STEAL FROM THE RICH ETC.  12:07 pm November 10, 2011

Tea Party People Bilked of $19 Million With Phony Wingnut TV Scheme

by Wonkette Jr.

Nothing can go wrong!A group of Tennessee conservatives say they were easily bilked out of $19 million because some guy said, “Hey give me all your money and I will make a Tea Party TeeVee Network, all about your favorite subject: yourselves.” And then the guy allegedly took the money and ran, and now the Tennessee teabaggers are suing him because they are “judicial activists.” One of the dupes is/was Michele Bachmann’s state campaign finance director, so it’s good to know that Bachmann maintains her high standards nationwide. And even at the reduced-expectations definition of a “television network” in 2011 — a website with a video plugin — the “Tea Party HD” scam was magical. According to the lawsuit, “It was an investment scheme to defraud politically conservative-minded citizens who support the Tea Party mission.” Sucks to be a sucka!

The Tennessean reports this morning:

A group of Middle Tennessee conservatives is suing a California businessman for $19 million, claiming he tricked them into investing in a sham business idea for a television network devoted to the tea party movement.

Among those suing is Bill Hemrick, the Brentwood millionaire who is the Tennessee financial director for Republican presidential candidate Michele Bachmann. Hemrick has been active in tea party circles in Williamson County, helping to organize the National Tea Party Convention in Nashville in 2010 that was headlined by Sarah Palin. He worked briefly raising money for presidential candidate Herman Cain.

With a resume like that, how could this guy not be easily duped?

Anyway, Tea Party HD director Anthony Loiacono is the new Robin Hood. Loiacono apparently hasn’t formally responded to the lawsuit, but sent the newspaper a press release challenging Bill Hemrick to a lie-detector contest on … Tea Party HD teevee. [The Tennessean via Southern Beale]

 
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{ 277 comments }

nounverb911 November 10, 2011 at 12:08 pm

Fox Noise to blame Obama in 3…2…1…

GuanoFaucet November 10, 2011 at 12:09 pm

Sounds to me like the invisible hand done fucked these morons good.

memzilla November 10, 2011 at 12:13 pm

So it was an "Invisible Hand" Job? (*ahem*)

donner_froh November 10, 2011 at 12:20 pm

Invisible fisting.

BerkeleyBear November 10, 2011 at 12:31 pm

THE MARKET HAS SPOKEN! (sure it said "fuck you" and laughed, but still, a message is a message, right?)

anniegetyerfun November 10, 2011 at 12:36 pm

You never know when that reach-around is going to involve sharpened claws.

riverside68 November 10, 2011 at 1:18 pm

That is soooo true. The Invisible Hand is going to make sure Tea Party HD never gets another dime from Bill Hemrick.

That's the way it works. Litigation is for whiners, suck it up Bill.

mourningnmerica November 10, 2011 at 1:47 pm

This is just the free market speaking. This story is nothing that tax cuts and less regulation wouldn't remedy. Go free market !!!

caitifty November 10, 2011 at 5:42 pm

And besides, I thought they were anti-government. Who the fuck do they think provides those courts for them to go suing people in?

Herring_Burnit November 11, 2011 at 12:42 am

Once the Invisible Hand slides up your skirt and gropes for your genitals, it's uh … too late. Yer fucked.

Lascauxcaveman November 10, 2011 at 12:09 pm

I feel for those conservative investors. I invested heavily in that TV show starring the GEICO cavemen. It seemed a like such a sure thing.

Still don't know what went wrong :(

ifthethunderdontgetya November 10, 2011 at 12:40 pm

At least the music remains.
~

memzilla November 10, 2011 at 12:10 pm

DNC COINTELPRO FTW!

chascates November 10, 2011 at 12:10 pm

What part of 'snake oil' did you not understand?

Fare la Volpe November 10, 2011 at 12:18 pm

I hear that stuff goes great on just desserts.

Fukui_sanYesOta November 10, 2011 at 12:10 pm

Next on Tea Party HD : Why regulations are bad and the free market should decide its own level! Featuring a laughing Bill Hemrick.

V572625694 November 10, 2011 at 12:30 pm

Financial regulations — who needs 'em? Dodd & Frank…what are they, an 80's pop duo?

Chillwaver November 10, 2011 at 12:42 pm

I thought "Dodd & Frank" were a Hall & Oates tribute…

Lascauxcaveman November 10, 2011 at 12:59 pm

You think everything is a Hall & Oates tribute.

Chillwaver November 10, 2011 at 1:11 pm

You're right:

Marcus = "Maneater"
Newt = "She's gone"
Megs McCain = "Rich Girl"
Shelley = "Your Imagination"
Mittens = "I Can't Go for That (No Can Do)"
Herm = "Did It in a Minute" and "Kiss on My List"
Perry= "It's a Laugh"

Hell, the whole GOP Field is a Hall & Otes Tribute!

Native_of_SL_UT November 10, 2011 at 2:57 pm

And then the move on to the next subject: Has America become sue happy?

Tengu November 10, 2011 at 12:11 pm

They're using the courts to sue? What about personal responsibility?

bagofmice November 10, 2011 at 8:53 pm

That's what tort reform is for.

Barb November 10, 2011 at 12:11 pm

"It was an investment scheme to defraud politically conservative-minded citizens who support the Tea Party mission.”

I didn't think that "conservative-minded" people toss cash around like that.

Fare la Volpe November 10, 2011 at 12:14 pm

Tossing's for pussies and salads. These fuckers festoon it around.

GregComlish November 10, 2011 at 12:18 pm

Tossing is for Dwarves!

memzilla November 10, 2011 at 12:16 pm

"I didn't think that 'conservative-minded' people toss cash around like that…"

Sure they do… if it's OPM (Other People's Money).

SorosBot November 10, 2011 at 12:18 pm

"Conservative minded" is an oxymoron anyway.

Biel_ze_Bubba November 10, 2011 at 1:31 pm

I think it's a euphemism … for "stupid".

V572625694 November 10, 2011 at 12:31 pm

It's possible that some donors are "remembering" larger donations than they may actually have made. Same way they do when their SUVs get stolen: "My golf clubs and my wife's mink coat were in the back!"

Chet Kincaid November 10, 2011 at 1:46 pm

Pro Tip!®

Gratuitous World November 10, 2011 at 12:11 pm

why couldn't they just watch Fox News and burn that $ on overpriced gold ingots like normal teatards?

subsum November 10, 2011 at 12:29 pm

Better yet: products based on refined flour, soy paste, xantan gum and high-fructose corn syrup.

YouBetcha November 10, 2011 at 12:37 pm

The Survival Seed Bank already ran out of merchandise.

mourningnmerica November 10, 2011 at 1:54 pm

OT sorta, but… Actually, gold is under priced right now. It's paper money that is in a bubble. Europe is printing up a fresh trillion as we speak. Even a broken clock (Glen Beck) is right every once in a while. I know that the gold ads are on am radio and all, but that shit has gone up eleven years in a row. The big move up is yet to come. I encourage all Wonketeers to study the subject in depth. The dollar is doomed. Metals are the place to be. Gold will be $2500 shortly.

SorosBot November 10, 2011 at 2:01 pm

Gold has been going up because of the efforts of scam artists like Goldline which Beck shilled for.

mourningnmerica November 11, 2011 at 1:54 pm

Bot, I love your comments. I'm a big fan. But Glen Beck has nothing to do with the price of gold. Americans buy very little. The Chinese and Indians are the biggest consumers. Gold goes up because of the destruction of fiat currencies. In most times gold is only good for jewelry. But not now. World currencies, especially the dollar, are being destroyed by basically printing an endless supply. You can't do this. The dollar will fail altogether, soon. Gold and silver are the only permanent forms of money. The only permanent stores of value, throughout history. This is why they are going up now, as the US (and other currencies follow our lead) print new money into worthlessness. Study the Wiemar Republic. Google hyperinflation. It's coming. Finally, there is a bubble when everybody owns or wants to own something. This absolutely has not happened with PHYSICAL metals (the ETFs are rife with fraud). When it does, gold is going to at least 3K to 5K, unless they find a way to outlaw ownership. Please check this out, spend some time studying it. It is a really horrifying scenario, and we all need to be aware of the big picture.

hollywooddood November 10, 2011 at 12:11 pm

It's the free market. Let it work.

bureaucrap November 10, 2011 at 12:12 pm

Criminal Fraud laws are unamerican! As they say in American, Caveat Emptor!

Fare la Volpe November 10, 2011 at 12:20 pm

Or in this case, caput emptius.

Chichikovovich November 10, 2011 at 12:53 pm

That's what the Latin Americans say, anyway.

McRibzgood November 10, 2011 at 12:13 pm

The free market will fix this.

JustPixelz November 10, 2011 at 12:21 pm

I see no evidence the market can fix stupid.

BaldarTFlagass November 10, 2011 at 12:30 pm

Actually, it seems to thrive on it.

V572625694 November 10, 2011 at 12:33 pm

Only one example: the Georgia Hope Scholarship program, which uses lottery take to finance college scholarships at state schools for any GA kid with a B average or better.

Well, okay, government-run lottery plus state schools ≠ free market. But if you're going to tax anything, stupidity is a good place to start.

Chichikovovich November 10, 2011 at 12:55 pm

The free market would never systematically erode its customer base like that. I hope these Hope Scholarship students are at least prohibited from taking statistics or probability courses.

Generation[redacted] November 10, 2011 at 12:14 pm

Finally, someone is bringing much needed investor money to California!

x111e7thst November 10, 2011 at 12:15 pm

How did they even manage to pull themselves away from all the free tranny-porn on the internets to fall for this thing?

Ohforcripessake November 10, 2011 at 12:34 pm

They use a remote-control dildo.

Biel_ze_Bubba November 10, 2011 at 1:58 pm

They got this really legitimate-sounding email from some stranger in California, who only needed $19 million ….

Monsieur_Grumpe November 10, 2011 at 12:15 pm

This would have been a little sweeter if it was a pyramid scheme.

JustPixelz November 10, 2011 at 12:21 pm

"ponzi scheme" -fixed

Monsieur_Grumpe November 10, 2011 at 12:24 pm

thx

Chichikovovich November 10, 2011 at 1:09 pm

Amway is the tea party pyramid scheme.

GregComlish November 10, 2011 at 12:15 pm

It's almost as if the entire Tea Party are a bunch credulous morons easily manipulated by anybody who tells them what they want to hear.

Lascauxcaveman November 10, 2011 at 12:22 pm

Almost!

Fare la Volpe November 10, 2011 at 12:16 pm

A sham business idea for a television network devoted to the tea party movement.

Hey, that's not a nice thing to say about FOX News.

McRibzgood November 10, 2011 at 12:16 pm

“You are watching Tea Party HD. Bringing you stupid and TruckNutz in crystal clarity"

-James Earl Jones Voice Over-

Come here a minute November 10, 2011 at 12:16 pm

I think I hear Glenn Beck Teevee furiously checking its consultant list.

jqheywood November 10, 2011 at 12:23 pm

That sound you hear is them doing something furiously…

Clancy_Pants November 10, 2011 at 12:17 pm

"…claiming he tricked them into investing in a sham business idea for a television network devoted to the tea party movement."

They should have know "Comedy Central" was already taken.

BlueStateLibel November 10, 2011 at 12:17 pm

Teatards will fall for any ridiculous scam, won't they?

Chet Kincaid November 10, 2011 at 1:52 pm

Is that you, Herman?

Blueb4sunrise November 10, 2011 at 12:17 pm

Good thing that Wonkette TV is still gonna happen. Just sent another check to KL.

DustBowlBlues November 10, 2011 at 12:57 pm

Sorry, chump. Ken threatened us with the banhammer if we blew the whistle on his caper.

Guppy November 10, 2011 at 1:19 pm

A check made out for 18¢ from an overdrawn account isn't going to make the dream a reality any sooner!

Polythene_Pam November 10, 2011 at 12:17 pm

Or, maybe Bill Hemrick's the new Dennis Moore

jqheywood November 10, 2011 at 12:24 pm

Your lupins or your life!

BerkeleyBear November 10, 2011 at 12:34 pm

We're tired of lupins. Could you bring us some food?

jqheywood November 10, 2011 at 12:40 pm

He steals from the poor and gives to the rich,
Stupid er, uhm, oops…

Barrelhse November 10, 2011 at 1:03 pm
Goonemeritus November 10, 2011 at 12:17 pm

How did they expect this venture to breakout in such a crowded space anyway. They would be going head to head with Fox and pay per view slasher porn for the same demographic.

SorosBot November 10, 2011 at 12:17 pm

So for once, a scam artist has used his powers of deceit for good and proven himself to be a hero. California businessman, we salute you.

Biel_ze_Bubba November 10, 2011 at 1:36 pm

And he did it without announcing his candidacy for the GOP presidential nomination? Bonus points for creativity!

VaWyo November 10, 2011 at 12:17 pm

Fox already exists. It's not possible to be to the right of them, is it?

freakishlywrong November 10, 2011 at 12:17 pm

The Real ignorant, racist assholes of Williamson County

Pragmatist2 November 10, 2011 at 12:18 pm

I now believe in God.

SayItWithWookies November 10, 2011 at 12:49 pm

Nooo! Horrible people are perfectly capable of scamming other horrible people, in much the same way that some garden pests eat other garden pests. All I'm saying is, there's no reason to jump to conclusions.

Biel_ze_Bubba November 10, 2011 at 1:38 pm

Even roaches have parasites.

Herring_Burnit November 11, 2011 at 1:04 am

Big fleas have little fleas
Upon their backs to bite 'em
And little fleas have littler ones
And so ad infinitum.

OccupyFnChicken November 10, 2011 at 2:26 pm

Maybe it's better to ask "Where can us atheists worship, so we may also suck each other's dicks over how little God there actually is?"

Herring_Burnit November 11, 2011 at 1:04 am

Well, if it's a dicksucking atheist festival you want …

Callyson November 10, 2011 at 12:18 pm

Hemrick and the other investors now claim in the lawsuit that Loiacono never kicked in his own promised investment and used the plaintiffs’ money as his own “personal bank account” to pay himself, his family members and his business, Heads & Tails Inc.
Heads & Tails?!? They couldn't see through that one?
Heads I win, tails you lose…

Left_Leftie November 10, 2011 at 12:18 pm

Grifters got grifted. Does this "California Businessman" go by the name of Darrell Issa?

Not_So_Much November 10, 2011 at 12:22 pm

Saw him on Maher this past week. He barely looks humanoid any more. He and Sylvester Stallone must be using the same punch-card based plastic surgeon.

Herring_Burnit November 11, 2011 at 1:05 am

Has he ever looked human? I thought it was common knowledge that he was some kind of Lizardoid.

meatlofer November 10, 2011 at 12:19 pm

Tennessee Teabaggers=" The Richest Kind".

Schmannnity November 10, 2011 at 12:20 pm

Damn, I was looking forward to some quality programming on TPTV. It all sounded so promising–Squirrel Fry with Jimmy Bob Doaks, Hoverround Derby, and Hee Haw reruns.

Monsieur_Grumpe November 10, 2011 at 12:22 pm

Spelling bees!

Fare la Volpe November 10, 2011 at 12:43 pm

How dare those home-schooled Asian kids and their elitist "spelling" tell us what to do! DON'T TREDD ON ME!!

V572625694 November 10, 2011 at 12:36 pm

Junior Samples FTW!

Schmannnity November 10, 2011 at 12:40 pm

BR549

V572625694 November 10, 2011 at 12:45 pm
DustBowlBlues November 10, 2011 at 1:04 pm

Thanks to you and V93284792893nds983d9e83 I now know more than I used to know. Or wanted to know.

BaldarTFlagass November 10, 2011 at 12:45 pm

An hourlong program showing nothing but Charlie Daniels, Hank Williams Jr, and Ted Nugent videos! Bonus: the program will be hosted by Charlie Daniels, Hank Williams Jr, and Ted Nugent!

Biel_ze_Bubba November 10, 2011 at 1:42 pm

Don't forget the Saturday morning cartoons for kids: animated Chick Tracts!

Chet Kincaid November 10, 2011 at 2:03 pm

Only You could come up with such a delightful idea!

Herring_Burnit November 11, 2011 at 1:08 am

Downright devilish.

tessiee November 10, 2011 at 9:48 pm

With special guest star Larry the Cable guy.

Lascauxcaveman November 10, 2011 at 1:01 pm

Mayberry, RFD marathons every other weekend!

BaldarTFlagass November 10, 2011 at 1:48 pm

And Matlock in the afternoons, for the olds.

memzilla November 10, 2011 at 12:20 pm

Who here is willing to bet that the Tea Klux Klan will blame Too Much Gummint Reggalashun for this? Morans.

DustBowlBlues November 10, 2011 at 1:05 pm

Obamacare!

JackDempsey1 November 10, 2011 at 12:20 pm

I'm disappointed.
I wonder how this network would have handled the conundrum of a weather "forecast."

Biel_ze_Bubba November 10, 2011 at 1:44 pm

Standard-issue NOAA forecasts, followed by … because God wanted to [reward/punish] [relevant geographical area] for [hating/not hating] gays.

Monsieur_Grumpe November 10, 2011 at 12:20 pm

Aren't there some regulations in place to prevent this kind of thing from happening?

anniegetyerfun November 10, 2011 at 12:39 pm

No, but the Obama administration FORCES SMALL VETERAN-OWNED BUSINESSES to invest in black people and abortion. Or something. And that's why this happened.

Biel_ze_Bubba November 10, 2011 at 1:48 pm

Only the second amendment … but that should be plenty, don't you think?

Generation[redacted] November 10, 2011 at 12:20 pm

Aw, I really wanted to see the Tea Party Network. What shows they would have had!

freakishlywrong November 10, 2011 at 12:25 pm

An endless loop of Atlas Shrugged and re-runs of Uncle Glenn.

GregComlish November 10, 2011 at 12:47 pm

K-K-Kidz Vidz News starring the Wascally Wascist YouTube youth celebrity

starfanglednut November 10, 2011 at 1:41 pm

Oh yeahhh… I wemembew him…

Generation[redacted] November 10, 2011 at 3:56 pm

Wow. Dat was weiwd.

Fare la Volpe November 10, 2011 at 12:47 pm

Reruns of Sarah Palin's Alaska, and then every Christmas a marathon of Red Dawn.

DustBowlBlues November 10, 2011 at 1:06 pm

A wild guess about programming: Fewer ciips from the Daily Show than MSNBC shows.

Biel_ze_Bubba November 10, 2011 at 1:47 pm

Not too many NOVA reruns. Heavy on content leased from the Fishing Channel. (I'm assuming, with a fair degree of confidence, that there is a Fishing Channel.)

Not_So_Much November 10, 2011 at 12:21 pm

Bet they're already discussing 'second amendment remedies'.

Biel_ze_Bubba November 10, 2011 at 1:49 pm

Dang. Pardon my (sort-of) duplication, above.

Dok-cupy Everything November 10, 2011 at 12:21 pm

There's some sort of ironic parable in here about the free market and gullible investors, but I'll be darned if I can tease it out…

Wait a minute, were any of these investors black?

Lascauxcaveman November 10, 2011 at 1:11 pm

Probably not many, but I bet a lot of them were old and naive. You don't want to hear how much of my mom's inheritance went down the College Rebublicans' constantly flushing toilet of of fundraising letters before my uncle got power of attorney over my grandmother's bank accounts.

UnholyMoses November 10, 2011 at 12:21 pm

Now these assholes know what middle class and poor folks feel when conservative policies are put into place.

I believe this is what my dictionary defines as "karma."

Barrelhse November 10, 2011 at 1:06 pm

Aka: Rama-lama-dingdong, bitches.

DustBowlBlues November 10, 2011 at 1:09 pm

FTW (I'm assuming the hipsters use this shorthand to say, For the Win. If I guessed wrong, excuse me. I hope I didn't just type something that might imply I approve of the use of profanity. As all the wonkeratti know, that's just not my style.)

BaldarTFlagass November 10, 2011 at 1:11 pm

Wow. Just wow. All along I've been thinking it was some kind of rallying cry. Fuck The World!!

Chichikovovich November 10, 2011 at 1:15 pm

I thought it was Fart Tits Wang. Good thing I got corrected before I embarrassed myself.

more.

starfanglednut November 10, 2011 at 1:44 pm

Fart Tits Wang FTW!

subsum November 10, 2011 at 12:22 pm

It's the free enterprise system at work. Why do you libtards hate America so much?

SorosBot November 10, 2011 at 12:22 pm

The idea of creating a "tea party network" when it already exists in the form of Fox "News" is silly on its own.

SayItWithWookies November 10, 2011 at 12:22 pm

The lawsuit accuses Loiacono of “corporate waste, misappropriation of funds, self-dealing and fraud” and requests $19 million in punitive damages in addition to the return of the plaintiffs’ investments.

Oh, so the plaintiffs aren't in favor of capping punitive damages when they're the aggrieved party, apparently. The teabaggers ought to rethink their tort reform ideas now that they're devolving into a bunch of rich frauds scamming money out of their rich friends and all suing one another.

fuflans November 10, 2011 at 12:49 pm

'rethink' implies there was some thinking to begin with…

dennis1943 November 10, 2011 at 2:00 pm

And the original amount was $287.500………..$19,000.000 would represent a helluva return on investment……….

McRibzgood November 10, 2011 at 12:23 pm

I wanna buy this dude a beer.

friendlyskies November 10, 2011 at 12:23 pm

They want the government, with its legal framework, to protect them from naked capitalism? Imagine that.

BklynIlluminati November 10, 2011 at 12:23 pm

A teatard and his money shall soon be parted. – Tao of the Illuminati

Monsieur_Grumpe November 10, 2011 at 12:23 pm

Don't you just love capitalism?

freakishlywrong November 10, 2011 at 12:23 pm

It's like they're children. Hateful, spiteful, selfish, loud, annoying children.

Generation[redacted] November 10, 2011 at 12:32 pm

I believe the children are our future: Nasty, brutish, and short.

jqheywood November 10, 2011 at 12:42 pm

Oh Hobbes….you're such a leviathan…

DustBowlBlues November 10, 2011 at 1:12 pm

If you and generation were on a faux newz blog, the teabaggers would be accusing you of being elitists. Good thing you're on wonkette, with all the under and unemployed history majors.

Left_Leftie November 10, 2011 at 1:10 pm

Children that cling to their guns and truck nutz

LesBontemps November 10, 2011 at 12:24 pm

Grifters gonna grift, sheep teabaggers gonna get fleeced. It's the law of nature.

JustPixelz November 10, 2011 at 12:25 pm

"A group of Middle Tennessee conservatives is suing a California businessman for $19 million…"

Suing a job creator?

DustBowlBlues November 10, 2011 at 1:15 pm

I pronounced the winner too soon. This is a great thread with many, many bests.

How I've missed the "my" wonket while I've been play acting a hard-working, church going middle american. Fuck that shit, anyway. Wonking has never left me with aching joints and a neck so fucked up it hurts to turn my head.

chascates November 10, 2011 at 12:25 pm

How about a series on Fox: Survival on Tea Party Island?

Generation[redacted] November 10, 2011 at 12:32 pm

You mean the GOP debates?

starfanglednut November 10, 2011 at 1:52 pm

They'd hire Diebold to see who gets voted off.

owhatever November 10, 2011 at 12:25 pm

I have three things to say about this. First, they deserved to be snookered. Second, the federal gummint regulationers and Barney Frank are to blame. And the third, uh, uh, third is… the third point…Ooops.

V572625694 November 10, 2011 at 12:38 pm

Ron Paul says you had five.

Romney was so sweet…he could've said, "DOD" and Perry would have said, "Yeah, DOD, that's it!"

Biel_ze_Bubba November 10, 2011 at 2:07 pm

That was the highlight of the debate: Perry floundering, going under for the third time, and Romney helpfully tosses him a lead brick.

DustBowlBlues November 10, 2011 at 1:16 pm

EPA?

OccupyFnChicken November 10, 2011 at 2:28 pm

Yeah! Yeah! That's the one.

Sophist[Kochblocker] November 10, 2011 at 12:26 pm

"…a television network devoted to the tea party movement."

How would that even work? I mean, the ideological content of the Tea Party movement is good for about an hour of people screaming about keeping the government out of medicare and the like, but then what? You can only run so many "free government-financed mobility-scooter" ads before you need to run another show, and that would be…what, exactly?

DustBowlBlues November 10, 2011 at 1:17 pm

Infomercial about how to screw Medicare–the taxpayers–out of a free hoveround.

Biel_ze_Bubba November 10, 2011 at 2:08 pm

Works for Fucks Gnus.

BaldarTFlagass November 10, 2011 at 12:26 pm

Bill Hemrick is a fag.
– What?
Bill Hemrick is a fag.
– The hell he is!
He is too, boys. I installed 2-way mirrors in his pad in Brentwood. And he came to the door in a dress.
- That doesn't mean he's a homo, Baldar. A lot of straight guys like to watch their buddies fuck. I know I do. Don't you?

OccupytheDashboard November 10, 2011 at 12:39 pm

Repo Man ftw.

BaldarTFlagass November 10, 2011 at 12:40 pm

When I saw "the Brentwood millionaire" up there, it's like I totally lost control of myself.

fartknocker November 10, 2011 at 12:26 pm

That's so sad. I was so looking forward to 24 hours of diatribe from Teatards, Glenn Beck, Rush Blimpbaugh, those 19 Kids and Counting from Arkansas and continuous commericals from Gold Line and the Scooter Store.

freakishlywrong November 10, 2011 at 1:00 pm

Watch Fux. That should do it.

Radio99% November 10, 2011 at 12:26 pm

Yeah, we're gonna get three things: bandwith, cameras, and, uhhh, what was that other thing….um, help me out here guys…..

freakishlywrong November 10, 2011 at 1:00 pm

The Department of Energy?

Lascauxcaveman November 10, 2011 at 1:17 pm

Moneygunsandlaywers?

DustBowlBlues November 10, 2011 at 1:18 pm

coupon to go buy some insurance?

Radio99% November 10, 2011 at 1:52 pm

DBB, you and your ilk are why I come here and ask silly rhetorical meme questions.
Oh, BTW, you owe me a new laptop. Coffee does not go well on Apples.
Also, too, I HATE COUPONS.

widestanceshakedown November 10, 2011 at 12:26 pm

This is the perfect time to remind them about personal responsibility, while they're deep-throating humiliation.

crybabyboehner November 10, 2011 at 12:26 pm

I'm kind of surprised. I mean, it's not like they are a bunch of rubes.

anniegetyerfun November 10, 2011 at 12:41 pm

These are the intelligent, stalwart citizens who have made Cash 4 Gold the successful business it is today!

Maman November 10, 2011 at 12:27 pm

Gee. sounded like a good investment. not unlike mortgage backed securities, but as they say: investing is not without risk including to your principal and past performance is no indication of future results. So. Don't blame the banks or the Dude from California. You lost your money because you are losers just like the little people investors on Wall Street.

Biel_ze_Bubba November 10, 2011 at 2:12 pm

"But, but … the dude from California made millions off of the last group of people who invested with him! Uhhh, wait a minute … "

GeorgiaBurning November 10, 2011 at 12:28 pm

"Tricked them into investing..????" Don't they realize that's "job creation" ?

Biel_ze_Bubba November 10, 2011 at 2:14 pm

On Wall Street, it's called "developing creative financial products for today's fast-moving economy."

BaldarTFlagass November 10, 2011 at 12:28 pm

"investing in a sham business idea for a television network devoted to the tea party movement."

What, one Fox news channel isn't enough?

EatsBabyDingos November 10, 2011 at 12:28 pm

"B-b-b-but they had a guaranteed subscription list from Newt's Twitter account!"

chascates November 10, 2011 at 12:31 pm

The Texas DMV just turned down the idea of offering a Texas license plate with the Confederate flag! In 50 years this may be a progressive state!

Generation[redacted] November 10, 2011 at 12:35 pm

Wow, first they paint over the N—–head signs, and now this? I'm so proud of my home state. But I'm still not moving back.

Puffperney November 10, 2011 at 1:13 pm

Texans can be pragmatic. They just did it to help Perry get the nomination. Too bad Perry screwed the pooch on that whole deal last night. Maybe the Texas DMV can reconsider their decision.

DustBowlBlues November 10, 2011 at 1:20 pm

The OK DMV will no doubt be glad to carry the flag.

Lascauxcaveman November 10, 2011 at 1:20 pm

The Texas DMV just turned down the idea of offering a Texas license plate with the Confederate flag!

The first glimmerings of self awareness. They say such things can be also seen in especially well-functioning colonies of Bonobos.

Chet Kincaid November 10, 2011 at 2:16 pm

The hippie, free-love Bonobos are too busy fucking to attack and conquer other bands like crewcut, right-thinking Chimps.

starfanglednut November 10, 2011 at 1:59 pm

Damn! A confederate flag license plate would look AWESOME right above my trucknutz, and underneath my "Everything I needed to know about Islam, I learned on 9/11" bumper sticker.

WhatTheHeck November 10, 2011 at 12:32 pm

They better not be askin the gubmint to investigate this scam as there's too much gubmint meddlin as it is, also, too.

BaldarTFlagass November 10, 2011 at 12:32 pm

Oh that Ted Turner, he's such a mischievous scamp!!!

bflrtsplk November 10, 2011 at 12:32 pm

Hey! Tea Partyists! I got a bridge to nowhere I'll sell ya cheap – in the Sahara Desert. Suckers.

Bonzos_Bed_Time November 10, 2011 at 12:32 pm

Hellloooo Tea-baggers???? California. That should have been your first clue this was a Nancy Pelosi, gay-queer, abortion-loving, Muslin scam to take away your freedums (and $$$). For shame.

anniegetyerfun November 10, 2011 at 12:43 pm

God, I miss that place. Nancy and I attended the same Muslim-gay-sex-abortion spa in the Presidio. We only talked once or twice, but she was a nice lady with an impeccable manicure. Because of the fetus juice they used on her cuticles.

Bonzos_Bed_Time November 10, 2011 at 12:49 pm

Nothing says quality quite like fetus juice.

DustBowlBlues November 10, 2011 at 1:21 pm

But . . . but . . .bu . . . he sounded so stupid, we were sure he was one of us.

Bonzos_Bed_Time November 10, 2011 at 9:30 pm

And he dressed so nice, didn't look like a dirty-hippie at all.

McRibzgood November 10, 2011 at 12:33 pm

That's weird. Tea baggers being ripped off and I didn't see Sarah Palin's name once.

GregComlish November 10, 2011 at 12:49 pm

She's suing for copyright infringement

Lascauxcaveman November 10, 2011 at 1:22 pm

Sarah's never ripped them off! She gives them quality.

And by quality, I mean head.

tessiee November 10, 2011 at 10:03 pm

Please, if any of the women in that family could or would give head, they wouldn't have so damn many stupidly-named kids.

CapnFatback November 10, 2011 at 12:34 pm

Hemrick is indeed a Robbin' Hood. He's a Tea Party supporter and the same asshole who started the Uper Deck trading card company in the late '80s, effectively doubling the price of a pack of sports cards and turning it from a children's hobby to a basement-dwelling adult's obsession to simultaneously "pull" a signed refractor Alex Gordon rookie and their own pud.

V572625694 November 10, 2011 at 12:40 pm

God that is disgusting. Collectors, with their "completist" obsessions, ruin everything they they touch.

CapnFatback November 10, 2011 at 12:46 pm

Oops. That should read "Upper Deck," as in "While attending the Tea Party, Bill Hemrick ate a bunch of McRibs and took an upper deck-er in the toilet tank."

Chillwaver November 10, 2011 at 12:34 pm

There can only be one CBN…

north_of_moscow November 10, 2011 at 12:35 pm

Take the Hallmark Channel, QVC and an endless loop of Sean Hannity baring his teeth, arrange it like those picture-in-picture scenes from '24' and cash the check. Problem solved.

YouBetcha November 10, 2011 at 12:35 pm

Grifting the teabaggers is my new entrepreneurial scheme.

V572625694 November 10, 2011 at 12:41 pm

It's working pretty well for Herman Cain.

crybabyboehner November 10, 2011 at 12:43 pm

It worked for the Duke and the Dauphin.

DustBowlBlues November 10, 2011 at 1:25 pm

? I feel like this is a piece of French history I missed.

SorosBot November 10, 2011 at 2:05 pm

No, American literature; they're con artists from Huckleberry Finn.

Lascauxcaveman November 10, 2011 at 1:29 pm

I tried to convince the guys in my band one time to change our name to Royal Nonesuch.

crybabyboehner November 10, 2011 at 4:06 pm

i would have voted for that

DustBowlBlues November 10, 2011 at 1:24 pm

Just shred that tax form when it hits your mailbox. You're a Job Creator now!

OccupyFnChicken November 10, 2011 at 2:29 pm

You're not getting their money any other god damn way.

mavenmaven November 10, 2011 at 12:35 pm

It is merely the invisible hand of the market at work. This time it deserves a handshake.

Mumbly_Occupado November 10, 2011 at 12:37 pm

I find myself confused by the image accompanying this article. What does this news item have to do with former Penn State defensive coordinator Jerry Sandusky?

HobbesEvilTwin November 10, 2011 at 12:38 pm

The tragic part of this story is that they already had a jingle worked out with Hank Williams Jr.

<&#9836>;"Are you ready for some full-on Re[censored]"<&#9834>

HELisforHEL November 10, 2011 at 12:39 pm

Don't know if it's been said yet, but those teabaggers who sent their disability and social security coin sure must be relieved that they get those Jazzies for free.

Of course if any of them slip into a coma now, and they don't have Medicaid (SOCIALIZM!!1!), they'll just have to die.

Oh well.

DustBowlBlues November 10, 2011 at 1:26 pm

Someome has to say it: Let them die!

ChernobylSoup November 10, 2011 at 12:39 pm

Maybe the "businessman" from "California" was Al Gore. That would at least help explain the existence of Current TV.

iburl November 10, 2011 at 12:39 pm

SOROS!!! I know he's behind this scam!! Somebody call the ACORN Pimp!!

Wilcoxyz November 10, 2011 at 12:40 pm

If they'd just given it to Palin, she could have gone on a bus tour. For Merikuh. Which at least would have gotten on TV.

anniegetyerfun November 10, 2011 at 12:40 pm

California Businessman/Fertilized Egg 2012!

Indiepalin November 10, 2011 at 12:40 pm

The Democrat Machine in California Has Brought Forth a Troubled Investment Advisor to Create a False TV Network.

James Michael Curley November 10, 2011 at 12:40 pm

That's Hood Robbin' taking from the poor to give to the rich.

e_z November 10, 2011 at 12:43 pm

A sham business idea for a sham grass roots movement. Perfect synergy, what are they bitchin' about? Bunch of whinein losers, suck it up punks.

Antispandex November 10, 2011 at 12:43 pm

Look, there is no need for the government to get involved here. I am sure that the Teapublicans realize that the free market will make sure that this guy will go out of business because people no longer trust him…and isn't that punishment enough? Geeze! Governmentt just has to interfere in everything!

Blueb4sunrise November 10, 2011 at 12:44 pm

"…the plaintiffs’ attorney, Kristin Fecteau, who declined to comment."

Teh Googleez reveals that

Kristin Fecteau earned her law degree from Regent University in 1998. She is also an honors graduate of the University of Montevallo, where she earned her undergraduate degree in Communication Arts in 1991.

http://www.equituslaw.com/kristin_fecteau.htm

fuflans November 10, 2011 at 12:50 pm

suckers!!

Generation[redacted] November 10, 2011 at 12:54 pm

A degree in Communication Arts? WTF is that? Is it painting, or talking, or talking while painting?

ShaveTheWhales November 10, 2011 at 1:17 pm

Scammed again.

DustBowlBlues November 10, 2011 at 1:28 pm

I don't even want to know what U of Montevallo is. I'm sure she was home-skooled.

Biel_ze_Bubba November 10, 2011 at 2:20 pm

Jeeeezus … these goobers are even dumber than I thought.

Gleem_McShineys November 10, 2011 at 2:45 pm

Lets hope she also got a hefty retainer from them, to add a little insult somethin somethin to their festering teabag injury.

fuflans November 10, 2011 at 12:46 pm

what's a brentwood millionaire doing in tennessee for fuck's sake?

oh right, scamming the peasants.

imissopus November 10, 2011 at 1:37 pm

I think that's Brentwood, TN. It's outside Nashville.

spinozasgod November 10, 2011 at 12:48 pm

BWWAAAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

spinozasgod November 10, 2011 at 12:49 pm

gee, I thought there was no such thing as fraud in libertarian land……

BaldarTFlagass November 10, 2011 at 12:49 pm

Maybe them Tennessee Teabaggers would be interested in a slightly used monorail…

Generation[redacted] November 10, 2011 at 12:55 pm

I dunno, maybe it's more of a Shelbyville idea.

tessiee November 10, 2011 at 10:08 pm

Ironically, Tennessee actually *does* have a mule with a spinning wheel.

OccupyFnChicken November 10, 2011 at 12:50 pm

Why are investors not permitted to lose money? We fucking were allowed.

barto November 10, 2011 at 12:52 pm

Don't you just love the invisible hand of the range-free grifter? Certainly they're used to this kind of stuff by now.

poorgradstudent November 10, 2011 at 12:53 pm

Wow. I've just proven it's possible to be sexually aroused by schadenfreude.

DustBowlBlues November 10, 2011 at 1:30 pm

As a post-menopausal woman, it's the only foreplay that can awaken my long dormant arousal cells.

starfanglednut November 10, 2011 at 2:09 pm

Have you consulted Dr. Schaden Freud about this problem?

iburl November 10, 2011 at 12:56 pm

I know 3 ways to solve these scams.
I would do away with Education, the — Commerce and, let’s see, I can’t. The third one, I can’t.

DustBowlBlues November 10, 2011 at 1:35 pm

Perry has provided more of a catch phrase than the authors of "the wonket", the signs blaming our Muslin prez for everything and also.

Thanks, Rick. Soon gone; never forgotten. At least among the Muslins on the wonket.

comrad_darkness November 10, 2011 at 12:58 pm

A fool and his money, etc etc.

Puffperney November 10, 2011 at 1:05 pm

If God did not want them sheared, he would not have made them sheep.

Fukui_sanYesOta November 10, 2011 at 1:10 pm

They're not sheep! They're rugged individualists. Well, now they're poverty-stricken, follow-the-herd, ripped-off-in-a-scam rugged individualists, but you get what I'm saying.

tessiee November 10, 2011 at 10:10 pm

"WE ARE ALL INDIVIDUALS!!"

OneYieldRegular November 10, 2011 at 1:15 pm

Meanwhile, Sarah Palin responded, "My gosh this is what a terrible event on our good patriotic Americans. I urge all citizens of this greatest nation ever on the history of planet earth to start the healing by buying one of my books explaining too, and so that, how America can also be great again and prevent such like from happening."

kingcocrazy November 10, 2011 at 1:16 pm

A tool and his money are soon parted.

Guppy November 10, 2011 at 1:21 pm

As every Kool-Aid drinking Paultard and Teabagger knows, the only good law is contract law, so let's see the piece of paper with the John Hancocks on it before the complaining starts.

That bitch best be notarized.

El Pinche November 10, 2011 at 1:23 pm

Teabaggers want to litigate through a court of law?? Sounds like these hand-out taking communists need pull up their strap-ons or bootstraps, or whatever.

Steverino247 November 10, 2011 at 1:25 pm

You can't cheat an honest man. Nuff said.

Chichikovovich November 10, 2011 at 1:26 pm

This scam was so watertight that the Nashville tea party group would never have figured it out, but fortunately before they sent the next $19 million in to Brentwood they were tipped off by FELLOW CHRISTIAN MR GOODMAN OBOTE, Chief Justice of the Nigerian Supreme Court, who most respectfully proposed a very serious business opportunity trusting being most confidential, and they sent the money to him instead.

crybabyboehner November 10, 2011 at 4:08 pm

well, he was a Christian

LiveToServeYa November 10, 2011 at 1:31 pm

That's a lot of rascal scooters. They might have to start, you know, walking.

Mahousu November 10, 2011 at 1:36 pm

A group of Middle Tennessee conservatives …

If these conservatives date from the Middle Tennessean, they've probably lost their gills and bear amniotic eggs, but still have inadequate body temperature regulation. So little wonder they could be bamboozled once the weather turns colder.

joshleefolsom November 10, 2011 at 1:38 pm

It's like the Mafia — fuck 'em as long as they're only shooting at each other.

mourningnmerica November 10, 2011 at 1:56 pm

After careful consideration and careful though on the subject, my feelings are: "HA HA, FUCK YOU."

Gleem_McShineys November 10, 2011 at 2:53 pm

I hope that is also in the judge's final decision.
"The court finds the following: 1. You are all a bunch of morons. 2. Haha, Fuck you. 3. Heaven have mercy on your souls."
*GAVEL GAVEL*

glamourdammerung November 10, 2011 at 2:10 pm

Too bad these extreme leftists teabaggers are resorting to judicial activism against a job creator.

Chet Kincaid November 10, 2011 at 2:10 pm

The Judge should just dump McDonald's applications on them.

lulzmonger November 10, 2011 at 2:21 pm

The Invisible Pimp Hand at work once again.

Whatever they lose in court, they'll more than make up selling that contact list to every grifter in Amerika … as HST once said, let the hungry dogs feed.

Biel_ze_Bubba November 10, 2011 at 2:26 pm

Bend over, boys, and meet the unlubricated invisible fist.

Gleem_McShineys November 10, 2011 at 3:09 pm

Let me try my hand at turning this into something ready for a chalkboard-rant that the Teabaggers could get behind…

According to the article, the California scammer/Defendant "Loiacono is a former high-level executive of The Upper Deck Co., a California-based sports cards and memorabilia company."

Upper Deck makes very popular and very very collectible cards.

Collectors, being what they are, always want to collect all of the cards.

Or to put it another way "Gotta Catch 'Em All"… right?

DO YOU SEE WHERE THIS IS GOING, MY TEAPARTY FRIENDS?

You who know things about things, you know that THIS PHRASE is the byline of a very addictive product that centers entirely around collecting.

THAT'S RIGHT! I am talking about Pokémon.

And who, exactly, has been cited in the news recently quoting a line from a POKEMON movie??

HERMAN CAIN!
http://www.mediaite.com/online/did-herman-cain-en

You see, Teapartiers? You knew it all along.

You are absolutely right and justified to be racists against black people.

They ARE out to get you.

*END Glenn BECK-Y BECK-Y BECK-Y TRANS-TRANSmission*

tessiee November 10, 2011 at 10:14 pm

So, wait — where's the part about Kevin Bacon?

Wonderthing November 10, 2011 at 3:16 pm

Nineteen million. Coulda bought a lotta spelling lessons with that kinda dough, morans.

iburl November 10, 2011 at 4:34 pm

Also think of all the tricorn hats, powdered wigs and tights that they are also not going to have to parade about in.

carlgt1 November 10, 2011 at 3:25 pm

in this case the enemy of my enemy is still my enemy!

HolyCow!! November 10, 2011 at 4:05 pm

Typical socialists, always running to the government to bail them out.

fitley November 10, 2011 at 4:42 pm

I would have invested but I lost a lot of money with Goldline. I bought thousands of dollars worth of gold coins only to find out they were gold plated coins with Fonzie on one side and
Potsie on the other. I was shocked when I found out their real resale value.

ttommyunger November 10, 2011 at 6:37 pm

As a wise man once said: "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice…….and….. uh……… ………..can't be fooled again!"

UpstateYorkee November 10, 2011 at 8:30 pm

It's OK when the banks are bilking the poors out of their last few pesos, but when the tea-tards get scammed it's Armageddon.

tessiee November 10, 2011 at 9:38 pm

To quote Erick Erickson: "Suck it up, you whiners!"

tessiee November 10, 2011 at 10:12 pm

Let's see, now, how does that old saying go?
*ponders with hand on chin*
"A _____ and his _____ are soon parted".

BaldarTFlagass November 10, 2011 at 1:18 pm

You've obviously given this quite a bit of thought.

Chet Kincaid November 10, 2011 at 1:43 pm

If the label hadn't been scared shitless by the Fripp-produced "Sacred Songs", Hall could have been the next Peter Gabriel instead of the previous George Michael.

V572625694 November 10, 2011 at 5:02 pm

I've actually heard three of those.

Chillwaver November 10, 2011 at 1:27 pm

Not as much as thought as Perry's "3 Departments I'd Cut" answer, but close…

Boehneriffic November 10, 2011 at 2:07 pm

Fripp tends to scare the shit out of a lot of people.

not that Dewey November 11, 2011 at 12:48 am

"Previous George Michael" is a pretty low blow. Ouch.

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