Because of the great dishonor now associated with being a United States military veteran under the Kenyan Usurper Barack Obama, the Pentagon decided to change Veterans Day to Nigel Tufnel Day — you know, because it’s 11/11/11 according to a particular reading of the Western calendar, and because Nigel Tufnel was a historical druid saint of the past who could take things all the way to 11. And this, obviously, led to the “Arab Spring” government of Egypt to briefly stop killing protesters so it could close the Great Pyramid of the God King Pharoah Khufu, thanks to an “Internet campaign” against Internet rumors that unknown persons would conduct numerology rituals in Khufu’s pyramid, because of 11/11/11. Ever get the feeling you’ve been cheated?
It’s 2011, so by certain shorthand renderings of the year Two Thousand and Eleven, you have “11.” Alongside the numerals for the eleventh month and eleventh day (or vice versa, if you live in a better country than America), it makes “11/11/11,” which obviously means, according to the BBC, that “hospitals have reported a surge of bookings for Caesarean births and wedding venues have been having a busy day as well.” It will be sad when a certain percentage of those babies and mothers die during the operations, and when about half of those marriages end in divorce (in America, at least). But that’s how it goes with the Lucky Numbers, sometimes!
Let’s look back at the life and times of that great hero of Reaganomics, the “Austrian School” economist/voodoo druid Nigel Tufnel, who explained how one could change reality by simply changing the metric used to measure reality:
“Well, it’s one louder, isn’t it? It’s not 10. You see, most blokes, you know, will be playing at 10. You’re on 10 here, all the way up, all the way up, all the way up, you’re on 10 on your guitar. Where can you go from there? Where?”
But what about the “Internet campaign” to stop the “Internet rumors” of 11/11/11 rituals taking place within the Great Pyramid? And why would the Great Pyramid care about the Gregorian Calendar date of November 11, 2011?
Security was tightened across the entire complex, Associated Press news agency said, with dozens of police officers and armed soldiers on patrol.
After 11:11, the director of the pyramids complex, Ali al-Asfar, said nothing unusual had happened.
“Everything is normal,” he told AP.
The hell it is!