Because of the great dishonor now associated with being a United States military veteran under the Kenyan Usurper Barack Obama, the Pentagon decided to change Veterans Day to Nigel Tufnel Day — you know, because it’s 11/11/11 according to a particular reading of the Western calendar, and because Nigel Tufnel was a historical druid saint of the past who could take things all the way to 11. And this, obviously, led to the “Arab Spring” government of Egypt to briefly stop killing protesters so it could close the Great Pyramid of the God King Pharoah Khufu, thanks to an “Internet campaign” against Internet rumors that unknown persons would conduct numerology rituals in Khufu’s pyramid, because of 11/11/11. Ever get the feeling you’ve been cheated?
It’s 2011, so by certain shorthand renderings of the year Two Thousand and Eleven, you have “11.” Alongside the numerals for the eleventh month and eleventh day (or vice versa, if you live in a better country than America), it makes “11/11/11,” which obviously means, according to the BBC, that “hospitals have reported a surge of bookings for Caesarean births and wedding venues have been having a busy day as well.” It will be sad when a certain percentage of those babies and mothers die during the operations, and when about half of those marriages end in divorce (in America, at least). But that’s how it goes with the Lucky Numbers, sometimes!
Let’s look back at the life and times of that great hero of Reaganomics, the “Austrian School” economist/voodoo druid Nigel Tufnel, who explained how one could change reality by simply changing the metric used to measure reality:
“Well, it’s one louder, isn’t it? It’s not 10. You see, most blokes, you know, will be playing at 10. You’re on 10 here, all the way up, all the way up, all the way up, you’re on 10 on your guitar. Where can you go from there? Where?”
But what about the “Internet campaign” to stop the “Internet rumors” of 11/11/11 rituals taking place within the Great Pyramid? And why would the Great Pyramid care about the Gregorian Calendar date of November 11, 2011?
Security was tightened across the entire complex, Associated Press news agency said, with dozens of police officers and armed soldiers on patrol.
After 11:11, the director of the pyramids complex, Ali al-Asfar, said nothing unusual had happened.
“Everything is normal,” he told AP.
The hell it is!
{ 146 comments }
11-11-11 – all it means to me is that we have been living about 41 years since the election of the Great Gipper (grandadddy of all assholes)…so in the past 41 years the wonderous politicians have managed to shitcan an entire country with their onerous (in honor of the day of 1's) idiocy. YAY! – Oh – and Happy Vets Day to everyone who has lost life and limb for no particular reason other than some politician thought it would be a great fucking idea.
Needs more Reagan tax hikes.
31.
Elitist math nazi.
It's 41 in base 8.
All your base 8 are belong to us.
No, wait, its 37 in base 8. Fuck.
Wait a minute….isn't 11-11-11 in base8 the equivalent of 9-9-9 in base10?
The first 9 numbers in base8:
1,2,3,4,5,6,7,10,11
The first 9 numbers in base10:
1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9
Just sayin'…
Well, 41 years ago he was in the midst of his hippie-bashing governorship, so that counts, right?
Feels like 41 though. I guess they put us in the crapper even faster than I thought
+1
Senator Jim DeMento approves this message.
Wait–a republican arguing that a tax break will NOT encourage hiring?
Mind=blown.
Does the new broadband go up to 11?
Tonight I'm going to rock you tonight.
that still makes me laugh out loud.
The bigger the cushion, the sweeter the pushin'
or so I have read…
Fountains of Wayne ask that you please don't rock them tonite.
Ever notice how much drinking is referenced in their songs…except when they mention weed or mushrooms?
I don't quite get this one, Ken. Not going to re-read it to try, got things to do…. Prolly just me.
TTommy, please thank your son for his service for me.
I'll do better than that, I'll forward this to him.
And thank him for me too, please.
As I mentioned earlier, I'll forward this to him. Thanks for the kind thoughts. Have many pix of him on my fb album; no security hoops to jump: ttommyunger.
wow you are some badasses.
good to know we have such firepower on our side.
BadBreath, maybe…Badass, notsomuch, but thanx, I think.
Me three.
Thanks, figured it was just me.
12th RITS, Tan Son Nhut AB, RVN, '72 to Feb '73. Choi oi, our freedom bird was held up a day so the POWs could be turned over. Then off to NKP on our way to 432nd RTS @ Udorn RTAFB!
Another “Old” speaks from the past, in Greek, to most readers.
At least they're not foolish enough to believe that communion wafers and grape juice are the flesh and blood some Jewish carpenter. Or that big-time college sports are somehow educational.
The NCAA is an educational organization…Man, that always cracks me up when I hear that!
No doubt there are tax breaks involved?
For the Fiesta Bowl to fund junkets to Tempe's finest non-ASU affiliated strip clubs, yes.
College sports build character! (Runs from the room to call daddy.)
It's also Jonathan Winters birthday.
All hail!!!
Also Kurt Vonnegut's. He's up in heaven now.
Or Tralfamadore.
Mmmmm, Montana WIldhack.
And in my heart.
Although I bet the never-ending thump-thump, thump-thump is driving him batty.
It's also George Patton's birthday today. Is Bobby Jindal still shoveling shit in Louisiana?
Hello Cleveland!
and the answer is none.. none more black…
You mean, like Herman Cain?
– the National Review
Are you going to post this again tonight at 11:11? Because that may be redundant.
Isn't it Armistice Day?
For every other nation that fought in WWI?
Yes.
In this nation, where we call people "heroes" despite the fact few of them ever did anything heroic?
Not so much.
In honor of today, England should give Christopher Guest his seat back in the House of Lords. In fact, only actors who were in Best in Show should be allowed to make laws.
Good idea, because I really need to take a shih tzu on an airplane.
Now tell me, would you want to have that dog as a wide receiver on your football team?
Needs moar corduroy.
In happier news, the Toronto Zoo promises to reunite their two gay penguins – yay for love!
This is all part of the gay penguin agenda. They're tryin to recruit our childrenz!
11 and 2011 are different numbers.
Oh, don't be a poop. We're gonna party like it's 11 A.D!
No, you are poop!
Today we are all poop.
Poop that goes to ELEVEN.
You mean p11p?
Ooooh…and my upfisty took your post to 11. Synchronicity, baby!
Whoa!
Aww man. You're killing my "arbitrary point in time" buzz.
Not if you're a fucking moron prone to believing all sorts of incredibly insane shit.
Well, I kinda am — but then most Libras are.
Well in Bhutan it's happy frickin' birthday for his Majesty the Fourth Druk Gyalpo. So instead of tapping Ken's spine, launch the balloons and put Whoopie Cushions on every chair.
"babies and mothers die during the operations, and when about half of those marriages end in divorce "
Man Ken. Buzz kill on a Spinal Tap post much.
Ken likes to stand up during science fiction movies and shout "Space is a vacuum! It wouldn't really go KABOOM!"
He's in dire need of a hug. I don't remember if he's in NYC or DC. I travel to both quite alot so if I ever see him I'll give him one.
Probably back in Cally.
It's finally arrived — the day all drummers fear. Sound checks all over the world will be fast and relatively quiet tonight.
In honor of Nigel Tufnel Day I'm going to get a can of tuna and buy somthing black at haberdasher.
David St. Hubbins: It's such a fine line between stupid, and uh…
Nigel Tufnel: Clever.
David St. Hubbins: Yeah, and clever.
None of this stuff will work on the Jews because they have a different calendar and stuff.
Damn right I get the feeling I've been cheated; its the great rock and roll swindle.
Down in Alabama they like home cooked fare yeah
So we're gonna strap you to the fryin' chair yeah
But I don't know what love is
Is there something else giving me the chills?
But if my hands are the color of blood
Then, I can tell ya
sure I can tell ya
Love kills
Hooray, you got the inappropriate Last Sex Pistols' Concert at Winterland reference.
Damn damn damn. I hoped I would be able to be the first to make that connection. Well, now I'm off to Rio to hang out with some old ex nazi and a train robber.
Do you want better broadband? or just a better broad?
Herman Cain would like to know.
Every time I see or hear that name, my mind gets re-boggled by how clumsy his (alleged) advances were and how unsuccessful he was. If you have money, influence, and are reasonably conversant, getting strange pussy is e-z.
Give a playa a break. You just be hearing from the frosties who said no.
The satisfied customers who said "Yes, please, Mr. HermaCain" ain't tellin'
no one. Want the man all to theirselves. Know there's only so much to go around.
Hmm. Maybe so. Maybe so. I could be failing to give the love the man has coming. But, historically, it seems the "yes's" were lumped in with the "no's" .
Paula Jones suit, for example, gave us Monica. That doesn't seem to be the case for Herman. Besides, with his lack of any sign of remorse or consideration for the ladies, I wouldn't be surprised if his next presser included something like "hey, these is the no bitches. That's why I didn't remember Sharon whazzerface. But I got me some while I was HNIC of the Association. In fact, I got lots – here's a list. With ratings!"
"That's just the way I roll, baby."
The number 11 was also important to god, once upon a time.
Let Moses explain it.
Moses: God gave us these 11 comman… (tablet slips out of Moses’ hand and breaks)… God gave us these 10 commandments.
God does not like the number 11 anymore.
I hate to be a dick here (not that its ever stopped me before), but when you "honor" our "veterans," today, what you are doing is perpetuating the myths and the brainwashing that makes young people believe that it is an "honorable," or even "sweet and proper" thing to do, to take up murdering people as your trade, and go off and kill for the benefit of Israel and the military industrial complex. Veterans have my condolences and sympathy, I am sorry they were fooled into their folly. but I'll be damned if I will ever say anything that might make some impressionable kid think its "honorable" to kill, whether wearing a uniform or otherwise.
Dulce et decorem est pro patria mori, eh Prommie?
Naw, my Daddy, he was in the army from 1940 to 1945. He told me hundreds of times, "don't ever join the army, its a crock of shit."
My uncle has a metal plate in his head and epilepsy from a wound he took in the South Pacific in WW 2 (and he doesn't even remember being there). He volunteered for the Marines as a patriotastic young man. He never has talked much about the military, but I was sitting with him a few years on his front porch, and for some reason his volunteering for the Marines came up. He looked at me and said, "What the HELL was I thinking?"
And thats the good war.
Thus, empires are built, and for awhile, preserved.
They didn't fool me, prommie. Tricky Dick drafted my ass out grad school. I can haz veteranz day?
You can. I love what Prommie said but respect and admire those who served honorably. Not so respectful of the ones caught killing civilians for sport.
"Dulce et decorem est pro patria mori, eh Prommie?"
Dulce et decorum est en medio coitu mori.
Fixed.
I don't think you are a dick, and I salute your honesty. But I disagree. There is a difference between soldiers and politicians – soldiers don't, and shouldn't, have the right to evaluate the relative merits of the action they are sent to.
So while they may have been "fooled into their folly" by a sense of patriotism, their service provided us with the freedom to quibble over whether the action in question was "good" or "bad".
In short, I guess, I think it is a bit unfair to hold the soldiers accountable for C-I-C decisions.
There hasn't been a morally justifiable US war (or even a strategically justifiable one) for as long as anyone on active duty in the military today has been alive.
Seriously, please explain how any major US military action in my lifetime (post-Vietnam) has done anything to "provide us with freedom."
I have some Kuwaiti friends who think the first Gulf War was a decent thing to do. They were living under Saddam's occupation of their country until we kicked him out.
Thanks for saying it.
*turns snark off* As a veteran, I don't agree with what you are saying. However, I am glad that my fellow veterans and I gave up some part of our life to protect your and anyone's right to express themselves freely in our society. *snark circuits re-energized*
HICCUP! GAWD BLESH UHMERRKHA! git dish ol shaler shumore tekillya dammit…
*also turns snark off*
Like Prommie, I use Veteran's Day primarily to grieve for the soldiers lost, butI have no problem "honoring" them for taking time out of their lives to serve in the military. I believe we need a defense force because there are bad guys out there. But what I think Prommie is really getting at is the ever-increasingly ritual glorification of the troops that, in my mind, at least, is just another tool of the military/industrial complex to keep Americans ginned up for war and expansion of our influence around the world. And, of course, many of these same bozos "spit" on the troops by paying them poorly, seeing no problem with grunts' families being on food stamps, denying them mental health care when they get back, claiming that their mental problems predated their combat experience, and proposing to cut VA benefits. "Honoring", OK: "glorifying", fuck it.
P. S. Policeman die keeping the peace, fireman die keeping people alive and property safe, and we have a memorial out in front of my state gubmint agency's headquarters building for the snow plow drivers and maintenance workers who have DIED keep the driving public safe. These folks don't get honored so much. But then they don't drive billion-dollar vehicles that enrich industrialists, either.
*snark back on* Crap, now I got nothin'.
Against whom did you defend us? This reminds me of those 'if you read this in English, thank a vet' stickers. When was the last time the US was threatened? The US military is used as a tool to threaten and not the other way around.
Sorry to sound angry but this shit annoys the crap out of me! I am not not NOT saying the US is in other ways comparable to the Nazi regime but I notice the Germans realise that honoring the service of those who volunteered in WW2 might be a little tasteless. I wish the US population had the same clarity of vision.
So, what you're saying is that you're a terrorist who hates america?
two words: cannon fodder
I love you and want to have your babies. I thought I was a lone voice in the wilderness saying this. I also feel that, if you voluntarily join the most violent organization in the world and they give you a gun you can really not be terribly surprised when they expect you to go killing people. And a path through college isn't really much of an excuse. So I guess I'm even more of a dick than you are.
SO this means 11 bong hits, 11 shots of mescal, and 11 blowjobs?
"Yes" to the first, "I'll try" to the second and "Not even if Herman Cain were offering me my dream job" to third.
You're noted pornographer Paul Little?
Is the pyramid in danger of being trampled by a dwarf?
Wow, only an hour and 8 minutes to go until it's 11:11 a.m. PST on 11/11/11(!!) I'm going to prepare myself to get a screengrab right at 11:11 and 11 seconds. Just imagine how much it'll be worth years from now.
So, Not_that_Dewey: Is Socorro burning?
No mass casualties to report, yet. The witching hour has come and gone, just like in Giza, and people are still standing in line to buy lottery tickets and corn syrup cakes and driving two blocks to a different parking space and watching the new Anderson Cooper "talk show". Everything is normal.
I even told my mom about Pope Gregory XIII and the extra weeks and Jesus being born 3 or 4 years after he was born and leapseconds and everything and she's STILL freaked out. Some people.
Their sports writer is burning a huge meta pile of sports cliche and cultural reference in an article about Socorro vs. Silver City in 3A highschool football. And that's just in the first three grafs.
Epic! (Unlike the game itself.)
"I sliced bread this weekend and almost forgot how fascinating it can be."
"And if we're talking about football nirvana, the Warriors ended up like Kurt Cobain."
You just can't find better writing than this, anywhere.
I haven't been this excited since 1/1/2011
In honor of the numerology, I slept until 11.
"you can't really dust for vomit."
111111 in binary is 63…which was Hitler's sleep number.
This belongs in the Numerology Hall of Fame.
That one went to eleven.
Upfists forever!
Reagan was President when the film was released. He was a big fan. His favourite Tap album was said to be "Shark Sandwich"
I think this 11-11-11 meme might be the lowest hanging fruit of all memes ever. Starting seeing it pop up a couple days ago and said to myself, "Okay, I am bored. Aren't there any other 11 jokes?"
Also, I'm only posting because I haven't in a while(too busy, depressed) and I don't want my p score to go down again.
If you were a more diligent poster your p score might have been at 111 right now – think on that!
I've been posting, and my score is stuck at 90, and has been for practically forever. Are we sure the system is actually working?
Which remainds me: whenever I see a picture of Bristol Palin, I can't help but think of a cocktail waitress on an oil rig.
Time to bust out the zucchini. The 11 incher, of course.
Armistice Day will come again next year.
Unless you're planning to live another 100 years, THIS IS NIGEL TUFNEL DAY!
~
It's all coming down on 12/12/12 … to be followed by 1/3/13, until it all adds up to 666, or 999. Pass the booze.
I don't know, "numerology rituals" sound about as fun as a dual Bachmanm/Palin speech, and as exciting as that GOP-dropout guy (can't remember name…).
babies and mothers die during the operations, and when about half of those marriages end in divorce
Guess who else reads Ken Layne posts.
Hitler?
11/11/…..and what's that third number….um…..yeah….oh wait there's FIVE, oh c'mon help me out here….hahahaha
Oops…
Nigil sounds British…
Oh, please. Those rumors about Egypt are just a Pyramid scheme.
Let us know how the tryout for Andy Rooney's spot goes, Ken.
In honor of this day, here is the greatest version of "Big Bottom" ever recorded.
http://www.myspace.com/edmundwelles/music/songs/b...
i don't know which is better really, but i have now wasted an hour on spinal tap.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xlf5ucFanpY
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vbi5Zegp55o&fe...
This is the only version of the Boccherini Minuet that I could find:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I8wUD6egjQc
mih ssiM .mih ssiM .mih ssiM .daed si legiN
Lick My Love Pump.
True story: The first time I saw Spinal Tap was in the movie theater in Chapel Hill, where I then worked for the plantation*cough*university. During the scene in the movie that took place in Chapel Hill (when Nigel got all stressed out over the sandwiches), the audience sat in reverent silence, which annoyed me, because believe me, Chapel Hill isn't THAT great. When the manager said, "It's only a cracker college anyway", I was so shocked that I laughed like HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW!!!
Everybody in the theater turned around and gave me a dirty look. Totally worth it.
You say that like it's a bad thing.
525 MI Group, attached to ARVN, Cu Chi and points west, Jan '68 to Jan '69. Worked a lot with the Wolfhounds, 27th Reg, 25th Inf – the Tropic Lightning Electric Strawberry.
A buddy from my squadron wrangled us a ride for the half-hour hop from NKP to Udorn on some general’s jet they were deadheading back. The crew chief put the officers (even the newly-minted 2d Lts like me) in the back, and had the enlisted men up front. He raged at some poor mechanic who had the temerity to bring his toolbox in the cabin. Then he came back and said to us, “If you use the bathroom, which you’re perfectly welcome to do, please be sure to let me know. Thank you for your cooperation.” He went up front and snarled, “If any of you monkeys uses the general’s latrine you’re going to lick it out afterwards, understand?”
Scrupulous attendance to the maintenance of general officers and aircraft is what makes our United States Air Force* the wonder that it is.
_____________
*World’s most expensive flying club!
Mission accomplished!
The site's still out there at Helemano in the pineapple fields north of Schofield Barracks, just north of the underground aircraft factory, but has been converted to contractor-operated family housing. Hawaii contains many military wonders, including Red Hill.
Even the civilians can parse that pretty easily except maybe the Army of the Republic of Viet Nam (ARVN) part.
Oh well; it's common knowledge that a General Officer's shit doesn't stink anyway.
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