Returned dildo Karl Rove caught a case of one of these human microphones that are going around, this time courtesy of some rather mouthy students at Johns Hopkins University in Baltimore. Skip the first boring 1:30 and then marvel as Rove asks them, “Who gave you the right to occupy America? Nobody!” If you ignore the shoutiest students being black-bagged stage right and listen hard enough, you can just make out the wailing of an Iraqi orphan in the background.

UPDATE: It appears this mic check was officially courtesy of the mouthy Occupy Baltimore, and not (entirely?) Hopkins students. Which we guess makes the students the people… clapping?


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  • nounverb911

    Too bad he didn't get body checked by some out of work ice hockey enforcer.

    • poncho_pilot

      "here's Sub-Zero. now, just plain zero."

  • BarackMyWorld

    I was trying to figure out just what the hell he was rambling on about, but it was getting boring so the interruption provided a welcome distraction.

    • BerkeleyBear

      How the debt he fucking masterminded is this huge percentage of GDP once Obama actually put the wars and interest for them on budget, from what I could gather. Douchebag acting douchy and douchy right wing studentssupport him telling people to "shut the hell up" and "wait for the Q&A period"

  • nounverb911
    • kaiamursi

      Thanks! I'd never heard the term lobster shift before, ha. Yes? Sort of? Ask again later? No schedule so far.

  • Fare la Volpe

    Karl's head looks like a big bloated balloon you want to pop with a pin.

    Or an M-80. I always get those two confused.

    • flamingpdog

      And yet he's so far away that he looks tiny enough to squash with your thumb.
      Mmmmm, squaaash.

      • DaRooster

        It would be great to be all, "I'm crushing your head… I'm crushing your head."… and among the few that need this literally…

      • Biff

        And ironically, squash no longer qualifies as a vegetable in school lunches.

  • coolhandnuke

    John Waters described Baltimore "as the belly button of the universe that attracts all the lint." You can now add one large stinking turd to the lint.

    • WunkRocker

      A turd blossoms in Bahdimore.

  • Negropolis

    If you ignore the shoutiest students being black-bagged stage right and listen hard enough, you can just make out the wailing of an Iraqi orphan in the background.

    Oh, that was good. That was real good. I like the cut of your jib, the one you call "Kaia Mursi".

    • kaiamursi

      Thanks! Though I should have guessed the shouters probably weren't students….

  • Buzz Feedback

    I haven't seen anybody hold an audience like that since Randy Watson and Sexual Chocolate.

  • Negropolis

    Karl Rove, STFU, you murderous bastard. For real. That is all.

    This is what democracy looks like. Deal with it.

    Needz more shoe throwing.

  • #OWS was a significant part of Rove's audience. The whacked out losers at Johns Hopkins who invited him weren't able to organize much of a crowd.

  • i_AM_ready

    I love these Republicans who come to Washington on the coattails of a President whose entire platform is "I hate government, and Washington is the source of all evil." The President eventually finishes his term and goes home, but the lackeys keep hanging around, stinkin' up Washington as everyone wonders, "Didn't you used to work for someone famous, and why are you still here?"

    Reagan left DC 22 years ago and his Karl Rove, Ed Meese, is still living in McLean VA, making the rounds, giving speeches, writing op-eds, and apparently enjoying life inside the Beltway.

  • Nostrildamus

    Who gave you the right to occupy America?

    Nothing you'd've heard of Karl. It goes like this:

    "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances."

    • WootInTarnation

      Yeah, the fucking nerve of that question: "Who gave you the right to occupy America?" If he said that to my face, I'd bitch-slap him so hard his secret piercings would pop out. Then toss him (or bean him) with a highlighted copy of the constitution.

      Yo, Karl, who gave you the right to further destroy democracy in the US? To lie, distort truth, wheedle and connive to get into The White House an easily-manipulated dummeh who will do anything you requests? To use your relationship with the shrubby POTUS to enact laws that deny constitutional rights of every US citizen?

      His voice squeaks in panic as he spontaneously pisses himself. He lacks the ability and courage to interact with or control a crowd that isn't full of paid dummies.

      Deploy typical Roveian tactic: redefine a word. "If you were courageous you'd sit in your seats quietly until the bell rings, at which point, I will dismiss you (after the cops have taken down all your names.)" In other words, you're courageous if you remain docile, respect protocol and WAIT YOUR TURN in the way the authority demands.

      Christ, this guy needs a good punch in the neck and a jab of a nightstick in his kidneys. What a fucking coward.

  • Callyson

    Skip the first boring 1:30
    Dammit, I clicked on the video before reading that. Next time I'll read the warnings first. (Actually, go to 1:46 for the good stuff.)

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Rove has a point, as everyone knows that only the Supreme Court can give you the right to occupy America, at least for four years.

  • Redhead

    Well who gave YOU the right to inhabit anywhere, huh Mr. Fancypants Rove?

    Oh, that's right, Satan (your father). My bad.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba


  • gullywompr

    The phrase "Occupy Karl Rove" went through my head, but then all sorts of creepy associations with Being John Malkovich followed, and the whole thing was just too terrible.

    • ChuckieJesus

      Occupy KKKarl Rove like a Tauntaun carcass. For the winter.

  • Guppy

    Since we hold as self-evident the truth that we were endowed by our Creator with certain inalienable rights, does this mean Rove just blasphemed?

    • MzNicky

      Karl Rove IS a blaspheme. Er, blasphemy.

  • datateday

    With "How ignorant do you think you are?" I don't think the clip's done yet. Although, I have learned that 'far away' Karl Rove is just as sinister and vile as 'close enough' Karl Rove.

  • I dig this. Thank you.

  • Guppy

    You've got a spurious space on the end of the Sun URL.

    • kaiamursi

      Fixed, thanks.

  • AddHomonym

    Really turning on the charm there, Karl.

  • Crowe2011

    "Why don't you wait til the Q&A" Rove asks, while motioning security to eject the protestors before the Q&A. There should be a rule that when a President's second term ends his key mandarins are humanely destroyed. Why must America still endure the malign influence of Karl Rove?

  • OkieDokieDog

    Watch out for Karma, Mr. Rove. Just ask Lee Atwater.

  • flamingpdog

    May God have Mursi on Karl Rove's ……. soul?

    • poncho_pilot


  • Billyspudd

    What a wee tiny dick, is Karl Rove; A murdering liar, traitor, unregistered agent of Israel, thieving, cliched-platitude vomiting, toady of the arrogant, ignorant robber barons. The only place his head should ever be seen is on a pike ensconced to a pillar on Wall St.

  • Of course any sanction of Rove, from mic checking to treason convictions, should be applauded. But it seems like the peoples mic thing could have made a more damning case against Rove.

    Oh yeah, end corporate personhood.

  • Dok-cupy Everything

    Odious ratfucker gets ratfucked.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Karl, you're supposed to kick those rabble out before they're allowed in to your campaign events, remember? If you're upset that people who rightly reject everything you stand for as hostile to democracy, you have nobody to blame but your own shoddily-practiced gestapo tactics.

  • Man tits or GTFO, Karl.

  • "We are the 99%!" Rove: "No you're not. You're all PreMed.."

  • poncho_pilot

    anyway, as my wife said when we were watching Walking Dead, "what kind of parent names their kid Karl?"

    (apologies to any Karls or Carls out there who aren't scumbags like Rove.)

    • Numbat_Dundee

      The Marx family.

  • Numbat_Dundee

    Karl Rove believes in freedom of speech. He also believes in cluster bombs and tear gas and lying a lot and raising money from very rich people and spending some of that money (he takes his share) to convince people to vote for endless war and having their living standards reduced because…look there's a gay person getting married! Anyways, if those nasty protestors would stop talking over him and infringing his First Amendment rights he would explain why Iraqis and Afghanis needed to be bombed into the stone age in order to enjoy the First Amendement rights currently being enjoyed by so many of America's citizens, albeit ENHANCED by tear gas, and sound cannon and mace and capiscum spray and other chemical agents that Thomas Jefferson invented FOR LIBERTY*.
    Also torture is good and so is denying the vote to black people, and when you don't let me explain why this is so you are an enemy to liberty and deserve to be maced (or shot if you're black or exploded if you're Muslim).
    *Maybe it was Ben Franklin – he liked inventing things.

  • extreme_left

    Good to see War slug Rove getting a taste of what is to come.

    In Australia we are getting Rove redux China, the gears of war are turning, greased by the excrement of Rove's forehead

  • freakishlywrong

    If I knew what cockles were, this warmed them. It's hard to believe this odious, lying, pernicious fuck can draw an audience anywhere, much less one that doesn't want to run him out of town.

    • Chichikovovich

      Rove is quite the cocklesucker.

    • DaRooster

      Herman Cain knows all about cockles… he tries to get women to… well…

  • freddymcmurray

    good. fuck that pigfucker.

  • MzNicky

    Wow. KR gets bully-shouty and super-testy pretty damn quick, don't he? By the end of the video he's sputtering "how arrogant and presumptuous do you think you are?"

    We know you are, Turd Blossom, but what are we?

  • JackDempsey1

    While it's gratifying to watch a 1/4-inch scale Karl Rove grow increasingly frustrated, the repetitive chanting was a bit annoying, like listening to verses 2-7 of "Happy Birthday." Blow out the candles, already.

  • Chichikovovich

    Hey, Karl. In addition to all the other reasons we have the right to occupy America (we're citizens, we live here, we are endowed by our Creator with certain rights, among them the right not to have to put up with flaming douchebags,…) there is preemptive self-defense against future aggression. Remember – the one the guy who named you Turdblossom used to justify occupying Iraq?

    Also: Aren't you supposed to be in jail right now? Getting the Bradley Manning treatment for leaking the name of an active CIA agent?

  • Oh, my, what a bunch of pathetic, goody goody, turd munching little Republican lickspittles they have at Johns Hopkins University.
    That audience (not the OWS people, the others) made me lose faith in the future, a little bit.

    • Negropolis

      Yeah, no shit. I don't care if most of the folks were not students (though, by the looks of it, it looks like most of them are). Couldn't they find more students on a college campus to drown that overgrown human abortion on stage?

    • El Pinche

      Just wait until they graduate, can't find a job, and have no health insurance under President Mittens.

  • Can't he feel the love?

  • Negropolis

    That this man hasn't found himself in prison is either a credit to his survival skills or the proof against the existence of god. Hell, maybe it's both.

  • DahBoner

    Who gave you the right to occupy America?

    I got mine by sending in a coupon in the back of a Spiderman comic book…

    • jus_wonderin

      I took the drawing test. I was able to accurately reproduce in pencil the illustration of a Wall Street type pissing on the poor.

  • “It’s the most fun you can have on a Tuesday night in Baltimore.”*
    *Some student in the crowd.

    • DahBoner

      With clothes on?

    • Negropolis

      That was the funniest part of the video. lol

  • Rove calls them presumptuous and arrogant, well, I guess he is the expert on such things.

  • smitallica

    Wow. What a scintillating speaker.

    Has a more punchable person ever walked the earth?

    • MOG2410


  • DaRooster

    It is hard to believe that anyone would go to a Karl Rove concert for reasons other than to give him hell… since he deserves it.

  • Toomush_Infer

    I like this idea of inviting asshats to speak at universities, just to use the occasion to torment them… short of Madame Guillotine, lets have more of it…

  • El Pinche

    Where are the SEIU/ACORN thugs when you really need them?

  • MOG2410

    Seriously, what gives them the right????? Please see "Civics 101".

  • Barrelhse

    In my 61 years I have never punched anyone. Karl makes me feel that this record is somehow blemished.

  • BZ1

    who's the buffoon again?

  • jus_wonderin

    Kick him in the nutz already!

  • friendlyskies

    While I loath Rove and love Occupy, I think the mic check strategery might need to be tweaked. Is it just me, or is it getting a little bit tedious (moar liek Teadious, amirite)? Couldn't they shorten their speeches to Rovian soundbytes, for the ADD US public? Brevity being the soul of wit and all that.

    That said – Nice job, Occupy Baltimore!

    • Madam Killjoy

      I like the People's Mic – but I think you're right that it could be tweaked – maybe use it to loudly proclaim a couple of criminal charges against (insert name of random "white collar" and/or war criminal) and then just chant "criminal, criminal, criminal" – I don't know – get the idea in peoples' heads that this movement is about exposing corruption and demanding justice.

    • Negropolis

      I like the people's mic because it takes so long. The tactic either makes you sit and listen to the protestors or overreact and try to shout them down. Either way, the people's mic wins.

  • BZ1

    I love how missy gets all snippy …

  • snoopyfan2010

    This "person" is coming to my neck of the woods later this month. I fear that noone here will have the courage to do that to him. :(

  • meatlofer

    I wish old Dick C. would take that fucker, quail hunting!

  • Mumbly_Occupado

    Who gave you the right to occupy America?

    Well according to Republicans… God?

  • ChrisM2011

    Rove: Do you believe in free speech?… then shut up!" Priceless!

  • Barrelhse

    He hates us for our Freedom.

    • Madam Killjoy


  • bfddad

    You know, it kind of reminds me of Frederic March when he melts down at the end of 'Inherit the Wind.' Sadly though, Rove isn't taken away.

  • ttommyunger

    SOMEBODY needs a good blowjob; yes, you, Mr. Crankypants! Marcus! Oh Maaaaarcus!

    • Barrelhse

      Somebody needs a good blowjob- On your knees, Karl!

      • ttommyunger

        But the problem is: you know he'd like it.

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