't headline say Newt is a Douche? Or maybe Newt is big fat dickhole with no redeeming value?

mavenmaven November 16, 2011 at 1:04 pm

Facts are lazy and facts are late… Facts don't do what I want them to. Facts just twist the truth around… (David Byrne, and as an aside, RIP Laura Kennedy)

johnnymeatworth November 16, 2011 at 1:04 pm

"Is his real name even NEWT? (Because seriously, how is that anyone’s real name.) " It's actually NOT! From the wikipedia: "Gingrich was born Newton Leroy McPherson, at the Harrisburg Hospital in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania on June 17, 1943."

Chichikovovich November 16, 2011 at 1:43 pm

Though to be frank, I would rather we use the name of a toxic, thin-skinned salamander rather than the name of one of the great scientists of all time.

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 16, 2011 at 1:05 pm

Just further proof that Freddie and Fannie aren't run like real businesses. If they had been, they would have kept Newt on the payroll so he would say the right thing. Doesn't everyone know by now that Newt's first loyalty is to money and bling?

CapeClod November 16, 2011 at 1:23 pm

Money, bling and increasingly younger booty.

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 16, 2011 at 1:40 pm

Oh, Newt isn't loyal the booty.

CapeClod November 16, 2011 at 1:48 pm

You are right. Substitute 'loyal' with 'hot for.'

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 16, 2011 at 3:18 pm

Done and done.

Chet Kincaid November 16, 2011 at 4:58 pm

Suge Knight has just signed up to manage Newt's campaign and label, "Fat Boy Records."

Negropolis November 17, 2011 at 1:08 am

I wish he'd end up like some of the folks that have been "managed" by Suge Knight…

elviouslyqueer November 16, 2011 at 1:06 pm

Oh my, what's this? government watchdogs noted that politicians like Gingrich often deliberately structured “consultant” jobs to circumvent lobbying registration requirements.

So in addition to being a lying, scheming, porcine motherfucker, Newtie is also corrupt and avaricious. Well, I am SHOCKED.

ShitFilledExistence November 16, 2011 at 1:06 pm

Yeah Newt's an 'ideas man'.. The ideas are to take large sums of money and lie about it.

Chichikovovich November 16, 2011 at 1:44 pm

You gotta admit, though. That's a great idea.

DerrickWildcat November 16, 2011 at 1:06 pm

Moderator: Mr. Gingrich, can you explain the accusations that you have received 1.6 million dollars from the organization you heavily criticized?

Newt: Fuck You! No really, Fuuuuckkkk Yooouuuuu! I don't have to answer your fucking questions. I don't have to answer to anyone.

Oblios_Cap November 16, 2011 at 1:17 pm

That's known as "The Herman Cain Defense".

GOPCrusher November 16, 2011 at 1:33 pm

O/T but Herb Cain stated today in a speech that he would legalize marijuana if he's elected President.

DerrickWildcat November 16, 2011 at 2:23 pm

But own a bong, go to prison.

tihond November 16, 2011 at 1:07 pm

Remember how Newt was scared being in the same room with Clinton, because he was worried Clinton would "charm" him. How much would it take to pay Clinton to just follow Newt around?

freakishlywrong November 16, 2011 at 1:13 pm

And poke him and ask him "Does this bug you"? "Does this bug you"? All day.

jus_wonderin November 16, 2011 at 1:18 pm

And maybe repeat what he says as he says it…incessantly.

Oblios_Cap November 16, 2011 at 1:18 pm

Given Willie's taste in mistresses, a few of Callista's blowjobs would be all he'd want.

Allmighty_Manos November 16, 2011 at 1:08 pm

I think we should all try getting into the GOP primary just to enjoy the glory of a one week surge in the polls. we still got at least two months to Iowa and only Republicans who haven't got to be the anti-Romney yet are Sanatorum and Huntsman.

littlebigdaddy November 16, 2011 at 1:08 pm

Who do I have to blow to get a 1.6 million contract?

paris biltong November 16, 2011 at 1:13 pm

Freddie Mac. Enjoy.

Oblios_Cap November 16, 2011 at 1:18 pm

I'll give you the contract after you're done.

tihond November 16, 2011 at 4:35 pm

all of them, Katie.

Negropolis November 17, 2011 at 1:19 am

A Republican senator.

BarackMyWorld November 16, 2011 at 1:09 pm

If you look at it honestly, though, unless he suddenly admits he's unethical, hypocritical, dishonest demagogue with a giant ego who enjoys talking down to everyone around him, pretty much everything he says about himself is going to be a lie.

orygoon November 16, 2011 at 1:12 pm
gurukalehuru November 16, 2011 at 1:13 pm

One good thing you can say about Rick Perry, Herman Cain and Michele Bachmann is they at least have real names. Not like Newt, or Mitt.

JustPixelz November 16, 2011 at 1:34 pm

James Richard Perry
Willard Mitt Romney
Newton Leroy Gingrich

Then there's Rick Santorum. With that last name, he must have had a tough time in high school, like my classmate Joe Seaman. Or Ana Marie Cox for that matter.

Chet Kincaid November 16, 2011 at 3:00 pm

SWEET CHEEKS LIBEL!

GOPCrusher November 16, 2011 at 1:35 pm

Michele is a real name?

Mumbly_Occupado November 16, 2011 at 1:14 pm

As Republicans presidential nominee John McCain struggled to match his opponent in the polls, Newt Gingrich urged the Arizona Senator to reboot his campaign by relentlessly attacking Democrats for being too close to housing giant Freddie Mac. That would be the same Newt Gingrich who took a reported $1.6 million in “consulting fees” from Freddie Mac during an eight-year relationship that had ended only months earlier.

I believe this is what's referred to in politics as a "dick move".

RadiosTyrone November 16, 2011 at 1:23 pm

He's also against that crony capitalism.

NellCote71 November 16, 2011 at 8:49 pm

He just treated Freddie Mac like he did his ex-wives.

x111e7thst November 16, 2011 at 1:15 pm

And with this Dirk I thee screw.

widestanceshakedown November 16, 2011 at 1:18 pm

His real name is:

DRAINAGE!

Come here a minute November 16, 2011 at 1:19 pm

Newt was earning all these piles of silly monies by lying about his true feelings.

How cute! You think Newt has "true feelings". His only feelings are the kind that are licensed out at an hourly rate.

Guppy November 16, 2011 at 1:19 pm

Next he'll say he was completely faithful to his wife during this consultancy gig.

CapeClod November 16, 2011 at 1:22 pm

Calling Newt Gingrich a historian is like calling Bill O'Reilly a historian.

Guppy November 16, 2011 at 1:22 pm

"Who are you going to believe? Me, or your lying eyes the librul media?"

owhatever November 16, 2011 at 1:24 pm

He looks like a fat and old Ann Coulter.

OccupytheDashboard November 16, 2011 at 1:55 pm

Which is kinda cool since Ann Coulter looks like a skinny and old Ann Coulter.

elviouslyqueer November 16, 2011 at 2:35 pm

Which is kinda cool since Ann Coulter looks like a skinny and old Ann Coulter the anorexic bastard love child of Donatella Versace and Nicki Minaj.

Fixed.

OccupytheDashboard November 16, 2011 at 2:49 pm

Oh sweet jesus…man, something cannot be unseen.

Negropolis November 17, 2011 at 1:24 am

As it should be seeing as how Ann Coulter is an old man.

meatlofer November 16, 2011 at 1:24 pm

All of a sudden, I'm all for Waterboarding!

Monsieur_Grumpe November 16, 2011 at 1:25 pm

He'll just blame this on the "fact" that he cares too much for country and is working too hard. Just like his adultery.

Goonemeritus November 16, 2011 at 1:25 pm

So by your analogy Newt is like a prostitute who would derisively talk about her client after the money has changed hands. I for one feel this analogy is unfair maybe even cruel after all many prostitutes have repeat business. I have never heard of anyone willingly hiring Newt for a second screwing.

Mumbly_Occupado November 16, 2011 at 1:34 pm

And yet, Newt's hoping that America will.

JustPixelz November 16, 2011 at 1:27 pm

Me: "It's sad that the news media doesn't report accurately how Newt works."

Maria Bartiromo: "What is the media reporting inaccurately about Newt?"

Me (incredulously): "What?!? Maria Bartiromo is talking to me! She's the Money Honey. And she's talking to me!"

chascates November 16, 2011 at 1:35 pm

And serial adulterer to boot. I think we have a winner here!

GOPCrusher November 16, 2011 at 1:37 pm

Newt was brought up on 85 ethics violations. And he's considered a front runner for the Republiklan nomination.
Beam me up, Scotty.

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 16, 2011 at 1:43 pm

Interesting: In 2000, the GOP went with Bush, who was Clinton but without the intelligence. Now they are enamored with Newt, who is Clinton without the charisma.

Wilcoxyz November 16, 2011 at 1:47 pm

I believe that $1.6 million was for horseplay or some other non-rapey activity with the poor folks at Freddie, Newt explained.

Chet Kincaid November 16, 2011 at 3:06 pm

You were first, but I nailed it to the shower wall.

Too soon?

Ancient_Hacker November 16, 2011 at 1:50 pm

Wait til Callista hears about the size of that paycheck. She'll be down at Tiffany's before you can say high-pitched blame-deflecting liar and adulterer.

Nostrildamus November 16, 2011 at 2:00 pm

Fish gotta swim
Birds gotta fly …

DahBoner November 16, 2011 at 2:04 pm

I sure hope before Newt took this quiz, that he transferred ownership of his house to his wife for $1…

SayItWithWookies November 16, 2011 at 2:05 pm

I'd like to see Newt at the next debate hooked up to an electrical shock device that's controlled by his two ex-wives — anytime he says something they think is a lie they get to give him a good jolt. Of course it would have to automatically stop after 30 seconds of continuous operation, because I'm sure even if he says "Aarrrrrrgh" he's probably finding some way to make that a lie as well.

emmelemm November 16, 2011 at 2:26 pm

Newt is in an elite club of the seriously MOST loathesome Republican turds around. Sure, they're all loathsome turds, but some of them go above and beyond.

Rotundo_ November 16, 2011 at 7:15 pm

In septic tanks, the big chunks rise to the top.

Chet Kincaid November 16, 2011 at 2:38 pm

He was not "lobbying" for Freddie Mac. What you saw was just horsing around, snapping towels, that sort of thing. Is he attracted to money over principle? Well, uh…no, certainly not.

DahBoner November 16, 2011 at 4:40 pm

Exactly! What principles?

Negropolis November 17, 2011 at 1:29 am

Nice.

AlaskaGrrl November 16, 2011 at 2:46 pm

Well of course he was lying! Everything about the Newtster is a lie. Have you seen his "wife"? Tell me she isn't made up.

Ancient_Hacker November 16, 2011 at 2:53 pm

Wait til Callista hears about the size of that paycheck. She'll be down at Tiffany's before you can say high-pitched blame-deflecting liar and adulterer.

Chet Kincaid November 16, 2011 at 3:04 pm

The Hillbilly Dough Boy.

Chet Kincaid November 16, 2011 at 3:09 pm

The Republican 2012 Presidential Field is an aircraft carrier that just won't flush.

Bill_Mars November 16, 2011 at 3:15 pm

Newt needs to sell a lot of books and whore himself out for causes he doesn't believe in so he can afford to buy new vapid wives to replace the ones that he gave cancer. Hey, that might be a good slogan for his fake presidential campaign!

fitley November 16, 2011 at 5:08 pm

Newt needs to change his famous quote "If you quote me, you're lying". It needs to be
"If you quote me , I'm probably lying".

ttommyunger November 16, 2011 at 9:03 pm

Mouth opens up, lies come out; who can explain it?

rocktonsam November 16, 2011 at 10:27 pm

Callista got to go to Tiffany's
whats fair is fair on some one else dime.

Negropolis November 17, 2011 at 12:42 am

And, Mitt Romney supposed to be the one without the soul. Puh-leaze.

MOG2410 November 16, 2011 at 4:36 pm

And I thought it was Newtard.

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