THE BIRTHER QUEEN RIDES AGAIN  6:31 pm October 26, 2011

Hopeless Clown Orly Taitz Officially Files For U.S. Senate Run

by Kirsten Boyd Johnson

Still in it to win!Dim-bulb weirdo Orly Taitz has done it! She (barely?) managed to fill in most of the spaces on one of those U.S. Senator job application forms with a few hard-won manual scribbles and then decided to add “Dr.” before her name in the top left margin space, to make it seem serious. Comedy thanks you, Orly!

As everyone probably no longer recalls, this is not her first brush with utter campaign-related failure (now a separate category from her other divisions of total human failure) — she ran unsuccessfully for the GOP nomination for California Secretary of State in 2010. Why will voters take her seriously for this particular whirl of the psycho merry-go-round?

From a comical September interview with the Sacramento Bee:

“I think I do have a chance specifically because I do speak Spanish and I speak Hebrew,” Taitz told The Bee after attending a town hall-style event on Latino issues at the California Republican Party convention in Los Angeles.

There you have it! She is as qualified as any municipal court translator to run for Senate. [Orly Taitz/Sacramento Bee]

 
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{ 221 comments }

nounverb911 October 26, 2011 at 6:33 pm

Really? Isn't there enough oily taint in the senate already?

Callyson October 26, 2011 at 7:27 pm

That's the santorum.

iburl October 26, 2011 at 10:07 pm

Things aren't the same since Larry Craig left.

Barb October 26, 2011 at 6:33 pm

"this is not her first brush with utter campaign-related failure"
Correction:
It is "udder" (she's a cow)
You're welcome!

nounverb911 October 26, 2011 at 6:44 pm

Barb, glad to see the Ladybug won.

Barb October 26, 2011 at 6:55 pm

Thanks! Check out the antennae. It makes me miss Belushi. http://i42.photobucket.com/albums/e324/Barb092162

Two daughters, two phone calls-5 minutes apart, two pregnancies, both due on the same day. Today is the best day ever!

nounverb911 October 26, 2011 at 6:59 pm

Mazel Tov! I wish you nothing but good news.

Barb October 26, 2011 at 7:07 pm

You are so wonderful, thanks so much!

weejee October 26, 2011 at 7:09 pm

Congrats Barb. After raising four boys, Ms. weejee & I think grandbabies are the reward one gets for not having killed the new parents while they were growing-up on those occasions when they richly deserved it.

Barb October 26, 2011 at 7:28 pm

Grandchildren are so cool. You just to fill them up with Pop Rocks and Mountain Dew, shake them up and hand them back quickly.

user-of-owls October 26, 2011 at 7:17 pm

Well how's the cosmic timing on that, eh? See? I told you that the Wonkette hive-mind was sending positive love-beams your way!

Felicitaciones for new rug rats and winning bug hats!

Barb October 26, 2011 at 7:31 pm

And you were right! I want to go to the craft store and get some yarn tonight and I know that Jeffery doesn't feel like it. I'm feeling all Amish and stuff right now.
I want one of the girls to name their baby "Wonkette" Wonder what that would cost me?

chicken_thief October 27, 2011 at 10:48 am

BOVINE LIBEL!!!

nounverb911 October 26, 2011 at 6:33 pm

Okay, Ill bite, where are her naturalization papers?

Arken October 26, 2011 at 6:35 pm

I want to see her long form filing.

CapnFatback October 26, 2011 at 6:46 pm

You're the only one.

Besides, she's a dentist. You should be interested in the long-form filling.

HogeyeGrex October 26, 2011 at 6:53 pm

Dentistry is theft!!!

PuckStopsHere October 26, 2011 at 10:50 pm

You anti-Dentite bastard.

Arken October 26, 2011 at 6:35 pm

Hopeless Clown Orly Taitz Officially Files for Senate Loss

FIFY.

AlterNewt October 26, 2011 at 6:36 pm

Pat Robertson won't stand for this kind of foolishness.

Chet Kincaid October 26, 2011 at 9:48 pm

hahaha

flamingpdog October 26, 2011 at 10:56 pm

John Mc Cain will. According to Megs, he's among the longest-standing Senators (in politics).

Jukesgrrl October 26, 2011 at 11:35 pm

She's a dentist. They have lots of experience standing on the job. So … qualified!

bikerlaureate October 26, 2011 at 11:50 pm

GANTRY LIBEL !

GuanoFaucet October 26, 2011 at 6:36 pm

I think I do have a chance specifically because I do speak Spanish and I speak Hebrew

Haha, yeah, but the fact that you are fluent in batshit crazy is gonna doom your chances, you fucking moron.

teebob2000 October 26, 2011 at 7:19 pm

Yeah but it virtually guarantees she wins the GOP nomination.

memzilla October 26, 2011 at 6:37 pm

"I think I do have a chance specifically because I do speak Spanish and I speak Hebrew”

Not even a chance to run a deli in Barcelona, you a**hat.

Chichikovovich October 26, 2011 at 6:59 pm

Damn straight. Everyone will go to the Catalan-speaking deli next door.

Occupy V572 October 26, 2011 at 7:31 pm

Orly expects the Spanish Inquisition.

starfanglednut October 26, 2011 at 9:50 pm

Her chief weapons are…

MaxNeanderthal October 27, 2011 at 5:32 pm

Three of her main weapons are looking like Sacha Baron Cohen in drag, insanity, root canal work and hair color from a $5 barber. Er, four of her main weapons….

Trannysurprise October 26, 2011 at 7:45 pm

Ironically, it's English she isn't so fucking good at.

nounverb911 October 26, 2011 at 6:38 pm

This is good news for her dental patients.

Mahousu October 26, 2011 at 6:39 pm

It looks like she's not quite sure how to spell her name. Is that ORLY, OALY, or DALY?

I also see she dotted her capital I the second time around. If only she had drawn a little heart, it would have been perfect.

nounverb911 October 26, 2011 at 6:41 pm

Oral. She's a dentist?

Callyson October 26, 2011 at 7:28 pm

I'd say it's OREALLY, but BillO has claimed that moniker.

HogeyeGrex October 26, 2011 at 8:51 pm

Okay, we can't have literacy tests for voters, but Jesus H. Carbuncle Christ in a flaming chartreuse muu-muu, can we please have them for candidates?

e_z October 26, 2011 at 6:39 pm

hmmmmmmm, she lives there? http://maps.google.com/maps?q=29859+santa+mararit

Hmmmmmmmm…

nounverb911 October 26, 2011 at 6:42 pm

Burning bag of dog poo in 3…2…1…

Generation[redacted] October 26, 2011 at 6:48 pm

Wrapped in a birf certificat

weejee October 26, 2011 at 7:12 pm
CapnFatback October 26, 2011 at 6:49 pm

Home office?

Or, in honor of Dr. Oily Taints: home orifice?

OzoneTom October 26, 2011 at 6:58 pm

Yeech! That's one cavity even I would never fill.

GeorgiaBurning October 26, 2011 at 7:00 pm

Subject to change if the Quizno's cuts off her free wi-fi.

neiltheblaze October 26, 2011 at 7:11 pm

I'll bet her office is actually a booth at the Quiznos across the street. Or maybe the Pizza Hut.

neiltheblaze October 26, 2011 at 7:13 pm

There I go – not refreshing the page before posting…..

El Pinche October 26, 2011 at 10:05 pm

Figures she lives in a Quiznos. Crazy ass bitch.

DaRooster October 27, 2011 at 10:32 am

Don't a whole bunch of rats hang out there?

flamingpdog October 26, 2011 at 11:00 pm

We gotz her address.

#OCCUPY ORLY!!1!

DaRooster October 27, 2011 at 10:32 am

NO!

Respitetini October 26, 2011 at 6:39 pm

Best news ever. Unless, of course, we hear that Christine O'Donnell is planning another go at it.

Barrelhse October 26, 2011 at 7:21 pm

Sex?

littlebigdaddy October 27, 2011 at 12:17 am

Personal grooming?

elviouslyqueer October 26, 2011 at 6:40 pm

The only reason why she put herself down as "Republican" is because California doesn't recognize "Completely Fucking Batshit Insane" as a political party.

RavenRant October 26, 2011 at 7:22 pm

Those terms are now synonymous.

user-of-owls October 26, 2011 at 7:33 pm

Not true! California does recognize "Completely Fucking Batshit Insane" as a political party. But only at the local level.

Jukesgrrl October 26, 2011 at 11:38 pm

Isn't Breitbart the chairman?

Negropolis October 26, 2011 at 11:10 pm

I don't know, man. Did you see the primary circus after the ouster of Guv Davis? Any state in which Gary Coleman is a gubernatorial candidate kind of corners the market on completely fucking batshit insane.

chascates October 26, 2011 at 6:41 pm

This is good news for Wonkette. And political cartoonists.

AlterNewt October 26, 2011 at 9:53 pm

…and Jim Ward.

NorthStarSpanx October 27, 2011 at 10:16 am

And Joe the Plumber. He might as well not be the only epic fail of a U.S. bicameral legislative candidate in 2012.

OC_Surf_Serf_#OLA October 26, 2011 at 6:42 pm

Jeez, Rancho Santa Margarita is a Galtish Republican master-planned-community middle-management toll-road-accessed foreclosure fucking wasteland.

Perfect metaphor for this fraud.

Chet Kincaid October 26, 2011 at 9:54 pm

Why do they even bother with the fucking Spanish names?

Bonzos_Bed_Time October 26, 2011 at 6:43 pm

Horray, gefilte fish tacos for everyone!

Nostrildamus October 26, 2011 at 6:54 pm

Mmmm. hot, wet tacos …

teebob2000 October 26, 2011 at 7:23 pm

FISHY tacos

starfanglednut October 26, 2011 at 9:51 pm

Oy.

AlterNewt October 26, 2011 at 9:55 pm

Oy -Vey commo va.

snackypants October 27, 2011 at 9:38 am

Thanks Bonzo for the new food truck idea. First stop, the office of Dr. Orly Taitz.

CapnFatback October 26, 2011 at 6:44 pm

and then decided to add “Dr.” before her name in the top left margin space, to make it seem serious

It is serious. Very serious. It stands for "Dracula."

Jukesgrrl October 26, 2011 at 11:40 pm

On trend, too.

ManchuCandidate October 26, 2011 at 6:44 pm

I guess she's going to have to hide her association with Boris Badenov and her homicidal desire to keel moose and sqwirrel.

Tundra Grifter October 26, 2011 at 6:46 pm

So she's broke and thinks she can live off campaign contributions? There's certainly a tradition for that.

Ten bucks says she can't properly track those contributions, however. There are actually laws and rules about that. She won't file properly – and she'll get in trouble, down the road, for mixing campaign and personal expenditures.

Just ask Mario Rubio about that.

We need to track this – it's not going to end well.

For her. It's going to be swell for us.

TitsAkimbo October 26, 2011 at 6:47 pm

“I think I do have a chance specifically because I do speak Spanish and I speak Hebrew,” Taitz told The Bee

But how about English, Orly? Do you speak English?
It appears she'll finally get her chance to finish…

Tundra Grifter October 26, 2011 at 6:48 pm

Did she purchase the obvious domain names yet?

SudsMcKenzie October 26, 2011 at 6:54 pm

TaintPAC?

Tundra Grifter October 26, 2011 at 8:49 pm

Did Rick Santorum lock up "FudgePAC.org?"

weejee October 26, 2011 at 7:14 pm

oily_twatz.com

show_yer_taitz.com

johnnyzhivago October 26, 2011 at 8:27 pm

No, I just looked and was going to buy them, but really why the fuck would I bother.

Tundra Grifter October 26, 2011 at 8:49 pm

JZ: It's not like she's going to have the cash to buy them from you…

johnnyzhivago October 26, 2011 at 9:03 pm

Exactly – or how many hits could you get from a parody. She's a parody in and of herself.

AnAmericanInTO October 26, 2011 at 9:41 pm

The better use of time would be a "Orly" Twitter feed. Any takers?

Rotundo_ October 26, 2011 at 6:51 pm

So is there an actual Santa Margarita? Is she the patron saint of salt encrusted glasses or strawberries and booze or what? As for the Oily one, hey, since she apparently fucks like a mink, albeit a crazy fucking mink, she'll get along fine in the senate. Crazy never stopped anyone in politics, and if she spends some of the campaign loot on a makeover and some serious therapy she might yet do well. Either that or more likely flame out in a really untoward and sad manner. Good for comedy either way!

Generation[redacted] October 26, 2011 at 7:04 pm

May the Lord bless this bottle, and all who dwell within it.

Tundra Grifter October 26, 2011 at 8:52 pm

Rotundo:

Rapid weasel sex is fun until you get bit.

She doesn't look like a woman who would call and call and call until your phone melts. She looks like a woman who would camp out on your front lawn. She'd make the OWS folks look like drive-by tourists.

Nothingisamiss October 27, 2011 at 9:25 am

What politician ever spent money on therapy that was not massage?

CapnFatback October 26, 2011 at 6:52 pm

No doubt. I'm sure there are some desperate Americans just waiting for a long, hard filing.

Nostrildamus October 26, 2011 at 6:58 pm

I'm very excited about her new ¿- ® – ♬ tax plan.

fuflans October 26, 2011 at 7:15 pm

there you go. showing off those commenting skills.

Nostrildamus October 27, 2011 at 12:14 pm

Didn't take that calligraphy class for nothin'.

flamingpdog October 26, 2011 at 11:06 pm

Needz moar nueve.

Biel_ze_Bubba October 26, 2011 at 6:58 pm

If the California GOP slate looks anything like their national slate, I can see why Taitz might think she can run with the pack.

I keep expecting that this huge scandal will break, where we find out that the Dems have been putting something in the GOP's water. (It's so hard to believe that they're actually making their own Kool-Aid.)

Blueb4sunrise October 26, 2011 at 6:59 pm

Thanks Kirsten . We needed this.

JoshuaNorton October 26, 2011 at 7:01 pm

Gee – eeezus Keeerist!!!

She speaks Hebrew? If she had been with Anne Frank they would have voted her out of the attic.

Chichikovovich October 26, 2011 at 7:02 pm

Thank you, Ms. Taitz, thank you. May I call you Orly? I can't express my gratitude to you enough Orly. I mean that. I don't think I could take another "former Marine in critical condition after police riot" story.

YouBetcha October 26, 2011 at 7:03 pm

I speak Spanish, French, Farsi, German and piglatin. I know how to say "Shut the fuck up" in Hebrew and Russian. Which I believe means I'm more qualified than she is. Plus, both my hair and my tits are real and original. I'm three up on her already. I should run against her. They primary here in CA for the Senate seat, don't they?

chascates October 26, 2011 at 7:11 pm

Shit, you should run for President.

user-of-owls October 26, 2011 at 7:31 pm

I should run against her.

That's overkill. Just run one of your tits against her. You'll win by a landslide.

Limeylizzie October 26, 2011 at 8:18 pm

I love you.

flamingpdog October 26, 2011 at 11:09 pm

I'd vote for your avatar!

Well, if you put a bag over its head.

And duct-taped its mouth shut.

littlebigdaddy October 26, 2011 at 11:19 pm

I speak Chinese, French, and German. Don't know many rude words though. No tits, not that much hair.

Nothingisamiss October 27, 2011 at 9:32 am

I'm scheduling my ACORN voting fraud California vote for you right now.

YouBetcha October 27, 2011 at 6:56 pm

Thank you for doing the Lord's work.

Antispandex October 26, 2011 at 7:05 pm

I thought it was Orally Taints, and I was totally going to vote for her based on that…then I came to my senses.

Wilcoxyz October 26, 2011 at 7:06 pm

Drill, baby, drill!

starfanglednut October 26, 2011 at 9:54 pm

Eeexcellent (rubs hands together).

cobweb2 October 26, 2011 at 7:06 pm

The media coverage she commands will allow her to continue walking hand in hand with Sarah all the way to the bank. History may well judge her to have been one of the best snake oil salespersons of the first 20 years of the 21st century.

Callyson October 26, 2011 at 7:08 pm

Looks like Cali doesn't want to be left behind in the Craziest State competition. Arizona, Florida, Texas–game on, bitches!

chascates October 26, 2011 at 7:10 pm

And Joe the Plumber re-announced he's running for the House. Maybe those Aztecs/Mayans/Lizard People were right about 2012!

Numbat_Dundee October 26, 2011 at 7:12 pm

I know a gay love poem in Ancient Greek (despite being heterosexual) and speak a sort of pidgeon Mandarin. Can I be a senator too? Or perhaps I can be a tranny, oil my nipples and call myself "Oily Tits".

Mort_Sinclair October 26, 2011 at 7:14 pm

I wanna know where this cretin went to dental school. Seriously. Whatever institution gave this woman a DMD or DDS needs to lose its accreditation. She doesn't have the cognitive skills of a box of spaghetti.

BarackMyWorld October 26, 2011 at 7:39 pm

Same university where Randal Paul got his optometry degree perhaps?

LowProfileinGA October 26, 2011 at 7:50 pm

Worse even. He's actually an ophthalmologist, a freaking MD from Duke, if you can believe it.

BarackMyWorld October 26, 2011 at 8:12 pm

The only degree these knuckleheads deserve is the third.

Slim_Pickins October 26, 2011 at 8:00 pm

A furin school, Hebrew University.

RadioOcupados October 26, 2011 at 10:42 pm

The same place Michele got her Law Degree. But, remember, what do you call the stupidest member of a Dental School class?

fuflans October 26, 2011 at 7:16 pm

does orly have to specify her gender?

Tommmcattt October 26, 2011 at 7:25 pm

Only to her gynocologist.

Callyson October 26, 2011 at 7:30 pm

All of 'em, Katie.

Beowoof October 26, 2011 at 8:19 pm

Does neutral count?

BaldarTFlagass October 26, 2011 at 8:31 pm

I believe you have her confused with Ann Coulter.

Negropolis October 26, 2011 at 11:14 pm

It's really too bad that the government doesn't have a "hell-banshee" classification.

littlebigdaddy October 27, 2011 at 12:20 am

Should we send Team Tranny Hunter after her?

Dok-cupy Everything October 26, 2011 at 7:17 pm

Oh, thank the seven mad gods–we needed some comic relief, even if it is from an asshat.

Pink remote-controlled dildos for everyone!

starfanglednut October 26, 2011 at 9:57 pm

YOU get a pink remote controlled dildo, YOU get a pink remote controlled dildo, YOU get a pink remote controlled dildo….

Crank_Tango October 26, 2011 at 7:17 pm

This is good news for the nice jewish(?) lady what got all her moneyz tooked by that ugly woman(?).

mavenmaven October 26, 2011 at 7:17 pm

Nowadays, if the Koch Bros or Art Pope organization get behind her, we may see her in power. Elections are now privately owned in post-weimar Merka, especially after the Citizen United ruling.

Indiepalin October 26, 2011 at 7:18 pm

Calling Dr. Howard, Dr. Fine, Dr. Howard
Calling Dr. Howard, Dr. Fine, Dr. Howard

ttommyunger October 26, 2011 at 9:36 pm

Whoop, whoop, whoop! Why, I oughta…….

Ramon X October 27, 2011 at 9:26 am

Oh, a wise guy, eh…

ttommyunger October 27, 2011 at 9:31 am

Nyuck, nyuck!

Bonzos_Bed_Time October 26, 2011 at 11:24 pm

Ha, just saw that episode last month. Good times…

fuflans October 26, 2011 at 7:22 pm

if this increases the possibility of demon sheep-type ads, i'm all for it.

BarackMyWorld October 26, 2011 at 7:23 pm

Dr. Orly, as in "She's a Doctor? ORLY?"

MiniMencken October 26, 2011 at 7:23 pm

Spanish AND Hebrew? ¡Oy, carramba!

starfanglednut October 26, 2011 at 9:58 pm

Don't have a cow, man.

actor212 October 27, 2011 at 11:32 am

Ju make dat soun' like it's a bad t'ing, mang.

Dok-cupy Everything October 26, 2011 at 7:27 pm

What's truly sad about this is that no matter how batshit right-wing her platform, Fox News still won't hire her.

user-of-owls October 26, 2011 at 8:38 pm

On a scale of tragedy that ranges from the Rwandan genocide (10) to 'they don't have that shoe in my size' (1), this ranks significantly lower than the latter.

JackObin October 26, 2011 at 7:28 pm

Hey, "Dim-Bulb Weirdo" is Little Georgie Bush's sobriquet!

LettucePrey October 26, 2011 at 7:28 pm

O RLY?

Slim_Pickins October 26, 2011 at 7:28 pm

If you think this is funny you should go to her Wiki page, but beware, she has a black belt (2nd degree) in karate.

Ohforcripessake October 26, 2011 at 7:33 pm

Oh bless her heart! She's stepping into that considerable vacuum being left by the fading stars of SP and 1-L-Michele!

user-of-owls October 26, 2011 at 8:34 pm

So, when a vacuum leaves, does it leave a vacuum that is then replaced by different vacuum?

BaldarTFlagass October 26, 2011 at 8:44 pm

Makes no difference. Nature abhors them all.

user-of-owls October 26, 2011 at 8:52 pm

True, oh so true. It's a shame that before they could breed, they didn't get their tubes tied.

Steverino247 October 26, 2011 at 7:35 pm

Not to be a picker of nits, but the municipal and superior courts were merged some years ago in CA, so there are no more municipal court translators. Since all Superior Court Translators I know are way smarter (and better looking) than Dr. Taintz, speaking Spanish is not sufficient to even get to their level. I somehow doubt that Dr. Taintz' debate skills ("Let me feenish!") are up to the task, either.

Tommmcattt October 26, 2011 at 7:40 pm

I would SO pay to see her debate almost anyone, though. I'd even think about it if she were debating an inanimate object or Gavin Newsome.

Nostrildamus October 26, 2011 at 7:41 pm

Where's remote for this dildo?

iburl October 26, 2011 at 10:10 pm

She's a dentist, so it's possible she left it in one of her patients. You really don't want to know what dentists do when you're "under".

flamingpdog October 26, 2011 at 11:17 pm

If I were her patient, I'd be worried about surreptitious cavity searches.

Sharkey October 26, 2011 at 7:43 pm

She thinks "CA" is both a state and a district. Also her FEC identification number is missing. Let me see here, where did that stamp go…..

REJECTED

iburl October 26, 2011 at 9:22 pm

Are you from Kenya or something?

Sharkey October 26, 2011 at 10:13 pm

Do they actually have a representative democracy there? If so, then yes.

flamingpdog October 26, 2011 at 11:21 pm

I think Orly would fit right in in Kenya.

Guppy October 26, 2011 at 7:51 pm

I would have pegged her for an "English Onry!" nut. I guess her nuttery is focused to laser precision.

hollywooddood October 26, 2011 at 7:53 pm

Senator Oily Titz does have a nice ring to it.

smashedinhat October 26, 2011 at 7:54 pm

I wish she had been sitting beside Samuel Joseph Wurzelbacher when he was dissed by Pete Dominick on CNN this morning, hilarious!

Not_So_Much October 26, 2011 at 7:55 pm

Exactly what is needed to straighten things out: More Real Estate Dentists.

flamingpdog October 26, 2011 at 11:23 pm

She's a living bridge to nowhere.

chicken_thief October 27, 2011 at 10:54 am

and /Attorney!

voodooeconomics October 26, 2011 at 7:56 pm

Never a dull moment. Whats the plataform. Obama's birth certificate and the Kenya relationship.

politics_nerd October 26, 2011 at 8:01 pm

The Orly Taitz Comedy Tour is how I know God loves me. One of the ways, anyway.

zhubajie October 26, 2011 at 8:09 pm

"I do speak Spanish and I speak Hebrew."

English?

littlebigdaddy October 26, 2011 at 9:51 pm

Hebrew: is she a mohel?

Beowoof October 26, 2011 at 8:14 pm

The key question is does she speak teabagger?

RadioOcupados October 26, 2011 at 10:44 pm

I'm sure she is well versed in teabagging.

mrblifil October 26, 2011 at 8:14 pm

Me likey the crazy sex.

Limeylizzie October 26, 2011 at 8:19 pm

Where was that piece about what a great, and tight and wet if I recall, fuck she was? That was astounding.

user-of-owls October 26, 2011 at 8:44 pm

I've always felt that the credibility of the source's report was rather impugned by the fact that he'd actually slept with her.

ttommyunger October 26, 2011 at 9:38 pm

Plus, I think he was actually buggering her; accidentally on purpose, of course. That would explain the "tight" part.

user-of-owls October 26, 2011 at 10:00 pm

Then I really don't want to know about the "wet" part.

ttommyunger October 26, 2011 at 10:05 pm

Ewwwww!

flamingpdog October 26, 2011 at 11:25 pm

Taitz/Santorum/every year

owhatever October 26, 2011 at 8:19 pm

Joe the Plumber. Oily Titz. And the circus hasn't even reached the town limits yet. Brisket Palin has to be thinking about it.

flamingpdog October 26, 2011 at 11:26 pm

"Brisket Palin" and "thinking" in the same sentence? Had to rub my eyes on that one.

x111e7thst October 26, 2011 at 8:25 pm

Slogan: So Tight, so Hot, so Oily (for Senate)!

user-of-owls October 26, 2011 at 8:27 pm

When students ask me what they should take to get started on a high-powered career, my recommendation is always a double major in Spanish and Hebrew.

not that Dewey October 26, 2011 at 10:48 pm

This is good news for Juan Epstein.

user-of-owls October 26, 2011 at 11:29 pm

La Chaim!

BaldarTFlagass October 26, 2011 at 8:29 pm

Orly for Senator! She has a tight pussy!

BaldarTFlagass October 26, 2011 at 8:30 pm

Orly just hasn't been the same ever since they opened Charles de Gaulle.

littlebigdaddy October 26, 2011 at 9:52 pm

Really down on its luck.

Negropolis October 26, 2011 at 11:21 pm

Kind of off subject, but one of my most vivid memories of flying into France is that when you got off the airplane, the first smells you were confronted with upon entering the terminal were piss and body odor, which was kind of shocking after having flown in from Frankfurt Airport in Germany which was insanely clean, sterile, even.

BaldarTFlagass October 27, 2011 at 7:48 am

That's because the Germans are really the Borg, half organic and half synthetic. That's why everything is so neat, clean, and sterile there. I prefer my Europe to be in the Mediterranean style, a little decayed and raunchy at first glance. Though France sometimes seems to want to take it to the extreme.

flamingpdog October 26, 2011 at 11:31 pm

Was that anything like the Opening of Misty Beethoven?

comrad_darkness October 26, 2011 at 8:32 pm

Penmanship is such a lost art.

shrillharpy October 26, 2011 at 8:44 pm

Where's the long form birf certificate?!?

smitallica October 26, 2011 at 9:20 pm

She can speak Hebrew and Spanish.
And I can say "lunatic cunt" in ALL languages: "Orly Taitz"

ttommyunger October 26, 2011 at 9:40 pm

Gosh, does this mean she won't pair up with fellow Birther convert, Rick Perry? I am crushed!

Blueb4sunrise October 26, 2011 at 9:57 pm

OT but Important. If you've seen the "Google a day" ads that attempt an interesting question……one I saw today is:

"If you have three dimes and a quarter in your pocket, how many grams are you carrying?"

DO NOT ANSWER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's a trap!!!!!!!!!!!

DahBoner October 27, 2011 at 3:47 pm

Is this the movie where the hippy sells weed to a cop in uniform?

starfanglednut October 26, 2011 at 10:00 pm

Could. Not. Fucking. Make. This. Shit. Up.

iburl October 26, 2011 at 10:06 pm

I'd rather vote for an owl.

HobbesEvilTwin October 26, 2011 at 10:14 pm

We Jews are usually good at policing ourselves from these sorts of disgraces*. What the fuck Jewish community?

* excepting Joe Leiberman

RadioOcupados October 26, 2011 at 11:06 pm

* Paul Wolfowitz, Bill Kristol, Lloyd Blankfein, Howie Kurtz, Breitfart and many of his typing tumors, Eric Cantor, Bernie Madoff…a short list. Remember the police usually make things worse.

imissopus October 26, 2011 at 10:15 pm

From the state that gave you Gary Coleman and a porn star both running for governor in the same election, I can only say: you're welcome, America.

Negropolis October 26, 2011 at 11:26 pm

And the state that after that circus gave us Arnold Schwarzenegger, whose English is even worse than that of Dr. Taitzer-tot.

Sharkey October 26, 2011 at 10:30 pm

Dear Dr. ORLY TAiTZ,

An update to your recent purchase of "FEC FORM 2" is available for registered Repellicans.

Please Click Here to download.

Negropolis October 26, 2011 at 10:37 pm

I pity Moldova. Now, they won't just be known for being the poorest county in the whole of Europe, the Mississippi of Europe, but the birthplace of Orly Taitz. How much more embarrassment can this diminutive republic take? :(

PuckStopsHere October 26, 2011 at 10:45 pm

She's crazy enough to fit in with the rest of the GOP field running for prexy. Why's is Orly selling herself short?

Negropolis October 26, 2011 at 11:08 pm

I'm glad she speaks Hebrew and Exspanyole, 'cause she sure as hell doesn't speak English.

DahBoner October 27, 2011 at 3:48 pm

No speakee Englee..

Pragmatist2 October 26, 2011 at 11:30 pm

I want to see her birth certificate — and then I want to knock off the doctor who delivered her.

Jukesgrrl October 26, 2011 at 11:48 pm

But have any major corporations deteriorated under her leadership? That seems to be a requirement for Republican women candidates in California. Extra points if her children have police records, she hires undocumented workers, or "has experience" with demon farm animals.

ChrisM2011 October 27, 2011 at 12:52 am

Granted, I may not have the best penmanship, but that looks like something the Zodiac Killer would leave for police.

RadioOcupados October 27, 2011 at 1:34 am

A good test taker, but concrete cortex.

dennis1943 October 27, 2011 at 6:07 am

Just what we need……..yet another "overqualified" candidate……..

BS4Dummies October 27, 2011 at 7:15 am

Does this mean the "brownshirts" are coming again?

DaRooster October 27, 2011 at 10:34 am

Republican Presidential nominee or GTFO!

Come to think of it… GTFO!

chicken_thief October 27, 2011 at 10:50 am

Your move, Jerome Corsi.

actor212 October 27, 2011 at 10:52 am

Oh boy! This is going to be great!

*rubbing hands together*

SilverTsunami October 27, 2011 at 11:33 am

Finally! Millions of monolingual-Hebrew families, adrift in California, will have representation.

Wonderthing October 27, 2011 at 12:42 pm

If she could speak Klingon it would undoubtedly be a landslide victory.

Nostrildamus October 27, 2011 at 12:46 pm

From Orly's Wikipedia page:

"In 2010, artist Dan Lacey produced a widely discussed painting of a nude Orly Taitz after giving birth to an object resembling a pancake"

DahBoner October 27, 2011 at 3:46 pm

No need to use butter to fry that pancake, when you have OILY TAINT…

valgal2342 October 27, 2011 at 1:04 pm

Election grifting is the new trend in jobs.

DahBoner October 27, 2011 at 1:14 pm

Doctor, doctor, give me the news, I gotta bad case of genital herpes from loving you….

Wonderthing October 27, 2011 at 5:59 pm

…and by the way, that's Dr. Wonderthing to you.

outragedcitizen October 27, 2011 at 7:39 pm

Is it just me or does that woman have the handwriting of a third grader?

user-of-owls October 26, 2011 at 7:37 pm

Too late. The name "Barbara_i Wonkette" has already been trademarked by a couple from Long Island.

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