High five the Stick.Barack Obama is campaigning, we guess in Asia? And he told the editors of Univision News that his re-election strategy doesn’t require any nasty ads or name-calling. “We may just run clips of the Republican debates verbatim,” he told the Spanish-language network. “We won’t even comment on them, we’ll just run those in a loop.” No wonder the liberals are so depressed. Barack Obama will apparently be re-elected by vaguely reminding voters of the Republicans’ existence.

We picked this up on the Zorabet Tumblr, and it’s kind of devastating:

Many political observers believe that drawing a sharp contrast with Republicans will require Obama to go negative, but the president said he won’t have to use too harsh a tone to accomplish that.

“I don’t think it requires us to go negative in the sense of us running a bunch of ads that are false, or character assassinations,” Obama told Univision News. “It will be based on facts … We may just run clips of the Republican debates verbatim. We won’t even comment on them, we’ll just run those in a loop on Univision and Telemundo, and people can make up their own minds.”

Oh, jeez, wait, so this is just for the Latino vote? Right, because about 50% of white Americans are still dingbat idiots. [Zorabet Tumblr via Soup Soup]

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  • Sorry, Barry, but verbatim, while not exactly English, ain't Spanish either. Even on UniMundo.

    Except maybe here in Baja Nebraska, where the accepted translation of bracero is target.

    • Guppy

      "Baja Nebraska"


      Ooh, can I start calling Florida "Baja Alabama?"

    • BaldarTFlagass

      I thought it was "target, but only after he's done picking my tomatoes and I've stiffed him for his pay."

    • What do you mean, verbatim's not English? Is, too.

  • x111e7thst

    If only the Republican candidates had used teleprompters, or at least written shit down on their hands, they would not find themselves in this situation.

  • Lascauxcaveman

    I think he should add a little crude MS Paint sloppy drool cumming out of the corners of their mouths on those verbatim video clips. That would be kinda funny. Farm it out to the Taiwanese animators; you know they'd do it dirt cheap.

  • Or the Republicans could save everyone a ton of money and confusion and just concede the thing tonight.

    • NellCote71

      But what would we do for entertainment during rerun season? And think of the poor comedians. You are obviously a jobz killer not a maker.

      • BerkeleyBear

        Don't forget all the leeches (campaign managers, consultants, etc.) who need care and feeding. Who will think of the Mark Penns of the world? (Seriously, who, because it sure as shit won't be me).

    • Goodness knows, Bill Kristol already has.

  • Barry's live action version of Loony Toons will not be as amusing as its animated version with lowlights from:
    Pepe le Cain!
    Mittens Mormoni Coyote Eighth Wit
    Esmeralda Bachmann the Crazy Bitch Fundamentalist
    Carl E. Perry the Forgetful Wolf
    Newt "I'm hwunting Diamonds" Fudd
    Sylvester Santorum

    • CZL

      Sufferin' semenfroth!

    • BerkeleyBear

      With special appearances by John "Human Carrot" Boehner and Paul "which way did my plan go" Ryan.

  • For some reason, I find myself wanting better broadband. Verbatim.

    • chascates

      All the better to view Kortney with.

    • flamingpdog

      The Better Broad Band would be a good name for Herb Cain's traveling muscial group.
      Herb ate 'em.

  • nounverb911

    I just love the new Cain brain fart on Libya, it just speaks for itself.

  • nounverb911

    "Got All This Stuff Twirling Around In My Head"
    –Herman Cain (On Libya).

    • Guppy

      Didn't Qadaffi spend a few decades saying the same thing? Wrote a book about it?

      • flamingpdog


    • All those years of twirling pizza.

  • tihond

    If the Republicans complain about this tactic, Obama will replace the whitehouse website with a giant "U Mad" gif,

    • Considering we already have the Herman Cain Coolface ad, this wouldn't be too far off the mark.

      u jelly, GOP?

    • Y U So Mad Tho?

  • *sniff

    I remember when facts used to work among native English-speakers.

  • Callyson

    “I don’t think it requires us to go negative in the sense of us running a bunch of ads that are false, or character assassinations,” Obama told Univision News. “It will be based on facts"
    Ronald Reagan, 1988:
    "Facts are stupid things."
    Whoever gets the GOP nomination, 2012:
    "Facts are false, negative character assassinations!"

    • OneDollarJuana

      The Universal Republican Disclaimer (TURD):

      "Not Intended to be a Factual Statement"

  • chascates

    I'd be careful about that, Mr. President. Half of the population fears you as a extreme leftest, black nationalist/African nationalist Socialist/Communist Nazi. Hearing the same accusations from the Clown College of the Grand Old Party will just reaffirm their right-wing noise machine indoctrination.

  • coolhandnuke

    Verbatim…that's crazy talk.
    More like Herbatim, Newtatim, Mittatim, Batshitcrazybitchatim. they are a rather lumpy, doughy, flaccid lot. Except for the batshitcrazybitch, she subsists on holy water and cream of mushroom soup.

    • Santorumim? Santorim? Hm.

      • Guppy

        That sounds like an ancient Roman building set aside for gay sex orgies.

  • rocktonsam

    needz moar telepromterz

  • Limeylizzie

    I still love our Hopey and so, apparently does 10 Downing Street's cat.

    • fuflans

      cause yeah i would be happy to be stroked by barack obama.

      • BaldarTFlagass

        Hell, even that honey badger/cat mutant critter in the pic at top is looking like he's gonna dig it.

    • BerkeleyBear

      First crying babies, now male averse tomcats. All in between capping OBL, fostering democracy all over the world, winning a Nobel without even trying and keeping this country from falling apart despite its best efforts at collectively losing its mind.

      My President is just so smooooth. I do declare, if I was Lindsey Graham I do believe I would just swoon in his presence.

  • BarackMyWorld

    "That ad is out of context!" said the Republican nominee.

    • Redhead

      Gotcha questions from the Gotcha media!!!!! CAMPAIGN AD QUOTE LIBEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Making a bloopers reel out of the gazillion GOP debates would be like shooting fish in a barrel. It's a junior-high level project. What would be a challenge is to find 30 seconds' worth of material that came across as reasonable and informed.

    • Chichikovovich

      Fer shoor. It's really kind of unsporting of him to choose this strategy, if you ask me. At the very least, if he's going to go that road, he should spot them a couple of touchdowns.

      • The last thing Democrats need to do is be "sporting." Being "sporting" died on Inauguration Day in 2009.

        • MOG2410


    • memzilla

      Churls Gone Wild!

  • El Pinche


    • Sounds like he is going to put action words on a fishhook.

      Sorry. It's too late & I haven't had dinner yet. Lunch wasn't much either. I know, I know, if yer working & busy no bitchin'.

  • Perry is like a gift that keeps on giving..

    • OccupytheDashboard

      So's herpes.

      • And hookworms, too, also.

        • user-of-owls

          That's just conjecture.

  • hollywooddood

    How about the clip of Mitt saying he's been married to the same woman for 25 years, oh wait, I mean 42 years… and Newt in the background with a priceless look on his face?

    • BerkeleyBear

      The better tell to me is the follow up that the 25 years refers to his business. Priorities, bitches!

  • Negropolis

    “We may just run clips of the Republican debates verbatim,” he told the Spanish-language network. “We won’t even comment on them, we’ll just run those in a loop.”

    I love it when he says stuff like this. No snark. That's right, just roll the clip of them booing gay soldiers, and shouting for a theoretical comatose patient to die because he didn't have health insurance, or applauding at the number of inmates Perry killed in Texas, and well, the list goes on and on and on and on.

    • Mittens, Bachmann, Neuter, and Perry wanting to nuke Iran, well maybe something less than nuke, and start a third war will get them lots of votes. We'll get the 99% all jerbs with the DoD or its vendors, that's the ticket.

    • fuflans

      and cheering waterboarding and the death penalty. those were fine moments.

  • RadiosTyrone

    And this is why he needs a billion dollars.

  • owhatever

    Once again proving that Socialist Kenyan Muslin Obama has no fresh ideas.

    • datateday

      Whereas Herman Cain tries to always use fresh ingredients in his pizza.

    • DahBoner

      He could change his name legally to the Fresh Prince of Kenya….

  • Negropolis

    OT: The Gabby Giffords 20/20 interview and story is on. One of the saddest things I've seen in a long time, but it's getting more hopeful as it moves along.

    • Limeylizzie

      Thanks for that, I just took a look and she really is pretty amazing, not sure that she can go back to Congress though.

      • fuflans

        i don't know, i'm pretty gabby could still whip joe walsh's ass.

        • Limeylizzie

          Oh well, that's a given.

      • Neilist_Returns

        Gee, that's rather cold.

        You mean you're not prepared to give her another shot?

        Benazir Bhutto Endowed Chair Of Premature Ejeculations and Elemocutions
        Department Of Humors
        Wonkette University & Nail Salon

        • Limeylizzie

          Oh welcome back, with your rapid-fire wit!

      • Negropolis

        I was thinking the same thing. I'm hoping that she gets as much back as Bob Woodruff did, but, politically speaking, I doubt it'll be by the May deadline for running for Congress.

        • Limeylizzie

          But she has such a winning and adorable personality and that seems very intact, which must be an immense relief to her husband, maybe she can run in a couple of years.

          • flamingpdog

            She could pull a George Wallace and run her spouse for her office, and then move back in when she's well enough to serve herself (no snark).

          • Negropolis

            That's what I loved seeing about her in the interview. It was really joyful to see before the interview even started how she goes over to fix Diane's hair. lol

            Obviously, her personality is still very largely intact, and the way she moves shows that she still has all of the visual cues you need. I hate that her language was stolen from her, though. You can tell she so badly has an entire paragraph in her head, but can only vocalize a few words of it.

  • "I've already proven that I can run a Republican Administration better than any of these yahoos."

    – Obama

  • BaldarTFlagass

    This would actually work if he had a half-way intelligent and discerning audience to which he could broadcast the ads.

    • Yes, if only there were intelligent and discerning voters, Obama could have been President now!

  • user-of-owls

    Asked why the Republicans ultimately lost the 2012 election to a seemingly vulnerable incumbent, political analysts will say: "Twas their own verbs what ate 'em."

    • memzilla

      The Fault, dear Brutus, lies not in our Stars, but in our Derps.

      • Negropolis

        Et tu, memzilla; et tu? Also? Too?

  • I really hate this crap.

    If President Obama wants to remain President Obama after January 20, 2012, he will pound the fuck out of the Republicans every chance he gets. He may not win if he does it that way but he will surely lose if he doesn't.

    • Negropolis

      I don't worry about what Obama says as far as campaigning is concerned. He swore up and down he'd not go negative against Hillary Clinton. And, technically, that was correct. He just had all of his surrogates tear her to shreds. He may govern like crap, but as far as campaigning, he's one of the most ruthless I've seen in my short life having followed very closely the 2008 primaries.

      Don't you worry. It's already been leaked (and Plouffe has even used the line) that if it's Mitt Romney, he's talk about how he has no soul. And that's some pretty vile shit considering I hear it's a slur used by Evangelicals against Mormons.

      • BerkeleyBear

        Not only didn't he go negative on Hillary, the campaign as a whole mainly did the negatives with a very light touch. Not saying it wasn't vicious and thoroughly devastating, but it wasn't a shotgun like Rove is trying to use on Obama already. More like a cut from a straight razor – you don't see it coming, you don't feel it at first, but next thing you know you are covered in blood.

        Plus, what Obama does much better than just about anyone is baiting the other side into making a mistake/overreaction that he can then just point to without any negativity. Remember the "Reagan was a transformative President" and "the GOP was the party of ideas" lines at a Nevada ed. board, only to have Hillary go apeshit at a debate? Or offering McCain a joint statement on the banking crisis, only to have him "cancel" his campaign and insist on a meeting he had nothing to say about? With this wealth of video at his disposal, I can only imagine what he'll do.

        • Negropolis

          He really does run an otherwordly campaign machine. I liken it to a venomous snake bite from something like a black mamba. A lot like what you said, eventually, after you get bitten you find yourself bleeding from every orifice, and by then it's too late. No one should underestimate him, Barry has proven that he'll cut a bitch.

          • mereoblivion

            At least until he gets (re-)elected.

          • Negropolis

            Well, yeah. As I said, the difference between his governing mode and campaign mode is night and day. Some good campaigners make horrible presidents, and some horrible presidents have been excellent campaigners. Sometimes, we're lucky and we get both.

  • Nostrildamus

    Moral: there is no sentient being on planet Earth that doesn't want to be stroked by our preznit.

    • Limeylizzie

      I know I would enjoy it.

  • Rick remembered the third one. It took awhile, but he got it.

  • Univision News? Pinche Republicanos de mierda! Btw, I'm pretty sure that telling your opponents what your plan is might not be the best strategy…

    • datateday

      That's why he said it on Univision – no right wingers can translate Spanish!

  • fuflans

    this is slightly off topic but i have a bobble head obama. this was from mr fuflans. he got it in hawaii. he had to go to hawaii b/c his dad died in the middle of the pacific. this happened right before my handicapped brother had to go for risky heart surgery.

    fall has sucked here in chicago.

    still!! i have a bobble head obama doll.

  • Uniprober

    Si! El bano es en mi Cabeza!

    • Negropolis

      Que the hell?

  • gogogodzilla

    Obama will win for three reasons: Romney is a robot, Cain is toast, and um, uh, let's see. Oops, I stepped in it.

    • datateday

      No, no, no – you don't have no toast until it pops outta the toaster! That's what politics is about! – Cain.

    • Is anybody worried about the rise of Gingrich? I know it's easy to dismiss his latest poll numbers as just the latest desperate attempt to find the Antimitt, but in all this time I've never factored Gingrich into the equation, and I haven't spent any time thinking about how it might play out. Assuming he would actually be interested in the nomination and wouldn't just sabotage his own candidacy when he realized he was in danger of winning, what does he bring to the fight?

      The way this wacky country works these days, I would expect him to try to generate a wave of nostalgia for the Clinton years and see if he can ride it to victory. Remember the prosperity of the 90s? That was Newt! I'll bet it would work on two-thirds of independent voters.

      • Negropolis

        There is no opposition researchers fantasy greater than that of having Gingrich as the candidate. Even more than Rick Perry. Gingrich has a record like no other. Particularly one of taking whatever ideology is popular at the time and then dropping it when it's not popular. In all honesty, he's probably a bigger flip-flopper than Romney, but having been largely ignored over the years, no one has yet noticed. This is not even to get into the fact that he's a total huckster and undisciplined as hell.

  • ttommyunger

    He'll prolly be running against the Mittster, who hasn't really fucked up in a big way yet during the debates and is unlikely to do so during the balance of the Campaign. Better go to plan B.

    • BerkeleyBear

      Nah, the tape on Mitt is still golden. Just one look at him creeps out a lot of people, and that insincere manner makes a wonderful contrast with the President's powerful use of the cadence of preachers. Of course, if you add in all the non-debate fucked up statements like "corporations are people, my friend", "I'm unemployed too" and "government workers make more than us" (in his fresh from LLBean plaid shirt and sitting on 250million in the bank), "let the foreclosures run their course so the investor class can buy up all the houses", "let Detroit go fuck itself" its even better, but there is such a thing as overkill.

      • ttommyunger

        Good points, all.

    • datateday

      Of course Mitt Romney wouldn't make any nationally televised mistakes, "I'm running for office, for Pete's sake!"

      • ttommyunger

        You're right, there are a few nuggets out there that Mittens dropped.

  • Isyaignert

    This is the advice I would have given them – just run clips of their own words. Nothing more needs to be said. The 'cons are so 'muffed' up now that no one wants to be their friend. Gonna be a cold winter for you rightwingers, and springtime isn't going to support your crazy ideas either. Buh-bye!

    • datateday

      Baby birdies, morning dew, and newly blossomed flowers hate conservatism.

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    So, Obama is going to launch an all Blingee campaign?

  • CapeClod

    “We may just run clips of the Republican debates verbatim,” he told the Spanish-language network. “We won’t even comment on them, we’ll just run those in a loop.” He then added, "We also plan on removing Biden's vocal cords for the duration of the campaign."

  • NorthStarSpanx

    A Senator's aid wrote "Finally" on his facebook post when Sarah Palin announced her resignation from being Alaska's Governor. The first responder hollered "UNCALLED FOR!" in his incensed grief.

    I see a lot of conservatives frothing at the lips at this mature dig at the opposing party. It's not like he's directing voters to Wonkette to insult the party of NOPE.

  • Redhead

    That's really all he'd have to do. I would hope.

    Then again, probably not. And I'm not sure what's sadder.

  • Redhead

    Hi, speaking for those of us who actually read Wonkette before commenting, it's somewhat alienating of you to have your hissy fit before stopping to realize the whole point of the site. Stop it. Thanks!

    • Crowe2011

      Woops. Wrong tab. I thought it was Crooks and Liars being lefty-wingnuts again. Wonkette and C&L look kinda similar. My bad. If you read the remark in the context it was intended to be made… you can agree that if lefty sites were depicting the FLOTUS as a reptile it would be alienating. As for how I mistook C&L for Wonkette… Poe's Law?

      • Redhead

        Gotcha! Sorry 'bout the overreaction then. I very often have to double check lately to see whether I'm reading the NYT, NPR, etc – or the Onion or Wonkette. If anyone seriously said the things on Wonkette, it would disturbing. Well, is disturbing, since I think some people actually DO say these things in seriousness…

  • DetectiveGrey

    Wait a second, here. I'm all about getting Hopey into office in 2012 as much as the next snark-addled Wonketteer, but can I just point something out with his wording here?

    “I don’t think it requires us to go negative in the sense of us *running a bunch of ads that are false*, or character assassinations,”

    I mean I know what he means from this, but this still implies that he is aware of running false ads against his opponents. I can't believe people missed this.

    • Crowe2011

      Admitting you're aware of something isn't the same as admitting to having done it in the past. I mean… Joe Paterno was aware that Jerry Sandusky was molesting children, but that doesn't mean he was molesting them himself. See?

    • He just said that he didn't think it would be required. Minimal force, like in Libya.

  • MozakiBlocks

    I try to visualize the debates between Barry and the eventual Republican nominee…

    • Crowe2011

      Really? The pollsters would prefer you imagined him debating against Generic Republican. Try to imagine him debating against someone who looks like a cross between Newt Gingrich and Michelle Bachmann who shares Mitt Romney and Ron Paul's views on economic policy and Herman Cain and Jon Huntsman's knowledge of foreign policy.

  • EBGrey

    Oops up side yo' head, I say oops up side yo' head!

    Honestly, the President cracks me up sometimes. He's gonna bring it in 2012.

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