local teevee news

Are We Done With TV of Black People Charged With Misdemeanors Now?

Are those syndicated shows like “C.O.P.S.” still a thing, with the haw-haw video of poor people committing minor property crimes or trying to take some drugs to dull the misery of existing in a rotten society? There’s still such a feature in the Bay Area, in the shitty KRON-TV local news. Let’s all have laffs about people with the wrong skin color breaking the rich man’s laws. Oh wait, this guy pulled over for being solo in the carpool lane is not having it. And why is the goddamned cop allowing this schlub to videotape someone accused of a crime? Is the cop getting a kickback? Are the slobs behind the camera sharing donuts?

“Why aren’t you videotaping what’s going on in Oakland?” Well that’s a real good question, isn’t it? Let’s see, because it’s easier to buddy up with the CHP and get some video of people freaking out over a $500 ticket. This guy driving — and owning the scumbag teevee cameraman — needs to bring the video to the courtroom, demand a judge, and demand the charges be dropped. How can anyone believe a cop when the cop is doing a show for the teevee cameraman?

Also, note the teevee cameraman being a bitch in the YouTube comments. Teevee cameramen in this country are always on the side of the cops and the bankers. [Via Gawker]

[UPDATE: Sorry, new Wonkette Junior tryout! Now it’s you. PS: It’s Tryout Week again! Send your tryout post to Editor -@t- the Wonkette, and all this/next week, we will be trying to find Kirsten a “new special friend,” again. — Ed. ]

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    1. Chichikovovich

      You make a good point. But times have changed. The well-trained professional peace officer of the 21st century is taught to always be aware of the presence of cameras, especially those creating broadcast-quality images. It never hurts to put on a generally patient, if exasperated front, since you have the jerkwad scumbag's licence number and with that you can find his address and make his life hell, outside of the unwelcome glare of recording lights.

    1. Negropolis

      I don't know. He doesn't strike me as someone that plays well with others. Perhaps, he would be a challenger to the Honey Badger.

      1. ShitFilledExistence

        God I hate the smell of those things. Doesn't matter what color, what flavor, they all smell like shit. Especially vanilla. I like my car to smell like car, thank you.
        (Also–what does 'flag tree' smell like? Poverty?)

  1. Negropolis

    I'm not sure what to think of this beyond the fact that I liked his flag-printed air freshener.

    BTW, "Cops" was one of the few shows on television that did not discriminate. You could see a shirtless white dude from Amarillo beating his wife and kids in one segment, a shirtless black dude from Cincinnati drug dealing in another, and yet still a shirtless Mexican from Brownsville bar brawling in another. And the assortment of skanks was just as wide and varied. A veritable rainbow of poor choices Cops is.

    1. not that Dewey

      Yes, but invariably poor. One of the few examples of American teevee where the subject and the target audience actually align. The one show where the average poor slob has even odds of watching it or appearing on it. The best is when the perpetrator and/or victim of the domestic abuse has COPS on the teevee in the living room when the cops arrive.

      When we first moved to Albuquerque, we used to watch for Albuquerque COPS, which would be on quite regularly. We'd be all like "OMG I can't believe we live here it's nothing but meth addicts and tranny hookers and truck drivers in satin leopard-print thongs!"

      1. HateMachine

        Seriously, now's as good a time as any to institute a white-collar COPS. Lobbyists and bankers and sales executives and lawyers and media types, all fair game.

        I eagerly look forward to the day when I can turn on the TV and see a slightly out of shape white dude with a bluetooth earpiece being pinned by the cops to the boardroom table. Somehow, via the ineffable magic of COPS, he will not be wearing a shirt.

        1. not that Dewey


          To Catch a Predatory Lender

          "Hi. I'm Chris Hansen. Why don't you have a seat over here."

        2. Tundra Grifter

          Rudy ran that show in NYC. He started the "Perp Walk" for white collar "crimes."

          I write "crimes" because in so many cases his much-publised arrests didn't turn into convictions.

          A precursor for his pathetic Presidential campaigns.

          1. Occupy V572

            "Perp walks" are bullshit, deliberately intended to convey the appearance of guilt long before guilt has been established. Just as 9udy was able to convey the appearance of leadership when he actually contained no such quality.

    2. RavenRant

      I worked for the company that produced 'Cops', although I worked on other shows. My favorite thing that ever happened at work was when a show was all set to air, and had to be pulled back so the online editor could franticly work to digitally scramble a face: A teeny tiny chihuahua face. Given the shaky-cam style, it was quite a challenge.

      His owner claimed he (the chihuahua) was an actor, (wasn't), and would need to be paid for his appearance.

      1. RadioOcupados

        I will sit here, patiently, whilst anyone, especially someone as smart as you Raven, explains to me what exactly are the royalty and release stipulations are on inane reality shows are.

        1. RavenRant

          Don't know all the legal ins and outs. I do know that people will happily sign releases for the most unbelievable things.

          The thrill of being on television apparently trumps looking like an idiot/monster/psycho on television.

          1. RavenRant

            Not on 'Cops'. Just the pure thrill of being in 'show business'. I think some must have the fantasy that a producer will be watching and catapult them to instant stardom.

          2. Negropolis

            I always wondered what people on Cops got paid for signing the release, and now I know. I never put out of my mind that they are so attention-seekingly shallow that they'd do it for free.

      1. Negropolis

        I miss MADtv so much. My favorite Clops was the one with the Pillsbury doughboy where he threatens to bring "heaven down on their heads".

    3. Redhead

      Best COPS episode EVER:
      Cop is driving, chatting with the cameraman, when a lady waves him down.
      Lady: Off'cer, Off'cer, that lady robbed me!
      Officer: Okay ma'am, calm down, what happened?
      Lady: Off'cer, that woman stole my crack! I paid her and she won't give me my crack!
      Officer walks over to second woman, muttering "this is too easy" under his breath.
      Officer: Ma'am, this lady is saying she paid you and you refused to give her her crack. What's going on?
      Second lady: Off'cer, I ain't no crack dealer, I'm a prositute!

      1. Negropolis

        I so remember that one. The crackhead said that the the woman's son was a witness or something, and the mother just dismantled her ass. She was lying, of course, but it was h.i.l.a.r.i.o.u.s .

  2. snickersnack

    Ken, lately you have been so full of hot, seething rage that I can barely make it through one of your posts without wishing for some sexytime fun. I know you're married with kids and all that, but maybe there's a wonketter that would be interested in a 30-something married ladyw/kids, ginormous yayas, an overactive sex drive and an obsession with both hockey and John Stewart?

    1. HateMachine

      I am definitely completely uninterested in that sort of thing. In fact, if you have a webcam, I would like to tell you personally how very much this doesn't pique my interest.

      1. RavenRant

        Ginormous yayas, okay. (If yayas here refers to man boobz). But I doubt he's man enough to even watch hockey. And I am certain that Jon Stewart makes him curl into a fetal position weeping hot, bitter tears of envy and impotent rage.

        Have I mentioned that I don't much care for Big Liar?

    2. Occupy V572

      Goddamnit Joan, as soon as I get home I'm going to change the password on your computer again. This kind of behavior does not show appropriate respect for your husband.

    3. Chichikovovich

      No doubt you're a real hot tamale. Hubba-hubba and all that. But c'mon – Les Habs are playing Ottawa and the Rangers this weekend. And I'm dvr'ing Toronto-Boston because the Leafs don't suck this year, and I may never see that again in my lifetime. But otherwise I'd be, like, totally there to help you out. Sorry.

  3. Callyson

    Never mind the cameras, send the driver to Oakland. Bet that bastard in the Mercedes would not have gotten away last night if Mr Elmo Shirt had been there…

  4. ThundercatHo

    My favorite part is how he tells the guy, "Oh by the way the ticket is $500", hoping to get him to snap and instead the guy just gets even more fucking personal.

    1. Biel_ze_Bubba

      Yeah, that's where the guy's honey badger attitude really starts to shine through. How can you not love this guy? It's a star turn, and the sort of clip that could go viral and and land him on Leno or Letterman.

      1. Occupy V572

        No, the meme-generators like stories about happy, likeable blacks, like that bum-radio-announcer a while back. Not even Trump likes The Blacks who point out socioeconomic inequality.

        1. Biel_ze_Bubba

          That's just it: this guy carries on in happy mode. The cop and the TV guy can't even scuff his psychic armor.

          The cop was also pretty cool (but no points for being polite with the camera running), but the TeleVermin was a jackass.

      1. WootInTarnation

        It is. But cut fatass some slack, that was his shining moment of articulate, sassy glory. Every last microgram of wit, wisdom and snappy rhetorical élan was encapsulated in his stinging, insightful jab. That was his money shot. A drip. Of precum.

  5. dogscantlookup

    “Why aren’t you videotaping what’s going on in Oakland?”
    'cuze inbeadedD jour1lizUmbsz!

  6. flamingpdog

    WTF? Screw "Dancing With the Stars". This was the funniest video I've seen on Wonkette in months! They should sign up the driver and the cop for a sit-com immediately.

      1. MadBrahms

        Whaaaaaat. The comments are fascinating / horrifying, though, and should be used in psychology classes everywhere to discuss confirmation bias.

        1. RavenRant

          Did you actually click through to Breitbart? Braver than I am.

          It’s just that the video is totally humdrum and nondescript – a Christian church group praying in exactly the same way church groups pray all over America. But because some the people are brown, it is somehow TERRIFYING! And suddenly these idolators are *gasp* PRAYING TO OBAMA!

          As I said, racist filth.

  7. ttommyunger

    In case you didn't know, working traffic is one of the most fucked-up assignments in Law Enforcement. You are paid to be a bag-man for the government coffers and a leg-man for the insurance industry. It is a chicken-shit job which I've found only petty men can tolerate for any extended period of time. The kid was smart enough to know he wasn't going to get thumped so long as there were civilian witnesses AND cameras. He seemed bright enough; I'm betting his tone would have been totally different if it had only been mano y mano.
    ps. Betcha the kid knew his sugar daddy would pony up the five large, no sweat.

    1. WootInTarnation

      Nice patronizing racism with 28 likes. You damn right he knew he could say his piece without being thumped. He assessed the situation and controlled it from beginning to end. I guess that's because he's, as you say, "bright enough." You forgot to add the requisite "and fairly articulate, if he could just work on his accent and the effeminate overtones."

      Bonus points for homophobia and a lil more racism. Because despite his enviable rhetorical skills and perfect understanding of the hypocrisy and inequity of society, he certainly couldn't have a job. Much less a job that pays enough to cover a $500 ticket without even affecting his monthly budget. Oh, well-played, sir.

      "Mano y mano." Puh-leeze. With the cameraman (who also didn't get a signed model release), and the police force behind him, Officer Fatass NEVER engages with anyone "mano y mano" in his official capacity.

  8. user-of-owls

    That video is very disturbing. I wish you’d have chosen something else. I realize that it’s a shameful part of American history that we should never forget, but it’s too much.

  9. fuflans

    can we get a picture of fat ass, fat tits? i know i'm curious to see the man who's career has just been ruined / jump-started.

    1. tcaalaw

      I used that line around my wife for the first time recently and ended up having to show her Dog Day Afternoon and a documentary I found on YouTube about the Attica prison riot because she did not understand either reference. (And she's two years older than I am!)

      1. Chichikovovich

        Megan Marshak, eh? Didn't know her name before, V572, thanks for the primo quality info. Did a Google image search, of course.

        Kind of disappointing, I must say. Next time Chichikovna and I play "Nelson Rockefeller and Secretary", it won't have quite the same spice.

    1. SayItWithWookies

      I'm more impressed that one of the conspirators was nicknamed "Cobra." Anyone who can say "Call me Cobra" with a straight face and has made it to 67 before being arrested or decapitating himself in a chainsaw accident has got to feel damn lucky.

    2. RavenRant

      They also state that they were inspired (incited) by Fox News regular, Mike Vanderboegh. This is the Tea Party/militia guy who told people to smash congressional office windows. (Which they did.)

      At the time his entire income was government disability checks. I suppose Fox is throwing some money his way for his 'expertise'.

    3. not that Dewey

      Their neighbors and friends, especially those at the Waffle House where they are accused of conspiring, were stunned at the unfolding events.

      Red State? check
      Waffle House? check
      Retired aerospace engineer? check

      We have a winner.

  10. SheriffRoscoe

    Telling the cop off like that must have been deeply satisfying. Last time I got pulled over was for "rolling through" a stop sign at about 3 mph. The officer was just sitting there, slightly out of sight, Roscoe P. Coltraine style, pulling (mostly!) law-abiding, tax paying citizens over for failing to come to a complete stop, one after another; meanwhile, violent crime in the city I live in was at an all time high. But Vallejo was bankrupt then, and the city's coffers needed a quick and easy cash infusion. My fantasy would have been to have shot off a zinger or two like this kid.

  11. Beowoof

    I love this guy. Come on haven't you ever been pulled over and wanted to say that to the cop. And I love how he went after the cameraman. I bet the cameraman had to go to in and Out Burger just to assuage how bad this guy made him feel.

  12. mavenmaven

    They were hoping he was hispanic so that they could kill him on camera, just like Herman Cain suggests.

  13. sati_demise

    yep, pretty soon all the fat ass cops are going to have to protect all the fat ass 'journalists' who are protecting all the fat ass plutocrats.
    Will they succeed? Who knows?

  14. Biel_ze_Bubba

    "How can anyone believe a cop when the cop is doing a show for the teevee cameraman?"

    Umm…. maybe the teevee tape shows the guy driving in the carpool lane? That would do it.
    Seriously … the show itself is fucked up, like 90% of the crap on TV, but don't start demanding that they show only white perps. This guy's a star because of his rant, not because of his color.

  15. BlueStateLibel

    As long as we get non-stop video coverage of Le Guillotine in action, I'm fine, but until then, who watches this other crap?

  16. Redhead

    Well Kristen, if you need a new "special friend," may I recommend the pink Hello Kitty dildo? It comes blessed with a special spell by Christine O'Donnell (to make sure no lesbians ever trap you in a bathroom).

  17. not that Dewey

    OT: This is rich.

    Sarah Palin is criticizing Occupy Wall Street protesters as looking for the same thing as the "fat cats" they're upset with—a government bailout.

    Palin spoke to Republicans gathered for a state party fundraiser on Thursday and spent much of her time talking about the protesters.

    Palin said, "They say Wall Street fat cats got a bailout so now I want one, too. The correct answer is no one is entitled to a bailout."

    She said President Barack Obama and the Occupy Wall Street protesters share the same vision of feeling entitled to other people's productivity and money.

    Hasn't her entire existence been one long, protracted bailout? She is the Queen of "feeling entitled to other people's productivity and money". We won't even get started on what's wrong with her characterization of the protestors.

  18. onemoretime79

    I haven't laughed that hard at anything in quite a while.

    FAT ASS. They might not have aired that on their teevee show but I am damn glad you got ahold of it so I could see that take down. I gotta see that, again.

  19. Tundra Grifter

    KRON was once a decent station. Then new ownership gambled on dropping its network affiliation and getting another. They only accomplished half that plan – and now they are stuck in independent limbo, running infomercials and scraping bye.

    This is the sort of local "news" station that sends just one person to cover a story (guess the camera guy is busy riding around with cops). So the talking head on the scene has to set up her or his own camera, go stand in front of it, and basically take his or her own photo like a tourist at Yosemite.

    1. TitsOccupado

      No longer NBC, I take it? Early memory was the clock on the Ferry Building ticking up to 5:00, the whistle sounding, and we knew it was time for the news…

  20. mayor_quimby

    I think this was originally was on Jalopnik.com, as in illustration of BMW drivers generally being dicks. Which is a fact.
    Dude proved it by being mad he got pulled over for being a solo driver in an HOV-3 lane, which is a dick move, as was his 'I can afford it, I don't care' attitude.

  21. owhatever

    The driver was wrong, the cop was wrong and the television station should have gotten the fine. TV makes its own news.

  22. dennis1943

    A cop pulled me over on my way home one night. I looked in my rearview mirror and beheld a cruiser fishtailing through the intersection lights flashing, siren wailing. I immediately pulled to the side to let him pass only he was after me.He asked me if i had been drinking and i said "not since the 70s".He knew he had me then,triumphantly thrusting the breathalyzer in my face and announcing "well i guess you wouldn't mind blowing into this".So i did.And it read "zero".He looked at the device,staring in disbelief.And said "one more time".Same result.And so i said ' I find your diligence heartening,keep up the good work"…….and drove off with him still staring…….. :-)

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