Are those syndicated shows like “C.O.P.S.” still a thing, with the haw-haw video of poor people committing minor property crimes or trying to take some drugs to dull the misery of existing in a rotten society? There’s still such a feature in the Bay Area, in the shitty KRON-TV local news. Let’s all have laffs about people with the wrong skin color breaking the rich man’s laws. Oh wait, this guy pulled over for being solo in the carpool lane is not having it. And why is the goddamned cop allowing this schlub to videotape someone accused of a crime? Is the cop getting a kickback? Are the slobs behind the camera sharing donuts?

“Why aren’t you videotaping what’s going on in Oakland?” Well that’s a real good question, isn’t it? Let’s see, because it’s easier to buddy up with the CHP and get some video of people freaking out over a $500 ticket. This guy driving — and owning the scumbag teevee cameraman — needs to bring the video to the courtroom, demand a judge, and demand the charges be dropped. How can anyone believe a cop when the cop is doing a show for the teevee cameraman?

Also, note the teevee cameraman being a bitch in the YouTube comments. Teevee cameramen in this country are always on the side of the cops and the bankers. [Via Gawker]

[UPDATE: Sorry, new Wonkette Junior tryout! Now it’s you. PS: It’s Tryout Week again! Send your tryout post to Editor -@t- the Wonkette, and all this/next week, we will be trying to find Kirsten a “new special friend,” again. — Ed. ]

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  • Cash4HoboBeans
    • Chichikovovich

      You make a good point. But times have changed. The well-trained professional peace officer of the 21st century is taught to always be aware of the presence of cameras, especially those creating broadcast-quality images. It never hurts to put on a generally patient, if exasperated front, since you have the jerkwad scumbag's licence number and with that you can find his address and make his life hell, outside of the unwelcome glare of recording lights.

  • I believe the Honey Badger has found his running mate. They've got my vote.

    • Negropolis

      I don't know. He doesn't strike me as someone that plays well with others. Perhaps, he would be a challenger to the Honey Badger.

    • HateMachine

      Sassy gay black youth is functionally incapable of giving a shit.

    • RadioOcupados

      15 seconds. What's with the patriotic little tree?

      • God I hate the smell of those things. Doesn't matter what color, what flavor, they all smell like shit. Especially vanilla. I like my car to smell like car, thank you.
        (Also–what does 'flag tree' smell like? Poverty?)

        • RadioOcupados


        • Hubris

    • Not_So_Much

      Honey Badger don't give a shit.

  • Negropolis

    I'm not sure what to think of this beyond the fact that I liked his flag-printed air freshener.

    BTW, "Cops" was one of the few shows on television that did not discriminate. You could see a shirtless white dude from Amarillo beating his wife and kids in one segment, a shirtless black dude from Cincinnati drug dealing in another, and yet still a shirtless Mexican from Brownsville bar brawling in another. And the assortment of skanks was just as wide and varied. A veritable rainbow of poor choices Cops is.

    • flamingpdog

      I lurved that show. My kids thought I was nuts. They were prolly right.

      • Negropolis

        'tis the guiltiest of guilty pleasures, indeed.

    • not that Dewey

      Yes, but invariably poor. One of the few examples of American teevee where the subject and the target audience actually align. The one show where the average poor slob has even odds of watching it or appearing on it. The best is when the perpetrator and/or victim of the domestic abuse has COPS on the teevee in the living room when the cops arrive.

      When we first moved to Albuquerque, we used to watch for Albuquerque COPS, which would be on quite regularly. We'd be all like "OMG I can't believe we live here it's nothing but meth addicts and tranny hookers and truck drivers in satin leopard-print thongs!"

      • HateMachine

        Seriously, now's as good a time as any to institute a white-collar COPS. Lobbyists and bankers and sales executives and lawyers and media types, all fair game.

        I eagerly look forward to the day when I can turn on the TV and see a slightly out of shape white dude with a bluetooth earpiece being pinned by the cops to the boardroom table. Somehow, via the ineffable magic of COPS, he will not be wearing a shirt.

        • Arken

          I just came. That's how much I want this show to exist.

        • not that Dewey


          To Catch a Predatory Lender

          "Hi. I'm Chris Hansen. Why don't you have a seat over here."

        • Tundra Grifter

          Rudy ran that show in NYC. He started the "Perp Walk" for white collar "crimes."

          I write "crimes" because in so many cases his much-publised arrests didn't turn into convictions.

          A precursor for his pathetic Presidential campaigns.

          • Occupy V572

            "Perp walks" are bullshit, deliberately intended to convey the appearance of guilt long before guilt has been established. Just as 9udy was able to convey the appearance of leadership when he actually contained no such quality.

    • BarackMyWorld

      It's still in production, isn't it?

      • Negropolis

        Yep, new every Saturday night. Looking back, I'm not sure why I used the tense that I did.

        • BarackMyWorld

          I wasn't sure, either.

    • RavenRant

      I worked for the company that produced 'Cops', although I worked on other shows. My favorite thing that ever happened at work was when a show was all set to air, and had to be pulled back so the online editor could franticly work to digitally scramble a face: A teeny tiny chihuahua face. Given the shaky-cam style, it was quite a challenge.

      His owner claimed he (the chihuahua) was an actor, (wasn't), and would need to be paid for his appearance.

      • RadioOcupados

        I will sit here, patiently, whilst anyone, especially someone as smart as you Raven, explains to me what exactly are the royalty and release stipulations are on inane reality shows are.

        • RavenRant

          Don't know all the legal ins and outs. I do know that people will happily sign releases for the most unbelievable things.

          The thrill of being on television apparently trumps looking like an idiot/monster/psycho on television.

          • RadioOcupados

            Do they pay the dumb bitches anything?

          • RavenRant

            Not on 'Cops'. Just the pure thrill of being in 'show business'. I think some must have the fantasy that a producer will be watching and catapult them to instant stardom.

          • Negropolis

            I always wondered what people on Cops got paid for signing the release, and now I know. I never put out of my mind that they are so attention-seekingly shallow that they'd do it for free.

          • RadioOcupados

            Thanks Raven for answering an infernal question. Vanity low IQ does it for me.

          • I have a dream that one day, rich and poor offenders alike will glory in their perp walks, and law enforcement personnel with Tase both without prejudice.

      • Negropolis

        That is just precious. lol

    • RavenRant

      Click the link. You will not regret it.

      • Negropolis

        I miss MADtv so much. My favorite Clops was the one with the Pillsbury doughboy where he threatens to bring "heaven down on their heads".

      • Occupy V572

        That was wonderful.

        • RavenRant

          That was done by a stop-motion animator named Corky Quakenbush for MadTV.

          Another dose:
          Raging Rudolph

    • Redhead

      Best COPS episode EVER:
      Cop is driving, chatting with the cameraman, when a lady waves him down.
      Lady: Off'cer, Off'cer, that lady robbed me!
      Officer: Okay ma'am, calm down, what happened?
      Lady: Off'cer, that woman stole my crack! I paid her and she won't give me my crack!
      Officer walks over to second woman, muttering "this is too easy" under his breath.
      Officer: Ma'am, this lady is saying she paid you and you refused to give her her crack. What's going on?
      Second lady: Off'cer, I ain't no crack dealer, I'm a prositute!

      • DaRooster

        "So… um… you do sell crack?"

      • Negropolis

        I so remember that one. The crackhead said that the the woman's son was a witness or something, and the mother just dismantled her ass. She was lying, of course, but it was h.i.l.a.r.i.o.u.s .

  • Ha ha.. "All you can afford is food wit yo fat lazy ass".. made my day!!

  • Sue4466

    Ooh, I smell Pulitzer.

  • ProgressiveInga

    Tickle THIS, Elmo!

  • snickersnack

    Ken, lately you have been so full of hot, seething rage that I can barely make it through one of your posts without wishing for some sexytime fun. I know you're married with kids and all that, but maybe there's a wonketter that would be interested in a 30-something married ladyw/kids, ginormous yayas, an overactive sex drive and an obsession with both hockey and John Stewart?

    • HateMachine

      I am definitely completely uninterested in that sort of thing. In fact, if you have a webcam, I would like to tell you personally how very much this doesn't pique my interest.

    • Oh yes! You sound like a dream come true! (Rolls eyes)

    • Blueb4sunrise

      Lindsey Beth Tori!!!
      Are we going to have to restrict you again?

    • WilliamHTaft

      Andrew Breitbart? Is that you? You can just tell us if you want to hang out here.

      • RavenRant

        Ginormous yayas, okay. (If yayas here refers to man boobz). But I doubt he's man enough to even watch hockey. And I am certain that Jon Stewart makes him curl into a fetal position weeping hot, bitter tears of envy and impotent rage.

        Have I mentioned that I don't much care for Big Liar?

    • Lionel[redacted]Esq

      Anthony Weiner's wife is keeping him away from you?

    • Occupy V572

      Goddamnit Joan, as soon as I get home I'm going to change the password on your computer again. This kind of behavior does not show appropriate respect for your husband.

    • Chichikovovich

      No doubt you're a real hot tamale. Hubba-hubba and all that. But c'mon – Les Habs are playing Ottawa and the Rangers this weekend. And I'm dvr'ing Toronto-Boston because the Leafs don't suck this year, and I may never see that again in my lifetime. But otherwise I'd be, like, totally there to help you out. Sorry.

    • grex1949


  • memzilla

    Needs moar white bankers in Mercedeses, getting pulled over by SWAT Teams.

  • Callyson

    Never mind the cameras, send the driver to Oakland. Bet that bastard in the Mercedes would not have gotten away last night if Mr Elmo Shirt had been there…

  • flamingpdog

    This dude is obviously not a student of Chris Rock. Fortunately for him, the cop wasn't, either.

  • Dear God,

    Please let "Bye, fat tits!" become a meme.



    • fuflans

      bay area's answer to 'sugar tits'.

  • coolhandnuke

    Needs CHiPs music and Estrada's codpiece.

  • AlterNewt

    I suddenly recall Ken's admonition to get away from the computer and take a walk outside.

  • ThundercatHo

    My favorite part is how he tells the guy, "Oh by the way the ticket is $500", hoping to get him to snap and instead the guy just gets even more fucking personal.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Yeah, that's where the guy's honey badger attitude really starts to shine through. How can you not love this guy? It's a star turn, and the sort of clip that could go viral and and land him on Leno or Letterman.

      • Occupy V572

        No, the meme-generators like stories about happy, likeable blacks, like that bum-radio-announcer a while back. Not even Trump likes The Blacks who point out socioeconomic inequality.

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          That's just it: this guy carries on in happy mode. The cop and the TV guy can't even scuff his psychic armor.

          The cop was also pretty cool (but no points for being polite with the camera running), but the TeleVermin was a jackass.

    • Tundra Grifter

      I thought that ticket was $274.

      • WootInTarnation

        It is. But cut fatass some slack, that was his shining moment of articulate, sassy glory. Every last microgram of wit, wisdom and snappy rhetorical élan was encapsulated in his stinging, insightful jab. That was his money shot. A drip. Of precum.

  • dogscantlookup

    “Why aren’t you videotaping what’s going on in Oakland?”
    'cuze inbeadedD jour1lizUmbsz!

  • flamingpdog

    WTF? Screw "Dancing With the Stars". This was the funniest video I've seen on Wonkette in months! They should sign up the driver and the cop for a sit-com immediately.

  • Buzz Feedback

    Lamar Latrell needs a carpool dummy.

  • TV of black people charged with misdemeanors? I think you've just described the basis of Andrew Breitbart's entire journalistic career.

    • RavenRant

      Did you ever see this idiot story he was peddling?

      Won't link to Not-so-Breitbart. If you have ever had the merest shred of a shadow of an doubt that he was 100% racist filth, this story will clear that problem right up.

      • MadBrahms

        Whaaaaaat. The comments are fascinating / horrifying, though, and should be used in psychology classes everywhere to discuss confirmation bias.

        • RavenRant

          Did you actually click through to Breitbart? Braver than I am.

          It’s just that the video is totally humdrum and nondescript – a Christian church group praying in exactly the same way church groups pray all over America. But because some the people are brown, it is somehow TERRIFYING! And suddenly these idolators are *gasp* PRAYING TO OBAMA!

          As I said, racist filth.

  • iburl

    Hide your kids, hide your wife and hide your husband too cuz they ticketin' errbody up in here.

  • fuflans

    bless his heart.

  • ttommyunger

    In case you didn't know, working traffic is one of the most fucked-up assignments in Law Enforcement. You are paid to be a bag-man for the government coffers and a leg-man for the insurance industry. It is a chicken-shit job which I've found only petty men can tolerate for any extended period of time. The kid was smart enough to know he wasn't going to get thumped so long as there were civilian witnesses AND cameras. He seemed bright enough; I'm betting his tone would have been totally different if it had only been mano y mano.
    ps. Betcha the kid knew his sugar daddy would pony up the five large, no sweat.

    • WootInTarnation

      Nice patronizing racism with 28 likes. You damn right he knew he could say his piece without being thumped. He assessed the situation and controlled it from beginning to end. I guess that's because he's, as you say, "bright enough." You forgot to add the requisite "and fairly articulate, if he could just work on his accent and the effeminate overtones."

      Bonus points for homophobia and a lil more racism. Because despite his enviable rhetorical skills and perfect understanding of the hypocrisy and inequity of society, he certainly couldn't have a job. Much less a job that pays enough to cover a $500 ticket without even affecting his monthly budget. Oh, well-played, sir.

      "Mano y mano." Puh-leeze. With the cameraman (who also didn't get a signed model release), and the police force behind him, Officer Fatass NEVER engages with anyone "mano y mano" in his official capacity.

  • offbrandboobs

    Needs more Mean Joe Green drinking a Coca-Cola.

    Chubby Butt, also.

  • user-of-owls

    That video is very disturbing. I wish you’d have chosen something else. I realize that it’s a shameful part of American history that we should never forget, but it’s too much.

    • fuflans

      well played owls, well played.

    • flamingpdog

      OhmiDarwin, you actually had me going there for a moment! I need some alcohol, stat.

      • not that Dewey

        Why don't you slip out of those wet clothes an into user-of-owls's sense of humor?

        • user-of-owls


    • RadioOcupados

      It's like a mouse running across an empty parking lot.

  • memzilla

    Now this would have made great COPSToob: Wanted Pa. Man Arrested Wearing 'Inmate' Costume.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Somehow that video just reminded me that Thanksgiving is only three weeks away.

  • fuflans

    can we get a picture of fat ass, fat tits? i know i'm curious to see the man who's career has just been ruined / jump-started.

  • SheriffRoscoe

    I am a cop, and you will respect my authoritah!

    • RadioOcupados

      Very power niche, Sheriff.

  • user-of-owls

    Wait! Did this cop just ticket that guy who made all those silly sound effects in the Police Academy movies?? Can he do that??

    • HistoriCat

      I'm pretty sure that the later Police Academy movies warrant more than just a ticket.

  • user-of-owls

    Attica! Attica!

    • memzilla

      Fattica! Fattica!


    • tcaalaw

      I used that line around my wife for the first time recently and ended up having to show her Dog Day Afternoon and a documentary I found on YouTube about the Attica prison riot because she did not understand either reference. (And she's two years older than I am!)

    • Occupy V572

      Nelson Rockefeller's finest moment, to be sure. Sad thing is that bastard got to die while fucking Megan Marshak instead of being locked up in one of his beloved prisons.

      • Chichikovovich

        Megan Marshak, eh? Didn't know her name before, V572, thanks for the primo quality info. Did a Google image search, of course.

        Kind of disappointing, I must say. Next time Chichikovna and I play "Nelson Rockefeller and Secretary", it won't have quite the same spice.

  • Since I am guessing this is the last thread of the day, anyone see how at least one of the terrorists (the ringleader) in that ricin plot that they arrested in Georgia was a Red State poster?

    • SayItWithWookies

      I'm more impressed that one of the conspirators was nicknamed "Cobra." Anyone who can say "Call me Cobra" with a straight face and has made it to 67 before being arrested or decapitating himself in a chainsaw accident has got to feel damn lucky.

    • RavenRant

      They also state that they were inspired (incited) by Fox News regular, Mike Vanderboegh. This is the Tea Party/militia guy who told people to smash congressional office windows. (Which they did.)

      At the time his entire income was government disability checks. I suppose Fox is throwing some money his way for his 'expertise'.

    • not that Dewey

      Their neighbors and friends, especially those at the Waffle House where they are accused of conspiring, were stunned at the unfolding events.

      Red State? check
      Waffle House? check
      Retired aerospace engineer? check

      We have a winner.

      • RavenRant


        • not that Dewey


  • I want to send him $500. Note I stipulated "want to."

    • Occupy V572

      Just post your account and ABA numbers here and it'll be taken care of!

    • Tundra Grifter

      Well, I would like to send him $500.

      I just can't afford to do it.

  • SheriffRoscoe

    Telling the cop off like that must have been deeply satisfying. Last time I got pulled over was for "rolling through" a stop sign at about 3 mph. The officer was just sitting there, slightly out of sight, Roscoe P. Coltraine style, pulling (mostly!) law-abiding, tax paying citizens over for failing to come to a complete stop, one after another; meanwhile, violent crime in the city I live in was at an all time high. But Vallejo was bankrupt then, and the city's coffers needed a quick and easy cash infusion. My fantasy would have been to have shot off a zinger or two like this kid.

    • user-of-owls

      Did the cop have fat tits?

    • Plowmon

      Daddy like to say "Antagonizing the Law is always a bad business…"

  • sezme

    Angry Blak Guy, is that you?

    • Cash4HoboBeans

      Um, I believe you mean "uppity negro"

    • Negropolis

      Did you mean Sassy Black Gay?

  • Beowoof

    I love this guy. Come on haven't you ever been pulled over and wanted to say that to the cop. And I love how he went after the cameraman. I bet the cameraman had to go to in and Out Burger just to assuage how bad this guy made him feel.

  • BarackMyWorld

    Needs less Antoine, more Dodson.

  • El Pinche

    Needs more eggs Tyrone.

  • mavenmaven

    They were hoping he was hispanic so that they could kill him on camera, just like Herman Cain suggests.

  • sati_demise

    yep, pretty soon all the fat ass cops are going to have to protect all the fat ass 'journalists' who are protecting all the fat ass plutocrats.
    Will they succeed? Who knows?

  • Streiffert

    I see a 2016 Vice Presidential candidate!

    No, not the fat ass…

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    "How can anyone believe a cop when the cop is doing a show for the teevee cameraman?"

    Umm…. maybe the teevee tape shows the guy driving in the carpool lane? That would do it.
    Seriously … the show itself is fucked up, like 90% of the crap on TV, but don't start demanding that they show only white perps. This guy's a star because of his rant, not because of his color.

  • Negropolis

    Needz moar "yo mamma" slams.

  • BlueStateLibel

    As long as we get non-stop video coverage of Le Guillotine in action, I'm fine, but until then, who watches this other crap?

  • Redhead

    Well Kristen, if you need a new "special friend," may I recommend the pink Hello Kitty dildo? It comes blessed with a special spell by Christine O'Donnell (to make sure no lesbians ever trap you in a bathroom).

  • not that Dewey

    OT: This is rich.

    Sarah Palin is criticizing Occupy Wall Street protesters as looking for the same thing as the "fat cats" they're upset with—a government bailout.

    Palin spoke to Republicans gathered for a state party fundraiser on Thursday and spent much of her time talking about the protesters.

    Palin said, "They say Wall Street fat cats got a bailout so now I want one, too. The correct answer is no one is entitled to a bailout."

    She said President Barack Obama and the Occupy Wall Street protesters share the same vision of feeling entitled to other people's productivity and money.

    Hasn't her entire existence been one long, protracted bailout? She is the Queen of "feeling entitled to other people's productivity and money". We won't even get started on what's wrong with her characterization of the protestors.

  • That makes me want to beat my TeeVee again but I'm afraid someone will video the act and put it on youtube.

    • LiveToServeYa

      There's so many new fears, these days. Youtubophobia, for instance.

  • Plowmon

    Gay black men are just precious…

  • onemoretime79

    I haven't laughed that hard at anything in quite a while.

    FAT ASS. They might not have aired that on their teevee show but I am damn glad you got ahold of it so I could see that take down. I gotta see that, again.

  • Tundra Grifter

    KRON was once a decent station. Then new ownership gambled on dropping its network affiliation and getting another. They only accomplished half that plan – and now they are stuck in independent limbo, running infomercials and scraping bye.

    This is the sort of local "news" station that sends just one person to cover a story (guess the camera guy is busy riding around with cops). So the talking head on the scene has to set up her or his own camera, go stand in front of it, and basically take his or her own photo like a tourist at Yosemite.

    • TitsOccupado

      No longer NBC, I take it? Early memory was the clock on the Ferry Building ticking up to 5:00, the whistle sounding, and we knew it was time for the news…

    • Is this the station with the weird phallic symbol on their logo?

  • mayor_quimby

    I think this was originally was on, as in illustration of BMW drivers generally being dicks. Which is a fact.
    Dude proved it by being mad he got pulled over for being a solo driver in an HOV-3 lane, which is a dick move, as was his 'I can afford it, I don't care' attitude.

  • When did Ludacris come out?!

  • owhatever

    The driver was wrong, the cop was wrong and the television station should have gotten the fine. TV makes its own news.

  • sezme

    Later, President Obama sat down and had a beer with the cop, the cameraman, and Professor Gates.

    • Negropolis

      That is so full of win…

  • Clean and articulate!

  • dennis1943

    A cop pulled me over on my way home one night. I looked in my rearview mirror and beheld a cruiser fishtailing through the intersection lights flashing, siren wailing. I immediately pulled to the side to let him pass only he was after me.He asked me if i had been drinking and i said "not since the 70s".He knew he had me then,triumphantly thrusting the breathalyzer in my face and announcing "well i guess you wouldn't mind blowing into this".So i did.And it read "zero".He looked at the device,staring in disbelief.And said "one more time".Same result.And so i said ' I find your diligence heartening,keep up the good work"…….and drove off with him still staring…….. :-)

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