SECRET HALF-MUSLIN  4:07 pm November 14, 2011

Wingnut Anti-Tax Hero Grover Norquist Actually Muslim Extremist?

by Wonkette Jr.

Hamas Mouse supports Grover Norquist!It was a long, long reign of terror. But slowly, and at long last, real conservatives are coming to understand the true identity of anti-tax Republican hero Grover H. Norquist: He’s a dangerous Muslim extremist! Important wingnut Internet Newspaper World Net Daily broke the news about the right-wing heartthrob, and now teabaggers nationwide are expected to quit supporting Norquist’s anti-tax policies and probably join the #Occupy Wall Streeters …. anything to avoid the creeping Shariah that is always creeping up the wingnuts’ legs and making them feel all tingly.

World Net Daily’s editor solemnly writes:

In the past, I have spent some time explaining that Norquist represents the gravitational center of an effort at Muslim Brotherhood infiltration of the conservative movement and politics in America more generally — especially Republican politics. [...]

I say this not only because of his decidedly Shariah-friendly activities and associations.

I say it not only because of his decision to bless GOProud, a faux conservative group promoting the homosexual agenda to Republicans.

Indeed, there is nothing more Shariah-friendly than advancing the homosexual agenda.

As it turns out, Norquist is a filthy Muslim Brotherhood infiltrator because he supported raising the debt ceiling — or didn’t oppose it enough! — and because he “used his well-developed connections in Washington to spread the tentacles of stealthy jihad through the corridors of power.”

But what about those ominous “associations” with the Mooslims? Oh right, Norquist’s wife is Kuwaiti, and even though she’s a free-market propagandist one can never cleanse the taint of Shariah even with Adam Smith’s harshest soap. [WND via chascates]

 

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{ 212 comments }

chascates November 14, 2011 at 4:09 pm

The only decent people in the world are you and me and I'm starting to wonder about you.

Biel_ze_Bubba November 14, 2011 at 5:45 pm

I was just thinking the same thing.

deelzebub November 14, 2011 at 6:15 pm

Wonder no more. I am far from decent.

mrbubb November 14, 2011 at 8:23 pm

Aristotle said to Plato: "tragedy causes an excess of emotions, except in philosophers like you and me, and I'm not so sure about you." True story.

hagajim November 14, 2011 at 4:10 pm

I have nothing to say – except Grover Norquist cannot die soon enough, despite that fact that he's a MOOSLEM!

flamingpdog November 14, 2011 at 5:02 pm

Sarah Palin is a notorious supporter of the Moose Limb religion, but nobody on the right seems to mind.

horsedreamer_1 November 15, 2011 at 2:44 pm

So, it's true what they say, & Glen Rice is well-hung?

Biel_ze_Bubba November 14, 2011 at 5:46 pm

Why do you hate 76 virgins?

nounverb911 November 14, 2011 at 4:11 pm

Needs more Sharia law?

slowhansolo November 14, 2011 at 4:12 pm

Oh good, does this mean we can finally start taxing shale gas extraction in Pennsylvania?

McRibzgood November 14, 2011 at 4:50 pm

I sure hope so. We need buses in this city.

hagajim November 14, 2011 at 4:13 pm

I'll tell you, I once had Shariah on my taint – and it taint good.

HempDogbane November 14, 2011 at 4:26 pm

"one can never cleanse the taint". We go with the taint we have, not the taint we wish we had.

Fare la Volpe November 14, 2011 at 4:42 pm

The trick is to wipe the Shariah front to back, not back to front.

Biel_ze_Bubba November 14, 2011 at 5:47 pm

I had a great time with Sharia — but she was much younger back then.

bumfug November 14, 2011 at 8:21 pm

I remember the time I had Sharia on my taint – Sharia Mitchell, girl had a tongue like a rain-forest lizard. *sigh*

Negropolis November 15, 2011 at 12:26 am

Give her a bit more practice and tell her not to bite. I assure you, this was all a misunderstandinng.

memzilla November 14, 2011 at 4:13 pm

Speaking of wingtards and publicity, Grover Norquist and Joe McCarthy have one thing in common: they couldn't have done more to destroy America if they had been in the paid employ of America's enemies.

Herring_Burnit November 14, 2011 at 5:16 pm

You have PROOF that they WEREN'T?

LeAlbatross November 14, 2011 at 5:48 pm

Except ol' Joe had the decency (ahem) to be right out in front doing it. Grover lurks in back.

LowProfileinGA November 14, 2011 at 6:59 pm

Same M.O. as Marcus.

AmericanBeauty November 17, 2011 at 6:16 am

At least Joe was an actual elected official. Grover is not nor ever has been a legitimate elected official, but has more than the power of one.

johnnymeatworth November 14, 2011 at 4:13 pm

"tentacles of stealthy jihad…." Oh wait, this is from a hentai site, it's ok….

Herring_Burnit November 14, 2011 at 5:16 pm

Does this mean we should be grateful it's not a bukkake site?

Fare la Volpe November 14, 2011 at 5:25 pm

I have a feeling bukkake is tame compared to the sick shit Joey Farah whacks it to.

Herring_Burnit November 14, 2011 at 5:52 pm

Well, he does have the Sleazeball Stache to beat all sleazeball staches, fersure.

Do NOT accept moustache rides from this man. He probably has three weeks' worth of snack crumbs stashed in that thang.

coolhandnuke November 14, 2011 at 4:14 pm

Grover Norquist anagram–Governor Squirt

memzilla November 14, 2011 at 4:40 pm

Anagrams of World Net Daily include Lowly Ranted Id, Told Wry Denial, and Ladled Winy Rot.

Herring_Burnit November 14, 2011 at 5:17 pm

I like Ladled Winy Rot. It sounds like something these pigs should be feeding upon. At an unclean trough.

Chillwaver November 14, 2011 at 4:42 pm

Eliot Spitzer?

yrbmegr November 15, 2011 at 1:04 pm

Squire Grontov

horsedreamer_1 November 15, 2011 at 2:46 pm

See Johnny English Reborn. In theaters now.

Not_So_Much November 14, 2011 at 4:14 pm

Please, I don't ever want to read the words "cleanse the taint" in a post about Grover again.

jjdaddyo November 14, 2011 at 4:15 pm

WTF? Someone at WND is mixing LSD with their Medicare part II Viagra.

gullywompr November 14, 2011 at 4:15 pm

Looks like Grover got drowned in the bathtub…

Antispandex November 14, 2011 at 4:16 pm

Let's just hold up here a minute! I am sure there is some way that this can be explained as a liberal plot…and Fox News will find it before the end of the news cycle.

elviouslyqueer November 14, 2011 at 4:16 pm

He's is unashamedly pro-perversion, given his position on the advisory board of GOProud.

So says Joseph Farah, who looks as though he's given more mustache rides to underage boys than the athletic departments of Penn State and The Citadel combined.

chascates November 14, 2011 at 4:20 pm

ReVille has worked as assistant upper school principal at Coastal Christian Preparatory School.

Yep, 'suffer the little children to come unto me.'

SmutBoffin November 14, 2011 at 4:17 pm

When the only defense against shariah tentacles is unwavering stupidity, what do you do?

Herring_Burnit November 14, 2011 at 5:18 pm

Ride the tentacles all the way to the bitter end, what else?

hagajim November 14, 2011 at 4:17 pm

♫♪♫"Come a little closer love, be a dove, close enough to give me some taint Shariah"♫♪♫

DerrickWildcat November 14, 2011 at 4:18 pm

I did a book report about Grover Cleveland.

nounverb911 November 14, 2011 at 4:20 pm

Wasn't he the coach at Ohio State that slapped an opposing teams player during a bowl game?

LesPaultard November 14, 2011 at 4:23 pm

No, that was Woody Harrelson.

Fare la Volpe November 14, 2011 at 4:34 pm

You mean the cowboy from Toy Story?

V572625694 November 14, 2011 at 4:42 pm

Heh heh, you said, "woody."

Negropolis November 15, 2011 at 12:31 am

I did a report on Grover de la Rue Sesame, and I've always wanted to visit Cleveland.

SorosBot November 14, 2011 at 4:18 pm

He's an evil far-right shitbag who wants the government to ground the poor into the pavement, take what little they have and parcel it out among the 1% – but he's not also a bigot and supports the rights of rich men of all religions, nationalities and sexualities, so he's not a true conservative.

Beetagger November 14, 2011 at 4:19 pm

I propose a series of Lincoln/Booth debates between Norquist and Gingrich.

V572625694 November 14, 2011 at 4:43 pm

Reminds me of the McKinley/Czolgosz Debate of 1901

Generation[redacted] November 14, 2011 at 4:57 pm

I was thinking the Kang/Kodos debates of '96.

Chichikovovich November 14, 2011 at 5:14 pm

And no president has debated an anarchist since.

Numbat_Dundee November 14, 2011 at 5:09 pm

Only if they do it in mud wearing budgie smugglers.

jqheywood November 14, 2011 at 5:11 pm

Okay…I'll ask <he said with some trepidation>….

What in the hell are "budgie smugglers"?

Numbat_Dundee November 14, 2011 at 6:19 pm

They are a common Australian term for speedos (ie overly scanty male swimwear).

Herring_Burnit November 14, 2011 at 5:54 pm

I don't know why, but "budgie smugglers" makes me giggle helplessly like a child.

Numbat_Dundee November 14, 2011 at 6:18 pm

And so they should. See above.

Geminisunmars November 14, 2011 at 6:22 pm

Could it be that your budgie smugglers are too tight?

Veritas78 November 14, 2011 at 6:25 pm

Actually, Grover's only real job was the few months he worked for Gingrich after college. Otherwise he was arranging for the sale of arms to Jonas Savimbi (responsible for the slaughter of tens of thousands of innocent Angolans, including many children) and sucking Koch-teat. And I'm not sure what he did for Gingrich really counts as "work."

horsedreamer_1 November 15, 2011 at 2:49 pm

Jonas Savimbi, you say? Reminds me: what was the origin of the trade in 1980s African dictators as late 90s Internet pseudonyms, e.g. Mr Destructo AKA Mobutu Sese Seko?

BaldarTFlagass November 14, 2011 at 4:19 pm

"Grover Norquist. That's a joke name, right? Like Sillius Soddus, or, uh, Biggus Dickus. Right?"

Bonzos_Bed_Time November 14, 2011 at 4:24 pm

Has to be a euphemism for something, maybe the "Hot Grover" or "Steaming Norquist."

Generation[redacted] November 14, 2011 at 4:33 pm

I have to consult the urban dictionary on that.

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 14, 2011 at 4:40 pm

I have a friend in Rome, you know, named Biggus Dickus.

I also have a friend from NYC named Gover. He's all blue and furry.

SayItWithWookies November 14, 2011 at 4:44 pm

"What the hell's wrong with the name Grover Norquist," asks Reince Preibus.

Callyson November 14, 2011 at 5:00 pm

I didn't think anyone could beat it for a joke name, then I heard of Reince Preibus…

OccupyFnChicken November 14, 2011 at 5:11 pm

Think about how this current batch of Republicans have made a mockery of Reagan's name. That's kinda funny.

Spurning Beer November 14, 2011 at 5:19 pm

"He has a wife, you know…."

Geminisunmars November 14, 2011 at 6:24 pm

Kind of like how Newton Gingrich and his name are a joke, right?

Negropolis November 15, 2011 at 12:34 am

I hearby propose that a "Grover Norquist" is a teabagging in whichthe bagee holds ice in his or her mouth whilst doing the deed. You know, shrink government so small you can, teabag it.

kissawookiee November 14, 2011 at 4:20 pm

I think Dr. Bronner's All-One soap will take that right out.

OneYieldRegular November 14, 2011 at 4:21 pm

For a party full of Bible thumpers, it's truly baffling how few of them seem to be familiar with concept of reaping what one sows.

OccupyFnChicken November 14, 2011 at 5:13 pm

No, every time they catch someone doing something that's off-message or marginally unethical, they all pull this big "No True Scotsman" circle jerk — and throw out the offending party.

EatsBabyDingos November 14, 2011 at 4:22 pm

There's a guy works down the chip shop swears he's Elvis
Just like you swore to me that you'd be true
There's a guy works down the chip shop swears he's Elvis
Well, he's a liar and I'm not sure avbout you.

I now have a smile in my heart!

OccupytheDashboard November 14, 2011 at 4:33 pm

RIP Kirsty.

NewtsUndies November 14, 2011 at 5:05 pm

I'm on honeymoon in Mexico and afraid to go in the water for fear of rich fucks in speedboats. Poor old Kirsty. Still makes me mad after all these years. Fucker got off too through corruption. Fucking 1%.

Numbat_Dundee November 14, 2011 at 5:12 pm

Every now and then I remember that she's dead and Shane MacGowan's still alive and I still can't believe it.
Allah has a black sense of humour.

PhilippePetain November 14, 2011 at 4:22 pm

Sharia Queers Want You!

OneYieldRegular November 15, 2011 at 4:55 pm

Don't let the swag industry die before I'm able to buy that on a t-shirt.

PhilippePetain November 16, 2011 at 5:23 pm

Sharia Queers don't follow House rules.

memzilla November 14, 2011 at 4:23 pm

Both Grover and Wing Nut Daily epitomize Mark Twain's quote: ‘‘All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.’’

Chet Kincaid November 14, 2011 at 6:33 pm

Is Grover smart enough to conceive a long- range, successful plan to paralyze and cauterize government? What progressive is smarter?

McRibzgood November 14, 2011 at 4:23 pm

"Norquist represents the gravitational center of an effort at Muslim Brotherhood infiltration"

Now THAT, my friends, IS bat shit insane!

SorosBot November 14, 2011 at 4:43 pm

Have you seen pictures of Grover Norquist? He is quite a large gravitational center, though not quite as much as, say, Chris Christie.

Biel_ze_Bubba November 14, 2011 at 6:17 pm

Logic cannot escape a black hole any more easily than light.
(Even information seems to vanish, but that bothers only a select few.)

Chet Kincaid November 14, 2011 at 6:36 pm

What?! I can't hear you over all the flapping and flying guano!!

OccupyFnChicken November 14, 2011 at 4:23 pm

Wow. This reminds me of Ambrose Bierce, defining what "African" means in The Devil's Dictionary:

AFRICAN, n. A n*gger that votes our way.

Please tell me that conservatives will start eating their children now.

Fare la Volpe November 14, 2011 at 4:33 pm

Start?

Biel_ze_Bubba November 14, 2011 at 6:14 pm

What — are you counting Sandusky?

Steverino247 November 15, 2011 at 9:43 am

OK. "Conservatives will start eating their children now." Happy?

GregComlish November 14, 2011 at 4:23 pm

WND also discovered where all the gayness is coming from: soy beans

http://www.wnd.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=53

elviouslyqueer November 14, 2011 at 4:30 pm

I especially like how the author put "gay" in scare quotes. Kinda like "idiotic motherfucker" or "batshit insanity."

Fare la Volpe November 14, 2011 at 4:40 pm

Or "serial child molester."

I had a great uncle with a face like that. We don't invite him to Christmas anymore.

Fare la Volpe November 14, 2011 at 5:04 pm

Jesus tap-dancing fucknuggets, did you catch this gem?

"Soy is feminizing, and commonly leads to a decrease in the size of the penis, sexual confusion and homosexuality."

I have no words for lunacy like that. I don't know if I'm more offended that he thinks soy causes gayness, or that he thinks gay men have smaller dicks.

Numbat_Dundee November 14, 2011 at 5:14 pm

What an evil bean though. Makes people gay AND simultaneously reduces the size of all the newly gay penises.

elviouslyqueer November 14, 2011 at 6:03 pm

Oh please. I've always said "The size of the package isn't important. What's important is how it's delivered."

Geminisunmars November 14, 2011 at 6:29 pm

COD? Plain brown wrapper? Postage Due?

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 14, 2011 at 7:23 pm

Why do you think I only drink rain water or pure grain alcohol?

Isn't it nice to know that WND is taking Dr. Strangelove is historical and scientific truth?

Bonzos_Bed_Time November 14, 2011 at 4:24 pm

Can't gay Muslins want lower corporate income taxes, too???

Chet Kincaid November 14, 2011 at 6:47 pm

"Hold on, lemme ask this fella Ah'm holdin' hands with." — W. Bush

Bonzos_Bed_Time November 14, 2011 at 10:47 pm

"It's a sign of respect when I kiss him on the cheek."

Negropolis November 15, 2011 at 12:38 am

"And it's a sign of love when I kiss him on the mouth."

Chillwaver November 14, 2011 at 4:24 pm

You know who else was involved in "Shariah-friendly activities"?

Fare la Volpe November 14, 2011 at 4:28 pm
Chillwaver November 14, 2011 at 4:29 pm

Shariah Carey

CapnFatback November 14, 2011 at 4:31 pm

"Did you just answer yourself?" he offered rhetorically.

Chillwaver November 14, 2011 at 4:34 pm

Yes, but I have the feeling I'm not the only one around here who talks to him/herself…

flamingpdog November 14, 2011 at 5:11 pm

I'm the only one I can count on to agree with myself. Well, most of the time.

Negropolis November 15, 2011 at 12:39 am

Shariah Twain?

Blueb4sunrise November 14, 2011 at 4:33 pm

Frankie Valli?

SorosBot November 14, 2011 at 4:40 pm

Princess Di?

Chillwaver November 14, 2011 at 4:44 pm

But not Princess Nancy?

Generation[redacted] November 14, 2011 at 4:59 pm

Trivial Pursuit, Shariah Edition?

Numbat_Dundee November 14, 2011 at 5:15 pm

Ken Layne's Beard.

Geminisunmars November 14, 2011 at 6:33 pm

The Knack, who had that big hit "My Shariah"?

horsedreamer_1 November 15, 2011 at 2:51 pm

Kosher butchers?

Blueb4sunrise November 14, 2011 at 4:24 pm

This is….
It's just…..
I can't….
When…
Wha…?

JustPixelz November 14, 2011 at 4:25 pm

Fuck! If WND hates Shariah Law, I'm gonna have to support it. Into your burquas, ladies. Beard measuring for men (and Marcus) will begin in three months. BaconIsGood: You'll have to change your name to BaconIsBad.

GunToting[Redacted] November 14, 2011 at 4:50 pm

If my estimating skills are worth anything, Marcus' beard is about 5' 3".

OccupyFnChicken November 14, 2011 at 5:02 pm

I SAW WHAT YOU DID THERE

(through laughter-filled, tear-streaked eyes)

tymberwolf817 November 15, 2011 at 4:39 pm

Yep! Gloria Cain is Marcus' wife! Wait . . . wha? [looks around confused]

CapnFatback November 14, 2011 at 4:27 pm

Adam Smith’s harshest soap.

Apparently, the invisible hand is the one body part Lever 2000 cannot cleanse.

ShitFilledExistence November 14, 2011 at 4:27 pm

Sounds like WND is one step closer to infiltrating Al Grover.

OccupyFnChicken November 14, 2011 at 4:35 pm

…and not the way GOProud intended.

ShitFilledExistence November 14, 2011 at 4:46 pm

Whoops–did I say infiltrating? I meant penetrating.

Generation[redacted] November 14, 2011 at 4:36 pm

We can't take a chance, or be complacent and simply hope Super Grover doesn't fly into buildings.

chascates November 14, 2011 at 4:27 pm

Awesome hede on C&L:
Confirmed Serial Adulterer Passes Alleged Serial Harasser in GOP Race

Fare la Volpe November 14, 2011 at 4:32 pm

Family values.

Biel_ze_Bubba November 14, 2011 at 6:13 pm

I always had a hard time figuring out how to rank the relative values… watching this campaign has been very enlightening.

littlebigdaddy November 14, 2011 at 4:27 pm

If you throw in the Lizard People, you can have a trifecta of crazy.

JustPixelz November 14, 2011 at 4:28 pm

Shariah Law is just a theory that's out there. It hasn't been proven. In the non-muslin world, we have the Ten Commandments, which are definitely not Law since most people manage to violate most of them most of the time. (Except for murder and steal, I consider the Big Ten kind of a bucket list.)

OccupyFnChicken November 14, 2011 at 4:31 pm

The whole principle of capitalism is based on covetousness. But tell that to a fucking Christian, and he suddenly bleeds from all orifices in denial.

emmelemm November 14, 2011 at 4:41 pm

If only! (They started bleeding from their orifices, and didn't stop, and then died.) It would be like garlic for vampires.

OccupyFnChicken November 14, 2011 at 4:32 pm

Also, how goes the adultery part? Any luck so far?

Fare la Volpe November 14, 2011 at 4:38 pm

Since the Bible considers so much as looking at a woman with lust to be adultery, billions of teenage boys (and statistically several girls) break that commandment every minute.

OccupyFnChicken November 14, 2011 at 4:42 pm

…and three Semantics points to Fare! Maybe we should evolve and wear condoms in daily life, a la South Park and the purity rings.

Fare la Volpe November 14, 2011 at 4:46 pm

NO! If we give out condoms, that will only lead to lusty thoughts and fornication!!

C'mon. Don't you feel at your lustiest when you have to stop mid-coitus to slide an awkward piece of latex onto your quickly softening schlong?

JustPixelz November 14, 2011 at 4:49 pm

sigh I'll only adulter with Michelle Obama. (Michelle: He's not good enough for you!) I realize her husband has nuclear weapons, but I think she's worth it.

OccupyFnChicken November 14, 2011 at 4:59 pm

If you've ever read "The Boomer Bible", it does a snarky rundown of the ten commandments. My two favorites were "Thou shalt not covet — whatever that means," and "Thou shalt not commit adultery, even if thou art an adult."

weejee November 14, 2011 at 4:28 pm

This guy needz a major league tinfoil hat. He's clearly channeling the same voices that screech all day at She1y.

OccupyFnChicken November 14, 2011 at 4:30 pm

Now just remember the best part:

Grover got ALL them sons of bitches to sign his blood pledge.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

El Pinche November 14, 2011 at 5:25 pm

Ain't that a bitch?! HAHAHAHAHAHA …ooooh my side.

Goonemeritus November 14, 2011 at 4:30 pm

So that’s why he begged off showing up at my last pig roast and I thought he didn’t like the Gogol Bordello music and the anarchist themed party games.

CapnFatback November 14, 2011 at 4:33 pm

GROVER IS A MUSLIN AND THE MUPPETS HAVE RUN OUT OF FOOD! IT'S TIME TO TEABAG/OCCUPY SESAME STREET!!!

OccupytheDashboard November 14, 2011 at 4:34 pm

I love it LOVE IT when the rethugs feed upon themselves!!11!

OccupyFnChicken November 14, 2011 at 4:40 pm

Nothing quite like like a convention center filled with conservatards eating roast shit sandwiches on the war mantra during the '04 (s)election. That was… painful.

prommie November 14, 2011 at 4:35 pm

To prove he is a loyal Amurrican, Grover Norquist must waterboard his Kuwaiti wife in his bathtub. And then really drown her.

McRibzgood November 14, 2011 at 4:35 pm

You think that's nutz read the comments.

"Thank you, Mr. Farah for exposing Grover Norquist."

"Infiltration and The Muslim Mafia, books by Sperry and Gaubatz, tell the dangerous tale of Norquist and his like-minded stealth jihadists."

"Americans have freedom of speech. Also, as you KNOW, the illegal alien is just that–put into positions of authority without proof that he is a true American. Being born in Kenya makes him an illegal alien, as I've called him, and his father was a Kenya citizen, which also makes him an illegal alien." and the response: "I sure agree with you James. Why do the people that are supposed to be exposing this, the supposed Constitionaly Conservative Tea Parrtier, seem to shy away from this? It makes one wonder! Thank The Lord for Sherriff Joe!"

It goes on and on. I have no idea what these people are talking about. It's like they just bash words together.

ChurchofRealism November 14, 2011 at 4:36 pm

Cleanse the Taint was Spinal Tap's follow-up album to Smell the Glove.

jqheywood November 14, 2011 at 5:29 pm

Goes to 11!

SheriffRoscoe November 14, 2011 at 4:37 pm

The liberal sharia people are infulltrading our deepest corridors. And my corridor is tired of it!!!1!

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 14, 2011 at 4:42 pm

How will I know which insane Conservative to believe unless Glenn Beck lets me know which one is funded by George Soros or some other antisemitic Jew.

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 14, 2011 at 4:43 pm

WND has a right to be alarmed by this. If the Muslims and teh Gayez get together, who could possibly stop them? They would be ruthless, and fabulous, all at once.

Barrelhse November 14, 2011 at 8:49 pm

Act Up with scimitars and gauze pantaloons??

Joshua Norton November 14, 2011 at 4:43 pm

World Net Daily’s editor solemnly writes:

Oh, c'mon! "Editor" at Wingnut Daily is about as much of a real job as Choreographer for Forest Lawn Cemetery.

Nostrildamus November 14, 2011 at 4:43 pm

World Net Daily’s editor solemnly writes:

:)

Tundra Grifter November 14, 2011 at 4:43 pm

Wasn't Grover one of the lesser Muppets?

SorosBot November 14, 2011 at 4:49 pm

Lesser? LESSER? You punk, he was second only to Big Bird on Sesame Street until that rotten little fuckstain puke Elmo came along and started taking over the show!

McRibzgood November 14, 2011 at 4:57 pm

I can't thumbs up moar. Grover got in more pussy than the douche industry.

Biel_ze_Bubba November 14, 2011 at 5:52 pm

Had a nose for the ladiez, he did.

iburl November 14, 2011 at 6:34 pm

Dude could FLY!

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 14, 2011 at 7:34 pm

Not to lessen your point, as Grover was definitely not a lesser Muppet, but I would place Big Bird, Kermit, Oscar, Ernie and Bert ahead of him (they all usually had their own bits, while Grover was often in bits with the others). Still, I always loved the ones with Grover and Mitt Romney Guy Smiley. Now that is old school Sesame Street!

Gleem_McShineys November 14, 2011 at 5:24 pm

You're thinking of Gonzo, who, of course, must have been the inspiration for the phrase "keep fuckin' that chicken"

flamingpdog November 14, 2011 at 6:42 pm
El Pinche November 14, 2011 at 5:36 pm

I respectfully disagree. Grover was around before the world of puppetry got all corporate and shitty.

ShitFilledExistence November 14, 2011 at 6:21 pm

I lurved Grover.

Rotundo_ November 14, 2011 at 4:46 pm

WND is joining in the circular firing squad, trying to take out Grover, all the candidates are imploding except Mittens and they're getting desperate enough to consider Newt! for a candidate, having run out of alternatives that weren't crazy, creepy, Mormon or associated with a frothy mix of well…
They're punting now, aren't they? We must be headed for some real nasty shit if they are imploding like this. Europe must be defaulting, the Iranians must have the bomb and China must plan on annexing Taiwan and the Koreas or something similar. Or is it just that there won't be an NBA season this year?

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 14, 2011 at 4:46 pm

You know who else is a secret Muslim according to WND?

Blueb4sunrise November 14, 2011 at 4:58 pm

(shhhhhhhhh)

The editors of WND?

Generation[redacted] November 14, 2011 at 5:01 pm

All of 'em, Katie.

BarackMyWorld November 14, 2011 at 5:44 pm

Jesus?

Negropolis November 15, 2011 at 12:48 am

I wouldn't not put it above them to make the case that Jesus was a secret Muslim, or that he never converted to Christianity. lol

horsedreamer_1 November 15, 2011 at 2:55 pm

According to the ONION, in the late 90s, Jesus the Nazarene became Isa ibn al Mariam, accepting Allah as the One True God and Muhammad as his prophet.

owhatever November 14, 2011 at 4:47 pm

Darling, since you're going to be out tonight plotting the Sharia Law takeover of the United States with your Islamic-outreach friends, can I wear your pink burka? I'm tired of the blue one.

Baconzgood November 14, 2011 at 4:50 pm

Hmmmm. WDN. Don't shit where you eat.

Goodie. I knew this would happen. The tea party snake is eating it's own head.

jqheywood November 14, 2011 at 5:31 pm

Ouroboro, baby…

Biel_ze_Bubba November 15, 2011 at 1:12 pm

"snake is eating it's own head"

That sounds great, even if the visual makes my head hurt.

donner_froh November 14, 2011 at 4:51 pm

Those Muslims are so sneaky. Their tentacles of stealthy jihad are so stealthy that no one has ever seen them.

SayItWithWookies November 14, 2011 at 4:52 pm

I'm so bummed — I've wanted to have an insane French-Revolution-style societal upheaval for ages, and these motherfuckers who hate everything about said Revolution are going full-throttle Robespierre on each other. Oh well — if you can't beat 'em…

Les enfants de la Sharie
Nos jours de gloire est arrivé

DahBoner November 14, 2011 at 5:01 pm

Unfortunately, this particular Muslim is way too fat to drown in a bathtub…

Guppy November 14, 2011 at 5:12 pm

Is there a drinking contest for watching the implosion of the GOP?

flamingpdog November 14, 2011 at 5:22 pm

And how is it that this Joseph Farrahkhan Farah fellow knows so much about Muslins and Sharia Law?

BarackMyWorld November 14, 2011 at 5:24 pm

Fuuuuucccccckkkkkkk.

Dok-cupy Everything November 14, 2011 at 5:33 pm

Awww, it's so cute when the ethnic cleansing spreads to their own ranks.

BarackMyWorld November 14, 2011 at 5:46 pm

You know who else…aw, forget it.

El Pinche November 14, 2011 at 5:37 pm

So when do we waterboard Grover Norquist? And will it be on pay per view?

CommieLibunatic November 14, 2011 at 5:38 pm

So the anti-tax champion who supports smaller government also supports extreme Islamic theocracy and homosexuality?

…are you guys at WND even listening to the words that come out of your mouth? Or just headbutting the keyboard and letting the auto-correct figure things out from there?

OccupytheDashboard November 14, 2011 at 5:40 pm

There are some things that not even auto-correct will do.

Biel_ze_Bubba November 14, 2011 at 5:55 pm

They bang away until the animateed paper clip dude pops up, and says "I see you're trying to write an insane right-wing screed — can I help?"
They just let him take it from there.

EDIT: Did I just invent the most insidious malware ever?

CommieLibunatic November 14, 2011 at 6:14 pm

I just KNEW that little paper-binding fucker was up to no good! He was always so… helpful and meddling!

Rotundo_ November 14, 2011 at 7:20 pm

Et tu Clippy!?!??

poorgradstudent November 14, 2011 at 5:41 pm

Once I described WND to a friend as the National Review on steroids. Now I have to describe it as the National Review on steroids *and* PCP.

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 14, 2011 at 7:37 pm

So, basically, NRO?

poorgradstudent November 14, 2011 at 7:50 pm

Yes! But without the homely charm of your local schizophrenic homeless person.

L188188 November 14, 2011 at 5:42 pm

The oughta try tomato juice to cleanse that stench… it works when a skunk pisses on my dog.

Eve8Apples November 14, 2011 at 5:46 pm

"one can never cleanse the taint'

Norquist can cleanse the taint 'cuz he's a big ol' douchebag.

RadiosTyrone November 14, 2011 at 5:46 pm

Grover Norquist is so 1980's. He's a pussy. We should be cutting taxes on the job creators, not just refusing to raise them 3% marginally. Now Paul Ryan, there's a true patriot.

barto November 14, 2011 at 5:47 pm

Didn't realize Kuwait had mail-order brides.

Biel_ze_Bubba November 14, 2011 at 5:50 pm

One question: How did a guy named after a Muppet ever get taken so seriously?

Negropolis November 15, 2011 at 12:59 am

How did Mitt or Newt or Herman? No one knows, but it's never a missed communication between the zombie base and its masters.

anniegetyerfun November 14, 2011 at 7:04 pm

Farah is an Arab name. Why all the self hatred, Brother Muslim?

Madam Killjoy November 14, 2011 at 7:56 pm

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: Cracker Taliban Wingnuts hate what they think is "Sharia Law" because they can't get away with it here. Yet.

proudgrampa November 14, 2011 at 8:19 pm

Oh, for fuck's sake.

AlaskaGrrl November 14, 2011 at 10:56 pm

Cooties! Grover has cooties! Oooooooooooooooooooooh run away! Run away!

ttommyunger November 14, 2011 at 11:37 pm

"…Norquist’s wife is Kuwaiti…" and chronically underfucked.

Negropolis November 15, 2011 at 12:22 am

They really cover their bases consistently, don't they? They didn't just get "creeping Sharia" in there, but found a way to fit in the "homosexual agenda."

Chet Kincaid November 15, 2011 at 2:21 am

What the hell is a "Farah" with a big black bushy swarthy mustache then, HMMM?!

gurukalehuru November 15, 2011 at 1:26 pm

Oceania is now at war with Eastasia. Oceania has always been at war with Eastasia.

OccupyFnChicken November 14, 2011 at 4:58 pm

Hearkening back to the last time I needed one, I was so happy to be getting laid, it weren't a concern if you follow me logic.

Biel_ze_Bubba November 14, 2011 at 6:23 pm

[Bows deeply, with sweep of fuligin cape.]

PhilippePetain November 14, 2011 at 6:37 pm

I "came up with" Low-IQ Angerbear Uprising in a conversation I had over the weekend, with props to our Wonketeer argot.

I think that one may be better as an Italian Disco themed concept album though.

elviouslyqueer November 14, 2011 at 6:59 pm

Mostly missionary, but I'm open to experimentation.

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