crazy canucks

Toronto Mayor Calls 911 In Panic After Comedian Tries To Interview Him

This is what terrorism looks like in Canada.Well, now we’ve learned who the mayor of Toronto is! One “Rob Ford,” a hated geezer conservative tyrant according to the all-knowing “brief Google Search” who flew into profanity-laced hysterics on the phone with 911 dispatchers after a teevee comedian lady from a Canadian political parody show turned up in his driveway with her cameraperson and tried to interview him as he was getting in his car. Ford ran and hid like a shivering goat and called police — twice — allegedly yelling at the operators, “You … bitches! Don’t you f—ing know? I’m Rob f—ing Ford, the mayor of this city!”  Such hockey language! And here we thought Canada was just a kingdom of pleasant goofballs. There goes that Dream.

OH WELL, the important thing is that Toronto is now having a hearty chuckle at their idiot mayor, for being terrified of a middle-aged lady asking him funny questions.

From the Globe And Mail:

“I didn’t know who they were and obviously we’ve had death threats. There was a camera and a mike. It wasn’t any of you guys so I knew,” [Ford] said [to reporters].

The show had crossed a line by showing up at his house, he said.

“My kids and my wife are the closest things to me and I’ll do anything to protect them.”

Ah yes, the well-known “camera and mike” brutal murder weapons those comedians love so much. You can see the video of the exchange here. [Globe And Mail via Crooks and Liars]

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  1. Barb

    What's all this aboot?
    Laughing at Canadians is fun because they think of we Americans as "upper Mexicans" anyway.

      1. Barb

        I had a Canadian friend who stopped speaking to me because I teased him that they could only wear short shorts 4 weeks out of the year. It was SO worth it!

    1. Guppy

      At least it means we can get decent Mexican cuisine, as opposed to a country where their greatest culinary masterpiece is putting gravy on french fries.

      1. DahBoner

        And the surprising thing is that they think American tourists should eat this when there, because it's good or something???

    2. Dashboard_Jesus

      yeah but I LOVE how Canuckistanis get to laugh right in the faces of their douchebag politicians…too bad we can't get someone like this delightful Marg to get in the faces of the political whores in US Congress…of course they'd probably have Marg arrested/ shot as a *terrorist*…at least the Canuckistani politicians have a sense of humor (she really is god, check this out!)

      22 Minutes: Marg Delahunty Montage

      1. Negropolis

        We do have someone that laughs right in the faces of our douchebag politicians. His name is Stephen Colbert, and he was even formally invited to make fun of Congress during a congressional hearing in migrant workers. That's not even to mention when Jay, and Dave, and Jimmy and the rest send out their silly employees to harass politicians on the campaign trail.

        1. Tundra Grifter

          Then Mr. Colbert really surprised 'em with thoughtful, accurate, detailed, compassionate testimony.

        2. Dashboard_Jesus

          yeah well I've never seen any of them get to just walk around the halls of Congress with a mike and camera and literally grab the political douchebags and make fun of them DIRECTLY in their face like Marg does…Colbert is awesome but he doesn't get to do THAT!

  2. the_problem_child

    “You … bitches! Don’t you f—ing know? I’m Rob f—ing Ford, the mayor of this city!” Pretty much sums up this gigantic douche.

    Also, not hockey language. Hockey players say "frigging". (They are innocent of what it actually means.)

    1. ShaveTheWhales

      I found this amazing. While it's fairly common to hear (or read) references to other people along the lines of Ronald Fucking Reagan, or Jesus Fucking Christ, it's quite remarkable to see someone give his own name with the interlocutory f-word. Unless, I suppose, if it's actually his middle name.

      Now that I think about it, I may have shortchanged my kids.

    1. WABishop

      "You need me, Springfield. Your guilty conscience may force you to vote Democratic, but deep down inside you secretly long for a cold hearted Republican to lower taxes, brutalize criminals and rule you like a king! That's why I did this! To protect you from yourselves! Now if you don't mind, I have a city to run."

      1. the_problem_child

        Didn't we both do that during the Stueff retard Wonkette crisis? Still waiting for my call-back.

          1. Dok-cupy Everything

            Kids today, I tells ya. Why, I bet some of 'em don't even know to whom all our base are belong.

      1. Guppy

        No thanks, I think I prefer not having the state that gave us Sarah Palin connected to the rest of the country.

      1. tessiee

        I'm afraid you are mistaken. The article specifically stated Toronto, which is a suburb of Detroit.

    1. DahBoner

      Fun Fact: 90% of all Canadians live within 50 miles of the US border, because they love Americans so much!

      1. GunToting[Redacted]

        I thought it was because the remainder of the country was an inhospitable, Hoth-like wasteland. I mean, if the farthest south you can go in your own country is the equivalent of Buffalo, wouldn't you be massing on the Southern border as well?

  3. flamingpdog

    “I didn’t know who they were and obviously we’ve had death threats."

    OK, a mayor in Afghanistan I can understand. But a mayor in Canuckistan??

    1. Jukesgrrl

      The dramas aren't anything to sneeze at either. DaVinci's Inquest was one of my favorite programs of recent years. Great writing, brilliant acting, and government subsidies, too!

  4. fuflans

    he's a bagger right?

    i mean i think i knew that but – his girth, his white whiteness, the trailer trash house, the fear of actual constituents…

    yeah, bagger.

    1. AnAmericanInTO

      Oh, he's totally a bagger. Officially, he doesn't belong to a party, but he's a cut the waste-privatize everything-yea big business guy. And he's a total douche.

      So, yeah.

  5. OneDollarJuana

    "…obviously we’ve had death threats…"

    What a dick. You'd think he'd be used to them by now.

    1. JustPixelz

      Canadian death threats are so polite.

      "So, if you don't mind standing still at noon in front of the Tim Hortons, I'll be shooting you. What's that? Oh, forgot. I don't have a gun because Canada isn't insane. So … could you please go to Arizona? It would so much more convenient for me. Thank you. Have nice day."

  6. JackObin

    I don't know who this clown is, but his city is far better than anything down here in Doritoland. It just goes to show how irrelevant politicians are.

  7. Negropolis

    Dude is a total Canadian teabagger. How someone like that was elected the mayor of their nation's largest, most important city is beyond me. It's be like a slightly more accomplished Samuel-not-the-Plumber becoming mayor of New York City.

    BTW, love the show the few times I've seen it online. She even ambushed Sarah Palin which is enough all by itself to make me a fan.

      1. AnAmericanInTO

        To be fair, everyone hates his fat ass now. He ran on let's cut spending everywhere under the mistaken impression that the city had nightly coke and hooker parties that could be cut. So he decided to cut libraries (and making little girls cry in the process) and public transit (which is already up shit creek anyway). And deciding to go to his cottage rather than the Gay Pride parade, because the queers didn't vote for him anyhow, didn't help either.

        It's worth it to read the Toronto Star's daily headlines about how much everyone hates his guts. In fact, this little escapade is virtually the entire front page of the paper today – with an additional section inside.


    1. Dashboard_Jesus

      srsly, I just asked my good Pakistani/ Canuckistani friend in TO how the hell this guy got elected mayor, in one of the most progressive large cities I've ever had the pleasure of visiting (hell I was even thinking of MOVING there!)

      1. revmod

        His election was hilariously juxtaposed against Canada's redneck capital, Calgary, electing North America's first Muslim mayor (and worse, a tweedy academic) just a week previous.

        Honestly, there are better and more progressive towns in this country – keep looking.

        1. Chet Kincaid

          Really, in Calgary? Land of well-fed sexy cowgirls and Murdoch-esque daily organs? A Muslim mayor? And a douchebag mayor in Toronto? What has gotten into the water supply up there?

  8. JoshuaNorton

    “You … bitches! Don’t you f—ing know? I’m Rob f—ing Ford, the mayor of this city!”

    Wow! It sounds like a romance novel.

    1. Dashboard_Jesus

      my good Pakistani friend in TO says the t-shirts are already selling like, well, hotcakes!

  9. flamingpdog

    “You … bitches! Don’t you f—ing know? I’m Rob f—ing Ford, the mayor of this city!”

    Now that's what I'd call Fording a stream … of profanity.

  10. fuflans

    for some reason this reminds me of an ancient distant memory: shrieking at, climbing trees with, flirting with, some second cousin of mine in a park somewhere in ontario. (hamilton?? stratford??).

    i have nothing but the fondest memories of canada.

    1. Numbat_Dundee

      I thought flirting with second cousins was an Appalachian thing. Though perhaps they do it in Newfoundland. They certainly do it in Tasmania, when they're not getting off looking at maps of their island.

  11. OneDollarJuana

    Apropos of nothing, I just noticed that Scott Walker and Rick Santorum could have been separated at birth. Coincidence?

  12. Negropolis

    While the CBC is standing by its story that Mr. Ford called dispatchers “bitches,” the mayor denied much of the story to reporters on Thursday afternoon.

    “It was inaccurate,” Mr. Ford said of the report following a football game featuring the Don Bosco Eagles, the team he coaches. “I didn’t use the ‘bitch’ word or whatever they said.”

    LOL! This guy is fucking comedy gold. Who says "the 'bitch' word"? lol The whole point of qualifying it with using the word "word" is so you don't have to say the offending term. "effing" idiot, this one.

    1. Guppy

      Perhaps he really is using "the bitch word" as a euphemism. Which begs the question "What is the bitch word?" "Menses?" "Please?"

    2. emmelemm

      Don't they have the miraculous invention of audio taping 911 calls up in Canuckistan? Roll the tape, bitches!

      1. AnAmericanInTO

        Apparently, Ford himself has to approve the release of the tapes. The press, of course, wants this to happen so that truth wins out and there isn't any confusion over what happened.

        Screw that. We want to hear it for the cry baby lolz.

  13. NorthStarSpanx

    For baggers with still spines and convicted(tion) they sure run and hide on the bus when confronted with the unknown. Just the sort of leadership style we all look for in North America.

    Sarah Palin did it as McCain's running mate rolling into new towns – she was afraid to get photo's and associate with unvetted Republicans (ironic right?)

    Michele couldn't get off the bus or would flee from a restroom dialing 911.

    Cantor won't show up unless it's a guaranteed friendly audience.

    1. tessiee

      If I didn't know better, I'd think they had enough self-knowledge to realize that they can't function outside their echo chamber bubble, but of course they don't. They are all, every last one of them, cringingly terrified, gutless cowards.

    1. Guppy

      I'm a fucking American, for fuck's sake! I don't have to give a flying fuck who the fuck Rob fucking Ford is!

  14. Jukesgrrl

    His mother might as well have named him Rob Fucking Ford because that's how he'll be known forever more. "Oh, you mean Rob Ford of the Fucking-Fords. Why didn't you say so?"

  15. PuckStopsHere

    Sidebar headline on Globe n Mail page containing the Ford item: "Canada's Homicide Rate Hits 44-Year Low." Death threats, indeed.

        1. Guppy

          And this is why you never try to get involved in the democratic process. No good deed goes unpunished, especially where "civic duty" is concerned.

  16. bumfug

    " I’ll do anything to protect them.”
    Anything but face down a middle-aged woman with a camera crew. In that case, I'll cry like a baby for some real men to rescue me.

  17. user-of-owls

    Anyone who can rile Canadians up so much that they receive death threats, well, that's got to be one heroically venal prick.

  18. ManchuCandidate

    This summer, Doofus Mayor Rob Ford and his even fatter brother (councilor) went to NFL commissioner to not ask, but DEMAND an NFL franchise for Torannah. After dealing with the likes of Jerry Jones and Zombie Al Davis, the NFL commish laughed the two dimwits out of town.

    1. Indiepalin

      So they get the Bills – Redskins game this Sunday at the Rogers Center. The only place more sterile might be Calista's uterus.

  19. RadioOcupados

    C'mon, lets be fair, teevee comedian lady is pretty scary. But then again I'm terrified of Count Chocula.

  20. Guppy

    Recording equipment is the most lethal weapon allowed by Her Majesty's law, thanks to their lack of Jesus' own Second Amendment.

  21. Dok-cupy Everything

    I didn’t know who they were and obviously we’ve had death threats. There was a camera and a mike.

    Well, yes, most assassins in history have disguised themselves as camera crews. I though everybody knew that.

        1. user-of-owls

          I meant on the receiving end. Lot of damn nerve on that Massoud guy, getting hisself whacked just for to ruin your joke. Harumph!

    1. RadioOcupados

      A Shure SM-57 is a roadworthy and essentially indestructible weapon of audio reproduction. It also very effective in conjunction with a teleprompter.
      (A a public service to the Wonkette, I'm the Neilist of microphone expertise.)

    2. Chichikovovich

      Absolutely. There's the killers of Ahmad Shah Massoud's, and, um, the ones who got that Northern Alliance guy, and then there's the guy in Afghanistan, and then there is the one who was assassinated just before 9-11. It's an epidemic!

  22. Occupy V572

    Nothing in this story or the comments above can convince me that curling is anything but a janitorial competition.

    1. Dok-cupy Everything

      Winning comment from that story:

      "SchadenFord – gaining pleasure by watching Rob Ford make an ass of himself yet again."

    2. fartknocker

      I love Canadian Wonketters. So graphic and poignant in their use of adjectives to describing an asshat.

    3. Negropolis

      Sweet fuck almighty, bitches. It’s hard to know where to fucking begin with this whole Rob fucking Ford/This Hour Has 22 Fucking Minutes/9-fucking-1-fucking-1 controversy. Like so many things involving the mayor of this whole fucking town, this story has layers and layers and layers.

      LOL! "Fuck" is such a cheap word…which is why I'm thankful and proud of being a bargain shopper.

      1. comrad_darkness

        Geography win.

        My similar fav is, what ocean do you end up in if you go east to west through the panama canal?

  23. Chichikovovich

    A bit of subtext: This Hour has 22 minutes is the most popular comedy show in Canada, and has been for over 20 years. The "Marg Delahunty, Warrior Princess" character (played by Mary Walsh) has been a recurring character throughout that time. She's ambushed Chretien, Stockwell Day, Harper, Layton, Duceppe, and basically everyone else. Politicians have learned to take it with good humour. This is as familiar to Canadians as – say – Jay Leno's "talking to people on the street" bits or Letterman's top ten lists are to Americans. Mary Walsh herself is a known TV personality and author.

    To measure this guy's cluelessness, imagine Jay Leno dropped by Bloomberg's residence, and Bloomberg called the dog squad in a desperate panic.

    Whadda maroon.

    1. Mojopo

      She is fearless! Some good clips out there. She crams more into 30 seconds than almost anyone, with 5 times the snark. She gnawed into Chretien like he was corn on the cob. Marg has one volume, too. LOUDER.

      1. revmod

        I find her schtick pretty tired, actually. She seems to be using the form of an interview, but she rarely asks anything of her subjects/victims other than to stand there with an uncomfortable smile while she performs her monolouges about them. I much prefer Rick Mercer's less abusive funny little personal moments with various Canadian politicians.

        That being said, it makes Rob "fat fuck" Ford look even more dim that he couldn't just stand there and play along, given how little was expected of him.

        1. Mojopo

          Meh. I think the point is that she's doing something people respond to. That tired schtick resonates with people and they like her. She's getting away with it.

  24. SayItWithWookies

    If you're going to be afraid of the people who elected you, you've got to think big, politicians. You'll note that Dick Cheney was never elected mayor of Toronto.

  25. ProudLibunatic

    What a wacky town!
    Back when I lived there, the Bare Naked Ladies were denied a city gig because "their band name objectified women." (Yeah, if you're in the 1st grade!)

  26. Guppy

    This is what we need: a random Canadian news bit to let us vent our passionate, irrational rage against the monarchy to the north.

  27. NorbertsRevenge

    If you swim with the sharks, Rob Fucking Ford, sooner or later you're gonna get bitten.

    How Tronna elected this bloated quivering toad does my head in. Fucking 905ers.

  28. schvitzatura

    Kirsten, comp Rob Ford two tickets to the Folger Theatre Othello production, the rollover ad does so much for the above the fold copy of his tale of woe.

    He's gone full Bachmann on the media!

  29. smashedinhat

    Lost in all the snark is the fact that this bloated gas bag has somehow acquired a child. For breakfast. Toronto The Good? I think not.

  30. Come here a minute

    The mayor's reaction is perfectly understandable after Samantha Bee's murderous rampage.

  31. antifauxnews

    you'd think the camera crew had tried to kidnap him and send him to the psych ward near the Elsinore brewery, eh.

  32. Negropolis

    OT: Shit's getting real with Occupy Detroit. They along with a few other community groups blocked one of Detroit's international crossings to protest the billionaire owner of the bridge using his money to block the construction of a publically-owned crossing downriver from his that would produce tens-of-thousands of jobs during its construction and operations. It's both a very local and a very international issue given it's one of the busiest international crossings on the globe:

    Detroit — A large group of protesters temporarily stalled international trade Thursday when they blocked part of the Ambassador Bridge.

    Dozens of protesters from Bridge Watch Detroit, an advocacy group, Occupy Detroit and Good Jobs Now formed a human chain in front of the truck entrance to stop their crossing into Canada for about an hour.

    They chanted slogans and hoisted signs to show their opposition to what they call elite business interests blocking a second span that could bring more jobs to the region.

    "This shows how much people are really beginning to be fed up with this 1 percent," said the Rev. Charles Williams II, pastor at Detroit's historic King Solomon Baptist Church and a leader with Good Jobs Now who joined the protest.

    State Rep. Rashida Tlaib, D-Detroit, who represents the Delray area where the proposed new public bridge would be, also participated.

    Detroit police were called to monitor the crowd, but no arrests were made, Sgt. Eren Stephens said.

    The protest came a week after legislation to allow the New International Trade Crossing championed by Gov. Rick Snyder was defeated in a Senate committee.

    Get down with ya' bad self, Detroit. But, how much you want to bet the Department of Homeland Security is going to eventually try and crush the Detroit occupation. Can't be blocking no billionaire's bridge.

    BTW, you guys should look out for state rep. Rashida Tlaib; I think you're going to be hearing a lot more of her in the not-to-distant future.

    1. Mumbletypeg

      "protest the billionaire owner of the bridge using his money to block the construction of a publically-owned crossing "

      Ugh, do you mean that Maroun guy? I am totally unfamiliar with, and live nowhere close to Michigan, but that guy's crimes against property-upkeep*, as chronically documented and circulated in the blogosphere, left a vivid impression on my psyche. Thoroughly haunting stuff.

      *not sure what else to call it. Property stewardship? I don't believe he had anything to do with whatever led to the damage to the surplus materials, just that he's sitting on all of it rather than doing anything to clean up the mess. A sinister analogy for lots of what's wrong with our corporate strangleholds structures.

    2. Dok-cupy Everything

      Blocking international trade and a rich dude's plan to further enrich himself? Why, that's TERRISM! Especially the second one.

    3. donner_froh

      I missed this one completely due largely with my inability to tolerate the hyper-democratic General Assembly meetings where it was decided. Old people like me know we are going to die a lot sooner than the young'uns who are the heart of the Occupy movement (and who take most the casualties) and aren't patient enough for meetings where everyone votes on everything.

      The truck entrance to the bridge was a perfect target. Matty Maroun is a perfect example of entrenched privilege whose company have forcibly relocated hundreds of people, demolished their homes and disrupted their lives.

      1. Chichikovovich

        Also, there is not a single person in Michigan who doesn't think the new bridge is a fabulous and absolutely necessary idea, except: 1) Maroun, who makes tons of money with an essential monopoly on commercial traffic across his poorly maintained, frankly scary to cross bridge. [There is a tunnel, but a lot of commercial traffic can't use it.] 2) The state legislators he has bought (the sheer corruption of this is shocking. People aren't even trying to hide it.) 3) Hired Maroun hacks like the chair of the economics department of Hillsdale "College", who can't do any better than pablum like "Do you want the DMV to run your bridge? Haw Haw. [That's a new one.] And look at the big dig in Boston – way overbudget! [Yep, 'cause a bridge – of which tens of thousands have been built over centuries so the projections can be made confidently – is just like an unprecedentedly large project to tunnel under a huge body of water] and the Mackinac bridge too. [So you're saying we shouldn't have built the Mackinac bridge? We should still be connected to the UP by ferries? A bold position.]" Canada is willing to front most of the money, to be repaid from future tolls. It will mean jobs. It will mean more trade and commercial activity in Detroit, which desperately needs it. Much of the US share will be covered by the Feds. The *Republican* governor is energetically in favour of it. The person we are entrusting a major commercial artery to – Maroun – is a shameless scofflaw, who has opened illegal duty free shops, illegally rerouted traffic to pass it through his illegal duty-free gas pumps, has ignored subpoenas, and – well, I could go on and on. To repeat: It is genuinely unbelievable how obviously corruptly the legislature is acting. If OWW is tackling this, good for them. They have made a spectacularly wise PR choice. The more sunshine this gets the better.

    4. Negropolis

      Yep, you guys know the deal. Matty is the C. Montgomery Burns of Detroit. The OWS movement is almost tailored made to fit this guy's crimes. I mean, the guy is almost cartoonishly evil in his brazen boldness, ignoring court orders and the like. Usually, on guys like this there is some kind of nuance to the story, but this guy is almost singularly evil.

      The guy is simuntaneously arguing that the two countries don't need another crossing at Detroit, and then building a approach for a second bridge next to his own…one that won't ever make it over the river because Canada will never allow him on their side of the river, again (good on you, Canada, for saying no). The guy is known as the troll under the bridge for a reason. How he's been able to block progress of nearly a decade on this is beyond me. The only body in the entire state with a say in this against the New International Trade Crossing/Detroit River International Crossing are the Republicans in the legislature, particularly in the Senate. They've been so brazenly bought-and-paid for it's not even funny.

  33. weejee

    For years we've tried to get the US Navy to move all their stuff to the Great Lakes. Being in fresh water would greatly reduce their maintenance bill. Plus you never know when Dudley Do-Right, and the rest of his thugnacious hyphenated last namers, might come marching south.

    1. BaldarTFlagass

      Not gonna happen. Can't water ski or scuba-dive year-round up there, like you can in the North Arabian Sea or the Persian Gulf. Plus, not enough browns to bomb.

  34. DahBoner

    " And here we thought Canada was just a kingdom of pleasant goofballs. There goes that Dream."

    Hell to the Zed!

  35. neiltheblaze

    The death threats will likely stop now that everyone knows he can probably be given a heart attack by some kids' Jesusween costume.

  36. not that Dewey

    OT: Liberal PBS News Hour decided to run a pro-income-inequality piece, presumably to correct all their miguided viewers on this subject. All these years, I foolishly thought people should not be starving and living in misery, but apparently I was wrong! Thanks, PBS!

  37. actor212

    Wow. How often do I get to post the same comment in consecutive threads?

    K, here goes..*ahem*

    "The obvious solution is to go out and buy cameras that are cleverly concealed as gunsights, then claim the GOP legislators ordered them. "

  38. berkeleyfarm

    He's in Canadian politics and he doesn't know of Marg Delahunty? Damn, talk about stupid and self-absorbed. "This Hour Has 22 Minutes" was (not sure if it still is) on nationwide teevee for years. My belle-soeur (who lives in Winterpeg) used to tape episodes for my ex so he could get his political sarcasm fix "in exile" fifteen years ago. I became a fan myself.

  39. ttommyunger

    Somehow it's comforting to see that American voters aren't the only ones totally fucked in the head.

  40. Dok-cupy Everything

    Being Canadian is like living next door to the Simpsons. Here are all these patient, sensible, kind people (I swear, their real national motto is "Now, let's not get excited") living right next to "the States," where some hideously noisy psychodrama is always going on.

    –Molly Ivins

    (I always assumed she meant the neighbors on the right side of the street. No one would ever accuse Canada of being Ned Flanders, by golly.)

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