RUNNIN SCARED  7:06 pm October 25, 2011

Right-Wing Extremist Pat Robertson Calls For Less Extremism In GOP

by Kirsten Boyd Johnson

It does not require major political math to figure out that the stark raving lunacy of the GOP base is bound to eventually backfire in a presidential election when American voters are faced with a choice between even a Barack Obama they are extremely “meh” about and some hollering Republican promising to personally bludgeon uninsured workers to death, but this very basic calculation appears to now be filtering down to even dank gutter rats like Pat Robertson, who has belatedly figured out that his lifetime of hateful crowing may in fact be alienating to mass quantities of ordinary voters.

From the video, via Right Wing Watch:

I believe it was Lyndon Johnson that said, ‘Don’t these people realize if they push me over to an extreme position I’ll lose the election? And I’m the one who will be supporting what they want but they’re going to make it so I can’t win.’ Those people in the Republican primary have got to lay off of this stuff. They’re forcing their leaders, the frontrunners, into positions that will mean they lose the general election. Now whether this did it to Cain I don’t know, but nevertheless, you appeal to the narrow base and they’ll applaud the daylights out of what you’re saying and then you hit the general election and they say ‘no way’ and then the Democrat, whoever it is, is going to just play these statements to the hilt. They’ve got to stop this! It’s just so counterproductive!

Eh, probably it’s because the Black Guy is leading the current GOP field, which is against Jesus and racism, but whatever, sure, Pat Robertson. [Right Wing Watch]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 201 comments }

poncho_pilot October 25, 2011 at 7:10 pm

this is the game for losers. lol. first thing i've ever heard him say that i agree with.

CommieLibunatic October 25, 2011 at 7:31 pm

Same here, it's kinda scary.

No really, hold me. I'm scared.

poncho_pilot October 25, 2011 at 7:39 pm

Same here, it's kinda scary.

probability was not on our side.

No really, hold me. I'm scared.

i'm so poor i can't afford arms. bungee cords?

NYNYNYjr October 25, 2011 at 9:03 pm

The Game for Losers: needs more dragons and breasts. Going back to sleep.

poncho_pilot October 26, 2011 at 1:47 pm

what about dragons with breasts?

Callyson October 26, 2011 at 1:39 am

Well, there's a difference between agree with a viewpoint and wanting to change the behavior of others as a result of that agreement. I technically agree with Pat Robertson for once, but that doesn't mean I want the Reeps actually to take his good advice, and thus have a chance of winning next year…

poncho_pilot October 26, 2011 at 7:06 am

well, of course i don't want them to take his advice. i don't think they will, either. i think they'll write him off and keep going on about ponzi schemes, electric fences, and keep trying to rewrite history to make the lunacy contingent happy.

OC_Surf_Serf_#OLA October 25, 2011 at 7:10 pm

This loon calling you out is like Gingrich accusing another Republican candidate of spending too much at Tiffany's…

Sue4466 October 25, 2011 at 7:11 pm

I refuse to say I agree with Pat Robertson. But he does have a point. Though honestly, the GOP went past midnight on the crazy clock a long time ago.

HogeyeGrex October 25, 2011 at 7:55 pm


the GOP went past midnight on the crazy clock a long time ago.

Largely because of this festering hate-carbuncle and his ilk screaming 24-7 that God wants you to be a dick.

And Lady Irony twitched one final time before expiring.

Sue4466 October 25, 2011 at 7:59 pm

Funny that Pat left out his credit, eh?

user-of-owls October 25, 2011 at 7:11 pm

I feel the Pat Robertson is now under Shariah law.

Limeylizzie October 25, 2011 at 8:21 pm

Nice one, darling.

Barb October 25, 2011 at 7:11 pm

Needs moar separation of church and state.

BaldarTFlagass October 25, 2011 at 7:11 pm

Reap what you sow, Pat, reap what you sow.

DrunkIrishman October 25, 2011 at 7:12 pm

This just in: Tony Soprano calls for a kinder, gentler mafia.

jus_wonderin October 26, 2011 at 10:09 am

Update: Hitler seeks conservation of gas consumption.

NorthStarSpanx October 26, 2011 at 1:46 pm

Check that, we need more modernity to relate to. Sarah Palin seeks conservation of gas consumption. She'll sacrifice her love of smelling emissions in the morning.

JustPixelz October 25, 2011 at 7:12 pm

Now that kids are dressing up as scary Repubican candidates for Jesusween, Pat Robertson is scared.

OC_Surf_Serf_#OLA October 25, 2011 at 7:12 pm

They’ve got to stop this! It’s just so counterproductive

Unfortunately he doesn't mean for all of America, he just means to get elected…

Sue4466 October 25, 2011 at 8:00 pm

Good point, because from Obama's point of view, this shit is fantabulous. Carry on GOP.

Beowoof October 25, 2011 at 11:56 pm

I couldn't agree more let the freak show continue.

emmelemm October 25, 2011 at 8:02 pm

Yes, I saw this pointed out elsewhere: He's not saying the GOP shouldn't be this crazy, he's saying they should still be doing a better job of hiding it, at least until after election results are in.

BlueStateLibel October 25, 2011 at 8:11 pm

Yeah, it's like some con wrote, I forget who or where, about how first you have to convince them to elect you and THEN you tell them you're taking away their Social Security, not vice-versa.

memzilla October 25, 2011 at 7:12 pm

Shorter version: "STFU, Rethuglican nominee!"

JoshuaNorton October 25, 2011 at 7:13 pm

Needs moar Spanish Inquisition.

richmx2 October 25, 2011 at 7:25 pm

Nobody expected that! Besides, the Inquisition would have burned Pat as a heretic.

Come here a minute October 25, 2011 at 7:13 pm

Robertson 2012!

This time he's a moderate!

weejee October 25, 2011 at 7:24 pm

Robertson a moderate??????

sweet baby jeebus…

/ staggers off to leap from the parapet once again

Chichikovovich October 25, 2011 at 7:51 pm

When I first moved to the 'States in 1984 (Reagan versus Mondale) I was staggered to hear Barry Goldwater described by talking heads as a "moderate" after his speech to the Republican Convention. Now by Republican standards Pat Robertson is a moderate and Goldwater is a raving liberal. A scary progression, to be sure, but at least it gives me a tipping point. When, in another 25 years, Michele Bachmann is described as a "Republican moderate" (without having changed positions in the least), the wise man will say to me "Now grasshopper, it is time for you to leave."

Occupy V572 October 25, 2011 at 8:00 pm

You don't even want to know who signed the EPA into existence.

Dok-cupy Everything October 25, 2011 at 9:02 pm
Occupy V572 October 26, 2011 at 12:27 am

Dude looks like a freakin' Green Party advocate in retrospect. And no one hates Nixon more than I do.

Callyson October 26, 2011 at 1:42 am

Tricky Dick looks like a fucking gem compared to today's clowns.
I said that to my baby boomer mom once and she nearly had an aneurysm.
If she were with us today, I dare say she would agree…

Negropolis October 26, 2011 at 2:10 am

I kind of hate how how ideologies and parties are laid out in America. Barry Goldwater was a liberal in what it would mean in most other parts of the world. In most other parts of the world, "liberal" using means someone's who believe in free markets (which also means they are usually for starving government of money, or at least in comparison to others) and free self-expression.

In America, this type of historic liberalism actually exists across both parties. Our parties tend to rope in a lot of ideologies that wouldn't be allies in other countries. The Republicans are basically a cross between a Christian Democratic party and a Liberal Party (increasingly only on the economy), though more socially conservative than their counterparts in Europe, generally. The Democrats seem to be a cross between a Labour Party and a Liberal Party. If America has a centralized liberal party, you could split the nation's voters into almost equal thirds.

Negropolis October 25, 2011 at 9:26 pm

Is it possible to moderately stone someone to death?

BaldarTFlagass October 25, 2011 at 7:14 pm

Spew out hate, people become hateful. How do you explain that?

thebeatgoeson October 25, 2011 at 10:17 pm

Hate goes out, Hatefulness goes up, never a miscommunication. You can't explain that.

HogeyeGrex October 25, 2011 at 11:03 pm

How do you explain that?

I'll take "It's all the Liberals' fault" for $1000, Alex.

Callyson October 26, 2011 at 1:43 am

And you win the Daily Double!

dennis1943 October 25, 2011 at 7:15 pm

Robertson calling for sanity……….now that's insane…………..

PoopFilledSquadCar October 25, 2011 at 7:15 pm

700 Club: Pat's not only the president, he's also a loser.

HogeyeGrex October 25, 2011 at 11:05 pm

The first rule of 700 Club…

user-of-owls October 25, 2011 at 7:16 pm

Tonight on Hannity:

Pat Robertson linked to militant Marxist OWS mob? You decide!

weejee October 25, 2011 at 7:25 pm

Thank you making that post after the morning coffee. It woulda gone right up the ol' nose.

Limeylizzie October 25, 2011 at 8:21 pm

Are you drinking, you are killing me tonight.

user-of-owls October 25, 2011 at 10:12 pm

No booze (Day 86 now…yay!), just in the groove baby.

starfanglednut October 25, 2011 at 10:19 pm

Congrats on your 86 days.

user-of-owls October 25, 2011 at 10:32 pm

Tanks!

Beowoof October 26, 2011 at 12:01 am

Congrats, but watching the horse shit that is America today I couldn't give up that which helps me sleep.Or pass out depending upon your perspective.

user-of-owls October 26, 2011 at 12:32 am

That's why I am titling my next book:

Contemporary American Politics: A Reason to Take Strong Drink.

Callyson October 26, 2011 at 1:45 am

Many congrats on being able to get off the sauce in this political environment. I'm highly impressed (especially since I sure as hell can''t accomplish the same.)

user-of-owls October 26, 2011 at 3:47 am

Thanks! But I'm not alone…I have a well-loved Wonkette commenterator who's been walking the same road I have since shortly before I started, which is wicked pissah actually!

Limeylizzie October 26, 2011 at 7:12 am

Good for you, MrLimeylizzie is 30 years sober, after nearly bankrupting a movie studio while drinking, he got a clue!

Blueb4sunrise October 25, 2011 at 7:16 pm

Tits or GTFO!

Beowoof October 26, 2011 at 12:01 am

Well Pat is a big boob, so your request appears to be met.

Toomush_Infer October 26, 2011 at 11:13 am

Pretty sure Pat has 'em, but I think you're supposed to call them "dugs"…'…

TitsAkimbo October 25, 2011 at 7:17 pm

Ima still change the channel when he pops up on my TeeVee screen.

FritzBrogan October 25, 2011 at 7:17 pm

This is just Pat's selfish griping because HE wanted to be THE extremist in the GOP. He was loony before it was cool and he hates all of these upstart posers biting his shit. All he wants is one more platinum rat dick and after that, fuck CPAC, you can have it back.

Crank_Tango October 25, 2011 at 7:36 pm

pat robertson's hatecycle is a fixie.

HogeyeGrex October 25, 2011 at 7:58 pm

One speed and no brakes?

This bit of backpedaling is pretty impressive, though.

littlebigdaddy October 25, 2011 at 7:19 pm

This is all perfectly explainable by the fact that God hates fags.

Negropolis October 25, 2011 at 9:29 pm

Ciggarettes are, indeed, a sin.

littlebigdaddy October 25, 2011 at 9:38 pm

And small pieces of firewood.

UW8316154 October 25, 2011 at 11:38 pm

Or rather, moral weakness.

Schmannnity October 25, 2011 at 7:19 pm

Robertson appeals to the moderate middle of the Republican Party? Unfortunately, Chuck Percy died last month and the other three are out of town.

Occupy V572 October 25, 2011 at 8:00 pm

Don't forget Nelson "Attica" Rockefeller!

Chichikovovich October 25, 2011 at 8:08 pm

Rockefeller is gone, but what a way to go!

BerkeleyBear October 25, 2011 at 8:06 pm

We could zombie up Percy and Mark Hatfield – they aren't too decayed yet, right?

I'm just waiting to see if Dick Lugar has to go full right wingnut to win his primary. That will mean the (political) death of the last guy I know of in the Senate who can still actually work with Dems on anything and mean it. Granted, what he cares about has fuck all to do with the economy (loose nukes) but still . . .

RadioOcupados October 25, 2011 at 7:22 pm

Hey Kirsten, it's Reverend Doctor dank gutter rat to you.

user-of-owls October 25, 2011 at 7:23 pm

Tomorrow on Drudge:

Radical cleric denounces GOP as 'extremist'
Demands Republicans 'stop' all campaigning
Limbaugh: The 'Mad Mullah' of America

Antispandex October 25, 2011 at 7:24 pm

But, but, without extremism, there would be no place for…Pat Robertson. Falling on his proverbial sword?

YouBetcha October 25, 2011 at 7:25 pm

I'm not a medical doctor, but I'm pretty sure he's having a stroke.

Chichikovovich October 25, 2011 at 8:09 pm

Or maybe he's been in a state equivalent to having a stroke for 60 years, but for a brief, fleeting moment he's having an un-stroke.

Jukesgrrl October 25, 2011 at 8:29 pm

He's having whatever Karl Rove had yesterday.

SayItWithWookies October 25, 2011 at 10:00 pm

Well that rules out doubt and remorse. And most other human emotions.

Generation[redacted] October 25, 2011 at 7:28 pm

I want to see him try and leg press 1,000 lbs again!

BerkeleyBear October 25, 2011 at 8:08 pm

I have no idea why, but I was just thinking about that little photo op the other day. That was about the most hilarious thing I've ever seen. If that's what passes for a leg press, I must have been able to lift 2 tons just with my big toe. Praise Jeebus.

PoopFilledSquadCar October 25, 2011 at 10:57 pm

I loved when he pushed his legs to start "pressing". Like he was kick-starting himself.

weejee October 25, 2011 at 7:29 pm

Lewis Carroll on a handful of orange sunshine, or purple double dome – you decide, wouldn't have been able to make this shit up.

ShaveTheWhales October 26, 2011 at 3:05 am

You display a disturbing familiarity with

wait

what?

starfanglednut October 26, 2011 at 12:05 pm

I thought a history of hallucinogen abuse was a requirement for membership in the wonkeratti.

starfanglednut October 26, 2011 at 12:04 pm

On the brown acid, maybe.

CapnFatback October 25, 2011 at 7:29 pm

Maybe he's referring to "extreme position" in the X Games sense, creating a metaphor of the Republican candidates doing verbal boardslides and ollies in their campaigning.

It's the only thing that makes sense, right? I mean, no candidate has called for the assassination of Hugo Chavez, right?

Dok-cupy Everything October 25, 2011 at 7:30 pm

Yes, Pat, and as I said when Herman Cain announced that "stupid people are ruining America," we are all in great danger: the National Institute of Irony is just about to explode.

Negropolis October 25, 2011 at 9:32 pm

The insurance premiums on the National Institute of Irony must be ridiculous.

NorthStarSpanx October 26, 2011 at 1:49 pm

But which Cain did Pat mean? The Biblical one? Or the Pillsbury Dough Herb?

SudsMcKenzie October 25, 2011 at 7:36 pm

Even crackheads have their moments of clarity.

One_who_wanders October 25, 2011 at 7:37 pm

This is the equivalent of Torquemeda telling you that you are overly harsh.

Dok-cupy Everything October 25, 2011 at 7:44 pm

It's like Richard Simmons asking you to tone down the campiness.

MissTaken October 25, 2011 at 7:46 pm

Or Liberace asking you to tone down the feathers and sequins.

BerkeleyBear October 25, 2011 at 8:16 pm

Idi Imin telling you "you're too intense." (Stole it from Robin Williams, who probably stole it from a comic you've never heard of).

William Shatner telling you, . . . your. Delivery – is stilted!

Weird Al telling you your music is derivative.

Al Gore telling you that you seem stiff.

John McCain telling you you're too impetuous and impulsive with major decisions.

Lindsey Graham saying you are effeminate.

Emeril saying you're too excitable in the kitchen.

Vladimir Putin calling you a cold hearted bastard.

Ronald Reagan saying you are forgetful.

W saying you're a loudmouthed Texas sized idjit (or just Rick Perry)

Herman Cain calling you an Uncle Tom

Michele Bachman saying you're mentally unstable.

Dok-cupy Everything October 25, 2011 at 8:22 pm

Alanis Morissette saying that you have no idea what irony is.

Jukesgrrl October 25, 2011 at 8:31 pm

Kim Kardashian telling you you're materialistic and have bad taste.

Steverino247 October 25, 2011 at 9:19 pm

Let's face it. You can't Torquemada anything…

Dok-cupy Everything October 26, 2011 at 12:05 am

Still, whatta rack!

unclejeems October 25, 2011 at 9:39 pm

Like Carl Rove apologizing for shooting you in the face.
Like Hitler telling the SS, nah, we've slaughtered enough of them . . .
Like Richard Nixon admitting he's a crook.
Like Franco, rising from his grave and governing Spain.
Like Louis XV, telling his courtiers, apres moi, maybe a little dry spell.
Like the Father of our Country, telling his dad, well, maybe a little teensie, weensie white lie, once in a while.
LIke Napoleon, saying "Constitutions? Hell, yeah."
Like Amelia Earhardt's navigator, who told her, "No problem, I've crossed the Pacific by the seat of my pants dozens of times."
Like a Republican, with a conscience . . . no, wait a minute.

(Slaps himself on the forehead and stomps off muttering to himself.)

Swampgas_Man October 25, 2011 at 7:37 pm

Crazy Shit realizes shit has gotten too crazy. Unless this is his way of dropping into the race as a moderate.

NYNYNYjr October 25, 2011 at 9:06 pm

He doesn't think it's got too crazy- he's saying keep the crazy in your mind when you're running, then, when elected, do the crazy.

rocktonsam October 25, 2011 at 7:40 pm

I think he means Cain.

Biel_ze_Bubba October 25, 2011 at 8:27 pm

I think he means, "Holy shit … everyone's gone pandering so far to the right that Herman *coughblackcough* Cain might be the nominee!!! We gotta dial it back, people!" (Just until the primary is over, you understand.)

OneYieldRegular October 25, 2011 at 7:40 pm

What? He didn't blame the Ghey? And to think that for once he might have been right.

JackObin October 25, 2011 at 7:40 pm

Pat Robertson is mentally ill. He needs to be locked in a padded cell. He represents everything that is wrong with this defective species.

Slim_Pickins October 25, 2011 at 7:41 pm

Who would have ever pegged Pat as a RINO?

Dok-cupy Everything October 25, 2011 at 7:45 pm

The freepers who excoriated FoxNews for being too harsh on poor Hank Williams Jr?

Slim_Pickins October 25, 2011 at 9:44 pm

As Fox announced in a World Series promo, "Albert Pujols joined Babe Ruth and Reggie Jackson as the only two people to hit three home runs in a single World Series game." Who can argue with logic like that?

Biel_ze_Bubba October 25, 2011 at 11:34 pm

150% of those guys agree.

poncho_pilot October 25, 2011 at 8:06 pm

Adelia Elmer? anyway, the act of pegging is why God hates us and there are hurricanes, also too.

Negropolis October 25, 2011 at 11:59 pm

heh, he. You said "pegged Pat." I think I've seen that movie.

poncho_pilot October 25, 2011 at 7:42 pm

does this have something to do with the Overton window? or is that just the window Christie has to be defenestrated from?

SayItWithWookies October 25, 2011 at 7:42 pm

So is Pat telling the GOP to stop it with the crazy-ass ideas, or to just shut up about them for now? I'm going with the second — it's like whoever pulled Dubya's strings in 2000 managed to keep him from saying his highest priority was going to be invading Iraq.

BerkeleyBear October 25, 2011 at 8:18 pm

Ding. Ding. Ding. (Only don't let them know, please).

The number one difference between Perry and W – W actually listened to Rove, who kept him sounding sane with all that "compassionate conservative" bs. Perry and Cain have no filters, and Mitten is all filter all the time.

starfanglednut October 26, 2011 at 12:09 pm

As astute a political analysis as I have read in quite some time.

BerkeleyBear October 26, 2011 at 3:03 pm

Comes from raising a kid with autism and having my own Asperger trait issues – you know when someone has no ability to discriminate between what should be an internal and external monologue (even if you can't keep yourself from making the same sort of mistake).

OccupytheDashboard October 25, 2011 at 7:45 pm

Hey Pat. It's nice you're taking a break from your own idiocy spattered invective. Too little too late though. Hey…you're a Bible guy, maybe this is familiar?

"For they have sown the wind, and they shall reap the whirlwind…"

ThundercatHo October 25, 2011 at 7:46 pm

Translation: Tell 'em what they want to hear and after you're in office phone it all it to Jesus.

GeorgiaBurning October 25, 2011 at 7:46 pm

Strange that Pat Robertson now represents the left-wing of the Rethuglican party. If I was Obama I'd have some dirty tricks guys stirring up shit just to see the Rethuglican candidates try to out-crazy each other.

Rotundo_ October 25, 2011 at 8:09 pm

Why? They seem to be doing magnificently without any help at all. Save the cash and energy for dealing with the election. The primary season has yet to even begin and these jokers are bursting out every which way. Sit back and watch the circular firing squad and marvel that it is the right doing this shit this time around.

MissTaken October 25, 2011 at 7:46 pm

Why does Pat Robertson hate America?

Dok-cupy Everything October 25, 2011 at 7:49 pm

Don not ask for whom the stopped clock tolls; it tolls for thee.

fuflans October 25, 2011 at 7:57 pm

[rubs hands in glee]

mrblifil October 25, 2011 at 7:57 pm

How'd all that work out for Johnson vis a vis reelection anyway?

Dok-cupy Everything October 25, 2011 at 8:26 pm

Well, he only lost a couple of primaries in '68…

Chichikovovich October 25, 2011 at 8:01 pm

What Robertson actually means is "Sure, you should want to crush unions, raise taxes on the po' to cut taxes on the Louis XIV class, make war on every country with a funny name and borrow from the Chinese to do it so as to make future social programs impossible, hobble public schools and smuggle in public support for religious schools, *silently* cheer the death of the uninsured and *silently* boo gay soldiers, regard praying for rain as a state's entire forest fire fighting policy and howlingly blame Obama for everything from the assassination of Garfield to the designated hitter rule. That's all in the Republican platform that nobody reads anyway. Just DON'T admit that that's what you're doing. Stealth is the only way to get what we want."

emmelemm October 25, 2011 at 8:14 pm

Designated hitter rule!!! {shakes fist in air}

imissopus October 25, 2011 at 8:43 pm

Garfield was assassinated? But who will eat all the lasagna? WON'T SOMEONE THINK OF THE LASAGNA???

Occupy V572 October 25, 2011 at 8:02 pm

Pat's worst fear: that he'll only have two black men to vote for in 2012.

MissTaken October 25, 2011 at 8:02 pm

I hope the candidates do listen to him, because he knows about failed GOP presidential primary bids.

iburl October 25, 2011 at 8:02 pm

I think as long as the GOP does not nominate that one gay republican guy that's running that they won't let in the debates, they SHOULD be safe from hurricanes.

Beetagger October 25, 2011 at 8:04 pm

Pat is simply expressing his concern about a coon versus darkie general election.

MissTaken October 25, 2011 at 8:04 pm

Wait! I thought the rapture was on Friday? Why the hell is this guy still around?

Biel_ze_Bubba October 25, 2011 at 11:35 pm

The Rapture has been postponed indefinitely, due to lack of interest.

Rotundo_ October 25, 2011 at 8:04 pm

When Pat Robertson tells you that you've gone round the bend, you have really accomplished something. The combination of Randian nutjobs, Christian nutjobs and opportunistic political whores has perhaps, not that I would put money on it, but perhaps has finally overshot far enough into fascism to even scare the old guard shitless. I never thought they would go too far right for Pat. Damn.

BlueStateLibel October 25, 2011 at 8:07 pm

You know who else belatedly figured out that a lifetime of hateful crowing wasn't such a good idea?

Blueb4sunrise October 25, 2011 at 8:14 pm

The Little Red Rooster?

Chichikovovich October 25, 2011 at 8:15 pm

Lee Atwater?

poncho_pilot October 25, 2011 at 8:16 pm

Scrooge McDuck?

Chet Kincaid October 25, 2011 at 8:35 pm

George Wallace?

imissopus October 25, 2011 at 8:38 pm

Dr. Venture?

littlebigdaddy October 25, 2011 at 9:41 pm

Mussolini in his final moments?

Chillwaver October 25, 2011 at 8:12 pm

Is this old vampire still alive?

poncho_pilot October 25, 2011 at 8:18 pm

well, is a vampire technically "alive"? don't know that i'd stake my life on that.

Chillwaver October 25, 2011 at 8:27 pm

How would I know? Unlike Mittens, I don't read Twilight…

mrblifil October 25, 2011 at 9:35 pm

Yeah but a good number of the rent boys weren't so lucky.

Chet Kincaid October 25, 2011 at 8:14 pm

Jesus wept, then blew his brains out. Being immortal, this was not helpful.

Dok-cupy Everything October 25, 2011 at 8:14 pm

It's official: Freeplandia has declared Pat Robertson a RINO.

Samples:

For my money, Pat has gone daft. The "Republican Base" is no where near conservative enough. The "base" of the GOP has been shifting left for years.

Extremism in the pursuit of liberty is no vice.
What happened to that GOP?

Too extreme?
Because we think the government should spend only what they take in?
….
[much snippage of Tea Party talking points, for length--DokZoom]…
Because we think there is too much government intrusion into our daily lives, from regulating the amount of water we can flush down a toilet, electricity we burn in a lightbulb, or fat we eat in a meal?
…[snip again]…
Because we feel that abortion should not be as easy an option as taking an aspirin for a headache?….

I love that they see regulations to limit resource waste as an unwarranted intrusion of Big Gummit into our lives, but think that Big Gummint should reach right into a woman's uterus…

Pat’s main beef with those of us on the right is that we support Israel and he is a dirty, rotten, filthy anti-semite.
He loves the Palenstinians.

He lost me when he suggested that a man may divorce his wife if she has Alzheimer’s. The Christian community condemned his statements. Poor guy needs to pass the reigns to his son. He is obviously very confused.

I think the #1 job of the stealth Democrat known as a RINO in the leadership of the GOP has been as I’ve posted numerous occasions the redefining of the meaning of Conservatism. It’s seemingly, to me anyway been a cause for them.
They’ve been working at it for a long time.

Enemies everywhere–even–or ESPECIALLY–in our ranks!!!

These guys are going to be so much fun when Romney sews up the nomination.

Blueb4sunrise October 25, 2011 at 8:22 pm

Wow.

poncho_pilot October 25, 2011 at 8:25 pm

the base isn't conservative enough? shifting left? haha. and…Democrats! with glowing red eyes! dressed as sheep! the only thing that would be funny to me about these jackasses being in power would be the frequent Party Purges.

emmelemm October 25, 2011 at 8:40 pm

Why, you dirty, rotten, filthy….

LOVE the epithets.

Cicada October 25, 2011 at 9:16 pm

These guys are going to be so much fun when Romney sews up the nomination

PUMA II : Electric Boogaloo

grex1949 October 25, 2011 at 10:47 pm

A sincere "thank you" for sifting through that swamp to bring us the essence of what these dipshits are saying to one another. Amazing that Pat Robertson is just too liberal for this crowd. These folks, I'm afraid, are seriously fucked up.

OutsideAgitator October 25, 2011 at 8:23 pm

Hey, what about heavily taxing the churches and the obese felines, and slashing military spending by 75% as a way to finance jobs for all who want one?

VespulaMaculata October 25, 2011 at 8:24 pm

Next, Casey Anthony, Andrea Yates and Susan Smith collaborate on a book of parenting tips.

Chet Kincaid October 25, 2011 at 8:24 pm

CHRINO – CHRISTIAN IN NAME ONLY!!!!1!1!

Dok-cupy Everything October 25, 2011 at 9:19 pm

How about "Cretin"? I could get behind "cretin."

Biel_ze_Bubba October 26, 2011 at 1:18 am

CHINO works better. You can make pants jokes, too.

Jukesgrrl October 25, 2011 at 8:24 pm

Love the use of "those people." Aren't they the same ones who financed your empire, Rev. Grandpa Douchebag?

comrad_darkness October 25, 2011 at 8:34 pm

>They’ve got to stop this! It’s just so counterproductive!

Yeah, candidates, don't tell the truth, lie!

Chet Kincaid October 25, 2011 at 8:40 pm

"IX-NAY ON THE CRAY-CRAY!!"

Guppy October 25, 2011 at 8:42 pm

Has he been tested for Alzheimer's recently?

SayItWithWookies October 25, 2011 at 10:38 pm

The LORD told him he was fine, if that's what you're asking.

littlebigdaddy October 25, 2011 at 8:45 pm

Maybe it's true what the philosophers say–senility is a second childhood. Just as young children are incapable of strategic lying, Pat is finally speaking the truth.

imissopus October 25, 2011 at 8:58 pm

Next on the 700 Club: does this amateur cellphone video show the Dark Lord Satan wearing a snow parka?

ttommyunger October 25, 2011 at 9:12 pm

Heard in trailer parks all over 'Merika: "Treason!"

Dok-cupy Everything October 25, 2011 at 9:20 pm

None Dare Call It Stoopid.

ttommyunger October 25, 2011 at 9:24 pm

I can just hear the wailing and gnashing of….well, not teeth, I guess….considering.

mavenmaven October 25, 2011 at 9:13 pm

oh yeah? Mr Robertson, show us your birth certificate!

grex1949 October 25, 2011 at 10:49 pm

Birth certificates hadn't been invented yet when he was born.

user-of-owls October 25, 2011 at 11:02 pm

Birth hadn't been invented yet when he was born.

flamingpdog October 25, 2011 at 11:08 pm

It has to be the long-infirm birth certificate.

Negropolis October 25, 2011 at 11:58 pm

Parchment does't hold up well as you think it would.

Negropolis October 25, 2011 at 9:17 pm

Oooo…this could be a fun game. Guess the next End-of-the-World newspaper headlines:

1. KKK proposes merge with NAACP
2. GOP congressman caught screwing adult female intern
3. Koch Bros. stop meddling in American politics, move to India for spiritual enlightenment.
4. Taliban funds construction of a womens' center in downtown Kabul

Negropolis October 25, 2011 at 9:22 pm

Kirsten, I love you for calling Robertson a "dank gutter rat." God bless you.

Can you believe this guy is shilling for that apostate, Mitt Romney? Then again, this is a Christian conservative, and they are like the very definition of strange bedfellows…and it's allways the fellahs.

valgal2342 October 25, 2011 at 9:29 pm

…."Now whether this did it to Cain, I don't know, but nevertheless…."
Cain, Abel whatever, this shit is just getting too weird.

subsum October 25, 2011 at 10:09 pm

Pat is dead wrong. The Republican base must not give in on their principles. They need to make sure their nominee is a true conservative; someone who will not cave in no matter what the consequences. That way we'll make sure they stay out of the White House for another four years at least.

James Michael Curley October 25, 2011 at 10:12 pm

Pat Robertson will always be one hurricane short of a bag full of hot air,

Dok-cupy Everything October 25, 2011 at 10:15 pm

Hey, speaking of right-wing extremists, PBS's Frontline is rerunning "Death By Fire," its episode on the Todd Willingham case. You know, the one where Rick "Execute everyone" Perry ignored scientific evidence that probably exonerated a man accused of killing his children by arson? Only the "investigation" that convicted Willingham depended mostly on disproven techniques, not science? But hey, Willingham was convicted, and he was kind of an asshole, so there's no way he could have been railroaded, no big whoop.

"I'm Rick Perry, and I like killing people."

The Frontline site also includes an excellent collection of links, including David Grann's New Yorker story that brought the Willingham case to national prominence.

grex1949 October 25, 2011 at 10:58 pm

Willingham was kind of an asshole, by most accounts, but he probably didn't kill his children. Every responsible expert in the field of fire propagation patterns testified that the evidence that convicted Willingham of arson was seriously flawed, and that conclusions drawn by the prosecution's expert were not based on fact and science, but on hand-me-down, anecdotal "truth" shared by fire marshals from one generation to the next.

Dok-cupy Everything October 25, 2011 at 11:59 pm

Rick Perry is sure Willingham was a monster, since his last words in the death chamber were an "obscenity-laced triad" (Perry's word) against his wife, who had publicly said that she was convinced of his guilt. Perry was so certain of Willingham's guilt that he fired the state science commission that was preparing a report which probably would have reflected the thinking of fire scientists, and replaced the head of the commission with a political ally. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AVKizlWVzmI

Rick Perry knows that if science gives you answers you don't like, science is worthless.

Biel_ze_Bubba October 26, 2011 at 1:33 am
starfanglednut October 26, 2011 at 12:17 pm

"an obscenity laced triad"

Now that's a religion I could get behind.

Biel_ze_Bubba October 26, 2011 at 1:19 am

Not based on fact and science, but on hand-me-down, anecdotal "truth" passed from one generation to the next.

Gee, that sounds really familiar.
Fuckwit Perry is a fuckwit.

MiniMencken October 25, 2011 at 10:16 pm

The Kochs and their posse don't necessarily need to believe any of this Bircher jibber-jabber, but they know how the adaptive network model works and are using it to create these swarms of Teabaggers, who will clamor for legislation that puts the plutocrats ever more firmly in the driver's seat. I just realized this while reading about swarming behavior in locusts.

ColonelDoctor October 25, 2011 at 10:18 pm

Is it possible that this irony is so ironic that it's a conspiracy? That the right is spinning Pat so that we could be distracted in the other direction? Or that Pat is talking shit just to give a polarizing sentiment to make things more Romney-friendly? Or is this shit just totally fucked-up?

Biel_ze_Bubba October 26, 2011 at 1:37 am

Nothing so elaborate: Pat's just freaking out now that he sees where the candidates' pandering to the wingnuts has left the GOP: with Herman *coughblackcough* Cain as the frontrunner. He wants them to tone down the crazy until a white guy is safely installed.

glamourdammerung October 25, 2011 at 10:21 pm

It seems more like Robertson is telling the GOP to lie about how extreme it is in order to try to con sane people into voting for them. Kind of like what Robertson did with his "combat veteran" military record.

awwalk56 October 25, 2011 at 10:22 pm

One of the main social arsonist that started this fucking fire now complains that the fire is too hot. Fuck him. Soon rev.pat will be with the other social arsonist falwell licking hot skillets in their imaginary hell. None too soon.

ProudLibunatic October 25, 2011 at 11:19 pm

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!!
Live by the sword, die by the sword, mother-fucker!!

johnnyzhivago October 25, 2011 at 11:22 pm

Pat is a defeatist socialist swine. Probably a Mooslim now too. Republicans must stand their ground and express the MOST EXTREME positions possible. This is not the time to surrender – this is the time to go even more EXTREME! Expose the foreign imposter in the White House. Shut down the post office and replace it with UPS and FedEx like Ben Franklin envisioned! Derail Amtrak – if Jefferson wanted the United States to run passenger trains he damned well would have mentioned it to someone!!!

Republicans are shining an incandesent light of freedom on the horrors of enslavement under the sickly, flickering glow of democrat sponsored communism.

Biel_ze_Bubba October 26, 2011 at 1:40 am

"Republicans are shining an incandescent light of freedom."

The light is from the flames of their self-immolation, but I'm cool with that. I like the nice, rosy glow of spontaneously combusting wingtards.

ShaveTheWhales October 26, 2011 at 12:07 am

Why is Pat Robertson still alive?

user-of-owls October 26, 2011 at 12:28 am

To serve as an object lesson in depravity.

RadioOcupados October 26, 2011 at 12:43 am

Oh, oh, finally, I know the answer to this one….Hitler!

Negropolis October 26, 2011 at 2:01 am

Because God has a wickedly dark sense of humor?

Because hate is a great motivator to continue onward in life?

lulzmonger October 26, 2011 at 1:15 am

Translation: "Stop saying what we really want out loud, you stupid fuckers!"

Pat fears the passing of the venerable GOP tradition of secret deals in smoke-filled back rooms.

The Grotesque Old Parody is forgetting Reagan's OTHER 11th Commandment: thou shalt not go out in public with the rat still stuck on the end of thy dick.

jus_wonderin October 26, 2011 at 10:12 am

This guy needs to be F'd in the ear hard enough that I can hang a STFU sign on the opposite ear.

ChrisM2011 October 26, 2011 at 10:56 am

That's like Col. Sanders telling you to cut down on the chicken.

Troglodeity October 26, 2011 at 1:52 pm

Sitting on a sofa on a Sunday afternoon.
Going to the candidate's debate.
Laugh about it, shout about it, when you've got to choose
Every way you look at this you lose.
So here's to you, Mr. Robertson …

johnnyzhivago October 26, 2011 at 12:15 pm

Frequently…

starfanglednut October 26, 2011 at 4:01 pm

How is day 87 going?

user-of-owls October 26, 2011 at 7:25 pm

Swimmingly.

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