Freedom fighter Darren Huff is a half-wit Georgia Militia birther goon in the news lately for being convicted of plotting a commando assault on the Monroe County courthouse in Tennessee, his mission being to punish a few lowly municipal employees for the sin of refusing to try to remove President Obama from office. He brought with him the usual violent nutjob accountrements such as an AK-47, a Colt .45 and several hundred rounds of ammunition, but according to the FBI’s “Returned Property” document detailing the items that were given back to Huff after his arrest, he also apparently needed his trusty remote-controlled pink dildo and his DVD of “Tranny Hunter” to help him fulfill his crusader mandate from Jeebus.
And yes, before you ask, Huff was also chaplain of the Georgia Militia, for extra scary self-loathing, gun-wielding, secret tranny-loving Jesus freaks-and-their-tears-of-rage bonus points. [TPM/Scribd via Wonkette operative "Ray S."]
{ 293 comments }
What, no wetsuit?
He did, however, have a wrench. Don't ask what that was for.
Duh, tightening his nuts. Trucknutz also.
Yes!
It IS Cocktober!
~
I had begun to wonder. Thank Dog that this patriot made such a noble sacrifice for us all.
Tranny hunter + pink dildo = Cocktober Surprise!
God i love Cocktober.
Awesome, I submitted this through the tips. Cocktober!!!
Remote-controlled dildos? No wonder why Americans are obese. if you can't walk across your mom's basement to fetch your rubber dork then you are just a lazy wanker.
Now Barb, you judge too harshly. Maybe they were referring to this.
Oh God, where does one go to buy something like that? Bed Bath and Behind? Sex Toys R Us?
Well, I have seen free rides offered on Craigs List. Seen. Not experienced.
"Bed Bath and Behind?"
Awww fuck! Coffee on my monitor AGAIN.
Sorry, my bad!
Santorum's favorite store.
Bed, Bath and Waaayyyyy Beyond.
I am afraid to click on that link.
it is NSFW, unless you work at GOP headquarters … anywhere.
I'm quite certain it would trigger my firing via the IT Big Brother brigade.
This is why you should get the IT boys to teach you how to remotely access your home computer from work. It's what they all do when they get NSFW links (or links to blocked sites) at work.
For reference for anyone afraid to click on the link, it's a half-cylinder that sits on the floor/bed, and has what is usually a little nub but in this case is more like a doorknob (attachments are modular). When activated, the nub/knob/whatever will vibrate at varying frequencies.
I'm sure you kids at work can figure out what to do with this.
Sounds like the time old Roy ran and jumped in the saddle but the horse moved.
As soon as you do, your boss will just happen to walk in and see the screen, while alarms will go off in the IT department.
I am the IT department.
I had the exact same thought, then I though of what a fun game that would be, you hand over control of the remote to your beloved /a friend// the dog and let the fun begin.
LL, I think the dog would need the owner to swab some peanut butter on the buttons.
Be back in a Jiff.
Peter Pans this idea.
That is actually the general idea, rather than straight-up laziness.
Yes, I should think so, I was quite lost in a reverie thinking of that, I would want one with a long-range remote, I was imaging just walking down the street and then…all of a sudden…
I dunno. Imagine his embarrassment when he finds the remote in the basement where he lives, pushes a button, and his mom screams from upstairs.
You have NO idea.
What if it's a Predator Dildo? Of course, one would probably need to walk to the closet where the Osama Bin Laden merkin is kept.
Ha Ha Ha! Thanks for the mental image of a dildo running across the basement floor! :-)
hahahah…or the chestburster scene from Alien
"The stockings were filled with bourbon and beer, and a big rubber dick for the family queer" (from "The Night Before Christmas": alternate Georgia version)
Breaking: PPP reports Huff 29%, Romney 25% in most recent poll.
republicans support his platform, citing only negative as "color of dildo"
But, as a white Christian, we can't call him a terrorist.
He was carrying weapons of ass destruction. I say he's a terrorist.
"Weapons of ass destruction" – you're on fire with this story.
That post just can't be topped… Remotely.
I'm perfectly okay with just calling him an redneck asshole.
You can, but only if you're willing to be called a treasonous bastard for it.
It doesn't matter what we call him since words are currently failing me.
May we call him "vice-presidential material"?
Georgia has a tranny hunting season,but the weapons are limited to pink dildos.
No blaze orange for safety?
The purpose of the orange is to distinguish non-targets (hunters) from targets (every other living thing) while sitting in a tree a couple miles outside of Bumblefuck, GA.
During tranny hunting season in the Georgian backwoods, no such distinction is necessary.
I've found something new to do this fall!
No bag limit.
This guy has to be messed up… he's from Dallas… the Georgia one.
Oh, that guy. When I saw the headline I thought you were talking about Ted Cat Scratch Fever.
Remote Control Dildo?
"Squeal like a pig, boy" Indeed.
So the GA militia has movie nights?
A fan of dildos, from Georgia…sounds like Herb Cain supporter.
Ann Coulter Libel, also.
Did you mean noted SF Examiner columnist Herb Caen, or "pizza executive" and faux presidential candidate Herman Cain?
All of 'em, Katie.
You know what? You are right – I should give this meme up. it's just not picking up as quickly as I thought it would.
I still use it, too. Slips right off the tongue, it does.
It's not Kristol libel?
Think that's a porno-parady of the Norwegian mockumentary Trollhunter?
AK-47 ???
did he think he's Russian?
Show your nationalizm, Moran !
I know. It gives me hours of laughter to see these real Mericuns toting around a Commie weapon like an AK-47.
Get a Colt AR-15, pussy.
Comes in pink to match the dildo:
http://blog.riflegear.com/archive/2007/12/26/hell…
What will his sentence be?
Heaven!
If only I had more upfists to give.
Huff would wish for more upfist too, I bet.
A run-on, I hope.
Well, his punctuation probably is dotted with colons.
"Bailiff, whack his peepee"
That deserves to be a meme on the order of "all of them, Katie." Let's see it again soon.
Let he who does not enjoy tranny porn, cast the first dildo?
What was he using for bait?
Free samples of Clinique products
A sprinkled trail of sequins?
Breitbart's phone number.
So, happiness really is a warm gun….
*clicks on TPM link*
HOLY SHIT. And yet, somehow, the pink dildo seems screamingly… erm… fitting.
Yeah, he's a Bear, right? Other than all that gun shit, he seems to fit the type.
You know what *other* violent right winger was a closeted ghey?
Ernst Rohm?
All of them?
Win
Yes, all of them, Katie.
Wayne LaPierre?
Not Red Skelton?
Charlton Heston?
Remote-control dildo? Whats with that? Does that mean he can't reach back there to operate it manually? Fucking dude is too lazy to fuck himself, if that don't beat all, to quote Major Kong.
And don't forget "Yeeeehaaaaawww!!!"
Shoot! A feller could have a pretty good time in Dallas (the original word, covered by "Vegas" after the JFK shooting) with all that!
A nut driver! And an impact wrench… this guy is hard core…
Two nut drivers! Kinky no?
Remote control dildo, an impact wrench, four condoms, and a tube of KY gel. I'm sorry, I can't quite wrap my brain around what that shopping list is for.
An overnight in prison.
Hey, now it all makes sense: he expected to get caught.
Everyone needs to look at the picture of this guy at TPM and CBS – classic redneck teabaggers; he's got a long scraggly grey goatee and a pickup truck with "DON'T TREAD ON ME" with the image of a snarling snake on the side.
Worse, google "tranny hunter," first hit, and meet his twin bruh.
(. . . ahem . . . props to a TPM commenter)
Is it a snarling trouser snake? Heavens to Betsy!
Somehow I suspect the back has TruckNutz too.
And the other side says, "Batries don't fail me now!"
Wow. Honestly, I was not expecting a snake that large.
That's what HE said. To his tranny blind date.
Snakes can't make faces. But at least a patriotic one can snarl.
How the fuck does a dildo have a remote? And before ANY of you send me a link DON'T. I'd rather not know!
A real patriot would be a job-creator and hire a RentBoy for this type of work instead of a Chinese(?) battery.
Well in this case it looks like he'd rather hire a RentLadyBoy.
The best part about this is that absolutely none of it is surprising. Not the stupid, violent plan, not the guns, not the ammo, not even the tranny porn and the dildo.
I can't wait til for the militia court to prove that even in the face of overwhelming evidence, that the government planted those humiliating devices just to discredit their own.
Surprising = wtf only a 5 yr sentence. Which means what? 2.8 yrs or HEAVEN in a Federal Pound you in the Ass prison?
Yeah, I just kind of assume anytime a violent Tea Party freak or religious nut gets busted they are sitting on a stash of weird – and potentially illegal – niche porn.
Odd how a lot of the guys with subscriptions to Soldier of Fortune also have a subscription to Chicks with Dicks.
Not surprising as Soldier of Fortune is to War as Letters to Penthouse is to Sex.
Big gun = big dick = deliriously delightful buttßechs.
Oh, I always thought big guns fell in the overcompensating camp. But, it appears that this guy prefers catching, anyway.
BTW, love your new name, V
Thanks! I get tired of looking each avatar after a while so try to keep them current. This one almost makes me feel as if I’m doing something to help, besides sending supportive thoughts.
You can't make this shit up. Reality is always stranger than fiction.The stories just write themselves Cocktober and Jesusween. a winning combo.
But Huff paid his taxes, unlike Cain and Capone.
Pink dildos with remotes are way over rated – when my neighbor opens his garage door my nightstand starts vibrating. Such a waste of batteries.
So what you need instead of a remote-control dildo is the remote-control for the garage.
Hmm … how often does your neighbor watch in confusion, as his garage door goes up and down for no apparent reason?
"I still jerk-off manually"
-The Dude-
A remote, really? I mean, really? I guess you always have to make sure you are stocked up with batteries at Huff's house.
The pink dildo goes so well with his Confederate Flag spooge rag.
A chaplain, huh? So Huff is a "man of the cloth". Good cloth, no doubt, with decent thread count in some nice pastels to match that pink dildo.
Man of the cloth, eh? So, that's what they are calling the Klan, now…
"Tranny Hunter"? Is that like "Bitch Hunter"? Because I love that show.
In the Battle of Backdoor Sharia what better weapons than an AK-47 and a remote controlled dildo?
Pink dildos really *pop* against a white robe.
"The decision came after the jury announced last night that it was hung."
That explains the whole invasion of the Courthouse plan.
So, he didn't really need his dildo back, now did he?
You know, my underpants jury is hung, too. Hung like a horse.
On an entirely different note, you gotta love the sense of humor of the cops who listed, in such delicious detail, the items being returned to Huff (and Puff on cock). Big thumbs to the clerk!
He prefers to call them "Predator Bones."
I am so proud of Karma today. Keep it up you cosmic comic force for good!!!
Little mix-up there; actually, it was a Makita impact dildo with remote. Get your freak on, girl.
She's so tough, she uses a Black & Decker vibrator.
Hooked up to a 2.5-hp Briggs & Stratton lawnmower engine.
Black & Pecker
Crack & Pecker.
John Deere diesel or go Homo.
B&D is for pussies. DeWalt has the 18-volt model.
Obviously it was the porn that made him violent (thank you, Roberts court!).
I didn't know that Pat Buchanan was remote controlled.
God, I remember my first tranny hunt, coming (and coming!) back to the truck with pa and the boys, our shirts smudged with mascara and our pink dildos slung over our shoulders. We drove home with the freshly-killed trannies strapped to the hood, their wigs flapping in the breeze and their falsies akimbo. We sang songs about automatic weaponry and the naturalization process for U.S. citizenry. Later that night, "Uncle" Rick sodomized me behind the porn shed.
*sniff*
Those were the salad days, y'know?
That is pant-wetting funny. Trust me.
That's EXACTLY what "Uncle" Rick said!
This would make a great Lifetime movie. Of course banjos for the soundtrack and maybe they could cast Justin Beiber as your character. My first thought was Brad Pitt but he's too old.
"My first thought was Brad Pitt but he's too old."
Well, CGI has advanced to the that we can make him look younger…again.
All halcyon and santorum back then.
Salad-tossing days, if you please.
Sounds like the Bizarro version of Priscilla: Queen of the Desert
I wonder, was it a wired or wireless remote?
bluetooth? there's a joke in there somewhere…
Well, if it is like my wireless connection. It is up and down. Up and down.
Fucker's a Georgia redneck – "No-tooth" is the operative phrase
First, Obama came for our dildos, and we said nothing….
Maybe he thought it was trainee hunters and he was looking for recruits and the dildo was a signing bonus
"Tranny Hunter" ???
What the fuck does that even MEAN???
We could give him the benefit of the doubt that he needed a transmission for his hate mobile and "Tranny Hunter" is a trade mag similar to "Auto Parts and Stuff".
Aw hell, he deserves no benefit of the doubt.
Like that paper I thought said "actor pull"…
If you do it right, the trannies will do the hunting. Though you can lure them to your closet with a GOP membership card, or "Adam & Eve, not Adam & Steve" bumper sticker.
OT, but I just came across the scariest photo ever of Newt's trinket twat.
http://talkingpointsmemo.com/gallery/2011/01/meet…
Sweet Jesus…were the two of them playing with Ouija board and Lizzie Borden took control of Mrs. Newt's soul?
(I kid…Mrs. Newt doesn't have a soul. Lizzie must have taken over the Combat Information Center)
Jesus she looks like a cross between LimeCat and a shark.
I would've said Martha Stewart after being given a Drano colonic.
Eww. No wonder Gnut had to buy her the diamonds. She has a smile that's eerily reminiscent of Jack Nicholson in The Shining
She looks even more like Jack Nicholson in Batman.
Behold the power of botox and amphetamines.
Christ on a bike. Thanks for the impending nightmares, Baldar. Admittedly, I should have known better than to click…personal responsibility, blah, blah.
Needz moar Tiffany's baubles.
That's her Tiffany's O-face afterglow.
No, Baldar, I think that's the Count from Sesame St.
I mean, what a schnozzola!
Even scarier when she gets horny.
Princess Sparkle Pony FTW!
No, Newt's face is way creepier. Calista just looks like a homicidal freak. Newt looks like he's blowing his load.
Obvs you didn't click through to pic #18 in the gallery. Scarier still.
Photo #1 was all I could handle. I'll go back later…
Just saw #18. OMIGOD – It's Martian Spy Girl:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XDAaTzccCik
Sweet tears of baby Jesus – you don't usually see people holding a giant axe with their eyes conveying an orgasmic sense of discovery: "Ahhhh! At last I sense my destiny!". Sort of like the look you see in Jack Nicholson's eyes in the Shining when he knocks back his first drink after "five miserable months on the wagon."
I dare say we haven't had the last of giant-chopping-tool related stories relating to wife III.
Newt has that satisfied look of someone who's just humped a giant ax.
Newt must have more of a thing for the crazy ones than I apparently do.
Bitch looks like a busted, bootleg geisha on crack.
I didn't see this one coming, though obviously there's no excuse not to have.
The Georgia Militia are just the most awesome ball of fail ever. They got busted in 1996, before the Olympics, for stockpiling pipe bombs. They claimed they needed them for self defense, and they got off on a lesser charge because it turned out that was actually why they had made them.
I'm in the Navy Reserve, and if I ever run into an Oathkeeper who's still in the military, I'm gonna kick him square in the nuts.
I live a sedate life, someone help me out here . . . why does one need a remote control on a dildo?
I'm glad you asked. I didn't want to be the one sound stupid.
Now you have comrad_darkness to carry the stupid burden for you!
It's used to remove non-white presidents from office. You put the RCD in the middle of the road. The target POTUS runs up and stops abruptly with a vibrato sound. At that moment, the dildo is activated by remote control though inevitably nothing happens. The POTUS runs away, explaining "beep, beep". The wily RCD operator then tries to figure out what went wrong by shaking, jumping and — eventually — inserting the RCD. At that point it starts working vigorously. "Uh oh … oh …. oh …. OH MY GOD!" he cries out, using traditional sign-on-a-stick technique.
That's my understanding, not that I would actually know from first hand experience.
This could only be better with an anvil or a cliff included.
If you read the fine print, it says, "Warning: Not effective on road runners."
I see that everyone else on here also leads a sedate life, despite previous impressions to the contrary.
Sadly, I am in the same boat as you, and my only information on what "straight" men do with sex toys comes from the legal documents concerning the sexual harassment lawsuit one of Bill O'Reilly's employees brought against him.
That being said, my guess would be that the remote control would allow him to change the vibration settings on the dildo while it's inserted.
That was my guess… the ladies have easier access to the device in situ.
I wondered more about his choice of color. I mean, I can understand his not getting the big black one … but pink?
Bank of America should give pink dildos out to new checking account customers. It's more personal than a toaster.
Good idea … anybody opening a new checking account with Bank of America IS a dildo.
Obviously, you don't know what these men do with toasters, then….
It would be sort of a truth-in-advertising thing, considering that they're gonna fuck you eventually.
Another uplifting story of a Real American® who wants to live the Sarah Palin™ lifestyle.
But you left out the other items returned to Chaplain Huff: KY gel, condoms and … of course, a nut driver.
Why can't I meet open-minded girls like Mr Huff?
Jobs' last creation: the iDildo — this time bigger is better.
When told last night the jury was hung, Huff asked if he could look under the jury's skirt.
They also held his MasterCard. The ad writes itself:
KY Gel : $5
Condoms : $10
Remote control dildo : $50
Having your fetish published on wonkette : priceless
Dildo with remote? Now that's just being lazy.
Just trying to get into prison where he can be a hot prison tranny bitch. Or a chick with a dick.
If he had a dildo and porn, what was he going to do with the Makita impact wrench, ferchrissake?
Dildo plus Makita is a promising combo. I'm guessing he found plans on the internet.
Good Lord!!!! You left off the "4 condoms" and the "KY lube" later on in the report. He's not just stupid, he's optimistic!
The decision came after the jury announced last night that it was hung.
It must have been an all-male jury.
Do you need a concealed-carry permit for those dildos, or is Georgia an "open-carry" state?
Does the dildo have an iCloud feature, where friends can log on and operate it from any web browser?
Can one hate-f__k in the cloud?
Tranuary is arriving early this year!
"Tranuary" *wild applause*
I agree. I did the coffee vs. monitor thing.
If you're a regular visitor, you should probably invest in a coffee-proof keyboard.
I think the pink dildo is an offensive weapon, unlike the punishing dildo mallet, which is clearly defensive.
GIVE ME THAT PINK DILDO YOU WARTHOG FROM HELL!!
CRY HAVOC, AND LET SLIP THE DILDOS OF WAR
Did he use the Makita impact wrench to screw in the dildo?
What was he gonna do, detonate the dildo by remote control, and put the gun up his ass?
The roadside IAD (Intra-Anal Device)
Reading through all yourr comments has left me exhausted.
Think I'll have a cigarette, now.
TENNESSEE TENNESSEE TENNESSEE
God dammit, home state! You're getting way too much press on my beloved Wonkette. Everyone here is going to hate us eventually. If it ain't meth, it's racist email or mentally-challenged gubernatorial candidates.
No no, Chicken. Crazed birther fuckhole is from Georgia. He only tried to blow shit up in Tennessee. We're safe for the time being, and… oh, wait.*
*Link is SFW, you fraidy-cats!
That's because Tennessee went all sharia on us.
If we had real freedom in this country, you could cook your raccoon in a parking lot without having the government sticking its nose in your meth lab.
I think Georgia and Tennessee are still trailing behind Florida, Texas, and Arizona for top awards is asshole behavior. But just for the sheer crazee, ya got 'em whooped.
Ahahahahahahahahahahahaha! I got nothin else.
My name is Neilist, and I approve of this message.
Neilist
Campaign Manager
Neilist For President Campaign
"A Pink Remote Controlled Dildo In Every Hand, And A Colt Model 1911A1 In Every Ass!"
. . . no, wait a minute . . . .
What gauge is that dido anyway?
Let me tell you something, pendejo. You pull any your crazy shit with us, you flash your pink dildo out on the lanes, I'll take it away from you and stick it up your ass and flip the power switch until the batteries go "click".
And guilty of bad taste. Tranny Hunter from #17 thereon (when they got a new director) are the only ones worth watching in the series.
I do hope when it goes HD they remaster the special FX too.
I saw this truly awesome truck at a gun show about 2 months ago. I was so taken aback by it's patriotic glory I had to snap a photo because nobody would believe me. http://static.inky.ws/image/759/image.jpg
Sure enough he was running some booth at the front selling shirts with those logos and pamphlets about some craziness.
I wish I had known I was in the presence of greatness!
Well, it's a step up from plastering the fucking thing with hate-Obama-stickers.
Is that a giant banana in the bed?
That's one of his two nut drivers.
No, it's a giant Gadsen Don't Tread On Me flag, naturally.
That's gotta kill the gas mileage with that shit flapping in the wind.
I never understood why Gadsen flags were supposed to be so intimidating. Maybe all the rattlesnakes I have killed with very little effort puts me in the wrong demographic.
You can have my pink remote-controlled dildo when you pry it from my cold, dead…sphincter?
well. this should make his prison term more interesting.
Now there's a good shot of the old time stuff! Nothing says "terrorism" like a pink, remote controlled dildo!
(1) DVD containing pornographic…
(1) pink dildo with…
(1) makita impact wrench…
(2) nut drives
(4) condoms
(1) bottle of KY…
(1) MasterCard
gives new meaning to the question 'what has it got in its pocketses?'
I never gave it much thought, but they really weren't kidding:
"For everything else, there's MasterCard."
What? I can't believe this. This story is over an hour old and didn't see one Chaz Bono comment.
"To the last, I grapple with thee; With my pink dildo, I stab at thee; For hate's sake, I spit Santorum at thee”
TRANN!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I can't speak for anyone else, but you have won the day for me.
8130.4?
In his trial last week, Huff teared up on the stand: “It’s hard to get employment when you’re under federal indictment. I refuse to be intimidated. All I can do is still have a voice.'
oh huff honey, you may want to save those tears. things just got a whole lot worse.
Now that I think of it,
Headline and story could have been:
Man from DALLAS, GEORGIA….
Anybody seeing that knows that something pretty fucked up just happened.
How would have Steve Irwin died in Tranny Hunter?
definitely gives birthers a bad rap. where do you guys/gals/??? come up with this stuff? Very entertaining. Love the comments as well.
You people are being too dismissive of the guy.
If you look at the full list, it includes an impact wrench, nut driver, condoms, KY jelly and a MasterCard. Why, a man could rule the WORLD with such things!!
"Or have a nice weekend in Vegas."
Putin might agree with you.
Tranny Porn.
Does anybody know on Blingee where I can find the RC pink dildos and Tranny porn???
When pink remote-controlled dildos are outlawed, only outlaws will have pink remote-controlled dildos.
This goes here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZUqmMuqGo3o
I keep picturing this guy getting mad over the description of the dildo as "pink" when he actually viewed it as "flesh colored." Because a pink dildo would make him look gay.
Nothing unusual here. Dildos and tranny porn are standard issue for all Georgia Militia members.
I know what you're thinking, punk. Did he insert five AAs, or six? Considering this is a Mangun 45, the most powerful dildo in the world, powerful enough to take your head clean off, you need to be asking yourself one question. Do I feel lucky?
In his trial last week, Huff teared up on the stand when he said: “my government has called me a potential domestic terrorist.”
“It’s hard to get employment when you’re under federal indictment,” Huff also said. “I refuse to be intimidated. All I can do is still have a voice.”
Butch, get over yourself. At a time when real veterans can't get a job, decent people are losing their houses thanks to the shenanigans of the banks, and our future looks bleaker every day, unemployment should be the least of your problems.
Jerk.
If a commando raid on a county courthouse is an acceptable way to "have a voice" someone needs to explain that to the Oakland Police Department.
Does Tranny Hunter mean "I'm going out with a gun to hunt trannies", or "I am looking for a trannie to share a shower with"?
Craigslist ad: "Wanted, used 4-speed manual for 1993 Ford F-150."
That's it, right? I mean, in rural Georgia, that's gotta be it, right?
Maybe it's time for a great big freaky 'love-in' at one of these occupy events. Maybe if we help them all stop feeling all weird about orgasms & general feelings of sexiness – maybe they'll relax a little & stop trying to sublimate all their naughty urges by engaging in violence & douchebaggery.
The comments at The Blaze are the usual melange of cognitive dissonance. Several want to write the guy letters of support, while others are gearing up to exercise their 2nd Amendment Solutions.
In response to one brave soul who suggested that birthers stop beating a dead horse, this:
And we have a right to kick the coon out, and kick you out too. Commie creep
Oh, and they also think the filthy hippies of OWS should be shot.
The Georgia Militia's emblem is an soaring eagle clutching a pink dildo in one claw and in the other, a copy of Nailin' Palin, the best movie ever made, except that it's about doing it to a woman. Rosebud.
This reminds me of that terrist group back in the 70's….the Sybian Liberation Army.
"One credit card receipt for Swedish-made penis enlarger signed by Austin Powers."
"I'm telling ya baby, that's not mine."
Thank God someone bought that video. Mamma needs her royalty check.
But who is going to feed the gimp while Huff is in stir?
Second Amendment remedies and pink dildos is the name of the Dixie Chicks first album.
So, was he going to kill the employees, then cross dress them, then watch the video and have sexy time with the pink dildo, with KY to help him have sexy time with the rigamortized bodies?
And WTF is a "nut driver"? Oh wait…..
I'm sorry, but if he really thinks he can make up for all of his bad acts with a dildo and a tranny-porn video, I say too little, too late!
The remote is a nice touch.
Don't Tread on Me With Your Enormous Pink Dildo
needz moar duck costume
To put these events in perpective, it is not unusual for law enforcement to mix up the personal effects of a demented Davy Crockett wanna-be with those of the husband of a major presidential candidate.
Plus, have you SEEN this asshat? He obviously hasn't seen his dick in twenty years and you KNOW he can't reach his own asshole. This fat fuck should be the Tea Party Poster Boy.
Well, goddamn it. Thread is old news, and here it is 9:00 at night MDT, but I'm gonna say it anyway:
Shoot, a fella' could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with all that stuff.
That's a couple tiers of mortification above finding your parents' stash of condoms or your dad's old nudie mags, yes.
You'll have to yell at yourself, then.
Oh crap! *hides*
now THAT is a fucking awesome WIN! (now how do I make sure my IT dept isn't tracking my Wonkette/ porn surfing?)
Exactly, only this time, the horse kept moving, and moving and moving and oh my god
Trigger!!
Let's stuff Trigger.
Then I just committed man slaughter into my gym sock.
Smaller government for the win.
I'm sure the county coroners will love having every miscarriage in the state added to their to-do lists.
A gearhead friend of mine was driving home from Colorado when his car broke down, and I got a furious message: "I BLEW A TRANNY IN RATON!". Now, Raton, NM is about 20 miles from Trinidad, CO, the "Sex-Change Operation Capitol of the World". I advised him to revise his gearhead slang.
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