THE KING OF CLASS  10:59 am November 10, 2011

Relive Magic Sex Creep Herman Cain Calling Nancy Pelosi ‘Princess’

by Kirsten Boyd Johnson

Here is the second-place “highlight” from last night’s debate, the part where known scumbag Herman Cain realizes he can’t actually sexually harass anyone on stage, so he settles for just saying something sexist and calls Nancy Pelosi “Princess Nancy” in the course of an incoherent rant about some irrelevant years-old health care legislation. Herman Cain, he sure knows how to charm the ladies!

His staff loved this inane comment so much that they tweeted it, to be professional. Old Herm came back after the debate to say “that was a statement that I probably should not have made, but I was trying to make a point.” Because come on, if there are any former House Speakers who deserve to be called “princess,” it is definitely Newt Gingrich. [TPM]

 
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{ 190 comments }

Schmannnity November 10, 2011 at 11:02 am

Emperor Cain is increasingly disrobed.

Not_So_Much November 10, 2011 at 11:14 am

ew. I need brain bleach for that.

ifthethunderdontgetya November 10, 2011 at 11:02 am

"Show me on the doll where Herman Cain offered you a job"

♪♫ Rock You Like A Herman Cain ♪♫♪♫
~

IncenseDebate November 10, 2011 at 11:10 am

I would but mom said I should never touch another person's generals.

widestanceshakedown November 10, 2011 at 11:39 am

♪♫♪♫ Aw, but that's where the fun is. . .♪♫♪♫

BaldarTFlagass November 10, 2011 at 11:49 am

Want some whiskey in your water?
Sugar in your tea?
What's all these crazy questions they're askin' me?
This is the craziest party that could ever be
Don't turn on the lights 'cause I don't wanna see

♫That ain't the way to have fun, son♪

mattbenzing November 10, 2011 at 11:31 am

"You are like a Herman Cain / There's lust in your eyes"

Barb November 10, 2011 at 11:02 am

Herman is just used to dealing with the "leave the money on the dresser" type of women.

Schmannnity November 10, 2011 at 11:04 am

Why pay for it when you can coerce it in the workplace?

emmelemm November 10, 2011 at 1:38 pm

Honestly, though, it's so much more expensive: $40, $50k a pop.

ETA: But so worth it!

Buzz Feedback November 10, 2011 at 11:03 am

I'm sure Herm will have no problem with Princess calling him Kunta.

BaldarTFlagass November 10, 2011 at 11:09 am

Toby, dammit!

Buzz Feedback November 10, 2011 at 11:20 am

Point taken!

Dok-cupy Everything November 10, 2011 at 11:24 am

Bop-sha-Bop, son of Sha-na-na!

Your name is Peggy Fleming!!

GuanoFaucet November 10, 2011 at 11:03 am

How presidential of him.

Mumbletypeg November 10, 2011 at 11:08 am

That was my thought, exactly.
As if coming across 'presidential' has any meaning for wingnutardia, anymore.

carlgt1 November 10, 2011 at 1:48 pm

it is a really dumbing down of our political scene if this childish jerk is a top candidate. I mean I just watched the one where he is screaming that "liberals" (who are what, 20% to 50% of the nation?) are all stupid etc etc. Only Repubs could claim to love America so much that they hate most Americans!

Goonemeritus November 10, 2011 at 11:03 am

Yes but she is a Pretty Pretty Princess.

hagajim November 10, 2011 at 11:52 am

I think Herman was hitting on her…shooting for a PJ?

weejee November 10, 2011 at 11:05 am

Princess Newtie, Princess Larry Craig, Princess Mark Foley, and the biggest grandest princess of all Princess Ricky Perry.

nounverb911 November 10, 2011 at 11:06 am

Lest us not forget Queens Marcus and Lindsey.

finallyhappy November 10, 2011 at 11:31 am

DAMN- I was going to write Queen Marcus- I swear

JustPixelz November 10, 2011 at 11:33 am

What about Baroness Boehner?

MOG2410 November 10, 2011 at 11:38 am

Empress Michelle? Or Czarina?

comrad_darkness November 10, 2011 at 11:52 am

Michelle or Michele?

MOG2410 November 10, 2011 at 12:05 pm

Yikes sorry, crazy-eyed Michele.

Jukesgrrl November 10, 2011 at 4:04 pm

That would be Cinderella … and she ain't goin to the ball.

ifthethunderdontgetya November 10, 2011 at 11:05 am

"The two other big problems with Dodd-Frank, are Dodd and Frank.'"

I wish someone had asked Cain what Dodd-Frank is.
~

Not_So_Much November 10, 2011 at 11:15 am

Duh, it's when you grab a hot blond by her dodd and force her down onto your frank.

Dok-cupy Everything November 10, 2011 at 11:37 am

I was hoping he'd say that neither of them should be re-elected this year, just to demonstrate that he doesn't know that Dodd left the Senate…

tihond November 10, 2011 at 1:00 pm

"The exports of Dodd-Frank are numerous in amount. One thing they export is corn, or as the Indians call it, "maize". Another famous Indian was "Crazy Horse". In conclusion, Dodd-Frank is a land of contrast. Thank you."

EatsBabyDingos November 10, 2011 at 11:06 am

Herman Cain is unqualified to be dog catcher. Even on the moon.

freddymcmurray November 10, 2011 at 11:07 am

If anyone in this world is a fancy nancy, it's that mute princess from Texass.

nounverb911 November 10, 2011 at 11:07 am

Has Cain's wife materialized yet?

VaWyo November 10, 2011 at 11:23 am

No. I think she has entered the humilliated republican wife relocation program. There's a never ending supply of women needing this assistance.

widestanceshakedown November 10, 2011 at 11:41 am

She's detained on the Democrat plantation.

Oblios_Cap November 10, 2011 at 11:54 am

He's probably chopped her up and served her on a pizza.

IncenseDebate November 10, 2011 at 11:07 am

I feel like I witnessed something disturbing last night. Should I go to the police?

Sue4466 November 10, 2011 at 11:48 am

If it was the rape of a child yes. You don't have to be a football coach to know that.

IncenseDebate November 10, 2011 at 12:28 pm

It was rape of our collective intelligence.

Pragmatist2 November 10, 2011 at 11:07 am

Herman thinks that "harass"is two words.

McRibzgood November 10, 2011 at 11:16 am

Tee-Hee

"Her Ass"

JustPixelz November 10, 2011 at 11:41 am

Apparently his wife doesn't think Herman is two words.

Oblios_Cap November 10, 2011 at 12:01 pm

It's not?

GuanoFaucet November 10, 2011 at 11:08 am

Cain is a sex-crazed fucktard. I probably shouldn't have said that, but I was just trying to make a point.

Ducksworthy November 10, 2011 at 11:16 am

Even though you haven't got the facts to back that up (yet).

freakishlywrong November 10, 2011 at 11:35 am

Oh Ducks. I think we do have the facts. And as far as backing that up; that's what Herm said!

Pragmatist2 November 10, 2011 at 11:48 am

We are all sex-crazed fucktards, but most of us are not running for office.

SexySmurf November 10, 2011 at 11:09 am

In Herman Cain's defense, Nancy Pelosi refers to him as "Little Caesar."

Chillwaver November 10, 2011 at 11:33 am

Actually, I bet Nancy refers to him as "Who the fuck is this clown?"

Sue4466 November 10, 2011 at 11:48 am

She knows he's got something to do with pizza pizza.

deanbooth November 10, 2011 at 10:45 pm

Maybe after the next debate we'll hear Cain say "Is this the end of Rico!?"

[I am sooooooo old!]

Monsieur_Grumpe November 10, 2011 at 11:10 am

This man needs to tested… for STDs.

emmelemm November 10, 2011 at 1:40 pm

Yes, someone mentioned late stage syphyllis a while back… it would explain a few things.

Jukesgrrl November 10, 2011 at 4:06 pm

Naw … that's what Perry's got. Herm's just a narcissistic pig.

Indiepalin November 10, 2011 at 11:10 am

New Cain campaign slogan:

"Why buy the milk when you can get the cow for free?
Cain – Sandusky, 2012 !!"

MOG2410 November 10, 2011 at 11:27 am

Too soon.

comrad_darkness November 10, 2011 at 11:10 am

Nancy and Rick, the Princess and the Pea Brain.

Limeylizzie November 10, 2011 at 11:10 am

Herman's Tweet pales by comparison.
http://2012.talkingpointsmemo.com/2011/11/ex-sc-g

V572625694 November 10, 2011 at 11:33 am

Isn't that a wonder! Just about to post it myself.

Republicans are amazing. South Carolina Republicans may not be in a class by themselves, but whatever class they're in, it doesn't take very long to call the roll.

BerkeleyBear November 10, 2011 at 12:05 pm

Yeah, but he did co-opt Herm's "lighten up, people it is just a joke" line. I swear, next logical step is for someone to claim the Gabby Giffords' shooting was a practical joke that just wasn't well thought out.

God knows we talk a lot of shit around here, but that was just a mean spirited diatribe of filth that had zero resemblance to da funniez.

Chet Kincaid November 10, 2011 at 12:10 pm

Well, none of us is here as a public figure well-established in politics and civic life, either. If any of you were known as the head of the DNC and called Palin a snow-cunt, I would say you have to go.

fuflans November 10, 2011 at 1:03 pm

somebody needs to sell this man a tv network!

gurukalehuru November 10, 2011 at 4:24 pm

People who say "people need to learn how to take a joke" need to learn how to tell a joke.

SorosBot November 10, 2011 at 11:10 am

Thank you Herman, but our House Minority Leader is in another castle.

hollywooddood November 10, 2011 at 11:10 am

As if he wouldn't pull Pelosi's head towards his crotch.

HedonismBot November 10, 2011 at 11:26 am

Wouldn't you like to see him try? After "Princess Nancy" got done with him, I bet they could bury him in a shoebox.

NorthStarSpanx November 10, 2011 at 2:54 pm

I've been trying to decide which scene grosses me out more, where Joe Pesci pushes Sharon Stone's head toward his crotch in Casino, or Herb doing the same with a number of bombshell blondes.

actor212 November 10, 2011 at 11:10 am

CAIN/PATERNO 2012: We got your family covered.

BaldarTFlagass November 10, 2011 at 11:11 am

Man. This guy, I swear.

Chichikovovich November 10, 2011 at 11:17 am

You said it. Geez. I mean, really.

V572625694 November 10, 2011 at 11:33 am

Are you kiddin me?

north_of_moscow November 10, 2011 at 11:11 am

So speaketh Big Daddy Cain. Wring out your squirrel covers, ladies, he's on a roll.

NorbertsRevenge November 10, 2011 at 11:37 am

I don't know what this means so I like it even more.

Callyson November 10, 2011 at 12:26 pm

Kick it old school:
Big Daddy Kane – I Get The Job Done http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eMAST0hMitw&fe

Joshua Norton November 10, 2011 at 11:11 am

Hyuck, hyuck, hyuck. Obviously this guy's the wingnutz Bill Cosby. Next thing you know he'll be doing Jello pudding commercials.

SorosBot November 10, 2011 at 11:34 am

Or moving on from "don't you want a job?" to allegedly drugging and groping young women.

BaldarTFlagass November 10, 2011 at 11:11 am

How do we know he wasn't talking about Mrs. Reagan? I mean, as disconnected with reality as this guy is….

Goonemeritus November 10, 2011 at 11:12 am

With all the red meat he is throwing to the extreme right wing can it be long before he runs a Willie Horton ad?

Chichikovovich November 10, 2011 at 11:20 am

How long before he runs an ad condemning the "Democrat party" for the rash of incidents in which blonde, white Republican women were sexually harassed by predatory lobbyists (with a darkened, shadowy photograph of himself with a black bar over the eyes, True Detective – style).

(I know, Sideshow Bob already did that, but I never thought I'd have a chance to see it in real life.)

comrad_darkness November 10, 2011 at 11:12 am

Newt Gingrich IS Princess Sparkle Pony. (spoken in the action flick ad narrator voice)

jqheywood November 10, 2011 at 11:48 am

OMG!!! PONIES!!!!

DaRooster November 10, 2011 at 11:13 am

“…that was a statement that I probably should not have made, but I was trying to make a point."

I think all the accusations against you have already made the same point.

HedonismBot November 10, 2011 at 11:27 am

"I shouldn'ta said that."
"I really shouldn't say this, but…"
Herman, just shut up already.

V572625694 November 10, 2011 at 11:35 am

"I don't have the facts to back this up, but I'm trying to make a point. It's a helluva lot easier to make these points if you don't worry about "facts" or "treating others (particularly the lay-deez) with respect."

Ducksworthy November 10, 2011 at 11:13 am

How come I can never find a death panel when I want one? Oh that's right, I'm no longer on private health insurance. They still have them, I'm pretty sure.

Chichikovovich November 10, 2011 at 11:13 am

Have there been any polls that indicate Cain is losing significant support from Republican Primary voters? It's hard to believe he wouldn't, but then it would have been hard to believe that a debate audience would openly boo a serving soldier just for being gay, or cheer at the idea of an uninsured patient dying, had it not happened.

From what little I've seen, the sans-culottist wing of the Republican party seems to be loving Cain's antics.

MOG2410 November 10, 2011 at 11:28 am

It appears to be working pretty well for him.

Chichikovovich November 10, 2011 at 11:33 am

Barbara Bush? I didn't know you were a Wonketeer.

MOG2410 November 10, 2011 at 11:36 am

Was it the pearls that gave me away?

freakishlywrong November 10, 2011 at 11:31 am

Well, t they've collectivly decided that harassing a woman is no biggie, unless a lefty does it. War is peace, yadiyadiya..

BaldarTFlagass November 10, 2011 at 11:50 am

Well, Herman didn't get no pussy. Bill did.

HedonismBot November 10, 2011 at 11:32 am

The good news is, the general public and "independent voters" are turned off by this kind of shite. This stuff costs Republicans general elections.
The bad news is, no matter how bad it gets, "red meat Republicans" eat this stuff up. They are in large numbers, and they're not going away.
Someday in the far future, when I'm an old old man, progress in this country that I love is still going to be slow and held back by its more regressive elements. I see why right-wingers reject evolution: It doesn't apply to them.

Dok-cupy Everything November 10, 2011 at 11:55 am

That was beautiful and true.

finallyhappy November 10, 2011 at 11:36 am

Who the hell are the audiences and who are answering the polls? I supposedly know decent Republicans (2 of them- the 3rd one is a whiner) but the rest must be morons.

Chet Kincaid November 10, 2011 at 12:16 pm

As others have pointed out, people with land lines who have nothing better to do than waste time on the phone. Skews data much, you think?

BerkeleyBear November 10, 2011 at 12:13 pm

There hasn't been much polling as to how the scandal itself effects people's views (which would probably get really poor results anyways). There was some polling right after the story broke that had something like 70 percent of GOP voters not caring/believing the accusations, and the audience booed at the debate when the hosts asked about this issue and its impact.
The closest thing to a negative impact I can glean is a few polls show Newt getting a bump up, but even there Cain's own numbers aren't dropping at a 1:1 rate.
This might even have a rally the wagons effect in Cain's favor (or would, if he could figure out a story and stick with it) among the white men who make up the GOP base and are convinced that civil rights and sexual equality are all about giving "special rights" to minorities and women at their expense.

Texan_Bulldog November 10, 2011 at 11:14 am

He should have just called her a c*nt like this classy guy from SC:
http://2012.talkingpointsmemo.com/2011/11/ex-sc-g

ProudLibunatic November 10, 2011 at 11:14 am

OT
Ken!!!
Can you ban the white supremacist troll?
He's harshing my mellow.

SorosBot November 10, 2011 at 11:35 am

Wait, where? Have I missed something?

BaldarTFlagass November 10, 2011 at 11:52 am

Some troglodyte paid a visit to the previous post or two last night. So stereotypically Neanderthal that I suspect he was a parody troll. STUKA88, was his name.

Dok-cupy Everything November 10, 2011 at 11:55 am

Poe's Law visits us yet again.

swordfis November 10, 2011 at 2:00 pm

I replied to Stuka 88 and mentioned his Neanderthal connection. The Stuka 88 was an advanced-model Luftwaffe fighter plane. Don't ban him – I enjoy comparing him to pre-conscious life forms and haven't exhausted my list yet.

Chet Kincaid November 10, 2011 at 12:18 pm

Send Ken an email directly.

ProudLibunatic November 10, 2011 at 2:21 pm

How do I do that?

Chet Kincaid November 10, 2011 at 2:34 pm

Click on any Wonkette author's name and you're taken to a page with their email address and links to all their posts. Just search for Ken Layne in the search box.

Biel_ze_Bubba November 10, 2011 at 1:07 pm

Awww …. I thought he was kinda cute, in a cartoony-racist way. As it is, we get very few visitors from 1950.

widestanceshakedown November 10, 2011 at 11:14 am

I hate that my snark wants to go places my heart just won't let me go in insulting this asshole, because he truly deserves so much worse than what I'll post here.

Chet Kincaid November 10, 2011 at 12:19 pm

There is no need to go racist when he has provided such a wide target of attack, if that's what you're driving at.

widestanceshakedown November 10, 2011 at 1:02 pm

Exactly. My snark's been very hungry, but not enough to kill.

McRibzgood November 10, 2011 at 11:16 am

Would you like some more toe jam with that foot in your mouth.

paris biltong November 10, 2011 at 11:16 am

Leave the poor fucker alone. With him and Perry out of he picture, Michele a non-starter, Newt there for decorative purposes only, we've got the two Mormons left. Time for a non-Mormon to enter the race. Palin? Who else?

widestanceshakedown November 10, 2011 at 11:32 am

Decorative? Only if the rest of the group is mooning the whole debate.

Oh, and "none of them, Paris."

comrad_darkness November 10, 2011 at 11:54 am

Ghouliani can still swoop in on his bat wings, screeching 9/11.

Biel_ze_Bubba November 10, 2011 at 1:08 pm

That's all fine, but isn't it time for a non-moron to enter the race?

HistoriCat November 10, 2011 at 1:28 pm

All the non-moron Republicans are venal assholes who realize they have no chance in hell of winning a general if they pander to the nutbags who will select the nominee. If any of them have Presidential aspirations, they'll hold off until 2016 (Chris Christie – I'm looking at you).

Dok-cupy Everything November 10, 2011 at 11:16 am

Many thanks to Barrelhse in the previous thread for their link to Richard Adams's liveblog / debate summary in the Guardian. At one point, Adams says I can't wait for the transcript of that Rick Perry brain freeze. Until then I'm reminded of that old quote: "It adds a new terror to life and makes death a long-felt want."

Yes, indeed. Also have to agree with the overall verdict:

In summary: this was a cosmically awful debate. To talk about winners and losers here makes no sense. Like the Battle of the Somme, any gains were measured in inches.

IncenseDebate November 10, 2011 at 11:24 am

…any gains were measured in inches.

- One of Cain's statements on women's rights.

Biel_ze_Bubba November 10, 2011 at 1:11 pm

My favorite line:

"Perry was reduced to doing an excellent impression of a goldfish tipped out of its tank."

meatlofer November 10, 2011 at 11:16 am

Pelosi's Pizza Emporium, it sings!

SayItWithWookies November 10, 2011 at 11:18 am

Well, I underestimated Herman Cain — I thought he just liked demeaning blondes who were within a fifty foot radius and who mistakenly relied on him for some sort of assistance. But no, he also demeans an intelligent, extremely capable, glass-ceiling-shattering grandmother who wrangled comprehensive healthcare reform through the House for the first time in a hundred years.

That means he's not only a misogynist loudmouth pig, but one who clearly doesn't recognize either talent or a formidable adversary. The man's got a long way to go before he's ready for anything more constructive than his obscure AM talk radio gig.

Dok-cupy Everything November 10, 2011 at 11:26 am

His goal all along has been to become a fixture in the right-wing media enterprise, so I'd say his audition has been a huge success.

BerkeleyBear November 10, 2011 at 12:17 pm

And somewhere, Nancy laughs that Bal'more laugh and takes another sip of a perfect dry martini while laying out the strategy to take back the House and undo the crap of the last cycle.

Chet Kincaid November 10, 2011 at 12:23 pm

I hope to God you are right!

KathrynSane November 10, 2011 at 11:18 am

Jeez, what did you guys expect him to do? She's not hot, so he can't assault her, but she's still a woman, so he can't respect her. Misogynist mockery is really the only option.

ProgressiveInga November 10, 2011 at 11:33 am

Call me a freak, but I think Princess Nancy is hot. And, if given half a chance, she would stone cold cut off his nertz before he knew what hit him.

BerkeleyBear November 10, 2011 at 12:19 pm

For her age, Nancy is hot. And her boobs are freaking huge (because she's short, it is even more magnified -we're talking Dolly Parton territory). Cain would absolutely slobber over her if they were in the same room.

HistoriCat November 10, 2011 at 1:32 pm

The photo of a young Nancy with John F. Kennedy really proves her hotness.

Chillwaver November 10, 2011 at 11:19 am

Nobody can take the Drama Queen title from Hermit, that's for sure.

Radio99% November 10, 2011 at 11:22 am

Sheet, Hermie cawls awl the ladies princess. *Listenin' to a little Marvin Gaye* Sultry, y'all.

Chillwaver November 10, 2011 at 11:24 am

"Would you like to taste my chocolate-covered walnuts, Princess?"

freakishlywrong November 10, 2011 at 11:27 am

He's just calling her "princess" because "Nancy" would punch him in both balls. Twice.

Oblios_Cap November 10, 2011 at 11:58 am

When it comes to Pelosi, Herm's just a nancy boy.

chascates November 10, 2011 at 11:29 am

Last week Cain said "I have been a professional. I respect women," he said.

A professional what?

BarackMyWorld November 10, 2011 at 11:31 am

Good thing he's not going to be president…then he might have to work with her.

MOG2410 November 10, 2011 at 11:31 am

So far his base seems to be loving it, I guess they are really tired of being harassed for their inappropriate behavior on the job. Poor things. "Just trying to be friendly, you need to get a sense of humor."*
*Actual comment from a drunken colleague after I shoved his hand out of my crotch – while I was driving down Rt. 66 at about 70 mph.

SayItWithWookies November 10, 2011 at 11:47 am

Lovely. That's when you press the button to deactivate the passenger airbag.

ThundercatHo November 10, 2011 at 1:11 pm

Should've shoved him out of the car also, too.

MOG2410 November 10, 2011 at 1:26 pm

He eventually got his, I became his boss and killed him with kindness. Or was it a sawsall? Can't remember.

raygotaway November 10, 2011 at 11:32 am

That foot is down Herman's throat so deep they're digging socks out of him.

Biel_ze_Bubba November 10, 2011 at 1:15 pm

So deep, they're digging his sock out of his ass.

V572625694 November 10, 2011 at 11:37 am

There are thousands of women Cain did not sexually assault. Don't forget that.

JustPixelz November 10, 2011 at 11:47 am

Yes. Out of the 3.5 billion women alive today, there are literally thousands he has not harassed or assaulted.

V572625694 November 10, 2011 at 11:49 am

Yet.

MOG2410 November 10, 2011 at 1:26 pm

So many women, so little time.

ttommyunger November 10, 2011 at 11:38 am

Hermie knows this is exactly the kind of red-meat sophomoric shit that gets his base all hard or moist. Believe it or not, he is saying these sort of things intentionally for a very politically sound reason, from a Far-Right Total Asshole point of view. My Rightard friends here in Dumfukistan are eating this up with a spoon and a smile.

V572625694 November 10, 2011 at 11:50 am

Today we are all Dumbfuckistanis, but tip our hats to South Carolina.

ttommyunger November 10, 2011 at 11:55 am

S.C., what a beautiful State… What a benighted, mouth-breathing populace.

Chet Kincaid November 10, 2011 at 12:26 pm

I am still not understanding the psychology of rednecks on this. It's ok for a "nigger" to harass "decent white women" if he hates the other "nigger"? How does this make any sense?

imissopus November 10, 2011 at 1:11 pm

It's okay when the decent white woman is a San Francisco liberal. Plus with the way she rammed healthcare down our throats, it's obvious she's gotten too uppity, while Herm clearly knows how to shuck and jive for his audience.

Why, it was not quite sixty years ago that a bunch of rednecks lynched Emmett Till for allegedly whistling at a white woman! Now a black man can stand on stage and demean a high government official on national TV. I wonder if we could get off oil forever by harnessing the power generated by every dead civil rights leader spinning in their graves. I'm a white guy in his mid-30s but I'm still pretty sure this is not what MLK had in mind.

Chet Kincaid November 10, 2011 at 2:37 pm

You are my flightless waterfowl from another egg!!

ttommyunger November 10, 2011 at 5:20 pm

Chet, you lack a basic understanding of the Southern Mentality: there are “good” niggers and “bad” niggers in their mind. Herman is the former, a House Nigger; always subservient and looking out only for his Master's best interests. All others fall into the latter category.

ttommyunger November 10, 2011 at 5:21 pm

As for the white women, they are considered to be nothing more than lying cunts.

bebecca2298 November 10, 2011 at 2:25 pm

They really live their Christian values, don't they?

ttommyunger November 10, 2011 at 5:22 pm

When in Church, yes.

SayItWithWookies November 10, 2011 at 11:44 am

Oh, and here's a rundown of the bill Herman was touting, HR 3000. In case anyone was wondering, it does the following:

– provides a measly $300 million in block grants to states for health care;
– establishes employer groups that give "wellness incentives," which to me sounds like a monthly pamphlet encouraging exercise and eating right;
– gives poor people a tax credit (?!) that in no way would offset premiums;
– caps malpractice payouts (wheee for the GOP tort reform hobbyhorse);
– gives antitrust protection to insurance companies (which they don't need, since they're already part of the problem).

In other words, it's better than what we had before the ACA, but really doesn't do shit compared to what the ACA does. Herman's all for it because it would help insurance companies and not people. Fuck him and his shitty secondhand ideas.

JustPixelz November 10, 2011 at 11:59 am

Thank you for looking that up.

When asked what should replace ACA, the Repubicans talk about giving Medicare "back to the states" (whatever the hell that means), doctor-patient relationship and health savings accounts.

I don't hear them talk about two key issues:
- refusal to insure due to pre-existing conditions
- people who opt out, thus shifting their health costs to others via bankruptcy or just refusing to pay

Treatment for stage zero breast cancer (surgery, radiation, etc) is, like, $50,000. And afterwards you cannot buy insurance in the market at any price. I want the all Repubicans on stage last night to trust the market with their wife's health. (I'm including Marcus in the "wife" category because, well … it's obvious.) Sit in the "crying room" and realize the difference between life and death for the love of your life is an insurance card.

SayItWithWookies November 10, 2011 at 12:11 pm

Well we already know how Newt would handle his wife's cancer — repeal and replace.

BerkeleyBear November 10, 2011 at 12:27 pm

I wouldn't even agree that piece of shit was better than nothing, since it would be the first step to block granting all Medicare and Medicaid funds (the current hard-on for the right), eliminate the disincentive to reckless medicine malpractice creates (and don't tell me Rand Paul would be first in line to overdo it), and would green light formalized monopolies at a time when costs are already on a monopolistic arc that seems to have no connection to market conditions. I also have a sneaky suspicion this would be linked to the ability for people to buy insurance from any company in the country the GOP kept touting – ie, allowing companies to avoid all state regulations and coverage requirements by setting up in Guam and then selling crap policies as "low cost health insurance" all over the country.

But other than that, just an awesome plan. Sometimes I wonder how stupid Americans must be, then the GOP gets away with labeling something this craptastic as a "serious solution" and I know.

Biel_ze_Bubba November 10, 2011 at 1:21 pm

A "healtcare" bill that does essentially nothing … except give antitrust protection to insurance companies. I can't imagine who actually wrote that bill. Oh wait … I think I can.

Generation[redacted] November 10, 2011 at 11:44 am

Calling a former Speaker of the House "Princess?" Who does he think he is, Tom Delay's cell mate?

jqheywood November 10, 2011 at 11:57 am

Excellent. I now have to get the coffee off of my monitor and keyboard…

Chet Kincaid November 10, 2011 at 1:08 pm

That was so good, I need to see the slo-mo instant replay!

JustPixelz November 10, 2011 at 11:45 am

He was making a point?! Was it that Pelosi was able to pass legislation somehow while Bone-Her hasn't done jackshit?

El Pinche November 10, 2011 at 11:45 am

Ha! Republislugs still can't over the fact that Nancy Pelosi, who happens to have a vagina, was one of the best House speakers in US history. John Boner is a waste of human organs.

V572625694 November 10, 2011 at 11:53 am

It wouldn't matter if she were Benjamin Disraeli: ya cain't have a woman in charge of men. Jus ain't right.

Generation[redacted] November 10, 2011 at 12:01 pm

Don't you worry your pretty little head about jerbs, missy, we menfolk are gonna spend this session of Congress debating the God is Awesome resolution.

BerkeleyBear November 10, 2011 at 12:29 pm

And the All Hail Baby Jesus amendment. Jus' baby Jesus, mind you, because the older one was a long haired hippy who didn't bathe regular.

ThundercatHo November 10, 2011 at 1:15 pm

If he will donate his organs now I'll buy the jellyfish.

Biel_ze_Bubba November 10, 2011 at 1:26 pm

"a waste of human organs"

Granted, the guy's a bit old to start riding a motorcycle, but I bet he'd insist of his freedumb to go without a helmet … so there's still hope.

iburl November 10, 2011 at 11:47 am

If you don't have a job it's your own fault (for not putting out).

UnholyMoses November 10, 2011 at 11:52 am

Needs moar Mike Tyson.

Because Pizza Pthursday would be awesome!

SorosBot November 10, 2011 at 12:00 pm

I don't know, there's something about a serial sexual harasser being played by an actual rapist that's a bit unsettling.

UnholyMoses November 10, 2011 at 12:07 pm

Yeah, I thought about that as well.

Though I'm not sure whether or not that was purposeful on the part of FoD. Knowing them as I do (but only on an Internet basis –THERE WAS NO TOUCHING, I SWEAR!), it just might be.

WhatTheHeck November 10, 2011 at 12:01 pm

Cain as pizza delivery boy: “I deliver in 30 minutes or less, or the pie is free.”

Chet Kincaid November 10, 2011 at 1:01 pm

He doesn't sound or act like Herman Cain, the material is not a particularly insightful satire of the man, and Tyson is a rapist. Total win, FOD!

CapnFatback November 10, 2011 at 11:57 am

To be fair, when you're an ogre, anyone on the opposite side of you must appear to be a princess.

friendlyskies November 10, 2011 at 12:05 pm

There is nothing you can even call Herman Cain that isn't an insult to the other party. I can't say he's a crusty old herpes sore with chronic halitosis without unfairly defaming crusty old herpes sores with chronic halitosis. Hmph.

An_Outhouse November 10, 2011 at 12:08 pm

Princess SMASH!!!!

Callyson November 10, 2011 at 12:22 pm

“that was a statement that I probably should not have made, but I was trying to make a point.”
Actually, it's your point that keeps getting you in trouble with the womenfolk…

Chet Kincaid November 10, 2011 at 12:36 pm

What a wonderful country this is! In the '50s and before, it was well established that white women were above Negro men in the written rules of social status, a humiliation leading to a lot of misguided behavior (as well as revenge literature by the likes of Amiri Baraka).

Now, the soaring popularity of Herman Cain demonstrates that our Olde Antagonists, the shit-kicking, red-faced nigger-haters, will throw in with obsequious black males over uppity liberal white broads when push comes to shove. This is what passes for progress in red states! You are right, old black people tired of northern winters — I'm selling all my Chicago shit and moving to Georgia for the Great Regression!

Biel_ze_Bubba November 10, 2011 at 1:28 pm

Congratulations on your new-found status!

mattbenzing November 10, 2011 at 12:42 pm

Really disgusted by this, too disgusted to even make a joke. My ignorant teabagger sister just read me the riot act for posting this on Facebook, because its all an Obama plot. She's been a bitter racist her whole life (it's how we were raised) but now she thinks shes a progressive because she likes Cain's minstrel act. Please God, if you're there, let this clown be the Republican nominee.

mavenmaven November 10, 2011 at 12:42 pm

Hey, he's a source now of 24 hour comedy: http://www.caintruth.com/

DahBoner November 10, 2011 at 1:01 pm

Princess?

I didn't know Nancy Pelosi was Jewish

fuflans November 10, 2011 at 1:07 pm

well, to be fair, when WAS the last time nancy made a shitty pizza, hmmmm?

Guppy November 10, 2011 at 1:16 pm

I would have reached for "ice queen" personally, but I suppose that's why Cain has handlers, amirite?

Chet Kincaid November 10, 2011 at 1:36 pm

Emmett Till is all "you gotta be fuckin' kiddin' me!!" in his grave.

Too soon?

lulzmonger November 10, 2011 at 2:27 pm

… & then he flounced away from yet another scrum, waving his magic 9-9-9 Wand!

chascates November 10, 2011 at 4:56 pm

CNN has posted Cain's 'sort-of' apology:
"I apologize for calling her 'Princess Pelosi,' if that's the biggest story you all have, OK?" Cain told reporters after addressing supporters at a diner in Ypsilanti, Michigan.
"That was a statement that I probably shouldn't have made, but I was trying to make a point," he said on CNBC.

Just like shoving a women's face into his crotch is making a point about how to get a job.

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