John Boehner probably broke down in sobs the last time he realized his spam filter was accidentally eating up all his favorite tanning salon offers from Groupon, but he sure as hell couldn’t be bothered to share a single one of his tears with Gabrielle Giffords while she recovered in Texas:
[Giffords's husband] Mark Kelly writes that Boehner (R-Ohio) didn’t take an opportunity to visit Giffords when he was in Houston for a basketball game and added that all they heard from the speaker after the shooting was “a simple get-well card.”
Kelly noted that in April Boehner was in Houston for the NCAA Final Four Tournament while Giffords was at a rehabilitation center there following the Jan. 8th assassination attempt on her life.
[The Hill]
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"all they heard from the speaker after the shooting was “a simple get-well card."
And Boner staffed that out.
Same as he did when Jeff Flake got a cold. Bipartisanship!
Subtlest Peter Hoekstra yet.
Probably has a signing machine like Rumsfeld.
If Gaby wanted Boner to visit, then she should have rehabbed on a golf course.
I believe you meant "cocktail lounge."
Bar Kart.
Tanning salon would work too.
Do tabbing salons have bars?
I'm surprised he wasn't admitted to the same ER with ocular trauma after witnessing that Butler/UCONN abomination.
Hospitals are non smoking
Nor are they big on fresh citrus.
It could be worse: she could have been forced to apologize to Boehner for getting in the way of his shotgun.
I mean, the bullet.
Boener was too busy "horsing around" with the players, as Jerry Sandusky would describe it.
Good thing! A visit from Boehner would have set her back 6 months.
Boehner can only fake so many tears. Maybe if a camera crew had been there he could have mustered up a few for her.
According to Hank Williams Jr., that would be like Hitler visiting Bergen-Belsen.
Okay, give Boehner a break. She could not talk at that time and would not have been able to communicate the required adulation that is prerequisite for the Speaker of the House. And, I heard she was relearning her colors and his shade of whatever the fuck it is would have frightened her.
In other news, Herman Cain did visit and promptly pushed her head toward his crotch.
In other news, Herman Cain did visit and promptly pushed her head toward his crotch.
Worst skull fuck ever.
(I am mildly disgusted with myself for this tasteless comment, welcome to Wonkette ye of gentle heart.)
You are going to hell for making that comment. I am going to hell for laughing at it.
Alas, me too.
And Jerry Sandusky visited – but was kicked out of the pediatrics ward.
That comment is an example of why I hang around here at Wonkette. Fuckin' 'ell.
Oh, who are you kidding? You know we love it. I regret that I have only one thumb to give your tasteless comment.
Oh, just so full of upfistable black win
Well I'm sending her a card saying if things don't work out with the bald astronaut dude, I'll be hers any time.
Or even if things do work out, cause, y'know, those astronauts can be in space a looong time wink, wink.
we'd have to have a functional space program that actually leaves the Earth…
now i'm doubly sad.
It's not Boehner's fault, really — he's just so darn focused on job creation that everything else just slips his mind.
Focused like a laser, he is. A bright, orange laser.
Focused like O.J. looking for the real killer.
Funny, that took place on a golf course, too.
That's why he was at a college basketball game. To see the jobs they could do.
That's blood orange libel!
Boehner was just heroically trying to create more jobs for the depressed Pre-Printed Greeting Card industry.
At least Boehner didn't pronounce her dead like the librul media did!
(And Fox News was only reporting that everyone else was pronouncing her dead, not that she was actually dead.)
Giving a whole new meaning to "We report – you decide."
They ought to skin the Boner, he'd make a fuck sight more use as a throw rug than as a human being. Granted, the shade of it would clash with any decor that wasn't sixties psychedelia…..
School Buses need rugs too.
Why yes, the classic orange (getting) shagged rug.
i think they should zest him.
Boner Zest. sounds like something i'd see for sale at a convenience store.
File this under "N" for "Not Surprising."
In fairness to Boehner, nationally-known Republicans don't have the greatest track record of behaving tactfully when visiting hospitalized women recovering from life-threatening conditions.
change "nationally-known Republicans" to the even-more-specific "Republican Speakers of the House" and the sentence still holds.
Or "Future Republican Senators/Prez Candidates That Just Got Home From Spending Over Five Years in the Hanoi Hilton Only to Find His Formerly Hot Wife Now Fat and Fucked Up From Being in a Bad Car Wreck." Though that doesn't really roll off the tongue too smoothly.
Had he visited the site, he'd FaceTime with former Senator Majority Leader, Dr. Bill Frist and have her diagnose her viability. With Shiavo they wanted to keep her alive through forced feeding. With Gabby, I think they'd argue to free up her spot in Congress for the good of job creation.
I bet it was one of those free e-cards that are free because the recipient has to wade through a course of ads. Boehner didn't care that Gabby didn't need Cialis at the time.
Boehner (R-Ohio) didn’t take an opportunity to visit Giffords when he was in Houston
And Gabby is getting better. Coincidence?
With all due respect to those classy Hill commenters with their "Wah wah wah he didn't come to visit me" and "Typical Dems whining" (especially the ones who call Mark Kelly a self-serving egotist who "blasted off into space while his wife was recovering from a gunshot wound"), I say Fuck You.
I watched that last night. It was great. Really heartwarming how they get along and how he is taking care of her. I pray she can fully recover and take her seat again.
Of course Boehner did not visit Giffords in the hospital. They tend to not serve booze there and prohibit smoking.
Orange you glad Boehner didn't visit ya? I would be.
The real bitch of it is that everybody knows that Boehner tears have healing powers.
It is like the morning dew on a sleeping unicorn.
Or cooes of an innocent baby captured and given form then sprinkled in the pure, whispy clouds where an angel might rest.
Edit: Fuck that shit. It's like the acid that drips from a chest buster as it screams off to hide and mature in the bowels of the Nostromo.
Then the fucker ought to be crying on the economy instead of diddling himself.
Empathy? You were expecting empathy? Might I remind you, the man is a REPUBLICAN, for fucks sake.
Leadership.
Well he was probably hoping she wouldn't make it back and he could have a teatard elected to that seat. She was lucky she a get well card.
Between the amount of alcohol evaporating off him and the residual toxic fumes from smoking continuously, would a hospital let him in to visit an ICU or a rehab facility? You can probably get a good contact buzz just from the reek of him from fifteen feet away, and if you get closer than five feet for prolonged periods of time, you probably have to get a yearly MRI to make sure that the tumors haven't started growing yet.
So, it would put me in the perfect buzz to rip his head off if I could get in the same room?
Put me there.
Did Gabby's hospital room contain either a wet bar or a golf course? Then of course Boner went nowhere near it.
What does this "Mark Kelly" dude know about anything?
A real sweetheart.
Schmuck.
No, putz.
Boehner just didn't want to cry in front of the astronaut. He's never gotten over the time John Glenn looked at him in disgust during a joint session of Congress.
To be fair to Speaker Boehner, Congresswoman Giffords doesn't come close to driving the lane like the 2011 Big East and NCAA tournament champion Connecticut Huskies' Kemba Walker.
If Bonehead was married to her he could have done the right (Republican) thing and divorce her while she was in a comma.
Òr at least a semi-colon.
Please don't quote me on that.
Seriously, why would she want that POS to visit her in the first place?
To be fair, I hate visiting people in the hospital, too. Almost as bad as paying a visit to the nursing home.
But if he had gone and visited her, does anyone here really think that it would have been viewed as a sincere gesture? I don't/wouldn't have.
Hey Gabby, Orange you glad that Boner didn't visit?
Gimme a B for bumbling
Gimme an O for orange
Gimme an N for neglectful
Gimme an E for excerebrose
Gimme an R for Rethug
What's that spell? BONER
What's that spell? BONER
What's that spell? BONER
Giant libtarded intertube wave commences ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
John McCain would faithfully visit Morris Udall when he was dying of Parkinson's Disease in a nursing home in DC, when nobody else was visiting.
John Boner could not have visited Gabby, though. Think about it. It would have been newsworthy. He couldn't have made a quiet, private visit. And she was a brain damaged lady who could have reacted in some crazy, disinhibited way by, say, howling in alarm or pummeling him or shrieking in anger. John is a sensitive guy. He would have bawled for days. And the liberally biased blamestream media would have had a field day.
I'm sure Eric Cantor and Paul Ryan, the "young guns." have visited Rep. Giffords.
Shit, that's nothing. Does anybody remember any picture of Bush at any soldier's funeral?
She's got a vagina. He's not interested.
Christ, just imagine waking up from a coma and seeing that blubbing, orange, nicotine-flavoured turd looking at you.
I am. And LMFAO, too. At your turn of phrase, not the thought of that revolting, depraved mug.
I wouldn't go back to the scene of the crime I knew I was a moral accessory to, either…
Consider it a kindness, Gabby.
So, in Arizona, Hallmark sells "Sorry About Your Gunshot Wound" cards?
Boehner has never gotten over the disappointment of not being able to attend her funeral. He had a suit and american flag pin already picked out, and his wife had already loaded his suitcase full of cigarettes.
"Mean Jerk John Boehner Never Visited Injured Gabby Giffords." Which has to be a relief for Gabby and her family.
John Boehner ,and it does spell BONER. Looks like a Umba-Lumba. The party of the rich,by the rich,and for the rich. I knew as a kid growing up in the 80's when the Republicans under Reagan claimed that Ketchup was a vegetable in the school lunch program.# 1 ketchup is made from tomatoes. #2 Tomatoes are a fruit. Why do the Republicans always go after women ,and children?
Why are there so many ABC's on FoxNews ? ( Angry,Blond ,C@NT's ) They are like the cheer- leading squad from a Hitler rally ! And I wonder if Ann Coulter & Sean Hannity had a baby if it would be the Anti-Christ ? FoX News Rupert Murdoc's goon's.
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