Important Newz Regarding First Amendment Rights And Truck Nutz

by Kirsten Boyd Johnson

Symbol of freedom or terrorism?Our most critical free speech rights continue to hang in the balance today: “The highly anticipated jury trial for a woman ticketed for dangling Bulls Balls from the trailer hitch of her truck has been postponed, for a third time,” according to, yes, ABC News. AMERICA WEEPS BITTERLY, because justice is elusive. And yet it rejoices, too, to learn that out of the sands of time and our nation’s enduring adventures in plastic novelty testicles there has arisen this marvelous thing the “Trial of the Truck Nutz” starring Virginia Tice, a 65-year-old South Carolina woman we heard about this summer who decided to fight her $445 public obscenity ticket by taking it to court.

Tice argues that her First Amendment rights allow her to hang decorative balls wherever she likes, whereas other town officials argue this is just a massive waste of time. WE ARE WITH TICE.

Chief Fuda said he does not see the humor in this eight inch life-like simulate of the male anatomy.

Bischoff said the case is a waste of town resources and time.

“It would seem very resonable to say they have spent more money than it is worth at this point,” he said.

He said he only continues his role because he believes his client has not done anything illegal and should not have to pay $445 of hard-earned money.

You’re welcome. Happy Friday. [ABC News; thanks to Wonkette Operative "Scott L."]

 
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{ 190 comments }

nounverb911 November 4, 2011 at 12:11 pm

Every man in SC wishes he had as big a pair as Tice has.

poncho_pilot November 4, 2011 at 12:19 pm

i thought South Carolina was the man boob capitol of the world?

Occupy V572 November 4, 2011 at 12:31 pm

Mississippi would contest that proposition, if they could spell "proposition."

chicken_thief November 4, 2011 at 12:47 pm

NJ (#9 Least Obese) might have had a shot at Least Obese if not for the fat fuck Governor.

YouBetcha November 4, 2011 at 12:49 pm

On behalf of womankind, let me remind you boys that we really don't care how big they are. In fact, the smaller they are, the bigger everything in their vicinity appears in relation to them.

Leave the large, dangling sacks for truckz.

Generation[redacted] November 4, 2011 at 1:27 pm

"Hello, doc? Looks like I need to cancel my appointment for ball enlargement surgery. Turns out the li'l lady isn't going like my double-Ds after all"

widestanceshakedown November 4, 2011 at 1:43 pm

Two (overly large) berries, one (proportionally small) twig is not this ghey's dream, either.

Dok-cupy Everything November 4, 2011 at 2:07 pm

Hitler
Has only got one ball
Goerring
Has two, but very small
Himmler
Has something sim'lar
And poor old Goebbels
Has no balls
at all

(To the tune of "The Col. Bogey March")

OccupytheDashboard November 4, 2011 at 2:54 pm

I would donate a large sum of money to her favorite charity to see Lizzie singing this while wearing a French marquis outfit.

YouBetcha November 4, 2011 at 2:21 pm

Sorry, should have included the gheys in my "on behalf of".

widestanceshakedown November 4, 2011 at 2:27 pm

Don't give it a second thought, YB. Mostly, I just hadn't used the twig/berry analogy for some time, and you provided me the opportunity. And you are so right, who wants balls so big even one is more than a mouthful?

Toomush_Infer November 4, 2011 at 2:47 pm

Ah, it's the thought that counts….

TanzbodenKoenig November 4, 2011 at 12:12 pm

BALLS FREE OR DIE

Tundra Grifter November 4, 2011 at 12:13 pm

If public bulls' balls were illegal, wouldn't they have to give a ticket to every cowboy in Texas?

WunkRocker November 4, 2011 at 12:18 pm

Or even this shady character
2049462-the-famous-wall-street-bull-0.jpg (600×449) http://bit.ly/tdw8IA

Generation[redacted] November 4, 2011 at 12:28 pm

Give Wall Street a ticket. They can mail in the fine or appear in court to plead no lo contendre, and get a reduced fine if they agree to put boxer shorts on it. It would be the most severe punishment yet.

bureaucrap November 4, 2011 at 12:30 pm

from the photo, it's clear that people have been rubbing the bull's balls for good luck. Or just to see what happens.

James Michael Curley November 4, 2011 at 2:36 pm

One brass, the part most touched is always tarnish free. Those wall streeters re weird.

Tundra Grifter November 4, 2011 at 3:37 pm

I prefer the lion's tail in front of the Chicago Art Institute.

James Michael Curley November 4, 2011 at 4:51 pm

And Marc Chagall’s windows – I’d hate to have the job cleaning them.

Tundra Grifter November 4, 2011 at 3:36 pm

So it takes bronze balls to sell stocks and bonds?

Along with puts and calls, of course. But enough about Herman Cain.

tessiee November 4, 2011 at 11:02 pm

"Along with puts and calls, of course. But enough about Herman Cain."

If we're talking about Herman Cain, it should be *putz* and calls.

Tundra Grifter November 5, 2011 at 1:23 pm

tessiee:

Yes! Putz and call girls would have kept him out of trouble. Unless, of course, one of the working girls talked and he became Client # 9-9-9.

Biel_ze_Bubba November 4, 2011 at 12:25 pm

Not to mention putting BVDs, or at least a jockstrap, on all the bulls.

flamingpdog November 4, 2011 at 12:52 pm

And shut down every restaurant that serves Rocky Mountain oysters? Or at least make suckers, er, peoplez wear blindfolds while eating them.

nounverb911 November 4, 2011 at 12:13 pm

Now we know where Lindsey Graham's manhood went.

Lascauxcaveman November 4, 2011 at 12:19 pm

Right. Like he ever had a pair.

Not_So_Much November 4, 2011 at 12:36 pm

Hint: It's long and black and full of seaman.

chicken_thief November 4, 2011 at 12:49 pm

A submarine?!

Gratuitous World November 4, 2011 at 12:14 pm

I've learned tons of toddlers are allergic to truck nutz.

'be careful' is all i'm saying.

Not_So_Much November 4, 2011 at 12:37 pm

People are feeding these to toddlers? They should be on trial.

chicken_thief November 4, 2011 at 12:50 pm

Unless, of course, they have a sincere religious or moral conviction to do so.

AlterNewt November 4, 2011 at 12:14 pm

The 'Trucknutz trial' will not be televised.

CapnFatback November 4, 2011 at 12:14 pm

Welp, South Carolina, the balls're in your court.

BaldarTFlagass November 4, 2011 at 12:15 pm

She should take this case all the way to the Supreme Court, if necessary.

EatsBabyDingos November 4, 2011 at 12:15 pm

Wish the DNC could grow some of those.

dennis1943 November 4, 2011 at 1:26 pm

I believe that may have been the subliminal message……….

CarnyTrash November 4, 2011 at 12:15 pm

Today we are all eight inch life-like simulates of the male anatomy.

AlterNewt November 4, 2011 at 12:17 pm

"Two of us, two of us!"

Zombie_Reagan November 4, 2011 at 12:15 pm

I thought having a truck that big meant you had a small penis?

Lascauxcaveman November 4, 2011 at 12:20 pm

Maybe she does.

(But I ain't gonna check.)

user-of-owls November 4, 2011 at 12:22 pm

Girl boners FTW!

SorosBot November 4, 2011 at 12:20 pm

She's a woman, so maybe compensating for small tits?

flamingpdog November 4, 2011 at 12:58 pm

So mebbe this is what Limeylizzie drives?

OccupytheDashboard November 4, 2011 at 2:57 pm

In this case, maybe a floppy labia?

Monsieur_Grumpe November 4, 2011 at 12:15 pm

I hope this goes to the Supreme Court because I want to hear Scalia explain what the founding fathers thought about Truck Nutz.

Gratuitous World November 4, 2011 at 12:18 pm

that's sure to be quite a mouthful

EatsBabyDingos November 4, 2011 at 12:20 pm

Especially for the teabaggers.

user-of-owls November 4, 2011 at 12:22 pm

And Clarence.

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 4, 2011 at 4:14 pm

At least he would have a nice Coke to wash it down.

prommie November 4, 2011 at 12:35 pm

You know Scalia, he thinks The Federalist Papers are part of the constitution, and you know Alexander Hamilton was in favor of including the "Freedom of the Codsack" in the Bill of Rights, so, its pretty predictable what Scalia will say.

tessiee November 4, 2011 at 11:04 pm

Also, George Washington was renowned for his wooden carriage bollocks.

Not_So_Much November 4, 2011 at 12:39 pm

Scrote v. Scotus?

SorosBot November 4, 2011 at 12:41 pm

It could produce one of the most entertaining Supreme Court opinions since Justice Souter discussed 2 Live Crew lyrics.

Dok-cupy Everything November 4, 2011 at 2:18 pm

Ever since that case established a fair-use exception for parody, I've been hoping that somebody would bring out a perfectly legal edition of Air Pirates Funnies.

flamingpdog November 4, 2011 at 1:02 pm

I would think the Founding Fathers would have spoken more directly to these.

KathrynSane November 4, 2011 at 5:11 pm

I saw the URL and was hoping so hard that these were TruckNutz for horse-drawn carriages. I guess there wouldn't be much of a market for them, since the Amish are the only people who use them anymore and something tells me they wouldn't be big fans.

tessiee November 4, 2011 at 10:30 pm

"hoping so hard that these were TruckNutz for horse-drawn carriages"

Wouldn't that be somewhat redundant?

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 4, 2011 at 1:06 pm

It is a well establish fact that the Founders rebelled against King George because of his edict against "coach conkers" in 1775. This led to the first Tea Party Rebellion, where in patriots plunged their nuts into Boston Harbor.

deanbooth November 4, 2011 at 5:01 pm

Swing free or die!

Barb November 4, 2011 at 12:16 pm

I'll give you my bumper balls when you pry them from my cold, dead hands!

hagajim November 4, 2011 at 12:16 pm

Can I dangle my balls where I would like? I would love to see those assholes on the SCOTUS rule that I can indeed dangle my balls wherever I like….as long as consent is involved of course.

Biel_ze_Bubba November 4, 2011 at 12:19 pm

You might have to get a ruling from SCROTUS.

user-of-owls November 4, 2011 at 12:17 pm

After the trial of a dead pop star's crackpot doctor, this is the most important judicial event in our republic's history.

Occupy V572 November 4, 2011 at 12:28 pm

B-but he killed Jacko!

PuckStopsHere November 4, 2011 at 12:17 pm

They can have my balls when they pry them from my cold dead fingers. Maybe. I might just want to hang on to them, even then. I'll get back to you on this.

Tundra Grifter November 4, 2011 at 12:17 pm

It still takes brass balls to sell real estate!

SoBeach November 4, 2011 at 12:18 pm

If they ban Truck Nutz the only way I'll be able to spot those people is the sticker of Calvin peeing on a Ford/Chevy logo.

Not_So_Much November 4, 2011 at 12:40 pm

Around this dystopian hellscape, Ford/Chevy and Obama as well. Also.

anniegetyerfun November 4, 2011 at 1:02 pm

I saw one with Calvin peeing on the words "Osama bin Laden". It was like they were too lazy to render his image. "Eh, fuck it," said the decal artiste. "I'm not sure that I even knows what an A-rab looks like."

hagajim November 4, 2011 at 12:18 pm

So if ABC reported this…was is George Steponnutulus who was reporting?

HalluxValgus November 4, 2011 at 12:18 pm

"eight inch life-like simulate of the male anatomy." I don't want to live in a world where 8 inch balls are considered "life like."

CapnFatback November 4, 2011 at 12:19 pm

It's like a tea bag to the eyes!

not that Dewey November 4, 2011 at 12:23 pm

You've got Long Balls, Larry!

proudgrampa November 4, 2011 at 12:50 pm

LongballsLarry will be the new name of a Wonketteer, I'll bet.

tessiee November 4, 2011 at 10:34 pm

So does Cisco Adler.

Tundra Grifter November 4, 2011 at 12:19 pm

I don't think Virginia Tice should be able to cram truck nutz down our throats. All that tea baggin' shit was bad enough.

SorosBot November 4, 2011 at 12:19 pm

This trial is totally nuts, it's balls-to-the-wall crazy.

AlterNewt November 4, 2011 at 12:30 pm

…and…SO on!!

flamingpdog November 4, 2011 at 1:05 pm

Testiclefy, brother!

tessiee November 4, 2011 at 10:49 pm

They've got the whole package.

Chichikovovich November 4, 2011 at 12:19 pm

The key point to remember is that she is hanging these Trucknutz from her pickup out of a "sincerely held religious belief or moral conviction".

user-of-owls November 4, 2011 at 12:24 pm

That's gay.

user-of-owls November 4, 2011 at 12:20 pm

I thought we settled all this with Testicles United v. Federal Erection Commission.

CapnFatback November 4, 2011 at 12:26 pm

Didn't that end with a hung jury?

user-of-owls November 4, 2011 at 12:53 pm

Yup, it was 2-2.

flamingpdog November 4, 2011 at 1:06 pm

Federal Erection Emission.

/fixed

LiveToServeYa November 4, 2011 at 2:15 pm

That was enshrined in our national Penal Code.

tessiee November 4, 2011 at 10:36 pm

"Didn't that end with a hung jury?"

Sheriff Bart's friend: They told me you was hung.
Sheriff Bart: And they was right!

chicken_thief November 4, 2011 at 12:54 pm

But that decision just dealt with the low hanging fruit and not the meat of the matter.

Chillwaver November 4, 2011 at 1:05 pm

Rod vs Chode, actually

slithytoves November 4, 2011 at 12:20 pm

She's 65 and she had these things hanging on her truck? Jesus, I'd hate to imagine what's hanging from her mouth.

user-of-owls November 4, 2011 at 12:46 pm

I think we can safely rule out teeth. My money's on "Corn Cob Pipe." I'm quaint that way.

not that Dewey November 4, 2011 at 12:21 pm

“It would seem very resonable to say they have spent more money than it is worth at this point,”

Just what is the financial worth to society of prosecuting TruckNutz? Can we even really put a price tag on this?

user-of-owls November 4, 2011 at 12:38 pm

As Jimmy Cagney would ask, "What price glory?"

tessiee November 4, 2011 at 10:38 pm

"Just what is the financial worth to society of prosecuting TruckNutz?"

Especially when you consider the value of TruckNutz to society as a warning.

WunkRocker November 4, 2011 at 12:21 pm
Pragmatist2 November 4, 2011 at 12:22 pm

I am planning to start selling Mojo Cojones, same concept just a slightly darker color.

Occupy V572 November 4, 2011 at 12:30 pm

Show us the birf certificat!

RadioOcupados November 4, 2011 at 12:22 pm

You can't yell "TRUCKNUTZ" in a crowded theater.

donner_froh November 4, 2011 at 12:22 pm

I saw a pickup truck with a "Rick Perry–Let's Fix America" bumper sticker. THAT was offensive. Truck Nutz not so much.

user-of-owls November 4, 2011 at 12:26 pm

Really, what is the difference America?

OccupytheDashboard November 4, 2011 at 12:34 pm

"Rick Perry–Let's Fix Fist America"

fixed

Chichikovovich November 4, 2011 at 12:54 pm

And by "fix" I assume he meant "cut the nuts off"?

"Rick Perry – A Veterinarian for America's Restlessness"

SmutBoffin November 4, 2011 at 12:23 pm

THIS TRIAL WILL BE LIKE 'INHERIT THE WIND' + 'A FEW GOOD MEN' * 'TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD' TO THE POWER OF 'IDIOCRACY'.

Nostrildamus November 4, 2011 at 4:23 pm

NEEDS MORE "ARISTOCRATS"!!!!

Biel_ze_Bubba November 4, 2011 at 12:23 pm

This is the state that sent Jim DeMint and Jeff Duncan to Congress … how fussy can they be about public obscenities?

Schmannnity November 4, 2011 at 12:25 pm

"free speech rights continue to hang in the balance."

Heh heh heh, she said hang.

CapnFatback November 4, 2011 at 12:25 pm

Yes, Virginia, there is a ban on balls.

Dok-cupy Everything November 4, 2011 at 2:21 pm

Upfist for scansion.

Tommmcattt November 4, 2011 at 12:28 pm

So, does this "free speech" thing of which you speak only apply to plastic testicles? 'Cuz I have a little message I'd like to deliver to Mitt Romney…

user-of-owls November 4, 2011 at 12:29 pm

People, I just want to say, you know, can't we just all get it on?

prommie November 4, 2011 at 12:30 pm

$445? Thats almost 3 months pad rent for the double-wide.

flamingpdog November 4, 2011 at 1:13 pm

Still cheaper than driving alone in the HOV lane, and mouthing off about it.

Chillwaver November 4, 2011 at 12:31 pm

Jeebus would drive around in his trucknutz-enhanced Hummer, with a shotgun in the back, and Confederate flag rear window decal.

salt_bagel November 4, 2011 at 12:32 pm

And then when they came for the truck clits, nobody said anything…

Millennial Malaise November 4, 2011 at 1:43 pm

Probably because they couldn't find them.

Generation[redacted] November 4, 2011 at 4:06 pm

Psst, dude, the canoe is up on the roof rack.

Generation[redacted] November 4, 2011 at 12:33 pm

Maybe I should re-think buying that Prius vagina.

tessiee November 4, 2011 at 10:51 pm

Or you could trade it in for a Ford Clit-Taurus.

poncho_pilot November 4, 2011 at 12:33 pm

anyway, this is fucking stupid. just let her have her fucking trucknutz. and nobody better say anything when i attach a larger-than-life size anatomically correct model of hermaphroditic human genitalia to the hood of my car or the side car that looks like a remote controlled pink dildo.

Generation[redacted] November 4, 2011 at 12:45 pm

Tranny Van FTW!

YasserArraFeck November 4, 2011 at 12:52 pm

Time for GM to release the "Ace & Gary" coupe

Toomush_Infer November 4, 2011 at 2:54 pm

Open up, Eternal Lips, and swaller me…..

OccupytheDashboard November 4, 2011 at 12:35 pm

Oh Mrs. Tice…truly your balls DO hang low.

mavenmaven November 4, 2011 at 12:38 pm

Didn't Perry say he'd be swinging those all over Washington?

Generation[redacted] November 4, 2011 at 12:46 pm

TruckNutz on every vehicle in the Presidential motorcade.

user-of-owls November 4, 2011 at 12:50 pm

And thus they join the hallowed ranks of Sweet Chariots and The Fat Tits of a Certain Nosy Cameraman.

OccupytheDashboard November 4, 2011 at 12:53 pm

Those are new to me.

flamingpdog November 4, 2011 at 1:17 pm

♪ Hang down your balls, Tom Dooley. ♪

(OK, different Carolina, but those Carolinas all look alike.)

prommie November 4, 2011 at 12:38 pm

There is an important principle at stake here, freedom of gratuitous vulgarity.

coolhandnuke November 4, 2011 at 12:38 pm

Tice is one Gamecock.

OccupytheDashboard November 4, 2011 at 12:38 pm

Ruh roh…Drivers of Dodge autos may soon be in trouble:
http://cheezburger.com/View/1757897472

user-of-owls November 4, 2011 at 12:42 pm

The legal precedent for this was settled long ago:

"Whatever hangs upon two nuts is an enemy."

YasserArraFeck November 4, 2011 at 12:48 pm

She's 65 – they're not balls, they're her tits, and she really needs a car bra.

El Pinche November 4, 2011 at 12:48 pm

Behold, Scrotvember has begun.

Generation[redacted] November 4, 2011 at 12:49 pm

'Tis the Christnutz season.

flamingpdog November 4, 2011 at 1:20 pm

Sackrilidge, good sir!

Toomush_Infer November 4, 2011 at 2:57 pm

You log…

McRibzgood November 4, 2011 at 12:48 pm

Tee-Hee

"Nutz"

Callyson November 4, 2011 at 12:48 pm

Defense attorney Scott Bischoff's office confirmed the continuance was issued at the court's request — possibly until December…Tice's case was originally scheduled to go to jury in August.
Dragging this out for months, are we? Looks like the DA is going balls – out on this case…

Dok-cupy Everything November 4, 2011 at 2:26 pm

Anticipating a hung jury

Crank_Tango November 4, 2011 at 12:49 pm

This will go down in the pantheon of great SCOTUS decisions,
TruckNutz v. Board of Education,
TruckNutz v. Wade.
TruckNutz v. Gore…

flamingpdog November 4, 2011 at 1:22 pm

Is TruckNutz v. Gore the reajudication of TruckBush v. Gore?

coolhandnuke November 4, 2011 at 12:49 pm

When this case does go to trial, I'll bet my left nut that it will end up in a hung jury.

IncenseDebate November 4, 2011 at 12:49 pm

When trucknutz are illegal, only criminals will have any balls.

chicken_thief November 4, 2011 at 12:58 pm

If Ginny had just painted a Confederate flag on the fuckers there wouldn't be an issue.

OccupytheDashboard November 4, 2011 at 1:00 pm

How do we know they're human balls anyway. They look pretty big:

Is this corporate logo next on the (ahem) chopping block?

http://ceoworld.biz/ceo/wp-content/uploads/2008/1

:::big motherfucking edit:::

kingcocrazy November 4, 2011 at 1:04 pm

Emasculating an F-150 and emasculating the First Amendment are one in the same!

comrad_darkness November 4, 2011 at 1:07 pm

Seriously, are we required to gird the testicles of dogs while walking them?

lulzmonger November 4, 2011 at 1:07 pm

OCCUPY TRUCKNUTZ!

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 4, 2011 at 1:07 pm

I keep telling them that I have a First Amendment right to hang my balls out when I go to the local park, but the cops just won't listen.

coolhandnuke November 4, 2011 at 1:08 pm

It will be a proud and victorious day in this land, when a pair of wingnutz are dangling from all of our trailer hitches.

Ancient_Hacker November 4, 2011 at 1:10 pm

Remember who else obsessed about having Non Standard Nutz (as a result of WW1 injuries)?

Chichikovovich November 4, 2011 at 1:20 pm

The name escapes me. But I do remember that one of his collaborators had two of them, but they were very small.

PubOption November 4, 2011 at 2:00 pm

And a propagandist who had no balls at all. (Sounds a bit like some talk radio 'personalities').

Mahousu November 4, 2011 at 1:21 pm

John McCain. C'mon, ask a tougher one next time.

IncenseDebate November 4, 2011 at 1:31 pm

Madalf Heatlump (Who had only one).

tessiee November 4, 2011 at 10:55 pm

Meatloaf Headlamp (who would do anything for love).

Arken November 4, 2011 at 1:13 pm

They can have my truck nutz when they repossess them from my cold, dead pickup.

OneYieldRegular November 4, 2011 at 1:15 pm

#Occupy trailer hitches!

el_donaldo November 4, 2011 at 1:28 pm

You want the TruckNutz? You can't handle the TruckNutz!

Generation[redacted] November 4, 2011 at 1:34 pm

Did you order a code blue (balls)?!

el_donaldo November 4, 2011 at 2:14 pm

My nuts, on the other hand ….

IncenseDebate November 4, 2011 at 1:28 pm

A stupid red neck society, being necessary to the humor and revulsion of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Truck Nutz, shall not be infringed.

Generation[redacted] November 4, 2011 at 1:33 pm

The Founding Fathers were talking about nutz made of wood and brass, they never envisioned the advanced synthetic materials of today. One modern day truck can carry more nutz than an entire wagon train of their time.

Redhead November 4, 2011 at 1:35 pm

Well no wonder. Wiminz aren't allowed to drive in SC.

GregComlish November 4, 2011 at 1:43 pm

"If you want a picture of the future, imagine an oversized pair of plastic novelty testicles teabagging a human face — forever"

George Orwell

Dok-cupy Everything November 4, 2011 at 2:29 pm

Two skin bad! Foreskin good!

Negropolis November 4, 2011 at 11:12 pm

I can't even begin to tell you how much you've won for that.

widestanceshakedown November 4, 2011 at 1:45 pm

Having a fake scrotum on my car = freedom.

Having a real scrotum on my chin = terrorists have won.

MrFizzy November 4, 2011 at 1:55 pm

Plastic balls hanging from a truck = pornography. W, the President bumper sticker = free speech. Something not right with this.

owhatever November 4, 2011 at 2:10 pm

Tice is a trailblazer. If she wins, I'm putting a Kortney cucumber on the hood of my car.

LiveToServeYa November 4, 2011 at 2:18 pm

Well, no wonder it was put off. 'Public obscenity' is an obvious mistake. It should be 'privates obscenity'.

cheetojeebus November 4, 2011 at 2:25 pm

It's so hard to come up with a good pun, I'm racking my brain here and I got nuttin.

widestanceshakedown November 4, 2011 at 2:31 pm

Admitting that could get you sacked.

Dok-cupy Everything November 4, 2011 at 2:33 pm

I don't know whether I'm coming or going!

Really? There's a vas deferens between the two…

cheetojeebus November 4, 2011 at 2:48 pm

I'm tellin' ya, I'm sitting here dipping my teabag in this mug and scratching my head and zilch, nadda, nulla, nuttin…

tessiee November 4, 2011 at 10:56 pm

Really? I've got a whole batch of 'em.

DemonicRage November 4, 2011 at 2:31 pm

Are most of these decorative objects manufactured in China? Just wondering.

fuflans November 4, 2011 at 2:50 pm

today, it really is a great day in south carolina.

suck on that nikki!

Generation[redacted] November 4, 2011 at 4:05 pm

Bah! Humballs!

Nostrildamus November 4, 2011 at 4:20 pm

I look forward to TLC's seven part docudrama starring Lindsay Lohan.

a_pink_poodle November 4, 2011 at 5:50 pm

I just want to take a hedge sheer to every Truck Nutz I see…

tessiee November 4, 2011 at 10:33 pm

An excellent story for Nut-vember!

Negropolis November 4, 2011 at 10:58 pm

So, let me get this straight, attaching some false balls to your truck is a vulgarity and a crime, but there is absolutely nothing vulgar about flying the confederate flag over the capitol, or having those tacky-assed confederate flag stickers plastered all over your window or bumper?

Good to know.

tessiee November 4, 2011 at 11:10 pm

It's freaking South Carolina; fake nuts are the LEAST offensive thing they drag behind trucks there.

ttommyunger November 4, 2011 at 11:34 pm

I don't know why I should be, but I'm embarrassed for everybody involved in this unseemly misadventure.

zappadoo76 November 5, 2011 at 3:19 pm

First they came for the TruckNutz, but I didn't speak out, because I didn't have any TruckNutz. Then they came for the remote-controlled dildos….

user-of-owls November 4, 2011 at 5:02 pm

I'm sorry, I didn't hear you well. Did you say he'd have a nice Koch to wash it down?

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