OF COURSE  10:59 am November 9, 2011

Big Election Wins For Libs Obama Had Nothing To Do With Still About Obama

by Kirsten Boyd Johnson

ARGH OBESE NUTTERS HARD ON STOMACH LININGOMG CRAZED LIBTARD GODZILLA ATE WINGNUTS FOR LUNCH (and then had horrible indigestion). Scenes from the massacre yesterday: Kochsucker thug John Kasich’s Ohio union-busting law was demolished; in Mississippi, the criminally insane anti-abortion “personhood” amendment was shredded, a new GOP-sponsored Maine law banning Election Day registration went up in flames, Republicans got hammered in Kentucky, and even in crazy old teatard Arizona it was the Arizona equivalent of ten thousand free state-sponsored abortions because “God hates browns” law-sponsor nutter state Senator Russell Pearce got a big recall face punch. What fun! Although really, GODZILLA is just thousands upon thousands of ordinary angry voters who are sick of insane conservative lawmakers. But this story cannot possibly really be about them, can it?

Absolutely NONE of this had anything to do with Barack Obama, who supported none of these votes, recalls, referendums, NONE. He has been hiding on a golf course somewhere plotting new wars and making out with John Boehner. But the esteemed denizens of the Fourth Estate cannot quite compute, so this is still somehow about the Only Election That Matters.

Here is the New York Times:

Taken together, Tuesday’s results could breathe new life into President Obama’s hopes for his re-election a year from now.

OR, for those of you who want a totally opposite meaningless read on these election results, never fear, the turdmonsters at the Washington Post have you covered, because Republicans managed to eke out some victories in Virginia:

Tuesday’s legislative elections in Virginia appeared likely to add more evidence — as if national Democrats needed it — that the terrain of the political map will be significantly more rugged for President Obama next year.

So taken together, Obama is both losing and winning, and all the rest of you, screw off! Because these “election” things were never about you anyway. [NYTimes/WaPo]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 330 comments }

Chillwaver November 9, 2011 at 11:04 am

Don't you just love it when the Wingnut "Blame Barry for everything" strategy backfires on them?

poncho_pilot November 9, 2011 at 12:24 pm

i love it when anything backfires on them. and so does Larry Craig.

Barb November 9, 2011 at 11:04 am

Gosh, makes ya wonder what they ranted about on Fox News last night if they didn't have this to coo about. They are probably scrambling around over there looking for pictures of Joe Paterno and Barack together.

SorosBot November 9, 2011 at 11:10 am

Too bad for them Paterno is a conservate Christian and good friend of George H. W. Bush who's spoken at several Republican conventions.

SexySmurf November 9, 2011 at 11:15 am

I, for one, am shocked a conservative Catholic would cover up the sexual abuse of a child.

McRibzgood November 9, 2011 at 11:39 am

As a Pitt fan I endorse SexySmurf's comment.

horsedreamer_1 November 9, 2011 at 7:32 pm

PITT fan, huh? Like to make a friendly wager on this season's Marquette-Pittsburgh game(s)?

(Seriously, the rival of a rooting interest I can least stand. Even Bears-Packers is palatable for this Cheesehead.)

Chichikovovich November 9, 2011 at 11:32 am

Well, yeah, but he also gave a bunch of money to a library. Which they even named after him. And some of the books in that library aren't even in English.

So you know that whole "Conservative Catholic Republican friend of Bush Sr." was an act.

And besides, Bush Sr. is a RINO anyway.

OneDollarJuana November 9, 2011 at 11:48 am

Bush, Sr. is a RINO? Tell that to the Nicaraguans.

Chichikovovich November 9, 2011 at 12:18 pm

Being a RINO is kind of like keeping a shutout. One black mark and you're done, even if you've been perfect before or since. Doesn't matter how many Latin American peasants met grim deaths at the hands of Bush Sr. supported mercenary thugs the CIA recruited. The guy raised taxes once after saying "read my lips: no new taxes", which makes him exactly the same as Karl Marx.

V572625694 November 9, 2011 at 11:55 am

Do you see any problem with the idea of the football coach being able to give 'his" money to the library? Just wondering.

Chet Kincaid November 9, 2011 at 12:35 pm

D-I College Football is a cruel and shallow money trench, a garish, plastic endzone where pimps and pederasts run free and poor kids fight like dogs. There's also a negative side.

paris biltong November 9, 2011 at 12:07 pm

Conservative Catholics like Latin better than English. No contradiction there. Wonder if they call signals in the vernacular at Penn State.

Chichikovovich November 9, 2011 at 12:25 pm

Good point, good point. I was too post-Vatican II in my thinking. But I bet the Paterno library also has a copy of the Koran. In Arabic.

And probably Al-Kindi's medieval text on optics too is there in Arabic. Which is bad, because obviously the only reason why a Muslim would want to make lenses is, y'know, for terrorism.

Chet Kincaid November 9, 2011 at 11:52 am

Besides the tragedy of the kids' lives being ruined, it's pathetic that it takes an awful scandal to give JoePa the hint that it's maybe time to hang it up. They'll probably bury him with a headset on, and shuttle guards to and from the seance with plays.

Chichikovovich November 9, 2011 at 12:37 pm

Also simply staggering is what I learned from the New York Times yesterday, that Spanier, the Penn State president who was part of the hushing up is " a trained family therapist who has written about children and holds a Ph.D. in sociology". Evidently he was trained in the kind of therapy that regards child molestation as harmless.

A_Z_0_9_and_ November 9, 2011 at 2:22 pm

I've had people tell me with a straight face that it's only the reaction to incest which is harmful to the child, not the incest itself.

Gosh, if only those minors knew their place.

Swampgas_Man November 9, 2011 at 7:47 pm

University President Theory concerns balancing the health of the child against 7 million in donor funds.

SilverTsunami November 9, 2011 at 11:40 am

Wait, I know this one! It was Iran's nuclear capability–and Herman Cain.

YasserArraFeck November 9, 2011 at 11:48 am

They're probably "updating" Obamar's Wiki page right now, to state that Hopey in fact went to Penn State and used to "pal around" with Jerry Sanduskey

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 9, 2011 at 1:29 pm

I caught FOX's election night round up. The kept referring to it as a "mixed night," which I take to mean Conservatism got its ass kicked.

OCcupied_Surf_Serf November 9, 2011 at 11:04 am

Apparently an Obama win is only 3/5 of a Republican win

LabRodent November 9, 2011 at 11:27 am

Article 1 section 2 paragraph 3. Being of the tinted-american species we tend to remember this kinda shit.

V572625694 November 9, 2011 at 11:57 am

Yeah yeah, and you're probably still all butt-hurt about the Tuskeegee Experiment. Sure it's one of the greatest deliberate abuses of humanity in history. But Obama's president now, so it's almost like it didn't really happen. And don't forget President-Reject Colin Powell!

UnholyMoses November 9, 2011 at 1:25 pm

Coffee —-> Monitor

Negropolis November 10, 2011 at 1:02 am

You are very deserving of your large p-ness for this one.

BaldarTFlagass November 9, 2011 at 11:04 am

Meh, we're all still corporate slaves. Or unemployed corporate slaves.

hagajim November 9, 2011 at 11:09 am

I was going to ask how I can be a corporate slave when I has no jerb?

LesBontemps November 9, 2011 at 11:13 am

You are a corporate slave-in-reserve.

Swampgas_Man November 9, 2011 at 7:50 pm

You're what keeps the corporate slaves scared and in check.

anniegetyerfun November 9, 2011 at 11:19 am

Look, if you want a jerb, you know what you have to do.

(pushes jagajim's head toward crotch)

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 9, 2011 at 1:34 pm

Sleep with the Defensive Coordinator?

Negropolis November 10, 2011 at 1:03 am

Sleep with a self-hating, race-baiting former CEO?

MaxUdargo November 9, 2011 at 11:25 am

A corporate slave aspirant?

Geminisunmars November 9, 2011 at 11:27 am

An inhaler might help.

LesBontemps November 9, 2011 at 11:36 am

Or a pulmonary lavage.

Dok-cupy Everything November 9, 2011 at 11:16 am

Hahaha! I'm a grossly overpayed county employee!

OK, I'm a temp. And my office's budget just took another hit, so come the 18th, it's back to Unemployment and substitute teaching. Whee.

Geminisunmars November 9, 2011 at 11:28 am

You'll still be overpayed. According to some.

MzNicky November 9, 2011 at 11:53 am

And socialist!! besides, sucking off the teat of my hard-earned taxpayer's money, wherever it is that you live, plus not to mention I don't earn any money anyway.

V572625694 November 9, 2011 at 12:03 pm

No kidding. Those substitute teachers have a fat life, only have to come in when they feel like it. And of course the kids all behave perfectly when the regular teacher's out.

RavenRant November 9, 2011 at 1:45 pm

If you are getting paid more than a Chinese political prisoner, being worked to death as a slave in a mine, you are overpaid.

TitsOccupado November 9, 2011 at 11:31 am

So you get Thanksgiving off, then? Hooray!

OneDollarJuana November 9, 2011 at 12:46 pm

I beg your pardon! I'm a PLLC slave.

ManchuCandidate November 9, 2011 at 11:04 am

I'm just shocked that this would happen. Looking at the astounding success teabaggers have had in creating jobs, improving the US America (and the rest of the world who is stuck in US America's universe) finances and the quality of life for the happy healthy and thin US America people…

Seriously, fuck the teabaggers* and their pointless stupid bullshit. *originally idiot teabaggers but it's redundant.

freakishlywrong November 9, 2011 at 11:16 am

For rebutting/arguing with/whilst beating a teatard;
Boehner: "I got 98% of what I wanted".

bloodandirony November 10, 2011 at 12:12 pm

Where are the jobs, Speaker Boehner?

LiveToServeYa November 9, 2011 at 11:05 am

Everything is about everything, of course. And the first rule of the Tautology Club is the first rule of the Tautology Club.

TitsOccupado November 9, 2011 at 11:34 am

Thanks for clearing that up, or de-obfuscating it, or whatever.

Chichikovovich November 9, 2011 at 11:34 am

You can say that again.

WhatTheHolyHeck November 9, 2011 at 11:53 am

Citation, man! http://xkcd.com/703/

(Unless your'e actually Randall, in which case, BIG FAN, FIRST TIME CALLER)

lulzmonger November 9, 2011 at 4:00 pm

"Things are more like they are now than they have ever been before."

horsedreamer_1 November 9, 2011 at 7:36 pm

The second rule of the Tautology Club: if this is your first time at the Tautology Club, you are at the Tautology Club.

UnholyMoses November 9, 2011 at 11:05 am

And all this time I figured these votes were good news for John McCain.

Shorter Kaplan Test Prep Daily, NYT, Politico, and FSM knows what other pubs and outlets:

Fucking logic—how does it work?*

(* Not that logic needs fucking, but the media sure does screw it over time and again, don't it?)

EDIT: I'm first? Really? The n00b got in before the regulars? I am so rushing about and buying a lottery ticket. brb

BaldarTFlagass November 9, 2011 at 11:08 am

Better buy a dozen or so.

SorosBot November 9, 2011 at 11:11 am

Nope, seventh.

UnholyMoses November 9, 2011 at 11:13 am

Okay … that's horseshit, since I was first!

**stomps feet**

I guess editing removes the post, then puts it back up … ?

Biel_ze_Bubba November 9, 2011 at 11:43 am

Nothing quite so nefarious … six people hit "Submit" while you were busy with that old-fashioned "thinking" thing.

UnholyMoses November 9, 2011 at 1:21 pm

Dude (or Dudette) — I still root for the Chiefs and Royals.

Thus, I think you're giving me waaayyyy too much credit on that whole "thinking" thing.

DaRooster November 9, 2011 at 11:48 am

It's a loooong way to go to beat Barb… Me thinks she no sleep… or blink.

undeterredbyreality November 9, 2011 at 11:59 am

Barb gets prepublication notices, I'm convinced.

UnholyMoses November 9, 2011 at 1:24 pm

Her, Chillwaver, and several others are either notified pre-posting, or just sit there and hit "refresh" over and over again. Or they just have impeccable timing.

The thing is, I don't really care about being first — I was just stunned that I might have been.

**shrugs**

It's like some of the times I thought I was going to get laid — all seemed to be going okay, only for things to turn out a tad differently …

Mumbletypeg November 9, 2011 at 11:07 am

"because Republicans managed to eke out some victories in Virginia"

No matter where you roam
If you're backward-s inclined,
You have a friend in Virginia:
where Best Intentions Go To, eh, Die

<insert sad clown-frown face>

A_Z_0_9_and_ November 9, 2011 at 2:25 pm

Oh, sick. Didn't that Lynchburg guy have inappropriate sexytimes with, uh, somebody? But he's pro-business and pro-family, so, a regular Joe Walsh.

hagajim November 9, 2011 at 11:08 am

Barry is winning and losing because he's half black and half white….the white half is winning…don't you guys know anything…sheesh!

Dok-cupy Everything November 9, 2011 at 11:17 am

Let That Be Your Last Battlefield.

Ayn Rand Paul Tard November 9, 2011 at 11:20 am

He's tearing himself apart! *sob*

MozakiBlocks November 9, 2011 at 11:25 am

Makes sense when you put it that way.

Gratuitous World November 9, 2011 at 11:08 am

Yeah, but have you heard about this Reverend Wright guy?!

Ayn Rand Paul Tard November 9, 2011 at 11:22 am

Not in the last hour. I also hear he still hasn't quit smoking, which he took an oath on bibles and said he would do. Mm hmm.

Chet Kincaid November 9, 2011 at 11:59 am

Barry is officially smoke-free.
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/11/01/us/politics/oba

Ayn Rand Paul Tard November 9, 2011 at 12:07 pm

Good for him, I'm sure it couldn't have been easy. However I'm still expecting the wingnuts to continue to bring up this tidbit as 'proof' that he can't keep a promise.

The big question now is when is Mr. K's avatar going smokeless? ;)

Chet Kincaid November 9, 2011 at 1:06 pm

Ahhh, so good! Kids, don't do this.

Chillwaver November 9, 2011 at 11:25 am

57 states, also, too.

NorthStarSpanx November 9, 2011 at 12:04 pm

And the Corpse (instead of the Corps.) Never forget!

Judith_Priest November 9, 2011 at 11:26 am

William Ayers! William Ayers!!

(they recite that the same way a Catholic priest in a bad horror movie recites an incantation in the face of the oncoming monster)

Chet Kincaid November 9, 2011 at 1:10 pm
Chichikovovich November 9, 2011 at 11:36 am

Corpsmen! With an aspirated "s"! Clearly a Kenyan.

Generation[redacted] November 9, 2011 at 11:53 am

Why won't the media report on him??

MzNicky November 9, 2011 at 12:09 pm

Don't forget the Saul Alinsky Socialist Rulebook.

Eve8Apples November 9, 2011 at 12:16 pm

I heard Sasha created his birf certificate using Adobe Photoshop and her inkjet printer.

Mahousu November 9, 2011 at 11:08 am

This was just a temporary phenomenon. All the Republican women that Herman Cain had harassed over the years were so busy consulting with their lawyers, they forgot to vote.

4TheTurnstiles November 9, 2011 at 11:08 am

You're missing the real story here, which is Obamar's WAR ON CHRISTMAS TREES.
http://mediamatters.org/blog/201111090001

Chichikovovich November 9, 2011 at 11:14 am

AHEM. If you were really a committed soldier in the war on Christmas you'd know they're called "Holiday Trees".

Dok-cupy Everything November 9, 2011 at 11:21 am

I'm just going to steal the phrase that the Tank Riot podcast guys use: Sacred Baby Festival.

Chet Kincaid November 9, 2011 at 11:26 am

You know why Jesus was born in Bethlehem? Because of the CENSUS and TAXES!!!1!!1!

SorosBot November 9, 2011 at 11:30 am

And here I thought it was because some of the old Jewish Messiah prophecies said the Messiah was supposed to be born in Bethlehem, yet Jesus was of Nazareth, so whoever wrote the gospel of Luke invented a ludicrous story of a census carried out in a way that no actual Roman census did and was incredibly stupid to make the story align with the prophecies.

Chet Kincaid November 9, 2011 at 11:37 am

All of this scholarship about the "Census of Queer-Anus" is an obvious attempt by godless humanists to undermine Biblical Inerrancy!!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Census_of_Quirinius

Chichikovovich November 9, 2011 at 11:48 am

Next you'll doubt that Joseph's lineage really traces back to Abraham, David and Solomon (Matthew 1:1–17), (Luke 3:23–38) in conformity with antecedent Old Testament passages. Or you'll suggest that the "born of a virgin" thing was invented to secure conformity with Isaiah 7:14. You sceptics just can't be convinced by anything.

not that Dewey November 9, 2011 at 1:27 pm

In America, we spell "skeptics" with a "k". This somehow discredits your entire argument, according to modern journalistic practises.

Lascauxcaveman November 9, 2011 at 1:55 pm

some of the old Jewish Messiah prophecies said the Messiah was supposed to be born in Bethlehem, yet Jesus was of Nazareth, so whoever wrote the gospel of Luke invented a ludicrous story of a census carried out in a way that no actual Roman census did and was incredibly stupid to make the story align with the prophecies.

Welp, you've just gone and discredited the Mary-on-donkey-to-Bethlehem story, which is the the very last thing left in the bible that I actually believed.

It was a nice story, subject of some of my favorite children's books. And now it's gone.

Thanks a lot, pal.

HarryButtle November 9, 2011 at 11:47 am

Gee, I can hardly wait for the nutty emails from the family dimwits that are surely piling up in my IN box as I type this.

Generation[redacted] November 9, 2011 at 11:54 am

I know. I'm still picking through my Halloween shrapnel.

Chichikovovich November 9, 2011 at 12:01 pm

The house-to-house fighting between the Halloweeners and the Jesusweeners was especially intense in our neighborhood this year as well.

DaRooster November 9, 2011 at 12:32 pm

Did anyone Egg-Blob your house?

MzNicky November 9, 2011 at 12:01 pm

What else would you expect from our mulatté Muslim antiChrist Pretendizent who hates our country and thus Jesus?

gurukalehuru November 9, 2011 at 1:08 pm

Once you go plastic, you feel fantastic.

chascates November 9, 2011 at 11:09 am

There's a GOP debate tonight in Michigan (liveblog pleez?) and they'll all claim the election actually proves how the nation is turning away from Obama and his policies.

Limeylizzie November 9, 2011 at 11:17 am

I am going out to get snacks for the Liveblog/Debate/Onanism Festival.

chascates November 9, 2011 at 11:27 am

The preferred snack for GOP debates is 'cracker jacks'.

weejee November 9, 2011 at 11:42 am

With extra nutz?

WhatTheHeck November 9, 2011 at 11:45 am

Yeah. How ever many you can fill into your cheeks.
You know. Like them there squirrels.

Limeylizzie November 9, 2011 at 12:12 pm

I was going to try and find some delicious English treats called Acid Drops.

TitsOccupado November 9, 2011 at 12:17 pm

Damn, I haven't dropped acid since the 80's.

chascates November 9, 2011 at 12:17 pm

Now I'll have to try these! http://www.aquarterof.co.uk/acid-drops-p-438.html

Although 'refreshing, mouth watering sour boiled sweet' isn't what comes to mind when I think of dropping acid.

Eve8Apples November 9, 2011 at 11:51 am

I was hoping they would discuss Herman Cain pick-up lines — maybe do a "Top 10 List" like David Letterman.

Geminisunmars November 9, 2011 at 12:21 pm

#10. Hey Baby, you looking for a job?

Eve8Apples November 9, 2011 at 12:50 pm

#9. I got your job creator right here, baby! (as Herman Cain grabs crotch)

OneDollarJuana November 9, 2011 at 12:57 pm

#8. How 'bout a taste of my Meat Lover's Pizza?

Callyson November 9, 2011 at 12:33 pm

"You want some sausage on that?"

Gainsbourg69 November 9, 2011 at 12:09 pm

They still have issue 3. The teabagger amendment which aims to block Obamacare in Ohio.

BerkeleyBear November 9, 2011 at 12:22 pm

But hilariously doesn't by its own terms actually do that. It only keeps Ohio from adopting a Massachusetts style plan, since it can't supersede Federal law. Plus it was worded in such a mealy mouthed way that I'm convinced most people had no freaking clue what they were voting on (preserving their right not to be forced to be in a healthcare system – whatever, because I want the freedom to be screwed by insurance companies constantly).

Gainsbourg69 November 9, 2011 at 1:27 pm

Exactly. This was the only thing Fox could talk about after they got their asses handed to them.

paris biltong November 9, 2011 at 11:09 am

Besides useless elections, there's also pointless law enforcement "According to a New York Times analysis, nearly all of the biggest financial companies — Goldman Sachs, Morgan Stanley, JP Morgan Chase and Bank of America among them — have settled fraud cases by promising that they would never again violate an antifraud law, only to have the S.E.C. conclude they did it again a few years later. "

Chichikovovich November 9, 2011 at 11:16 am

Well we'd better make 'em promise again!

LesBontemps November 9, 2011 at 11:19 am

Promise harder!

bureaucrap November 9, 2011 at 11:27 am

"…only to have the S.E.C. conclude they did it again a few MINUTES later. "

/Fixed.

Chichikovovich November 9, 2011 at 11:51 am

Or better:
"…only to have the S.E.C. conclude they did it again DURING THE MOMENTS WHEN THEY WERE PROMISING. "

HedonismBot November 9, 2011 at 1:25 pm

Corporations are people. As such, they are capable of doing that juvenile "crossing-the-fingers-behind-the-back" thing when they make a promise.
I propose we cut all their fingers off.

Monsieur_Grumpe November 9, 2011 at 11:10 am

OK. This time I'm being sincere.

USA! USA! USA!

nounverb911 November 9, 2011 at 11:10 am

Needs more "Godzilla vs the Teabag Monsters".

Guppy November 9, 2011 at 11:36 am

Sending in Yoshimi might be more effective.

BaldarTFlagass November 9, 2011 at 11:12 am

Is that a BMW Isetta there between Yellow Godzilla's legs or is he just glad to see me?

HarryButtle November 9, 2011 at 11:26 am

Keep fuckin' that beemer.

WhatTheHeck November 9, 2011 at 11:49 am

Just remember to enter through the front door.

TitsOccupado November 9, 2011 at 11:51 am

My uncle loved obscure cars and woulda had one if he could fit into it, so he opted for a DKW instead. I thought he should've bought a Messerschmitt, myself.

proudgrampa November 9, 2011 at 11:55 am

Jeez That thing looks like a death trap. Think I'll keep my full-sized pickup, thank you.

Eve8Apples November 9, 2011 at 12:13 pm

"Isetta" is Japanese for "giant lizard poop."

Gleem_McShineys November 9, 2011 at 1:26 pm

I'd be screaming like that too, if someone parked on my scrotum.

cheetojeebus November 9, 2011 at 2:53 pm

Back in the late 70s while on a 3 day hike in the middle of the east texas thicket I came across one of these parked on the side of the trail, miles from anywhere. Just sittin there with a little tree growing right through the middle of it. I've wanted one ever since.

SorosBot November 9, 2011 at 11:13 am

Some actual good news – now just remember that the EU's idiotic forcing of austerity packages on Greece and Italy instead of stimulating the economy will probably send Europe into a second recession that we're likely to get sucked into.

paris biltong November 9, 2011 at 11:30 am

"Think you got a problem? I've got to talk to Europeans every day."

NorthStarSpanx November 9, 2011 at 12:07 pm

I've lost any and all interest in Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu the moment he broke bread with Sarah Palin, who wants to Occupy the West Bank only to hasten the End Times, not because she loves Jews.

horsedreamer_1 November 9, 2011 at 7:42 pm

You know who else dined with Jews in order to hasten their demise?

OneDollarJuana November 9, 2011 at 1:00 pm

On the other hand, we here in Washington just privatized liquor sales. Now I'll be able to get Pendleton at Costco!

Lascauxcaveman November 9, 2011 at 2:13 pm

I'm gonna miss my neighborhood state liquor store. It's right next to the Papa Murphy's take-and-bake pizza place, so it was one-stop shopping for my dinner and G'nTs.

The local Safeway store has just taken out of big chunk of its pharmacy section in a remodeling job. I think I know what sort of drugs they'll be selling there next.

SorosBot November 9, 2011 at 2:17 pm

I think that makes us here in Pennsylvania the only state left with socialized liquor sales.

johnnyzhivago November 9, 2011 at 2:38 pm

At least that asteroid missed us! We've got that going for us!!!

OneDollarJuana November 9, 2011 at 2:45 pm

Well, as of 2005, maybe not. I know we had to buy everclear in a state-run store in Portland.

freakishlywrong November 9, 2011 at 11:13 am

We libunatics did something right? And what the fuck is going on in Virginia? Oh, and WaPo? Fuck you.

Mumbletypeg November 9, 2011 at 11:21 am

Depends whom you ask.
Our own Governor Goodhair — nested atop his head curiously resembling the Donald's — got his 2 cents worth in that the GOP state senate victories (nudging our previous Dem' majority into a still-contested even draw between parties represented) on our local level undercuts the public's confidence in Obama as a leader. Blah blah guilt'ed-by-association/ jilted-by-his-own-party blahcakes.

Dok-cupy Everything November 9, 2011 at 11:13 am

Cool! That's an Isetta!

BaldarTFlagass November 9, 2011 at 11:24 am

First!

Not_So_Much November 9, 2011 at 11:15 am

Koch-blocked.

Schmannnity November 9, 2011 at 11:16 am

What? No phony issues to energize the base or disenfranchise the already disenfranchised? If the electorate starts focusing on real issues, we may be entering The Year of Living Dangerously. Beware, modern-day Sukarnos.

Chichikovovich November 9, 2011 at 11:53 am

"Sukarno, feed your people!"

– Billy Kwan

MzNicky November 9, 2011 at 12:16 pm

As long as we get the hot studly Mel Gibson, like he was back then, rather than ghastly insane Mel Gibson, like he is now.

Schmannnity November 9, 2011 at 12:20 pm

I would like to request the then 33 year old Sigourney Weaver.

Lascauxcaveman November 9, 2011 at 2:16 pm

And Linda Hunt? Not so much.

(OMG THERE I GO BEING SEXXIST AGAIN!!!)

horsedreamer_1 November 9, 2011 at 7:43 pm

Still hot today.

jaytingle November 9, 2011 at 11:17 am

Was there ever any doubt that this election (and there were thousands of them yesterday) would be a referendum on whatever Politico is obsessing over at the moment?

Mahousu November 9, 2011 at 11:17 am

Slightly OT, but in reference to the picture, it should be pointed out that Godzilla is not a mammal, and so probably doesn't have nipples.

jaytingle November 9, 2011 at 11:19 am

Those aren't nipples. They're nipple clamps.

BaldarTFlagass November 9, 2011 at 11:29 am

Well, if you wanna get all technical, Godzilla was in black & white not yellow, he would not have been held in place by mere ropes, and he would have stomped that Isetta fucking flat.

Generation[redacted] November 9, 2011 at 11:59 am

Not while he's enjoying the nipple clamps.

OneDollarJuana November 9, 2011 at 1:01 pm

If you want to be extra-technical, his name is Gojira.

BaldarTFlagass November 9, 2011 at 1:40 pm

Well, it sure ain't Raymond Burr.

Lascauxcaveman November 9, 2011 at 2:18 pm

If you want to be extra-technical, his name is Gojira.

That's correct. Godzilla is an outfielder for the Oakland A's.

Naked_Bunny November 9, 2011 at 2:22 pm

Are nipples ever truly off-topic?

ifthethunderdontgetya November 9, 2011 at 11:17 am

Yay, us!

Suck it Kasich, you Koch-whore!!!
~

Ducksworthy November 9, 2011 at 11:24 am

Kasich is also a Lehman brother by another mother, too.

Chet Kincaid November 9, 2011 at 11:17 am

You are the people you've been waiting for, dimwits!

Limeylizzie November 9, 2011 at 11:18 am

I am actually happy today.

BaldarTFlagass November 9, 2011 at 11:26 am

Like I said earlier, it probably won't take Ken too long to come in and take a bloody diarrhea shit all over our happy-parade.

lowaltflier November 9, 2011 at 11:35 am

Yea! But it was good while it lasted.

weejee November 9, 2011 at 11:48 am

Something a bit Kafkaesque?

Limeylizzie November 9, 2011 at 12:17 pm

Can someone let him grab their genitals and push his head into his crotch, the menz love that.

TitsOccupado November 9, 2011 at 11:53 am

Ken will fix that for ya soon.

Limeylizzie November 9, 2011 at 12:08 pm

True.

RavenRant November 9, 2011 at 1:28 pm

Relish it while it lasts. And don't be too hard on Ken. Happiness doesn't produce snark, only outrage with a light glaze of despair can produce snark.

And Wonkette without snark is like…?

Limeylizzie November 9, 2011 at 1:33 pm

Herman Cain with no ego?

lulzmonger November 9, 2011 at 4:09 pm

… Sarah Palin having to work for a living?

LesBontemps November 9, 2011 at 11:21 am

Meh, this only shows that there's actually a limit to how much stupidity even U.S. Amerkins will put up with.

paris biltong November 9, 2011 at 11:34 am

For a while.

Biel_ze_Bubba November 9, 2011 at 11:47 am

That, in itself, is welcome news. I was starting to wonder.

pdiddycornchips November 9, 2011 at 1:18 pm

Never underestimate the stupidity of the our fellow Americans. I'm sure the wingnuts will recalibrate. If the KochWhore in Ohio would have exempted police and firefighters from his union busting bill like they did in Wisconsin, it likely would have passed. There's a large part of our electorate who sit in their trailer parks and listen to talk radio all day long. They will continue to vote as if their interests are exactly the same as a billionaire hedge fund manager. For the GOP, tax cuts are all that matters. Billionaires pay 15% capital gains taxes on their hundreds of millions in income. That, plus the Bush tax cuts explains why the government is starved for revenue. In a world not ruled by the criminally insane, we'd move the capital gains tax to 23% and allow the Bush tax cuts to expire on the rich. Sadly, those doofuses in their trailers listening to AM radio are the GOP's army of morons and they will protect the tax cutting mothership at all costs.

Limeylizzie November 9, 2011 at 11:21 am

Some excellent comments from the sad-faced fucking Republicans in Kentucky…

i_am_the_doctor
9:36 PM on November 8, 2011
The filthy murderers & child molesters on death row must be elated. They know they will never have their death sentence carried out under the far left liberal NAMBLA supporting Democrats.

BaldarTFlagass November 9, 2011 at 11:30 am

Damn, I don't think he missed a single cliche. I bet that's a Wonketeer in disguise.

TitsOccupado November 9, 2011 at 12:22 pm

Obvs. Nothing misspelled, no random caps…

freakishlywrong November 9, 2011 at 11:31 am

Holy shitballs, fatman! These fuckers are starkers.

MozakiBlocks November 9, 2011 at 11:31 am

Having been born and grown up in the Bluegrass state, trust me when I tell you that KY Democrats will never be mistaken for far left liberals.

Gainsbourg69 November 9, 2011 at 1:34 pm

Did Conway win attorney general because he's pretty and that P'pool idiot is ugly as shit?

hagajim November 9, 2011 at 11:54 am

Lizzie – is that "sad-faced fucking Republicans" or sad, facefucking Republicans….I don't want to exclude Lindsey.

NorthStarSpanx November 9, 2011 at 12:13 pm

Horrified by other news toppers, but as a far left liberal, why then am I coaching my six year old son not to ever let an older male reveal his pee-pee to him, much less put it on, around or in him?

Where does Herb weigh in on sexual predators? Never happens?

SorosBot November 9, 2011 at 12:27 pm

It's very simple; child molesters are bad, therefore they must be liberal; it's the same kind of thinking that turns the far-right fascists into really being liberal.

imissopus November 9, 2011 at 1:24 pm

Please let Jerry Sandusky be a registered Republican, please let Jerry Sandusky be a registered Republican….

SorosBot November 9, 2011 at 2:15 pm

The fact that he's involved with football makes that very, very likely.

Ducksworthy November 9, 2011 at 11:22 am

I continue to be fascinated by the fact that the turdmonsters at the pathetic WaPo believe that what happens in the cradle of the confederacy means anything.

SorosBot November 9, 2011 at 11:33 am

The Post always has to find a way to spin everything as good for Republicans.

OneDollarJuana November 9, 2011 at 11:52 am

Actually, what happens in the cradle of the Confederacy does matter. We have been ruled by Southern Confederate politics, ideals, and mores for several decades now, and look where it's gotten us.

Monsieur_Grumpe November 9, 2011 at 11:23 am

Whatever hybrid comes from that unholy act in the above picture… I want one.

WhatTheHeck November 9, 2011 at 11:53 am

You want monster Truck nutz?

Chet Kincaid November 9, 2011 at 1:17 pm

Godzilla and Transformers fusing into one awful franchise?! Actually, Godzilla vs. Transformers would make a shit-ton of money as a video game.

anniegetyerfun November 9, 2011 at 11:23 am

Those are some hardcore nipple clamps on Godzirra there.

McRibzgood November 9, 2011 at 11:25 am

I find this news easy to masterbate to.

edgydrifter November 9, 2011 at 11:26 am

The Kochtard overlords had to allow a few liberal (read: sane) wins yesterday so that they'd have some "sOciulizms and creeping SHARIA" meat to throw into the pit at next year's Real Mericans Taking Our Cuntry Back rallies.

slithytoves November 9, 2011 at 11:27 am

Look – I woke up to pretty good news today and I'm kinda happy, so nobody fucking spoil it! I'm looking at you Joe Paterno.

proudgrampa November 9, 2011 at 11:46 am

What a mess, huh? WHY didn't he report what he knew to the police???

Jeez.

slithytoves November 9, 2011 at 11:54 am

"I did what was legally required" is the new meme for American exceptionalism.

DaRooster November 9, 2011 at 12:14 pm

Really no better than, "I don't recall…"

ifthethunderdontgetya November 9, 2011 at 11:30 am

By the way there is another GOP clown car festival tonight.

All eight clowns will be onstage at Oakland University, which is 10 miles northwest of Troy, Michigan.

I hope they are asked how much they hate the G.M. and Chrysler rescues. (And of course, how much they all hate the victims of sexual harassment.)
~

Chet Kincaid November 9, 2011 at 11:33 am

Negropolis, you know what you have to do! Dustbowlblues will overnight you the pies.

DaRooster November 9, 2011 at 11:44 am

They are far from "Good Pie" worthy… now Cow Pies…

TitsOccupado November 9, 2011 at 11:57 am

Occu-Pie Oakland?

Chet Kincaid November 9, 2011 at 1:15 pm

Oops, it's tonight! Grop's gonna have to locally-source those pies.

meatlofer November 9, 2011 at 11:30 am

Those Koch boys know how to make syphillis from scratch!

Blueb4sunrise November 9, 2011 at 11:32 am

To celebrate the day, I give you all this linky present:

Hobo With a Shotgun
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1640459/

proudgrampa November 9, 2011 at 11:41 am

Swear to God, that's my favorite Rutger Hauer movie.

Blueb4sunrise November 9, 2011 at 11:45 am

I just heard of it. Give us a review.

proudgrampa November 9, 2011 at 12:23 pm

Hobo with a Shotgun was based on a movie trailer created for a contest. Hauer plays the Hobo who gets harassed when arriving in a town run by crooks. He gets a shotgun and starts blowing bad people away. But the best killing happens when his friend the prostitute gets her hand cut off by a lawnmower and she kills the town boss by stabbing him with her stump. Really.

I give it five martinis!

Blueb4sunrise November 9, 2011 at 12:38 pm

Probably a remake of a Kurosawa flic.

BigDumbRedDog November 9, 2011 at 12:58 pm

Netflix has it to stream. They keep suggesting it to me which tells you a lot about my taste in movies.

proudgrampa November 9, 2011 at 1:06 pm

I'm right there with you, BigRed. Netflix is always offering me weird shit I would never know about otherwise.

An_Outhouse November 9, 2011 at 1:16 pm

I'm adding it to my queue.

paris biltong November 9, 2011 at 11:45 am

If you're a Pasha Ebrahimi fan, you'll want to check out http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1589889/

Monsieur_Grumpe November 9, 2011 at 11:52 am

I love the arts.

TitsOccupado November 9, 2011 at 12:25 pm

Can't wait for the Joe Bob Briggs critique.

proudgrampa November 9, 2011 at 1:45 pm
4tehlulz_lite November 9, 2011 at 11:34 am

This is Great news! For Joe Paterno!

SayItWithWookies November 9, 2011 at 11:35 am

I can't wait for the first conservative to say that the reason the crazy shit in Ohio and Mississippi and Maine and Arizona went the liberal way is that the proposals/recallees/laws that were repudiated just weren't crazy enough. And Kasich sounded mildly conciliatory last night? Fuckin' RINO.

hagajim November 9, 2011 at 11:56 am

Mildly conciliatory….lets put it this way. Kasich is backpedealing so fucking fast he's gonna take a spill on his unicycle. He's being conciliatory because he knows that if he doesn't he'll be a one term governor and then have to work for Faux. What he says means nothing…he was gonna be the jerbs governor and then went after the unions.

TitsOccupado November 9, 2011 at 12:00 pm

He should really call Ahnuld to learn how to do that more effectively.

Chillwaver November 9, 2011 at 11:35 am

This, combined with the millions of dollars wasted on the Cain Date-Rape Train, is bad news for the Kochs…

HarryButtle November 9, 2011 at 11:35 am

Phoenix also elected a Democrat in the mayoral race, so a ray of hope shines in AZ. To be honest, Russell Pearce's replacement Jerry Lewis (no, not that one) is quite the conservatard in his own right. But he's a step closer to sanity than Russell Pearce will ever be.

What's that catchy phrase all you kids are using these days? Suck it, Pearce.

MzNicky November 9, 2011 at 12:28 pm

Knoxville, TN, home of the Vols and other stuff, also elected a Democrat — of the female persuasion, no less! with one a them funny-sounding names! — as mayor last night. (Our former mayor skipped off to become governor. You may remember him from such recent events as rushing through an overnight "curfew" in order to arrest dozens of OccupyNashville participants.)

Ol' white boy network had us in its iron fist for decades, but no more! Usual attempted demonization of Madeline Rogero ("socialist!" "taxraiser!" "union organizer!") FAILED. Baby steps here, kids, but steps nonetheless.

Geminisunmars November 9, 2011 at 12:35 pm

Congratulations! Good work. But we've got to keep the momentum going if we are going to win 2012. (sorry for the snarklessness.)

Tundra Grifter November 9, 2011 at 11:36 am

"Republicans got hammered in Kentucky…"

How did the election turn out?

Biel_ze_Bubba November 9, 2011 at 1:04 pm

Win or lose, they'd all go out and get hammered.

Lucidamente1 November 9, 2011 at 11:37 am

"Hiding on a golf course somewhere plotting new wars and making out with John Boehner": needs moar poutrage.

Guppy November 9, 2011 at 11:37 am

Meanwhile, in Florida, we want to make it harder to combat wage theft:
http://floridaindependent.com/56056/david-simmonshttp://floridaindependent.com/56216/tom-goodson-d

Geminisunmars November 9, 2011 at 12:27 pm

Well, any employee who has been stiffed on their wages can just hire a lawyer. It's the murikan way.

Guppy November 9, 2011 at 1:13 pm

That's the real kicker: Republicans working hard to keep trial lawyers employed.

proudgrampa November 9, 2011 at 11:39 am

Virginia? Enough said. General Grant didn't do enough to destroy the fucking place.

BarackMyWorld November 9, 2011 at 11:42 am

Yellow Godzilla anal-rapes your compact car with his ginormous tail-cock.

imissopus November 9, 2011 at 1:28 pm

I roll a +20 and block his tail-cock with my invisible anti-anal rape force field.

DaRooster November 9, 2011 at 11:42 am

Barry:"SUCK THAT GOP!!"

Come here a minute November 9, 2011 at 11:45 am

Such a big win after the huge number of trips President Obama didn't make to Mississippi, Ohio, and Maine.

shrillharpy November 9, 2011 at 11:46 am

Can we "recall face punch" McConnell, too? Please, oh please, oh please!

OneDollarJuana November 9, 2011 at 11:47 am

I just wanna know why Godzilla has ropes tied to his nipples.

hagajim November 9, 2011 at 11:58 am

Godzilla is into BDSM?

poncho_pilot November 9, 2011 at 12:50 pm

why not?

x111e7thst November 9, 2011 at 11:47 am

Maybe now that the people have shown the way Obama will get out front and say "follow me". It's a risky strategy but it might just work.

TitsOccupado November 9, 2011 at 12:11 pm

One truth remains constant: If Obama is for anything, the wingtards will vote against it. He made the right decision to stay out of the way.

pdiddycornchips November 9, 2011 at 1:25 pm

Well, I'm sure he'll do his part to maintain corporate welfare and low taxes for billionaires while shredding the social safety net.

HedonismBot November 9, 2011 at 11:47 am

Hooray! For the first time in three years, there's finally a reason to be happy about election results!
But this time it has to be different. This election was a victory for <del>Liberals</del> any voter who is not a blood relative of Satan/the Kock brothers, and we the REAL people finally have the wind at our backs again. But we can't just retire now and leave it up to Obama and the Spinelesscrats to do our work for us. If the past three years have proven anything, it is that they won't.
Obama was right about one thing: we are the change we seek. We have to keep up the good work, with or without the government on our side.

SorosBot November 9, 2011 at 11:48 am

But liberals sitting on their laurels from 2008 worked so well in 2010!

ifthethunderdontgetya November 9, 2011 at 12:27 pm

That's a huge load of bullshit, Sorosbot.

Corporate Dems said thanks very mush, Democratic base, for the votes in 2008.

And then they got back to their regularly scheduled business of joining with their Republican friends and fucking us over 8 ways to hell.

That is what led to 2010.

And yet there's no sign the corporate whores have changed their ways.

This is why OWS and other people-powered initiatives are the only hope we have.
~

SorosBot November 9, 2011 at 12:40 pm

Maybe the Dems should have done something like pass a stimulus that prevented the recession from becoming a depression, or reform our health care system, or end discrimination against gay people in the military.

ifthethunderdontgetya November 9, 2011 at 2:05 pm

…or end discrimination against gay people in the military.

DADT was repealed after the 2010 elections. Obama could have got rid of it himself much sooner, if he had wanted to.

…reform our health care system.

Right. ACA, based on the Heritage Foundation's health care reform plan from the 90s. The ACA was one of the major reasons for the 2010 debacle: Obama and Rahm wanted an insurance industry friendly act, and they thought they'd cover up this fact by demanding a bipartisan vote. They got screwed by the Republicans, and screwed the rest of us with a crappy bill.

… a stimulus that prevented the recession from becoming a depression.

It might have helped more in the 2010 campaign department if the Administration hadn't guaranteed that unemployment would never exceed 8% if ARRA was enacted. It certainly would have helped more if they didn't sit on their hands once this was clearly not the case and continue insisting that nothing more was needed on the jobs creation front.

Instead of jumping up and down and waving your DNC pompoms, I suggest you cheerleaders try reading a couple links:

Here's Jay Ackroyd.

The president, and the Democrat's Senate leadership, reject movement liberalism…It’s not about Obama per se. It’s about a political philosophy, an ideology that rejects core Democratic values about the government’s role in protecting the citizenry from powerful private interests.

And here's Bill Black.

Holder’s most disingenuous and dangerous sentence, however, was this one:

Our efforts to fight economic crime are a vital component of our broader strategy, a strategy that seeks to foster confidence in our financial system, integrity in our markets, and prosperity for the American people.

Obama and Holder have done, and will do, nor more about Wall Street's crimes than they did about the previous Administration's.
~

Chet Kincaid November 9, 2011 at 12:42 pm

Why don't some of these OWS people run for Congress? Or is Elizabeth Warren the only Santa Claus we need to cure all of our problems?

poncho_pilot November 9, 2011 at 12:52 pm

there is a certain dog who is head of Occupy Denver. i'd vote for Shelby. better than someone like Lieberman, anyway.

paris biltong November 9, 2011 at 11:53 am

See how hard it is to cross out the L word? Scarlet letter, wear it with pride.

HedonismBot November 9, 2011 at 12:15 pm

Conservatives routinely use the word "liberal" as an epithet and an insult. This tactic has worked so well that liberals won't even use the word to describe themselves.
It's like any other stereotype. If you slap a label on someone, you don't have to know anything about them as an individual. But "liberal" victories benefit the majority of the population – middle class moms and dads, blue-collar workers and other regular people who can hardly be classified amongst the eggheads, homos, hippies, and Volvo drivers that come to mind when the word "liberal" is used.
That's why I thought it better to use the term "voters who are not blood relatives of Satan/the Kock brothers."
It doesn't work the other way around, does it? Maybe I'm naive, but I'm still willing to believe "conservatism" has some redeeming qualities (in theory, if not in actual, modern American practice,) so I try not to use the word "conservative" as a slur.
Being a liberal makes my head hurt. It must be nice being a right-winger – with everything being so cut-and-dry and black and white all the time.

Geminisunmars November 9, 2011 at 12:37 pm

Whatever happened to that wonderful slur of yesteryear "reactionary"?

HedonismBot November 9, 2011 at 12:48 pm

The real "reactionaries" are those for whom all taxes are bad taxes, all poor people are lazy, and all attempts to make things more fair are "class warfare."
Republicans are so blinded by ideology – so brainwashed by the cult of Ayn Rand and so devoted to "drowning government in a bathtub" – that they refuse to consider the real world on its own terms. That, to me, makes them the real "reactionaries."

TitsOccupado November 9, 2011 at 1:19 pm

Supplanted by "activist", as in activist judges, which magically doesn't apply to their activist judges, only those on the left.

HedonismBot November 9, 2011 at 12:16 pm

By the way, how does one accomplish the "strike through" in HTML?

Chet Kincaid November 9, 2011 at 12:09 pm

"…with or without the government on our side."

No. The correct answer is, "let's get back control of Congress." Unless you like sitting under a tarp in the middle of February, yelling at elected officials who do not give a good goddamn what you think.

HedonismBot November 9, 2011 at 12:26 pm

Even when Democrats ran Congress, "liberals" controlled nothing. Yes, we need to take back control of Congress for the good guys, but putting our faith in them alone is bound to end in heartache.

Chet Kincaid November 9, 2011 at 12:51 pm

Sigh. Why couldn't an OWS insurgency work WITHIN the Democrat Party? Hasn't the success of the Tea Party, phony though it may be, shown us that third party fantasies and activism in the rain with no access to power are NOT the way to go?

RavenRant November 9, 2011 at 12:53 pm

More democrats, yes. BETTER democrats? Essential.

Pushing the party left will take more than one election cycle, but it has to be done. Our current democrats are far to the right of Republicans in 1956.

I won't link to it, because it's easy to google, but the 1956 Republican platform is an eye opener – pro-union, pro-civil rights, pro-equal rights for women. And Ike would be called a marxist by the current crowd of Repugs, and a wild-eyed, far left liberal by most of our so-called Dems.

Radio99% November 9, 2011 at 1:11 pm

So true Raven, so true.

HedonismBot November 9, 2011 at 1:29 pm

If they really looked at his record, Ronnie Raygun would be considered a liberal apostate by the current crop of teabaggers. And he practically founded the damn cult.

Eve8Apples November 9, 2011 at 11:48 am

Mississippi's defeat of the "personhood" amendment was the best thing to come out of that State since Oprah.

Terry November 9, 2011 at 11:49 am

The wingnuts bait and switch is catching up to them. During their various campaigns, they repeated catchy slogans and catch phrases but offered few details. When the details came out, the wingnuts support fell away.

We took a series of steps yesterday away from the tea bagger view of America.

Hallelujah. Halle-frickin-lujah.

LesBontemps November 9, 2011 at 11:50 am

Hmm, lemme see here …

Last night's election results dealt a blow to the presidential aspirations of New Jersey Governor Chris Christie, whose party lost a seat in the State Assembly as voters statewide rebuffed a well-funded GOP campaign.

Hey, I can be a pundit, too!

smitallica November 9, 2011 at 11:59 am

GOP sputters claims of massive, ACORN-instigated voter fraud in 3…2…1…

El Pinche November 9, 2011 at 12:01 pm

Sign o things to come , fuckaz. Wait until Obama wins 2012, the bagger true colors will shine when their uncontrollable racist rage explodes. They'll drop the "kenyan muslin" and be calling him a "nigger" after next November.

VaWyo November 9, 2011 at 12:03 pm

The tea party is going to look at the results and conclude that there was massive voter fraud in all those states. That can be the only logical conclusion (not that logic has anything to do with their thought process). No matter what happens, they will never get the message.

iburl November 9, 2011 at 12:06 pm

"Elections" are to the USA what "Father's Day" is to Hallmark.
A made up event designed to make lots of money.

DerrickWildcat November 9, 2011 at 12:10 pm

Looks like a mandate to me.

DaRooster November 9, 2011 at 12:10 pm

GOP: "We better get them voting machines fixed!"

freakishlywrong November 9, 2011 at 12:12 pm

Oh, they are, Roost, they just didn't use them because they're already programmed to "Romney".

DaRooster November 9, 2011 at 12:18 pm

Thought maybe they still read- "BUSH".

Chet Kincaid November 9, 2011 at 12:20 pm

Hey KBJ, We beat up on Republicans every fucking day for not being focused on "jerbs!!", don't we? Obama has been out for the last several months campaigning for his jobs program and making it absolutely clear who is to blame for its demise. This may encourage our deep-thinking electorate to put two and two together and consider who they need to vote for BESIDES the President.

Steverino247 November 9, 2011 at 12:21 pm

OK. I got it figured out now.

The Republicans keep telling us they want to reduce the size of government, right? Well, we've been getting it all wrong! As the Mississippi measure shows, they really want to shrink government down to a size so small it can make a "fantastic voyage" up every woman's vagina to protect any zygotes looking for a place to become a blastocyst.

Uncle Sam at your cervix!

OccupytheDashboard November 9, 2011 at 1:03 pm

Uncle Sam at your cervix! Dilated to meet 'cha!

RavenRant November 9, 2011 at 1:22 pm

Wasn't that Rocky Rococo?

Steverino247 November 9, 2011 at 1:48 pm

Yes, it was Uterine Agent Rococo. He was there to inspect Nancy.

DaRooster November 9, 2011 at 12:41 pm

Godzirra… Erections!! YEA!

Callyson November 9, 2011 at 12:45 pm

Absolutely NONE of this had anything to do with Barack Obama, who supported none of these votes, recalls, referendums, NONE.
Actually, I thought I remembered him saying he was against Issue 2 (the Ohio one.) Plus, no point in him spending calories on the 2011 election when next year is the big prize…

Indiepalin November 9, 2011 at 12:57 pm

Even the supporters of the Mississippi initiative were put off by the slogan used by the pro-lifers: One Fetus, One Vote

subsum November 9, 2011 at 12:59 pm

So now there are no persons in Mississippi? That's long overdue.

poorgradstudent November 9, 2011 at 1:09 pm

Snark off. Thank you Ohio for saying no to anti-labor legislation and thank you Mississippi for saying yes to basic sanity.

Of course, though, my home state would have to do something to ruin my good feelings.

DahBoner November 9, 2011 at 1:10 pm

One word:

"Bwaaaaaaaaaahahahahahaaaaaaaaahahahahahaaaaaaahahaaaaaaa!"

An_Outhouse November 9, 2011 at 1:14 pm

My bright red county is still bright red even though we ran five opponents against the thugs. Fuckin' Barry was no where to be seen. That's the thanks I get for contributing 5 bucks and risking physical injury by displaying his bumper sticker on my car!

V572625694 November 9, 2011 at 1:20 pm

The author of this article was talking about it on "Morning Joe," and literally nobody, not even Mika*, would even look at him while he spoke. Scarborough finally just started yacking about the Rolling Stones, apparently because the guy is a reporter for Rolling Stone.

"Grover's got 'em terrified," says [Alan] Simpson. "I always tell Republicans, 'Hell, Grover can't kill ya. He can't burn down your house. The only thing he can do to you is defeat you in re-election – and if re-election means more to you than your country, then you shouldn't be in the legislature.'"

We're in hard times when Alan Simpson makes more sense than any other Republican.

____________________
*She's gone to the dark side anyway since finding out how much more money S'borough was getting, bitching about it, and getting a big raise. What is it the Brits say? Oh yeah: "Fuck you. I'm all right, Jack."

not that Dewey November 9, 2011 at 1:42 pm

She went to the dark side when she dropped Dunkin' Donuts as her sponsor and took up with Team Starbuck's.

Oh, and she hasn't really contributed much since her defining moment, the Paris Hilton Incident. But she used to ride in a golf cart with Amy Carter when she was 12!

V572625694 November 9, 2011 at 2:40 pm

Yesterday she was down on Sharon Bialek. Weird.

horsedreamer_1 November 9, 2011 at 7:50 pm

She went down on her?

This is good news… For fans of Rachel, Meg Mc Cabe, and tribbing.

Gainsbourg69 November 9, 2011 at 1:57 pm

If Bill Maher can make Grover look like a bumbling idiot why aren't the libunatics going after him with a bit more gusto?

RavenRant November 9, 2011 at 2:36 pm

Great article. It's good to know that it's not just Matt Taibbi, Yves Smith, and Bill Black on the case. But how to crack the media blackout. I guess it's something that he even got on "Morning Joe", even if they ignored him.

ttommyunger November 9, 2011 at 1:38 pm

No snark: unless exit polls are in full use and black box voting enjoys some safeguards it doesn't really matter how the votes fall. Electronic Voting is a despot's wet dream.

emmelemm November 9, 2011 at 1:43 pm

As Craig Ferguson says, "It's a great day for America!"

A_Z_0_9_and_ November 9, 2011 at 2:19 pm

It's good to know Demos can still win in Kenfucky (the racism is free of charge, but the holy-babble-inspired pig ignorance is $30 at the door plus your tax dollars–enjoy your stay at Bible Land!) AFTER Barack Hussein Obama became president, because some of those non-college-educated holler-occupying whites were staaaaaaaarting to have second thoughts about the Democratic party. Phew.

Maybe their children will not be quite so racist. I mean, I knew more than a few Asian kids who grew up in Kentucky (& lived) and they will have grown up with a Black president (OMG! He's just like me! Except for the Hahvahd education and the multi-million-dollar book sales and the BMI under 25).

When am I going to emerge from moderation? *pout*

slowhansolo November 9, 2011 at 3:46 pm

It wasn't because of "overreach." It's just their odious selves and criminally insane agenda.

datateday November 9, 2011 at 7:29 pm

Awesome! A yellow dinosaur! I'm going to go vote now!!!

Negropolis November 10, 2011 at 12:38 am

What? No mention last night of the the first Michigan legislator to be recalled since the early 80's, and in a bright-red district, now less?

thefrontpage November 10, 2011 at 10:00 am

Nov. 8 was indeed a great day for Democrats, liberals, progressives and intelligent Independents who vote with Democrats. Additionally, it needs to be noted that Democrats won some big mayoral races throughout the country, including in Baltimore, Yonkers and San Franciscio, as well as in many other cities; Democrats won two key county executive races in New York State; Democrats maintained control in the New Jersey state senate and in the New Jersey state assembly; and a Democrat won a key race in the Iowa state senate!!!!! Of course it was a great day for Democrats–in literally all parts of the country: New England, the Northeast, the mid-Atlantic, the South, the Midwest, the Northwest and the West. The same things will likley occur in 2012, as Democrats take control of the U.S. House, maintain their lead in the U.S. Senate, win many more governor's offices, state houses, state senates, state positiions, and mayoral posts–and handily, easily win the presidency and vice presidency of the country.

hagajim November 9, 2011 at 11:08 am

Recall kidney punch would have been good as well.

Geminisunmars November 9, 2011 at 11:32 am

Yes, he was slated for a bag of rat dicks, too.

Limeylizzie November 9, 2011 at 12:19 pm

They are lovely, very, very sour and lemony. Pear drops are similar, but bigger and weirder tasting.

Chet Kincaid November 9, 2011 at 12:24 pm

He lost me at "Voodoo Economics"!!!1!1!!1!

Chet Kincaid November 9, 2011 at 12:54 pm

Who is this Al Kindi writing about "optics"? Is he a new columnist for Politico?

OneDollarJuana November 9, 2011 at 12:55 pm

One of my favorites as a child was Horlicks tablets.

Chet Kincaid November 9, 2011 at 1:00 pm

Heh.

horsedreamer_1 November 9, 2011 at 7:40 pm

Pride of Racine. Named the high school after it.

V572625694 November 9, 2011 at 1:05 pm

What’s really amazing is that the football schools take no workmans’ comp responsibility for the kids who get injured, and even cut off their “scholar”ships if they can’t play anymore.

NotYerGaryBusey November 9, 2011 at 2:14 pm

+1 for HST homage

Chichikovovich November 9, 2011 at 1:26 pm

Al-Kindi (and Al-Hazen) were medieval Islamic terrorist groups – precursors to Al Qaeda. Their principal nefarious project consisted of keeping the works of Aristotle and Plato available in Arabic translations while pagan literature was being destroyed by the early Christian church. The long-term strategy was to get Aristotle and Plato rediscovered by the medieval church, where they could discredit Catholic theology by giving it a basis of preposterous metaphysics. And if you read St. Thomas Aquinas or any modern-day Aquinas epigones like Robbie George, you can see that Al-Kindi's plan succeeded beyond their wildest dreams.

Chet Kincaid November 9, 2011 at 1:33 pm

Your comments are like Snickers Bars – there's an undergraduate degree in every bite. Chichikovovich and Barb for Wonkette Prom King and Queen!!

Lascauxcaveman November 9, 2011 at 1:34 pm

And yet, they find no shortage of volunteers to play the game. Some kids *like* to play games. And not just Wii.

HistoriCat November 9, 2011 at 1:37 pm

It's like some of the times I thought I was going to get laid — all seemed to be going okay, only for things to turn out a tad differently …

Are you talking about a Cocktober Surprise?

V572625694 November 9, 2011 at 1:38 pm

Hey, did Washington State de-socialize its liquor stores yesterday?

V572625694 November 9, 2011 at 2:03 pm

“Listen to those happy darkies out there in the fields, singing their spirituals as they pick the cotton.”

Negropolis November 10, 2011 at 12:58 am

Kind of like how circus elephants love to act.

proudgrampa November 9, 2011 at 1:43 pm

If you want to read a REAL review, here is a good one:
http://doctorzombie.blogspot.com/2011/08/movie-re

Lascauxcaveman November 9, 2011 at 1:44 pm

I'll be there, if a throat punch is called for.

Chichikovovich November 9, 2011 at 1:48 pm

Thanks Chet, you're too kind.

But I probably should add something, for the sake of the tsunami of Breitbarters with names like "Barry Sucks" and "WrightRezko" that flooded in as visitors to my page after yesterday's Santorum comment. I'd hate to add one more bit of misinformation to heads already packed with it:

Note: Wonkette practice rarely includes visible snark tags. Some statements are not intended as factual. In particular, Al-Hazen and Al-Kindi were people, not terrorist groups. And they kept Aristotle, Plato and Euclid alive not as a terrorist plot but because they loved learning. St Thomas Aquinas' metaphysics, however, is indeed preposterous.

Barb November 9, 2011 at 2:22 pm

Thanks Chet!

Lascauxcaveman November 9, 2011 at 2:33 pm

Yes. For good or ill. There will be no Victory Gin at the old state liquor store come June.

unclejeems November 9, 2011 at 2:42 pm

HAH-ha!! More like that!

V572625694 November 9, 2011 at 2:46 pm

When I moved to California from the DC area years ago it seemed amazing that you could buy liquor in drugstores, grocery stores, etc. Now I don’t even think about it. Costco must be so happy.

Chet Kincaid November 9, 2011 at 3:10 pm

Haven't seen you around much, I hope things are ok!

Lascauxcaveman November 9, 2011 at 3:45 pm

They spent over $22 million on the campaign this time. They got what they bought.

horsedreamer_1 November 9, 2011 at 7:33 pm

You can buy beer at some gas stations in my state. Beat that.

Geminisunmars November 9, 2011 at 4:08 pm

But your typo was appropriate, methinks.

Barb November 9, 2011 at 5:49 pm

Oh honey, I'm great, thanks for asking. Lizzie and I are knitting for the OWS people and have been for a week now. I posted it somewhere else already. One week down and I've knitted seven scarves and two ski-style headbands.

V572625694 November 9, 2011 at 7:40 pm

3.2?

RavenRant November 10, 2011 at 6:41 pm

N'Awlins go-cups. Also in Florida, you can drink while driving as long as you're not drunk.

V572625694 November 11, 2011 at 9:45 am

"C'mon in this shower, son, and I'll show you how the big boys do it."

Sports build character — just look at OJ!

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