ANGRY CLOWNS  8:51 pm November 10, 2011

Sad Pimp James O’Keefe Mocked By His Interview Subjects (VIDEO)

by Kirsten Boyd Johnson

Irredeemable doofus James O’Keefe still thinks of himself as some kind of right-wing Sacha Baron Cohen-type genius prankster, but he’s *struggling* a little bit these days with subject matter. His latest SCOOP involves pouting about a dismissive email that a Columbia Journalism professor sent him with some swears in it, leading O’Keefe to try to get the dean of student affairs at the Columbia J-school to admit to “standing behind profanity-laced emails.” Instead, the dean, Sree Sreenivasan, and other people in the room just start to giggle at him.

O’Keefe makes a butthurt face and gets flustered when they start to record him asking his dim questions (WEIRD HOW THAT WORKS), and they ask him why he’s not in costume. “Oh, so you DO like curse words?” is about all he can muster.

From Sreenivasan’s post to Twitter after the exchange:

If you don’t recognize this guy, his best known appearance is as a pimp…. 11ish am today, James O’Keefe, the guy whose undercover videos did damage to ACORN and NPR, showed up at my office hours at Columbia Journalism School, camera rolling. He wanted to ask about his recent entanglements with my colleague Dale Maharidge (Google it) and to make other allegations. So halfway through, I started videotaping him on my iPhone. After he was done with me, I should have kept rolling, because they get to the exit and find they can’t open it. He says, “Have they locked us in?” Turns out they were pulling the door instead of pushing it.

Oh the glory days of the O’Keefe dildo and lube scandals. Dildos: easier to operate than a door, if you are a fucking moron! [Gawker]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 229 comments }

DrunkIrishman November 10, 2011 at 8:53 pm

James O'Keefe is the Jan Brady of American politics.

Come here a minute November 10, 2011 at 9:10 pm

Marsha, Marsha, Marsha!

HistoriCat November 11, 2011 at 9:20 am

Brady libel!

Terry November 11, 2011 at 10:36 am

I was thinking he's more like Geraldo Rivera's even stupider little brother.

HobbesEvilTwin November 11, 2011 at 5:46 pm

All I could think of was The Far Side cartoon
http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://mlkshk

Tundra Grifter November 10, 2011 at 8:54 pm

So it ends – not with a bang, but with a simper.

weejee November 10, 2011 at 8:59 pm

O'Keefe is Simper Pee all the way.

user-of-owls November 10, 2011 at 9:18 pm

Well, a simp at the very least.

Lascauxcaveman November 11, 2011 at 1:54 am

This sad thing probably spends his most joyful nights rubbing one out to Ashton Kutcher "Punk'd" episodes he taped on VHS over while in junior high.

Negropolis November 11, 2011 at 2:36 am

Simper is such an awesome word. It's why you only bring it out on special occassions. Well done, Grifter.

Tundra Grifter November 11, 2011 at 9:18 am

Negropolis:

You are too kind. Thank you!

Not_So_Much November 11, 2011 at 10:02 am

He may as well just start shuffling around with his pants around his ankles.

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 11, 2011 at 3:48 pm

Since O'Keefe works for Breitbart, I'm pretty sure it will end in a bang one way or another.

Fred_Wertham_Jr November 10, 2011 at 8:56 pm

Some things just make you happy.

Dudleydidwrong November 10, 2011 at 9:41 pm

He's like a Slinky: doesn't do anything useful but it puts a smile on your face when you push it down the stairs.

Negropolis November 10, 2011 at 10:25 pm

WIN

Fred_Wertham_Jr November 10, 2011 at 10:38 pm

Yep.

axmxz November 11, 2011 at 10:31 am

Wow. I am so stealing this.

valgal2342 November 11, 2011 at 12:36 am

That so made me happy.

memzilla November 10, 2011 at 8:59 pm

I saw this Junior Turdblossom on CSPAN the other day. I wished their Avid editor had supered some Perez Hilton jizz-drool to the corner of his mouth.

Arken November 11, 2011 at 8:59 am

AVID editors? Are you sure? I was assuming since it was C-SPAN they were using something like Windows Movie Maker.

Antispandex November 10, 2011 at 9:00 pm

'Dildos: easier to operate than a door, if you are a fucking moron! "

I think for wingers it's even money.

Gainsbourg69 November 10, 2011 at 9:00 pm

He says, “Have they locked us in?” Turns out they were pulling the door instead of pushing it.

This dork thought he was going to break into a Senator's office James Bond style and get away with it?

OzoneTom November 10, 2011 at 9:07 pm

Effin' Doors, How Do They Work?

Like that guy trying to make his escape after yelling at Elizabeth Warren, and Dubya in Beijing.

Blueb4sunrise November 10, 2011 at 9:14 pm

See, if you were real filmologicalists, you'd recognize that O'Keefe was just incorporating a spontaneous 'tribute' to those previous classics.

OzoneTom November 10, 2011 at 9:16 pm

Not to mention the Gary Larson cartoon.

anniegetyerfun November 11, 2011 at 12:59 am

Was hoping Wonkette had magically acquired powers that would allow me to post images. Alas.

Herring_Burnit November 10, 2011 at 11:38 pm

I knew THAT. (looks around to see if anyone noticed)

TheMightyHaltor November 10, 2011 at 9:21 pm

The people go in the people go out. You can't explain it.

SorosBot November 11, 2011 at 9:12 am

But haven't we all mistakenly pulled or pushed a door when we should do the other? I know I have – although I've always realized the mistake after a few seconds, not assumed that someone had locked me in instead.

tihond November 11, 2011 at 10:44 am

From now on, I'm just going to assume the man his trying to lock me in using his advanced "push/pull" technology.

Herring_Burnit November 11, 2011 at 1:08 pm

Usually, one either pushes or pulls and, upon meeting resistance, reverses the direction. As you point out, it takes a few seconds. Certainly not long enough to bleat foolishly about being locked in.

The guy's a dweeb and a loser, and if NotSoBrightBart weren't reaming his behind regularly, he'd still be jerking off to celebrity porn in Dad's basement.

Gainsbourg69 November 11, 2011 at 1:20 pm

Now yous can't leave.

Tundra Grifter November 11, 2011 at 9:24 am

Not to mention thinking he was going to lure a real young lady onto his boat.

This Dexter couldn't get a date with a blow-up doll.

DonnyKerabotsos November 10, 2011 at 9:01 pm

That shit made my day.

the_problem_child November 10, 2011 at 9:02 pm

Poor l'il Jimmy really has to pee.

Herring_Burnit November 10, 2011 at 11:39 pm

Pity they didn't *really* lock him in and then all approach him with their iPhones held out slowly backing him up against the door.

He'd be sniveling like a baby inside ten seconds.

iburl November 10, 2011 at 9:02 pm

If only the left wing was as evil as the right, we'd have our own "pimps" trying to wiretap senators, shut down entire right wing organizations with heavily edited videos of their most clueless staffers, and trying to seduce some of the thousands of blonde Fox News bimbos. Too bad nobody in the entire left wing is that deluded and pathetic.

4TheTurnstiles November 10, 2011 at 9:06 pm

or independently wealthy

real_dc_native November 10, 2011 at 9:31 pm

You wouldn't even have to edit the videos of right wingers. As you said evil.

spareme November 10, 2011 at 10:32 pm

I KNEW there had to be a reason for Faus to keep all those blondes

anniegetyerfun November 11, 2011 at 1:00 am

I have offered repeated to be this deluded person for the Left, but no one (not even Soros!) has been willing to foot the bill.

Tundra Grifter November 11, 2011 at 9:27 am

iburl:

On a more basic level, have you ever received a chain email full of lies about any GNoP'ee candidate, conservative, reactionary – et. al.?

We don't have to deal in lies to make our points.

Nostrildamus November 11, 2011 at 1:33 pm

On the other hand, knowing there were a few undercover lefties out there with video cameras might circumscribe the actions of RW crooks a bit.

Gleem_McShineys November 11, 2011 at 4:51 pm

Evidence that the wealthy have entirely too much spare money sitting around, when they can fully fund thinktanks that pay for the antics of complete douchebags like O'Keefe and Andrew "Tighty Breitty" Breitbart.

Isyaignert November 11, 2011 at 9:17 pm

Fuk the fake pimps, all the left has to do is tell WHAT THE ACTUAL GOP FUKS are actually doing.To wit: David "Diaper" Vitter, prostitute toe sucker Dick Morris, serial adulterer Gnewt Gingrich, oh h3ll, here's the list: http://www.ranker.com/list/republican-sex-scandal

UpstateYorkee November 10, 2011 at 9:07 pm

It's almost sad. O'Keefe's whole schtick has devolved into a classic Gary Larson cartoon…

Blueb4sunrise November 10, 2011 at 9:10 pm

Gary Larson LIBEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HempDogbane November 10, 2011 at 9:17 pm

James O'Keefe School for the Gifted. I love that one.

iburl November 10, 2011 at 10:23 pm

The Far Side cartoon of a young Acorn Pimp you all refer to: http://tinyurl.com/7am75dx

littlebigdaddy November 10, 2011 at 11:01 pm

Damn you iburl, I went and found that myself.

Terry November 10, 2011 at 9:11 pm

Why isn't he in jail for trying to wiretap Senator Landrieu's office in New Orleans?

Chichikovovich November 10, 2011 at 9:14 pm

Hasn't he violated his probation at least a dozen times by now? Is this an example of the "revolving door sending law breakers back on the streets" that right wingers talk about? If it is, I can see why they find it so annoying.

the_problem_child November 10, 2011 at 9:20 pm

Except he can't figure out how a regular door works…

NorthStarSpanx November 10, 2011 at 9:43 pm

His time served would count against all the time he spent trying to mentally get up the nerve to exit the revolving door the way my toddler readies himself to jump from the escalator to the base.

Herring_Burnit November 10, 2011 at 11:41 pm

I don't think he'd do so good with teh revolving ones either.

Fuckin' doors, how do they work? Fuckin' Juggalo-in-training.

SorosBot November 11, 2011 at 9:15 am

It's an example of what happens when a federal crime is committed by a guy whose daddy is a US attorney. Justice for alll indeed.

user-of-owls November 10, 2011 at 9:13 pm

No worse fate can befall a man than to be surrounded by giggling souls.

weejee November 10, 2011 at 9:44 pm

'Specially when they're pointing at you know who.

MzNicky November 11, 2011 at 7:12 am

Also especially when the dickhead thinks he's the one who's really doing some serious gotcha journamalism shit.

pinkocommi November 10, 2011 at 9:13 pm

Sree means "bad ass" in Hindi and this guy's name is Sree Sreenivasan, so how do think it went for James O’Keefe?

HempDogbane November 10, 2011 at 9:18 pm

Badass Badassovitch?

iburl November 10, 2011 at 10:13 pm

Yes!

WhatTheHeck November 10, 2011 at 11:41 pm

Yes, Sree.

Geminisunmars November 11, 2011 at 12:31 am

I love what you did.

Chichikovovich November 10, 2011 at 9:37 pm

Thanks – I know a guy whose last name is Sreenivasan. I'll put this info. to good use.

comrad_darkness November 10, 2011 at 10:40 pm

They hate us for our Sreedom.

Herring_Burnit November 10, 2011 at 11:41 pm

Er … no, it doesn't. Sri means "blessed," actually.

Geminisunmars November 11, 2011 at 12:32 am

Shhhh… Don't spoil it for them.

Herring_Burnit November 11, 2011 at 12:37 am

The funniest part is, Sri Srinivasan is undoubtedly South Indian, which means, most likely, not a native Hindi speaker. His name is derived from Sanskrit (as a good many Indian names are), so he won't have the first clue if someone approaches him and starts punning in Hindi.

anniegetyerfun November 11, 2011 at 1:01 am

Uppar kya hain, dude? Don't harsh our buzz like that.

not that Dewey November 11, 2011 at 10:46 am

I am become death; destroyer of words.

HempDogbane November 11, 2011 at 1:19 am

Blessedy Blessedsdotter?

Herring_Burnit November 11, 2011 at 1:29 am

I'm not sure what Srinivasen means, and unwilling to climb up the stepstool to fetch my big Sanskrit dictionary and check. Sry.

Sri is also another name for the Godess Lakshmi, so it has all kinds of benevolent connotations: blessed, glorious, divine, etc. For example, it's often used as an honorific, as in Sri Panditji. Srinivasen, I'm not sure. It might derive from a different root than Sri.

Salam Bombay November 11, 2011 at 5:46 am

Sreenivasan is a one of the names of Lord Vishnu.

owhatever November 10, 2011 at 9:16 pm

No fair! You can't take movie pictures of me looking like an asshole while I am taking pictures of you and pretending to be a real person. And stop the giggling! And why have you trapped us in this dungeon? I'm going home. You'll be sorry. Mommy, make them stop!

GuanoFaucet November 10, 2011 at 9:16 pm

Have they locked us in?

Get used to being locked in a room, fucker, because someday soon your next costume will be a prison uniform.

ManchuCandidate November 10, 2011 at 9:18 pm

Holy fuck James you prissy dipshit. Upset because some motherfucking libtard starts throwing down shit, ass, bastard, shitfuck, fuckshit and motherfuck in some goddamn e-fucking-mails? Motherfucking assholish limp dick pussy.

Spurning Beer November 10, 2011 at 9:26 pm

It takes some powerful choot-spa to howl about "curse words" after posing as a pimp with an underdressed teen at your side, on camera, trying to bamboozle Acorn-Americans.

Geminisunmars November 11, 2011 at 12:33 am

What a meshugga motherfucker!

Callyson November 10, 2011 at 9:34 pm

I like to think I have mad skillz when it comes to cursing, but I bow to perfection.

Dudleydidwrong November 10, 2011 at 9:44 pm

I love it when you talk dirty.

WhatTheHeck November 10, 2011 at 11:51 pm

Manchu, I think you covered all the profanities there. But I'll sree your expletives and raise you the mother of all profanities, as far as O’Keefe is concerned: “Boring strumpet.”

Lascauxcaveman November 11, 2011 at 1:25 am

Next stop, O'Keefe gets beat up by an old, mostly blind Jewish lady with a walker at an "Occupy Newark" event.

Have your iPhones ready, folks.

MzNicky November 11, 2011 at 7:17 am

Please send this verbatim by email to Mr. O'Keefe! Pretend you are a journalism professor somewhere. Sign it "Love, Manchu." Then we all show up with video cams!

ProgressiveInga November 10, 2011 at 9:18 pm

Looks like J O'K is wearing Penn State colors.

Too soon?

Spurning Beer November 10, 2011 at 9:26 pm

I am holding out for State Penn colors.

real_dc_native November 10, 2011 at 9:33 pm

no

billy_reuben November 10, 2011 at 10:21 pm

Right on time

Negropolis November 10, 2011 at 10:29 pm

Shame and Self-Loathing are really great colors that fit this faux-pimp.

Dok-cupy Everything November 11, 2011 at 10:36 am

More like Midvale School for the Gifted colors

johnnyzhivago November 10, 2011 at 9:18 pm

Needz moar Storage Lockers!!!!

Schmannnity November 10, 2011 at 9:24 pm

What a pussy! "Do you stand behind profanity-laced emails?" Is that a poll or did you lace panties get in a wad when your tender sensibilities were "offended."

spends2much November 10, 2011 at 10:13 pm

"I'm Spends2much, and I stand behind profanity-laced emails." And comments, too, fuck yeah!

Barrelhse November 11, 2011 at 10:35 am

Jimmy:"Gosh that gets my goat!"

coolhandnuke November 10, 2011 at 9:26 pm

Truly a Festivus miracle that this fuckpuppet made it to NYC instead of wandering Bogota looking for the Professor–or Gilligan.

freakishlywrong November 10, 2011 at 9:26 pm

In the immortal words of:Nelson Mutnz: Ha ha! (asshtat)

rocktonsam November 10, 2011 at 9:26 pm

well , this sure as hell won't get you laid James.
Your parents must be so proud, go back to your room and stay there you little twerp.

Callyson November 10, 2011 at 9:29 pm

That reporter from CNN that this clown thought he could seduce (on a boat, with a dildo) is LHFAO…

Mumbletypeg November 10, 2011 at 9:29 pm

"Not in entire forgetfulness,
And not in utter nakedness,
But trailing clouds of ignominy do we come —
From Kochdom come! — who is our home."

- James O'Keefe

Mahousu November 10, 2011 at 9:34 pm

Door opens in, door opens out. You can't explain it.

MzNicky November 11, 2011 at 7:18 am

It's hard, like math and stuff.

Rotundo_ November 10, 2011 at 9:37 pm

Looks like the beginning of the tragic phase of Jimmy's career, another 5 years and he'll be sitting in a frozen puddle of his piss muttering about taking out ACORN while people around him wonder what the fuck the drunk piece of shit is talking about. I can jus see him shouting to no one in particular: "I wuzza up and coming star in conservative media" as a fresh burst of steam errupts from the crotch of his tattered dockers.

ManchuCandidate November 10, 2011 at 10:08 pm

Then Herman Cain will whip out two large (bills not Koch) and push James' head aggressively to his crotch.

chicken_thief November 11, 2011 at 9:38 am

Reviving his classic line "you want a job, don't you?".

spareme November 10, 2011 at 10:35 pm

Mebbe the Tea Bagger douches in Tennessee can help him fund this great adventure

Herring_Burnit November 10, 2011 at 11:44 pm

I coulda bin a contenDUH!!!

Geminisunmars November 11, 2011 at 12:38 am

Gee Whiz, Burnit. I thought the same thing. We must be another sibling from another mother, or something.

Herring_Burnit November 11, 2011 at 12:53 am

One egg, two sprog. I'm happy to accept you as my sibling.

Geminisunmars November 11, 2011 at 12:54 am

I've finally found my other.

Judith_Priest November 10, 2011 at 9:50 pm

I was going to say something clever, but is it OK if I just say this:

James O'Keefe is a nasty little liar, a pompous ass, and a fucking cunt.

??

Cenk Uygur deconstructs O'Keefe's finest work, in which he believes himself to be channeling Michael Jackson, as bovine sorority girls attempt to "shake it":
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5__gPP1HAy4

Herring_Burnit November 11, 2011 at 1:21 pm

I was just *starting* to, you know, like you and stuff.

Now I will hate you with a soul-searing hatred. At least unless and until you figure out how to wipe that horrible, horrible memory from my brain.

Srsly, that dumbass wore the same fake-fur swing coat he wore in his pimp appearances? And he thinks he can DANCE? And SING? Sweet suffering Christ.

ShitFilledExistence November 10, 2011 at 9:53 pm

Hey shithead, time to quit!

NorthStarSpanx November 10, 2011 at 9:55 pm

Maybe it would have helped if Jimmy brought wine, his portable "palace of pleasure" and the promise of a job, Herb Cain style.

Mrs. Bitch November 10, 2011 at 9:58 pm

OMG!!!! Professors at Columbia are talking about the need to reelect President Obama? Quick, Queef, break out the sequins and stilettos and cone bra! You've got some undercover work to do on this earth-shattering, mind-blowing, economy-ruining story of intrigue. I smell a Pulitzer – or maybe he just strained too hard trying to open the door the wrong way and shit his pants a little.

comrad_darkness November 10, 2011 at 10:44 pm

*Talking* about electing a democrat is 1000x worse than a network that organizes rallies on the DC mall for republicans.

Herring_Burnit November 10, 2011 at 11:45 pm

Sharts do tend to explode out any old santorum.

poncho_pilot November 10, 2011 at 10:03 pm

James O'Keefe: Professional Clown Shoe.

BarackMyWorld November 10, 2011 at 10:04 pm

He's like a immoral, wingnut Jimmy Olsen, trying to make a name as a journalist by dressing up in silly costumes and disguises, without a Superman to bail him out when he gets caught (in this case by an unlocked door).

iburl November 10, 2011 at 10:17 pm

No Superman, but I believe that Bill O'Reilly is still his Perry White at the Daily Ailesnet.

MzNicky November 11, 2011 at 7:20 am

Edward R. Murrow wept.

Negropolis November 10, 2011 at 10:05 pm

L-oh-fuckin-L! He punked his ass with much gusto! What worst respect than snickering at the guy that's supposed to be the aggressor. James looked like a child amongst adults; I almost felt a little sad for him.

After he was done with me, I should have kept rolling, because they get to the exit and find they can’t open it. He says, “Have they locked us in?” Turns out they were pulling the door instead of pushing it.

Bwahahahahahaha!!!!!11!!!!

poncho_pilot November 10, 2011 at 10:12 pm

i love how pissed he was by the end and the way he tries to escape quickly when he realizes it's not going the way he hoped. too fucking good.

user-of-owls November 10, 2011 at 10:08 pm

Irredeemable doofus James O’Keefe

Oh dear, Kirsten. You'll be hearing shortly from the United Brotherhood of Doofuses, Blockheads & Oafs Local 138 and they will not be happy.

Ruhe November 11, 2011 at 9:15 am

Not likely. The UB of DB&Os just lost their collective bargaining rights in a referendum and now they're trying to lay low to avoid getting whacked any further.

user-of-owls November 11, 2011 at 11:46 am

I'm dubious of your assertion, given that the DB&Os spend a great deal of their time whacking themselves in various comical ways.

Ruhe November 11, 2011 at 1:17 pm

I think I'm telegraphing my pitches.

Joshua Norton November 10, 2011 at 10:09 pm

O'Keefe is truly an artist when asshat is his medium.

SethEag November 10, 2011 at 10:13 pm

He's kind of Alex P Keaton meets the kid who sat alone at lunch.

nonbeliever7 November 10, 2011 at 10:15 pm

Shorter JO'K; "Everyone come look. I have a tiny dick."

MilwaukeeKent November 10, 2011 at 10:15 pm

O'Keefe doesn't like the swears? Well, fuck him and his mother, his father and the guy who thinks he's his father.

Herring_Burnit November 10, 2011 at 11:46 pm

Fuck his dirty little cocksucking mouth with the same dick that fucked his father's ass, that son of a syphilitic whore with ten thousand camels for a father.

Spurning Beer November 10, 2011 at 10:25 pm

Put in a call to Dan Savage. We need a definition for the common noun "o'keefe."

I am thinking maybe some kind of pustule on the penile shaft caused by friction and Pringles dust.

poncho_pilot November 10, 2011 at 11:08 pm

o'keefe. n. the sound of hot air escaping the puckered mouth of a frightened, muckraking journalist?

littlebigdaddy November 10, 2011 at 11:12 pm

That's disgusting. There's no worse snack food on the planet than Pringles.

Herring_Burnit November 10, 2011 at 11:47 pm

Oh my. What a delightful mental image.

Negropolis November 11, 2011 at 2:30 am

Hows about an James "O'Queef"?

Guppy November 10, 2011 at 10:26 pm

I anxiously await O'Keefe's own video of the event.

I'm thinking it will run about 7 seconds.

Fare la Volpe November 10, 2011 at 10:43 pm

INNOCENT WHITE REPORTER ASSAULTED BY BROWN MEDIA OPPRESSOR.

spareme November 10, 2011 at 10:30 pm

What a complete waste of student loan money. Oh wait…is he a student? Of anything? Really?

Negropolis November 10, 2011 at 10:34 pm

Bless his heart. If born a dog, James would have been a sad, little cockapoo with his tail between his legs after confronting someone who turned out to be a pit bull.

Fare la Volpe November 10, 2011 at 10:42 pm

"Why aren't you dressed in some of your other costumes?"
"I'm a chameleon. I adopt many different roles."

I was really hoping the prof would say, "Oh! So today you're dressed as a journalist."

MilwaukeeKent November 10, 2011 at 11:42 pm

He's certainly in the Reptile family…

imissopus November 11, 2011 at 1:41 am

No journalist would be caught dead in that sweater. Very few humans either, also.

Indiepalin November 10, 2011 at 10:58 pm

Gotta wonder how O'Keefe can even find his camera, buried as it is underneath all those Pulitzers…

SayItWithWookies November 10, 2011 at 11:09 pm

Poor little James O'Keefe — didn't his mama tell him that you can make a prick and a liar out of a reporter, but you can't make a reporter out of a prick and a liar?

orygoon November 10, 2011 at 11:09 pm

Who would ever have guessed that ammatur jernelist Jimmy-O would come off the worse if he were in a confrontation with a J-School prof at Columbia?

DahBoner November 10, 2011 at 11:22 pm

James "ammatur jernelis" O'Keefe : And what is this?
Store Clerk (played by Jan Brady): That's cheese.
O'Keefe : And what of this?
Jan Brady: That's cheese…
O'Keefe: And this?
Jan Brady: That's cheese…
O'Keefe: And what is this? Rice?
Jan Brady: No that's cheese, this is all cheese here.
O'Keefe: But this say "Crackers", this not cheese.
Jan Brady morphs into Nancy "Princess" Pelosi: No Crackers is the brand, that's cheese…
O'Keefe: OK, in that case, I like to make sexy time!

johnnyzhivago November 10, 2011 at 11:23 pm

Wasn't O'Keefe worried that a roomful of librul professors would turn him into a lesbian?

El Pinche November 10, 2011 at 11:37 pm

Needs more Mexican cartels.

Jukesgrrl November 10, 2011 at 11:44 pm

Haven't his parents taken away his allowance yet?

Gainsbourg69 November 11, 2011 at 5:09 am

He's still on the dole.

comrad_darkness November 11, 2011 at 8:46 am

They probably doubled it because he whined at them.

Generation[redacted] November 14, 2011 at 12:56 pm

More importantly, why have his parents not posted a youtube telling him that they ate all his Halloween candy?

Jukesgrrl November 14, 2011 at 7:44 pm

Big Baby James on Kimmel whining about Reese's Cups?!? No-o-o-o-o!!!!

102415 November 11, 2011 at 12:41 am

I think everyone should ask him all the time everyday why he is not in one of his funny costumes. Refuse to speak to him until he puts on the clown nose.

BZ1 November 11, 2011 at 12:58 am

Not being religious, but I do believe there is a special place in hell for James O’Keefe.

anniegetyerfun November 11, 2011 at 1:03 am

Well, I guess it's settled. Michael Cera can play O'Keefe in his devastating biopic, if Cera agrees to stop eating for a week beforehand.

BigDumbRedDog November 11, 2011 at 1:31 am

So that's what a gigantic asshole looks like. Now I know.

Radio99% November 11, 2011 at 1:33 am

O/T, Holy flying fuzzfuck, I just watched the Daily Show tonite. And I was like, how could he make the Perry implosion funnier? I was coughing up Reese's and pieces of lard laughing so hard.

Negropolis November 11, 2011 at 2:35 am

It really was brilliant. In fact, the entire show was hilarious, well, save for the Sandler interview, surprisingly. I didn't know Adam had an off button, but it appears he does. Colbert was also exceptionally funny, too, especially on the story about UC Berkeley. Both of them cut very deep, tonight.

Radio99% November 11, 2011 at 2:50 am

Yeah, I was never a Sandler fan. He switches too easily from bully to sad clown, meh. He also took a deep shot at those pitiful Penn St. loser students. It made me think of Riley and kids who aren't sheepish and superficial.

not that Dewey November 11, 2011 at 9:55 am

Mrs Dewey cringes whenever I listen to Radiohead because she thinks Thom Yorke sounds like Adam Sandler. Her hatred of Adam Sandler is so intense that it prevents her from appreciating anything else.

Herring_Burnit November 11, 2011 at 1:05 pm

I have just fallen in love with Mrs. Dewey. We are running away together as soon as I recharge my wheelchair battery, if she says yes. She is clearly a woman of great good sense and taste.

Geminisunmars November 11, 2011 at 11:00 am

We don't get Jon & Stephen until the next day (unless we want to stay up very late) so I'll be looking forward to it. We almost never miss them though. They have done more to help us keep what little sanity we've maintained through these last years — as well as Wonkies.

Herring_Burnit November 11, 2011 at 1:04 pm

We need to talk about your diet, Radio.

glamourdammerung November 11, 2011 at 2:06 am

So, how is this type of nonsense not violating O'Keefe's probation yet again?

Negropolis November 11, 2011 at 2:37 am

That'll do, pig; that'll do.

Ruhe November 11, 2011 at 9:18 am

That part makes me cry a little.

Negropolis November 11, 2011 at 9:59 pm

It's a crime they make small children read such a sad story and then watch it. lol

ShaveTheWhales November 11, 2011 at 3:21 am

/snark off, because what would be the point after that video?

This shows the perfect way to deal with lightweight douchebags like O'Keefe. Eventually, it reduced him to just delivering a monologue, which he could have done in his mom's basement. It'll probably go over with the brain-impaired segment of the right, but that would be true if he did it in his mom's basement, so net zero.

Generation[redacted] November 14, 2011 at 12:45 pm

I thought he was already doing that…
http://wonkette.com/431640/racist-child-is-americ

dennis1943 November 11, 2011 at 5:39 am

I love happy endings………………

ttommyunger November 11, 2011 at 7:21 am

S' OK. James immediately retreated to the Cain camp where the Herminator lovingly put his head in his lap and comforted him.

Limeylizzie November 11, 2011 at 7:40 am

I can walk to Columbia form my apartment in about 20 minutes, I should go and give this man a Wonkette award of some kind. This further proves my theory of yesterday that laughing in the face of fury always wins.

Negropolis November 11, 2011 at 7:53 am

You know, the venerable Three 6 Mafia said that it's hard out here for a pimp. But, even O'Keefe didn't imagine it'd be this hard.

carlgt1 November 11, 2011 at 7:57 am

at first I thought, if he barges into "private property" don't you have the all-American right to beat him to a pulp? Then I thought, perhaps just laughing at the loser is best….

__kth__ November 11, 2011 at 8:22 am

A regular Jack Anderson, this one.

Tundra Grifter November 11, 2011 at 9:29 am

Jackoff Anderson.

Herring_Burnit November 11, 2011 at 1:23 pm

Hmm. Is it possible that we might be twins even if we've never met?

Tundra Grifter November 11, 2011 at 1:47 pm

HB:

You mean like Herman Cain and the Koch Bros.? Can I be the Black guy?

Rude, crude and lewd – a dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste.

Herring_Burnit November 11, 2011 at 1:53 pm

Sure, why not? On the InterToobz nobody knows your colour, gender, ethnicity, or species.

I'm looking forward to the day when EVUHbody just lets bots Tweet and comment for them. Wild fun!

Negropolis November 11, 2011 at 10:00 pm

Abram Jackemov.

DaRooster November 11, 2011 at 9:13 am

"Did they lock us in?"

Really? Like anyone would ever wanna be be locked in with you.

SorosBot November 11, 2011 at 9:28 am

So has anyone at his mentor Breitbart's site mentioned this yet? Oh to see the Breitards make excuses for their fellow moron would be sweet. And you motherfucker, there's not a cocksucking thing wrong with bitchin' curse words, asshole.

Nesnora November 11, 2011 at 10:20 am

my favorites are compound curses that involve pastry, like titcake.

Geminisunmars November 11, 2011 at 10:54 am

That actually sounds kind of nice. Now – shitcake or sphincterlips or latkeface are fun compounds.

Herring_Burnit November 11, 2011 at 1:06 pm

You sure have a creative way with words, Gem.

Tundra Grifter November 11, 2011 at 9:32 am

Happily, over at the little Turbo's website one can read his remarkably one-sided account of this misadventure. Kirsten plugged in the link.

I left him a comment – my personal opinion of the episode.

chascates November 11, 2011 at 9:35 am

Soon to appear on all Breitbart sites:

COLUMBIA FACULTY HARASS REPORTER, TRY TO KEEP HIM CAPTIVE!

Dumbedup November 11, 2011 at 9:54 am

what was the comment about his clothes "what are you wearing"? Giggle. What a tool.

prommie November 11, 2011 at 9:55 am

It was the end of W, that day he tried to leave the dais during a press conference in China, and wound up pulling on a locked door with a "stupid as fuck" look on his face.

Geminisunmars November 11, 2011 at 11:02 am

Who would have thought that the prosaic door could be such a potent weapon? I have gained a whole new outlook on the subject.

Nesnora November 11, 2011 at 10:18 am

YOU SAID POO WORDS I'M TELLING

Herring_Burnit November 11, 2011 at 1:14 pm

Sis? Is that you?

hagajim November 11, 2011 at 10:25 am

Li'l Jimmy couldn't open the door? Wait, doesn't this make him at least as qualified as W to be Preznit?

Chichikovovich November 11, 2011 at 11:29 am

The key is not just to make relentless fun of losers like O'Keefe for every second they are in front of you, but of the greatest importance is you must get it on camera. If O'Keefe controls the only video then you've already lost the battle, however thoroughly you might have shamed him in person. Remember the original ACORN thing, when one of the people he tried to victimize clearly recognized that he was a loser scam artist and told him things like (I can't remember the exact story, but it was something like:) "Oh, yeah, I killed my boyfriend and left his body in the office" etc. And this stuff was immediately, credulously reported by O'Keefe. Big Scandal – ACORN official a murderess! But when the local police made it clear that the story was fake, and the woman herself said "of course I was laughing at this dork" Breitbart, Fox etc. immediately memory-holed it. And now all people remember is the video O'Keefe wants them to remember. What I wouldn't give for an unedited video of O'Keefe nodding and gasping as he gets fed preposterous lie after preposterous lie by Ms. unsung ACORN heroine.

jmarsh04 November 11, 2011 at 11:59 am

Oh, so news organizations promoting Obama's re-election is scandalous, according to O'Keefe. I should forward him some of the shit I get in my inbox from Newsmax. I'm sure James, in the interest of being an unbiased journalist, will immediately perform a sting operation over there next.

Isyaignert November 11, 2011 at 9:19 pm

Dude's fugley; maybe that's why he's such a disagreeable douchebag.

Herring_Burnit November 12, 2011 at 2:24 am

True. Although I suspect his ugliness is more a reflection of his hideous personality, he doesn't have a whole lot of material to work with, does he?

telecustom1972 November 12, 2011 at 12:34 pm

Ladies and gentlemen the "Hunter S. Thompson of the re-tarded", Mr. James OKeefe!

sbj1964 November 17, 2011 at 2:22 pm

Computers hate me. An online site tried to hook me up with a woman who's profile read that she is a Ex-Muslim,Atheist,Militant feminist with latent Bi-sexual tendency's / Anarco -Communist who hates kids,but loves puppies,and long walks on the beach. I bet she is fun at party's?

SilverTsunami November 18, 2011 at 6:28 pm

"Oh, I wear many different costumes," he simpered.

I think I speak for all of us when I say, "EEUUW."

brightstarone November 19, 2011 at 7:39 am

Calling James O'Keefe – Calling James O'Keefe

Your 15 minuets is just about up, go crawl back under you rock..

Herring_Burnit November 11, 2011 at 1:11 am

:-)

Since we're now siblings, I just scheduled my surgery today. Let's enjoy the hell out of each other till I get dragged off and cut up. (We've got about a month.)

Herring_Burnit November 11, 2011 at 1:13 am

Arre, ki hangama korbe! Tumi jano na kaun rokom hoi holla hobe, baba. Bolchi ami.

emmelemm November 11, 2011 at 3:01 am

That never gets old.

Salam Bombay November 11, 2011 at 5:45 am

That's Bengali

anniegetyerfun November 11, 2011 at 10:58 am

Can I ask my husband to translate that for me, or is it filthy? And if it's filthy, will it improve my sex life?

Geminisunmars November 11, 2011 at 10:25 am

WHAT?? What's going on? Do you need my kidney?

Barrelhse November 11, 2011 at 10:31 am

For a moment I thought it was Herman Cain.

Herring_Burnit November 11, 2011 at 12:46 pm

Well, yes, of course. Bangla I know, Hindi, only enough to watch bad movies.

Aapni Bangali ki?

Dok-cupy Everything November 11, 2011 at 10:35 am

Not much. Vishnu with you?

Herring_Burnit November 11, 2011 at 12:44 pm

Tai na ki? Bishesh dhoniabad.

I think I meant "bohod achcha." I can never remember which one to use formally, and which one informally, since I haven't spoken Bangla to another living soul for well on 20 years now. Eh, I'm sure you'll help me out.

BornInATrailer November 11, 2011 at 10:42 am

If somebody asks me "Do you know who Sree-Sree-Niv-A-San" is I'll say "No, do you?"

Herring_Burnit November 11, 2011 at 12:51 pm

Needs MOAR genital groping or head-in-crotch-stuffing.

Herring_Burnit November 11, 2011 at 12:49 pm

Absolutely, na! I don't say filthy things to married ladies, baapre!

Tell him if he has trouble with Romanised Bangla, we'll just have to duke it out. As for improving the sex life, just tell the bugger, na, according to Muslim doctrine a wife has the right to demand sexual satisfaction from the husband. My Muslim lady friends assure me that this is the case. (WTF would I know?)

Herring_Burnit November 11, 2011 at 12:50 pm

And how will that create one job? Other than a blow job, of course.

anniegetyerfun November 11, 2011 at 12:53 pm

That is true – I used to be a practicing Muslim. As a current atheist married to an agnostic, I doubt that that will hold much water, though. I'll try just walking around naked, instead.

Herring_Burnit November 11, 2011 at 1:13 pm

Oh, NO, no, no, no, nothing that serious. I'm healthy as a horse, I just have a gimpy leg. My knee got destroyed in a very minor accident (some people just have structural defects that don't show up until a well-placed tap causes them to fall apart). I had it replaced a couple years ago, but it's been causing problems and now the surgeon tells me it needs cutting on.

I'm not thrilled, and it will be painful, but given that everyone else I know has something horrible, or incurable, or outright agonizing, I don't feel justified in whining TOO much about it, but fuck, if I can't whine occasionally, life ain't gonna be worth living.

I'm just not looking forward to being strapped into that awful machine for eight hours a day, which is what you have to do when you have knee surgery. They want you to keep the joint moving immediately after the cutting and before they even take the stitches out.

Enough with the kvetching already, let's kvell.

not that Dewey November 11, 2011 at 1:21 pm

You're gonna run away with my whole family and I'll be left sitting here all alone with my cats and my no tv and my bottle of cardio-health multivitamins, and then what will I do?

Herring_Burnit November 11, 2011 at 1:29 pm

I think you should tell him, "Baba, get your act together or I'm going to be nengta-bengta from now on in this house."

I'm betting this will lead to lots of chasing around furniture. (Hey, it works for me!)

Herring_Burnit November 11, 2011 at 1:34 pm

JOIN US, of course! We'll ALL run away together!

It'll be fun, like when I was a kid and used to get mad at my parents. We'd run away from home, but usually no further than the backyard or some neighbouring patch of land.

Of course, it was kinda embarassing when you had to come home for lunch or to use the baffroom, but we'll all be together, so we won't be embarrassed. Strength in numbers!

Bring the cats.

Geminisunmars November 11, 2011 at 2:18 pm

It would be swell to kvell avec toi.

ChessieNefercat November 11, 2011 at 3:48 pm

See, this is why I like Wonkette. The articles are just a jumping off point for the comments. :)

not that Dewey November 11, 2011 at 5:19 pm

Get in the car, cats! We're goin' for a ride!

Herring_Burnit November 11, 2011 at 5:44 pm

{Hugs ntD most squeezingly}

Just got the OK from my surgeon's office. Getting my leg sliced in one month. The cats will be SO miserable, they won't have ME to torment for a while. I'll have to get out my Made-in-Taiwan Boxing Nun to keep them in line while I recuperate.

not that Dewey November 11, 2011 at 6:04 pm

I learned, after my hernia surgery, that cats like nothing more than for us to be laid up in bed for a month. "He finally gets it!", they said.

Good luck with that; I'm sure we'll speak again before the Big Day, anyway.

Herring_Burnit November 12, 2011 at 2:31 am

I am being licked to death by Bandicoot as I reply here. I had to devise a contraption to cover my knee because ALL the little bastids wanted to sleep ON it after the first surgery. The whole thing's stitched and bandaged to high heaven and I don't know why they can't use self-dissolving stitches, but there ya go. So one needs to construct some sort of tent that is solid enough for the little shits to leap on and off it without causing pain, yet large enough to cover all the dressings, bandages, and tubes, and not so lar … well, you get my drift. The boxing nun annoys them no end, especially when it connects. I just pray they'll stop their three am "galloping at high speed and top volume through the house" routine for a few weeks. Nothing's worse than being woken up from the fitful sleep that painkillers induce, and I hate taking sleeping meds.

It's ridiculous how many medical appointments I have to have before the surgery. And I'm an exceedingly healthy individual. I can't imagine what people with actual health problems have to endure.

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