FAIL MONSTERS  10:29 am November 3, 2011

Rick Scott Has No Idea Where This ‘Tampa Bay’ Place Is

by Kirsten Boyd Johnson

Don't even bother trying to ask him where Georgia is.Further proof Rick Scott is a demon robot from outer space: he has not yet not learned where one of the major urban areas in the state he governs is, because he arrived in Florida from his desolate home asteroid-space landfill too recently. When reporters from the St. Petersburg Times mentioned to him that the newspaper will soon change its name to the Tampa Bay Times to reflect the larger area that the paper now covers, Rick droned back in his hollow nasal way, “Does the region call itself the Tampa Bay region? Is that what it calls itself? The region does?” Uhhh.

Tampa Bay encompasses Tampa, St. Petersburg and Clearwater and is the state’s second-largest metropolitan area. His insane comment delivered with questionable English has a few people wondering whether or not he could possibly be quite this stupid. The official verdict is that, yes, probably yes.

From WTSP.com:

Steve Bousquet, the Tallahassee Bureau Chief for the St. Petersburg Times, tells 10 News he and others were surprised by Scott’s answer.

“No he was not joking. He seemed to be a little bit unfamiliar with the term,” Bousquet said.

The Governor’s answer also surprised others after hearing about his response.

“It’s not something we can just laugh off,” Tampa council member Frank Reddick said. “I think the governor needs to go get a history lesson,” he added.

(A history lesson?) Anyway, maybe not laugh off, but certainly is the kind of thing we can, and must, laugh at. [WTSP.com]

 
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{ 239 comments }

WhatTheHolyHeck November 3, 2011 at 10:33 am

“I think the governor needs to go get a history lesson,”

Or maybe, you know, a geography lesson. Oh, Florida.

DaRooster November 3, 2011 at 10:37 am

(note to self… *F5* to refresh…)

WhatTheHolyHeck November 3, 2011 at 11:40 am

Well, you did use the word "taint" and that should count for something.

The only image I could manage to invoke was that of the entire state of Florida grasping desperately to under-perform Mississ-iss-issippi-ippistan in education.

iburl November 3, 2011 at 11:26 am

Or maybe a brain implant.

HogeyeGrex November 3, 2011 at 11:40 am

Or a biology lesson.

Oh, Tampa Bay. America's Frenulum.

Mort_Sinclair November 3, 2011 at 12:15 pm

Fun! We can have a list!

Florida: America's gangrenous appendix!

Generation[redacted] November 3, 2011 at 11:51 am

As long as it's not anthropology.

Omophagist November 3, 2011 at 12:39 pm

Give him a break, the guy was probably high on meth, which from what I understand is what 95% of the non-geriatric population of Florida is high on at any given time.

Generation[redacted] November 3, 2011 at 1:11 pm

Everyone except the welfare recipients. They're clean.

Pragmatist2 November 3, 2011 at 10:33 am

"is that near Tampa-tampa-tampa-tampastan?" responded Herman Cain when the matter was raised with him. "Some hot women down there, I hear."

chicken_thief November 3, 2011 at 10:42 am

And then, putting his hand under his chin, showed about how tall they were compared to his wife.

GunToting[Redacted] November 3, 2011 at 10:33 am

Actually, Frank, what the governor needs is a GEOGRAPHY lesson. And a good solid kick in the taint.

GuanoFaucet November 3, 2011 at 10:34 am

Ugly, evil and stupid is no way to go through life, Rick.

bureaucrap November 3, 2011 at 11:29 am

But he's rich as $#!^, and that makes up for a great multitude of sins.

emmelemm November 3, 2011 at 2:24 pm

Seems to be working well for him so far.

slithytoves November 3, 2011 at 10:34 am

I think the governor needs to go get a history lesson

He can't get a history lesson because he fired all the historians along with the anthropologists and archaeologists, and apparently, geographers.

Chillwaver November 3, 2011 at 10:41 am

All branches of science have a well-known liberal bias, don't you know?

CZL November 3, 2011 at 10:45 am

Even Creation Science?

Chichikovovich November 3, 2011 at 10:48 am

That's science fiction.

ShaveTheWhales November 3, 2011 at 12:20 pm

Science fiction LIBEL!!

TitsOccupado November 3, 2011 at 12:15 pm

Especially cartography, these days.

natoslug November 3, 2011 at 1:07 pm

Rick's cancelling South Park? The bastard!

MegPasadena November 3, 2011 at 12:56 pm

That's why he fired all the scholars who know and teach about things.
This way soon nobody will realize that he always says dumb things.

DaRooster November 3, 2011 at 10:35 am

"I think the governor needs to go get a history lesson…”
"… and a Geography lesson… and some lessons on manners… he could stand to learn some math (since you know… people on welfare can't afford their own urine tests), throw some science in there… and round it off with just a plain ol' "I'm gonna teach you a lesson ya maggot." lessons."

BaldarTFlagass November 3, 2011 at 11:08 am

Ethics.

proudgrampa November 3, 2011 at 11:42 am

Given the current crop of Republicans / Tea Partiers / Right Wing Slobs, I am convinced that Ethics is an elective they would never take.

ifthethunderdontgetya November 3, 2011 at 10:36 am

“I think the governor needs to go get a history lesson,” he added.

He needs a lesson, all right. I think the prison term he somehow avoided with his Medicare scam would be a great start.
~

Monsieur_Grumpe November 3, 2011 at 10:36 am

Someone needs a drug test.

Occupy V572 November 3, 2011 at 10:37 am

He could get an employee discount!

Chillwaver November 3, 2011 at 10:36 am

You know how else can't answer basic geography questions?

Occupy V572 November 3, 2011 at 10:37 am

Chimpy, certainly.

ifthethunderdontgetya November 3, 2011 at 10:40 am

teabaggers and their pretzeldential candidates?
~

SorosBot November 3, 2011 at 10:44 am

Christopher Columbus?

donner_froh November 3, 2011 at 10:46 am

Douglas "Wrong Way" Corrigan?

DaRooster November 3, 2011 at 10:47 am

95% of US citizens?

(we are the 5%)

WhatTheHolyHeck November 3, 2011 at 10:58 am

Caitlin Upton.

It's not her fault, though. Some US Americans can't afford maps.

DaRooster November 3, 2011 at 11:06 am

And such…

Occupy V572 November 3, 2011 at 12:56 pm

Consider, though, her other virtues

Moonbatting Average November 3, 2011 at 1:05 pm

Woah there! Don't confuse Kate Upton with Caitlin Upton! The comely lass you linked to is the former, and indeed quite "virtuous".

Occupy V572 November 3, 2011 at 1:14 pm

Google did it!

Spurning Beer November 3, 2011 at 11:06 am

The residents of You-becky-becky-becky-stan-stan?

BaldarTFlagass November 3, 2011 at 11:09 am

The country of Africa?

memzilla November 3, 2011 at 11:15 am

The Wasilla Rain Forest Products Association?

Not_So_Much November 3, 2011 at 11:17 am

Lou Sara?

anniegetyerfun November 3, 2011 at 11:33 am

Hitler? Assuming he really IS dead, I mean, and not actually living in Florida, hidden among the elderly Jews.

WhatTheHeck November 3, 2011 at 11:50 am

But he sure knew his weather:
“Springtime for Hitler ünd Germany. Winter for Poland ünd Hungary.”

HistoriCat November 3, 2011 at 11:56 am

Fox News?

Mort_Sinclair November 3, 2011 at 12:17 pm

Glenn Beck who thinks the state of New York is Egypt, cf, Wonkette 2/7/11: http://wonkette.com/437268/fox-news-geography-egy

TitsOccupado November 3, 2011 at 12:21 pm

That depends on whether Tampa Bay is a country or a continent.

mrpuma2u November 3, 2011 at 3:00 pm

You can see Cuba from there, I heard

Kakkeltje November 3, 2011 at 12:48 pm

I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because, uh, some . . . people out there in our nation don't have maps and, uh, I believe that our, uh, education like such as in South Africa and, uh, the Iraq, everywhere like such as, and, I believe that they should, our education over HERE in the U.S. should help the U.S., uh, or, uh, should help South Africa and should help the Iraq and the Asian countries, so we will be able to build up our future, for our children

Callyson November 3, 2011 at 12:50 pm

Herman Cain?

RadioOcupados November 3, 2011 at 12:53 pm

Carmen San Diego?

Generation[redacted] November 3, 2011 at 5:25 pm

Where the fuck IS she???!

horsedreamer_1 November 3, 2011 at 12:59 pm

Rosie Ruiz?

Negropolis November 3, 2011 at 11:42 pm

Jessica Simpson?

Occupy V572 November 3, 2011 at 10:36 am

I was okay with everything he's done up until now, but not knowing the designation for the second largest SMA in Florida is obviously an impeachable offense.

donner_froh November 3, 2011 at 10:37 am

“Does the region call itself the Tampa Bay region? Is that what it calls itself? The region does?”

A self-aware "region" (whatever that means on his home galaxy) is something not seen before on the planet earth.

NorthStarSpanx November 3, 2011 at 12:37 pm

“Does the region call itself the Tampa Bay region? Is that what it calls itself? The region does? The region? The."

. . .and then he sputtered out on that train of thought.

ibwilliamsi November 3, 2011 at 11:00 pm

Regions on his planet have mouths and speak.

ifthethunderdontgetya November 3, 2011 at 10:37 am

Further proof Rick Scott is a demon robot from outer space

I believe he is a Reptiloid, Kirsten.

"Reptiloids are people, my friend. LIZARD PEOPLE!"

- Mittens

proudgrampa November 3, 2011 at 11:33 am

Hmmmm. He's not in the Wikipedia list of reptilian humanoids:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_reptilian_hu

Oversight?

HistoriCat November 3, 2011 at 12:04 pm

Oversight?

Cover-up.

ifthethunderdontgetya November 3, 2011 at 12:11 pm

Wiki can be whacky.

Dalton McGuinty an "evil reptilian kitten-eater from another planet".

Said the blind man, don't you see?
~

Mumbletypeg November 3, 2011 at 10:37 am

In other news: Governor McDonnell registers surprise regarding a region in VA he's barely acquainted with: "what, they don't grow apples exclusively in Apple-achia?"

Guppy November 3, 2011 at 12:15 pm

I thought it was the continent of Apple Asia.

Chichikovovich November 3, 2011 at 10:37 am

For most people, this would be embarrassing. For Rick Scott, it might be the least stupid thing he's done all year.

Biel_ze_Bubba November 3, 2011 at 10:38 am

If I lived in the Tampa Bay region, I'd be perfectlly happy if Rick Scott remained ignorant of the location (and perhaps the very existence) of the place.

Because I hate those "uh-oh … that's not a moon" moments.

MittsHairHelmet November 3, 2011 at 10:39 am

I bet he doesn't even know Jacksonville is in FL.

Negropolis November 3, 2011 at 11:46 pm

Nobody does, not even Floridians. I tell you, that has to be one of the most forgotten, most faceless metropolitan areas in the country.

mrblifil November 3, 2011 at 10:40 am

Translation: Panhandle or GTFO.

chicken_thief November 3, 2011 at 10:41 am

Christopher Columbus?

Why is this here as well as under "You know how else can't answer basic geography questions? " where it really belongs?!

RedneckMuslin November 3, 2011 at 12:07 pm

It's sponsored by Queen Isabella and King Ferdinand?

Guppy November 3, 2011 at 12:16 pm

Premature commentation. You just got too excited is all.

donner_froh November 3, 2011 at 10:41 am

Scott doesn't need a history or geography class. He needs a Fuck You, Governor Please Get Cancer of the Asshole class

Joshua Norton November 3, 2011 at 10:41 am

Rainman without the math skills.

GuanoFaucet November 3, 2011 at 10:59 am

"I'm an excellent governor."

LesBontemps November 3, 2011 at 1:03 pm

And so say all his letters to the editor, also too.

Negropolis November 3, 2011 at 11:47 pm

Oh, I don't know about that. He seems to have calculated how to get a shitload of money into his pockets at his previous jobs.

FakaktaSouth November 3, 2011 at 10:42 am

"arrived in Florida from his desolate home asteroid-space landfill too recently"

Lordy lordy poor old beat up on Texas… (you know, where he made his billions off of Medicare fraud before moving to Florida to be closer to his, um, customer base. fuckerfuckerfuckerfucker)

prommie November 3, 2011 at 11:04 am

You're so cute when you are all angry and frustrated at the injustice and misery in the world.

FakaktaSouth November 4, 2011 at 12:12 am

Oh man I missed you today. I got my ass kicked by GUYS for making light of fucking for money, cause I'm a sexist. It was like 1990 all over again when this GUY (who was trying to get in my pants for christs sake) was all offended AT ME when I thought the RHCP song "party on your pussy" was a hilarious compliment and he thought I was insensitive to ? I dunno? Women with over partied upon vaginal regions? Anyway. I'm gonna start telling black people all about how bad racism is.

chicken_thief November 3, 2011 at 10:43 am

I'd hit that. No. Really. I'd hit that fucker.

FNMA November 3, 2011 at 10:53 am

Looks like someone already did. With a shovel.

proudgrampa November 3, 2011 at 11:17 am

That, or a baseball bat.

iburl November 3, 2011 at 11:43 am

…or a water balloon full of Nair.

Negropolis November 3, 2011 at 11:47 pm

I'd hit it, too. With an East Bay-registered Mercedes Benz, I would.

GuanoFaucet November 3, 2011 at 10:44 am

Well, to be fair, the Koch brothers don't pay Scott to think.

DaRooster November 3, 2011 at 11:09 am

So, they're getting their monies worth.

Negropolis November 3, 2011 at 11:48 pm

Well, they sure as hell don't pay him to look pretty, so what is he good for?

orygoon November 3, 2011 at 10:44 am

We laugh. But isn't it Florida's voters that need to take a fucking test?

DaRooster November 3, 2011 at 10:49 am

Well given their voting skills… they gotta be high.

SorosBot November 3, 2011 at 10:46 am

If no one refers to the Tampa Bay region, then how do you explain the existence of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and Devil Rays?

Chet Kincaid November 3, 2011 at 10:57 am

"Devil Rays" was a great name, they should have kept it. Dumb-ass fundies.

SorosBot November 3, 2011 at 11:06 am

Fundies can ruin everything, even baseball. Of course this is a team that wasn't able to sell out during the fucking World Series.

paris biltong November 3, 2011 at 11:24 am

They should rename themselves the Jesus Rays. Voila!

Chet Kincaid November 3, 2011 at 11:33 am

The Sun-Beams, as in "Jesus Wants Me For A…"

prommie November 3, 2011 at 11:25 am

Wasn't the stadium Hoverround-accesible? The "Tampa Bay Area" is one of the universe's foulest assholes. This is a place where there truly is no "there." It is a desolate wasteland of the decrepit and tawdry and tacky and chintzy, mixed with shitty and stupid.

SorosBot November 3, 2011 at 11:31 am

It's an asshole in the middle of a wang? I didn't know that was biologically possible.

As the home of Scientology, though, Clearwater's got to have loads of gullible moronic douchebags.

not that Dewey November 3, 2011 at 11:50 am

They ruined this perfectly good U.S. Highway, too.

But the power of college football/basketball must trump even the power of Jesus (even in Arizona!), because Arizona State University still has the Sun Devils.

BaldarTFlagass November 3, 2011 at 12:10 pm

Hockey too (New Jersey).

ThundercatHo November 3, 2011 at 10:47 am

Could somebody please take him back to his mother ship or at least shove him back into his pod?

proudgrampa November 3, 2011 at 11:19 am

Where is Harry Potter when we need him?

Terry November 3, 2011 at 10:48 am

Doesn't he watch football either? There is a team called the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, for heaven's sake.

EatsBabyDingos November 3, 2011 at 10:52 am

Probably thinks the team was named for $1.00 corn, because its a buck an ear.

proudgrampa November 3, 2011 at 11:49 am

I see what you did there.

TitsOccupado November 3, 2011 at 12:44 pm

Most people keep their buckin' ears under their buckin' hat.

justkillmenow November 3, 2011 at 1:35 pm

Well, kind of…

DerrickWildcat November 3, 2011 at 10:48 am

Well it's a bit confusing. It was St. Petersburg…then Petrograd and then Leningrad and then back to St. Petersburg and then they opened a new St. Petersburg in Florida which is now Tampa.

chicken_thief November 3, 2011 at 11:23 am

Like Scott would know all that. Unless he had a Medicaid scam center there, that is.

BaldarTFlagass November 3, 2011 at 12:11 pm

St Petersburg, FL – The City of the Living Dead.

Fare la Volpe November 3, 2011 at 12:54 pm

And I hear that Istanbul was Constantinople. Now it's Istanbul, not Constantinople.

horsedreamer_1 November 3, 2011 at 1:00 pm

& India is going nuts with the new names: Kolkata, Mumbai…

& that NVA named a city after a prostitute!

not that Dewey November 3, 2011 at 1:05 pm

People just liked it better that way.

LesBontemps November 3, 2011 at 1:12 pm

That's nobody's business but the Turks'.

DaRooster November 3, 2011 at 10:48 am

“Does the region call itself the Tampa Bay region? Is that what it calls itself? The region does?”

Um… also… too… regions do not talk, moron.

DahBoner November 3, 2011 at 11:23 am

My Republican brother lived in Cali for over 15 years and didn't know where "Silicon Valley" was….

HogeyeGrex November 3, 2011 at 11:44 am

I'd venture he thought it was between the stripper's tits.

Generation[redacted] November 3, 2011 at 5:23 pm

It's where Rick Perry canceled his fundraiser this week because nobody wanted to attend.

IncenseDebate November 3, 2011 at 11:40 am

I heard Rick Scott communicates with his region and he shaves his area. Too. Also. Vomit.

El Pinche November 3, 2011 at 10:49 am

Savor Rick Scott, Florida. Enjoy your human cobblestone governor.

Mumbletypeg November 3, 2011 at 12:08 pm

"Cobblestone, Cobblestone, Cobblestone Gov'n'r:
Don't trouble w/ facts, but these facts are troubl'n.
Ask him a riddle and he's bound to flub'ner;
Cobblestone, Cobblestone, Cobblestone Gov'n'r."

MrFizzy November 3, 2011 at 10:55 am

Clearly his hair didn't fall out because of the heat emanating from his brain.

Chillwaver November 3, 2011 at 10:56 am

Ok, Rick is either trying to piss off Buccaneers fans or running for Miss Florida, cause really, nobody is this stupid.

DaRooster November 3, 2011 at 11:15 am

"Ubeki-beki-beki-beki-stan-stan"

MozakiBlocks November 3, 2011 at 10:57 am

His mother must be so proud.

DaRooster November 3, 2011 at 11:44 am

She should be tested…

littlebigdaddy November 3, 2011 at 10:57 am

And he thinks all those brown people in Miami are Messicans.

Crank_Tango November 3, 2011 at 10:00 am

Christ. And I am moving to Florida next week with a ring for a girl who says she doesn't want me any more.
Ah, fuckit, one more sane voter, right? Or at least one more dem voter?

SayItWithWookies November 3, 2011 at 11:57 am

You should consider yourself lucky that you have to go to Florida to find a chick who doesn't want you — I can find plenty of 'em right here. Shit, sell the ring and stay where you are or move someplace you'll like — it'll be better for both of you.

HistoriCat November 3, 2011 at 12:09 pm

moving to Florida next week with a ring for a girl who says she doesn't want me any more.

Want to rethink that claim to sanity?

deanbooth November 3, 2011 at 12:13 pm

At least you know the score before going there. I had a friend who quit his job to follow his gf to middle Alaska, and then she promptly broke up with him.

Crank_Tango November 3, 2011 at 12:24 pm

Yeah I had a buddy who was working for the UN in Africa, and his wife wanted to go back to the states, understandably, and she got him to quit his job, go back to Chicago, where her family was from, not his, and then said she wanted a divorce. WTF.I know I got a long road ahead of me but if it don't work then I will know I tried.

Beowoof November 3, 2011 at 12:52 pm

Good luck.

Biel_ze_Bubba November 3, 2011 at 12:54 pm

Yep – if you don't try, you'll go nuts wondering "what if?"
Good luck!

BaldarTFlagass November 3, 2011 at 1:11 pm

If they didn't have a pussy, there'd be a bounty on them.

Chet Kincaid November 3, 2011 at 1:56 pm

Oh, I'm sure they say of us, "if they didn't control the power structure, their severed cocks would all be in a ditch a half-mile away from home."

TitsOccupado November 3, 2011 at 1:01 pm

That's exactly how I ended up in the Eastern High Sierra, and too broke to move again for about 24 years.

angryhaiku November 3, 2011 at 12:46 pm

That is either super romantic or completely insane.

Either way, call me if it doesn't work out!

Fare la Volpe November 3, 2011 at 1:02 pm

You say that like they're mutually exclusive.

Crank_Tango November 3, 2011 at 1:34 pm

Well I know it is a pretty dumb idea, so super romantic? My problem is I am about 4 months too late…Sent from my iPhone

Crank_Tango November 10, 2011 at 3:23 pm

well, she told me she loves someone else now, so you can email your number to my name @gmail LOL.

Chet Kincaid November 3, 2011 at 1:45 pm

There's a thin line between "deluded sadsack" and "stalker," but both are across the state line in Florida. Think on it before you make that move!

Gainsbourg69 November 3, 2011 at 2:25 pm

The funny thing is that there are more dems than wingnuts down here. What fucks it up for us is the democrat's machine. If it weren't for them this dick head (literally) would've never been elected.

Welcome to Florida, by the way. I hope you don't land in one of our numerous shit holes. And if it doesn't work out with your girl, at least you have the active Florida lifestyle to lok forward to.

fuflans November 3, 2011 at 10:54 pm

oh crank i hope this works out for you.

if not, you always have us.

Crank_Tango November 3, 2011 at 11:35 pm

I got a long row to hoe, but I think eventually I will get her back. thanks for your support, everybody!Sent from my iPhone

nounverb911 November 3, 2011 at 11:00 am

Tampa Bay is right next to St. Jetersburg.
Jeter's House.

proudgrampa November 3, 2011 at 11:25 am

I would hate to do the housework there… I'd have to buy a riding vacuum cleaner.

Biel_ze_Bubba November 3, 2011 at 12:51 pm

It's great for keeping in shape … Jeter can jog 1/4 mile without leaving the house.

prommie November 3, 2011 at 11:02 am

I thought they changed the name of that area to "Travoltia."

John Birf Society November 3, 2011 at 11:06 am

Classic misdirection– now no one will search for the fifth horcrux hidden somewhere in Tampa Bay.

OC_Surf_Serf_#OLA November 3, 2011 at 11:06 am

Tampa Bay…hmmm…looking at the map…isn't that up around the prostate?

memzilla November 3, 2011 at 11:17 am

Tallahassee has to bend over and cough.

Trannysurprise November 3, 2011 at 11:13 am

To be fair the name "Tampa Bay Region" does sound a lot better than "Tract Housing Hell Full of Racist Assholes" which was what they were going to call it, obvsly.

proudgrampa November 3, 2011 at 11:14 am

I'm sure they taught geography at Hogwart's.

actor212 November 3, 2011 at 11:31 am

But Lex Luthor knew it well! I saw the Superman movie!

Not_So_Much November 3, 2011 at 11:18 am

As long as he's doing his part to keep China from getting nukes, I'm willing to give him a pass on this.

paris biltong November 3, 2011 at 11:21 am

Tampax bay? Yeech.

widestanceshakedown November 3, 2011 at 11:21 am

Since he has no idea where he is, let's slip a sack over his head in the middle of the night, ship him off to Gitmo, and tell him he's the emperor who must crush the rogue regime claiming to be in charge.

DahBoner November 3, 2011 at 11:22 am

"Tampa Bay encompasses Tampa, St. Petersburg and Clearwater and is the state’s second-largest metropolitan area."

What?

Every Teabagger on Hillbilly Heroin knows that Tampa bay area is the "go to" place for Dr. Feelgood pill mills…

OneYieldRegular November 3, 2011 at 11:24 am

Oh come on, Rick. I live in California, and I can see Tampa Bay from my house.

prommie November 3, 2011 at 11:26 am

Why did Constantinople get the works?

HogeyeGrex November 3, 2011 at 11:48 am

Not really my business. You'll have to ask the Turks.

Katydid November 3, 2011 at 11:49 am

It's nobody's bidness but the Turks!

prommie November 3, 2011 at 11:54 am

I hear its very sunny there. The sun is a mass of incandescent gas, a gigantic nuclear furnace, where hydrogen is turned into helium at a temperature of millions of degrees, you know.

horsedreamer_1 November 3, 2011 at 1:03 pm

I heard a live version of this — also performed by They Might Be Giants — that sounded like really kooky OI! punk.

Greatness, naturally.

TitsOccupado November 3, 2011 at 1:05 pm

The whole universe was in a hot, dense state.

actor212 November 3, 2011 at 11:30 am

Them dirty Florida hippies living in their "regions"…

owhatever November 3, 2011 at 11:33 am

The St. Pete Times kicked the Gubernator Voldemort's ass around the block several times during his campaign. The right wingers, not caring about the crimes and history of their candidate, still elected him.

Biel_ze_Bubba November 3, 2011 at 1:08 pm

In Florida, political candidates with criminal backgrounds have "job experience."

fawkdifiknow November 3, 2011 at 11:33 am

Great Scott!! He did the impossible. He made Jeb Bush look smart.

Blueb4sunrise November 3, 2011 at 11:50 am

Isn't there some kinda gathering of lunatics somewhere around there?
Oh yeah.

Join us August 2012 in Tampa Bay! http://gopconvention2012.com/

Guppy November 3, 2011 at 12:24 pm

And from the other end of Interstate 4…
http://www.sunshinestatenews.com/story/tea-party-

Blueb4sunrise November 3, 2011 at 12:35 pm

Yikes! Comments are …….Yikes!
That's an event to keep an eye on.

Wait, isn't Dayton in Ohio?

Guppy November 3, 2011 at 12:39 pm

Thankfully, I have better things to blow $150 on this weekend.

Blueb4sunrise November 3, 2011 at 12:54 pm

Maybe there will be video.

dizzeeboy November 3, 2011 at 12:59 pm

Just wandered over there. New commenter "Suq Madiq" made a terse rebuttal.

Blueb4sunrise November 3, 2011 at 1:11 pm

Heh.

Chet Kincaid November 3, 2011 at 1:42 pm

Boo! From the headline, I expected actual, physical violence.

Guppy November 3, 2011 at 1:57 pm

It's only about three miles from here to here, so it might still be possible, depending on the battery life on those mobility scooters.

Mumbletypeg November 3, 2011 at 12:49 pm

Huh. Somewhat less mosque-y than their old logo was, I perceive…

Blueb4sunrise November 3, 2011 at 1:00 pm

Fergot about that mosque-y issue. The new one hates the States apparently.

"….features a three-starred red, white and blue flag – symbolizing equality, justice and opportunity – and the party’s traditional mascot, the elephant."
http://www2.tbo.com/news/2011/oct/18/13/rnc-unvei

Biel_ze_Bubba November 3, 2011 at 1:15 pm

Actually, the three stars are Florida, Texas, and Arizona. You know — the real states, where real 'merkins live.

Blueb4sunrise November 3, 2011 at 1:25 pm

As an Arizonan (weeps softly) I'd have to say that we're falling behind in the batshit crazy competition in favor of just pure assholinity.

barto November 3, 2011 at 11:53 am

It's so amusing when those who are intellectualy challenged AND evil FAIL in their condescension. If only there were consequences for these poeple. But if a $600 million fine can't even stop this turd, probably nothing ever will.

Arken November 3, 2011 at 11:54 am

You'll have to forgive Rick Scott. He thinks 'the bay' is something people bet on in that funny song the negroes sing.

Guppy November 3, 2011 at 12:26 pm

"I get no kick from champagne…"

Chichikovovich November 3, 2011 at 12:41 pm

And he thinks the mayor of "the Bay" is Bob Tailnag.

TitsOccupado November 3, 2011 at 1:14 pm

Who are these "Camptown Ladies" of which you speak?

prommie November 3, 2011 at 1:27 pm

Whatever happened to Mare Winningham? I bet she's old and gray now, not what she used to be.

Slim_Pickins November 3, 2011 at 11:54 am

What does a governor need to know about foreign lands, anyway?

Biel_ze_Bubba November 3, 2011 at 2:05 pm

He's gotta be ready for those Iranians, who are about to mount an invasion across the border.

meatlofer November 3, 2011 at 12:04 pm

St. Petersburg is in Russia! You ASSHOLE!

Guppy November 3, 2011 at 12:30 pm

Even Putin knows the difference.

SayItWithWookies November 3, 2011 at 12:05 pm

Rick Scott doesn't need to know about Geography. Did Genghis Khan stop to ask what town he was in every time he stopped somewhere to rape and pillage and scrape the gold leaf off the domes? No — leave that shit for the scribes and historians, he's got more important things to do.

subsum November 3, 2011 at 12:11 pm

It's Tampa Bay, people. Who cares what they call themselves?

Biel_ze_Bubba November 3, 2011 at 2:06 pm

Tampa Bayesians. Probably.

SayItWithWookies November 3, 2011 at 12:13 pm

Well good luck then — I know how you feel, wanting to make sure, so I hope it works out.

a_pink_poodle November 3, 2011 at 12:13 pm

What's a Tampa Bay? Is that like a ladies personal business sort of thing or something?

SarahsBush November 3, 2011 at 12:20 pm

"I see your not-knowing-what-Tampa-Bay is and raise you a take-a-history-lesson."

Never, EVER, underestimate the stupidity of Floridians.

HedonismBot November 3, 2011 at 12:23 pm

All this time, I never thought he was stupid, just evil. Evil usually goes with smart, you know what I mean?

Redhead November 3, 2011 at 12:23 pm

Scott/Palin(first 1/2)/Perry(second 1/2, after the rehab stint) 2012!!!!

dennis1943 November 3, 2011 at 12:28 pm

I'm proud to be yor Governor……..of the great state of…..uh…..uh……someone help me out here……

prommie November 3, 2011 at 1:29 pm

Harumph.

Ramon X November 3, 2011 at 12:32 pm

There has been some misunderstanding here. Actually, he was just interjecting a little lighthearted satire into the interview.

proudgrampa November 3, 2011 at 1:04 pm

Satire??? That is not permitted, here. Und that vich ist not permitted, ist verboten!

Papa_Uniform November 3, 2011 at 12:40 pm

Tampa Bay, Shampa Bay. Just be grateful he knows he's in Florida. Oh, wait. He doesn't???

proudgrampa November 3, 2011 at 12:43 pm

So, seriously. How bad is Tampa Bay? Sounds like it's a horrible place to live, and an even worse place to visit. Does it have any redeeming qualities? At all? Is this a place where Jimmy Buffett would go???

Inquiring minds want to know.

prommie November 3, 2011 at 12:45 pm

Jimmy Buffet prefers Cedar Key, somewhat to the north.

TitsOccupado November 3, 2011 at 1:23 pm

Where the cheese comes from?

102415 November 3, 2011 at 2:38 pm

I went there oncet and actually it's nice.

prommie November 3, 2011 at 12:50 pm

Seems to me that the funny thing about Jimmy Buffet is the gigantic chasm on the coolness spectrum between BEING Jimmy Buffet, which come on, admit it, is ultra-cool, and being a Jimmy Buffet FAN, which is so uncool, its almost the ultimate in dork-dom. Jimmy is the 70s version of Dave Mathews, but without the depth. But what he has done with it, and the life he has crafted for himself from the proceeds of his modest talent and simple likeability, thats is so cool.

proudgrampa November 3, 2011 at 12:59 pm

I would give my left arm to be Jimmy Buffet. How uncool is THAT?

BaldarTFlagass November 3, 2011 at 1:00 pm

I'd be happy to be his seaplane. Go to cool places and shit.

prommie November 3, 2011 at 1:14 pm

Exactly. BEING Jimmy Buffet is cool.

DaRooster November 3, 2011 at 1:49 pm

But… you would probably suck at guitar… without your left arm.

proudgrampa November 3, 2011 at 2:11 pm

I SAID it would be uncool.

Negropolis November 3, 2011 at 11:54 pm

You can probably find some Wall Street banker to put together such an arrangement for the right price.

OccupytheDashboard November 3, 2011 at 1:08 pm

Plus, they call themselves "Parrotheads" :::shiver:::

Chet Kincaid November 3, 2011 at 1:36 pm

He should team up with Warren Buffet, and compose a catchy PSA jingle for the 1% about not Bogart-ing the GDP.

crybabyboehner November 3, 2011 at 12:50 pm

I could have sworn he got booed throwing out the first pitch at a St. Pete Rays game.

Fare la Volpe November 3, 2011 at 12:58 pm

I was about to say this sounds exactly like the kind of thing that would be helped by drinking.

Good luck, Crank! If she don't say yes, then find you a high class Miami mamacita and a round of tequila slammers. Lord knows you deserve it.

hagajim November 3, 2011 at 1:02 pm

Rick probably thought Tampa was where all the girls went to get their Taqmpastamps.

horsedreamer_1 November 3, 2011 at 1:04 pm

Carpetbagging, much?

Generation[redacted] November 3, 2011 at 1:13 pm

I don't know where Tampa Bay is, but I count myself lucky in that regard.

102415 November 3, 2011 at 2:43 pm

He was just fucking with them. He threw away the long awaited train link that was to be built there just about first thing as Governor. Everyone left and right set up a tremendous howl about it to no avail. Huge loss to the area and a great many jerbs down the toilet of Republcan't.

gurukalehuru November 3, 2011 at 2:48 pm

If I was Tampa Bay, I would secede from Florida, I would.

comrad_darkness November 3, 2011 at 3:20 pm

Clearly, Rick never committed medicare fraud in Tampa Bay.

kingofmeh November 3, 2011 at 5:04 pm

now, the Hogsmeade metro area, he's familiar with THAT.

ttommyunger November 3, 2011 at 11:02 pm

Just how many times does an asshole in Florida have to tip his hand before the voters realize he' only holding three Jokers and a fucking Wild Card?

Negropolis November 3, 2011 at 11:38 pm

Silly me. Here I was thinking they called themselves "Tacky downtown office park surrounded by tacky foreclosures" region.

He shouldn't feel bad. I forget Tampa on a regular basis. Flordia really does have some pretty shitty cities to be as wealthy a state as it is.

That said, for your state's governor to not know what a major metropolitan area within that state calls itself is pretty scary.

Negropolis November 3, 2011 at 11:44 pm

You guys are all wrong. He was asking a rhetorical and existential question. Because, you see, what region really is able to call itself anything?

Dude, I'm blowing my own mind, here…like, I'm all out there in the ether and such.

prommie November 3, 2011 at 11:38 am

Its an oozing pustule on the back of a wang that is suffering some kind of chronic fungal infection.

proudgrampa November 3, 2011 at 11:47 am

Ewww. You made me throw up in my mouth a little!

not that Dewey November 3, 2011 at 12:15 pm

Well, professional hockey has Satan Himself in their employ.

NorthStarSpanx November 3, 2011 at 12:35 pm

And the congressman who thought that the heavy physical weight of our armed forces on a S. Pacific Island was literally going to 'tip' it over.

Biel_ze_Bubba November 3, 2011 at 12:58 pm

Just trying to stay in shape.

prommie November 3, 2011 at 1:15 pm

The whole universe was in Florida?

not that Dewey November 4, 2011 at 1:24 am

And you look great!

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