sex bomb sex bomb

Why Yes, There IS a Hawt Ron Paul Pin-Up Calendar

The babes of Paultardlandia, all (four) of them, have banded together to bring us a campy Xmasween Ron Paul calendar. It is an amazingly weird and wild libertarian mix of scantily-clad ladies, furries, vampires and flags (plus the sexxxy Photoshopped cover below) for America’s freedom-loving fappers! Here are some of the crazy photos, go clicky click!

[’s Business Daily; thanks to Wonkette operative “Monsieur Grumpe”]

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Hola wonkerados.

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    1. CapnFatback

      Hmm. I think I would have gone with "wouldn't do any of these chicks with Neilist's love gun."

  1. SorosBot

    I'd like to pin up them, if you know what I mean.

    Oh wait, no I wouldn't; maybe the redhead, but the others no.

      1. SorosBot

        Considering how the Libertarian community is dominated by (outrageously sexist) men, it's probably one of those areas like Comic-Con where any woman who isn't hideous gets treated as if she's gorgeous, giving them a rather inflated view of their attractiveness. These women probably think they're all hot, but 3/4 of them are just plain plain.

        1. BaldarTFlagass

          Works the same for Western women in Afghanistan, Iraq, the Falklands, and most other various and sundry war zones. That's one thing my father's wars had over the ones these days: hot Asian and Australian chicks on R&R.

        2. Herring_Burnit

          Given that men outnumber women by 2,000 to 1 in the "Libertarian community" or rather, the Libertarian association of singletons, it's hardly surprising that they treat the few women in their midst as a scarce commodity. THEY ARE! Those boys have NEVER dipped their dick in a pretty girl (and, mostly, not in a pretty boy, either) and they are desperate and irate about their desperation, and it all comes off as misogyny.

          Give me the wild and crazy wimmin of the leftie liberal side any day. They know what they want, and mostly what they want is to feel good, and if you're along for the ride, you'll be feeling pretty damn good yourself, in short order, as long as you don't try to boss 'em around. Wimminz who like sex are always hotter than those who think it's a commodity to trade.

    1. gullywompr

      Except for the fact that they're fans of a crazy grandpa, they all look perfectly adequate to me.

      Come on guys, you know you would. You're all Wonketteers, fercrissakes – stop trying to convince us that you have standards or something.

      1. SorosBot

        The "Ron Paul fan" part automatically puts them into "hell no unless they're really hot / I'm really desperate" territory, though. There's something about being in a cult that promotes outrageously selfish and anti-human policies that's a real turn-off, at least for me.

        1. Herring_Burnit

          Funny, innit? I just can't get hot for Sarah or one-L or Joe Walsh, or any of those other yobs. And it has everything to do with their meanness and nothing to do with their looks.

  2. Troglodeity

    I'm waiting for the Herman Cain Sexual Harassment Victim calendar. They're up to June already.

    1. Negropolis

      They're up to June and still have Krystal, Kandy, Licorice, Mercedes, Shampain, and Strawberry left.

    1. NorthStarSpanx

      I hope you didn't, it only encourages them. Next thing you know, they're running for Senate or what the hell, right for the White House.

  3. OccupytheDashboard


    What's Ron Jeremy Paul signing…settlement checks? Also, whyare the women dressed in hot (?) and modern outfits while Ron is dressed as a foppish, dissipated English poet…or the bass player from Paul Revere and the Raiders?

    1. Limeylizzie

      The lead guitarist from Paul Revere and the Raiders was my seatmate on a flight from NYC to Chicago a couple of months ago.

        1. Limeylizzie

          I would think he was about mid-60s, he was so sweet very nice and a total Progressive! We talked Wonkette, actually.

        1. Limeylizzie

          Yes, they were touring the mid-West, he was so nice, sort of nerdy, was reading his Kindle and chatting away to me , he has been with them since the mid-60s, he said.

          1. poncho_pilot

            jealous. all of those '60s bands i've been into for years that were past their prime before i was born…and i'm not one for casinos and festivals. i had about 8 good years of popular and indie music to live to see in the '90s and then it all went to shit again. if only i'd been born in 1948 instead of 1978. then i'd be making the same comment about how awful '70s music was.

      1. SorosBot

        Now that was a great show – for the first season. Then the network made them turn the show lighter and more mainstream, as illustrated by her quitting hooking to become a bartender, and it got dull.

      2. AnAmericanInTO

        I have a Laroquette Show crew jacket that I swiped through nefarious means years ago. Huge fan.

    1. LetUsBray

      Ah, has the last bunga been bungaed?

      Or is Ronnie Paul drawing up plans for his own bunga bunga do in that pic up top?

    2. Guppy

      This actually surprises me. I figured that, after surviving a sex scandal with an undocumented, underaged immigrant prostitute, he'd bluster his way through anything.

      FORZA GNOCCA! He will be missed.

      Actually how's his English? Might be able to find him a place in the GOP…

  4. Mahousu

    Those outfits look like the kinds of things we always have left over at the church yard sale – even when we knock the prices down to a nickel.

      1. Mahousu

        Yeah, well, you know who else hung around prostitutes.

        Oh, wait, it's supposed to be a question: You know who else hung around prostitutes?

  5. SexySmurf

    Hey fellas, for $23 you can order a Pin Ups 4 Ron Paul Shirt with the words "Talent Scout" emblazoned over it, just in case you need to ensure that no woman in her right mind will ever fuck you.

  6. HempDogbane

    We're lonely, we're romantic
    And the cider's laced with acid
    And the holy spirit's crying, 'where's the beef?

  7. Monsieur_Grumpe

    It could have been worse. It could have been all Ron Paul pictures like…

    Ron Paul bending over with a Herman Cain-like grin.

    Ron Paul in a Speedo pulling the plug on some uninsured Democrat.

    Ron Paul laying down in a huge pile of gold coins with some strategically placed coins covering his naughty bits.

    Ron Paul style striptease which involves removing his eyebrows.

    And so on…

  8. Goonemeritus

    Snark off- When Ron finally shuts this train to nowhere down what the hell are these supporters going to do. The stuff that attracts them is not even given lip service in the Republican or Democratic Party. I’m old enough to remember how both parties rushed to bring the Ross Perot followers into the tent. Do we have a ”legalize it” plank to look forward to out of Romney or perhaps an Obama Blimp?

    1. LetUsBray

      '”legalize it” plank to look forward to out of Romney'

      Willard may possibly come out in favor of legalizing Diet Coke if he feels a need to tack back to the center for the general election.

    2. glamourdammerung

      The stuff that attracts them is not even given lip service in the Republican or Democratic Party.

      Not sure what you mean as there is plenty of casual racism in the Republican Party.

  9. HempDogbane

    And I miss you since the place got wrecked
    By the winds of change and the weeds of sex
    Looks like freedom but it feels like death
    It's something in between, I guess

    1. OccupytheDashboard

      Another Cohen quote FTW!

      "Looks like freedom but it feels like death "

      This pretty much sums up the times, I think.

      1. HempDogbane

        Leonard anticipated most everything. That looking at the photo brings to immediate mind lyrics from Closing Time is some kind of weird.

    1. OccupytheDashboard

      Reminds me of a joke:

      A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife.

      She was a very good-looking woman, and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand.

      Two men applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk.

      She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk.

      He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot about ranching.

      For weeks, the two of them worked, and the ranch was doing very well. Then one day, the rancher's widow said to the hired hand, "You have done a really good job, and the ranch looks great. You should go into town and kick up your heels."

      The hired hand readily agreed and went into town one Saturday night.

      One o'clock came, however, and he didn't return. Two o'clock, and no hired hand.

      He returned around two-thirty, and upon entering the room, he found the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting for him.

      She quietly called him over to her. "Unbutton my blouse and take it off," she said. Trembling, he did as she directed.

      "Now take off my boots." He did as she asked, ever so slowly.

      "Now take off my socks." He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots.

      "Now take off my skirt." He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the fire light.

      "Now take off my bra." Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was told and dropped it to the floor.

      "Now," she said, "take off my panties." By the light of the fire, he slowly pulled them down and off.

      Then she looked at him and said, "If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you're fired."

  10. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    I understand that Conservatives have problems with doing comedy and porn right, but, come on, if there is anything to be said for Libertarianism, there should at least be some nudity and pot smoking.

  11. DaRooster

    The one on his left is a "Rebel-Rouser"?

    Psst… Herm has a "L'il Rebel"… oh, I guess his is a little repelling…

    1. PubOption

      "Rebel-Rouser"? Will she have Skoal Rebel fapping into his spit cup, while shouting "The South will rise again"?

    1. Fare la Volpe

      They do have a single black girl on the website. Not surprisingly, she appears in exactly none of their promos.

  12. SayItWithWookies

    There's absolutely nothing wrong with real women who don't look like SI swimsuit models. Libertarian girls in pirate shirts, however — that's just a warning all by itself.

  13. Tommmcattt

    Is that what straight porn stars look like? They aren't as meth-y as the gay ones.

    I can't decide if that is a good or a bad thing.

    1. SorosBot

      Kramer: This pirate trend that she's come up with, Jerry — this is gonna be the new look for the 90's. You're gonna be the first pirate!
      Jerry: But, I don't wanna to be a pirate!

  14. fartknocker

    I'll bet that's great jack off material for the guys down in Georgia who got their tranny porn and pink dildos returned to them.

  15. littlebigdaddy

    That's obviously Bilbo Baggins in the middle, but I don't remember those other characters from LOTR. Maybe barmaids at the Prancing Pony?

  16. north_of_moscow

    "I served with Ben Franklin, I knew Ben Franklin, Ben Franklin was a friend of mine. Rep. Paul, you're no Ben Franklin."

    "It's time for your nap, Senator McCain."

  17. Guppy

    It's nice to know someone is keeping the cheap hair dye industry afloat in these tough economic times.

  18. Chichikovovich

    The raccoon/Orly Taitz imitator on the left is described as the granddaughter of one of the founders of the Polish Solidarity union in the 1970s. I've no doubt that the dream of all the workers in the Gdánsk shipyards was that some day their descendants would have the opportunity they never knew, to become third tier cheesecake models so desperate for work that they'd fasten onto a calendar targeted at sex-starved Ron Paul fanboys.

  19. ThundercatHo

    This is sort of the awful opposite of the great Betty White calender I got my mom for xmas last year. Lots of beautifully built men with well oiled pecs and Betty herself totally rocks. PS, best post of the week, wtg M. Grumpe.

  20. Bonghits4Jesus

    Hardly fap-worthy. There I was hoping for some hot furry-sex and the damn gorilla was wearing a TSA badge.

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