Irredeemable doofus James O’Keefe still thinks of himself as some kind of right-wing Sacha Baron Cohen-type genius prankster, but he’s *struggling* a little bit these days with subject matter. His latest SCOOP involves pouting about a dismissive email that a Columbia Journalism professor sent him with some swears in it, leading O’Keefe to try to get the dean of student affairs at the Columbia J-school to admit to “standing behind profanity-laced emails.” Instead, the dean, Sree Sreenivasan, and other people in the room just start to giggle at him.

O’Keefe makes a butthurt face and gets flustered when they start to record him asking his dim questions (WEIRD HOW THAT WORKS), and they ask him why he’s not in costume. “Oh, so you DO like curse words?” is about all he can muster.

From Sreenivasan’s post to Twitter after the exchange:

If you don’t recognize this guy, his best known appearance is as a pimp…. 11ish am today, James O’Keefe, the guy whose undercover videos did damage to ACORN and NPR, showed up at my office hours at Columbia Journalism School, camera rolling. He wanted to ask about his recent entanglements with my colleague Dale Maharidge (Google it) and to make other allegations. So halfway through, I started videotaping him on my iPhone. After he was done with me, I should have kept rolling, because they get to the exit and find they can’t open it. He says, “Have they locked us in?” Turns out they were pulling the door instead of pushing it.

Oh the glory days of the O’Keefe dildo and lube scandals. Dildos: easier to operate than a door, if you are a fucking moron! [Gawker]

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  • DrunkIrishman

    James O'Keefe is the Jan Brady of American politics.

  • Tundra Grifter

    So it ends – not with a bang, but with a simper.

    • O'Keefe is Simper Pee all the way.

    • user-of-owls

      Well, a simp at the very least.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      This sad thing probably spends his most joyful nights rubbing one out to Ashton Kutcher "Punk'd" episodes he taped on VHS over while in junior high.

    • Negropolis

      Simper is such an awesome word. It's why you only bring it out on special occassions. Well done, Grifter.

      • Tundra Grifter


        You are too kind. Thank you!

    • Not_So_Much

      He may as well just start shuffling around with his pants around his ankles.

    • Lionel[redacted]Esq

      Since O'Keefe works for Breitbart, I'm pretty sure it will end in a bang one way or another.

  • Some things just make you happy.

    • Dudleydidwrong

      He's like a Slinky: doesn't do anything useful but it puts a smile on your face when you push it down the stairs.

    • valgal2342

      That so made me happy.

  • memzilla

    I saw this Junior Turdblossom on CSPAN the other day. I wished their Avid editor had supered some Perez Hilton jizz-drool to the corner of his mouth.

    • Arken

      AVID editors? Are you sure? I was assuming since it was C-SPAN they were using something like Windows Movie Maker.

  • Antispandex

    'Dildos: easier to operate than a door, if you are a fucking moron! "

    I think for wingers it's even money.

  • Gainsbourg69

    He says, “Have they locked us in?” Turns out they were pulling the door instead of pushing it.

    This dork thought he was going to break into a Senator's office James Bond style and get away with it?

    • OzoneTom

      Effin' Doors, How Do They Work?

      Like that guy trying to make his escape after yelling at Elizabeth Warren, and Dubya in Beijing.

      • Blueb4sunrise

        See, if you were real filmologicalists, you'd recognize that O'Keefe was just incorporating a spontaneous 'tribute' to those previous classics.

        • OzoneTom

          Not to mention the Gary Larson cartoon.

          • anniegetyerfun

            Was hoping Wonkette had magically acquired powers that would allow me to post images. Alas.

          • emmelemm

            That never gets old.

        • I knew THAT. (looks around to see if anyone noticed)

      • TheMightyHaltor

        The people go in the people go out. You can't explain it.

    • SorosBot

      But haven't we all mistakenly pulled or pushed a door when we should do the other? I know I have – although I've always realized the mistake after a few seconds, not assumed that someone had locked me in instead.

      • tihond

        From now on, I'm just going to assume the man his trying to lock me in using his advanced "push/pull" technology.

      • Usually, one either pushes or pulls and, upon meeting resistance, reverses the direction. As you point out, it takes a few seconds. Certainly not long enough to bleat foolishly about being locked in.

        The guy's a dweeb and a loser, and if NotSoBrightBart weren't reaming his behind regularly, he'd still be jerking off to celebrity porn in Dad's basement.

      • Gainsbourg69

        Now yous can't leave.

    • Tundra Grifter

      Not to mention thinking he was going to lure a real young lady onto his boat.

      This Dexter couldn't get a date with a blow-up doll.

  • DonnyKerabotsos

    That shit made my day.

  • the_problem_child

    Poor l'il Jimmy really has to pee.

    • Pity they didn't *really* lock him in and then all approach him with their iPhones held out slowly backing him up against the door.

      He'd be sniveling like a baby inside ten seconds.

  • iburl

    If only the left wing was as evil as the right, we'd have our own "pimps" trying to wiretap senators, shut down entire right wing organizations with heavily edited videos of their most clueless staffers, and trying to seduce some of the thousands of blonde Fox News bimbos. Too bad nobody in the entire left wing is that deluded and pathetic.

    • or independently wealthy

    • real_dc_native

      You wouldn't even have to edit the videos of right wingers. As you said evil.

    • spareme

      I KNEW there had to be a reason for Faus to keep all those blondes

    • anniegetyerfun

      I have offered repeated to be this deluded person for the Left, but no one (not even Soros!) has been willing to foot the bill.

    • Tundra Grifter


      On a more basic level, have you ever received a chain email full of lies about any GNoP'ee candidate, conservative, reactionary – et. al.?

      We don't have to deal in lies to make our points.

    • Nostrildamus

      On the other hand, knowing there were a few undercover lefties out there with video cameras might circumscribe the actions of RW crooks a bit.

    • Gleem_McShineys

      Evidence that the wealthy have entirely too much spare money sitting around, when they can fully fund thinktanks that pay for the antics of complete douchebags like O'Keefe and Andrew "Tighty Breitty" Breitbart.

    • Isyaignert

      Fuk the fake pimps, all the left has to do is tell WHAT THE ACTUAL GOP FUKS are actually doing.To wit: David "Diaper" Vitter, prostitute toe sucker Dick Morris, serial adulterer Gnewt Gingrich, oh h3ll, here's the list:

  • UpstateYorkee

    It's almost sad. O'Keefe's whole schtick has devolved into a classic Gary Larson cartoon…

    • Blueb4sunrise

      Gary Larson LIBEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      • HempDogbane

        James O'Keefe School for the Gifted. I love that one.

        • iburl

          The Far Side cartoon of a young Acorn Pimp you all refer to:

          • littlebigdaddy

            Damn you iburl, I went and found that myself.

  • Terry

    Why isn't he in jail for trying to wiretap Senator Landrieu's office in New Orleans?

    • Chichikovovich

      Hasn't he violated his probation at least a dozen times by now? Is this an example of the "revolving door sending law breakers back on the streets" that right wingers talk about? If it is, I can see why they find it so annoying.

      • the_problem_child

        Except he can't figure out how a regular door works…

        • NorthStarSpanx

          His time served would count against all the time he spent trying to mentally get up the nerve to exit the revolving door the way my toddler readies himself to jump from the escalator to the base.

        • I don't think he'd do so good with teh revolving ones either.

          Fuckin' doors, how do they work? Fuckin' Juggalo-in-training.

      • SorosBot

        It's an example of what happens when a federal crime is committed by a guy whose daddy is a US attorney. Justice for alll indeed.

  • user-of-owls

    No worse fate can befall a man than to be surrounded by giggling souls.

    • 'Specially when they're pointing at you know who.

      • MzNicky

        Also especially when the dickhead thinks he's the one who's really doing some serious gotcha journamalism shit.

  • pinkocommi

    Sree means "bad ass" in Hindi and this guy's name is Sree Sreenivasan, so how do think it went for James O’Keefe?

    • HempDogbane

      Badass Badassovitch?

      • iburl


        • WhatTheHeck

          Yes, Sree.

          • Geminisunmars

            I love what you did.

    • Chichikovovich

      Thanks – I know a guy whose last name is Sreenivasan. I'll put this info. to good use.

    • comrad_darkness

      They hate us for our Sreedom.

    • Er … no, it doesn't. Sri means "blessed," actually.

      • Geminisunmars

        Shhhh… Don't spoil it for them.

        • The funniest part is, Sri Srinivasan is undoubtedly South Indian, which means, most likely, not a native Hindi speaker. His name is derived from Sanskrit (as a good many Indian names are), so he won't have the first clue if someone approaches him and starts punning in Hindi.

          • anniegetyerfun

            Uppar kya hain, dude? Don't harsh our buzz like that.

          • Arre, ki hangama korbe! Tumi jano na kaun rokom hoi holla hobe, baba. Bolchi ami.

          • Salam Bombay

            That's Bengali

          • Barrelhse

            For a moment I thought it was Herman Cain.

          • BornInATrailer

            If somebody asks me "Do you know who Sree-Sree-Niv-A-San" is I'll say "No, do you?"

          • And how will that create one job? Other than a blow job, of course.

          • Needs MOAR genital groping or head-in-crotch-stuffing.

          • Well, yes, of course. Bangla I know, Hindi, only enough to watch bad movies.

            Aapni Bangali ki?

          • anniegetyerfun

            Can I ask my husband to translate that for me, or is it filthy? And if it's filthy, will it improve my sex life?

          • Absolutely, na! I don't say filthy things to married ladies, baapre!

            Tell him if he has trouble with Romanised Bangla, we'll just have to duke it out. As for improving the sex life, just tell the bugger, na, according to Muslim doctrine a wife has the right to demand sexual satisfaction from the husband. My Muslim lady friends assure me that this is the case. (WTF would I know?)

          • anniegetyerfun

            That is true – I used to be a practicing Muslim. As a current atheist married to an agnostic, I doubt that that will hold much water, though. I'll try just walking around naked, instead.

          • I think you should tell him, "Baba, get your act together or I'm going to be nengta-bengta from now on in this house."

            I'm betting this will lead to lots of chasing around furniture. (Hey, it works for me!)

          • not that Dewey

            I am become death; destroyer of words.

      • HempDogbane

        Blessedy Blessedsdotter?

        • I'm not sure what Srinivasen means, and unwilling to climb up the stepstool to fetch my big Sanskrit dictionary and check. Sry.

          Sri is also another name for the Godess Lakshmi, so it has all kinds of benevolent connotations: blessed, glorious, divine, etc. For example, it's often used as an honorific, as in Sri Panditji. Srinivasen, I'm not sure. It might derive from a different root than Sri.

          • Salam Bombay

            Sreenivasan is a one of the names of Lord Vishnu.

          • Dok-cupy Everything

            Not much. Vishnu with you?

          • Tai na ki? Bishesh dhoniabad.

            I think I meant "bohod achcha." I can never remember which one to use formally, and which one informally, since I haven't spoken Bangla to another living soul for well on 20 years now. Eh, I'm sure you'll help me out.

  • owhatever

    No fair! You can't take movie pictures of me looking like an asshole while I am taking pictures of you and pretending to be a real person. And stop the giggling! And why have you trapped us in this dungeon? I'm going home. You'll be sorry. Mommy, make them stop!

  • GuanoFaucet

    Have they locked us in?

    Get used to being locked in a room, fucker, because someday soon your next costume will be a prison uniform.

  • Holy fuck James you prissy dipshit. Upset because some motherfucking libtard starts throwing down shit, ass, bastard, shitfuck, fuckshit and motherfuck in some goddamn e-fucking-mails? Motherfucking assholish limp dick pussy.

    • It takes some powerful choot-spa to howl about "curse words" after posing as a pimp with an underdressed teen at your side, on camera, trying to bamboozle Acorn-Americans.

      • Geminisunmars

        What a meshugga motherfucker!

    • Callyson

      I like to think I have mad skillz when it comes to cursing, but I bow to perfection.

    • Dudleydidwrong

      I love it when you talk dirty.

    • WhatTheHeck

      Manchu, I think you covered all the profanities there. But I'll sree your expletives and raise you the mother of all profanities, as far as O’Keefe is concerned: “Boring strumpet.”

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Next stop, O'Keefe gets beat up by an old, mostly blind Jewish lady with a walker at an "Occupy Newark" event.

      Have your iPhones ready, folks.

    • MzNicky

      Please send this verbatim by email to Mr. O'Keefe! Pretend you are a journalism professor somewhere. Sign it "Love, Manchu." Then we all show up with video cams!

  • ProgressiveInga

    Looks like J O'K is wearing Penn State colors.

    Too soon?

    • I am holding out for State Penn colors.

    • real_dc_native


    • billy_reuben

      Right on time

    • Negropolis

      Shame and Self-Loathing are really great colors that fit this faux-pimp.

    • Dok-cupy Everything

      More like Midvale School for the Gifted colors

  • Needz moar Storage Lockers!!!!

  • Schmannnity

    What a pussy! "Do you stand behind profanity-laced emails?" Is that a poll or did you lace panties get in a wad when your tender sensibilities were "offended."

    • spends2much

      "I'm Spends2much, and I stand behind profanity-laced emails." And comments, too, fuck yeah!

    • Barrelhse

      Jimmy:"Gosh that gets my goat!"

  • coolhandnuke

    Truly a Festivus miracle that this fuckpuppet made it to NYC instead of wandering Bogota looking for the Professor–or Gilligan.

  • freakishlywrong

    In the immortal words of:Nelson Mutnz: Ha ha! (asshtat)

  • rocktonsam

    well , this sure as hell won't get you laid James.
    Your parents must be so proud, go back to your room and stay there you little twerp.

  • Callyson

    That reporter from CNN that this clown thought he could seduce (on a boat, with a dildo) is LHFAO…

  • "Not in entire forgetfulness,
    And not in utter nakedness,
    But trailing clouds of ignominy do we come —
    From Kochdom come! — who is our home."

    – James O'Keefe

  • Mahousu

    Door opens in, door opens out. You can't explain it.

    • MzNicky

      It's hard, like math and stuff.

  • Rotundo_

    Looks like the beginning of the tragic phase of Jimmy's career, another 5 years and he'll be sitting in a frozen puddle of his piss muttering about taking out ACORN while people around him wonder what the fuck the drunk piece of shit is talking about. I can jus see him shouting to no one in particular: "I wuzza up and coming star in conservative media" as a fresh burst of steam errupts from the crotch of his tattered dockers.

    • Then Herman Cain will whip out two large (bills not Koch) and push James' head aggressively to his crotch.

      • chicken_thief

        Reviving his classic line "you want a job, don't you?".

    • spareme

      Mebbe the Tea Bagger douches in Tennessee can help him fund this great adventure

    • I coulda bin a contenDUH!!!

      • Geminisunmars

        Gee Whiz, Burnit. I thought the same thing. We must be another sibling from another mother, or something.

        • One egg, two sprog. I'm happy to accept you as my sibling.

          • Geminisunmars

            I've finally found my other.

          • :-)

            Since we're now siblings, I just scheduled my surgery today. Let's enjoy the hell out of each other till I get dragged off and cut up. (We've got about a month.)

          • Geminisunmars

            WHAT?? What's going on? Do you need my kidney?

          • Oh, NO, no, no, no, nothing that serious. I'm healthy as a horse, I just have a gimpy leg. My knee got destroyed in a very minor accident (some people just have structural defects that don't show up until a well-placed tap causes them to fall apart). I had it replaced a couple years ago, but it's been causing problems and now the surgeon tells me it needs cutting on.

            I'm not thrilled, and it will be painful, but given that everyone else I know has something horrible, or incurable, or outright agonizing, I don't feel justified in whining TOO much about it, but fuck, if I can't whine occasionally, life ain't gonna be worth living.

            I'm just not looking forward to being strapped into that awful machine for eight hours a day, which is what you have to do when you have knee surgery. They want you to keep the joint moving immediately after the cutting and before they even take the stitches out.

            Enough with the kvetching already, let's kvell.

          • Geminisunmars

            It would be swell to kvell avec toi.

          • ChessieNefercat

            See, this is why I like Wonkette. The articles are just a jumping off point for the comments. :)

  • Judith_Priest

    I was going to say something clever, but is it OK if I just say this:

    James O'Keefe is a nasty little liar, a pompous ass, and a fucking cunt.


    Cenk Uygur deconstructs O'Keefe's finest work, in which he believes himself to be channeling Michael Jackson, as bovine sorority girls attempt to "shake it":

    • I was just *starting* to, you know, like you and stuff.

      Now I will hate you with a soul-searing hatred. At least unless and until you figure out how to wipe that horrible, horrible memory from my brain.

      Srsly, that dumbass wore the same fake-fur swing coat he wore in his pimp appearances? And he thinks he can DANCE? And SING? Sweet suffering Christ.

  • Hey shithead, time to quit!

  • NorthStarSpanx

    Maybe it would have helped if Jimmy brought wine, his portable "palace of pleasure" and the promise of a job, Herb Cain style.

  • OMG!!!! Professors at Columbia are talking about the need to reelect President Obama? Quick, Queef, break out the sequins and stilettos and cone bra! You've got some undercover work to do on this earth-shattering, mind-blowing, economy-ruining story of intrigue. I smell a Pulitzer – or maybe he just strained too hard trying to open the door the wrong way and shit his pants a little.

    • comrad_darkness

      *Talking* about electing a democrat is 1000x worse than a network that organizes rallies on the DC mall for republicans.

    • Sharts do tend to explode out any old santorum.

  • poncho_pilot

    James O'Keefe: Professional Clown Shoe.

  • BarackMyWorld

    He's like a immoral, wingnut Jimmy Olsen, trying to make a name as a journalist by dressing up in silly costumes and disguises, without a Superman to bail him out when he gets caught (in this case by an unlocked door).

    • iburl

      No Superman, but I believe that Bill O'Reilly is still his Perry White at the Daily Ailesnet.

    • MzNicky

      Edward R. Murrow wept.

  • Negropolis

    L-oh-fuckin-L! He punked his ass with much gusto! What worst respect than snickering at the guy that's supposed to be the aggressor. James looked like a child amongst adults; I almost felt a little sad for him.

    After he was done with me, I should have kept rolling, because they get to the exit and find they can’t open it. He says, “Have they locked us in?” Turns out they were pulling the door instead of pushing it.


    • poncho_pilot

      i love how pissed he was by the end and the way he tries to escape quickly when he realizes it's not going the way he hoped. too fucking good.

  • user-of-owls

    Irredeemable doofus James O’Keefe

    Oh dear, Kirsten. You'll be hearing shortly from the United Brotherhood of Doofuses, Blockheads & Oafs Local 138 and they will not be happy.

    • Ruhe

      Not likely. The UB of DB&Os just lost their collective bargaining rights in a referendum and now they're trying to lay low to avoid getting whacked any further.

      • user-of-owls

        I'm dubious of your assertion, given that the DB&Os spend a great deal of their time whacking themselves in various comical ways.

        • Ruhe

          I think I'm telegraphing my pitches.

  • Joshua Norton

    O'Keefe is truly an artist when asshat is his medium.

  • He's kind of Alex P Keaton meets the kid who sat alone at lunch.

  • nonbeliever7

    Shorter JO'K; "Everyone come look. I have a tiny dick."

  • MilwaukeeKent

    O'Keefe doesn't like the swears? Well, fuck him and his mother, his father and the guy who thinks he's his father.

    • Fuck his dirty little cocksucking mouth with the same dick that fucked his father's ass, that son of a syphilitic whore with ten thousand camels for a father.

  • Put in a call to Dan Savage. We need a definition for the common noun "o'keefe."

    I am thinking maybe some kind of pustule on the penile shaft caused by friction and Pringles dust.

    • poncho_pilot

      o'keefe. n. the sound of hot air escaping the puckered mouth of a frightened, muckraking journalist?

    • littlebigdaddy

      That's disgusting. There's no worse snack food on the planet than Pringles.

    • Oh my. What a delightful mental image.

    • Negropolis

      Hows about an James "O'Queef"?

  • Guppy

    I anxiously await O'Keefe's own video of the event.

    I'm thinking it will run about 7 seconds.

    • Fare la Volpe


  • spareme

    What a complete waste of student loan money. Oh wait…is he a student? Of anything? Really?

  • Negropolis

    Bless his heart. If born a dog, James would have been a sad, little cockapoo with his tail between his legs after confronting someone who turned out to be a pit bull.

  • Fare la Volpe

    "Why aren't you dressed in some of your other costumes?"
    "I'm a chameleon. I adopt many different roles."

    I was really hoping the prof would say, "Oh! So today you're dressed as a journalist."

    • MilwaukeeKent

      He's certainly in the Reptile family…

    • No journalist would be caught dead in that sweater. Very few humans either, also.

  • Indiepalin

    Gotta wonder how O'Keefe can even find his camera, buried as it is underneath all those Pulitzers…

  • SayItWithWookies

    Poor little James O'Keefe — didn't his mama tell him that you can make a prick and a liar out of a reporter, but you can't make a reporter out of a prick and a liar?

  • orygoon

    Who would ever have guessed that ammatur jernelist Jimmy-O would come off the worse if he were in a confrontation with a J-School prof at Columbia?

  • DahBoner

    James "ammatur jernelis" O'Keefe : And what is this?
    Store Clerk (played by Jan Brady): That's cheese.
    O'Keefe : And what of this?
    Jan Brady: That's cheese…
    O'Keefe: And this?
    Jan Brady: That's cheese…
    O'Keefe: And what is this? Rice?
    Jan Brady: No that's cheese, this is all cheese here.
    O'Keefe: But this say "Crackers", this not cheese.
    Jan Brady morphs into Nancy "Princess" Pelosi: No Crackers is the brand, that's cheese…
    O'Keefe: OK, in that case, I like to make sexy time!

  • Wasn't O'Keefe worried that a roomful of librul professors would turn him into a lesbian?

  • El Pinche

    Needs more Mexican cartels.

  • Haven't his parents taken away his allowance yet?

    • Gainsbourg69

      He's still on the dole.

    • comrad_darkness

      They probably doubled it because he whined at them.

    • Generation[redacted]

      More importantly, why have his parents not posted a youtube telling him that they ate all his Halloween candy?

      • Big Baby James on Kimmel whining about Reese's Cups?!? No-o-o-o-o!!!!

  • 102415

    I think everyone should ask him all the time everyday why he is not in one of his funny costumes. Refuse to speak to him until he puts on the clown nose.

  • BZ1

    Not being religious, but I do believe there is a special place in hell for James O’Keefe.

  • anniegetyerfun

    Well, I guess it's settled. Michael Cera can play O'Keefe in his devastating biopic, if Cera agrees to stop eating for a week beforehand.

  • BigDumbRedDog

    So that's what a gigantic asshole looks like. Now I know.

  • Radio99%

    O/T, Holy flying fuzzfuck, I just watched the Daily Show tonite. And I was like, how could he make the Perry implosion funnier? I was coughing up Reese's and pieces of lard laughing so hard.

    • Negropolis

      It really was brilliant. In fact, the entire show was hilarious, well, save for the Sandler interview, surprisingly. I didn't know Adam had an off button, but it appears he does. Colbert was also exceptionally funny, too, especially on the story about UC Berkeley. Both of them cut very deep, tonight.

      • Radio99%

        Yeah, I was never a Sandler fan. He switches too easily from bully to sad clown, meh. He also took a deep shot at those pitiful Penn St. loser students. It made me think of Riley and kids who aren't sheepish and superficial.

        • not that Dewey

          Mrs Dewey cringes whenever I listen to Radiohead because she thinks Thom Yorke sounds like Adam Sandler. Her hatred of Adam Sandler is so intense that it prevents her from appreciating anything else.

          • I have just fallen in love with Mrs. Dewey. We are running away together as soon as I recharge my wheelchair battery, if she says yes. She is clearly a woman of great good sense and taste.

          • not that Dewey

            You're gonna run away with my whole family and I'll be left sitting here all alone with my cats and my no tv and my bottle of cardio-health multivitamins, and then what will I do?

          • JOIN US, of course! We'll ALL run away together!

            It'll be fun, like when I was a kid and used to get mad at my parents. We'd run away from home, but usually no further than the backyard or some neighbouring patch of land.

            Of course, it was kinda embarassing when you had to come home for lunch or to use the baffroom, but we'll all be together, so we won't be embarrassed. Strength in numbers!

            Bring the cats.

          • not that Dewey

            Get in the car, cats! We're goin' for a ride!

          • {Hugs ntD most squeezingly}

            Just got the OK from my surgeon's office. Getting my leg sliced in one month. The cats will be SO miserable, they won't have ME to torment for a while. I'll have to get out my Made-in-Taiwan Boxing Nun to keep them in line while I recuperate.

          • not that Dewey

            I learned, after my hernia surgery, that cats like nothing more than for us to be laid up in bed for a month. "He finally gets it!", they said.

            Good luck with that; I'm sure we'll speak again before the Big Day, anyway.

          • I am being licked to death by Bandicoot as I reply here. I had to devise a contraption to cover my knee because ALL the little bastids wanted to sleep ON it after the first surgery. The whole thing's stitched and bandaged to high heaven and I don't know why they can't use self-dissolving stitches, but there ya go. So one needs to construct some sort of tent that is solid enough for the little shits to leap on and off it without causing pain, yet large enough to cover all the dressings, bandages, and tubes, and not so lar … well, you get my drift. The boxing nun annoys them no end, especially when it connects. I just pray they'll stop their three am "galloping at high speed and top volume through the house" routine for a few weeks. Nothing's worse than being woken up from the fitful sleep that painkillers induce, and I hate taking sleeping meds.

            It's ridiculous how many medical appointments I have to have before the surgery. And I'm an exceedingly healthy individual. I can't imagine what people with actual health problems have to endure.

      • Geminisunmars

        We don't get Jon & Stephen until the next day (unless we want to stay up very late) so I'll be looking forward to it. We almost never miss them though. They have done more to help us keep what little sanity we've maintained through these last years — as well as Wonkies.

    • We need to talk about your diet, Radio.

  • So, how is this type of nonsense not violating O'Keefe's probation yet again?

  • Negropolis

    That'll do, pig; that'll do.

    • Ruhe

      That part makes me cry a little.

      • Negropolis

        It's a crime they make small children read such a sad story and then watch it. lol

  • ShaveTheWhales

    /snark off, because what would be the point after that video?

    This shows the perfect way to deal with lightweight douchebags like O'Keefe. Eventually, it reduced him to just delivering a monologue, which he could have done in his mom's basement. It'll probably go over with the brain-impaired segment of the right, but that would be true if he did it in his mom's basement, so net zero.

  • dennis1943

    I love happy endings………………

  • ttommyunger

    S' OK. James immediately retreated to the Cain camp where the Herminator lovingly put his head in his lap and comforted him.

  • Limeylizzie

    I can walk to Columbia form my apartment in about 20 minutes, I should go and give this man a Wonkette award of some kind. This further proves my theory of yesterday that laughing in the face of fury always wins.

  • Negropolis

    You know, the venerable Three 6 Mafia said that it's hard out here for a pimp. But, even O'Keefe didn't imagine it'd be this hard.

  • carlgt1

    at first I thought, if he barges into "private property" don't you have the all-American right to beat him to a pulp? Then I thought, perhaps just laughing at the loser is best….

  • __kth__

    A regular Jack Anderson, this one.

    • Tundra Grifter

      Jackoff Anderson.

      • Hmm. Is it possible that we might be twins even if we've never met?

        • Tundra Grifter


          You mean like Herman Cain and the Koch Bros.? Can I be the Black guy?

          Rude, crude and lewd – a dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste.

          • Sure, why not? On the InterToobz nobody knows your colour, gender, ethnicity, or species.

            I'm looking forward to the day when EVUHbody just lets bots Tweet and comment for them. Wild fun!

      • Negropolis

        Abram Jackemov.

  • DaRooster

    "Did they lock us in?"

    Really? Like anyone would ever wanna be be locked in with you.

  • SorosBot

    So has anyone at his mentor Breitbart's site mentioned this yet? Oh to see the Breitards make excuses for their fellow moron would be sweet. And you motherfucker, there's not a cocksucking thing wrong with bitchin' curse words, asshole.

    • Nesnora

      my favorites are compound curses that involve pastry, like titcake.

      • Geminisunmars

        That actually sounds kind of nice. Now – shitcake or sphincterlips or latkeface are fun compounds.

  • Tundra Grifter

    Happily, over at the little Turbo's website one can read his remarkably one-sided account of this misadventure. Kirsten plugged in the link.

    I left him a comment – my personal opinion of the episode.

  • chascates

    Soon to appear on all Breitbart sites:


  • Dumbedup

    what was the comment about his clothes "what are you wearing"? Giggle. What a tool.

  • prommie

    It was the end of W, that day he tried to leave the dais during a press conference in China, and wound up pulling on a locked door with a "stupid as fuck" look on his face.

    • Geminisunmars

      Who would have thought that the prosaic door could be such a potent weapon? I have gained a whole new outlook on the subject.

  • Nesnora


  • hagajim

    Li'l Jimmy couldn't open the door? Wait, doesn't this make him at least as qualified as W to be Preznit?

  • Chichikovovich

    The key is not just to make relentless fun of losers like O'Keefe for every second they are in front of you, but of the greatest importance is you must get it on camera. If O'Keefe controls the only video then you've already lost the battle, however thoroughly you might have shamed him in person. Remember the original ACORN thing, when one of the people he tried to victimize clearly recognized that he was a loser scam artist and told him things like (I can't remember the exact story, but it was something like:) "Oh, yeah, I killed my boyfriend and left his body in the office" etc. And this stuff was immediately, credulously reported by O'Keefe. Big Scandal – ACORN official a murderess! But when the local police made it clear that the story was fake, and the woman herself said "of course I was laughing at this dork" Breitbart, Fox etc. immediately memory-holed it. And now all people remember is the video O'Keefe wants them to remember. What I wouldn't give for an unedited video of O'Keefe nodding and gasping as he gets fed preposterous lie after preposterous lie by Ms. unsung ACORN heroine.

  • jmarsh04

    Oh, so news organizations promoting Obama's re-election is scandalous, according to O'Keefe. I should forward him some of the shit I get in my inbox from Newsmax. I'm sure James, in the interest of being an unbiased journalist, will immediately perform a sting operation over there next.

  • Isyaignert

    Dude's fugley; maybe that's why he's such a disagreeable douchebag.

    • True. Although I suspect his ugliness is more a reflection of his hideous personality, he doesn't have a whole lot of material to work with, does he?

  • telecustom1972

    Ladies and gentlemen the "Hunter S. Thompson of the re-tarded", Mr. James OKeefe!

  • sbj1964

    Computers hate me. An online site tried to hook me up with a woman who's profile read that she is a Ex-Muslim,Atheist,Militant feminist with latent Bi-sexual tendency's / Anarco -Communist who hates kids,but loves puppies,and long walks on the beach. I bet she is fun at party's?

  • SilverTsunami

    "Oh, I wear many different costumes," he simpered.

    I think I speak for all of us when I say, "EEUUW."

  • brightstarone

    Calling James O'Keefe – Calling James O'Keefe

    Your 15 minuets is just about up, go crawl back under you rock..

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