how to shut rick perry up

Fox News Turd Says Rick Perry Is Just Like Occupy Wall Street Protesters

Sausage queens.Swollen imp-turd Neil Cavuto had Rick Perry on the Fox News business slash-fiction channel the other day, and Rick Perry did his cum-mumble about bailing out Wall Street or whatever rhymes he bit off Ron Paul’s eyebrow, and then the swollen imp-turd Neil Cavuto says, “You sound like one of those Occupy Wall Streeters.” And then Rick Perry is speechless, for what seems like hours.

And then Neil lisps, “Okay,” and that’s the end of the segment, folks. Great television for a great nation. Oh wait …. [Think Progress]

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    1. Naked_Bunny

      Fox news channels would be so much better if they featured nothing but people staring mutely at the camera. Michele Bachmann would really shine in that environment.

  1. Barb

    Neil Cavuto is just suffering the effects of the Gardasil vaccine that Rick forced him to have, poor guy. Hey, Michele Bachmann! Now there are two of them.

    1. OkieDokieDog

      I'm pretty sure that in FOXland only sexually active 12 year old girls get that vaccine so Neil is free to spread his genital warts to… whatever. A consenting duck, maybe?

  2. Preferred Customer

    I am disappointed that we didn't get to see the video of Perry during that 26 minute blank stretch where he was silent.

    1. YouBetcha

      That pause wouldn't even get a raised eyebrow in Texas. In fact, that's pretty standard. My in-laws will pause that long before answering the question, "What's your name?"

    2. Not_So_Much

      I'm sure that was in inadvertent typo, but frankly Nell makes a lot more sense than either Neil or the idiot with the cowboy costume.

      Nell an' Mi'i – like t'ee in the way!

    1. fuflans

      and he has the exact same inflections as bachmann.

      what is that, the speech pattern of the ignorant born again wingtard?

  3. veritass

    God dammit Neil. First rule of Niggerhead is don't call each other offensive names, like "Occupy Wall Streeters." You're kicked out of Niggerhead.

      1. chicken_thief

        In Niggerhead, the coloreds are only allowed behind the pickup, not behind the steering wheel. You need a damn good rope to get 'em all the way up the hill to the house.

  4. SorosBot

    Perry is like Occupy Wall Street in that both have sent out some mixed messages; however OWS does so because it's comprised of a whole bunch of people who disagree on some issues, while Rick as a single person doesn't have an excuse except general stupidity.

  5. Maman

    This was Rick's evening wear and talent portion of the pageant (dramatic reading) He doesn't have to do the onstage question until the next round!

  6. Limeylizzie

    Which of you ,that were so furious at Hopey on the last thread , will be voting for this clown instead?

    1. Terry

      Not me. Hopey hasn't done everything I would have liked, but he did do a good bit of it or a version of it.

      1. chicken_thief

        I'm looking forward to a few more months of Executive Decree-ism. Let's see how long the Republicans can last standing on "No!" regardless of what the question is.

        1. Terry

          Especially on topics that the majority of Americans support. Republicans should vocally oppose those, then Hopey Executive Decree 'em.

          1. Biel_ze_Bubba

            Speaking of the power of NO … I'm waiting for a re-elected Obama (with no worries about the next election) to veto any bill that extends the Bush tax cuts. Without his signature, they expire, and Congress has to hammer out a compromise that he finds acceptable. I think this is part of the GOP's insane fixation on denying him a second term.

      1. Limeylizzie

        I think we have to take a long view, I grew up with a Socialist government in power during my early years and then when Thatcher came into power, when I was a teenager, the destruction was astonishing. I just can never trust anyone who is right-wing, Hopey is a centrist and he ran as such, but to think of not fighting to prevent the likes of Romney, Cain or Perry from winning the election seems insane to me.

    2. Callyson

      Hell to the no. I have my issues with Obama but there is no way I would vote for any of the freaks running against him.

    3. Chet Kincaid

      Oh Lizzie, it's a silly state of affairs when you have to ask about certain Wonkette threads as if seeking a report on an expedition to Breitbartland. But I am a lot happier since deciding to just drop my bombs and fly away from shit-storm posts.

      1. SorosBot

        Nah, it's more the Firedoglake-ian "Obama didn't give me that pony I imagined he'd promised me, so therefore I'm gonna vote for the Republican in 2012 out of spite. Also the President can pass any laws he wants to and Congress doesn't matter."

    4. fuflans

      as i said earlier, two words 'supreme court'.

      a perry nomination would make the current roberts court seem like the warren court.

  7. El Pinche

    Perry should have put on his Marlboro man costume. Next to eating raw cookie dough, a dumb cowboy is Cavuto's favorite thing.

  8. SexySmurf

    Rick Perry is a dope-smoking, trust fund baby who hasn't showered in a month and is jealous of those more successful than himself? Sounds about right.

  9. Lucidamente1

    Proving once agan that two people who don't know what they're talking about know less than one person who doesn't.

  10. MrFizzy

    Let's see….close proximity to wall street greed, unwiped ass, incoherent message, fast food crumbs on shirt. Yup, just like the Occupiers.

  11. Schmannnity

    Governor, don't you know all bailouts are not created equal? Bank bailouts are good, but auto bailouts are bad because auto companies employ only union goons. Individual bailouts? Not created at all.

  12. Native_of_SL_UT

    I'm sure they'll clear this up for by telling us some button jockey in the booth cut Rick off when they went to the video of the OWS protesters.
    Please do not pay any attention to how quickly they popped up that video after Neil's comment. It's not like it was planned or something.

  13. prommie

    Perry knew what to do with those treasonous quantitative easers (drag them behind a truck, Texas-style) but didn't know how to respond to an accusation that he's a dirty smelly commie hippie? Not Ready For Prime Time, this Perry.

    1. Biel_ze_Bubba

      Yep … Perrybot's brain just blue-screened with that unexpected input. "Fatal error at 0x323fc: softball expected."

  14. smitallica

    Perry is nothing like those Occupy Wall Streeters, as there are far too many of them to fit into the closet.

  15. Preacher_Griz

    This could be a sign that those Fair and Balanced Fox fellows are incohoots with truck stop Pizza Mogul Herman Cain.

    Which means the Extrasolar Alien Impregnation Conspiracy is much more advanced than we first thought!


  16. PuckStopsHere

    RIck Perry thinks the entire OWS crowd should BE PUT TO DEATH and he should have come right out and said so. The host would have applauded, I'm sure.

  17. fartknocker

    Better watch yourself Niel Cockvuto – you're about to feel the wrath of Anita Perry. She's about to get all Jesusy on your ass. She Texas's form of the Church Lady from Saturday Night Live.

  18. SoBeach

    Geeze, that guy can't spit out a single, coherent sentence. But he knows exactly what this country needs to get us all back to work and shopping: tax cuts for the rich.

    1. chicken_thief

      And, if you happens to be a Governor, plenty of Federal funding for jerbs in your state. Denying all the while, of course, that the government has the ability to create jerbs.

  19. Oblios_Cap

    Rick wasn't speechless; he was just munching on some of Neil's juicy sausage when the question was being asked.

    Every Texan knows that it isn't polite to speak when your mouth is kinda-sorta full.

    1. fuflans

      right? what the hell misunderstood briefing bit was buzzing around in his brain? the marshall plan?

  20. Callyson

    Yeah, Perry sounds just like OWS. Because the protesters are focused on the need to get a return on capital.
    Christ, FOX can't get anything right…

  21. SorosBot

    Hell, who know how much he could have accomplished from 2009-2010 if we didn't have the fucking filibuster.

    1. Limeylizzie

      They need to get rid of that, the Electoral College and then there might be a smidgen of democracy.

      1. nounverb911

        I once spent several hours on a train trying to explain the electoral college to some New Zealanders, their heads exploded.

      2. SorosBot

        The Senate is anti-democracy enough as it is without the GOP's reflexive filibuster of everything since 2007; we should either get rid of it or turn it into a House of Lords style debate club without actual power, but since like eliminating the Electoral College it would take a Constitutional Amendment to change it doesn't seem likely.

        But hey, it's a very important principal that Wyoming's 500,000 people and California's 37,2000,000 get the same representation in one chamber of Congress.

        1. Chet Kincaid

          I continue to believe that the best course is not to fantasize about changing the Constitution, but for the Left to behave as though we are in a parliamentary system even though we're not. That means Democrats need to hold their fucking noses and start campaigning permanently, with a view toward 3 Congressional elections out. If a President cannot get his agenda enacted without "control" of Congress, we should be all about getting and keeping "control" of Congress.

          I am not as smart as I type, so the fact that I don't see any of the Great Minds in national Democratic politics having this light-bulb go on over their heads makes me pretty fucking angry. The time to start this effort was immediately after the 2010 midterms. Instead, everyone seems to have given up and started whining and crying like a bunch of pussies and children.

    2. Negropolis

      They don't need to get rid of the filibuster, in general. But, filibustering of the debate needs to be gotten rid of. You really can't even bring anything up for debate sans 60 votes, anymore.

  22. prommie

    Whats this fucking "raised eyebrows while squinting" facial expression? Is that a Texas thing, too? W Bush used to do that, too. Whats that, some kinda Texas expression kindly manliness? See, I raise my eyebrows and look sincere as some kind of snake-handling preacher, while I squint like Clint Eastwood asking some punk if he feels lucky? Or is it just the stupid?

  23. chascates

    Waiting for someone to tell him "You sound like one of those hypocritical, closeted bisexual corporate whores who hate America".

  24. SayItWithWookies

    That hit-by-a-skillet dumbfounded expression — it's probably the same one Mrs. Perry gets when she asks Rick about the child-size tighty whities she finds in the clothes hamper.

  25. meatlofer

    I so don't want to watch a World Series game in 2017 and see that Dumbfuck and his old hide sitting behind Home Plate.

  26. actor212

    Yes, if by "just like" he means "no resemblance whatsoever, right down to the starched collar in his anus"

  27. Generation[redacted]

    "You sound just like the Occupy Wall Street protestors" is now my go-to line to make any raving right wing nut job go instantly silent.

  28. smoothmineral

    Still praying this brickhead gets the nomination somehow. Seeing him attempt to debate President Obama would bring so much joy to my life.

  29. Indiepalin

    I would have thought that after having been linked with cattle multilations in the southwest, perpetual Dickhead of the Year, Neil Cavuto would have crawled back up his daddy's vagina by now.

  30. ttommyunger

    Neil is as irritatingly smug as O'Reilly, but the fact that he stores semen in his cheeks somehow makes me feel sorry for him.

  31. Negropolis

    Moron is moronic. Really, what can you say? These guys have drawn themselves so narrowly that they are bound to step all over themselves during any given day. You can't be as rigid as they are an not be a rank hypocrite.

    And, to think, this guy is the longest serving governor in the country, at the moment, and the longest serving governor and Texas history. What bothers me more than the fact that he's a Republican is that he has seemingly been rewarded his entire. fucking. life for displaying rank stupidity.

  32. Negropolis

    Is this kind of the conservative "so, when did you stop beating your wife" accusation-question? Or, the question that Craig Ferguson asks his guests, ironically, when he thinks that they aren't being stereotypically patriotic enough "So, how long have you been in Al Qaeda?"

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