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Where o where would ex-gay Christians be without liberals to blame?Here’s a little variation on an old favorite for you: Linda Wall is a conservative anti-gay marriage candidate running for state representative in Virginia as an Independent who decided to go the “secret gay sex with teenagers” route before trying to win office, so that she can now argue it’s irrelevant to the campaign, because she’s been cured of her gay. A novel strategy! Wall spent the 1970s as a lesbian gym teacher bonking one of her junior high students, which according to her website was (as usual?) the fault of leftist witches casting homo spells on her in college: “I allowed liberal professors to destroy my Judeo-Christian upbringing. I guess one could say I became the ‘prodigal daughter.’ But when my rebellious years came to a close I knew it was the Lord that I needed.”

From the Daily Progress:

In that 2006 deposition, Wall admitted she was asked to resign from a teaching job in the Petersburg area after a junior-high student’s parents complained about a relationship between Wall and their daughter in the 1970s.

Wall, when asked about the deposition, said, “I am not the person I was 40 years ago.”

“I was a pot smoker with impaired judgment, and made some bad choices fresh out of college,” Wall said.

Wall said she became a Christian and has given her testimony in several churches about how she left her lesbian lifestyle and became ex-gay. She says she lobbied in the General Assembly for pro-life issues and the Marriage Amendment to the Virginia Constitution five years ago.

In other news, pot turns you homo, did you know? [Daily Progress]

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  • DaRooster

    She sure looks like Marcus.

    • NorthStarSpanx

      Where's her sexual accountability partner?

  • GunToting[Redacted]

    I can support her logic. I used to go to church and pray and stuff, but now I know that was nuts. Please don't hold my past against me.

    • Chichikovovich

      But I hope you didn't recruit any junior high school students into that lifestyle.

    • Not_So_Much

      I share your shame. But, I was also smoking a lot weed at the time.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Oh, man. I remember what junior high was like. All those 14-year-old girls who were full-grown women wandering about among us. Rhonda and Signe and Kim and especially Jan.

      Whew. If a normal, shy, 14-year-old boy like me had a hard time dealing with that on a daily basis, I can just imagine what it was like for a stoned, lesbian gym teacher watching those four come out of the showers after P.E.

  • Barb

    Duh, who doesn't know that smoking pot makes you crave tacos.

  • DaRooster

    “I was a pot smoker with impaired judgment…"
    "Now… I don't smoke pot."

    • WunkRocker

      The more I run into these repenters, the more I want to impair my judgement with pot, tequila, homosex, drano…anything.

      • DaRooster

        Rubber bullets, flash bangs…
        (Rubber bullet must have been her response when caught,"I just wanted to Rubber Bullet…")

        • Bonzos_Bed_Time

          Dowels of death.

    • Omophagist

      Judging by the fact that she doesn't have to register as a convicted sex offender, I am going to guess that this was not her defense in court.

    • TitsAkimbo

      I used to be all messed up on drugs. Now, I'm all messed up on the Lord!

      • MOG2410

        Out of one addiction into another.

        • TitsAkimbo

          One of Cheech and Chong's better skits, from Big Bambu.

  • You may think you were able to pray way the gay, Linda, but you can't pray way the stupid.

  • Mahousu

    Pedobear has sure let himself (herself?) go.

  • freakishlywrong

    Is there anything these fuckwits won't blame on "libruls"? And they're ALWAYS outed.

    • poncho_pilot

      much like all of their other Orwellian language, i think that's how they define personal responsibility.

  • HempDogbane

    re: "pot turns you homo", I could have sworn it was oxycontin.

    • forgracie

      Ted Haggart says it's meth….

  • chascates

    Another blow for legalized cannabis.

    • It's a blow only if you support non-heterosexuality.

    • Guppy

      I'm not sure "blow" is the proper pun in this case.

    • Callyson

      I see what you did there.

  • PuckStopsHere

    Pot makes you crave Gnocca.

  • hagajim

    Her school nickname was Beulah Clitlicker….somewhat obscure.

  • SorosBot

    It would be a nice continuation of Cocktober but that doesn't really fit lesbian pedophilia. Dildober, maybe? Clitober?

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Strap-ontober. Bumpin' tacober.

      • teebob2000

        That was last month, Strap-tember.

    • Barb

      The Lesbian month is after Cocktober, Nomember.

      • SorosBot

        Is that your granddaughter? Cute!

        • Barb

          Thanks, that is Ainsley. My daughter was told that she HAD to come to preschool dressed for Halloween and it HAD to be a biblical character. I got Ainsley the ladybug costume and Christine took her to school yesterday in the costume. Not a word was said by the teacher.

          • BaldarTFlagass

            Probably got an "A" just for the Christine O'Donnell reference.

          • Barb

            They live in Delaware, lol.

          • MOG2410

            Perfect! We're still trying to run Christine out of the state.

          • OccupytheDashboard

            such a missed opportunity not going as Zombie Jesus…or Vampire Jesus (He gave his blood for you…now he wants it back).

            Actually, my mind won't stop boggling over this. Halloween party…dressed as characters from a book that people use to dis Halloween? It's a good thing I don't have kids else they would go to the party dressed as:

            -a pile of salt
            – a big lollypop named Judas
            -the bear that mauled those kids for making fun of a prophet
            -Lot
            -Abraham (carry a baby doll and a knife)
            -Herod in the style of Herod in Jesus Christ Superstar

          • Barb

            Christine's husband was an Iraq war Vet. I told her to wear the shirt to his uniform and have Jason wear the pants and they could go as an "upper and lower G.I." She's a nurse and they love that kind of humor.

          • OccupytheDashboard

            Much to the chagrin of my friends, so do I. :-)

      • All our pee are belong to you.

      • flamingpdog

        Awww, I just got here! What happened to the adorable ladybug???

    • Ramon X

      Scissortober?

    • mourningnmerica

      Nomember?

      • Barb

        Yes, I said "Nomember" As in "no penis" (male member) for the lesbians.

    • poncho_pilot

      Pune?

      • Dok-cupy Everything

        "A pune, or play on words"–T Pratchett

    • OccupytheDashboard

      Clamtober?

      • Sparky_McGruff

        That gets my vote, for certain.

    • TitsAkimbo

      Scissor me timbers! It's a pirate thing.

  • actor212

    Wall, when asked about the deposition, said, “I am not the person I was 40 years ago.”

    For one thing, you're a worse liar.

    Too, they've gone saggy. Also.

    • bureaucrap

      We assume you're speaking about her neurons.

      • actor212

        Of course! I'm a feiminist liberal.

        • WunkRocker

          TITS/LABIA LIBEL!!

          • actor212

            I'm so naming my emo band that.

  • LesBontemps

    Rue McClanahan has really let herself go.

    • poncho_pilot

      i'm sure she'd blanch at that comparison.

      • proudgrampa

        I see what you did there!

  • Sue4466

    I went to college. I had liberal professors.* I went to law school. I had liberal professors.* I am now myself a liberal professor.*

    Despite my rather extensive exposure to liberal professordom, I still managed to somehow missed the classes on fucking tweens for Communism.

    *I also had conservative professors and conservative colleagues, but apparently they are not corrupting.

    • LesBontemps

      I got an B- in fucking tweens for Communism, but it was only a lecture, not a lab, at my school.

      • Sue4466

        Shoulda done the extra credit.

        • LesBontemps

          Yeah, probably, but I was spending all my free time on the Masturbating to Marx seminar.

          • Sue4466

            Good call. That way you control your own grade unlike in group work.

      • GunToting[Redacted]

        They offered that class as self-directed at my school.

    • Geminisunmars

      Darn, I was a Math major, and all we studied were digits.

      • Oblios_Cap

        and imaginary numbers.

      • poncho_pilot

        must not have gone over Geometry then. i'll never forget the section on bisecting Engels.

    • An_Outhouse

      You didn't smoke enough pot.

    • Swampgas_Man

      Thanks, couldn't understand why she was blaming librul perfessors — she didn't sleep w/ them! Shoulda blamed those slutty juniors. Crawling w/ the liberalisms, they are.

  • DaSandman

    I always thought it was blow that made you go mo.

    Well that and Jeebus…

  • Mahousu

    Ha, when I tried to go to Linda's site, I got this 404 image. Poor Linda, trapped in a world that is not her own.

    • chascates

      Better url: http://lindawallfordelegate.com/Who_Is_Linda_Wall

      Not better, but the right page, I mean.

      • freakishlywrong

        From her site: Linda has over 15 years experience in defending life,liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

        Yes. Her own. And by "pursuit of happiness" she means banging her under age students.

        • Chichikovovich

          There's a typo there – it should read "experience in defending pre-puberty for the pursuit of happiness"

        • BaldarTFlagass

          "defending life,liberty and the pursuit of happiness."

          I guess she's faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a steam locomotive, and able to jump teen girl's bones in a single bound?

        • 15 years…one for each year that poor teenage girl has been alive.

        • OneDollarJuana

          "One who has walked the walk"

          More like "One who has licked the lick"

      • An_Outhouse

        "I grew up in rural Dinwiddie County"

        Like some place named Dinwiddie would not be rural.

      • dizzeeboy

        I was scared to click on the "issues" tab.

    • Callyson

      She sure is trying to cover her bases, isn't she?
      White Collar Worker – Business owner, teacher, coach, supervisor, public relations director,manager, supervisor
      Blue Collar Worker – Nanny,housekeeper, painter,horse caretaker
      With a resume like that, who can resist?

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Linda the Plumber. Experience with 15-year-old pipes.

  • Frost/Nixon/Robocop

    I was a pot smoker with impaired judgment

    But now I'm normal and believe in supply side economics and think global warming is a hoax, like normal people.

  • Bless me Lord, for others have made me sin! I'm tellin' ya Jesus, it wasn't me!

    • proudgrampa

      Your comment hits the nail on the head. These miscreants NEVER take responsibility for their own actions.

    • MOG2410

      The Debil made me do it!

  • SexySmurf

    She claims she's an ex-lesbian, but that haircut just screams WNBA season ticket holder.

    • littlebigdaddy

      Can you ever be an ex-gym teacher?

      • BaldarTFlagass

        It's the same as with Marines, there are no ex-Marines.

      • SorosBot

        Are there any straight female gym teachers, anyway? Or non-sadist gym teachers of either gender?

        • flamingpdog

          They are the GOOD 1%.

        • Negropolis

          I had a straight, female gym teacher in elementary school. Her son was in my grade. But, she sure as hell wore a lesbians uniform and haircut, I tell you what.

    • SoBeach

      Yeah. Ex-lesbian. Put a bunch of chicks in gym shorts in front of her doing sit-ups and stretches and she'd pitch a tent that P.T. Barnum would envy.

    • actor212

      Or pedigree dog handler

    • Jukesgrrl

      I don't believe she was a gym teacher. Creative writing seem much more up her alley. Maybe she volunteered for gym duty because of luurve.

  • HempDogbane

    Wait, is this the plot line from Gil Thorp or Judge Parker? All these locker room scenes are starting to look alike.

    • GunToting[Redacted]

      I'd like to see Mark Trail punch her in the face.

  • This would be a great idea for a "Glee" episode!

    • tihond

      Or at the very least, she'll blame "Glee" for her relapse.

    • Swampgas_Man

      I've definitely had some fantasies about Coach Bieste, Jane Lynch and the Cheerios.

  • “I allowed liberal professors to destroy my Judeo-Christian upbringing. "

    Today, we are all pot-smoking, Liberal college professors.

  • ThundercatHo

    It would take more than pot for anybody to want to fuck her anyway.

  • a_pink_poodle

    A GOP gay affair but with both parties being female? That's an interesting turn on the stereotype!

    • Emphasis on "turn on," although not really.

    • VaWyo

      I know! Although the rentboy gay male republican scandals never fail to entertain, they were getting so commonplace.

  • Allmighty_Manos

    It is good to see Ms. Wall has broken the glass ceiling on closeted conservatives having secret gay sex with minors. I see a NOW award in her future.

    • EBGrey

      Slow clap for your Manos!

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      The GOP closet has a glass ceiling? Idiots – no wonder they keep getting outed!

  • hollywooddood

    Those liberal professors are so busted.

  • Zombie_Reagan

    “I allowed liberal professors to destroy my Judeo-Christian upbringing. I guess one could say I became the ‘prodigal daughter.’”

    And I was under the impression that the GOP is the party of personal responsibility. Silly me.

    • spends2much

      I was just about to type that! Poor lady, so easily corruptible by the Welfare Queens, Baby Killers, and Hot Teen Chicks who make up the bulk of Liberals in her mind. Next thing you know, she'll accidentally talk to an immigrant or something, but then she can just blame us for that too.

    • ShaveTheWhales

      Yes, those liberal profs were personally responsible for her behavior.

  • EatsBabyDingos

    So the race is down to a Democrat with no baggage, an Independent switch-hitter, and a Republican with a history of violence and a concealed weapon conviction. Who has no chance in this scenario?

    • Dok-cupy Everything

      The choice is obvious.

    • SilverTsunami

      And that would, of course, be the Democrat.

    • rickmaci

      Unfortunately EBD, it's sort of like the end of the movie Chinatown. "Forget it Eats, it's Virginia."

  • I'd be concerned if she has campaign photos of herself in a plaid shirt chopping wood.

    • jus_wonderin

      Or laying carpet.

    • Geminisunmars

      Or clearing bush, oops, I mean brush.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      And loading the wood into her Subaru?

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Her pair of golden retrievers soulfully gazing into the camera.

    • Jukesgrrl

      I'm on the trail of her tickets to the Dinah Shore Golf Tournament. When I find them, I'll report back.

    • Negropolis

      All whilst in sensible footwear.

  • Repubs, meet your own latest Halloween costume inspiration. I believe this covers all the projected vices fit to conserva-spook: illicit drug use, kinky underage sex and gay voodoo spells.

  • OC_Surf_Serf_#OLA

    Sometimes you just can't get the fetus back in the jar….

    • Buzz Feedback

      "Fetus in the Jar" is my favorite Thin Lizzy song.

  • Buzz Feedback

    If she's not gay she might want to lose the Billie Jean King haircut.

    • Negropolis

      Prince-of-Pop Libel!

  • Indiepalin

    If Obamacare had been in effect, this candidate would never have been cured of the gay.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    "In other news, pot turns you homo, did you know?"

    No. You'd think after 37 years it would have taken effect. Maybe it makes you a lesbian. Yeah, it made me a lesbian! I mean, I dig poo-seh!

    • FakaktaSouth

      I have never even been hit on by a (weed induced or otherwise) lesbian and I (have) do know(n) enough female pot smokers that that is, well, actually kind of offensive now that I think about it.

      • BaldarTFlagass

        Those bitches!!

      • Ramon X

        It's not you. It has to be the impaired judgment.

      • Parenthetically, are you high right now?

        • FakaktaSouth

          Wait right now? or right now when I wrote that? or this? What is right now anyway? is it a necessary concept or maybe it's just a way for the man to control us. (Parenthetically would you like to ask me that again RIGHT NOW? HURRY! now. now. okay now.)

          • MOG2410

            Chocolate chip cookies, parenthetically or otherwise.

  • Toomush_Infer

    I like it – what is the Christian Statute of Limitation on eating underage pussy?…. 'cause I would really like me some and then go on to win re-erection in…. I'm thinking….., hmmm, say, two days?…

  • Dok-cupy Everything

    That's some party, that Party of Personal Responsibility.

    • Jukesgrrl

      Don't forget Family Values®.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      You should see what goes down at the after-party!

  • "Dear Penthouse Magazine,

    I remember this is one time back in 70's, at a Chi Omega rush…."

  • FakaktaSouth

    So what about that kid she messed with? What is her salvation? Does she now smoke weed to forget about the gym teacher who rubbed up on her, denounced her and is now running for fucking office? Holy Christ in deed.

    • Dok-cupy Everything

      No, she gets to go do some other criminal shit, get saved, and blame liberals going back TWO generations.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        You've got to admit, it's a pretty slick system these guys have worked out for themselves. "The Lord works in mysterious ways…"

        • Dok-cupy Everything

          It's the best there is.

          • Lascauxcaveman

            Lol, I just watched Catch 22 again about 2 weeks ago.

            Fucking. Brilliant. Movie.

    • prommie

      The victim should sue the "liberal professors" who are the ones truly responsible for what happened to her. You know how those liberal professors are always trying to force you to engage in same-sex molesting of pre-teens.

      • FakaktaSouth

        ONCE AGAIN – I went to the wrong damned school. My liberal professors at Bammer were more into old-ass cock and alcohol. But I did learn Shakespeare, and that I might could be a liberal professor.

        • Nothingisamiss

          Right? You go to college in the deep south and they never fucking tell you to smoke pot or go after underage tail.

          Although at college in Arizona, a professor told me about this great drug, ecstasy, that was going to suddenly be off the markt and my girlfriend and I could come over to his hot tub and take some with him before the heavy, heavy hand of Uncle Sam came down on this highly therapeutic, very relaxing drug.

          • finallyhappy

            I went to college in the big city where a history professor offered to trade a grade for me- ugh. I was a good student, too. Of course, my freshman English prof was having sex with a male and a female student- or both together- who knew? Ah, the 70's.

      • Dok-cupy Everything

        All right, it's a fair cop, but society's to blame

        Agreed. We'll arrest them, too.

    • SorosBot

      But she's a fundamentalist Christian; in their world her sex with a junior high girl is wrong because it was a) not heterosexual and b) outside of marriage. They don't give a shit about the harm caused by molesting a kid, just that she had sex outside of the approved matter. See also the Catholic child rapist rapist priests; the Church forgives them as long as they go through penance and absolution to make up to their sin to god. The kids they actually seriously harmed don't matter; just that they angered the invisible man in the sky.

      • FakaktaSouth

        See? This is my problem. It's all the thinking of others bullshit. Everything would be so much easier if we were all sociopaths, I mean, fundy-christers, so that everything is only applicable to ourselves, on our own world stage, with other humans as bit players and the Director above always forgiving, or blaming or punishing, but not if we say sorry and click our heels together three times…there's no place like ME, there's no place like ME…

        • jus_wonderin

          "I've been to paradise, but I never been to ME."

          • BaldarTFlagass

            Well, Portland is pretty nice, Acadia National Park is beautiful, and of course everyone loves "Bangor" (get it?), but you should definitely go during the summer.

          • SorosBot

            Just stay away from the towns of Castle Rock and Derry, and especially avoid any clowns in the latter.

          • flamingpdog

            I've heard the Derry air is refreshing.

          • prommie

            My favorite song!

        • Ramon X

          "Everything would be so much easier if we were all sociopaths…"

          "How I learned to stop worrying and love the bomb."

          Once or twice in a generation… Brilliant. Thank you.

        • SorosBot

          The fundy moral system is pathological; it's all about following the rules, instead of focusing on the actual reason for morality, to reduce harm and suffering and foster safety and happiness. They focus on individual actions instead of their consequences, and label certain acts as good or evil in themselves based on what some old book says.

          Consequently fundies label a lot of actions as evil which are perfectly good, like consenting adults fucking just because they're the same sex (or haven't gone through a ceremony, or because they're using the wrong orifices or birth control), and consider certain evil acts to be good (like forcing women to go through with an unwanted pregnancy against her will). There's no concern for victims; they ask god for forgiveness instead of people they've actually harmed. It's fucked up.

          • FakaktaSouth

            I don't really need someone's opinion of what will happen when they are dead to affect my god-damned life so much. Can't people just not be assholes for the sake of not being an asshole? For Christ's sake (heehaw) these people are ruining shit that just doesn't have to be ruined, ya know? Orifices and birth control, to paraphrase Ben Franklin, could be proof that God loves us. Both of them have sure made me able to love people more.

          • prommie

            Now you're really sounding like a liberal college professor.

          • Again, I'm gonna nitpick based on my own fundie Christian upbringing ('60s-'80s): protestant fundies made no mention of birth control in general being wrong. It's the Papists wielding that banhammer.

          • Dok-cupy Everything

            Weird how they've dragged a lot of Protestants along on that, isn't it? At its root, it's all about making sure that all sexuality is punished. At least for other people.

          • Well yes, sex outside of marriage being wrong is a given. But Evangelical Fundies wouldn't tell a married couple they couldn't use a condom. They might tell a single teenage kid that, but only by way of saying "no fucking for you!" A Baptist couple would tell the Pope to mind his own God damned business.

          • FakaktaSouth

            I apologize for the overgeneralization and fundy mixing. My mom grew up Baptist with a Catholic mother, sooo guilt was totally covered…and if she had been on birth control there'd have been no me, so you know, sometimes it works out.
            Also, I know a loooooot of Church of Christ, Church of God and Evangelicals around here and whilst they aren't tons of fun all the time, they do take the birth control, that is true. Just no fuck talk. Or drinking. Or really anything fun but kid stuff. And tons o'hypocrisy.
            Also also, is it racist to say that black Christians of whatever stripe don't bother me in the least the way most white Evangelicals do? Like racist against white people? I don't know. It seems sincere to me when a black person from Alafuckingbama still is able to believe in God. That's all I really ever ask for – sincerity. And the ladies my mom sometimes goes to church with in Birmingham at their "historically black churches" MEAN what they are talking about and I love them.

          • I grew up in a northern black baptist evangelical fundamentalist household, a preacher's kid, actually. My father monitored the civil rights movement but was not a part of it, as he took saving souls seriously. Maybe we were an odd little corner of both the black and fundie church communities, but I heard little about politics in those particular black churches in the '60s and '70s. The white ministers, churches and fundie radio/TV/print media, when we "fellowshipped" with them, were a different matter, though. By the '80s, I had to exasperatedly asked my father (in reference to Falwell and the Moral Majority) "what is their deal? Do they want the United States to be a theocracy?" He didn't have any answer or defense for them.

            Black folks and Christianity, it's complicated. But maybe the difference is that we latched onto the "underdog" portions of the Bible, while certain white folks "cottoned" to the authoritarian laws/social order stuff. It feeds their egos to be right with God and white on earth, perhaps. Black folks so loved the metaphorical Jews under Egypt's thumb that we've come up with a half-dozen sects that make us lost members of the tribe. And white folks are so ready for their reward in heaven they are trying to lord it over the rest of humanity on earth in advance.

          • Jukesgrrl

            Thanks both of you. This isn't touted as a place for thoughtful conversation, but it's amazing how many times I find it at the Wonket.

          • Ditto that ^

          • Well, the level of intelligence it takes to be witty on Wonkette is an excellent riff-raff filter, I have always thought, so when smart conversations break out here, it's worth talking. I like your comments, also!

          • Dok-cupy Everything

            "Riff-raff filter" is a phrase that I intend to steal ASAP. So many potential applications.

      • Oblios_Cap

        Hey, now – Jesus loves the little children. It's in the song.

      • I don't know, I was raised a fundie Christian and molesting kids wasn't OK.

        • Jukesgrrl

          One of the things that separates "Christians" from "Catholics"?

          • Dok-cupy Everything

            "Separating the men from the boys" is is usually left to the vice squad.

          • Biel_ze_Bubba

            Sometimes you need a crowbar.

      • Scripture says nothing against same-sex relationships (Dàvid and Jonàtàn; Rut and Naomi) or sex outside marriage but against whores (fornication, lair->woman's lying [room]).

        A teen is not a kid, and if there was a relationship and the outcriers were the parents and not the teen, there was no molestation.

        • SorosBot

          Sex with a Junior High kid is OK, really? Junior High is normally 12-14 years old – that's a child. And this is a teacher, a person placed in a position of power over her; we're not talking about two 13-year-olds going at it together. We're not even talking High School, where the kids are closer to being adults but we're still dealing with both abuse of power and statutory rape. Fuck of course that's molestation.

          And what scripture says about morality and sex is useless, just as much as what it says about history; that's my whole point. Following a rule manual for morality, instead of judging actions on whether they cause harm, is pathological and wrong. And teachers molesting students certainly harms them.

          • FakaktaSouth

            "judging actions on whether they cause harm"

            This is the entire difference between the people who piss me off and those who do not. Nuanced thinking requires a certain level of intelligence, or interest or SOMETHING that is particularly lacking in a person who would love an R party where they come from the gut – boo gay soldier, cheer executions and blame poor people. The thing that I think will tear these fuckers up in the next election is that they have FINALLY worn it down to where the policies that they are implementing have affected enough people that it has raised the level of interest – it goes beyond caring about who's a black person enough to vote for the Pres when you are being foreclosed on because your medicine got so expensive that you couldn't afford to pay the mortgage, and yet you see some guys at work doing very, very well. (Actual case of neo-liberals I know from my hubs' office) So now, they actually LISTEN to what is being said and, ya know, plan to vote their interests. Luckily the Repubs are being incredibly open with their disdain so that is also helping.

          • Sex is okay if both persons say so; it has nothing to do with you, who has nothing to say of import. Unless you are a victim or personally involved, your discriminatory attitude between these two is empty. What has one thing (sex) to do with other (abuse of teaching)?

            Molestation by definition is harm, but you do not get to say whether she was molested.

          • SorosBot

            Not when you're dealing with a child who is too young to consent. But yes, please do continue supporting adults having sex with junior high kids.

          • "a child": see last post; everyone is "a child". It was not her child. "too young to consent" by what, the law? society? Either way, you made it clear you didn't care if two 13-yeareds had sex [even thouh it's still illegal], so the youngness and sex are not the problem. Your problem is with the adult, which makes you hýpocritical. Also, junior high students are not kids.

          • Dok-cupy Everything

            Um. I'm sorry, but there is something creepily Loughneresque about your commenting history.

            Please, stick to your medication regimen.

          • (looks at Wikipedia). Not at all, deluded troll.

          • __kth__

            NAMBLA troll

          • Neither NAMBLA nor a troll; you would be the troll. The internet is full of dumbasses who toss words without knowan their meaning.

        • finallyhappy

          cmon- David and Jonathan- absolutely- but Ruth and Naomi- no.

    • Guppy

      I sense fat campaign checks from the local Catholic diocese in her future.

  • SoBeach

    I don't remember any of my liberal professors encouraging statutory rape as part of destroying my Judeo-Christian upbringing.

    • Dok-cupy Everything

      You just weren't listening.

    • Oblios_Cap

      That's what you get for sleeping through class.

    • Chichikovovich

      You should demand your tuition back.

    • Oblios_Cap

      That may be because you only signed up for the classroom portion of that course and forgot to enroll in the lab.

    • SorosBot

      Hell I thought the Catholic seminaries encouraged statutory rape as part of upholding their Judeo-Christian upbringing.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Never did your homework, eh?

  • El Pinche

    Pray all you want, butchy. But you'll never succumb the urge to scissor Lindsey Graham's vagina.

    • Guppy

      "Lindsey Graham's vagina."

      What does Lieberman have to do with this?

      • El Pinche

        Doh!! HAHA!

  • DahBoner

    "lesbian gym teacher"

    Redundant, since the only gym teacher that's not a lesbian was the screamer in Porky's

    • prommie

      More like a howler.

      • WunkRocker

        more like ruttish toad-spotted hedge-pig. There, I said it.

  • Terry

    "“I was a pot smoker with impaired judgment, and made some bad choices fresh out of college,” Wall said."

    Molesting a kid is a "bad choice"?

    • SoBeach

      I guess it is, once the statute of limitations passes.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Well, compared to "invading a country for no reason." But then, Repubs aren't into the whole "moral relativism" thing.

    • Ramon X

      Well, as it turns out – yes. But no one could have foreseen.

    • MissTaken

      Molesting a kid is definitely up there with the "bad choice" I made this morning when I went with the vanilla latte instead of a cafe au lait. Molestation and coffee, same difference!

    • Where did it say kid or molest?

      • Terry

        "Wall spent the 1970s as a lesbian gym teacher bonking one of her junior high students"

        Unless that student was held back a grade on a number of occasions, that makes the student a kid and sex with a kid is molestation.

        • A kid is prepubescent. As for molest, read the damned dictionary, American.

          • Terry

            You've had reason to work out the fine legal distinctions, then, to help with your justifications.

          • And what do you justify, fake names, blind hatred, and hýpocritical prejudice of the will of persons as the constitution sets up?

          • Terry

            Oh, sweetie, come down off the high horse before you fall and hurt yourself.

          • I can't [fall]; my case is perfect and immune.

          • Terry

            Sure it is, honey. If you ask your Momma nice, she might embroider it on a pillow for you. Now go out and play.

          • Negropolis

            Well, fuck you, too. Also.

          • Dok-cupy Everything

            ……

            It's people like 'im what gives pederasty a bad name.

    • MaxNeanderthal

      If it can believe in god(s) of any stripe, you think it's going to have any problem believing whatever justification it wants to dream up to excuse child rape? It's a fuckin' christopath, ergo it's a self-deluding, re-closeted, self-loathing nutjob. Nothing new to see here, move along…

  • Goonemeritus

    I think I have seen this movie was rope climbing involved?

    • Barb

      Hemp rope, yes.

    • DahBoner

      And pushups and/or pushup bras….

  • EatsBabyDingos

    I assume her middle school girl friend was named "The Sundance Kid," because she still looks like Butch.

  • prommie

    Does this count as a "Cocktober" story if there was no cock involved?

    • chascates

      Cuntober?

    • Oblios_Cap

      "Cuntober"?

    • prommie

      Cunnilingtober? No, too long.

    • Chichikovovich

      Octovary?

    • comrad_darkness

      It does because there was undoubtedly remote controlled dildos involved instead.

    • DahBoner

      Cunt-ober.

    • As usual, Barb already nailed it above.

  • ThundercatHo

    How was this bitch not prosecuted for child molestation? Oh, and unless you're Flip Wilson in drag, "the devil made me do it" is not an acceptable excuse.

  • Goonemeritus

    I had a fair number of liberal professors in college and I never slept with any of my students. Of course my students were all in Engineering so that could explain it as well.

    • Dok-cupy Everything

      How can you tell that an engineer is really extroverted?

      When he's talking to you, he stares at YOUR shoes.

      • Oblios_Cap

        Incredibly, that is also the difference between an Accountant and an Actuary.

        Amazing!

        • Chichikovovich

          I thought it was that an Accountant looks at you and estimates how he could save you in estate tax, while an Actuary estimates when you will be subject to estate tax.

    • Guppy

      The smell of desperation is a turn-off for you?

    • finallyhappy

      yup, 24 years of working with engineers and never attracted to one of them! Now the physicists- wooohooo!

  • Redhead

    "Ex-Gay Candidate So Conservative Now That kinky homo Sex With Teen Doesn’t Count"

    Fixed.

  • OutragedToo

    I smoked lots and lots and lots of pot (40 years worth, still do), but I've never had the urge to suck some guy off, not that there's anything wrong with that…

    • OccupyFnChicken

      puff puff pass, dammit.

  • Oblios_Cap

    "But when my rebellious years came to a close I knew it was the Lord that I needed.”

    Is there nothing that these assholes won't blame on God?

    • Toomush_Infer

      It's that cosmic transreferenced Pussy….

  • BaldarTFlagass

    "But when my rebellious years came to a close I knew it was the Lord that I needed."

    Jesus is the last refuge of a scoundrel.

  • Pragmatist2

    "Pot turns you homo"!!!!!
    That explains why the Tea Partiers only take meth.

  • Damnit, prommie!

    And I'd just scanned the thread to see if anyone had gotten there yet.

    I say yes! Count it for Cocktober.
    ~

  • BaldarTFlagass

    "asked to resign from a teaching job in the Petersburg area"

    Heh-heh. Petersburg. Get it?

    • OutragedToo

      No, actually, she didn't. I think that's the point…

      • poncho_pilot

        possibly the tip even.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      So after she was forced out of position in Petersburg, she found she was more happy in Vaginaville, anyway.

  • Terry

    Ms. Wall attended the hotbead of liberalism, Longwood University in Farmville, VA. Founded in 1839, as the Farmville Female Seminary Association, Longwood has a current enrollment of over 4,000 students and takes as its patron saint Joan of Arc. While the University's notable alumni list is surprisingly short (Jason Mraz attended but did not graduate), the vast majority of alumni have not gone on to molest middle school students.

    Seems like the place has pretty nice programs in literature and the other forms of the arts: http://www.longwood.edu/

    • kissawookiee

      "Longwood." Heh.

      • CapnFatback

        Those must be really liberal professors to be able to promote lesbianism at a place named "Longwood."

        • BaldarTFlagass

          "English Major? Hey, you wanna help me with my Longfellow?!?"

          • Dok-cupy Everything

            Sure! I'll make sure you get your Wadsworth!

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Who the fuck is Jason Mraz? Didn't he play keyboards for Yes after Rick Wakeman left the band?

      • Terry

        You're getting old Baldar, my friend. Mraz is singer, torchy Sinatra-ish stuff.
        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EkHTsc9PU2A

        • BaldarTFlagass

          Well, he's got a nice jet, but I think I will stick with "Close to the Edge" or "Fragile."

      • Unfortunately, I know that is incorrect. (Patrick Moraz.) This will lead to more "you're BLACK?!" responses to my comments.

        • OccupytheDashboard

          I bet he gets moraz than a toilet seat.

        • BaldarTFlagass

          Yeah, heh. I hoped someone would catch that. But I liked Patrick better after he left Yes and went on tour with the Moody Blacks.

          • Is there any better aural equivalent to a roomful of pot haze than the Mellotron?

          • BaldarTFlagass

            Well, the Theremin runs a close second, but it gets a bit freaky after a while…

    • I can't decide if it's coincidence that two women I've befriended since moving to VA have described being molested as teens, by an older woman (on a softball team, either peer or coach, can't recall) in each case, at Longwood in each case, with formative impact [presumably] toward their finding the rest of their way into adulthood as lesbians. One of them, she's an alcoholic and the other I've lost touch w/ but was dealing at the time w/ some dysfunctional-family grievances.

      Time-wise, they would've just barely overlapped at Longwood though they did not know eachother personally. Hearing each molestation account, described in the a school-athletics context, not from one but two such fragile yet dynamic friends has put an edge on my apprehension of any instructor like Wall who is (or was, once) ready to take advantage of someone so vulnerable as a teenager with conflicted sexual identity.

      • Terry

        Huh. I've only heard reasonably good things about the school, outside of it being located in God's Country there between Richmond and Lynchburg.

        • The entire South is located between a Rich Man and a Lynch Burg.

          • And what I mean by that, is this:
            http://www.washingtonmonthly.com/magazine/novembe

            Tidewater

            Settled in many cases by the younger sons of southern English gentry, Tidewater was meant to reproduce the semifeudal manorial society of the countryside they’d left behind, where economic, political, and social affairs were run by and for landed aristocrats…The most powerful nation in the seventeenth and eighteenth centuries, today it is a nation in decline, having been boxed out of westward expansion by its boisterous Appalachian neighbors and, more recently, eaten away by the expanding Midlands.

            Greater Appalachia

            Founded in the early eighteenth century by wave upon wave of rough, bellicose settlers from the war-ravaged borderlands of northern Ireland, northern England, and the Scottish lowlands, Appalachia has been lampooned by writers and screenwriters as the home of rednecks, hillbillies, crackers, and white trash. It transplanted a culture formed in a state of near-constant warfare and upheaval, characterized by a warrior ethic and a deep commitment to personal sovereignty and individual liberty. … it has been in alliance with the Deep South in an effort to undo the federal government’s ability to overrule local preferences.

            The Deep South

            Established by English slave lords from Barbados as a West Indies-style slave society, this region has been a bastion of white supremacy, aristocratic privilege, and a version of classical Republicanism modeled on the slave states of the ancient world, where democracy was the privilege of the few and enslavement the natural lot of the many….Its slave and caste systems smashed by outside intervention, it continues to fight for rollbacks of federal power, taxes on capital and the wealthy, and environmental, labor, and consumer safety protections.

          • BaldarTFlagass

            "it continues to fight for rollbacks of federal power, taxes on capital and the wealthy, and environmental, labor, and consumer safety protections."

            They'd probably like to have their slavery back, too, but I guess that goes without sayin'.

          • flamingpdog

            Spent four years in the early 70s in Tidewater Virginia at Tom Jefferson's old school. Those four years go a long way toward explaining the urge to be somewhere else, anywhere else than the South. Result: 36 years (so far) in the Rocky Mountain West.

          • Geminisunmars

            Hey, pdog, I've been here 36 years too! But I came from the other side of the country – L.A. I suppose that could count as deep Southern Calif.

    • "Longwood University" in "Virginia," formerly a "Female" "Seminary." In "Farmville." Two questions: Did "Kortney" matriculate here, and is this instititution the inspiration for Spinal Tap's "Sex Farm"?

  • Ewwwwwwwwwww. Geriatric snatch on the prowl. Pass the brain bleach. I can't even read the rest of the story. *gag* *wretch*

  • hollywooddood

    So the bottom line is that she's a pedophile.

    • Toomush_Infer

      bottom line…..heh heh…

    • GunToting[Redacted]

      No! She WAS a pedophile (and apparently a dyke, which is somehow worse). But then she returned to the loving embrace of Jeebus, so all is good.

      • Generation[redacted]

        Hey, if Catholic priests can be rehabilitated and transferred to another church in another town multiple times, why not?

    • Geminisunmars

      Or maybe the bottom line is that she is a Repub.

      Edited: Oops, see that she is an Independent. Well, probably because the Repub candidate wouldn't step aside.

    • Guppy

      And if there's one thing Teabaggers know for certain, it's that "pedophile" and "homosexual" are synonyms.

    • a kid-friend? as teachers tend to be. Learn some Hellènic.

  • MrFizzy

    I wish leftist witches had facilitated me banging a few of my teachers. Why is this reserved for christians, who don't even really appreciate it?

  • widestanceshakedown

    Linda 'Sugar' Wall licked her little gay problem in the bud by telling little girl lies.

  • fartknocker

    Did they enjoy tranny porn and pink dildos during this tryst?

  • GunToting[Redacted]

    I'm sure there were ladybugs in biblical times.

    • kissawookiee

      It was the cutest plague ever.

    • Geminisunmars

      Wasn't that Magdalene's nickname?

    • ShaveTheWhales

      Two by two, certainly.

  • MLite

    Besides, she added, that little girl I was shagging is in her 40s now. I wonder where she lives?

    • Chichikovovich

      And I wonder if she has any grandchildren?

  • widestanceshakedown

    Early focus groups did not buy her story of only going gay to alleviate dry mouth.

  • I'm a heterosexual male and pot also makes me want to have sex with women. (Women, not junior high school girls.)

  • littlebigdaddy

    Just in time: Urban Dictionary's word of the day suits her pretty well: skeezy. She's a skeezy butch cougar.

  • Limeylizzie

    That's somewhat similar to how I explained away my inordinate amount of lovers prior to meeting my spouse.

    • Chichikovovich

      You said "I knew it was the Lord that I needed."? You really know how to treat a husband right!

      • Guppy

        "The Lord" is her pet name for a certain part of his anatomy.

    • Geminisunmars

      I knew it would come up someday when I met Mr Geminisunmars-to-be, so I thought I'd better cut the amount in half. Hmmm. Still too many. Half it again. No, that wouldn't do. Half it again. Finally I just came up with a number I didn't think would scare the bejeesus out of him. Really, the only time I've lied to him about anything. Really. And it was for his own good.

      • WriteyWriterton

        Really.

        • Geminisunmars

          Yah. Really, like, you know, really. Very really.

    • jus_wonderin

      Lizzy, one person's inordinate is another person's insufficient.

    • Guppy

      Don't ask, don't tell.

    • prommie

      Its a simple function of how long one is single; if one is single for, say, 15 years after 18, well, two a year is reasonable, hell its downright chaste, and thats 30; 4 a year, and you are looking at 60, yet thats only one every 3 months, for the love of God. And if, like me, noone would ever do you twice, even that is practically a starvation diet.

      • Limeylizzie

        Very true, I met MrLimeylizzie in my late 30s .

    • Sex pot?

      • Limeylizzie

        At the height of my singlehood, I was juggling 2 and sometimes three gentleman callers at a time, I was raised by my father with one older brother, so I acted like a boy with tits.

  • Fawkdifiknow

    Video or GTFO.

  • crybabyboehner

    "When my rebellious years came to a close I knew it was the Lord I needed. "

    Translation: "When I became too old to get hot young pussy … "

    • Guppy

      Old, shmold, she lost her supply of tail when she lost her position of authority over them.

  • OccupyFnChicken

    "I allowed liberal professors to destroy my Judeo-Christian upbringing."

    Notice that it's okay to blame others for your fault — if it improves your Christian testimony.

  • SilverTsunami

    She had sex with a student (gender is far less relevant to me than the power differential) and I'm supposed to trust her ethics now? I think not.

    • Oblios_Cap

      It's okay – she's found Jebus.

      • Chichikovovich

        Yeah. "Suffer the little children to come unto me" and all that.

        • ShaveTheWhales

          ISWYDT

  • OccupyFnChicken

    How come that woman looks like the stereotypical neighborly woman with the skinny legs, pot belly and tacky shoes? Bet her voice sounds like she's been smoking forty years, and she probably nursed vodka as long

  • Chichikovovich

    "I guess one could say I became the ‘prodigal daughter.' "

    From the picture I'm thinking more in terms of "fatted calf".

    • Dok-cupy Everything

      I was hoping for "burnt offering."

  • occams8ball

    Yes, I believe it was bonking if it was in the 1970's. Just a memory now, though. Forty years does change a person. sigh.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      I always thought it was "boinking." Hmm. Guess that's a regionalism.

  • actor212

    Just some random observations on Ms. Wall:

    She grew up in Dimwiddie County, VA. Wait…I'm being told…oh, DiNwiddie! Sorry.

    She's a native Virgin…*taps earpiece*…sorry, Virginian.

    She graduated Longwood College. (*snork*)

    She supports Bush. Also, supported the former President.

    She also wonders what the meaning of "is" is.

  • Troglodeity

    If "liberal professors" and their allegedly evil agendas were as powerful and all-pervasive as these kid-diddling, hypocritical fundies always claim they are, right now we'd be the Union of American Socialist Gay Pederasts.

    • Agenda is plural.

      • flamingpdog

        It was to Cicero, but not in modern usage.

        • Dok-cupy Everything

          For further Fun with Latinate Suffixes, I always like to refer to a single cheese-filled pasta thingy as a "raviolus."

          Or would that be a "raviolum"?

        • abusage

  • Uh Oh, According to her website, she also took care of horses.

    • Geminisunmars

      Pretty Ponies.

    • crybabyboehner

      And you know what Catherine the Great said: "Fuck one horse, everybody calls you a horse-fucker."

  • Oblios_Cap

    I'm sure thatshe plead insanity – she was just crazy about that young girl!

  • OneDollarJuana

    I smoked pot, but never was a child molester.

    • Geminisunmars

      Not yet.

  • Chichikovovich

    Though since we're talking junior high, maybe "pre-teen" is more accurate.

  • Troglodeity

    No snark: what's the statute of limitations for child molestation? Jesus may have forgiven her (but not, of course, those damned liberal professors) … and perhaps that middle-schooler she abused eventually recovered … but can she still be prosecuted by the state?

  • Mahousu

    It should be pointed out that she is not the Republican in the contest. That's Matt Fariss, the "family values" champion who, along with various misdemeanor convictions, also had an emergency protective order issued against him in 2002 after he broke into a woman's house and "terrorized" her.

    Since this is Lynchburg, he'll probably win the election.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Shit, he'll probably be named to the Board of Regents at Liberty University.

  • From the news story:

    She said resigned her position after the superintendent of the unspecified Prince George County, Va. school confronted her about the allegation.

    About one million priests should learn from her example.

  • BlueStateLibel

    Funny, I've had liberal (and conservative) professors. I must have missed the classes where they told us to smoke pot and molest children.

  • jus_wonderin

    I wonder if her student got better grades because of this relationship? Hell, I hope she got something out of it other than long lasting emotional scars (and dominant butch lezzy nightmares).

  • thefrontpage

    Fast times at RigidMount Get High School!

    The world needs more pot-smoking, sexually-active lesbian gym teachers!

  • x111e7thst

    So she used to fuck tweens for satan under the influence of drugs but she is all better now? Dr Marcus would be so proud.

  • fuflans

    god these people.

  • neiltheblaze

    I love it. "The devil weed made me do it!!!"

    But now she's "saved" and her phenomenal lack of character and judgement will take another form, so no biggie.

  • Eve8Apples

    When I was in college, I smoked pot, never went to church and hung out with liberal professors all the time. I always liked men. What the hell is wrong with you, dike pedophile bitch?

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Myself, I would rather vote for the ex-fundy Christian who became a lesbian in middle age.

  • mereoblivion

    I can do her one better: I tried to have sex with junior-high girls back in the *sixties*–and I didn't even need pot. Of course, I was in junior high at the time, but still–don't I need to be arrested, or forgiven, or re-erected, or something? PS Unlike Miz Wallflower here, I am still the same person I was then: I still try to have sex with females my own age.

  • teebob2000

    Oh, do I KNOW it turns you into a homo!!! Woooo-boy!!!

  • DemonicRage

    Michele with one "L," please take note of this sordid confession. When you are President, fire all the liberal professors in all the colleges. Use the same power that the Chinese Government (our best friends, our best trading partners) are using to tell people in China how many hours they can use the internet and what they can actually say on the internet. We will be just like them, and they will own everything here.

  • Generation[redacted]

    It seems Coach Balbricker has conflicted feelings on the moral turpitude.

    /snark off

    Also, she's a fucking child molester and should be registered as a sex offender.

  • In Cannabis Veritas, as they say.

  • El Pinche

    Sort of OT, but let's bring back the Blingee: http://image.blingee.com/images18/content/output/

  • Guppy

    Let's see… she went from a lesbian who teaches gym in junior high to a right-winger who blames her past sins on marijuana "abuse."

    I think I just won Stereotype Bingo.

    • Come here a minute

      Damn! I was almost there but I needed the nice priest who lets the best altar boys stay overnight at the rectory.

  • Lucidamente1

    Why she's just like Jane Lynch (if Jane Lynch were a talentless retard stuck in some fundamentalist hellhole, that is).

  • comrad_darkness

    That's her? Did she teach at a school for the blind?

  • BaldarTFlagass

    OT, but from the "I Can't Believe My Fucking Eyes" Department:
    Rick Perry Comes Down Against Confederate License Plates in Texas (!!!)

    • poncho_pilot

      he sounds like one of those Occupy Wall Streeters.

      okay.

    • comrad_darkness

      He's more a calculating bastard than I thought.

  • whiterabid

    When I was in college, I found that pot led to beer. Now that we have medical mj in my state, I swear that pot leads to brew pub beer. The very potent 10% ale kind of beer.

    Does the gay thing come after the beer?

    • BaldarTFlagass

      No. After the wine.

    • terriblyfamous

      Yeah, and right before the child molestation. So you should probably get off that train, you know, soonish.

    • Hops has fýtoœstroghens.

  • VespulaMaculata

    Translation: the older, uglier years moved in and she couldn't score any prime pussy anymore, so why not turn to Jesus? That's when it always happens, when they've fucked over so many fellow mortals, no one is left who'll even talk to them. Nobody goes looking for Christ on prom night.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Maybe she thought initially that she could bag some young poon at the church youth council meetings.

  • Neilist_Returns

    Kristin, you Liberal Communist Pink SKum:

    In the future, when you post ANYTHING even close to "Wall spent the 1970s as a lesbian gym teacher bonking one of her junior high students" YOU MUST INCLUDE VIDEO.

    Or at a "bare" minimum, PICTURES. LOTS AND LOTS OF PICTURES.

    (Ideally, of naked hot Lesbians holding GUNS , , , , but I won't quibble.)

    Thank you.

    Neilist
    Wonkette's LBGT Office of Heavy Weapons
    APO Elephant Bar
    Castro Street
    San Francisco, CA

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Sheesh. There's no pleasing some people. *eyeroll*

      • Neilist_Returns

        If you're going to wish, WISH BIG!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • awwalk56

    Ole Lickity Spit Linda aka Finger Wall is known all the way up here in Ohio! But once the jesus plugged that dyke with the dildo of christer love shim seen the light! Yep shim's a legend. I just wonder how shim's going to defend being a pedophile though? I know it's legal in some parts of ole Virginny.

    • DahBoner

      Don't know how to Finger Wall, but I'm into Fingerbanging!

      BANG! BANG! BANG, BANG!

  • Vote Pedophile for state representative!

    • DahBoner

      Wanna play Little Dutch Boy?

  • GFPcat

    "But when my rebellious years came to a close I knew it was the Lord that I needed." Time for some sweet, sweet Jesus lovin' Keep fuckin' that Messiah, Linda.

  • Wonderthing

    Sorry, I can't hear her from that closet she's in.

  • mourningnmerica

    I, for one, smoked pot, but not cock. So that argument is bullshit. And I went to college, but I never fucked any pre-teens. So, I call bullshit.

  • Personal responsibility!

  • Ducksworthy

    I'm sure someone has asked this but would Marcus's pray the gay away have worked on her or does it only work on selected foster male foster children?

  • HistoriCat

    In that part of Virginia, the homosexuality can be forgiven (as long it's in the distant past) and the underage angle will be completely ignored. But if it turns out that the student she was boinking was black … well then, game over.

  • Gomez571

    "Wall said she became a Christian and has given her testimony in several churches about how she left her lesbian lifestyle and became ex-gay."
    This is all it takes to con a Baptist Church congregation into superficially forgiving anything. It is pure vicarious entertainment for the prim and proper pervs.

  • Nothingisamiss

    Her sin here is in teaching at a PUBLIC school. She now regrets ever believing that the government should be involved in education.

  • Gunner Asch

    You know, http://www.rentgirls.com isn't taken. I see a business opportunity here. Job creation!

  • raygotaway

    So the professors, lesbian witches and pot caused her pedophilia?

  • Nostrildamus

    Jesus: America's get out of jail free card.

  • subsum

    All dykes have holes. This one's no exception.

  • Barrelhse

    Cram it, bitch.

  • hollywooddood

    And I thought pot heads only ate potato chips and chocolate chip cookies.

  • terriblyfamous

    So if you're going to run for president, memorize this defense: "I shouldn't have fucked that pre-teen, but I was just so fucking high, man!"

  • Naked_Bunny

    Having gotten past fucking teenage girls, Linda Wall has moved onto fucking them over instead.

  • Some definitions:
    Gay shares the ga- root with gap, gawk, garish, gas, yawn, kasm, and kaos, and it means flashy and manic. It is not a sexual orientation. The comparisons go gay|coy, queer|straiht.
    A kid is prepubescent; a teen is 13 to 19; tween is a dumb word; a youth is under 21; a child is the offspring of someone. To the elderly are the youngerly, in their 20s.
    Pædofil is Hellènic for kid-friend, pæderast for kid-lover, efèbofil for teen-friend, efèberast for teen-lover.

    The whiners were the parents, and some posters here, not either one in the relationship. Learn to read.

    • SorosBot

      You're funny. Not intentionally so, but very funny.

      • Dok-cupy Everything

        As I said above, this person's posts sound a bit like Jared Loughner's strangely obsessive rants, albeit with a different focus. The hectoring pseudo-scholarly tone is there, though this snowflake is a bit more articulate.

        I genuinely hope this person does not have a gun or a fixation with any prominent celebrities or politicians.

        • They do not at all, troll. I "hector"? What does this mean; I'm not a coward, don't thole dumbasses and liars and shysters and slanderers, and care about my and everyone's beliefs as they farly reach and touch our lives.

          A gun is too impersonal.

      • poorgradstudent

        I wish I could say that this is the first time I saw someone whose arguments could be deflated just by pointing out things like "Words mean different things", but…

        • A word has one, first, foremost, best meaning; some meanings which come after that are wrong:

          fast
          long
          thin, thick
          quick
          meat
          guy
          nice
          deer
          man

    • Splitting pubic hairs.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Guys, I think Autymn D. C. 's just saying he was against child molesting before his conservative christian candidate friend was for it. Wait. Maybe the other way around?

      • I'm not a he, blind cretin (The Francs broke Latin and the Normans English.), nor am I friends with conservatives, Kristians, or politicians.

  • Antispandex

    There is no sin that cannot be forgiven…if you are a protestant Teapublican.

  • Uniprober

    Quite a month, this Cocktober.

  • mavenmaven

    Worth noting that the other heavily funded republican candidate in that story is quite the fun guy as well: http://www2.dailyprogress.com/news/2011/oct/26/al

  • rickmaci

    And this conservacreep is relatively less physically dangerous than the stalker Rethug candidate. From the jump page: "Republican candidate Matt Fariss of Rustburg was named in an emergency protective order in 2002 that required him to stay away from a Lynchburg woman." SMH.

  • MozakiBlocks

    Why isn't this woman in jail?

  • jqheywood

    In other news, pot turns you homo, did you know?

    Now that's "News you can use…"

  • Neoyorquino

    . . . With a junior high school student. Doesn't that make her a child molester/sex offender?

    • If the student says so, the former. But the act to make one a sex offender is the same as if you masturbd within 3 years of puberty; see 1 USC 1. One can use this argument against any legal official.

      • Dok-cupy Everything

        Seriously, you're tossing out some intensely creepy stuff in this thread. Please go away.

        • What is creepy is your knee-jerk ungrounded attitudes as one of many American sheep. You must believe the Earth is flat, brain cells don't bud, and sex is a sin worse than murder.

  • ttommyunger

    Don't know why she's giving God so much credit, He's also the one who gave her a face that would stop an eight-day clock.

  • Negropolis

    Looking at that picture, I think the 'cure' didn't stick.

    So pedophiles are totally cool in the GOP? Good to know. Republicans love gays even more when they can force them back in the closet.

    Let's be clear, if she was a dude, they'd have ran her ass out the district, let alone allowing her to run for office, regardless of whether he'd have "repented" or not. Something is wrong, here. Something is very, very wrong.

  • Tundra Grifter

    Here's a "bizarre defense" far more creative than librul professors and too much cronic:

    "Stacy Schuler, a former gym and health teacher, had sex with five former students, some of whom were football players, at the school in suburban Cincinnati, where she taught since 2000. During her trial, which ended Thursday, Schuler's lawyers defended her actions with explanations ranging from her vegan diet, the use of the antidepressants, blackouts from alcohol and even irritable bowel syndrome, claiming it rendered her unable to determine right from wrong. "
    http://gma.yahoo.com/ohio-gym-teacher-jailed-sex-

  • RedAmanda

    I tried looking at this skank while pushing a cuke up my honey hole. Nothing. She couldn't make water wet. Must be jesusoid.

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