Still trying to get Rick Perry’s “sausage rickroll” commercial out of your brain? How about the entire original campaign spot that produced the sausage fest’s closing shots of Perry inexplicably dressed in a full Halloween costume of a cowboy:
Thanks again to Wonkette operative “Andrew K.,” who is some kind of video-archive emotional terrorist.
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I thought the "Marlboro Man" died of lung cancer.
"cigarhead?"
No, he kicked the habit after seeing Cain's campaign ad.
Like a Rhinestone Cowboy….
~
Needs more dead coyotes.
After they shot the ad, everyone went out for sausage.
~
No need to go far; those chaps fame his meat & 2-veg well enough.
Assless chaps!!!!! Gey!!!
Where's the rest of the Village People?
Hanging out with Marcus Bachmann.
Lessee. . . the construction worker is occupying Wall Street, the cop is protesting Ohio's Senate Bill 5, the Soldier has just been re-upped to Afghanistan, the biker is marooned in the Mojave Desert and can't afford the price of a gallon of gas, and the Native American is dead and buried under Rick Perry's shed, a victim of a recent jogging barrage.
Isn't it time we updated these archetypes? Though I am at a loss to suggest what new "types" we could pick.
The Republican campaign manager, the Evangelical preacher, the Mid-western State Senator, the Texas "Cowboy" and Lindsey Graham.
what about right wing "journalist"?
Republican congressman?
2 thumbs up for thoroughness!
Actually that's the perfect commercial for Perry – at no part of it does he have to speak.
"I wish I knew how to quit you, Rick."
- G.W. Bush
~
Every cowboy knows the importance of quality ass-less chaps
REAL cowboys don't wear jeans under their chaps.
At least they don't at the Folsom Street Fair…
But wouldn't a chap's ass get chapped in assless chaps?!
how much ass could a chap's ass chap if a chap wore assless chaps?
Ask Siri.
Add ass to 'em, you end up with leather pants.
Every cowboy knows the importance of crotch-less leather pants
None of them is precious "private sector."
What's the difference between a "farmer," a "rancher," a "grower" and a "sausage inspector"?
They're different combinations of lawyers, guns, and money.
One of them smells better at the end of the day.
The "grower" is the only one having fun all day.
The Village People? I give up.
If there's one thing this country has taught me, it's that Fake Cowboys always win.
Are you sure that wasn't a commercial for The A-List: Dallas?
Now that you mention it, Taylor bears some resemblance to the Rickster…
Even real cowboys down here don't get that dressed up, not even at Halloween.
No, no, no… this was Perry's audition tape for the lead role in Brokeback Mountain
Oh, and I love the stammering look of intense concentration as he's reading his daughter a children's book.
That's My Pet Goat that he borrowed from a friend.
It's still better than 'surprising' Sarah Palin on her VP Bus for a TV interview, 'reading' to Trig by turning the pages at three second intervals. . .upside down.
I thought the kid was reading it to him.
"Ta-he, ta-he"
"Daddy, it's 'the'"
"Thanks, honey. 'The big blue fish swam upst-re-am, ups-tram'"
"'upsteam.'"
"Thanks, honey."
His gay Hitler costume was better.
So the horse is Perry's beard?
Or vice-versa?
This video justs caps off a day in which his tax plan goes down in flames even as he questions Obama's birth certificate again.
So you're saying that it isn't fair for John Paulson (2010 income, $5 billion) and a minimum-wage nightshift clerk at 7/11 (2010 income, assuming full-time work, $15,080) to pay tax at the same 20 percent rate?
Especially since the minimum wage night clerk will have to pay FICA on 100% of his earnings while Paulson pays it on just .002136% of his income.
Well, after Big Ricky “privatizes” Soshecurity, there won’t be any FICA withholding. See? Tax cuts = freedom. Or maybe he’ll just route the withholding directly to Merrill Lynch, who knows, it’ll never happen.
Oh well. That's very different. Nevermind.
Well, he's sure to get the votes of Linda Lael Miller readers.
…And then Joey Stephano walked out of the brush in daisy dukes and a pair of cowboy boots and the buttsecks began!
I know my late eighties porn!
Dad?
Oh, I remember this one. The horse was really verbal and controlling in it.
True Bullshit.
Nice closing with two horse's asses.
Even the horses are ashamed.
I'll see you yer Perry and raise you a Cornyn:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Gq5YaXBcYE
My god that was awful. Please tell me he's going to lose
Alas, he rode that piece of advertising genius to easy re-election in 2008.
Isn't he "retiring," owing to his shame at the not-intended-to-be-a-factual-statement embarrassment?
To me, via email from Cornyn: "I share the frustration of the American people regarding the federal government's inability to restrain spending. Our national debt is now more than $14 trillion, and has increased by one-third since the beginning of the Obama Administration."
Aren't we now putting the costs of THE WARS on the books instead of hiding them from the budget?
canyonero! whoa! what's with the awful David Byrne/"World Music"/early-90's Myst/Riven music mixed with the worst Lorne Greene impersonator ever?
anyway, this is how you do that shit fucking right: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-9sIPW9twl0
Forgot to mention cheerleader.
Yell leader, if you please. The difference is they're not gay. Or think they aren't. Or haven't come out. Or think that doing it with rentboys doesn't count.
Jesus, Mary, and Joseph in Assless Chaps! Okay, if I wasn't already a total raging cocksmoking homo, I absolutely would be after watching that ad.
There, you see? The LSM does promote the homosexual agenda!
Get yer gad danged feet off the table, Rick!
Apparently, Perry is running for president of the 1890s.
Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition!
Is there anywhere but Texas where a grownup can dress up like a five year old getting ready to watch Howdy Doody in the 1950s and still be taken seriously?
He also likes to press wildflowers.
Needs more candle-power.
Also too, what is the purpose of pulling leather tight against your scrotum, splitting it in half?
Cowboy equivalent of cameltoe?
Well — if I want my president to look good strutting around on an aircraft carrier I know who to vote for.
Tom Cruise?
Val Kilmer?
Fred Thompson?
Panamanian strongman Juan McCain?
More Midnight and less Cowboy if you ask me.
more midnight? leather?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RzpHmbwqHLM
Let me see if I've got this straight: Texan, check; faux cowboy who likes to play dress-up, check (but can he clear brush?); illiterate, check; pilot, check; wants to cut taxes for his rich friends/cronies, check and check. Yessir. Sounds like the Real Deal to me. What could possibly go wrong?
Perry/Cheney 2012?
Psst, Texans; we're laughing at you over the whole pretending to be cowboys thing; it makes you look silly, not cool.
Ooh, I never miss an episode of Little House on the Perry!
I didn't realize that Niggerhead was mere minutes away from Brokeback Mountain by horse.
But how is he at clearing brush?
I hope Amy Poehler reprises her role of Kaitlin with her Step-Father Rick (Perry.)
Nothing like an SNL take-down of POTUS/VPOTUS candidate too big for their chaps.
ALL RIGHT KEN! I'm going to tell you what I told my kids about bullies.
IF YOU JUST IGNORE TEX-ASS IT WILL GO AWAY!
"Sometimes your instincts tell you when a man is right for the job"
And that's when you click on his profile on rentboy.com
I could be wrong, but that horse looks like he's been touched in an inappropriate way…
As does Rick Perry.
"One of these days, Wilbur, I'm gonna learn to use the new phone and we'll just see what that nice Sarah McLachlan lady has to say about these dockswabber sessions."
srsly, rides a horse like he's in a fucking parade
Here is some video of Rick Perry during his little talked about days in a hair band:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rOKv0qaA-nw
Very nice!
"Sometimes your instincts tell you when a man is right for the job…"="I don't have any facts to back this up."
"This is NOT one of those times."
I'm pretty sure Dubya buried cowboy drag hopefully for good, but at least until the near distant future.
Needs more cigarette smoking.
Oh, believe me, they are puffing away off camera.
I can't decide if his head is too big or his hat is too small. Also, too, d-bag, sit up in the saddle, a real man doesn't slouch.
One thing is for sure: they didn't film that commercial at his $9,900/month rental house in Westlake I'm paying for because Rick and Anita keep dicking around with the reconstruction of the Governor's Mansion. They both love sucking on the taxpayer tit.
I prefer the Tennessee ad where the guy running for Ag Commissioner pulled out his rifle and took a few pot shots.
That thing was all kinds of awesome.
I might vote for the horse. It has to be smarter than Perry. (I didn't look at the vid, is there a horse in there?)
As I recall, he beat Progressive Icon Jim Hightower, didn't he?
Reason #432,783 to hate him.
Needz more little Joey doing the annoying "Shannnne, come backkkkkk".
Ya know, I had horses (and cows) for the first 30 years of my life. NOT ONCE did I wear chaps. Perry is a pussy. Lil Chaffin' Legs Ricky.
And yet most Texans ate this shit up, over and over again.
i tried making fun of this ad when it was current to my Texan father-in-law. he couldn't do it. there was like a barrier he couldn't cross. it was strange.
I know what you mean – my in-laws are Texans as well. Making fun of them is useless because, well, they just don't "get it." They are proud of who they are (or who they think they are) and don't understand why people don't see things their way. It is indeed strange…
all i was really trying to say to him–and i would criticize any politician doing something similar which they mostly all do–is his pandering in cowboy gear when he's kind of a dandy is phony.
Texans seem to view Texas as something sacred. i don't think anything is sacred. that's their right, though. it just seems creepy to me.
The reason for his unease is that, if someone (say, George W. Bush) can effortlessly impersonatef a cowboy, then anyone can, any cowboy one meets could merely the drugstore version, and the whole ethos is revealed to be without a foundation.
I watched the whole ad, but I'm still not sure what state he was running in.
I saw the video three times already, what's wrong with me?
Gay Woody from Toystory ?
I love the part where it shows him reading as the announcer says "some who shares our values and beliefs" as if the Texans this ad was trying to appeal to were avid readers.
Now, in the video aftermath, or before you watched?
Never knew you had to dress like a member of the Village People to get elected in Texas.
You know that ad is all staged because it shows Perry reading a book.
I thought the farmers and ranchers were feudin' in all the cowboy movies, so how's a cowboy fit for an ag job? Does Rick rope cotton and shoot 'taters?
Oh I see, he's a uniter!
He sure as hell unites a lot of disparate emotions in me: hatred, contempt, loathing, anger, disgust…
Well, you get the picture.
OK, I've read about a million "Rick Perry smokes sausages" jokes about now, but have yet to see one source anywhere that gives any legitimacy even to the rumor. Post 'em if you got 'em, but until I see a sliver of evidence, my gut tells me the guy's just a conventional good ol' phony, pulling the wool over the eyes of his wife and his fundamentalist dupes with an eye for the showgirls, not the rentboys. As for the Dubya comparisons, the difference is he is not faking being a common, dirt-ranchin' Texan. Where's the, uh, beef?
This fuckwad is an Eagle Scout. I can't wait to see the ads that play that up. I'll bet he still has his uniform and badges. I barely got past Tenderfoot. One of my first arrests was an Eagle Scout. Caught him in the act of burgling machines in a laundromat. When I found his Eagle Scout Card in his billfold at booking, I let him go with a warning and no paperwork. I know it wasn't Rick Perry, this kid turned out all right.
Assless chaps are teh ghey.
What is up with this giant water bong at 0:25?
In the early part of this video when Cowboy Rick marches out with his chaps on the only thing missing is his unzipped pants and showing his package! What a arrogant SOB.
I'll share this one with others who need a laugh today.
Moar!
so what you're telling me is that the cowboy is both a real cowboy and an imposter cowboy until i open the lid of his pine box?
anyway, i think for him he thinks it's "just what you have to do to get elected" and therefore not worthy of discussing/fighting against. i'm making him sound like a clown shoe. he's not. he's a very, very smart man 90% of the time.
Schrodinger's cowboy FTW.
Or the dual, Perry's Pussy.
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