THE DEMENTIA LOBBY  7:23 pm November 8, 2011

Herman Cain Says Herman Cain Has No Idea What Herman Cain Is Saying

by Kirsten Boyd Johnson

HOORAY, here is your official summary of multiple personality disorder victim presidential candidate Herman Cain talking in third person about his evil alter-ego “Herman Cain” at a meaningless press conference set against a backdrop of four billion American flags in which Herman Cain, or maybe this other “Herman Cain,” who knows which, both denied the sexual assault/harassment allegations against one of these two Herman Cains with the statement, “these simply did not happen.” Surely repeating the same words over and over ad nauseum will lay to rest these rampant news reports that Herman Cain and “Herman Cain” are serial failures as egotistical nymphomaniac sex predators?

No, no one believes him, moving on. The New York Times has a terrible teasing blog post up informing us that the second Cain accuser, Karen Kraushaar, is ready to go public with all the vomit-inducing details of Herman Cain’s untoward actions without actually giving any details, how polite:

Ms. Kraushaar had previously allowed her lawyer to challenge Mr. Cain’s denial that he had done anything wrong while at the helm of the restaurant association in the late 1990s. But after another woman, Sharon Bialek, went public on Monday and several news organizations published Ms. Kraushaar’s name on Tuesday, she said she had decided to talk publicly — at least in a limited way.

She said she did not know whether or how she might tell more of her story but said that she had been warming “to the idea of a joint press conference where all of the women would be together with our attorneys and all of this evidence would be considered together.”

Cain also promised to take a lie detector test if there were a “good reason” to do so, which so far none of this apparently matters. He’s waiting for the unicorns and dildos part of the story to appear, then it will count. [CNN/ NYTimes]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 291 comments }

nounverb911 November 8, 2011 at 7:25 pm

On the plus side, Herman didn’t abandon his wife when she got cancer, had a car accident, or got old like the typical GOPer does. (Newt, McCain, Dole).

Herring_Burnit November 8, 2011 at 7:57 pm

That's right, we need to remember to be grateful for these things.

Geminisunmars November 8, 2011 at 8:15 pm

So you're saying that Cain was born that way (old)?

ifthethunderdontgetya November 8, 2011 at 8:52 pm

Vote Cain Toad!

Original Family Values™.
~

SayItWithWookies November 8, 2011 at 10:28 pm

Yeah, he'd rather drag her around like an old armoire he inherited from a relative and now can't get rid of than part with half his cash. Hooray for love.

AlterNewt November 8, 2011 at 7:29 pm

At least this keeps everybody off the subject of how he is not even remotely qualified.

Flat_Earther November 8, 2011 at 7:29 pm

The new 9-9-9… If a few more women come forward there could be 9 accusers, 9 attorneys and 9 denials. All the accusers and Gloria Allred – now that would be a party.

flamingpdog November 8, 2011 at 8:13 pm

9-9-9 is no longer the theme of his campaign. He has set his sights a little lower now, on 911.

NorthStarSpanx November 9, 2011 at 9:54 am

Know how Rachel Maddow pointed out Cain's over-the-top performance art begging to be called out by the MSM? E.g. quoting the lyrics from Pokemon as a sage poet?

I just found the root of his 9-9-9 plan, it wasn't from another equally unqualified bank teller in Ohio. . .it's from the other Cat in the Hat. . .

We have seen all nine planets. Now here is the trick to remember their names and remember them quick.

Say:

Mallor Valerie Emily Meetzahs just served us nine hundred ninety-nine pizzas!

The first letter of each of these words is the same as the first letter in each of the planets you name.

SorosBot November 9, 2011 at 10:06 am

Nah, as other people have pointed out the 9-9-9 tax plan comes from the default rates in SimCity – really. Anywhere there are eight planets, not nine.

NorthStarSpanx November 9, 2011 at 10:37 am

Poor Pluto. . .it hates losing races.

OCcupied_Surf_Serf November 8, 2011 at 7:30 pm

Best line from his press conference: "I will take a lie detector test if there is a good reason for me to"

I am trying this logical möbius strip next time I crawl home very late…

Herring_Burnit November 8, 2011 at 7:58 pm

Something tells me Mrs. OCcupied_Surf_Serf is much less of a lapdog than our media.

But good luck with that.

rocktonsam November 8, 2011 at 7:31 pm

I'd rather see all this energy go to ruin the political careers of Perry and Mittins, instead of this pile of hooey.

Mr Rove, your move.

Lascauxcaveman November 8, 2011 at 8:57 pm

Actually, it most likely was. Don't know who paid for it, but the whole things smells of Turdblossom. Even if the charges are most likely true.

Gainsbourg69 November 8, 2011 at 9:32 pm

Limbaugh is loyal to Rove and Cain is his guy. Plus Cain makes Mittens a lot more competitive in the south if he were his VP. Rove just got sucker punched by the Kochs.

BaldarTFlagass November 8, 2011 at 7:31 pm

This guy is a richer vein than Stuprah Palin ever was.

memzilla November 8, 2011 at 7:38 pm

Oh it's a rich vein of stupid, all right, but the question is, how deep? If only there were a way to take hydrogeologic measurements of the formation…

BaldarTFlagass November 8, 2011 at 7:56 pm

The hydraulic conductivity (aka k value) of this particular stupidity formation approaches values of 10e3 or 10e4, which allows the stupidity to flow virtually unimpeded.

—Baldar T Flagass,
Geologist, Hydrologist, Paleontologist, Seismologist, Herpetologist, and Friend of the Working Girl.

Herring_Burnit November 8, 2011 at 8:00 pm

I *knew* there was a formula, and *some* wiseass Wonketeer would know it.

emmelemm November 8, 2011 at 8:10 pm

Doesn't being a Herpetologist mean you study snakes? (I know… TROUSER SNAKES, amirite?)

BaldarTFlagass November 8, 2011 at 8:12 pm

Whoa!! It's like we're twin sons of different mothers.

Sparky_McGruff November 9, 2011 at 8:00 am

Trouser snakes and Herpes-ologists. Whew, I was worried that I was on the wrong site for a minute.

flamingpdog November 8, 2011 at 8:17 pm

And you're a pale ontologist, too? Mebbe you need to spend less time metaphysicalizing and get out in the sun more.

littlebigdaddy November 8, 2011 at 10:18 pm

I am a well-respected cunning linguist.

RavenRant November 8, 2011 at 8:22 pm

So, what's your take on the 'fracking causes earthquakes' theory? Seems like you'd know if anyone would.

snackypants November 9, 2011 at 12:57 am

I have a crush on you, BaldarTFlagass! That k value is hot!

BaldarTFlagass November 8, 2011 at 7:34 pm

So, what's the over/under on whether Ms. Kraushaar is a bottle blond with big giant titties?

Texan_Bulldog November 8, 2011 at 7:40 pm

Right-o on the blond part but not so much on the boobies–unless she got some with her settlement money.
http://gawker.com/5857628/meet-the-woman-who-got-

jdoleman November 8, 2011 at 7:44 pm

The one on the left or the right?

Chet Kincaid November 8, 2011 at 7:59 pm

Why is she standing next to Steven Tyler in that picture?

(Classic Rock day today on WONK)

flamingpdog November 8, 2011 at 8:19 pm

Why the long face?

coolhandnuke November 8, 2011 at 7:42 pm

36

memzilla November 8, 2011 at 7:44 pm

"Over and Under" is what he did to Sharon Bialek.

SorosBot November 8, 2011 at 7:44 pm

Odds are 99-9

Herring_Burnit November 8, 2011 at 8:01 pm

Actually, she's an ectomorphic, maybe even anorexic, blonde with scoliosis. Although, I guess the operative term here is "blonde."

Hermie likes those white girls.

Texan_Bulldog November 8, 2011 at 8:58 pm

Just not enough to marry one. Although Hermie's AA wife is 1000 times better looking than Clarence Thomas's blonde one.

Herring_Burnit November 8, 2011 at 9:16 pm

I know, it disgusts me. It's just another form of racism. He'll fuck them, but he'd never take them home to Mama. On the other hand, there's his loyal wife of 43 years, and what a slap in the face this is for her, finding out she's been married to a rapist and a pervert all along. Let's hope Mrs. Cain weathers this well. She doesn't deserve the shit he's bringing down on her.

Judith_Priest November 8, 2011 at 8:45 pm

She is a sweet-faced rather plain little librarian-type lady, and a staunch conservative, apparently.

Herring_Burnit November 8, 2011 at 9:18 pm

Ooops, sorry, I thought I was replying to someone/thing else.

YouBetcha November 8, 2011 at 7:35 pm

As far as performance art goes, it's not bad. Needs more penis, or something.

littlebigdaddy November 8, 2011 at 10:19 pm

What doesn't?

chascates November 8, 2011 at 7:35 pm

Might need a pretty big conference room for all of the alleged victims and their lawyers.

Redhead November 8, 2011 at 7:53 pm

Wait, are we talking about Cain or Sandusky? I got confused for a minute.

Herring_Burnit November 8, 2011 at 8:03 pm

All of th … oh, never mind.

littlebigdaddy November 8, 2011 at 10:20 pm

Just rent out a house in Annapolis for the weekend.

NorthStarSpanx November 9, 2011 at 9:57 am

He's giving a lot more credit to the democrat machine than we ever could.

jodyleek November 8, 2011 at 7:35 pm

Don't say "ad nauseum", please Kristen. I've been home barfing all day. Although, come to think of it, that is an appropriate title for all of Hermie's political campaign adverts.

DerrickWildcat November 8, 2011 at 7:58 pm

I am sorry that you are not feeling well. I hope you are better tomorrow.

jodyleek November 9, 2011 at 8:48 am

Thanks DW, that is very sweet. I hope so too.

Herring_Burnit November 8, 2011 at 8:03 pm

Geez, I'm sorry to hear that. Was it something the Sperminator did?

jodyleek November 9, 2011 at 8:50 am

I had surgery and am having some complications. But Spermy Hermie does make me rather ill, it is true.

Herring_Burnit November 9, 2011 at 12:48 pm

I'm so sorry to hear that. Been there, took the rat poison. Yeesh. Wish there was something I could do to help, but I can't think of anything. Best wishes.

And, look on the bright side! At least you don't have to wake up next to the Sperminator every morning! (Whoops, maybe it wasn't so smart to say that. Did I make you feel queasy? Sry. I sure made myself quease.)

Judith_Priest November 8, 2011 at 8:46 pm

And if you say it, please spell it correctly: "ad nauseam".

Don't feel bad. The MS Word dictionary had it in there wrong for years. But it's an "am" ending.

ShaveTheWhales November 9, 2011 at 2:21 am

Actually, "ad nauseum" sounds like it would be a good place to find historical replicas of really terrible advertisements.

Herring_Burnit November 9, 2011 at 12:49 pm

Brilliant!

privatejoker77 November 8, 2011 at 7:35 pm

It's not easy being cheesy.

gloriositudinously November 8, 2011 at 7:46 pm

'Specially if you knead the dough.

V572625694 November 8, 2011 at 8:50 pm

Herman just wanted a pizza the action.

SayItWithWookies November 8, 2011 at 10:44 pm

His denials are just like his pizzas — cheap, fast and unsatisfying.

ShaveTheWhales November 9, 2011 at 2:22 am

Smells like anchovies…

BTWBFDIMHO November 9, 2011 at 12:19 am

Cheeseus Crust!

memzilla November 8, 2011 at 7:35 pm

Discrediting all the nominee-wannabees one by one, while their Anointed One lurks on the sidelines. And keeping all the politics wonks employed meantime. Don't you think the Koch Bruddahs are having a good larf at all this?

Herring_Burnit November 8, 2011 at 8:04 pm

You think they're doing this to their own? Wow, that would be truly diabolical.

I like it. Let's work on the screenplay.

Rotundo_ November 8, 2011 at 8:09 pm

Not necessarily: Maybe it's just me, but I sense the Bush and old school ratfuckers lining up against the Kochs and the new breeds like Michele and Rick and now Herman. I think Rover and his crew have been working overtime to make sure that it is Mittens that gets the nomination, so he loses the south and in 2016 JEB will percolate back into politics just in time for people to forget Dubya. If for some reason Perry has a resurgence and then a dozen rentboys roll out of a closet, Rover will be the one opening the door. Watch and see, if you're not broke, get a bowl of popcorn and enjoy the show.

flamingpdog November 8, 2011 at 8:22 pm

That's called taking the long (Dong Silver) view.

Judith_Priest November 8, 2011 at 8:48 pm

Oh, that'd be AWESOME!! Republican Cartel War! Old Guard against the Koch-Sucking Teahadis!

V572625694 November 8, 2011 at 8:52 pm

Wow, Niccolò Machiavelli would refer to this as "Bushian."

Chichikovovich November 8, 2011 at 9:02 pm

Henry Kissinger would call it "too amoral and ruthless".

V572625694 November 8, 2011 at 9:16 pm

Something is definitely going on. It's easy enough to convince this person or that to run for president ("Your country needs you!"), but when so many marginal-to-loony candidates appear in one cycle, it's hard not to think that someone with deep pockets has a plan. You've limned it better than any other theory that's out there.

Gainsbourg69 November 8, 2011 at 9:45 pm

The closest Bushco can get to the white house is through Rubio and Christie. The problem, however, is that these two have more skeletons in their closet than Herman Cain.

Christie is a liberal conservative and his record proves it. When all that's brought to light he's no better than Romney or Perry.

Rubio is being investigated for misusing campaign funds, he lied about his parents brush with El Comandante and his sister's husband got locked up in Miami for coke.

nounverb911 November 8, 2011 at 7:36 pm

When does the first illegitimate child makes its appearance?

Herring_Burnit November 8, 2011 at 8:05 pm

I predict if there is one, divorce papers will follow shortly thereafter.

flamingpdog November 8, 2011 at 8:23 pm

And at least another two tell-all books. Oh, the trees, the trees!

Herring_Burnit November 8, 2011 at 8:31 pm

We all have to sacrifice.

Biel_ze_Bubba November 9, 2011 at 7:03 am

Not likely — his "Do you want sausage with that?" campaign seems to have been a failure.

Generation[redacted] November 9, 2011 at 10:02 am

According to the latest results from Mississippi, not at conception.

bebecca2298 November 9, 2011 at 3:47 pm

probably no love children, he required his lovers to have abortions.

GuanoFaucet November 8, 2011 at 7:36 pm

My impression from watching that press conference was that there is a very good chance that Cain has no clue what the term "sexual harassment" even means.

Swampgas_Man November 8, 2011 at 7:46 pm

Sure he does. These women are "harassing" him about his "sexual" advances. Herman is a Humpty-Dumptyist about legal terminology.

MzNicky November 8, 2011 at 7:58 pm

As I recall, he said that yes indeed he/Herman Cain DID know it when he saw it, and that in fact wimmins sexually harass the mens too! Mercifully, he ducked the part of the reporter's question that asked him to describe what such an event might be.

V572625694 November 8, 2011 at 8:54 pm

You've revealed Plan "B"!

smitallica November 8, 2011 at 10:08 pm

A good bet, considering he thought "I'm against abortion" means "It's a woman's choice."

flamingpdog November 8, 2011 at 10:48 pm

Jebus, reading that delightful little commentary twisted my eyeballs so hard, I think I don't need reading glasses anymore.

Generation[redacted] November 9, 2011 at 10:03 am

Wow. Steve Carrell has been busy since he left The Office. When is Diversity Day?

Texan_Bulldog November 8, 2011 at 7:36 pm

That Fox 'reporter' better get to bang all the interns at the Christmas party for asking the question 'does Bialek's personal financial troubles play any role into her making these accusations?' Just when I think Fox can't stoop any lower, I get jaw droppingly educated that they can! Huzzah!

YouBetcha November 8, 2011 at 7:38 pm

Let's count ourselves lucky the question asked wasn't, "Just how short was Ms. Bialek's skirt, and isn't it true that she was coming on to you and forced your hand onto the back of her head to facilitate the push into her lap, sir?"

Herring_Burnit November 8, 2011 at 8:06 pm

He's already implying that SHE came on to HIM, yaknow. What a fucking skeeze.

Redhead November 8, 2011 at 7:55 pm

No wonder Cain was confused. The female talking heads at Faux look a lot like Bialek.

Herring_Burnit November 8, 2011 at 8:07 pm

Any second now, he's gonna be shoving THEIR heads in his lap. Yeesh, I bet none of 'em want to be alone in a room with him any more.

Rotundo_ November 8, 2011 at 8:02 pm

Never underestimate the ability of any member of the right wing noise machine to sink lower in political discourse. There just ain't no bottom there in that barrel, nor in the shit it sits on.

starfanglednut November 8, 2011 at 8:06 pm

"does Bialek's personal financial troubles…"

It's DO Bialek's personal blah blah blah!

Does ANYBODY, besides wonketeers of course, even bother to learn grammar anymore? Never mind spelling. I feel I'm watching my country slide into a sinkhole of illiteracy. I had a better grasp of the english language in third fucking grade. Come on, people.

Texan_Bulldog November 8, 2011 at 8:10 pm

Up. Yours. Was that punctuated correctly for you?

i_AM_ready November 8, 2011 at 8:32 pm

My favorite part was Cain blaming the "Democratic machine," and then when a reporter asked what he meant, he said he had no evidence, he was just "inferring" that the Democrats must be behind all this.

This at a press conference where he and his lawyer denounced allegations without evidence.

V572625694 November 8, 2011 at 8:55 pm

"I don't have the facts to back this up, but…" And this after his self-serving gasbag lawyer whined at length how Hermie was "on trial" without the right to confront his accusers, discover evidence, etc.

starfanglednut November 8, 2011 at 8:42 pm

Wow.

starfanglednut November 9, 2011 at 9:16 am

Actually, I'd really like to understand your comment. If you didn't like what I wrote, fine. But why the intense, out of the blue hostility toward someone you have never met, and with whom you have ( if I remember correctly) had several perfectly pleasant exchanges? I don't come to wonkette for this kind of shit, and was upset to find it in my mailbox.

Dok-cupy Everything November 8, 2011 at 8:18 pm

Subject-verb agreement are for elitists.

Chichikovovich November 8, 2011 at 9:04 pm

"English" should be capitalized.

starfanglednut November 8, 2011 at 9:19 pm

You are correct, good sir.

Radio99% November 8, 2011 at 7:36 pm

It's not like there is a pattern or anything.

MzNicky November 8, 2011 at 8:00 pm

They're all part of the grand Democrat machine conspiracy to keep him, Herman Cain, off of Herman Cain's message for the grandchildren, which is the only reason he's in this race.

Herring_Burnit November 8, 2011 at 8:08 pm

Yeah. I figure that pattern appeared after #3's existence was revealed. And we now have another pattern. Two of the women were blondes in their mid-30s. Let's see about the others. I strongly suspect the Sperminator has a taste for blonde.

LetUsBray November 8, 2011 at 10:08 pm

Well, you know what they say: Once you go blonde, you never go beyonde. Or something.

BaldarTFlagass November 8, 2011 at 7:37 pm

"Herman Cain Says Herman Cain Has No Idea What Herman Cain Is Saying"

Well, you're never alone when you're schizophrenic.

gloriositudinously November 8, 2011 at 7:47 pm

Today we are all Ian Hunter.

Dudleydidwrong November 8, 2011 at 9:09 pm

He needs one more "Herman Cain" and he can then claim that the Holy Trinity endorses his ignorance, er, innocence, or pizzas.

emmelemm November 8, 2011 at 7:38 pm

The hubris is strong in this one.

mourningnmerica November 8, 2011 at 7:40 pm

The entitled is strong in this one.

SayItWithWookies November 8, 2011 at 10:57 pm

Extra hubris is only a buck twenty-five on the large pizza — but if you pile it on too much it starts to taste like crow.

BaldarTFlagass November 8, 2011 at 7:38 pm

"I don't even know who this woman is."

'Cause the white women all look the same when you stand them on their head"

Swampgas_Man November 8, 2011 at 7:47 pm

When their heads are in your lap.

Herring_Burnit November 8, 2011 at 8:09 pm

Well? It's all just a buncha blonde hair at that point, ain't it? And then when they manage to make their way outa your lap, you're only ever looking at their pussy anyway, and unless the carpet DOESN'T match the drapes …

DahBoner November 8, 2011 at 10:40 pm

In Thailand, they call that "yum-yum".

Don't ask me how I know that….

MzNicky November 8, 2011 at 8:02 pm

Odd, isn't it?, as there was published today, and mentioned in these very threads somewhere, a photo of Mr. Cain with the unknown "troubled" woman. I think she was sexually assaulting him at the time by having his arm around her shoulders.

MzNicky November 8, 2011 at 8:10 pm

Yep. Here it is. http://citizenwells.wordpress.com/2011/11/08/shar

Earlier it was positioned as proof that Ms. Bialek couldn't possibly have harbored resentment toward Mr. Cain, cuz lookit, she's all huggy with him and stuff! Except wait wait, he never met her, doesn't remember her, never saw her, doesn't remember her voice, blah blah. Except well maybe that one or two times?

Judith_Priest November 8, 2011 at 8:55 pm

Oh God. All the comments on that site are about Obama being the "secret son" of Malcolm X.

I thought i'd heard it ALL, but there are about a dozen comments from people who absolutely believe this to be true. WTF? WTFF?

V572625694 November 8, 2011 at 8:58 pm

Never read comments anywhere but here. It's bad for the spirit.

RavenRant November 8, 2011 at 9:00 pm

That one has been going around the wingnuttisphere since before O was elected.

Don't ask me how I know.

Chet Kincaid November 8, 2011 at 9:06 pm

That ridiculous wingnut meme is old-ass news.

YouBetcha November 8, 2011 at 7:39 pm

Plus also such as, if you speak in the third person about yourself, it kills YouBetcha's girlboner. Every time. Do not want. She is not interested in hearing about you speak about yourself as though you are not yourself.

V572625694 November 8, 2011 at 8:01 pm

Whereas otherwise you'd be asking, "Where's my grope, Hermie?

Herring_Burnit November 8, 2011 at 8:10 pm

Can't have that, youbetcha.

Killing your girlboners, I mean.

littlebigdaddy November 8, 2011 at 10:21 pm

So is that a real thing?

Gleem_McShineys November 9, 2011 at 3:03 pm

I think the worst part of all of this for you, would be realizing that you actually previously HAD a girlboner for Cain.

Herman Cain thinks Herman Cain did you a pretty solid favor there.

mourningnmerica November 8, 2011 at 7:39 pm

This guy has a shorter shelf life than Joe Paterno.

rocktonsam November 8, 2011 at 7:49 pm

Paterno has had a 46 year career at Penn St., He should have had the integrity to do the right thing.He didn't.

Neither has the NCAA ever.

SorosBot November 8, 2011 at 7:56 pm

It looks like Penn State's firing him:
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/11/09/sports/ncaafoot

The University President was also involved in the cover-up and should also step down, but we'll see if that actually happens.

BaldarTFlagass November 8, 2011 at 8:00 pm

I heard Penn State is thinking of transferring Sandusky to coach at Notre Dame. The Catholics are more forgiving of this kind of shit.

starfanglednut November 8, 2011 at 8:07 pm

Who?

SorosBot November 8, 2011 at 10:12 pm

Fuck, I left the TV on a bit after Raising Hope and the local Fox News showed a pro-Paterno rally up in University Valley. I want to punch every single fuckhead there in the face. This is just like stars who still support Roman Polanski, or Catholics who still defend the church. Who gives a shit that he enabled child rape, he helped win a lot of football games even though football doesn't matter one bit in the greater scheme of things?

And, of course, 60% of FOX-29 viewers think he should stay. What's a little child rape versus winning a child's sport?

voodooeconomics November 8, 2011 at 7:39 pm

Were they all white wimun. What a racist.

Limeylizzie November 8, 2011 at 7:53 pm

All blonde, as well. As I say to my cat , when he attacks my yarn when I am knitting, "Trevor, do something original, don't be a stereotype".

Chet Kincaid November 8, 2011 at 9:01 pm

When you grow up being a good little Booker T. Washington devotee in Stockholm Syndrome, Georgia, happily drinking from the colored fountain and not causing any ruckus for the white folks, and your gutlessness is validated with executive positions in the upper management of lower-tier institutions and no-account dens of lobbying, what should be your reward? Why, getting to grope all the big-bosomed blondes you ever imagined, and having the white man himself pay to clean it all up for you!

Limeylizzie November 8, 2011 at 9:22 pm

God, I hadn't even considered that he grew up in a segregated South, Good God, how can that not make you just hate Whitey rather than kowtow to him?

RavenRant November 8, 2011 at 9:37 pm

And was too completely craven to participate in the Civil Rights movement in any way. Not even in the most timid, tentative manner. As a young man, he chose not to participate in the essential, momentous struggle of the age, the movement in which braver men and women were fighting, bleeding, and dying for his right to vote, his right to be treated as a human being, his right to be anything other than the most menial laborer.

He chose to keep his head down, stay out of trouble, let others shoulder the weight.

And now he thinks he has the character to lead the free world.

Chet Kincaid November 9, 2011 at 10:59 am

You know, to me, the issue is not that he didn't participate – lots of people didn't. But the active, gleeful pissing on the movement by repudiating it and making common cause with its worst adversaries – that's what is so offensive and self-humiliating.

Herring_Burnit November 8, 2011 at 8:13 pm

At least two, probably four (two female employees of Iowa Christian talk-show host Steve Deace were also, apparently, harassed, and somehow I think Iowa might have a surfeit of blonde white Christian ladies). One *other* woman whom he indicated an interest in harassing but was prevented from actually doint so, was Egyptian, but she could well have been blonde too. I haven't seen any photos of her.

I suspect he has a yen for blonde white women, which would make him a self-loathing racist.

Chet Kincaid November 8, 2011 at 9:29 pm

Nobody should give a shit what type of woman he has a yen for, so long as he keeps his fucking hands to himself.

BaldarTFlagass November 8, 2011 at 9:52 pm

"One *other* woman whom he indicated an interest in harassing but was prevented from actually doint so"

Ha ha! It's funny when the other guy gets cock-blocked!!

Herring_Burnit November 8, 2011 at 10:11 pm

Being as the lady is Egyptian, he should be grateful, since the folk of that nation have a tendency to cock-snip.

Ouch.

Callyson November 8, 2011 at 7:40 pm

According to the LA Times story I read on this, these two met at the National Restaurant Association's national convention in 1997. *Someone* please have photos…please?

V572625694 November 8, 2011 at 8:02 pm

There're pix. Hermano est tostado. See MzNicky's link above.

BaldarTFlagass November 8, 2011 at 7:40 pm

Doctor Fickle and Mr Jive.

parkypundit982 November 8, 2011 at 7:42 pm

I consider myself a fair to decent satirist. (http://worldnutzdaily.com) But on seeing the headline of this story, I bow to my master or mistress. As the case may be.

parkypundit982 November 8, 2011 at 7:43 pm

Should be easy enough to check Ms. Bialek's story, right? What hotel did she stay at? What night? Who upgraded her room? Was a credit card used? Somebody get on that, would you? Thanks.

mourningnmerica November 8, 2011 at 7:43 pm

He lied about taking that lie detector test.

starfanglednut November 8, 2011 at 8:16 pm

Are we sure about that? Let's give him a lie detector test to find out.

flamingpdog November 8, 2011 at 8:37 pm

But he'll have to take a lie detector test for you to prove that. And there'll have to be a "good" reason for that to happen. And if he doesn't see a "good" reason for that, then he doesn't have to take the lie detector test, and then he didn't lie about taking the lie detector test.

Wait, I'm confused. The pdog needs to go home and have a beer.

But which pdog is it?

NorthStarSpanx November 9, 2011 at 10:25 am

It's an admirable Palin tactic, say you did something or offer something when it never was. Like providing Trig's birth certificate and her full medical records.

Also too, make sure you use the power of your one-way MSM megaphone to call every critique and allegation 'frivolous' or that things 'simply did not happen.' Works like a charm. Herb will be rich off the speaking circuit for the next three years without actually having to work.

jdoleman November 8, 2011 at 7:43 pm

"Herman Cain Says Herman Cain Has No Idea What Herman Cain Is Saying"

Has Herman Cain commented yet?

Herring_Burnit November 8, 2011 at 8:13 pm

He will, as soon as he gets confirmation from Herman Cain.

Gleem_McShineys November 9, 2011 at 3:20 pm

This is good news for Herman Cain! ( The middle one?)

edgydrifter November 8, 2011 at 7:44 pm

No, we need details. The best part of these scandals is how gross and awkward the unwanted advances invariably go down. To wit:
1) Suggesting the presence of pubic hair on a can of soda in jest.
2) Drunkenly propositioning the lady in front of a crowd (Broadway Joe FTW!)
3) The sudden head-to-crotch kung fu lunge.
Personally, I find it hella amusing that even as a spotty fifteen-year-old I might actually have been more suave and debonair than these supposed cultural giants.

BaldarTFlagass November 8, 2011 at 8:02 pm

To be fair, Joe only said he'd like to give Miss Suzy a kiss; he didn't whip out his Little Joe and try to force her to "play the bozak." Unless I missed it.

MissTaken November 8, 2011 at 8:18 pm

Pubic hair on a can of coke:

While not at all suave or debonair was at least original. I wonder how many nights Clarence spent thinking that one up.

CarnyTrash November 8, 2011 at 8:29 pm

"I… I… I just want to kish you…"

Classic.

jdoleman November 8, 2011 at 7:45 pm

If Anthony Weiner had sexually harassed women in person instead of onTwitter, he'd have a political career today. (via @BorowitzReport )

SorosBot November 8, 2011 at 7:46 pm

Bob Dole says, "Bob Dole likes the way this Herman Cain fellow talks about Herman Cain, almost as much as Bob Dole likes his Viagra."

memzilla November 8, 2011 at 7:49 pm

Well, they both have ED (Electoral Dysfunction.)

BarackMyWorld November 8, 2011 at 10:21 pm
emmelemm November 8, 2011 at 7:48 pm

Bitches be trippin'.

Limeylizzie November 8, 2011 at 7:54 pm

How fabulous would that be? I wish he would say something like that.

MissTaken November 8, 2011 at 8:20 pm

And right into his crotch.

DahBoner November 8, 2011 at 10:37 pm

And that's why he had to pay Medical + pain/suffering.

They hit their heads on some serious wood…

Beetagger November 8, 2011 at 7:51 pm

The women he goes after all look like realtors. Maybe he thought he was working for the National Realtor's Association.

Chet Kincaid November 8, 2011 at 9:12 pm

hahaha

DerrickWildcat November 8, 2011 at 7:52 pm

"I would have remembered tits like that."

Herring_Burnit November 8, 2011 at 8:15 pm

I'm surprised he didn't ask her to flash a little nip to jog his memory.

CountryClubJihadi November 8, 2011 at 8:44 pm

He may not remember names, but he remembers pepperoni sized areolas.

Sparky_McGruff November 9, 2011 at 8:15 am

Harassment? No, way. Her ass meant nothing to me. I was trying to grab those titties!

lulzmonger November 9, 2011 at 3:45 pm

Takes one to know one … or even two.

JustPixelz November 8, 2011 at 7:52 pm

He complains about anonymous sources when the women are honoring the confidentiality promise they made.

He says there are no facts* to support the "allegations' then he says he infers it's a "Democrat" conspiracy … but has no facts to back that up.
_______________________
* fun fact: the National Restaurant Association investigated and paid

SorosBot November 8, 2011 at 7:54 pm

Psst, Mr. Cain; Mitt Romney is not a Democrat.

samsuncle November 8, 2011 at 7:52 pm

I think I'm coming down with a severe case of Cain fatigue just as I was beginning to recover from Palinitis.

Schmannnity November 8, 2011 at 7:52 pm

It must have been his evil Latin twin, Hermin Cain.

SudsMcKenzie November 8, 2011 at 7:57 pm

Any ideas on the inevitable Porno movie title?

Blueb4sunrise November 8, 2011 at 8:04 pm

Herman Tries to Get Laid Using His Position as CEO of National Restaurant Association

HateMachine November 8, 2011 at 9:15 pm

I know I've seen more ridiculous titles.

MissTaken November 8, 2011 at 8:22 pm

Herman's Sweet Candy Cain

DaSandman November 8, 2011 at 8:44 pm

Raisin'' Cain

BaldarTFlagass November 8, 2011 at 9:04 pm

The Cain Screwtiny.

BaldarTFlagass November 8, 2011 at 9:05 pm

Herman and Cain-mar Go For White Women.

the_problem_child November 8, 2011 at 9:12 pm

Pepperoni Delivery.

Dudleydidwrong November 8, 2011 at 9:13 pm

Herman Does the National Restaurant Association

fartknocker November 9, 2011 at 12:24 am

If they film the DVD with a cold weather genre they could call it "Ice Road Fuckers."

snackypants November 9, 2011 at 1:01 am

You-fucky-fucky-fucky-Cain-Cain?

Nostrildamus November 9, 2011 at 1:07 am

The Tall Blond Woman with One Black Schlong

Buckminster November 9, 2011 at 12:02 pm

The Pizza Man Rings Twice

Gleem_McShineys November 9, 2011 at 3:33 pm

Crotching Tiger, Hidden Salami

BlueStateLibel November 8, 2011 at 7:58 pm

Cain needs to put up more flags behind himself, then I'll believe him. Eh, jokey man will be out of here soon enough, not to worry.

Chichikovovich November 8, 2011 at 7:59 pm

It just occurred to me that we are missing one important positive, uplifting side to all this, and I for one am grateful to Herman Cain for it.

Every night, as darkness creeps over him, Rick Santorum will lie staring at the ceiling in his twin bed (five yards from his wife's), in his favorite pyjamas (the ones commemorating the Albigensian Crusade, the St. Bartholomew's Day Massacre, and the Revocation of the Edict of Nantes), struggling to sleep. And as his thoughts tumble through his mind, he'll cast a question to the silence: "Do the American people – even the core Republicans – really have such contempt for me and what I stand for that I can be clobbered by an obvious grifter – a professional lobbyist – a clown who can't utter two sentences without at least one of them being genuine nonsense? A man who is running for the Republican nomination and won't even take a clear stand against abortion for heaven's sake? A pathological horndog so extreme he would have been kicked out of the Rolling Stones for terminal cat scratch fever? Could they really hate me that much?"

And the silence whispers: "Yes, Rick. Yes they do."

emmelemm November 8, 2011 at 8:11 pm

I think I love you. What a great image you've given me.

Dok-cupy Everything November 8, 2011 at 8:20 pm

Gods, that was beautiful.

MissTaken November 8, 2011 at 8:24 pm

Double Rainbow has nothing on this piece of beauty.

RavenRant November 8, 2011 at 8:25 pm

What emm and Dok said.

Also, too, I want those PJs.

Chichikovovich November 8, 2011 at 8:46 pm

Thanks gang, I'm touched by the kind words.

No luck on the pyjamas, though. I think you have to be a high-ranking member of Opus Dei to get them.

Chet Kincaid November 8, 2011 at 8:38 pm

This is best when read in Vincent Price's "Thriller" voice.

BaldarTFlagass November 8, 2011 at 8:44 pm

Nice. And, for a second there:
(the ones commemorating the Albigensian Crusade, the St. Bartholomew's Day Massacre, and the Revocation of the Edict of Nantes)
I thought maybe Dennis Miller had finally returned from the dark side.

OccupytheDashboard November 8, 2011 at 8:46 pm

I…I love you man.

V572625694 November 8, 2011 at 9:01 pm

Wow. Moar pleez.

Judith_Priest November 8, 2011 at 9:08 pm

I am in tears over the description of those pajamas.

And the Rolling Stones comment was exquisite, too.

I am humbled and in awe of your prowess.

LetUsBray November 8, 2011 at 10:45 pm

"Yeah, no one likes a weird old out-of-control perv", adds Bill Wyman.

On the plus side, once the inevitable photos of him and the accuser(s) surface, he can always walk back his claims that he never met them by saying he forgot their fucking names.

Dudleydidwrong November 8, 2011 at 9:24 pm

That, Wonketeers, is why we teach history. Bravo, Chichikovovich, bravo!

BTWBFDIMHO November 9, 2011 at 12:06 am

Wow, you're right!!!

RavenRant November 8, 2011 at 9:44 pm

Chichikovovich, did you know that Mr. Layne is searching for a new Wonkette, Jr.?

Please, please, please, make it so.

Judith_Priest November 8, 2011 at 10:06 pm

Just shared this with Mr _Priest. He says, "I bet I know what the stain on the back of those pajama bottoms is!"

DahBoner November 8, 2011 at 10:36 pm

"And the silence whispers: "Yes, Rick. Yes they do.""

Sometimes when God doesn't answer your prayers Rick, it means he doesn't like you….

FlownOver November 8, 2011 at 10:38 pm

Is there a Pulitzer for snark?

Because, WIN!

fuflans November 8, 2011 at 10:53 pm

well that gets my 'comment of the week' award. if we're still doing that…

thanks chichi

(also, i had the pleasure of giving you double 'p's', from my phone and my computer. i love it when that works…)

schvitzatura November 9, 2011 at 2:39 am
Schmannnity November 8, 2011 at 7:59 pm

Why, from a comedic standpoint, couldn't Cain have "met" Lisa Lampanelli?

Redhead November 8, 2011 at 8:02 pm

Oh, Cain. We already believed you were an absolute idiot. You didn't need to prove us right.

Indiepalin November 8, 2011 at 8:02 pm

If all these women are gonna hold a joint news conference, they better find a large enough venue, like Cowboys Stadium.

not that Dewey November 8, 2011 at 8:12 pm

The Bank of America lawyers all just heaved a collective sigh of relief — "whew! at least we didn't have to deal with THAT many pissed-off people!"

ThundercatHo November 8, 2011 at 8:02 pm

You'll never make it as a politician if you can't lie better than that.

JustPixelz November 8, 2011 at 8:02 pm

It's worth noting that Herman Cain objected to reporters talking to his family. He basically said talk to him and leave the family out of this.

From HuffPo today…

Limbaugh also attacked Bialek's son. In the CNN interview, she told Costello that her son had encouraged her to make her allegations public. "You think Obama doesn't love hearing this?" Limbaugh said. "A 13-year-old tattle-tale. I mean, that is a brownshirt preview here. Exactly what big government types like."

Limbaugh calling the kid a Nazi. Your move Herman.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/11/08/rush-lim

SorosBot November 8, 2011 at 8:28 pm

Um, the Hitler Youth were encouraged to turn on their parents if they spoke against the regime, not to encourage their parents to go public with nasty shit the regime's representatives did to them.

Chet Kincaid November 8, 2011 at 8:36 pm

Why bother even parsing his vile bile?

LetUsBray November 8, 2011 at 10:30 pm

The thought of a 13-year old tattletale sure is upsetting to Buttboil. I wonder why.

RavenRant November 9, 2011 at 12:24 pm

Sandusky could probably explain.

Troglodeity November 9, 2011 at 5:51 pm

Except in this case "brownshirt" means Boy Scout.

V572625694 November 8, 2011 at 8:03 pm

A joint press conference with all the accusers? Are we sure she didn't mean to say "a ten-part reality show with all the accusers"?

SudsMcKenzie November 8, 2011 at 8:11 pm

Keeping up with Herman's Cain?

V572625694 November 8, 2011 at 8:21 pm

How about "American Harasser," with a judge-panel made up of Charlie Sheen (the Simon Cowell figure), Anita Hill and, of course, Bill Clinton, and Herman as the MC? The contestants will vie to tell the most heart-rending, horrifying stories of how they were harassed.

Thing writes itself.

emmelemm November 8, 2011 at 8:39 pm

3. ????
4. Profit!!!

I think you've discovered the missing link.

starfanglednut November 8, 2011 at 8:09 pm

What does a unicorn need a dildo for, anyway? It has that horn.

x111e7thst November 8, 2011 at 8:11 pm

Fuck Sturmbannführer Herrmann Kain and the pizza he rode in on.

ttommyunger November 8, 2011 at 8:17 pm

I must admit, I'm enjoying this waaay too much….Keep on keepin' on Hermie, you fucking kill me!

Cheneysleftnut November 8, 2011 at 8:21 pm

The best is yet to come: at the next debate, Cain is asked about his alleged manhandling of women, and the audience erupts in applause…

weejee November 8, 2011 at 8:23 pm

Black Walnutz is certainly shaking it doing his poll dance, but his numbers are still dropping faster than his Pinocchio nose is growin'.

Guppy November 8, 2011 at 8:27 pm

"Cain also promised to take a lie detector test"

"I never touched a woman who didn't really want it."

"I never did anything inappropriate for a work environment."

"I have done nothing wrong."

"All women want my man-meat."

HateMachine November 8, 2011 at 9:18 pm

Don't forget "I don't recall."

bebecca2298 November 9, 2011 at 3:57 pm

That wasn't sexual harrassment, those were compliments.

RavenRant November 8, 2011 at 8:40 pm

We need a national poll immediately: What percentage of likely voters reflexively hate guys that refer to themselves in the third person?

MissTaken November 8, 2011 at 8:44 pm

MissTaken hates when people refer to themselves in the third person. It really chaps her hide.

MzNicky November 8, 2011 at 10:05 pm

All of 'em, Katie!

LetUsBray November 8, 2011 at 10:42 pm

Latin teacher note: ANOTHER reason to dread Caesar's memoirs of his Gaul-invading days being dumped onto the AP course.

johnnymeatworth November 9, 2011 at 9:00 am

Render unto Little Caesar the things that are Little Caesar's.

MissTaken November 8, 2011 at 8:44 pm

Justin Bieber's denial was more coherent and believable than this.

MikeInMichigan November 8, 2011 at 8:45 pm

Herman Cain's big head doesn't know what Herman Cain's little head is doing.

bflrtsplk November 8, 2011 at 8:50 pm

Herman Cain: Herman Cain did not sexually harass those woman.

BaldarTFlagass November 8, 2011 at 8:53 pm

OT, but at least here in South Central Texas at this time (755 pm CST), you can see what appears to be that near-miss asteroid, a few degrees "south" of the moon. Pretty cool.

Or maybe it's just an airplane and I'm drunk.

RavenRant November 8, 2011 at 9:02 pm

Wait, what? You're not an astronomer, too?

BaldarTFlagass November 8, 2011 at 9:08 pm

Fooking Renaissance Man, eh?

"Stay thirsty, my friend…"

littlebigdaddy November 8, 2011 at 10:24 pm

Baldar, I am willing to give you the most interesting man award. I have learned more about perverted sex from you than from my older brother.

Come here a minute November 8, 2011 at 9:15 pm

Sorry, I think it's just Jupiter.

Added:

Unless you are (or know) an amateur or professional astronomer, with access to at least a 6-inch telescope, the answer is that you will not see it. The asteroid is some 8,700 times smaller in diameter than the moon. It will be too faint to see with the eye alone, or even binoculars. If you could see it, this asteroid – albeit close to Earth – would look like a steadily moving star. It will not show a disk, as the moon does.

BaldarTFlagass November 8, 2011 at 10:07 pm

Thank you. i went to the NASA site and didn't see anything, my old man called me originally and said he saw it moving ever so slowly, but I guess he was drinking. He was a little disappointed and I think pissed when i called him and told him Jupiter. '

littlebigdaddy November 8, 2011 at 10:24 pm

No, idiot. It's Uranus.

SudsMcKenzie November 8, 2011 at 8:56 pm

OT; but … eey, ohhh, Way to Go Ohio!11

fuflans November 8, 2011 at 10:56 pm

on the way from dinner a libtard family member was asking about OH and MS.

i went to wonkette first.

RavenRant November 8, 2011 at 8:57 pm

Got to say, I beat a lie detector test in High School. An 'expert', supposedly one of the best people in the field, was brought in to give a demonstration. He gave a little speech about how it was foolproof, nobody could beat the machine, blah blah blah. I volunteered, lied through my teeth, and passed with flying colors.

No, I'm not a sociopath. Lie detectors are crap science. There is a reason the results are not admissible in court. Do not ever take one if you are in trouble. The results can be twisted any way the 'expert' wants.

V572625694 November 8, 2011 at 9:17 pm

Plus Herman seems to be able to adjust his memory to suit his purposes. If he truly believes he's telling the truth, the lie detector will show that. In fact his (slightly qualified) willingness to take the test may indicate that he's survived previous encounters.

BarackMyWorld November 8, 2011 at 9:58 pm

Lie detectors have been debunked by a lot of experts. And Penn & Teller.

SorosBot November 8, 2011 at 10:05 pm

They've been known to be bullshit for decades, but the general public (in part thanks to TV and movies) thinks they work. The inventor, William Moulton Marston, was also a very strange guy who was into polyamory, bondage, believed in female dominance and matriarchy and who created Wonder Woman; as any look at the early issues he wrote shows.

johnnymeatworth November 9, 2011 at 9:01 am

And George Costanza.

valgal2342 November 8, 2011 at 9:13 pm

A perfect headline.

Chet Kincaid November 8, 2011 at 9:16 pm

"And to prove to you that these allegations are ridickalus, this fine law enforcement officer will monitor me as I walk a straight line past the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders, then touch the tip of my thang with each index finger."

rickmaci November 8, 2011 at 9:26 pm

Looks to me like Herm would have been a lot better off if he had just laid off the little blue pills.

rocktonsam November 8, 2011 at 9:29 pm

Thank you Ohio,

Sam

MozakiBlocks November 8, 2011 at 9:50 pm

All this circus needs now is a dancing bear to be complete.

littlebigdaddy November 8, 2011 at 10:26 pm

Look up "dancing bear" on Google and you will be surprised.

BarackMyWorld November 8, 2011 at 9:54 pm
Barrelhse November 8, 2011 at 9:55 pm

He's both schizophrenic.

MzNicky November 8, 2011 at 10:08 pm

I don't recall ever seeing a presidential candidate introduced/defensively lauded by his attorney at a press conference before. Historical moment?

TitsOccupado November 8, 2011 at 10:09 pm

Kinda liking the way the elections are shaking out for the most part, but it sure does illustrate just how fucking schitzo we are as a country.

Terry November 8, 2011 at 10:13 pm

So, once again, a GOP businessman who is supposed to reform government, running it more like a business, turns out not to be an honorable man and actually a bad businessman. What a shock.

littlebigdaddy November 8, 2011 at 10:22 pm

I'm thinkin Hermie gonna half to choke a bitch.

littlebigdaddy November 8, 2011 at 10:25 pm

Yeehaw! (Howard Dean whoop)

BarackMyWorld November 8, 2011 at 10:32 pm

"Herman Cain says he doesn't even know who Sharon Bialek is despite allegations of sexual harassment."

Countdown to photo of them together in 3, 2, 1…

Pat_Pending November 8, 2011 at 10:51 pm

oh hell, at least it wasn't Mayim Bialek. I'd cut him if he fucked with Blossom.

SorosBot November 8, 2011 at 11:05 pm

Whoa!

DahBoner November 8, 2011 at 10:33 pm

Forget the Greta Garbo Eyes.

Herman Cain got's the Dubya Sneer

Pat_Pending November 8, 2011 at 10:48 pm

I wonder how long before the Koch-Cain connection is severed…

SayItWithWookies November 8, 2011 at 11:37 pm

What I really like that nobody seems to have mentioned yet is that he's admitted the NRA paid the two women who filed complaints but says their investigation found their complaints were entirely baseless. Is anyone else surprised to find out that if you baselessly accuse your boss of sexual harassment, your company will hand you a check for a year's salary and send you on your way? I mean this guy's supposed to be a fucking astute businessman and yet he thinks a company he headed is run the way a couple of four-year-olds with a half-dozen Barbie dolls and a pile of Monopoly money might imagine it. And nobody's asked him about that.

BTWBFDIMHO November 9, 2011 at 12:15 am

The comments on this posting are beyond.
Touché, Wonketteratti! Hey, wait, does it count as sexual harassment too?

Nostrildamus November 9, 2011 at 12:42 am

Herman Cain : women :: John McCain : fighter jets

ShaveTheWhales November 9, 2011 at 2:39 am

But how does this affect Sarah Palin?

/Ducks

OccupytheDashboard November 9, 2011 at 2:48 am

OT but still in the realm of GOP Crazy Disconnect:
http://blogs.browardpalmbeach.com/pulp/2011/11/al

carlgt1 November 9, 2011 at 8:04 am

perhaps racism is over? I mean this new woman who came forward is a nice lily-white fragile woman – who Cain was all over groping for butt-sex. And the Repugs are attacking HER!

tihond November 9, 2011 at 8:47 am

Fun fact: "U Becki Becki Becki Stan" was actually Cain's guest list for an orgy he was having, it should be written as "You, Becky, Becki Becky, Stan"

tealsheart November 9, 2011 at 9:38 am

To quote the PurplePizzaPimp, the godFather who makes you hollar, he who dips his pepperoni in your moist sauce…he who will claim that the photos ( to come) are photoshopped:

"Bit'cheese Please"

V572625694 November 9, 2011 at 10:26 am

"I reject the charges" + "I don't recall this person" ≠ "I didn't do it."

"I never behaved inappropriately" = "She was askin for it!"

Chet Kincaid November 9, 2011 at 11:29 am

Uh oh, KBJ's starting to get infected with Teh Ken. Show us on the paystub where he touched you…

lulzmonger November 9, 2011 at 3:54 pm

Christ, what an asshole. The hoity-toity third-person schtick looked deranged & moronic when Dole did it, & it definitely does not improve with age.

Looks like Herman Cain is setting up Herman Cain's (9th? 10th? 15th?) defense based on Herman Cain having multiple-personality disorder, even though the personalities all have the same name & characteristics, unlike every case of MPD ever … because that's just how Herman Cain rolls.

Troglodeity November 9, 2011 at 5:54 pm

The accuser is a Tea Party Republican. But I guess that doesn't make her any more credible.

hopeymcchange November 9, 2011 at 11:17 pm

Is the book tour almost over?

HempDogbane November 8, 2011 at 9:28 pm

I got a couple chuckles reading those comments as they occasionally interrupted the X talk to defend Herman. There is some strong 'tardation there.

flamingpdog November 8, 2011 at 10:52 pm

Spread by a lot of old asses.

ShaveTheWhales November 9, 2011 at 2:27 am

Or, possibly, old ass-news,

Flat_Earther November 9, 2011 at 5:48 pm

You just had to bring up the dwarf…

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