The vicious professional Muslim-haters of the anti-religious freedom organization “Preserving Freedom Conference” were all set to make their pretty pennies holding a sweaty, paranoid circle jerk for Islamo-fear fetishists at the Hutton Hotel in Nashville, but the mean venue owners canceled their booking contract after they realized it might be bad for business to be seen hosting a gathering of feverish bigots. This, of course, can mean only one thing: BLAME THE SHARIA WITCH MAGIC, and organizers promptly declared the hotel under the spell of Allah’s oppressor demons.
From the Tennessean:
[Preserving Freedom Conference organizer Lou Ann] Zelenik said her group is being censored for opposing radical Islam, and the hotel’s action shows Shariah law is a threat to free speech.
“I feel the Hutton is now under Shariah law,” she said.
See that? And as the rest of the article details, multiple establishments not only in Tennessee but even in Texas do not have “room at the inn” for these nitwits, same as that time baby Jesus had to sleep among the Apostles and their menagerie of pet dinosaurs in a shed, because of Sharia magic. [Tennessean]
{ 218 comments }
Needs more commandments.
This is Tennessee we're talking about. The only "tablets" involved are Oxycontin.
needs less commandments:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p-RGN21TSGk
Thou shalt not be a dipshit.
I hope that no one is going to have to take a day off from working in the sequin mines there to come and protest.
Those sequin miners. They always look so…festive.
it's all shiny baubles until you get Bedazzled Lung Syndrome.
You guys shouldn't make light of this.
My great Uncle Euless was crushed when a pallet of sequins cracked open on his head. He was just crushed, I say. But great Aunt Nettie, his wife, rubbed his feet and brought him a Vodka Tonic (or 4) and he was back on the docks the next morning.
He was a trooper that way. Always thinking of how he could make the world a smidgen more…sparkly.
I wish I could believe in ANYTHING as much these people believe in the all-powerful threat of sharia law.
Shakira on the other hand has two things I believe in.
You know, I wouldn't mind submitting to Shakira Law, at all, not even a little bit. Those hips don't lie, indeed. A candidate you can trust.
no wonder they put grape leaves on the pillows.
Oops – I thought that was an appetizer.
What do freedom preserves taste like?
The grapes of wrath?
The wrath of grapes.
Or, in this case, the gripes of wrath.
the writhe of grift.
The gift of gab.
PP: Watch it.
Like Jesus. Just like Jesus. 'Cause…Jesus.
Vaginal jelly?
So the first amendment is sharia law?
Sharia Law can't be all that bad, if it prevents these assholes from staging their ugly little Circle Jerk of Hate.
Agreed. Maybe a hotel refusing to provide service to these xenophobic hate monkeys is a sign that there may be a hope for a return to sanity in this country.
What a shame…no room for nitwits. I wish the rest of America would wake up and do the same.
Now I've missed my chance to hobnob with celebrities like Brevik-mentor Pam "Show Us Your Tits" Geller and TVs beloved Gopher.
Pam Geller? Didn't she develop anorexia after the producers told her to lose weight or be written out of the show?
You're thinking of Uri Geller.
Spoon!
There is no spoon.
What? You're asking me to leave? I feel this diner is under sharia law, so I'm going to sit here and finish my coffee.
I was told to leave Breitbart so sharia law over there!
If you're Andy Dicks, every bar in town is under sharia law.
I thought you were going to go out and find me a toe.
Getting an event canceled by a hotel in fucking Nashville has got to be the worst litmus test fail in Klan history.
Right? It's like being turned down for a lap-dance in Vegas while you're waving around a fistful of c-notes.
Now THAT is funny
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Islamophobe Nuts…are those sort of like Hazelnuts or more like Macadamia Nuts?
More like trucknutz, but not as smart.
Walnuts.
Brazil Nuts, but these asshats have a more peculiar name for them.
I wish I didn't know what you were talking about.
(Thanks, Grandma!)
Yep. Opposite end to Rick Perry's hunting camp. And my 92 year old mom still uses the term.
My Grandma taught me too…
So did Louie's Aunt Ellen
http://entertainment.time.com/2011/07/22/louie-wa…
Until 1970, I didn't realize that they were called Brazil Nuts.
Popular snack at Rick Perry's summer camp get togethers
I've never tasted them. I've heard they're poisonous.
Most like Shaved Teenage Rent-boy nuts
Sour Grape-Nuts
Sigh. Once again, free speech means the government can't censor what you say; it does not mean that private companies have to give you a platform to say it on.
So, no Nut Libelz?
Unless, maybe, you're in a private park in lower Manhattan. Funny how that works.
Must be something that pinko socialist Thomas Jefferson snuck in. The teabaggers know exactly what George Washington and Jesus intended; surely they're asking themselves, where's Tony "Famous Original" Scalia when you need him?
I like the "Classic" freedom better. This new freedom is so confusing.
So Sharia Law is just companies making decisions motivated by profit?
Wall Street is under Sharia Law!!!
Looks like I speak for many when I say, "I love you."
So, they have to destroy the freedom in order to save it?
you can't make strawberry preserves without picking some strawberries.
or dingleberries in their case.
“I feel the Hutton is now under Shariah law,” she said.
You do not want to know what they do to guests who steal towels.
He was afraid they would steal all the towels.
Or more probably, the sheets.
And pillow cases.
And you know they picked the Hutton Hotel because of the generous offerings of gay porn on its in-room entertainment system.
What, they're too chicken to Occupy the Mosque?
These idjits remind me of the biggest asshole customers I've had to deal with. They tend to be the type who always threaten to take away their business elsewhere when told they can't get what they want especially if they want something that is:
a) stupid
b) unreasonable
c) more costly than they want to pay which is most of the time
d) a combination of the above
i would always tell customers, "i'm sorry you feel that way but i respect your decision."
in other words, "fine. whatever. piss off."
I tell them,"Fine. Whatever. Piss off."
i needed the job too badly. when i worked at a convenience store i didn't even snap at the guy who compared me to Nazi soldiers who were "just following orders" when i wouldn't give him cash back on his debit card because we just didn't do that. i'm an angry person but somehow a patient one. i think i broke something after he left, though.
I truly don't say shit like that… all of the time anyway… but I think it almost always…
First they came for the dimwitted, paranoid bigots…
~
or did they?
They missed a few.
…and I couldn't rat out those pig-eyed fucktards fast enough.
… and then the dimwitted, paranoid bigots could not come for me. So it was cool.
…and I pointed them out to the authorities faster than Judas sold out Jesus.
i think they're confusing capitalism with martial law. or something.
They would have loved Mussolini.
Tickets for the event were $75 and $125.
I did not know Islamophobia was so lucrative. Guess *this* is the Republican jobs plan.
You gotta be shittin' – $75 and $125?!!
If hatin' on Sharia Law can commands that kind of fee, I think maybe, just maybe, it's insidious creeping into Amerika is beginning to piss me off, too.
C-T's RALLY AGIN CREEPING SHARIA LAW
Coming Soon to a Town Near You
Tickets – 20% off if bought in advance – $60 and $100
Gunz r welcome!!!
Once, just once, I would love to hear one of these anti-freedom douchenozzles explain exactly what they think Sharia Law is. Because I can guarantee it will be nowhere close to the truth.
It's mooozlum! That's all you need to know!
Yeah yeah, and Mormonism is not a cult.
Or Scientology either.
Or Christianity.
What I want to know how the fuck they can think there's actually a threat of fundamentalist Muslims actually implementing Shariah law in the United States, or even anyone who wants to. This is only in their paranoid racist delusions.
But if it wasn't for their paranoid racist delusions Wonkette would be a really boring website.
Oh, I feel certain you could spice it up somehow…
We'd still have the "class warfare", various sex scandals and the consortium of idiots, lunatics, grifters and craven panderers running for the Republican nomination.
This article gave me a clue about this obsession.
The suggestion that Shariah threatens American security is disturbingly reminiscent of the accusation, in 19th-century Europe, that Jewish religious law was seditious. In 1807, Napoleon convened an assembly of rabbinic authorities to address the question of whether Jewish law prevented Jews from being loyal citizens of the republic.
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/09/03/opinion/dont-fe…
Same bigotry and fear, new target.
Old target, actually. But yeah, a reliable recipe. The classics never change.
I heard it has something to do with that singer who bellowed "Gypsies Tramps and Thieves". Married to a muslin named Sonny. I could be wrong, but I'm runnin' widit.
A moozlum repugnant who liked to ski. Don't see see too many of those.
And now their spawn is turning our children gay while dancing with a new penis. For shame!
"Freedom" vs. "Freedom Lite," the classic battle between "tastes great" and "less filling."
Some kind of fun lasts longer than others.
NOOOOOOOOOOO NOT LAUREN HUTTON!!!!!!!!!!
I've been to Nashville many times and all I can say is, Shariah law would be an improvement.
Lou Ann Zelenik. That's a kinda foreign sounding name, isn't it?
Sounds messican.
Sounds Alaskunt to me. The first part, at least…
mr fuflans is a graduate of vanderbilt. just like lou ann. i am giving him unlimited shit.
She GRADUATED from something?
So is Jay Cutler. Maybe that explains all the shit he takes.
Do you think Lou Ann's related to Michelle Malkin? They have similar attitudes and Malkin is one of them ferriners, too.
I feel your [desired orifice here] is under shariah law since you won't let me pump my freedoms into it whenever I want. Under the rights given me by the constitution, I will now liberate it and enjoy my righteously claimed spoils.
This is blatant oppression of free speech, William Murray (chairman of the Preserving Freedom conference) said.
HAHAHAHA. Private company, doesn't apply. FREE MARKET, BITCHES.
Yeah, just ask the RonRand Paul pair about that!
So passing the Newseum today- I read the first amendment(because the letters are so damn big) and it begins "Congress shall make no law"- not "a business shall be required". How dumb are these people? I know- really fucking dumb.
Private companies are only free to discriminate against blacks and other groups that teabaggers hate. Otherwise it is a clear violation of the First Commandment. Or something.
See the Breitards that whine about their bans here for more examples.
These people probably check underneath their beds for Muslims before they go to sleep.
The guys don't dare check their closets.
Or their back doors.
And they all have flannel sheets, just in case that one sign wasn't really misspelled.
It's worse then they think:
Just the other day, I went to the local Apple store, and they refused to give me a free i-Pad. Clearly, Apple is under Sharia Law.
And I won't even bother to tell you what my girlfriend refused to do for me last night. She also must be under Sharia Law!
My Sharona Law > Sharia Law, by a factor of the length of my thighs.
after they realized it might be bad for business to be seen hosting a gathering of feverish bigots
I'm afraid they've misfired on what could be a golden tourist opportunity. I for one would show up with my camera, along w/ some fried peanuts for tossing to the flighty troglodyties.
No, no Lou Ann. The hotel didn’t want their bed sheets being used for the Freedom midnight meetings.
And so they all went home to sign the petition keeping their county dry.
Most "dry" counties have a thriving illegal moonshine industry in the deep woods. This is how and why NASCAR began.
This explains the old joke:
Q: What's the difference between a "wet" county and a "dry" county?
A: In a dry county, you can get a drink on Sunday.
This wouldn't happen at a Hannity freedom concert. Hey, Charlie Daniels has a place in Nashville.
How about Hank Williams, Jr. I'm sure he has a ditty about Sharia Law he could contribute.
As expected, the comments on the article are hilarious. A nice mix of reasonable people and right wing nutjobs.
I think that's called "fair and balanced."
An event like this is better suited for a cruise ship anyway. May I suggest a ship that leaks or has routes in waters with lots of icebergs.
I agree with only half of what you say. I prefer a route off the Somali coast.
Imagine the pirates' surprise when they discover that not only will no one pay ransom for the "hostages," but the pirates will have to pay someone to remove them.
I'd pay for a video of Gopher talking about sharia law to an audience of pirates.
naw. the pirates will just cook the bigots up halal-style and sell the meat to Subway.
With a side of Norovirus for the lulz.
And a toilet paper shortage.
Sharia law in the bathroom!
Sharia diarrhea
And make that ship with brittle steel while you're at it…
May I recommend the Achille Lauro?
“I feel the Hutton is now under Shariah law,” she said.
Personally I find it inspiring that this lady, to whom the most plain facts are apparently an unfathomable mystery, has risen above her disability to organize a conference. Now I just hope she goes back to knitting potholders and making ashtrays.
she probably knits ashtrays, too.
Ah, Sharia law. Because this country is so totally going to go Muslim.
Surprises me they don't yell more like Know Nothing Partiers that the increasing numbers of Messicans will make us Catholic. Probably because, much as they hate the Messicans, they agree with Catholic hate of birth control and abortion. At least if we become Papist By Force they can agree on that. And hating gays.
When you hate irrationally, there is so much to choose from.
Here's proof that some of the Founding Fathers were also pussies: They, too had to ignore their deepest, earnest desires to make those unEnlightened, Puritanistic-types SHUT THE FUCK UP — yet instead chose to placate them with their "endowed by their Creator" and a sop to their "establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof"
They should have cold said, "There is no God, cut this stupid shit out," but they didn't.
Lou Ann went on to say
"and you're under Shariah law, and you're under Shariah law, And you two in the corner sitting and waiting for a cab are under Shariah law. I don't even know who you are but you're under Shariah law…"
"This whole damn PLACE is under Sharia Law!!"
"They livin’ it up at the Hotel Shariafornia…"
Man, I hate the fucking Eagles.
Get out of my
cabhotel!As do all right-thinking people.
I thought all "right-thinking" people loved The Eagles, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Alan Jackson, and pretty much every single shitty flavor of country music.
Make it "correctly-thinking people."
The Dude Abides.
But without the fucking Eagles, there would be no Eagles…
“I feel the Hutton is now under Shariah law,” Zelenik said.
I feel that Zelenik is under the IQ of a box of hair.
Pretty sure my feeling is accurate.
You'll excuse me if I decline to listen to braying about "Shariah law" by people whose idea of justice is somewhere to the right of Hammurabi's Code.
How does Hank Williams Jr. feel about this?
It's like Hitler attending a convention with Netanyahu and Stalin canceling their reservation.
Still thinkin' about Gretchen Carlson's tits.
Bob Dylan is writing a song about the minarets in the Nashville skyline, while John Sebastion is releasing "Nashville Mullahs."
I don't see what they have against Mariah law; we all win when crazy hot chicks start stripping on national television.
Yesterday, my intestines were under Sharia law; I was sitting on the toilet all day, everything I ate ran right through me, and vicious cramps.
Well duh! CoCo Puffs and Chocolate milk are the right and left hand enforcers of Muslin God's Sharia law
Were we at the same party in Alexandria(VA- not Egypt)?
WE RESERVE THE RIGHT TO REFUSE SERVICE TO ANYONE…
especially racist bigots and hateful slobber buckets!
ESPECIALLY when they make our business look bad. Because that's what this is all about.
I'll tell those freedom fighters the same thing I told my dog when he decided to spend all night whining and barking at some passing possum the other night at 4:00am:
SHUT UP
That was Pam Geller.
I should've known! CURSE YOU, GELLER!!
Not to get all Barry Goldwater up in here but sometimes the free market does indeed work.
There is no god but god and the Hutton Hotel is his Sharia venue.
the poor hotel probably thought, it being Nashville, they were in town for a Sharia Twain concert!
Man I feel like a Muslim.
Didn't she marry Jude Law?
I hope they update us heathens and let us know which fine Nashville establishment will be hosting their Conference/Jizzfest, so that I can adequately participate.
I'm guessing KKKampgrounds of America.
i hope they play Jizz Odyssey.
I'll start worrying about the fake-ass creeping Sharia as soon as all the repressive Christian laws are out of my life here in Texas.
Needz moar cops with tear gas sending them on their way.
Hey what's with all the sharia? It's like a Tennessee hotel in here!
In other shocking news, |Distaste for Obama Grows in Tennessee. Like a Dem ever has a chance of winning the electoral vote in that state. Obama = Evil Shariah Magic. Pizza Man Cain = Pizza Man Magic and therefore OK.
In other headlines, "Distaste for Tennessee grows in Barrelhse."
Dear Barry:
After you finish bombing the majority of Tennessee out of existence, could you spare a couple of drones for Mississippi?
Much love,
EQ
Considering that Al Gore could not carry the state, this is not a surprising revelation.
“This is not some local anti-Muslim group,” Murray said. “This was a responsible organization of national organizations meeting to discuss the issue of Shariah law.”
We're not some group of local yokel idiots! We're a national collection of idiots!
Also – no wonder Fred Grandy is bitter … he's still known as the guy who played Gopher on the Love Boat. Bet if he'd known the legs that would have, he would have demanded a more dignified name for the character.
And to think, I registered as a Republiklan once so I could vote for him in a primary against Terry Braindead for Governor of Iowa.
My biscuits and gravy was a little cold this morning. I feel my work's cafeteria is now under Sharia Law.
i don't want people like this to get their america back.
Hey, William J. Murray! Must be a bitch having to make a living doing something besides bashing your dead mother (who was Madalyn Murray O'Hair for those of you without a program) for being an atheist. Now that she's gone, you've had to find some new lie to tell, you bastard.
Needs moar backdoor sharia.
Now that's what I'm talkin' about BABY!
Let the Creeping and Nibbling begin!
One more reason to hate termites: They're islamofascist sharia shovelers!
These people shout "SHARIA LAW!!!" every time they don't get their way in much the same manner four-year-old kids yell "THAT'SNOTFAIR!!" every time they don't get their way.
Of course, the average four year old has more common sense and knowledge of the world than these clowns, but still, the comparison holds.
Oh, and I much prefer Shakira Law — it has a much, much better ass.
I'd like to see Shakira Law all across my fruited plain.
It does have that, "You are not the boss of me!!!" ring to it.
"….after they realized it might be bad for business to be seen hosting a gathering of feverish bigots."
In Nashville? What is the world coming to?
Getting as bad as Hammond, Indiana.
Wait till the wingtard racists find out that their favorite corporations (e.g. IBM, Microsoft, Lockheed-Martin, etc) are chalk full of the muslins who use prayer rooms ,etc.
Not to mention the Pentagon. Someone should explain to these people that they are a day late and a dollar short. Their national defense if already under Sharia Law.
Maybe someone checked their credit rating.
Someone needs to tell these morons that sharia law does not mean "anything you dislike". Of course, as conservatives have no desire to be honest, it would not change anything but it might be amusing to see their mean little faces pinch up some more.
The hotel I was at this weekend clearly was under the sway of Sharia Law as well. Not only did they insist I wear pants in the hallways, they stopped serving booze at 11:00 in their bar.
Tennessee is overrun with bible colleges, Christian bookstores, fundamentalist storefront churches, fundamentalist mega-churches, Southern Baptists and other fuckwits.
If anyone actually wanted to implement Sharia Law they wouldn't start in Tennessee
Do I detect disapproval of sweaty, paranoid circle jerks?
Even though they are a fine tradition in most places, yup.
We have sharia law over here so we don't have to have it over there.
Know what else I feel is under Sharia Law?
Hey, don't feel down there!
Jude Law?
But the folks at Weird Nut Daily have now proven that Occupy Orlando is in league with CAIR.
Now for a song from Hank Williams Junior.
In making a decision based on profit motives, the hotel has shown itself to be under the Sharia Law of Supply and Demand
When bigotry is outlawed only outlaws will be bigots.
“I feel the Hutton is now under Shariah law.” And therefore, it must be true.
I hear the Hotel California would love to host them. They would fit right in.
Surely, we have succeeded Orwell's wildest, fevered nightmares, because the very last thing Christianists want to do is "preserve freedom". This is where they find common ground with Islamists and all of the other religious-ists.
"Zelenik", eh? That doesn't sound very American (WASPish) to me…
cha cha cha!
The gaggle of gimps?
That's just sour grapes.
If it wasn't for sour grapes,
I wouldn't have no grapes at all.
—
so you're a grape nut?
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