the king of class

Relive Magic Sex Creep Herman Cain Calling Nancy Pelosi ‘Princess’

Here is the second-place “highlight” from last night’s debate, the part where known scumbag Herman Cain realizes he can’t actually sexually harass anyone on stage, so he settles for just saying something sexist and calls Nancy Pelosi “Princess Nancy” in the course of an incoherent rant about some irrelevant years-old health care legislation. Herman Cain, he sure knows how to charm the ladies!

His staff loved this inane comment so much that they tweeted it, to be professional. Old Herm came back after the debate to say “that was a statement that I probably should not have made, but I was trying to make a point.” Because come on, if there are any former House Speakers who deserve to be called “princess,” it is definitely Newt Gingrich. [TPM]

Comments

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  • Schmannnity

    Emperor Cain is increasingly disrobed.

    • Not_So_Much

      ew. I need brain bleach for that.

  • http://ifthethunderdontgetya.blogspot.com/ ifthethunderdontgetya

    "Show me on the doll where Herman Cain offered you a job"

    ♪♫ Rock You Like A Herman Cain ♪♫♪♫
    ~

    • IncenseDebate

      I would but mom said I should never touch another person's generals.

      • widestanceshakedown

        ♪♫♪♫ Aw, but that's where the fun is. . .♪♫♪♫

        • BaldarTFlagass

          Want some whiskey in your water?
          Sugar in your tea?
          What's all these crazy questions they're askin' me?
          This is the craziest party that could ever be
          Don't turn on the lights 'cause I don't wanna see

          ♫That ain't the way to have fun, son♪

    • mattbenzing

      "You are like a Herman Cain / There's lust in your eyes"

  • Barb

    Herman is just used to dealing with the "leave the money on the dresser" type of women.

    • Schmannnity

      Why pay for it when you can coerce it in the workplace?

      • emmelemm

        Honestly, though, it's so much more expensive: $40, $50k a pop.

        ETA: But so worth it!

  • Buzz Feedback

    I'm sure Herm will have no problem with Princess calling him Kunta.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Toby, dammit!

      • Buzz Feedback

        Point taken!

      • Dok-cupy Everything

        Bop-sha-Bop, son of Sha-na-na!

        Your name is Peggy Fleming!!

  • GuanoFaucet

    How presidential of him.

    • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

      That was my thought, exactly.
      As if coming across 'presidential' has any meaning for wingnutardia, anymore.

    • carlgt1

      it is a really dumbing down of our political scene if this childish jerk is a top candidate. I mean I just watched the one where he is screaming that "liberals" (who are what, 20% to 50% of the nation?) are all stupid etc etc. Only Repubs could claim to love America so much that they hate most Americans!

  • Goonemeritus

    Yes but she is a Pretty Pretty Princess.

    • hagajim

      I think Herman was hitting on her…shooting for a PJ?

  • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

    Princess Newtie, Princess Larry Craig, Princess Mark Foley, and the biggest grandest princess of all Princess Ricky Perry.

    • nounverb911

      Lest us not forget Queens Marcus and Lindsey.

      • finallyhappy

        DAMN- I was going to write Queen Marcus- I swear

    • http://www.storycorner.us/ JustPixelz

      What about Baroness Boehner?

    • MOG2410

      Empress Michelle? Or Czarina?

      • comrad_darkness

        Michelle or Michele?

        • MOG2410

          Yikes sorry, crazy-eyed Michele.

          • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

            That would be Cinderella … and she ain't goin to the ball.

  • http://ifthethunderdontgetya.blogspot.com/ ifthethunderdontgetya

    "The two other big problems with Dodd-Frank, are Dodd and Frank.'"

    I wish someone had asked Cain what Dodd-Frank is.
    ~

    • Not_So_Much

      Duh, it's when you grab a hot blond by her dodd and force her down onto your frank.

    • Dok-cupy Everything

      I was hoping he'd say that neither of them should be re-elected this year, just to demonstrate that he doesn't know that Dodd left the Senate…

    • tihond

      "The exports of Dodd-Frank are numerous in amount. One thing they export is corn, or as the Indians call it, "maize". Another famous Indian was "Crazy Horse". In conclusion, Dodd-Frank is a land of contrast. Thank you."

  • EatsBabyDingos

    Herman Cain is unqualified to be dog catcher. Even on the moon.

  • freddymcmurray

    If anyone in this world is a fancy nancy, it's that mute princess from Texass.

  • nounverb911

    Has Cain's wife materialized yet?

    • VaWyo

      No. I think she has entered the humilliated republican wife relocation program. There's a never ending supply of women needing this assistance.

    • widestanceshakedown

      She's detained on the Democrat plantation.

    • Oblios_Cap

      He's probably chopped her up and served her on a pizza.

  • IncenseDebate

    I feel like I witnessed something disturbing last night. Should I go to the police?

    • Sue4466

      If it was the rape of a child yes. You don't have to be a football coach to know that.

      • IncenseDebate

        It was rape of our collective intelligence.

  • Pragmatist2

    Herman thinks that "harass"is two words.

    • McRibzgood

      Tee-Hee

      "Her Ass"

    • http://www.storycorner.us/ JustPixelz

      Apparently his wife doesn't think Herman is two words.

    • Oblios_Cap

      It's not?

  • GuanoFaucet

    Cain is a sex-crazed fucktard. I probably shouldn't have said that, but I was just trying to make a point.

    • Ducksworthy

      Even though you haven't got the facts to back that up (yet).

      • freakishlywrong

        Oh Ducks. I think we do have the facts. And as far as backing that up; that's what Herm said!

    • Pragmatist2

      We are all sex-crazed fucktards, but most of us are not running for office.

  • SexySmurf

    In Herman Cain's defense, Nancy Pelosi refers to him as "Little Caesar."

    • http://thethingsrepublicanshate.com/ Chillwaver

      Actually, I bet Nancy refers to him as "Who the fuck is this clown?"

    • Sue4466

      She knows he's got something to do with pizza pizza.

    • http://www.facebook.com/pages/Johnny-Appletruth/133951326629923?sk=wall deanbooth

      Maybe after the next debate we'll hear Cain say "Is this the end of Rico!?"

      [I am sooooooo old!]

  • http://wonkette.com/ Monsieur_Grumpe

    This man needs to tested… for STDs.

    • emmelemm

      Yes, someone mentioned late stage syphyllis a while back… it would explain a few things.

      • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

        Naw … that's what Perry's got. Herm's just a narcissistic pig.

  • Indiepalin

    New Cain campaign slogan:

    "Why buy the milk when you can get the cow for free?
    Cain – Sandusky, 2012 !!"

    • MOG2410

      Too soon.

  • comrad_darkness

    Nancy and Rick, the Princess and the Pea Brain.

  • Limeylizzie

    Herman's Tweet pales by comparison.
    http://2012.talkingpointsmemo.com/2011/11/ex-sc-g

    • V572625694

      Isn't that a wonder! Just about to post it myself.

      Republicans are amazing. South Carolina Republicans may not be in a class by themselves, but whatever class they're in, it doesn't take very long to call the roll.

    • BerkeleyBear

      Yeah, but he did co-opt Herm's "lighten up, people it is just a joke" line. I swear, next logical step is for someone to claim the Gabby Giffords' shooting was a practical joke that just wasn't well thought out.

      God knows we talk a lot of shit around here, but that was just a mean spirited diatribe of filth that had zero resemblance to da funniez.

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

        Well, none of us is here as a public figure well-established in politics and civic life, either. If any of you were known as the head of the DNC and called Palin a snow-cunt, I would say you have to go.

    • fuflans

      somebody needs to sell this man a tv network!

    • http://www.gurukalehuru.wordpress.com gurukalehuru

      People who say "people need to learn how to take a joke" need to learn how to tell a joke.

  • SorosBot

    Thank you Herman, but our House Minority Leader is in another castle.

  • hollywooddood

    As if he wouldn't pull Pelosi's head towards his crotch.

    • HedonismBot

      Wouldn't you like to see him try? After "Princess Nancy" got done with him, I bet they could bury him in a shoebox.

      • NorthStarSpanx

        I've been trying to decide which scene grosses me out more, where Joe Pesci pushes Sharon Stone's head toward his crotch in Casino, or Herb doing the same with a number of bombshell blondes.

  • actor212

    CAIN/PATERNO 2012: We got your family covered.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Man. This guy, I swear.

    • Chichikovovich

      You said it. Geez. I mean, really.

    • V572625694

      Are you kiddin me?

  • north_of_moscow

    So speaketh Big Daddy Cain. Wring out your squirrel covers, ladies, he's on a roll.

  • Joshua Norton

    Hyuck, hyuck, hyuck. Obviously this guy's the wingnutz Bill Cosby. Next thing you know he'll be doing Jello pudding commercials.

    • SorosBot

      Or moving on from "don't you want a job?" to allegedly drugging and groping young women.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    How do we know he wasn't talking about Mrs. Reagan? I mean, as disconnected with reality as this guy is….

  • Goonemeritus

    With all the red meat he is throwing to the extreme right wing can it be long before he runs a Willie Horton ad?

    • Chichikovovich

      How long before he runs an ad condemning the "Democrat party" for the rash of incidents in which blonde, white Republican women were sexually harassed by predatory lobbyists (with a darkened, shadowy photograph of himself with a black bar over the eyes, True Detective – style).

      (I know, Sideshow Bob already did that, but I never thought I'd have a chance to see it in real life.)

  • comrad_darkness

    Newt Gingrich IS Princess Sparkle Pony. (spoken in the action flick ad narrator voice)

    • jqheywood

      OMG!!! PONIES!!!!

  • DaRooster

    “…that was a statement that I probably should not have made, but I was trying to make a point."

    I think all the accusations against you have already made the same point.

    • HedonismBot

      "I shouldn'ta said that."
      "I really shouldn't say this, but…"
      Herman, just shut up already.

    • V572625694

      "I don't have the facts to back this up, but I'm trying to make a point. It's a helluva lot easier to make these points if you don't worry about "facts" or "treating others (particularly the lay-deez) with respect."

  • Ducksworthy

    How come I can never find a death panel when I want one? Oh that's right, I'm no longer on private health insurance. They still have them, I'm pretty sure.

  • Chichikovovich

    Have there been any polls that indicate Cain is losing significant support from Republican Primary voters? It's hard to believe he wouldn't, but then it would have been hard to believe that a debate audience would openly boo a serving soldier just for being gay, or cheer at the idea of an uninsured patient dying, had it not happened.

    From what little I've seen, the sans-culottist wing of the Republican party seems to be loving Cain's antics.

    • MOG2410

      It appears to be working pretty well for him.

      • Chichikovovich

        Barbara Bush? I didn't know you were a Wonketeer.

        • MOG2410

          Was it the pearls that gave me away?

    • freakishlywrong

      Well, t they've collectivly decided that harassing a woman is no biggie, unless a lefty does it. War is peace, yadiyadiya..

      • BaldarTFlagass

        Well, Herman didn't get no pussy. Bill did.

    • HedonismBot

      The good news is, the general public and "independent voters" are turned off by this kind of shite. This stuff costs Republicans general elections.
      The bad news is, no matter how bad it gets, "red meat Republicans" eat this stuff up. They are in large numbers, and they're not going away.
      Someday in the far future, when I'm an old old man, progress in this country that I love is still going to be slow and held back by its more regressive elements. I see why right-wingers reject evolution: It doesn't apply to them.

      • Dok-cupy Everything

        That was beautiful and true.

    • finallyhappy

      Who the hell are the audiences and who are answering the polls? I supposedly know decent Republicans (2 of them- the 3rd one is a whiner) but the rest must be morons.

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

        As others have pointed out, people with land lines who have nothing better to do than waste time on the phone. Skews data much, you think?

    • BerkeleyBear

      There hasn't been much polling as to how the scandal itself effects people's views (which would probably get really poor results anyways). There was some polling right after the story broke that had something like 70 percent of GOP voters not caring/believing the accusations, and the audience booed at the debate when the hosts asked about this issue and its impact.
      The closest thing to a negative impact I can glean is a few polls show Newt getting a bump up, but even there Cain's own numbers aren't dropping at a 1:1 rate.
      This might even have a rally the wagons effect in Cain's favor (or would, if he could figure out a story and stick with it) among the white men who make up the GOP base and are convinced that civil rights and sexual equality are all about giving "special rights" to minorities and women at their expense.

  • Texan_Bulldog

    He should have just called her a c*nt like this classy guy from SC:
    http://2012.talkingpointsmemo.com/2011/11/ex-sc-g

  • http://Wonkette.com ProudLibunatic

    OT
    Ken!!!
    Can you ban the white supremacist troll?
    He's harshing my mellow.

    • SorosBot

      Wait, where? Have I missed something?

      • BaldarTFlagass

        Some troglodyte paid a visit to the previous post or two last night. So stereotypically Neanderthal that I suspect he was a parody troll. STUKA88, was his name.

        • Dok-cupy Everything

          Poe's Law visits us yet again.

        • swordfis

          I replied to Stuka 88 and mentioned his Neanderthal connection. The Stuka 88 was an advanced-model Luftwaffe fighter plane. Don't ban him – I enjoy comparing him to pre-conscious life forms and haven't exhausted my list yet.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

      Send Ken an email directly.

      • http://Wonkette.com ProudLibunatic

        How do I do that?

        • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

          Click on any Wonkette author's name and you're taken to a page with their email address and links to all their posts. Just search for Ken Layne in the search box.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Awww …. I thought he was kinda cute, in a cartoony-racist way. As it is, we get very few visitors from 1950.

  • widestanceshakedown

    I hate that my snark wants to go places my heart just won't let me go in insulting this asshole, because he truly deserves so much worse than what I'll post here.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

      There is no need to go racist when he has provided such a wide target of attack, if that's what you're driving at.

      • widestanceshakedown

        Exactly. My snark's been very hungry, but not enough to kill.

  • McRibzgood

    Would you like some more toe jam with that foot in your mouth.

  • paris biltong

    Leave the poor fucker alone. With him and Perry out of he picture, Michele a non-starter, Newt there for decorative purposes only, we've got the two Mormons left. Time for a non-Mormon to enter the race. Palin? Who else?

    • widestanceshakedown

      Decorative? Only if the rest of the group is mooning the whole debate.

      Oh, and "none of them, Paris."

    • comrad_darkness

      Ghouliani can still swoop in on his bat wings, screeching 9/11.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      That's all fine, but isn't it time for a non-moron to enter the race?

      • HistoriCat

        All the non-moron Republicans are venal assholes who realize they have no chance in hell of winning a general if they pander to the nutbags who will select the nominee. If any of them have Presidential aspirations, they'll hold off until 2016 (Chris Christie – I'm looking at you).

  • Dok-cupy Everything

    Many thanks to Barrelhse in the previous thread for their link to Richard Adams's liveblog / debate summary in the Guardian. At one point, Adams says I can't wait for the transcript of that Rick Perry brain freeze. Until then I'm reminded of that old quote: "It adds a new terror to life and makes death a long-felt want."

    Yes, indeed. Also have to agree with the overall verdict:

    In summary: this was a cosmically awful debate. To talk about winners and losers here makes no sense. Like the Battle of the Somme, any gains were measured in inches.

    • IncenseDebate

      …any gains were measured in inches.

      – One of Cain's statements on women's rights.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      My favorite line:

      "Perry was reduced to doing an excellent impression of a goldfish tipped out of its tank."

  • meatlofer

    Pelosi's Pizza Emporium, it sings!

  • SayItWithWookies

    Well, I underestimated Herman Cain — I thought he just liked demeaning blondes who were within a fifty foot radius and who mistakenly relied on him for some sort of assistance. But no, he also demeans an intelligent, extremely capable, glass-ceiling-shattering grandmother who wrangled comprehensive healthcare reform through the House for the first time in a hundred years.

    That means he's not only a misogynist loudmouth pig, but one who clearly doesn't recognize either talent or a formidable adversary. The man's got a long way to go before he's ready for anything more constructive than his obscure AM talk radio gig.

    • Dok-cupy Everything

      His goal all along has been to become a fixture in the right-wing media enterprise, so I'd say his audition has been a huge success.

    • BerkeleyBear

      And somewhere, Nancy laughs that Bal'more laugh and takes another sip of a perfect dry martini while laying out the strategy to take back the House and undo the crap of the last cycle.

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

        I hope to God you are right!

  • KathrynSane

    Jeez, what did you guys expect him to do? She's not hot, so he can't assault her, but she's still a woman, so he can't respect her. Misogynist mockery is really the only option.

    • ProgressiveInga

      Call me a freak, but I think Princess Nancy is hot. And, if given half a chance, she would stone cold cut off his nertz before he knew what hit him.

    • BerkeleyBear

      For her age, Nancy is hot. And her boobs are freaking huge (because she's short, it is even more magnified -we're talking Dolly Parton territory). Cain would absolutely slobber over her if they were in the same room.

      • HistoriCat

        The photo of a young Nancy with John F. Kennedy really proves her hotness.

  • http://thethingsrepublicanshate.com/ Chillwaver

    Nobody can take the Drama Queen title from Hermit, that's for sure.

  • Radio99%

    Sheet, Hermie cawls awl the ladies princess. *Listenin' to a little Marvin Gaye* Sultry, y'all.

  • http://thethingsrepublicanshate.com/ Chillwaver

    "Would you like to taste my chocolate-covered walnuts, Princess?"

  • freakishlywrong

    He's just calling her "princess" because "Nancy" would punch him in both balls. Twice.

    • Oblios_Cap

      When it comes to Pelosi, Herm's just a nancy boy.

  • chascates

    Last week Cain said "I have been a professional. I respect women," he said.

    A professional what?

  • BarackMyWorld

    Good thing he's not going to be president…then he might have to work with her.

  • MOG2410

    So far his base seems to be loving it, I guess they are really tired of being harassed for their inappropriate behavior on the job. Poor things. "Just trying to be friendly, you need to get a sense of humor."*
    *Actual comment from a drunken colleague after I shoved his hand out of my crotch – while I was driving down Rt. 66 at about 70 mph.

    • SayItWithWookies

      Lovely. That's when you press the button to deactivate the passenger airbag.

    • ThundercatHo

      Should've shoved him out of the car also, too.

      • MOG2410

        He eventually got his, I became his boss and killed him with kindness. Or was it a sawsall? Can't remember.

  • raygotaway

    That foot is down Herman's throat so deep they're digging socks out of him.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      So deep, they're digging his sock out of his ass.

  • V572625694

    There are thousands of women Cain did not sexually assault. Don't forget that.

    • http://www.storycorner.us/ JustPixelz

      Yes. Out of the 3.5 billion women alive today, there are literally thousands he has not harassed or assaulted.

      • V572625694

        Yet.

    • MOG2410

      So many women, so little time.

  • ttommyunger

    Hermie knows this is exactly the kind of red-meat sophomoric shit that gets his base all hard or moist. Believe it or not, he is saying these sort of things intentionally for a very politically sound reason, from a Far-Right Total Asshole point of view. My Rightard friends here in Dumfukistan are eating this up with a spoon and a smile.

    • V572625694

      Today we are all Dumbfuckistanis, but tip our hats to South Carolina.

      • ttommyunger

        S.C., what a beautiful State… What a benighted, mouth-breathing populace.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

      I am still not understanding the psychology of rednecks on this. It's ok for a "nigger" to harass "decent white women" if he hates the other "nigger"? How does this make any sense?

      • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

        It's okay when the decent white woman is a San Francisco liberal. Plus with the way she rammed healthcare down our throats, it's obvious she's gotten too uppity, while Herm clearly knows how to shuck and jive for his audience.

        Why, it was not quite sixty years ago that a bunch of rednecks lynched Emmett Till for allegedly whistling at a white woman! Now a black man can stand on stage and demean a high government official on national TV. I wonder if we could get off oil forever by harnessing the power generated by every dead civil rights leader spinning in their graves. I'm a white guy in his mid-30s but I'm still pretty sure this is not what MLK had in mind.

        • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

          You are my flightless waterfowl from another egg!!

      • ttommyunger

        Chet, you lack a basic understanding of the Southern Mentality: there are “good” niggers and “bad” niggers in their mind. Herman is the former, a House Nigger; always subservient and looking out only for his Master's best interests. All others fall into the latter category.

      • ttommyunger

        As for the white women, they are considered to be nothing more than lying cunts.

    • bebecca2298

      They really live their Christian values, don't they?

      • ttommyunger

        When in Church, yes.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Oh, and here's a rundown of the bill Herman was touting, HR 3000. In case anyone was wondering, it does the following:

    — provides a measly $300 million in block grants to states for health care;
    — establishes employer groups that give "wellness incentives," which to me sounds like a monthly pamphlet encouraging exercise and eating right;
    — gives poor people a tax credit (?!) that in no way would offset premiums;
    — caps malpractice payouts (wheee for the GOP tort reform hobbyhorse);
    — gives antitrust protection to insurance companies (which they don't need, since they're already part of the problem).

    In other words, it's better than what we had before the ACA, but really doesn't do shit compared to what the ACA does. Herman's all for it because it would help insurance companies and not people. Fuck him and his shitty secondhand ideas.

    • http://www.storycorner.us/ JustPixelz

      Thank you for looking that up.

      When asked what should replace ACA, the Repubicans talk about giving Medicare "back to the states" (whatever the hell that means), doctor-patient relationship and health savings accounts.

      I don't hear them talk about two key issues:
      – refusal to insure due to pre-existing conditions
      – people who opt out, thus shifting their health costs to others via bankruptcy or just refusing to pay

      Treatment for stage zero breast cancer (surgery, radiation, etc) is, like, $50,000. And afterwards you cannot buy insurance in the market at any price. I want the all Repubicans on stage last night to trust the market with their wife's health. (I'm including Marcus in the "wife" category because, well … it's obvious.) Sit in the "crying room" and realize the difference between life and death for the love of your life is an insurance card.

      • SayItWithWookies

        Well we already know how Newt would handle his wife's cancer — repeal and replace.

    • BerkeleyBear

      I wouldn't even agree that piece of shit was better than nothing, since it would be the first step to block granting all Medicare and Medicaid funds (the current hard-on for the right), eliminate the disincentive to reckless medicine malpractice creates (and don't tell me Rand Paul would be first in line to overdo it), and would green light formalized monopolies at a time when costs are already on a monopolistic arc that seems to have no connection to market conditions. I also have a sneaky suspicion this would be linked to the ability for people to buy insurance from any company in the country the GOP kept touting – ie, allowing companies to avoid all state regulations and coverage requirements by setting up in Guam and then selling crap policies as "low cost health insurance" all over the country.

      But other than that, just an awesome plan. Sometimes I wonder how stupid Americans must be, then the GOP gets away with labeling something this craptastic as a "serious solution" and I know.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      A "healtcare" bill that does essentially nothing … except give antitrust protection to insurance companies. I can't imagine who actually wrote that bill. Oh wait … I think I can.

  • Generation[redacted]

    Calling a former Speaker of the House "Princess?" Who does he think he is, Tom Delay's cell mate?

    • jqheywood

      Excellent. I now have to get the coffee off of my monitor and keyboard…

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

      That was so good, I need to see the slo-mo instant replay!

  • http://www.storycorner.us/ JustPixelz

    He was making a point?! Was it that Pelosi was able to pass legislation somehow while Bone-Her hasn't done jackshit?

  • El Pinche

    Ha! Republislugs still can't over the fact that Nancy Pelosi, who happens to have a vagina, was one of the best House speakers in US history. John Boner is a waste of human organs.

    • V572625694

      It wouldn't matter if she were Benjamin Disraeli: ya cain't have a woman in charge of men. Jus ain't right.

      • Generation[redacted]

        Don't you worry your pretty little head about jerbs, missy, we menfolk are gonna spend this session of Congress debating the God is Awesome resolution.

        • BerkeleyBear

          And the All Hail Baby Jesus amendment. Jus' baby Jesus, mind you, because the older one was a long haired hippy who didn't bathe regular.

    • ThundercatHo

      If he will donate his organs now I'll buy the jellyfish.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      "a waste of human organs"

      Granted, the guy's a bit old to start riding a motorcycle, but I bet he'd insist of his freedumb to go without a helmet … so there's still hope.

  • iburl

    If you don't have a job it's your own fault (for not putting out).

  • UnholyMoses

    Needs moar Mike Tyson.

    Because Pizza Pthursday would be awesome!

    • SorosBot

      I don't know, there's something about a serial sexual harasser being played by an actual rapist that's a bit unsettling.

      • UnholyMoses

        Yeah, I thought about that as well.

        Though I'm not sure whether or not that was purposeful on the part of FoD. Knowing them as I do (but only on an Internet basis –THERE WAS NO TOUCHING, I SWEAR!), it just might be.

    • WhatTheHeck

      Cain as pizza delivery boy: “I deliver in 30 minutes or less, or the pie is free.”

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

      He doesn't sound or act like Herman Cain, the material is not a particularly insightful satire of the man, and Tyson is a rapist. Total win, FOD!

  • CapnFatback

    To be fair, when you're an ogre, anyone on the opposite side of you must appear to be a princess.

  • friendlyskies

    There is nothing you can even call Herman Cain that isn't an insult to the other party. I can't say he's a crusty old herpes sore with chronic halitosis without unfairly defaming crusty old herpes sores with chronic halitosis. Hmph.

  • An_Outhouse

    Princess SMASH!!!!

  • Callyson

    “that was a statement that I probably should not have made, but I was trying to make a point.”
    Actually, it's your point that keeps getting you in trouble with the womenfolk…

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

    What a wonderful country this is! In the '50s and before, it was well established that white women were above Negro men in the written rules of social status, a humiliation leading to a lot of misguided behavior (as well as revenge literature by the likes of Amiri Baraka).

    Now, the soaring popularity of Herman Cain demonstrates that our Olde Antagonists, the shit-kicking, red-faced nigger-haters, will throw in with obsequious black males over uppity liberal white broads when push comes to shove. This is what passes for progress in red states! You are right, old black people tired of northern winters — I'm selling all my Chicago shit and moving to Georgia for the Great Regression!

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Congratulations on your new-found status!

  • mattbenzing

    Really disgusted by this, too disgusted to even make a joke. My ignorant teabagger sister just read me the riot act for posting this on Facebook, because its all an Obama plot. She's been a bitter racist her whole life (it's how we were raised) but now she thinks shes a progressive because she likes Cain's minstrel act. Please God, if you're there, let this clown be the Republican nominee.

  • mavenmaven

    Hey, he's a source now of 24 hour comedy: http://www.caintruth.com/

  • DahBoner

    Princess?

    I didn't know Nancy Pelosi was Jewish

  • fuflans

    well, to be fair, when WAS the last time nancy made a shitty pizza, hmmmm?

  • Guppy

    I would have reached for "ice queen" personally, but I suppose that's why Cain has handlers, amirite?

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

    Emmett Till is all "you gotta be fuckin' kiddin' me!!" in his grave.

    Too soon?

  • lulzmonger

    … & then he flounced away from yet another scrum, waving his magic 9-9-9 Wand!

  • chascates

    CNN has posted Cain's 'sort-of' apology:
    "I apologize for calling her 'Princess Pelosi,' if that's the biggest story you all have, OK?" Cain told reporters after addressing supporters at a diner in Ypsilanti, Michigan.
    "That was a statement that I probably shouldn't have made, but I was trying to make a point," he said on CNBC.

    Just like shoving a women's face into his crotch is making a point about how to get a job.