separation of church and state is for losers

Georgia Senator Wants All License Plates To Read ‘In God We Trust’

From now on all road accidents in Georgia will be the ones God approves.

If there is one thing wrong in the state of Georgia right now, it is that not every single license plate reads “In God We Trust.” In fact, the real problem is that you have to pay an entire dollar in order to get these words to appear like Jeebus Magick on your license plate. BUT DO NOT FEAR, the issue will soon be remedied by history’s most important legislative proposal, from one “state Senator Bill Heath,” who is here to make sure every vehicle owner in the state does not fall under the erroneous impression that they are allowed to be atheist or pagan while driving.

From the Atlanta Journal-Constitution:

Motorists can already purchase a sticker with [“In God We Trust”] for $1. The sticker can be placed over the usual county name decal Georgia license plates currently sport. Sen. Bill Heath, R-Bremen, filed the proposal to reverse that order. He proposed the motto would be the default on any license plates manufactured after July 1 but motorists could buy a county decal sticker to cover it if they wanted.

Crafty! You would have to be pretty heathen to want to stand in line at the DMV for seventy-two hours just to get a sticker to cover up your “In God We Trust” motto. Makes those folks easier to spot, etc. [AJC]

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  1. johnnymeatworth

    "Those Jesus Freaks
    Well, they're friendly but
    The shit they believe
    Has got their minds all shut."
    –Frank Zappa

    1. GunToting[Redacted]

      Maybe they were friendly when Frank (may he rest in the noodly embrace of FSM) was still around, but they seem to have turned mean in the past decade or so.

    2. HarryButtle

      I wish Frank was still around to comment on the depths of stupidity we are now plumbing. Dumb All Over ought to be the national anthem.

      1. Dashboard_Jesus

        unfortunately Frank's musical commentary is just as appropriate today as it was in 1978…sadly some fuckin' things NEVER change (and FUCK Billy Graham!)

      1. Crowe2011

        Would that be mandatory third party insurance? Nah, some whackjob told me all mandates are unconstitutional so I guess you don't. Mandatory religious plates though… how about that.

    1. SayItWithWookies

      Only if you believe enough. If you get into an accident then clearly your lack of faith is the reason.

    2. SorosBot

      According to some reprehensible and horrific country song (I know, "horrific country song" is redundant) by some American Idol hack my mom likes he apparently will; but I'd sooner trust in Superman saving me.

      1. Chichikovovich

        But I hear that the song is a two parter – the first half ends "God will save you from car wrecks….." [pause] Then the second half opens: "… if that's his will.
        "But if it's his will that you should die in the grass
        a lingering, tortured death in a snarl of steel
        with glass in your eye and a tailpipe up your ass,
        there's nothing you can do, there's no appeal.
        Seatbelts are for atheists…." ♫♪

        Hasn't been getting a lot of play on country stations just yet, but it's got "monster hit" written all over it.

        1. Biel_ze_Bubba

          ♪♫I don't care if it rains or freezes
          'Long as I got my plastic Jesus
          Riding on the dashboard of my car.
          Through my trials and tribulations
          And my travels through the nations
          With my plastic Jesus I'll go far! ♪♫♪♫

          (Country classic from way, way back.)
          Most famously performed by Paul Newman.

          1. tessiee

            "don't care if it rains or freezes
            'Long as I got my plastic Jesus
            Riding on the dashboard of my car"

            *sings along*
            I can go a hundred miles an hour
            Long as I got that almighty power
            Up there with my pair of fuzzy dice

    3. chicken_thief

      I'm just hoping the ossifer buys into the "Jesus was fucking with my water again!" defence if I get pulled over for a DUI.

    4. paris biltong

      The coming crash will actually show that God is not as powerful as Go(l)d(man) and its adopted son, Lord [*]fein.

    5. Callyson

      I know I say a prayer when I get behind the wheel in Los Angeles. Of course, half the time I'm praying that the schmuck who cut me off gets what's coming…

    6. tessiee

      "Will God or Jeebus keep me from getting in a car crash?"

      I think how it would work is you'd be raptured out of the car at the last possible second. :nod:

  2. Come here a minute

    If this passes, Georgians can instead cover it up with a "Georgia Sucks Ass" license plate frame.

    1. tessiee

      "Georgians can instead cover it up with a "Georgia Sucks Ass" license plate frame"

      These would not necessarily be limited to Georgians.

  3. Oblios_Cap

    He proposed the motto would be the default on any license plates manufactured after July 1 but motorists could buy a county decal sticker to cover it if they wanted.

    I'll bet that the decal is one of those snazzy "God is My Co-Pilot" bumper stickers.

    1. Dok-cupy Everything

      I think I need to get this bumper sticker: "God WAS my co-pilot, but we crashed in the mountains and I had to eat him."

    2. spends2much

      Driving in Virginia a few years ago, I saw a license plate holder that said "In Case of Rapture, This Car Will Be Unmanned." It was a Pinto, and I am not kidding.

      1. Chichikovovich

        Shouldn't that guy have his driver's licence taken away? As we do with people who have uncontrollable, unpredictable seizures, or uncontrollable narcolepsy? I really think for the health and security of non-Christians (or rather – people who aren't fundamentalist Christians of the dispensationalist variety) who will be left behind, the Rapture-awaiting fundamentalists in US state legislators (who are, I expect, a voting majority in at least all the southern ones) should forbid fundamentalist Christians to drive. Just a common-sense safety regulation.

    1. chicken_thief

      If you are sporting a rainbow sticker in GA, your balls gotta be so big that you'd have to wear a mumu so you could still live up to your name.

    2. Gleem_McShineys

      I am envisioning a new Georgia-centric business that centers around creating small stickers that are exactly the size of the license platem word GOD.

      Imagine the Wonkette fans' very own, with one stick figure in front of another bent over.


    3. Dashboard_Jesus

      why don't we just *compromise* and have Jeebus RIDING a purty unicorn OVER a rainbow (my preferred mode of travel, no matter what the Christ-tards say about me riding a dinosaur, that's just silly)

  4. Dok-cupy Everything

    This seems like an appropriate use of the legislature's power. Bet this guy is also in favor of small government that doesn't intrude on people's lives…and he wants to ban abortion, maybe?

    1. spends2much

      Yes, the only regulations a guy like this thinks the goverment should impose are what go in and come out of our orifices. And of course, love of the Jeebus.

  5. actor212

    So if'n Ah gits pulled over in Cobb County with one them there "plates," kin Ah claim Gawd tole me ta spid?

    1. chicken_thief

      I don't know much about Cobb County, but I must admit that I'm surprised they invented such a wonderful salad.

  6. OkieDokieDog

    Hopefully Sally Kern is too busy looking under beds for gay boogeymen to force this crap on the Okies.
    I'm still po'd at the Choose Life license plate, with no option to buy a Freedom of Choice one.

    1. tessiee

      "I'm still po'd at the Choose Life license plate, with no option to buy a Freedom of Choice one"

      It's probably just as well. Can you imagine how expensive it would be to have a pro-choice license plate and keep replacing the resultant key-scratched paint, slashed tires, broken windshield, etc.?

  7. Baconzgood

    So this guy gets paid to waste time? I mean I get paid to do that, but you know, I at least TRY to make it look like I'm busy.

  8. freakishlywrong

    It's a good thing the wingnut house voted on this very important measure to re-affirm that as the nation's motto to show the uppity Kenyan just who is boss. Now, wingnut idiots in Georgia can do the people's work and vote for this utter nonsense as well. I'm sure all the un-employed patriots and hover-rounders will applaud.

    1. DahBoner

      God just doesn't have any bold ideas anymore, like "Let there be light".

      So, he's reduced to appearing on toast in Nebraska or dog's butts…

      1. chicken_thief

        But His yanking of Republican's chains and telling them to run for Pres shows He still has His sense of humor.

    2. Blueb4sunrise

      You're all welcome. Great comments at the initial reddit post. My fave is :
      "No one shall enter heaven butt through me"

  9. Pragmatist2

    Well, I want all license plates to read "Put Down Your Goddamn Cell Phone!!!" but that ain't going to happen either.

    1. jus_wonderin

      I've got one. "I trust that you will be looking down, texting when the light turns green and won't move forward as a full minute ticks by making me catch the next red light".

    1. SorosBot

      Well a look at the Bible pretty conclusively shows he's not; the psycho even murdered the family of his most faithful worshiper then put him through years of torture just to win a bet.

      1. Chichikovovich

        OK, he had a few days where he was nursing a tequila hangover and he got a little cranky. Happens to everybody. But at least when a bunch of kids teased one of his prophets for being bald, he had the little hooligans eaten by a bear. The guy took care of his peeps.

    2. JustPixelz

      God works in mysterious ways. HA HA HA … just kidding. God obeys the laws of physics and probability, just like the rest of us. "In reproducible results we trust"

  10. Arken

    If I rear-end a guy with an 'In God We Trust' license plate, does that mean I'm not liable because of his lack of faith?

  11. El Pinche

    I like "The Inbred State" or "Redeeming qualities are R.E.M., B-52s, Goodie Mob, and Outkast, besides that we're just a bunch of redneck yahoos." (too long)

    1. LowProfileinGA

      James Brown & Allman Brothers, also, too.
      We need all the credit we can get with this shit happening every day.

  12. i_AM_ready

    Hold on a minute! Saint Ronnie Reagan said, "Trust, but verify."

    Has anyone verified that God gives a shit about Georgia?

    1. JustPixelz

      Georgia occupies a special place in God's heart. Next to the phone numbers of girls he doesn't want to call back, past due phone bills He hopes They will forget, and New Year's resolutions to really lose some weight.

  13. OccupyFnChicken

    So the over/under is that I get a plate with an infernal phrase demonstrating subservience to an invisible friend… and I can help patch potholes by covering that shit up with another sticker?


  14. EatsBabyDingos

    I am worried about the good conservatives, Mr. Heath. Look what happened in Indiana when they did the same thing, and the sponsor was suddenly found with a teenage rentboy. Just sayin'.

  15. freakishlywrong

    From the article: They are combining this shit with a Jesus-y, God-like law of forcing poor people on welfare to be drug tested. The irony is fucking scalding.

    1. OccupyFnChicken

      pfft! Everyone knows that there's only one Christian God anyway, and all those other people are just talkin' to space and carpets.

      1. SorosBot

        There's just one Christian god; the Father, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. Wait a second; can Christians count?

        1. Biff

          "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin, then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count…"

    2. tessiee

      "it should say "In the Christian GOD We Trust" – just to be sure there is no confusion with Allah or one of the other ones."

      Oh, you're so silly!
      Everyone KNOWS that those other myths are just myths, whereas OUR myth is REAL… I mean, it's not a myth at all, it's THE TRUTH.

      1. SayItWithWookies

        "Why don't y'all atheists just shut up and let us tell you what you believe in — that's what ya pay taxes fer, annyway, innit?"

      2. SorosBot

        Yes, we're supposed to be quiet and not complain about violations of our first amendment rights; to do otherwise is being too "in your face" and rude.

        1. Redhead

          To do otherwise is to infringe on the Christians' first amendment rights (and probably second and third and fourth amendment rights too. They'll find a way).

    1. user-of-owls

      I don't think a tax on being charming would raise much money in Georgia. What? Oh, I see. Still, the sentiment stands.

    2. Redhead

      Or being Muslim, theoretically, except I'm pretty sure all Georgia Muslims are not driving due to the being either in Gitmo or hiding.

  16. weejee

    Likely it would be 20 years at hard labor iffin' you printed your own AGNOSTIC decal and covered the offending mssg. with that. Lawsuits will be filed within 2 picoseconds tops if this frickin' thing passes.

    1. Chichikovovich

      Well, they have to start somewhere. It would cause too much of a fuss from the out-of-control political correctness types if they brought it back all at once.

      1. user-of-owls

        Were you around back in the heady days of Basil Marceaux? He was a gem. At the time, he was two standard deviants from the mean. Today he'd be Bachmann's campaign spokesman.

        We were all so innocent then.

        1. Chichikovovich

          I was a faithful reader of Wonkette back then, though not a commenter. I remember Basil "Bites" Marceaux fondly. Especially fondly when I realize that on a "Towering Inferno of Batshit Crazy" scale Bites would be in the saner half of the current Republican field.

          1. Dok-cupy Everything

            I don't get all this animus against the crazy anyway. The rent, as we all know, is indeed too high.

    1. jus_wonderin

      If we take out the spaces. "JesusFreakBackwaterShithole". And put it in a font that looks like it is scrawled on.

  17. user-of-owls

    Normally, I try to avoid apostasy on Wednesdays, but doesn't it strike you that someone who will get in any old stranger's car for $1 is just a little, you know, slutty?

  18. mavenmaven

    I think those primitives have a myth that it prevents accidents resulting from their frequent over-ingestion of alcohol.

  19. GregComlish


    1. user-of-owls

      Isn't that sort of like saying, "I only have a little Ebola" or "Sure, it was a genocide but not a really big one"?

      1. Oblios_Cap

        "At least we're not South Carolina, Arizona, Alabama or Texas" really is kinda of a shitty motto for a state to have.

    2. OccupyFnChicken

      ↑Tennessee. "We're a favorite punching bag of Ken Layne," I tell my friends… "because some of us do some pretty stupid things."

      1. elviouslyqueer

        Hmph, we Mississippians don't even rate as a punching bag. I think Ken just feels sorry for us since our biggest exports are poverty, stupidity, and obesity.

        1. jus_wonderin

          The upside is that you can get all of those by cultivating one crop. Hey, I am originally from Louisiana. I know from which I speak. Though, I'd add graft to our homegrown crops.

    3. Terry

      According to the Florida DHSMV website, you already HAVE a plate that says In God We Trust:

      Other options include, but are not limited to:

      Choose Life
      Family First (Does this support the Fundies or the Mafia? Just askin')
      Family Values
      Florida Golf Capitol of the World (Scotland is annoyed over this)

      1. elviouslyqueer

        Oh of course. Because "Choose Choice," "Gay is Good," or "Allah Akbar" plates are too far outside the mainstream and "controversial" to be okayed by Florida legislators.

  20. FakaktaSouth

    Oh thank Christ this is being handled. Everywhere I look down here I wonder WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW??? Stuck to the bumper sounds about right.

    1. user-of-owls

      I don't know where this God guy is, but I sure as hell know that Jesus isn't hanging around Alabama anymore.

    2. jus_wonderin

      "Stuck to the bumper sounds about right"

      You'd think God would have faster relexes or someone would have warned him.

      "God! Watch out! Car!!!"

  21. Indiepalin

    If he loves God so much, why isn't he introducing a bill to put Jesus' face on Mt. Rushmore replacing Ben Franklin?

  22. Baconzgood

    I trusted God once. We were doing that falling back exercise in couples therapy. Needless to say I didn't think it as funny as God.

  23. PuckStopsHere

    Mandatory dashboard Jesuses!!!

    "Hit a tree, hit a ditch, plastic Jesus, he don't bitch. Plastic Jesus on the dashboard of my car…"

  24. elviouslyqueer

    Linda Sosebee's bucolic image of rolling fields framed with peaches won a design contest for Georgia's newest license tag.

    Other rejected "bucolic" images included artistic renderings of a traffic jam on I-285 and a Klan rally at Stone Mountain.

  25. fartknocker

    Senator Heath's also sponsored lots of bills to help the people in GA including English only driver's license testing, celebrating Confederate History month, and prohibiting hunting with guns if you're under the influence. I'm sure this new $1.00 alternate license plate tag will really stimulate the GA economy.

    1. Mahousu

      Wait a sec – "prohibiting hunting with guns if you're under the influence"? Shouldn't that have been requiring hunting with guns if you're under the influence?

    2. Chichikovovich

      I can't fault him for wanting more attention paid to Confederate history. I myself just can't hear enough about Sherman's march to the sea and the burning of Atlanta.

  26. Native_of_SL_UT

    I'm all for this idea as long as they also make seat belts and airbags illegal and let God do the job of keeping these people alive in an accident.

  27. SayItWithWookies

    I'm just glad I don't live in Georgia, because I won't be wasting the rest of my day coming up with a sticker that says "I'd rather be literate."

  28. x111e7thst

    "In God we trust, all others pay cash" as the more literate among the tranny hookers on the old 42nd St used to tell me.

    1. Infrogmation

      "Georgia" "ABC" "12345" "In God We Trust" — everything the members of the Georgia legislature learned in school all on one license plate!

      Numbers more than five they call "whole messa".

    1. jus_wonderin

      "Real Men Love Jesus…from behind".

      Sorry, my biz partners used to say that. Not that that should impell me to share it, but I did. So I will burn in Hell now.

  29. slowhansolo

    What? You guys didn't know this is a Xtian nation? Just ask the genteel old ladies in the local garden club who like to erect nativity scenes on city land. They'll set you straight.

    And if you should be so bold as to seek equal space for your atheist banner, the city will ban all such displays on public land and move the crèche 20 feet to one of local churches who take our space and pay no taxes while telling the sheep how to vote…

    Never piss off the genteel old ladies, is the message.

  30. thefrontpage

    What causes actual politicians to forget the separation of church and state, that not everyone believes in God, that many people want religion out of government, that many people want religion to be strictly private, that many people support a separation of church and state, and that religious statements should not appear anywhere on any government building, office, facility, fort, base, sticker, license plate, or anything else? Separation of church and state is one of the basic principles that this country was founded on, and not everyone believes in God or any god, for that matter. Sorry to be serious, but, gawd, what the hell is wrong with some of these people out there?

    1. Dok-cupy Everything

      They'll also remind you, as if it were a winning line of reasoning, that the words "separation of church and state" do not appear in the Constitution, so there. For fun, reply by asking where the Bible mentions America…

  31. Redhead

    Well I'm glad they trust in SOMEONE, since they sure don't trust in women down there, to do anything, least of all actually carry a baby to term without intentionally causing an accidental miscarriage.

  32. neiltheblaze

    Well, I'm glad they're seeing to all the important issues rather than worrying about the crops that rotted in the fields this year.

  33. Biff

    Needz moar Gog and Magog.
    I had a dental hygienist that I really liked until she flipped out and saw God and moved to Georgia to be near some charismatic preacher. Strong pull, for some…

  34. owhatever

    God has done so well for Georgia up to now. Trust on your license plate, and He will make the future as glorious as the past.

  35. e_z

    Hey you Georgian Goober, you might want to consult Wooley v. Maynard, 430 U.S. 705 to see how the Supremes ruled on George Maynard's Fuck You to New Hampshire.

    EFD this country pays homage to the Coriolis effect, keeping up with the morons makes me dizzy.

  36. chascates

    From the American Family Association's wonderful Bryan Fischer (RightWingWatch):
    So what the Scriptures are anxious to say [is] it's far more important that we be spiritually strong as a nation than that we be militarily strong. It's not enough to be militarily strong. If we are militarily strong but are spiritually weak as a nation, we are going to go down.
    And that's why it's critical, I believe, to have a Commander-In-Chief who is a Christian-In-Chief first and then is our Commander-In-Chief. Absolutely critical that we have a man who is Commander-In-Chief who sits in the Oval Office who has a personal relationship with the God of the Bible – not the God of the Book of Mormon, not the God of the Quran, but the God of the Old and New Testaments.

      1. chascates

        You need the Old Testament because that has the 'kill teh gayz' parts. Before God got religion which led to the New Testament.

  37. tessiee

    "He proposed the motto would be the default on any license plates"

    Because if someone had to pay a whole dollar (i.e., a week's wages in Georgia) for a Jebus sticker, then the devil worshipping atheists are *forcing their agenda* down the throats of good God-fearing christopaths, but if someone has to pay a dollar to *cover up* the Jebus slogan, that's TOTALLY DIFFERENT and not forcing beliefs on anyone or anything like that and it's so ridiculous to even compare them, and, uh, so there.
    *scuffs toe of shoe on ground*
    *whistles nonchalantly*

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