CRAZY CANUCKS  10:09 pm October 27, 2011

Toronto Mayor Calls 911 In Panic After Comedian Tries To Interview Him

by Kirsten Boyd Johnson

This is what terrorism looks like in Canada.Well, now we’ve learned who the mayor of Toronto is! One “Rob Ford,” a hated geezer conservative tyrant according to the all-knowing “brief Google Search” who flew into profanity-laced hysterics on the phone with 911 dispatchers after a teevee comedian lady from a Canadian political parody show turned up in his driveway with her cameraperson and tried to interview him as he was getting in his car. Ford ran and hid like a shivering goat and called police — twice — allegedly yelling at the operators, “You … bitches! Don’t you f—ing know? I’m Rob f—ing Ford, the mayor of this city!”  Such hockey language! And here we thought Canada was just a kingdom of pleasant goofballs. There goes that Dream.

OH WELL, the important thing is that Toronto is now having a hearty chuckle at their idiot mayor, for being terrified of a middle-aged lady asking him funny questions.

From the Globe And Mail:

“I didn’t know who they were and obviously we’ve had death threats. There was a camera and a mike. It wasn’t any of you guys so I knew,” [Ford] said [to reporters].

The show had crossed a line by showing up at his house, he said.

“My kids and my wife are the closest things to me and I’ll do anything to protect them.”

Ah yes, the well-known “camera and mike” brutal murder weapons those comedians love so much. You can see the video of the exchange here. [Globe And Mail via Crooks and Liars]

 
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{ 251 comments }

Barb October 27, 2011 at 10:11 pm

What's all this aboot?
Laughing at Canadians is fun because they think of we Americans as "upper Mexicans" anyway.

OneDollarJuana October 27, 2011 at 10:29 pm

I calls 'em "snowbacks".

TitsAkimbo October 27, 2011 at 10:49 pm

Frostbacks.

Barb October 27, 2011 at 10:49 pm

Hilarious!
I had a Canadian friend who stopped speaking to me because I teased him that they could only wear short shorts 4 weeks out of the year. It was SO worth it!

DahBoner October 28, 2011 at 8:31 am

Them snowbacks always coming here and turning up their noses at our health care "system"…

ManchuCandidate October 27, 2011 at 10:50 pm

I've heard US Americans calling us Canada City people, Snow Nearers.

DahBoner October 28, 2011 at 8:33 am

Except up in the far north of Saskatchewan, where they're know as Snow Far, Snow Gooders….

RadioOcupados October 27, 2011 at 10:59 pm

Defend the Northern Border!!1!

DahBoner October 28, 2011 at 8:33 am

All them people sneaking across to read our American magazines at bookstores…

SudsMcKenzie October 27, 2011 at 11:28 pm

"Upper Mexicans", … that's why I make my taco's with hot dogs.

Barb October 27, 2011 at 11:55 pm

We are also "skinny bacon lovers" and "Gretzky snatchers"

Guppy October 28, 2011 at 12:41 am

At least it means we can get decent Mexican cuisine, as opposed to a country where their greatest culinary masterpiece is putting gravy on french fries.

DahBoner October 28, 2011 at 8:34 am

And the surprising thing is that they think American tourists should eat this when there, because it's good or something???

WABishop October 28, 2011 at 11:20 am

Two words, my friend: butter tarts and nanaimo bars. Look 'em up, then weep at their absence.

Dashboard_Jesus October 28, 2011 at 12:55 am

yeah but I LOVE how Canuckistanis get to laugh right in the faces of their douchebag politicians…too bad we can't get someone like this delightful Marg to get in the faces of the political whores in US Congress…of course they'd probably have Marg arrested/ shot as a *terrorist*…at least the Canuckistani politicians have a sense of humor (she really is god, check this out!)

22 Minutes: Marg Delahunty Montage http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r55aONsoIlw

Negropolis October 28, 2011 at 2:42 am

We do have someone that laughs right in the faces of our douchebag politicians. His name is Stephen Colbert, and he was even formally invited to make fun of Congress during a congressional hearing in migrant workers. That's not even to mention when Jay, and Dave, and Jimmy and the rest send out their silly employees to harass politicians on the campaign trail.

tessiee October 28, 2011 at 9:45 am

"to harass politicians on the campaign trail"

Or, in Newt's case, on the tail trail.

Tundra Grifter October 28, 2011 at 12:48 pm

Then Mr. Colbert really surprised 'em with thoughtful, accurate, detailed, compassionate testimony.

Dashboard_Jesus October 28, 2011 at 11:49 pm

yeah well I've never seen any of them get to just walk around the halls of Congress with a mike and camera and literally grab the political douchebags and make fun of them DIRECTLY in their face like Marg does…Colbert is awesome but he doesn't get to do THAT!

iburl October 28, 2011 at 3:27 am

Sureños del Norte o Norteños del Sur?

Tundra Grifter October 28, 2011 at 12:47 pm

Eh?

Callyson October 27, 2011 at 10:14 pm

Bitch better send my security.

the_problem_child October 27, 2011 at 10:19 pm

“You … bitches! Don’t you f—ing know? I’m Rob f—ing Ford, the mayor of this city!” Pretty much sums up this gigantic douche.

Also, not hockey language. Hockey players say "frigging". (They are innocent of what it actually means.)

ShaveTheWhales October 28, 2011 at 3:14 am

I found this amazing. While it's fairly common to hear (or read) references to other people along the lines of Ronald Fucking Reagan, or Jesus Fucking Christ, it's quite remarkable to see someone give his own name with the interlocutory f-word. Unless, I suppose, if it's actually his middle name.

Now that I think about it, I may have shortchanged my kids.

WABishop October 28, 2011 at 11:24 am

"Rob Fucking Ford" is going to now be my epithet of choice.

OccupytheDashboard October 28, 2011 at 12:31 pm

Ron Fucking Ford in a Chevy…that guy is an asshole!

Crank_Tango October 28, 2011 at 12:22 pm

"I'm Ron Fucking Swanson."

fuflans October 27, 2011 at 10:23 pm

how do you blame canada for this?

ShaveTheWhales October 28, 2011 at 3:15 am

Like this: Canada Nyah, nyah, nyah, Rob Fucking Ford, nyah, nyah, nyah.

Not_So_Much October 28, 2011 at 9:41 am

Leave Lou Sarah alone!11!1!!

WABishop October 28, 2011 at 11:23 am

"You need me, Springfield. Your guilty conscience may force you to vote Democratic, but deep down inside you secretly long for a cold hearted Republican to lower taxes, brutalize criminals and rule you like a king! That's why I did this! To protect you from yourselves! Now if you don't mind, I have a city to run."

BarackMyWorld October 27, 2011 at 10:23 pm

Does Wonkette have an international (dirty foreigners) desk now?

the_problem_child October 27, 2011 at 10:25 pm

No, but it should.

ManchuCandidate October 27, 2011 at 11:07 pm

Shit, I'll volunteer.

the_problem_child October 27, 2011 at 11:13 pm

Didn't we both do that during the Stueff retard Wonkette crisis? Still waiting for my call-back.

user-of-owls October 27, 2011 at 11:30 pm

Geez, doesn't anyone study our glorious past?

Dok-cupy Everything October 28, 2011 at 12:04 am

Kids today, I tells ya. Why, I bet some of 'em don't even know to whom all our base are belong.

ColonelDoctor October 27, 2011 at 10:24 pm

Wait. What? Canada?

unclejeems October 28, 2011 at 3:10 am

Fifty-four forty or fight.

Guppy October 28, 2011 at 10:33 am

No thanks, I think I prefer not having the state that gave us Sarah Palin connected to the rest of the country.

Serolf_Divad October 28, 2011 at 7:09 am

It's a town in Maine, if I'm not mistaken.

tessiee October 28, 2011 at 9:47 am

I'm afraid you are mistaken. The article specifically stated Toronto, which is a suburb of Detroit.

Chet Kincaid October 28, 2011 at 1:51 pm

Buy a map! Toronto is a suburb of Buffalo.

DahBoner October 28, 2011 at 8:30 am

Fun Fact: 90% of all Canadians live within 50 miles of the US border, because they love Americans so much!

GunToting[Redacted] October 28, 2011 at 10:00 am

I thought it was because the remainder of the country was an inhospitable, Hoth-like wasteland. I mean, if the farthest south you can go in your own country is the equivalent of Buffalo, wouldn't you be massing on the Southern border as well?

BerkeleyBear October 28, 2011 at 2:18 pm

Vancouver is much nicer than Buffalo (but otherwise your surmise is correct).

OneDollarJuana October 27, 2011 at 10:24 pm

And here I was under the delusion that all Canadians were polite.

the_problem_child October 27, 2011 at 10:32 pm

Umm. No.

ManchuCandidate October 27, 2011 at 11:20 pm

See Cherry, Don.

BerkeleyBear October 28, 2011 at 2:18 pm

I'd rather not. His jackets make my eyes bleed.

WABishop October 28, 2011 at 11:28 am

Fuck you, you fucking fuck!!!

Um, sorry about that. I'm having a rough day.

Chichikovovich October 28, 2011 at 12:01 pm

C'mon Billy. Save it for the Hun.

flamingpdog October 27, 2011 at 10:25 pm

“I didn’t know who they were and obviously we’ve had death threats."

OK, a mayor in Afghanistan I can understand. But a mayor in Canuckistan??

NorthStarSpanx October 27, 2011 at 10:35 pm

Don't you mean Canuck, Canuck, Canucky, stan-stan?

BarackMyWorld October 27, 2011 at 10:39 pm

He obviously thought the video camera was a rocket launcher.

GunToting[Redacted] October 28, 2011 at 10:01 am

Bruce Cockburn libel!

donner_froh October 27, 2011 at 10:26 pm

"This Hour has 22 Minutes" is the funniest fucking show since the first year of SCTV. Canadian TeeVee is wonderful.

OneDollarJuana October 27, 2011 at 10:29 pm

Odd how the funniest comedians are either Jews or Canadians.

Numbat_Dundee October 27, 2011 at 10:42 pm

Monty Python were Canadian Jewish lumberjacks (little known fact)

ManchuCandidate October 27, 2011 at 10:54 pm

Oy v'eh!

RadioOcupados October 27, 2011 at 11:01 pm

Comedy has had a great relationship with the blacks, also, too.

ShaveTheWhales October 28, 2011 at 3:17 am

Oh, w'eh'll done.

Dashboard_Jesus October 28, 2011 at 1:01 am

thanks for reminding me of one of my favorite MP bits! (I've been known to sing/ hum/ whistle this tune for days, LITERALLY

Monty Python- Lumberjack Song http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sZa26_esLBE

Occupy V572 October 27, 2011 at 11:14 pm

Don't forget Leonard Cohen. He's "funny" too.

ShaveTheWhales October 28, 2011 at 3:18 am

Now you funny too.

Negropolis October 28, 2011 at 2:43 am

Or both.

Jukesgrrl October 27, 2011 at 10:46 pm

The dramas aren't anything to sneeze at either. DaVinci's Inquest was one of my favorite programs of recent years. Great writing, brilliant acting, and government subsidies, too!

Dashboard_Jesus October 28, 2011 at 12:58 am

Marg is AWESOME!

22 Minutes: Marg Delahunty Montage ~ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r55aONsoIlw

Toomush_Infer October 28, 2011 at 11:51 am

Wow!!!!…

fuflans October 27, 2011 at 10:26 pm

he's a bagger right?

i mean i think i knew that but – his girth, his white whiteness, the trailer trash house, the fear of actual constituents…

yeah, bagger.

NorthStarSpanx October 27, 2011 at 10:45 pm

At least he didn't freak-out with his obviously insecure inadequacies and tell her they should privatize their health care system. . .

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DC8w4DE2CwM&fe

dennis1943 October 28, 2011 at 5:10 am

I didn't know Toronto had any houses that were more horizontal than vertical………..

AnAmericanInTO October 28, 2011 at 10:14 am

Oh, he's totally a bagger. Officially, he doesn't belong to a party, but he's a cut the waste-privatize everything-yea big business guy. And he's a total douche.

So, yeah.

Chet Kincaid October 28, 2011 at 1:01 pm

Shouldn't that just be "right wing nut" or "oligarch/plutocrat"? "Bagger" would have no meaning up there.

BarackMyWorld October 27, 2011 at 10:27 pm

How do you spell "Canada"?

C-Eh-N-Eh-D-Eh.

JustPixelz October 28, 2011 at 10:07 am

Ca-Nada.

Or to Herman Cain, it's Cainada. Or perhaps Canada-nada-nada-nada-istan-stan.

Toomush_Infer October 28, 2011 at 11:52 am

But it's pronounced "Canada"…

OneDollarJuana October 27, 2011 at 10:27 pm

"…obviously we’ve had death threats…"

What a dick. You'd think he'd be used to them by now.

JustPixelz October 28, 2011 at 10:09 am

Canadian death threats are so polite.

"So, if you don't mind standing still at noon in front of the Tim Hortons, I'll be shooting you. What's that? Oh, forgot. I don't have a gun because Canada isn't insane. So … could you please go to Arizona? It would so much more convenient for me. Thank you. Have nice day."

Toomush_Infer October 28, 2011 at 11:53 am

It's the "obviously" that's so cute….I mean, just look at him….

slowhansolo October 27, 2011 at 10:28 pm

Yeah, yeah. But how's his mullet?

JackObin October 27, 2011 at 10:29 pm

I don't know who this clown is, but his city is far better than anything down here in Doritoland. It just goes to show how irrelevant politicians are.

revmod October 28, 2011 at 9:10 am

He's only had a year to wreck the place – give the man time.

Negropolis October 27, 2011 at 10:29 pm

Dude is a total Canadian teabagger. How someone like that was elected the mayor of their nation's largest, most important city is beyond me. It's be like a slightly more accomplished Samuel-not-the-Plumber becoming mayor of New York City.

BTW, love the show the few times I've seen it online. She even ambushed Sarah Palin which is enough all by itself to make me a fan.

ManchuCandidate October 27, 2011 at 10:45 pm

What happened was Mayor Fatty (notice most of our Cons are rotund?) was up against the John Kerry equivalent of Toronto. Fatty won the dummy vote. The end.

AnAmericanInTO October 28, 2011 at 10:20 am

To be fair, everyone hates his fat ass now. He ran on let's cut spending everywhere under the mistaken impression that the city had nightly coke and hooker parties that could be cut. So he decided to cut libraries (and making little girls cry in the process) and public transit (which is already up shit creek anyway). And deciding to go to his cottage rather than the Gay Pride parade, because the queers didn't vote for him anyhow, didn't help either.

It's worth it to read the Toronto Star's daily headlines about how much everyone hates his guts. In fact, this little escapade is virtually the entire front page of the paper today – with an additional section inside.

Asshole.

NorthStarSpanx October 27, 2011 at 10:46 pm

What the hell was with Sarah's take anyway? Keep the faith? Common sense conservatism?

Dashboard_Jesus October 28, 2011 at 1:05 am

srsly, I just asked my good Pakistani/ Canuckistani friend in TO how the hell this guy got elected mayor, in one of the most progressive large cities I've ever had the pleasure of visiting (hell I was even thinking of MOVING there!)

revmod October 28, 2011 at 9:16 am

His election was hilariously juxtaposed against Canada's redneck capital, Calgary, electing North America's first Muslim mayor (and worse, a tweedy academic) just a week previous.

Honestly, there are better and more progressive towns in this country – keep looking.

Chet Kincaid October 28, 2011 at 1:04 pm

Really, in Calgary? Land of well-fed sexy cowgirls and Murdoch-esque daily organs? A Muslim mayor? And a douchebag mayor in Toronto? What has gotten into the water supply up there?

JoshuaNorton October 27, 2011 at 10:29 pm

“You … bitches! Don’t you f—ing know? I’m Rob f—ing Ford, the mayor of this city!”

Wow! It sounds like a romance novel.

Dashboard_Jesus October 28, 2011 at 1:07 am

my good Pakistani friend in TO says the t-shirts are already selling like, well, hotcakes!

Jukesgrrl October 28, 2011 at 2:01 am

Brilliant, 'eh.

JustPixelz October 28, 2011 at 10:12 am

I used to have a "fucking Ford". It went with my "blowjob Buick". But now I drive an "Oldsmobile".

AlterNewt October 27, 2011 at 10:30 pm

Canada. America's toupee.

mannacler October 27, 2011 at 11:26 pm

What does that make Florida?

WABishop October 28, 2011 at 11:35 am

Florida has always been America's beloved wang.

flamingpdog October 27, 2011 at 10:32 pm

“You … bitches! Don’t you f—ing know? I’m Rob f—ing Ford, the mayor of this city!”

Now that's what I'd call Fording a stream … of profanity.

OzoneTom October 27, 2011 at 10:33 pm

Radio Tea Amerika crosses borders!

ManchuCandidate October 27, 2011 at 10:46 pm

Actually, Teabaggism actually was imported to US America.

See Reform Party of Canada City. The GOP under Newty Toot took a lot of "his" ideas from them.

fuflans October 27, 2011 at 10:34 pm

for some reason this reminds me of an ancient distant memory: shrieking at, climbing trees with, flirting with, some second cousin of mine in a park somewhere in ontario. (hamilton?? stratford??).

i have nothing but the fondest memories of canada.

Numbat_Dundee October 27, 2011 at 10:45 pm

I thought flirting with second cousins was an Appalachian thing. Though perhaps they do it in Newfoundland. They certainly do it in Tasmania, when they're not getting off looking at maps of their island.

fuflans October 27, 2011 at 11:01 pm

i said SECOND cousin.

and 'flirting'.

WABishop October 28, 2011 at 11:38 am

That was your *second* cousin? :-O

OneDollarJuana October 27, 2011 at 10:34 pm

Apropos of nothing, I just noticed that Scott Walker and Rick Santorum could have been separated at birth. Coincidence?

ShaveTheWhales October 28, 2011 at 3:21 am

Not sure, but I wish they had been eviscerated at birth.

owhatever October 27, 2011 at 10:36 pm

Needs moar Sharia law up there in Torontostan.

Negropolis October 27, 2011 at 10:37 pm

Isn't Toronto basically already under Sharia law?

Negropolis October 27, 2011 at 10:36 pm

While the CBC is standing by its story that Mr. Ford called dispatchers “bitches,” the mayor denied much of the story to reporters on Thursday afternoon.

“It was inaccurate,” Mr. Ford said of the report following a football game featuring the Don Bosco Eagles, the team he coaches. “I didn’t use the ‘bitch’ word or whatever they said.”

LOL! This guy is fucking comedy gold. Who says "the 'bitch' word"? lol The whole point of qualifying it with using the word "word" is so you don't have to say the offending term. "effing" idiot, this one.

UW8316154 October 27, 2011 at 11:45 pm

"Bitch-word" – it's like "bitch" is the acceptable stand-in for some uber-awful Canadian epithet.

Barrelhse October 27, 2011 at 11:45 pm

"And I didn't use the 'Cunt' word, either."

Guppy October 28, 2011 at 12:49 am

Perhaps he really is using "the bitch word" as a euphemism. Which begs the question "What is the bitch word?" "Menses?" "Please?"

ShaveTheWhales October 28, 2011 at 3:22 am

He is a fucking-word idiot.

tessiee October 28, 2011 at 9:54 am

Perfect.

emmelemm October 28, 2011 at 4:13 am

Don't they have the miraculous invention of audio taping 911 calls up in Canuckistan? Roll the tape, bitches!

Negropolis October 28, 2011 at 6:39 am

I think they do that everywhere. I, too, am eagerly awaiting the tapes.

A new meme is born.

AnAmericanInTO October 28, 2011 at 10:38 am

Apparently, Ford himself has to approve the release of the tapes. The press, of course, wants this to happen so that truth wins out and there isn't any confusion over what happened.

Screw that. We want to hear it for the cry baby lolz.

gurukalehuru October 28, 2011 at 11:15 am

Note that he does not deny using the fuck word.

fuflans October 27, 2011 at 10:37 pm

also, that is a FINE fairy costume.

NorthStarSpanx October 27, 2011 at 10:39 pm

For baggers with still spines and convicted(tion) they sure run and hide on the bus when confronted with the unknown. Just the sort of leadership style we all look for in North America.

Sarah Palin did it as McCain's running mate rolling into new towns – she was afraid to get photo's and associate with unvetted Republicans (ironic right?)

Michele couldn't get off the bus or would flee from a restroom dialing 911.

Cantor won't show up unless it's a guaranteed friendly audience.

tessiee October 28, 2011 at 9:57 am

If I didn't know better, I'd think they had enough self-knowledge to realize that they can't function outside their echo chamber bubble, but of course they don't. They are all, every last one of them, cringingly terrified, gutless cowards.

ManchuCandidate October 27, 2011 at 10:48 pm

After one year in power, Rob Ford has a popularity of 37% (after a high of 60%.) For some reason this won't help.

Guppy October 28, 2011 at 12:52 am

Hell, he could be governor of Florida with those numbers

Bonzos_Bed_Time October 28, 2011 at 2:58 am

So has he covered up all the bike lanes yet?

Jukesgrrl October 27, 2011 at 10:48 pm

I'm assuming you mean Scott Fucking Walker and Rick Fucking Santorum.

El Pinche October 27, 2011 at 10:51 pm

Apparently you libtard bitches still don't have a clue who Rob FUCKING Ford is !!!1!!

Guppy October 28, 2011 at 12:46 am

I'm a fucking American, for fuck's sake! I don't have to give a flying fuck who the fuck Rob fucking Ford is!

RedAmanda October 29, 2011 at 8:20 am

Obviously, this sorry one-term fuck is your mum.

Jukesgrrl October 27, 2011 at 10:51 pm

His mother might as well have named him Rob Fucking Ford because that's how he'll be known forever more. "Oh, you mean Rob Ford of the Fucking-Fords. Why didn't you say so?"

Dok-cupy Everything October 27, 2011 at 11:42 pm

Our story begins in the arboretum of Fuckingford Manor….

Jukesgrrl October 28, 2011 at 1:59 am

The day Dame Noonington came to call?

Negropolis October 28, 2011 at 2:46 am

Dear Readers,

What joy! Today, I saw a Canadian…

Barrelhse October 27, 2011 at 11:48 pm

Any relation to the Backseat Fucking-Fords?

ShaveTheWhales October 28, 2011 at 3:23 am

Ah, but it's pronounced Tertwilliger-Cuntlap.

ManchuCandidate October 27, 2011 at 10:52 pm

Makes the reign of error of Daily Show favorite punching bag Mega (moron) Mel Lastman look dignified and rationale.

PuckStopsHere October 27, 2011 at 10:52 pm

Sidebar headline on Globe n Mail page containing the Ford item: "Canada's Homicide Rate Hits 44-Year Low." Death threats, indeed.

poncho_pilot October 28, 2011 at 9:50 am

the Canadians don't want to kill just anyone. they want to kill Rob Fucking Ford.

Antispandex October 27, 2011 at 10:53 pm

Death threats. The mayor of Toronto. Well, Ok, sure. I mean I guess it could happen.

Guppy October 28, 2011 at 12:43 am

Those zoning board meetings can get really heated at times.

emmelemm October 28, 2011 at 4:14 am

You think that's funny, but it's not.

/tangentially involved in neighborhood zoning matters

Guppy October 28, 2011 at 9:44 am

And this is why you never try to get involved in the democratic process. No good deed goes unpunished, especially where "civic duty" is concerned.

tessiee October 28, 2011 at 9:58 am

"So, are we talking redistricting or reapportionment… BITCH???"

bumfug October 27, 2011 at 10:58 pm

" I’ll do anything to protect them.”
Anything but face down a middle-aged woman with a camera crew. In that case, I'll cry like a baby for some real men to rescue me.

ShitFilledExistence October 27, 2011 at 11:00 pm

The lady in the pic has a case of 'meat shoulder'. Or is it back bacon? Maybe I'm just hungry.

poncho_pilot October 28, 2011 at 9:52 am

would it be Canadian bacon? great. now i'm hungry.

user-of-owls October 27, 2011 at 11:05 pm

Anyone who can rile Canadians up so much that they receive death threats, well, that's got to be one heroically venal prick.

ManchuCandidate October 27, 2011 at 11:08 pm

Yes, he is a real life Fat Bastard.

ManchuCandidate October 27, 2011 at 11:06 pm

This summer, Doofus Mayor Rob Ford and his even fatter brother (councilor) went to NFL commissioner to not ask, but DEMAND an NFL franchise for Torannah. After dealing with the likes of Jerry Jones and Zombie Al Davis, the NFL commish laughed the two dimwits out of town.

Indiepalin October 27, 2011 at 11:27 pm

So they get the Bills – Redskins game this Sunday at the Rogers Center. The only place more sterile might be Calista's uterus.

Guppy October 28, 2011 at 12:47 am

Oh sweet Jesus I hope she's barren…

tessiee October 28, 2011 at 10:07 am

Yep, dried up like a ten-year-old Tootsie Roll in the desert.

RadioOcupados October 27, 2011 at 11:06 pm

C'mon, lets be fair, teevee comedian lady is pretty scary. But then again I'm terrified of Count Chocula.

Blueb4sunrise October 27, 2011 at 11:07 pm

Wow. Robben Ford has really gone downhill.

Guppy October 27, 2011 at 11:09 pm

Recording equipment is the most lethal weapon allowed by Her Majesty's law, thanks to their lack of Jesus' own Second Amendment.

Guppy October 27, 2011 at 11:09 pm

And at least he didn't tell the dispatchers to ignore any domestic violence calls from his wife.

ManchuCandidate October 27, 2011 at 11:11 pm

It's not an import I'm proud of. US America gave us Koch and all those shitheels trying to tear apart our Universal Healthcare system.

Dok-cupy Everything October 27, 2011 at 11:13 pm

I didn’t know who they were and obviously we’ve had death threats. There was a camera and a mike.

Well, yes, most assassins in history have disguised themselves as camera crews. I though everybody knew that.

user-of-owls October 27, 2011 at 11:21 pm

There's always one asshole who taints an otherwise perfectly lovely bit of sass.

Dok-cupy Everything October 27, 2011 at 11:27 pm

Huh. Apparently there were two of 'em.

user-of-owls October 27, 2011 at 11:33 pm

I meant on the receiving end. Lot of damn nerve on that Massoud guy, getting hisself whacked just for to ruin your joke. Harumph!

RadioOcupados October 27, 2011 at 11:25 pm

A Shure SM-57 is a roadworthy and essentially indestructible weapon of audio reproduction. It also very effective in conjunction with a teleprompter.
(A a public service to the Wonkette, I'm the Neilist of microphone expertise.)

Dok-cupy Everything October 27, 2011 at 11:29 pm

"You'll love it! It looks just like a Telefunken U-47"

RadioOcupados October 27, 2011 at 11:43 pm

You know who else was good at making quality audio weaponry?

Dok-cupy Everything October 27, 2011 at 11:47 pm
HarryButtle October 28, 2011 at 1:30 pm

With leather?

not that Dewey October 28, 2011 at 1:03 am

I''ll see your SM-57 and raise you an Electrovoice EV-20

Chichikovovich October 27, 2011 at 11:36 pm

Absolutely. There's the killers of Ahmad Shah Massoud's, and, um, the ones who got that Northern Alliance guy, and then there's the guy in Afghanistan, and then there is the one who was assassinated just before 9-11. It's an epidemic!

WABishop October 28, 2011 at 11:51 am

Don't forget that scene from the documentary True Lies.

Occupy V572 October 27, 2011 at 11:16 pm

Nothing in this story or the comments above can convince me that curling is anything but a janitorial competition.

ShaveTheWhales October 28, 2011 at 3:26 am

Aha. A janitorial FUCKING competition. Wait…

Indiepalin October 27, 2011 at 11:24 pm

This Robert Ford is a dirty little coward.

James Michael Curley October 28, 2011 at 10:01 am

Who shot Mr. Howard.

the_problem_child October 27, 2011 at 11:25 pm

A Canadian take: http://www.thegridto.com/city/politics/this-whole… Just to make a point about Canadian civility, if nothing else.

Dok-cupy Everything October 28, 2011 at 12:00 am

Winning comment from that story:

"SchadenFord – gaining pleasure by watching Rob Ford make an ass of himself yet again."

fartknocker October 28, 2011 at 2:32 am

I love Canadian Wonketters. So graphic and poignant in their use of adjectives to describing an asshat.

Negropolis October 28, 2011 at 2:50 am

Sweet fuck almighty, bitches. It’s hard to know where to fucking begin with this whole Rob fucking Ford/This Hour Has 22 Fucking Minutes/9-fucking-1-fucking-1 controversy. Like so many things involving the mayor of this whole fucking town, this story has layers and layers and layers.

LOL! "Fuck" is such a cheap word…which is why I'm thankful and proud of being a bargain shopper.

comrad_darkness October 28, 2011 at 9:04 am

Needs more fucking this and fucking that.

SudsMcKenzie October 27, 2011 at 11:26 pm

He had me at "obviously we’ve had death threats".

Arken October 27, 2011 at 11:28 pm

Wait, what state is Canada in again?

Dok-cupy Everything October 28, 2011 at 12:08 am

"Sorry," if this guy could get elected.

Negropolis October 28, 2011 at 2:37 am

You know, it's that place south of Detroit. So, Canada is somewhere in Ohio.

comrad_darkness October 28, 2011 at 9:02 am

Geography win.

My similar fav is, what ocean do you end up in if you go east to west through the panama canal?

Chichikovovich October 27, 2011 at 11:33 pm

A bit of subtext: This Hour has 22 minutes is the most popular comedy show in Canada, and has been for over 20 years. The "Marg Delahunty, Warrior Princess" character (played by Mary Walsh) has been a recurring character throughout that time. She's ambushed Chretien, Stockwell Day, Harper, Layton, Duceppe, and basically everyone else. Politicians have learned to take it with good humour. This is as familiar to Canadians as – say – Jay Leno's "talking to people on the street" bits or Letterman's top ten lists are to Americans. Mary Walsh herself is a known TV personality and author.

To measure this guy's cluelessness, imagine Jay Leno dropped by Bloomberg's residence, and Bloomberg called the dog squad in a desperate panic.

Whadda maroon.

Mojopo October 28, 2011 at 2:12 am

She is fearless! Some good clips out there. She crams more into 30 seconds than almost anyone, with 5 times the snark. She gnawed into Chretien like he was corn on the cob. Marg has one volume, too. LOUDER.

revmod October 28, 2011 at 9:43 am

I find her schtick pretty tired, actually. She seems to be using the form of an interview, but she rarely asks anything of her subjects/victims other than to stand there with an uncomfortable smile while she performs her monolouges about them. I much prefer Rick Mercer's less abusive funny little personal moments with various Canadian politicians.

That being said, it makes Rob "fat fuck" Ford look even more dim that he couldn't just stand there and play along, given how little was expected of him.

Mojopo October 28, 2011 at 3:52 pm

Meh. I think the point is that she's doing something people respond to. That tired schtick resonates with people and they like her. She's getting away with it.

Chet Kincaid October 28, 2011 at 1:15 pm

But Bloomberg banned Larry David from NYC!

RadioOcupados October 27, 2011 at 11:34 pm

O/T, but WaPo is backpedalling on the Oakland OWS Kitty® pic, Richard Cohen should be proud.

ManchuCandidate October 27, 2011 at 11:37 pm

What a bunch of fucking maroons.

Dok-cupy Everything October 27, 2011 at 11:50 pm

Still and all, that is one cute cat.

Dok-cupy Everything October 27, 2011 at 11:37 pm

In other news, Rob Ford has vaulted to the top of the Republican primary polls.

GeorgiaBurning October 28, 2011 at 11:03 am

Where's the birf certificate???

Barrelhse October 27, 2011 at 11:50 pm

He could have just said, "Take off, eh?"

OKthennext October 28, 2011 at 12:50 am

"Hoser."

SayItWithWookies October 27, 2011 at 11:50 pm

If you're going to be afraid of the people who elected you, you've got to think big, politicians. You'll note that Dick Cheney was never elected mayor of Toronto.

Guppy October 28, 2011 at 12:51 am

Dick Cheney isn't afraid of his electorate. He's afraid of sunlight.

ProudLibunatic October 28, 2011 at 12:15 am

What a wacky town!
Back when I lived there, the Bare Naked Ladies were denied a city gig because "their band name objectified women." (Yeah, if you're in the 1st grade!)

Guppy October 28, 2011 at 12:45 am

This is what we need: a random Canadian news bit to let us vent our passionate, irrational rage against the monarchy to the north.

Dok-cupy Everything October 28, 2011 at 1:01 am

Well, at least they understand what truly matters: Assfucking.

And, of course, amusing photographs of cute little kitty cats

jus_wonderin October 28, 2011 at 10:16 am

Oh my. I ordered a case. A closet case. That is like a bakers dozen.

mavenmaven October 28, 2011 at 1:45 am

Robben Ford, the blues guitarist, was elected in Canada?

NorbertsRevenge October 28, 2011 at 2:38 am

If you swim with the sharks, Rob Fucking Ford, sooner or later you're gonna get bitten.

How Tronna elected this bloated quivering toad does my head in. Fucking 905ers.

marionetta October 28, 2011 at 3:04 am

I don't know why fat boy was so scared of my mom.

schvitzatura October 28, 2011 at 3:57 am

Kirsten, comp Rob Ford two tickets to the Folger Theatre Othello production, the rollover ad does so much for the above the fold copy of his tale of woe.

He's gone full Bachmann on the media!

smashedinhat October 28, 2011 at 4:16 am

Lost in all the snark is the fact that this bloated gas bag has somehow acquired a child. For breakfast. Toronto The Good? I think not.

Negropolis October 28, 2011 at 6:41 am

Get. in. ma. bell'eh!

Come here a minute October 28, 2011 at 5:59 am

The mayor's reaction is perfectly understandable after Samantha Bee's murderous rampage.

antifauxnews October 28, 2011 at 6:21 am

you'd think the camera crew had tried to kidnap him and send him to the psych ward near the Elsinore brewery, eh.

Negropolis October 28, 2011 at 6:31 am

OT: Shit's getting real with Occupy Detroit. They along with a few other community groups blocked one of Detroit's international crossings to protest the billionaire owner of the bridge using his money to block the construction of a publically-owned crossing downriver from his that would produce tens-of-thousands of jobs during its construction and operations. It's both a very local and a very international issue given it's one of the busiest international crossings on the globe:

Detroit — A large group of protesters temporarily stalled international trade Thursday when they blocked part of the Ambassador Bridge.

Dozens of protesters from Bridge Watch Detroit, an advocacy group, Occupy Detroit and Good Jobs Now formed a human chain in front of the truck entrance to stop their crossing into Canada for about an hour.

They chanted slogans and hoisted signs to show their opposition to what they call elite business interests blocking a second span that could bring more jobs to the region.

"This shows how much people are really beginning to be fed up with this 1 percent," said the Rev. Charles Williams II, pastor at Detroit's historic King Solomon Baptist Church and a leader with Good Jobs Now who joined the protest.

State Rep. Rashida Tlaib, D-Detroit, who represents the Delray area where the proposed new public bridge would be, also participated.

Detroit police were called to monitor the crowd, but no arrests were made, Sgt. Eren Stephens said.

The protest came a week after legislation to allow the New International Trade Crossing championed by Gov. Rick Snyder was defeated in a Senate committee.

Get down with ya' bad self, Detroit. But, how much you want to bet the Department of Homeland Security is going to eventually try and crush the Detroit occupation. Can't be blocking no billionaire's bridge.

BTW, you guys should look out for state rep. Rashida Tlaib; I think you're going to be hearing a lot more of her in the not-to-distant future.

Mumbletypeg October 28, 2011 at 9:34 am

"protest the billionaire owner of the bridge using his money to block the construction of a publically-owned crossing "

Ugh, do you mean that Maroun guy? I am totally unfamiliar with, and live nowhere close to Michigan, but that guy's crimes against property-upkeep*, as chronically documented and circulated in the blogosphere, left a vivid impression on my psyche. Thoroughly haunting stuff.

*not sure what else to call it. Property stewardship? I don't believe he had anything to do with whatever led to the damage to the surplus materials, just that he's sitting on all of it rather than doing anything to clean up the mess. A sinister analogy for lots of what's wrong with our corporate strangleholds structures.

Dok-cupy Everything October 28, 2011 at 9:35 am

Blocking international trade and a rich dude's plan to further enrich himself? Why, that's TERRISM! Especially the second one.

donner_froh October 28, 2011 at 10:54 am

I missed this one completely due largely with my inability to tolerate the hyper-democratic General Assembly meetings where it was decided. Old people like me know we are going to die a lot sooner than the young'uns who are the heart of the Occupy movement (and who take most the casualties) and aren't patient enough for meetings where everyone votes on everything.

The truck entrance to the bridge was a perfect target. Matty Maroun is a perfect example of entrenched privilege whose company have forcibly relocated hundreds of people, demolished their homes and disrupted their lives.

Chichikovovich October 28, 2011 at 11:22 am

Also, there is not a single person in Michigan who doesn't think the new bridge is a fabulous and absolutely necessary idea, except: 1) Maroun, who makes tons of money with an essential monopoly on commercial traffic across his poorly maintained, frankly scary to cross bridge. [There is a tunnel, but a lot of commercial traffic can't use it.] 2) The state legislators he has bought (the sheer corruption of this is shocking. People aren't even trying to hide it.) 3) Hired Maroun hacks like the chair of the economics department of Hillsdale "College", who can't do any better than pablum like "Do you want the DMV to run your bridge? Haw Haw. [That's a new one.] And look at the big dig in Boston – way overbudget! [Yep, 'cause a bridge - of which tens of thousands have been built over centuries so the projections can be made confidently - is just like an unprecedentedly large project to tunnel under a huge body of water] and the Mackinac bridge too. [So you're saying we shouldn't have built the Mackinac bridge? We should still be connected to the UP by ferries? A bold position.]" Canada is willing to front most of the money, to be repaid from future tolls. It will mean jobs. It will mean more trade and commercial activity in Detroit, which desperately needs it. Much of the US share will be covered by the Feds. The *Republican* governor is energetically in favour of it. The person we are entrusting a major commercial artery to – Maroun – is a shameless scofflaw, who has opened illegal duty free shops, illegally rerouted traffic to pass it through his illegal duty-free gas pumps, has ignored subpoenas, and – well, I could go on and on. To repeat: It is genuinely unbelievable how obviously corruptly the legislature is acting. If OWW is tackling this, good for them. They have made a spectacularly wise PR choice. The more sunshine this gets the better.

Negropolis October 28, 2011 at 9:34 pm

Yep, you guys know the deal. Matty is the C. Montgomery Burns of Detroit. The OWS movement is almost tailored made to fit this guy's crimes. I mean, the guy is almost cartoonishly evil in his brazen boldness, ignoring court orders and the like. Usually, on guys like this there is some kind of nuance to the story, but this guy is almost singularly evil.

The guy is simuntaneously arguing that the two countries don't need another crossing at Detroit, and then building a approach for a second bridge next to his own…one that won't ever make it over the river because Canada will never allow him on their side of the river, again (good on you, Canada, for saying no). The guy is known as the troll under the bridge for a reason. How he's been able to block progress of nearly a decade on this is beyond me. The only body in the entire state with a say in this against the New International Trade Crossing/Detroit River International Crossing are the Republicans in the legislature, particularly in the Senate. They've been so brazenly bought-and-paid for it's not even funny.

weejee October 28, 2011 at 7:58 am

For years we've tried to get the US Navy to move all their stuff to the Great Lakes. Being in fresh water would greatly reduce their maintenance bill. Plus you never know when Dudley Do-Right, and the rest of his thugnacious hyphenated last namers, might come marching south.

BaldarTFlagass October 28, 2011 at 8:27 am

Not gonna happen. Can't water ski or scuba-dive year-round up there, like you can in the North Arabian Sea or the Persian Gulf. Plus, not enough browns to bomb.

DahBoner October 28, 2011 at 8:28 am

" And here we thought Canada was just a kingdom of pleasant goofballs. There goes that Dream."

Hell to the Zed!

BaldarTFlagass October 28, 2011 at 8:28 am

Maybe he thought she was a descendant of Jesse James, looking for revenge.

DerrickWildcat October 28, 2011 at 8:38 am

I don't think a Canada person would talk like that.

neiltheblaze October 28, 2011 at 8:41 am

The death threats will likely stop now that everyone knows he can probably be given a heart attack by some kids' Jesusween costume.

proudgrampa October 28, 2011 at 8:53 am

Who is Rob Ford, and where is Canada?

comrad_darkness October 28, 2011 at 8:58 am

He ran and hid to protect his wife and children? Makes sense.

tessiee October 28, 2011 at 9:39 am

I blame this on Dan Aykroyd.

tessiee October 28, 2011 at 9:40 am

Maybe he thouight it was a land shark.

Generation[redacted] October 28, 2011 at 12:33 pm

They always claim to be just a dolphin.

subsum October 28, 2011 at 9:46 am

"You bitches…!" Love it.

raygotaway October 28, 2011 at 9:47 am

And I thought calling 911 was batshit crazy Bachmann's purview.

ingloriousbytch October 28, 2011 at 9:50 am

First Cantor cancels his speech, now this guy calls 911. Teabaggers are such pussies.

prommie October 28, 2011 at 10:03 am

In a way, this is kinda a "Pussytober" story, innit?

not that Dewey October 28, 2011 at 10:06 am

OT: Liberal PBS News Hour decided to run a pro-income-inequality piece, presumably to correct all their miguided viewers on this subject. All these years, I foolishly thought people should not be starving and living in misery, but apparently I was wrong! Thanks, PBS!

prommie October 28, 2011 at 10:17 am

I can't feed on the powerless when my cup's already overfilled.

not that Dewey October 28, 2011 at 10:21 am

The powerless will just have to wait their turn to be eaten. Priorities!

not that Dewey October 28, 2011 at 10:08 am
gurukalehuru October 28, 2011 at 11:26 am

Dear Mr. Fuckingford, When you say "obviously we get death threats" that indicates to me that you might have a greater problem than comedy.

gurukalehuru October 28, 2011 at 11:33 am

Oh, that Marg Delahunty is a hoot.

joobajooba October 28, 2011 at 11:46 am

I'm Rob F_king Ford, bitch. Now where the white women at?

actor212 October 28, 2011 at 11:59 am

Wow. How often do I get to post the same comment in consecutive threads?

K, here goes..*ahem*

"The obvious solution is to go out and buy cameras that are cleverly concealed as gunsights, then claim the GOP legislators ordered them. "

chascates October 28, 2011 at 12:50 pm

Peggy Noonan is pie-eyed again:
The Divider vs. the Thinker
While Obama readies an ugly campaign, Paul Ryan gives a serious account of what ails America.
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052970203

And unlike her usual columns this one isn't for paid readers only.

Chet Kincaid October 28, 2011 at 1:21 pm

Nooner needs to be detonated with a remote controlled dildo, to straighten out her thinking.

Negropolis October 28, 2011 at 9:42 pm

Did she just really put "serious" and "Paul Ryan" in the same sentence?

Chet Kincaid October 28, 2011 at 1:07 pm

Red Sonja has really let herself go. I don't think a man would WANT to defeat her in battle now.

Troglodeity October 28, 2011 at 1:49 pm

"I’m Rob Fucking Ford, the mayor of this city – and I approved this message!”

berkeleyfarm October 28, 2011 at 3:54 pm

He's in Canadian politics and he doesn't know of Marg Delahunty? Damn, talk about stupid and self-absorbed. "This Hour Has 22 Minutes" was (not sure if it still is) on nationwide teevee for years. My belle-soeur (who lives in Winterpeg) used to tape episodes for my ex so he could get his political sarcasm fix "in exile" fifteen years ago. I became a fan myself.

ttommyunger October 28, 2011 at 9:47 pm

Somehow it's comforting to see that American voters aren't the only ones totally fucked in the head.

RedAmanda October 29, 2011 at 8:19 am

Tie this fucker to the 54-yard line and let the moose eat his face!

RadioOcupados October 28, 2011 at 12:10 am

Awesome Dok, that guy is the 9/11 of the the 808.

Negropolis October 28, 2011 at 6:37 am

Que'eh'?

starfanglednut October 28, 2011 at 9:27 am

To be fair, the US is really excellent comedic material.

Dok-cupy Everything October 28, 2011 at 10:28 am

Being Canadian is like living next door to the Simpsons. Here are all these patient, sensible, kind people (I swear, their real national motto is "Now, let's not get excited") living right next to "the States," where some hideously noisy psychodrama is always going on.

–Molly Ivins

(I always assumed she meant the neighbors on the right side of the street. No one would ever accuse Canada of being Ned Flanders, by golly.)

Dok-cupy Everything October 28, 2011 at 10:31 am
Toomush_Infer October 28, 2011 at 11:38 am

"also, too, eh…" – Fixed….

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