A CHILDREN'S HISTORY OF CATHOLIC TERRORISM  1:42 pm November 1, 2011

America Stuck With All These Guy Fawkes Masks, We Guess

by Ken Layne

These guys again ...As this photo from our #OWS correspondent KenLayIsAlive makes clear, the guys with the Guy Fawkes masks are well represented at Occupy Wall Street and many other Protest Occupations around the country. The cultural trajectory of this mask is sometimes hard to follow, but here’s our attempt to explain it, and also explain why it creeps us out.

Never Forget.Guy Fawkes was a religious extremist and fundamentalist terrorist — basically, a right-wing theocratic Catholic nut. After fighting in a variety of Catholic jihads against liberals and reformers in Europe, Fawkes adopted the racist parody name “Guido” and returned to England to do terrorism there, for the Pope. He was part of a terror cell with Robert Catesby, “who planned to assassinate the Protestant King James and replace him with his daughter, third in the line of succession, Princess Elizabeth.” In 1605, Fawkes was reportedly caught guarding a massive “fertilizer bomb” in a basement room beneath England’s Senate, the House of Lords. The terror plot was discovered and Fawkes was tortured and then he leapt off the execution scaffold and broke his neck, which was a success of sorts, as he avoided being torn into chunks by a team of horses, as was the tradition in Merry Olde England. And Elizabeth is still the Queen of England today!

Also, the English still celebrate “Guy Fawkes Night,” when they celebrate their hatred of the Pope and Catholics everywhere by burning the Catholic terrorist Guy Fawkes in effigy, and then getting blindingly drunk as the English do each and every night (and day). When the tons of vomit and blood are hosed off the streets by Double-Decker Bus the next day, all is as it once was!

Masked and anonymous.There is quite a distance between that historical conspiracy and the religious hatred/savage drunkeness it still inspires “across the pond” and the now-common sight at American anti-corporate protests of youngsters wearing stylized “Guy Fawkes masks.” And it’s a distance that can only be bridged by a fairly recent shitty comic-book-adaptation movie that was deeply loved by Ron Paul’s hobgoblin youth army of World of Warcraft nerds in 2007.

In the movie, V for Vendetta, a make-believe terrorist wears the stylized Guy Fawkes mask. (Fawkes was described as having red hair and thick red beard, like Jim Newell, so who knows where the Snidely Whiplash cartoon mask comes from.) We think maybe this is the movie where Natalie Portman gets busy with that other ballerina girl? It is hard to keep track, these days! In any case, the movie resonated with youngsters who didn’t like George W. Bush having dumb wars everywhere — dumb for everyone but the Defense Contractors and Oil Company stockholders, haw haw — and so in 2007 some of these people rallied around an elderly Texas gynecologist who loved golden doubloons more than anything.

Uhh.Photograph of people in Guy Fawkes masks in Minneapolis the day before the Republican National Convention, August 2008.

And then the amorphous online activist group Anonymous adopted the mask as its sinister anonymous face/logo, with its anti-Scientology protesters hidden behind the plastic Halloween masks. The leap from comic book to Hollywood movie to Ron Paul ReLOVEution to dastardly online mischief makers was complete. And through this strange transition, the Guy Fawkes mask has now returned to the fearsome power of the Gunpowder Plot — leaders of the World Governments and Giant Corporations now feel Maximum Terror when Anonymous shines its light on their dirty secrets. The ridiculously horrifying mask with its knowing leer is perfect for our ridiculous, paranoid, edge-of-apocalypse era.

The Cathars Were Right.By the time the Occupy Everything movement took hold, there was little doubt that the Guy Fawkes masks would be as common as rhythmically challenged people insisting upon the playing of drums. (Why do drum circle people insist on so many drummers? Because if one drummer keeps time and the Grateful Dead needed two drummers to not keep time, then it takes at least seven drummers to fuck up everything.)

A recent New York Times style piece about the Guy Fawkes masks noted that many #OWS protesters wear them backwards, so that their faces are unhidden and there’s an unsettling appearance of people with cartoon heads on the back of their skulls, like Voldemort.

We hope you enjoyed this Brief History of the Guy Fawkes Mask Over 500+ Years. And now we will implore you not to click this link: SexyFawkes.Tumblr.com. Don’t do it. It’s not “work safe” by any stretch of the imagination, and it’s not “safe” for your brain or your libido, either. What do we mean? There’s no way to explain. But if you do click that link and find yourself, in months ahead, unable to reach sexual satisfaction without your “partner” (whether virtual or maybe even human) wearing the monstrous mask of a cartoon Catholic Terrorist, then don’t come crying to us. (The Internet will be shut down by then, anyway.)

Thanks, Twitter, for sharing this with the world.

ALSO: The American version of Guy Fawkes Day, November 5, will be celebrated by closing your Wall Street Bank account and putting the money in a credit union, or a mason jar. Do it Now! (On November 5.)

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 230 comments }

ifthethunderdontgetya November 1, 2011 at 1:49 pm

Ken Layne is alive!
~

smitallica November 1, 2011 at 1:50 pm

You guys have this all wrong. These folks are just happy because the Special Edition of "V for Vendetta" is finally out on Blu-Ray.

Guppy November 1, 2011 at 2:59 pm

A movie popular among anti-establishment types released in a format that phones home over the internet.

/facepalm

ifthethunderdontgetya November 1, 2011 at 1:50 pm

P.S. Totally click. Maybe not at work though.
~

Andrew Drinker November 1, 2011 at 1:54 pm

I busted out my smart phone and clicked while in a restroom stall.

Um, that was probably TMI on my part.

DaRooster November 1, 2011 at 2:09 pm

Um… I hope everything came out alright.

MagicCookie November 1, 2011 at 2:04 pm

Oh yeah. Working from home today. Clickity click click. Click.

Lascauxcaveman November 1, 2011 at 2:28 pm

Eh. Kinda creepy/sexy. Too many tats and uncomfortably-placed piercings for this old fuddy-duddy.

Also, I'm not into the Guy Fawkeses; just the Gal Fawkeses.

GunToting[Redacted] November 1, 2011 at 2:50 pm

I'm cool with the tats, but not so much the penis.

prommie November 1, 2011 at 3:49 pm

I was not enjoying the penis, as well, too. Too much penis, in those penii.

tessiee November 1, 2011 at 9:45 pm

I prefer penises to tattoos.
Can we trade?

Guppy November 1, 2011 at 3:00 pm

Remember: it's not the body modifications, it's the daddy issues that lead to the modifications to begin with.

4TheTurnstiles November 1, 2011 at 1:50 pm

Would Guy Fawkes please tell me how to find some ditchweed DNA so's I can carry on with some botanical research? That would be a good use for the anonymity.

SexySmurf November 1, 2011 at 1:51 pm

Fawkes adopted the racist parody name “Guido”

GTL: Gunpowder, Terrorism, Laundry.

BigDumbRedDog November 1, 2011 at 1:52 pm

I learneded sumfin on the wonkette today!

Herring_Burnit November 1, 2011 at 2:43 pm

I'm usually weeping, when I say that here.

Guppy November 1, 2011 at 3:01 pm

Other than gay slang?

Gratuitous World November 1, 2011 at 1:52 pm

holy shit I just learned something. November is looking up.

Callyson November 1, 2011 at 1:53 pm

Called “Operation Fox Hunt”, Anonymous recently announced plans on YouTube (video below) to digitally attack the Fox News website on the anniversary of Guy Fawkes Day. http://www.digitaltrends.com/web/anonymous-threat
We're taking it back, man! Reclaim the name!

Andrew Drinker November 1, 2011 at 1:59 pm

While we're at it, we need to get back that Don't Tread On Me flag.

NickDanger007 November 1, 2011 at 2:10 pm

That is so true. I used to enjoy displaying that flag. No more.

Gratuitous World November 1, 2011 at 2:12 pm

Not to mention the actual Boston Tea Party + its protest against corp. tax breaks

Chichikovovich November 1, 2011 at 1:54 pm

What? Don't like Catholics? We should be wearing Oliver Cromwell masks maybe?

Terry November 1, 2011 at 3:05 pm

Cromwell? <spit>

Beowoof November 1, 2011 at 1:54 pm

So many learned their history from the movies. They think they are V for Vendetta fighting the right wing overlord.

McRibzgood November 1, 2011 at 1:55 pm

I never saw the movie. But if your going to wear a mask and not know anything about it, or it's history,here's Baconz (AKA Temp McRibz) suggestion: J. R. "Bob" Dobbs!!!! At least you wont look too much of a tool.

Nostrildamus November 1, 2011 at 1:56 pm

Today we are all anonymous, grasping hands.

Jim Newell November 1, 2011 at 1:58 pm

Some solid dicks there on SexyFawkes.

Chichikovovich November 1, 2011 at 1:59 pm

Yep. And some of them even have erect penises.

Ken Layne November 1, 2011 at 2:06 pm

Your google news alert is working well!

Oblios_Cap November 1, 2011 at 2:18 pm

Guido Newell is paying attention.

Jim Newell November 1, 2011 at 2:20 pm

It's true. I don't know how some people go through life without a "Guy Fawkes" google alert.

Generation[redacted] November 1, 2011 at 1:58 pm

Rumor has it that Anonymous is going after the Mexican drug cartels, so don't wear one of those masks anywhere in Mexico for any reason ever.

Terry November 1, 2011 at 3:06 pm

Anonymous is about to find out that they are NOT the toughest group out there.

Negropolis November 2, 2011 at 1:44 am

You know, they may not make the impact that they want to, but unless the cartels are as steeped in the internet as Anonymous (and they aren't; not even close), I don't see what they have to worry about.

Terry November 2, 2011 at 7:00 am

Good point. Doesn't any major business have a few internet guys these days, though?

GorzoTheMighty November 1, 2011 at 1:59 pm

The mask looks suspiciously French to me. Maybe it is concealing Madame Defarge? Can the guillotine be far behind?

e_z November 1, 2011 at 1:59 pm

Guy Fawkes, the original religous terrorist. They gave him the rack, he confessed, fingered his buddies and got hung, drawn and quartered for his troubles.

However the good news is fabulous Fireworks and Bonfires on November 5 every year.

Penny for the man?

MaxNeanderthal November 1, 2011 at 2:08 pm

Er, apparently, he didn't confess (which is questionable, probably the only person who was racked who didn't), but it didn't matter anyway, as the plotters had already been well grassed up by informants/agent provocateurs…

e_z November 1, 2011 at 2:30 pm

world's worst looking forgery on his confession?
http://www.luminarium.org/encyclopedia/fawkesconf

OC_Surf_Serf_#OLA November 1, 2011 at 1:59 pm

V is for Vagina until I hear otherwise…

BaldarTFlagass November 1, 2011 at 2:51 pm

Victory!

DahBoner November 1, 2011 at 3:15 pm

Yes, Virginia, there is a Vagina…

MissTaken November 1, 2011 at 3:57 pm

Hail to the V!

smitallica November 1, 2011 at 2:00 pm

I mean, in all fairness, why should the Tea Party be the only ones allowed to co-opt historical symbols about whose meaning they know positively fuck-all?

Chichikovovich November 1, 2011 at 2:04 pm

I couldn't agree more. Let's all dress in stockings and puffy, garish clothes to honor insurgent freedom fighter Louis XIV.

edgydrifter November 1, 2011 at 2:00 pm

Remember, remember the, uh… something-something bird? Remember the Alamo? History is gay.

chascates November 1, 2011 at 2:16 pm

Remember the Maine!

kissawookiee November 1, 2011 at 2:52 pm

Rick Perry remembers the Alamo about that well, if his New Hampshire performance is any indication.

weejee November 1, 2011 at 2:01 pm

Ken, Guy Fawkes day in Saturday you silly. My guess is the Fawkes masks are made in V for Vendetta China, so they will not add much to the making of the jerbs, but a thumbs up for the making of the mirth.

Blueb4sunrise November 1, 2011 at 2:52 pm

You're probably right about the China manufacturing. Crap, there goes my V V V jerbs plan.

donner_froh November 1, 2011 at 2:01 pm

Everyone back then was a a right-wing theocratic nut who spent most of their time torturing and killing each other for Jesus–the Catholics just did more of it and organized it better but people in one Protestant group would gladly chop off the head of someone from a competing Protestant group.

Organized Jesus religions suck.

SorosBot November 1, 2011 at 2:17 pm

Now, not all the Christians then were genocidally violent and torture-happy; for one, the Quakers were peaceful, along with… um… …OK just the Quakers.

Mumbly_Occupado November 1, 2011 at 3:07 pm

That's not strictly true either; the Great Separation of the mid-1800s was so severe that a member of one Meeting sprained an ankle in the fracas.

In Quaker circles, that was actually a huge deal.

Terry November 1, 2011 at 3:08 pm

Quakers were on the other side of the Atlantic and more than a few years after the era of Guy Fawkes et al. Generally nice folks, the Quakers, but they did produce Nixon.

BelleSC November 1, 2011 at 3:42 pm

Sidwell Friends School, attended by Chelsea Clinton and the children of our current president, is a Quaker school.

Terry November 1, 2011 at 3:53 pm

Yep, it's a very good school.

Nixon was still a Quaker, although a fallen one.

GOPCrusher November 1, 2011 at 2:19 pm

Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!

Oblios_Cap November 1, 2011 at 2:21 pm

I am unaware of any organized religion (except maybe Buddhism) that doesn't suck.

I mean, those Baal-ists totally rocked!

pdiddycornchips November 1, 2011 at 2:49 pm

My cousin made up his own religion based on the TV show "What's Happening?".
He was eventually incarcerated for various criminal activities but I think he still practices his faith.

MissTaken November 1, 2011 at 4:01 pm

I was eavesdropping on two ladies while getting a mani-pedi at the salon last week. One mentioned her friend was starting a religion based on the songs of the Black Eyed Peas. The other lady didn't even flinch.

The fucking Black Eyed Peas??

MzNicky November 2, 2011 at 7:45 am

The Church of Elvis is still alive and well in Memphis, TN, last I heard. Now that's one awesome Christian denomination right there.

emmelemm November 1, 2011 at 3:04 pm

In fact, I was under the impression that a group of Protestants got in a big ship and sailed away for new lands, because they didn't want their heads lopped off or something.

I am not a history expert, though.

prommie November 1, 2011 at 3:06 pm

Most of the time when "puritans" are complaining about being persecuted, its not because someone is trying to lop their heads off, its because someone won't let them lop other people's heads off.

Terry November 1, 2011 at 3:10 pm

They were also "persecuted" when other people refused to convert to the Puritans' brand of Christianity.

SorosBot November 1, 2011 at 3:12 pm

Hey, you know how badly the Puritans were oppressed by the English? They forced them to live among people who wantonly danced and attended the theater, and stopped them from burning suspected witches to death.

Mumbly_Occupado November 1, 2011 at 3:25 pm

Now, now. A lot of the stuff about burning witches was, at least as far as Europe goes, a bit of a myth. The prescribed punishment for witchcraft was hanging.

It's also worth noting that the supposed 'tells' of a witch happened to include things like, say, chanting in some arcane language (Latin) under one's breath. Not that I'm saying the witch scare stuff was necessarily deliberately intended to catch a bunch of underground Catholics along with it, but…

tessiee November 1, 2011 at 9:53 pm

"its not because someone is trying to lop their heads off, its because someone won't let them lop other people's heads off. "

And lo and behold, we're hearing the same kind of whining from the folks who are running the show today. Circle of life, etc. etc.

vulpes82 November 1, 2011 at 3:08 pm

No, they just wanted freedom from oppression. Specifically, the freedom to oppress others who disagreed with them even slightly. And thus was born AMERICA!

emmelemm November 1, 2011 at 3:12 pm

Fine points, y'all! As I said, I am not a history expert.

Oblios_Cap November 1, 2011 at 3:15 pm

And, lo!, that's why Fundementalist white christians are still the most oppressed group in America, even unto this day.

vulpes82 November 1, 2011 at 3:20 pm

You should read Sarah Vowell's The Wordy Shipmates. It's short, pithy, and funny. Or, for something a bit more weighty, try Nathan Philbrick's Mayflower.

SorosBot November 1, 2011 at 3:17 pm

The Puritans were all about freedom; after all, they managed to free Charles I's head from the rest of his body.

vulpes82 November 1, 2011 at 3:19 pm

And free us from the fun, frivolity, and presents of Christmas! And free us from the tyranny of plays and musical performances! (Seriously, they were total killjoys. Many think they lost power so quickly because people wanted to have some damn fun.)

Chichikovovich November 1, 2011 at 4:12 pm

Though in their defence, it must be said that Charles I had a head that absolutely cried out to be severed.

TitsAkimbo November 1, 2011 at 4:49 pm

Wooden Ships, on the Water…

Negropolis November 2, 2011 at 1:50 am

Hell, they'd even more gladly chopped off a Catholic head.

Mumbletypeg November 1, 2011 at 2:03 pm

Natalie Portman… she's the one who showed up preggers at that ceremony, then some time later pooped out a baby bunch of movies one after the other rather un-ceremoniously, yes?.. You're right Ken, it is hard to keep 'em all straight…

Ansnarkist November 1, 2011 at 3:42 pm

I love how Black Swan got a metric tonne (British spelling in honour of Guy Fawkes) of great reception and now everyone has turned their backs on it. What a waste of money that movie was.

Mumbletypeg November 1, 2011 at 4:26 pm

I enjoyed it more than most. For several reasons, including I ignored the hype when it started buzzing, so I could see it w/o pre-drawn conclusions. Overall it was effective as a psych thrill, yet if you sense when a film director (or lead actor, or editor) is "trying *too* hard," for me that's a fine line, but when it's crossed, it becomes less about the end and more about the means — if that makes sense, & this film came close to that effect on me. Ditto with Wrestler.

fuflans November 1, 2011 at 2:04 pm

i know i come to wonkette for the cathar alt-txt.

prommie November 1, 2011 at 2:15 pm

Here's to the Albigensian crusade!

SorosBot November 1, 2011 at 2:39 pm

The whole Old Testament makes a lot more sense if you view Yahweh as the great deceiving Demiurge instead of the loving god mainstream Christianity claim he was.

Maman November 1, 2011 at 2:44 pm

The Cathars might have been right, but I am not sure what Saint Bernadette would say about it…

SenileAgitation November 1, 2011 at 2:49 pm

and perhaps like me, stay for the Star Doll digital paper dolls ad fapping? Uh, right. Of course not. Sorry to suggest a well-adjusted person would do that.

vulpes82 November 1, 2011 at 3:09 pm

BOGOMIL LIBEL!11!!

Goonemeritus November 1, 2011 at 2:04 pm

You say Catholic fundamentalist like it’s a bad thing.

MaxNeanderthal November 1, 2011 at 2:09 pm

….is there any other sort? (of catholic, not fundie, I know there's shitloads of them….)

Mumbly_Occupado November 1, 2011 at 2:04 pm

As jarringly at-odds as it is with historic Guy Fawkes, Anonymous's adoption of the masks for their protests against Scientology actually did make a fucking lot of sense, being as the CoS has a rather nasty habit of targetting known critics for lawsuits, harrassment, even some out-and-out stalking on numerous occasions.

And true to form, the few Anons that have been "outed" have been sued in pretty short order. The sense I get is that they were mainly looking for a visually evocative way to obscure their identities for that reason, and as historically weird a choice as the V-for-Vendetta Guy Fawkes mask is, given all that, it is effective enough to that end.

McRibzgood November 1, 2011 at 2:04 pm

I don't need people to tell me what's NSFW or not…(click)…Oh. Next time I'll use Department Director Dale's terminal

Not_So_Much November 1, 2011 at 2:50 pm

Yeah, more Guy Fawkes/guy cocks than chatroulette….er, so I've heard.

Blueb4sunrise November 1, 2011 at 2:05 pm

Whoever is manufacturing those masks is probably hiring.
Job creation, people!! Focus.

Terry November 1, 2011 at 3:11 pm

Are you a ten year old Chinese child? If not, don't waste your time daydreaming about those jobs.

Sue4466 November 1, 2011 at 2:05 pm

Maybe using a symbol that takes nine paragraphs to explain is not good branding? especially when it still makes no fucking sense.

prommie November 1, 2011 at 3:51 pm

Well, in that way, the symbol resembles the cause itself.

Sue4466 November 1, 2011 at 4:00 pm

Which cause is that now?

proudgrampa November 1, 2011 at 2:06 pm

Just another chapter in religious extremism.

fuflans November 1, 2011 at 2:07 pm

and then getting blindingly drunk as the English do each and every night (and day).

england: still better than us in the important categories.

SorosBot November 1, 2011 at 2:08 pm

The Paultards adopting the Guy Fawkes mask is rather ironic, considering that in the book (which is really good, unlike the movie) V is fighting a fascist capitalist government explicitly based on those of Margaret Thatcher and Ronald Reagan, of the type that Paul and his followers would like to create, and Alan Moore is a far-left anarchist hippie.

Mumbletypeg November 1, 2011 at 2:15 pm

Fisting this because someone besides me was disappointed in the movie, which is new; and because I am having trouble deciphering the multiple layered fever-dream quality in Ken's post, which is not new

SorosBot November 1, 2011 at 2:32 pm

It's sad that the mediocre Watchmen is actually the best adaptation of one of Alan Moore's works on the big screen; everything else has been aggressively awful. At least this was better than League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. The only actually good version of his work was the For the Man Who Has Everything episode of Justice League Unlimited, based on one of his Superman issues.

Dok-cupy Everything November 1, 2011 at 3:02 pm

I thought this was a pretty good adaptation.

Chet Kincaid November 1, 2011 at 2:24 pm

But it's not ironic, given that the Real Guy is not too far off Ron Paul's philosophy, since Paul is a theocratic, woman-hating faux Libertarian whose only countercultural cred is being a Republican who hates oil wars.

Pat_Pending November 1, 2011 at 6:17 pm

Do I get downfisted for admitting that I kinda liked the movie, even if the graphic novel is better?

BaldarTFlagass November 1, 2011 at 7:09 pm

And if I haven't read the book, will I dig the movie? It's in my Netflix Q is why is ask.

SorosBot November 1, 2011 at 7:50 pm

Actually, as with Watchmen, this is one of those cases where people who haven't read the book tend to like it more (pun unintended) than those who have.

BaldarTFlagass November 1, 2011 at 8:13 pm

Ooops, I wasn't clear, it was Watchmen I was referring to, but I guess that's an answer. Never read Vendetta, and I liked the movie okay.

MOG2410 November 1, 2011 at 2:10 pm

remember, remember….anyway the mask is creepy.

Goonemeritus November 1, 2011 at 2:10 pm

I don’t like thinking America is succumbing to creeping English cultural imperialism. If we start adopting Guy Fawkes traditions the next thing you know we will be sitting down to jugged hare with spotted dick for afters. Well those fog breathers aren’t pulling the wool over this American’s eyes.

MaxNeanderthal November 1, 2011 at 2:17 pm

How come you know who Alf is then?

Goonemeritus November 1, 2011 at 2:22 pm

I’m a crusty old competitive cyclist, when I was young if you were going to have cycling hero’s they were all from across the pond.

MaxNeanderthal November 1, 2011 at 2:54 pm

Ah, so you'll know who the greatest female athlete of all time was….

Goonemeritus November 1, 2011 at 3:22 pm

Some would say Beryl Burton but my heart belongs to Lyli Herse and my libido belongs to Carol Addy.

SorosBot November 1, 2011 at 2:34 pm

Who doesn't know about everyone's favorite cat-eating survivor of Melmac?

MaxNeanderthal November 1, 2011 at 3:20 pm

Not ALF, Alf.

prommie November 1, 2011 at 3:08 pm

Whats this all about then?

MaxNeanderthal November 1, 2011 at 3:20 pm

My avatar

hagajim November 1, 2011 at 2:10 pm

So the Guy Fawkes mask is really the Guy Fucks mask?

Not_So_Much November 1, 2011 at 2:48 pm

Well, I'm an idiot and I clicked the clicky. Apparently, many of those folks believe it's actually 'guy cocks'.

CZL November 1, 2011 at 2:11 pm

I think we should adopt the Robin Hood cap as our symbol, the way the Teabaggers use the tricorn. In hoc signo vinces!

starfanglednut November 1, 2011 at 9:34 pm

I like it.

fuflans November 1, 2011 at 2:12 pm

king james was gay.

Limeylizzie November 1, 2011 at 2:38 pm

And he had special little boys found for him, throughout the land, and he would place them on these dowels , in the anus, so that they were good and ready for him when he decided to do the buggery. We're not all tea and crumpets , you know.

vulpes82 November 1, 2011 at 3:11 pm

You're a right kinky bunch you are. Centuries of emotional suppression and boarding schools filled with corporal punishment have made you go a bit… funny.

prommie November 1, 2011 at 2:14 pm

The mask is creepy because the leer represents apocalyptic glee, happiness, glee, at the coming of the end times, a "burn baby burn" leer. That glee, typical of the narcissist libertarian Paultards who all imagine themselves as the type who would be freed by the collapse of society, freed to succeed as natural, free-range Galts, so they are happy and excited by the prospect of the coming zombie apocolypse. Of course, they will be among the first eaten.

Terry November 1, 2011 at 3:14 pm

Because they are fat, slow, and stupid.

prommie November 1, 2011 at 3:25 pm

They'll make good bacon.

Sue4466 November 1, 2011 at 4:01 pm

Somebody went to art school!

Dok-cupy Everything November 1, 2011 at 2:14 pm

Why all this emphasis on truth over truthiness?

MaxNeanderthal November 1, 2011 at 2:14 pm

Oddly, I gave a snowbound driver a lift back to the village of Catesby's birth last winter. When she got out she was carrying a sputtering barrel…..

Chet Kincaid November 1, 2011 at 2:16 pm

Oh! Well in that case, I will be wearing my ironically stylized Osama Bin Laden mask to all #OWS events.

RadioOcupados November 1, 2011 at 2:16 pm

Fawke Off.

Mumbletypeg November 1, 2011 at 2:31 pm

Aw, FFS!

chascates November 1, 2011 at 2:17 pm

Don Cheney masks are far more disturbing.

Terry November 1, 2011 at 3:14 pm

Dick Cheney, even more so.

DahBoner November 1, 2011 at 3:16 pm

Pssst!!

"The mice are feet down"…

vulpes82 November 1, 2011 at 3:42 pm

Lon Chaney/Jr. masks, too!

SorosBot November 1, 2011 at 4:34 pm

Well, I saw Lon Chaney Jr. walkin' with the queen, doin' the werewolves of London

Chichikovovich November 1, 2011 at 4:09 pm

Also Don Cherry masks.

tessiee November 1, 2011 at 9:59 pm

And Dov Charney masks.

chascates November 1, 2011 at 4:17 pm

I meant Dick Cheney. Maybe he's halfway gone out of my conciousness?

Lascauxcaveman November 1, 2011 at 2:18 pm

I'll have what Mario's having.

Polythene_Pam November 1, 2011 at 2:21 pm

Neither credit union nor mason jar… But, I'm halfway thru moving my % (avg balance $36) from Chase to locally owned bank w/only 3 branches world-wide. Does that count?

Blueb4sunrise November 1, 2011 at 2:30 pm

Ka-CHING!!!!!!!!!! $$$$$$$$$
Sugar momma take me home with you!!!!!!!

Rotundo_ November 1, 2011 at 7:37 pm

Yay! Thanks for spanking a bankster today!

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 1, 2011 at 2:22 pm

Listen, all I want to know is do I have an excuse to get drunk and set off fireworks in November?

FNMA November 1, 2011 at 2:34 pm

Do you really need one?

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 1, 2011 at 2:45 pm

Do I? No. But I like to have some story to give the neighbors when I start to bring the thunder!

prommie November 1, 2011 at 3:24 pm

Just get drunk, then. Its what I do.

BaldarTFlagass November 1, 2011 at 2:48 pm

I bet the Fireworks vendors in Texas would love that, seein' as to how they are currently only allowed to be open for the two weeks before July 4th and the two weeks before New Years.

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 1, 2011 at 4:17 pm

We really do need two more explosive based holidays; one in the spring and one in the fall. Anyway we can convince people that blowing up eggs and chocolate rabbits is the proper way to celebrate Jesus?

BaldarTFlagass November 1, 2011 at 4:41 pm

Well, here in San Antonio, we have a spring ritual called Fiesta, one of whose traditions is cascarones, festively-decorated confetti-filled eggshells which are broken over the heads of you and your drunken companions by you and your drunken companions. No explosions, but they do make a big fucking mess.

prommie November 1, 2011 at 2:22 pm

Wasn't the Shakespeare character who said "first thing we kill all the lawyers" based on Fawkes? Because if thats true, then, well, there is that, at least, what ho, 23 skiddoo, wazzup, fa-shizzle, you know?

BaldarTFlagass November 1, 2011 at 2:22 pm

That likeness on the T-shirt, which is supposed to be Ron Paul I guess, looks an awful lot like a certain Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the United Federation of Planets.

prommie November 1, 2011 at 2:54 pm

Did he give his ID card to the border guard?

BaldarTFlagass November 1, 2011 at 3:01 pm

Sí, pero no hablan Inglés de todos modos.

prommie November 1, 2011 at 3:23 pm

The world is full of stupid people.

vulpes82 November 1, 2011 at 3:12 pm

Picard-tards would be much sexier and more rational than Paultards could ever be. They'd just be cold quoting Shakespeare and drawing lines HEH all over the place.

GOPCrusher November 1, 2011 at 2:22 pm

Instead of the Guy Fawkes mask, someone would get the hint if they adopted the Jigsaw mask?

WordSaladNation November 1, 2011 at 2:24 pm

I was watching an episode of the BBC series Luther the other day, and I think the killer was wearing a Guy Fawkes mask. We should run him for President!

Come here a minute November 1, 2011 at 2:27 pm

This Fawkes guy sounds like he could be next up on the Republican Presidential Primary reality show.

Mumbletypeg November 1, 2011 at 2:28 pm

Jeezus, Ken. Next thing we know you'll be saying the bible wasn't written by King James, either.

LiveToServeYa November 1, 2011 at 2:31 pm

Today, we are all Fawked. I suppose we'll have to find someone else than The Guy to burn in effigy.

littlebigdaddy November 1, 2011 at 2:31 pm

Needz moar exploding landmarks.

coolhandnuke November 1, 2011 at 2:32 pm

We're oft to blame, and this is too much proved, that with devotion's visage and pious action we do sugar on the devil himself.

BaldarTFlagass November 1, 2011 at 2:34 pm

V for Vendetta? Pfft. And how the fuck did he Fedex all those masks without getting busted? Hell, you can't Fedex a quarter ounce of good weed without the DEA getting all in your shit. I liked Hugo Weaving better as Agent Smith. And the Red Skull.

prommie November 1, 2011 at 3:03 pm

You can't? So its not a good idea, even if I pay with bitcoin? I mean, even if a hypothetical person were to pay with bitcoin?

Limeylizzie November 1, 2011 at 2:41 pm

If anyone gets the urge to join in the festivities, burning Catholics, the best place to do so is Lewes, East Sussex, about 8 miles from Limeylizzie's ancestral home.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lewes_Bonfire

prommie November 1, 2011 at 2:59 pm

If you would rather go to Lewes, Delaware, a bit closer, this weekend happens to be the annual Punkin Chunkin contest, a pumpkin-throwing competition, which involves hundreds of teams which build catapults, trebuchets, onagers, giant slings, and various compressed gas cannons, to see who can throw a pumpkin the furthest. I am hoping to be there, and the Dogfish Head brewery is not far away, too, also.

Limeylizzie November 1, 2011 at 3:09 pm

That sounds really fun and orange. Alas, Prommie, I do not drink , I cannot stand the taste of alcohol.

BaldarTFlagass November 1, 2011 at 3:09 pm

Now that sounds like a fun-filled weekend. Any women with loose morals going to be in attendance, or will it be just a bunch of medieval-weapon/spud-gun geeks?

prommie November 1, 2011 at 3:28 pm

Ladies of easy virtue? I would hope so, but a fat lot of good it would do me anyway, I will be accompanied by the 11-year old Prommie Jr.

TitsAkimbo November 1, 2011 at 5:03 pm

So there IS a dumpster baby!

BaldarTFlagass November 1, 2011 at 2:45 pm

I wonder if the critics of the OWS movement would be more comfortable with the whole thing if the occupiers wore Ronald Reagan masks instead. Bodhi FTW!

Not_So_Much November 1, 2011 at 2:45 pm

No, I think the Natalie Portman movie is the one where she pretends she is Sinead O'Connor so she can seduce British Hitler (who it turns out becomes Darth Vader).

BaldarTFlagass November 1, 2011 at 2:47 pm

I thought she got Jean Reno to teach her to be an assassin so she could assassinate Hitler?

Not_So_Much November 1, 2011 at 3:27 pm

Exactly — Leon-wan Kenobi.

prommie November 1, 2011 at 3:47 pm

I thought she was in love with Timothy Hutton, but she was underage and so she was going to wait till she was old enough?

Not_So_Much November 1, 2011 at 6:30 pm

Yes, but instead she became a lesbian on the side with Meg Griffin from Family Guy. She's multi-talented.

Guppy November 1, 2011 at 2:48 pm

November 5 is a Saturday this year, a day most banks are closed.

Go go libtard planning!

Poindexter718 November 1, 2011 at 2:52 pm

The Jon Waters moustache on the mask is apocryphal and came about as the result of an ahistorical conflation of Guy Fawkes with a radical & politically active modern Papist known as Dirty, Dirty Santorum.

twoeightnine November 1, 2011 at 2:52 pm

How do you get a sack that smooth….

Nevermind, I didn't click.

DahBoner November 1, 2011 at 3:17 pm

"How do you get a sack that smooth…. "

I SHAVED MY BALLS FOR THIS????

El Pinche November 1, 2011 at 3:28 pm

Years of practicing on balloons.

coolhandnuke November 1, 2011 at 2:54 pm

Mario is drinking a Rolling Rock.
Guy Fawkes died at 33.
The "33" on the Rolling Rock label.
Coincidence?

TitsAkimbo November 1, 2011 at 5:04 pm

Biere 33?

Terry November 1, 2011 at 2:58 pm

"Guy Fawkes was a religious extremist and fundamentalist terrorist — basically, a right-wing theocratic Catholic nut. "

Catholics actually WERE taking a literal and figurative beating in England during that period, unlike the fundies in the US today. Trying to blow up Parliment wasn't the best of ideas, but the people behind the Gunpowder Plot did have some justification behind their views and feelings.

vulpes82 November 1, 2011 at 3:15 pm

And the Protestants had some justification for fearing a Catholic takeover, considering Bloody Mary and the constant Catholic plots for insurrection and coup. It was the Cirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrcle of Hate, and it moves us alllllllllllllllllllllllllll…….

Terry November 1, 2011 at 3:20 pm

True. If only Catherine of Aragon had given birth to a son and not forced Henry to start boning Anne Boleyn.

ManchuCandidate November 1, 2011 at 2:59 pm

All those retailers stuck with stuck with those masks are Fawked.

actor212 November 1, 2011 at 3:08 pm

Worse. Guy Fawked, like in the prison shower

actor212 November 1, 2011 at 3:05 pm

Ken, it creeps you out because it looks like Steve Forbes' death mask. Fess up.

PhilippePetain November 1, 2011 at 3:12 pm

It's over, it's over
The end of Cocktober

Pat_Pending November 1, 2011 at 6:13 pm

Oh heck, that's right! Good thing that Herm Cain thing got squeezed in right at the end…

tessiee November 1, 2011 at 10:05 pm

I see what you did there.

Guppy November 1, 2011 at 3:12 pm

Everything I need to know about Guy Fawkes Day I learned from watching Daria.

vulpes82 November 1, 2011 at 3:16 pm

Lala la la la…

Oblios_Cap November 1, 2011 at 3:18 pm

Fawkes wasn't really a bad sort; he was just misunderstood.

Or so I'm led to believe.

Angry_Marmot November 2, 2011 at 5:02 am

Poor soul, he was just too high strung.

metamarcisf November 1, 2011 at 3:19 pm

Headline of the day (Washington Post):

"Santorum strategist urges Cain to come clean"

fuflans November 1, 2011 at 11:07 pm

god santorum is STILL in this?!?! talk about beating a dead horse.

or something.

BigDumbRedDog November 1, 2011 at 3:23 pm

Guy Fawkes? You guys can't fool me. That name has to be made up!

Generation[redacted] November 1, 2011 at 3:43 pm

His real name is Guy Smiley.

Allmighty_Manos November 1, 2011 at 3:28 pm

I think Fawkes' popularity has more to do with his resemblance to the Zig Zag man (or one of the Dutch Masters) than anything to do with English history.

An_Outhouse November 1, 2011 at 3:42 pm

I don't get it. Why does the Guy want to fuck a mask?

Limeylizzie November 1, 2011 at 3:44 pm

Are you a good kisser? That has been known to work.

prommie November 1, 2011 at 5:11 pm

Awwww, you're making me blush.

Limeylizzie November 1, 2011 at 5:21 pm

Nah, you're a lawyer, you can't blush.

ShaveTheWhales November 1, 2011 at 3:54 pm

Motto for the next Paulista "money petard":

"A silver dime for the old guy".

muthalovin November 1, 2011 at 4:07 pm

Well, I am glad that is all cleared up.

What can Wonkers tell me about the Scream mask all them kids was wearing last night?

Ken Layne November 1, 2011 at 4:24 pm

We live in a Time of Emotional Terrorism. Childhood is now (again) just preparation for Horrible Death …

I have no idea, but it's horrible and it makes little kids cry. Is Edvard Munch getting royalties for these things, in Hell?

muthalovin November 1, 2011 at 4:45 pm

If you can get royalties in hell, I can't wait!

finallyhappy November 1, 2011 at 4:46 pm

I never really got why in V for Vendetta the main character made Natalie one of those summer camp cook out eggs-tear the middle out a piece of white bread, put it in a pan with melted butter and put an egg in the hole in the bread. Did it have some deeper meaning?

BaldarTFlagass November 1, 2011 at 7:12 pm

The National Egg Council of Britain threw in a couple hundred pounds for a little product placement.

Angry_Marmot November 2, 2011 at 5:15 am

Toad in the Hole was childhood comfort food, nothing more, except as contrast with Evie's exploitation by the rest of society. (In the novel, she was out working the street when V rescued her; another of those alterations made by Hollywood.)

TitsAkimbo November 1, 2011 at 5:08 pm

Oh for Fawkes sake…

JackDempsey1 November 1, 2011 at 5:44 pm

I predict that these mask-wearing boobs will be punshed by a vindictive Catholic God in the movie sequel "U is for Uppity-ness."

Pat_Pending November 1, 2011 at 6:10 pm

They'll have to pry my Janet Reno mask out of my cold dead fingers…

Pat_Pending November 1, 2011 at 6:11 pm

And the 'Guy Fawkers'? I clicked. Meh. I'll survive with my libido intact. If I can remember where I put it…

ttommyunger November 1, 2011 at 7:41 pm

Soooo, I'm guessing the guy behind the mask going for the ass-grope is our own Hermie, right?

Nesnora November 1, 2011 at 8:15 pm

You got it wrong- I was too busy getting my paladin melee hit-rating up over 8% to waste precious time bothering with silly movies in 2007.

Ron Paul? I didn't read about him in "The Old Gods and the Ordering of Azeroth"…

Come here a minute November 1, 2011 at 8:56 pm

Here is a band with two drummers that you'll have to admit are not fucking up too bad.

rocktonsam November 1, 2011 at 9:54 pm

racism has never been funny,

never

Angry_Marmot November 2, 2011 at 5:20 am

Not even Dave Chapelle as a blind klansman?

tessiee November 1, 2011 at 10:02 pm

That picture of Dubya reminded me of how gross he is. Apparently, I'd forgotten.

Mumbly_Occupado November 1, 2011 at 3:28 pm

That is almost, but not quite, as good as the story of the Shakers, who exploded during one of the 19th-century Evangelical revivals, but then vanished just as quickly. The problem? Shakers believed that all sexual relations -including marital relations- was a sin. And thus, there was nobody around to make new Shakers. Plus, that thing about it not being all that fun.

vulpes82 November 1, 2011 at 3:40 pm

They made some damn fine furniture, though! I guess if the only way you could play with some wood was to make a table, then, damnit, you make some fine-ass tables. And at least they got to dance!

prommie November 1, 2011 at 4:36 pm

California Quakers, of which Nixon was, are a different variety from the eastern pacifist quakers.

TitsAkimbo November 1, 2011 at 4:50 pm

I thought burning them was part of discovery, not punishment.?

MaxNeanderthal November 1, 2011 at 5:02 pm

Sorry, but it's BB all the way…

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