no country for old bigots

Islamophobe Nuts Decry Sharia Takeover of Nashville Hotel

The Big Sharia conspiracy has even invaded chain hotels!

The vicious professional Muslim-haters of the anti-religious freedom organization “Preserving Freedom Conference” were all set to make their pretty pennies holding a sweaty, paranoid circle jerk for Islamo-fear fetishists at the Hutton Hotel in Nashville, but the mean venue owners canceled their booking contract after they realized it might be bad for business to be seen hosting a gathering of feverish bigots. This, of course, can mean only one thing: BLAME THE SHARIA WITCH MAGIC, and organizers promptly declared the hotel under the spell of Allah’s oppressor demons. 

From the Tennessean:

[Preserving Freedom Conference organizer Lou Ann] Zelenik said her group is being censored for opposing radical Islam, and the hotel’s action shows Shariah law is a threat to free speech.

“I feel the Hutton is now under Shariah law,” she said.

See that? And as the rest of the article details, multiple establishments not only in Tennessee but even in Texas do not have “room at the inn” for these nitwits, same as that time baby Jesus had to sleep among the Apostles and their menagerie of pet dinosaurs in a shed, because of Sharia magic. [Tennessean]

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  1. Barb

    I hope that no one is going to have to take a day off from working in the sequin mines there to come and protest.

        1. jus_wonderin

          You guys shouldn't make light of this.

          My great Uncle Euless was crushed when a pallet of sequins cracked open on his head. He was just crushed, I say. But great Aunt Nettie, his wife, rubbed his feet and brought him a Vodka Tonic (or 4) and he was back on the docks the next morning.

          He was a trooper that way. Always thinking of how he could make the world a smidgen more…sparkly.

  2. MittsHairHelmet

    I wish I could believe in ANYTHING as much these people believe in the all-powerful threat of sharia law.

      1. Negropolis

        You know, I wouldn't mind submitting to Shakira Law, at all, not even a little bit. Those hips don't lie, indeed. A candidate you can trust.

    1. Biel_ze_Bubba

      Sharia Law can't be all that bad, if it prevents these assholes from staging their ugly little Circle Jerk of Hate.

      1. GOPCrusher

        Agreed. Maybe a hotel refusing to provide service to these xenophobic hate monkeys is a sign that there may be a hope for a return to sanity in this country.

  3. Indiepalin

    Now I've missed my chance to hobnob with celebrities like Brevik-mentor Pam "Show Us Your Tits" Geller and TVs beloved Gopher.

    1. Generation[redacted]

      Pam Geller? Didn't she develop anorexia after the producers told her to lose weight or be written out of the show?

  4. Generation[redacted]

    What? You're asking me to leave? I feel this diner is under sharia law, so I'm going to sit here and finish my coffee.

  5. MrFizzy

    Getting an event canceled by a hotel in fucking Nashville has got to be the worst litmus test fail in Klan history.

    1. Not_So_Much

      Right? It's like being turned down for a lap-dance in Vegas while you're waving around a fistful of c-notes.

  6. SorosBot

    Sigh. Once again, free speech means the government can't censor what you say; it does not mean that private companies have to give you a platform to say it on.

    1. Biel_ze_Bubba

      Unless, maybe, you're in a private park in lower Manhattan. Funny how that works.

      Must be something that pinko socialist Thomas Jefferson snuck in. The teabaggers know exactly what George Washington and Jesus intended; surely they're asking themselves, where's Tony "Famous Original" Scalia when you need him?

    1. MissTaken

      you can't make strawberry preserves without picking some strawberries.

      or dingleberries in their case.

  7. SexySmurf

    “I feel the Hutton is now under Shariah law,” she said.

    You do not want to know what they do to guests who steal towels.

  8. littlebigdaddy

    And you know they picked the Hutton Hotel because of the generous offerings of gay porn on its in-room entertainment system.

  9. ManchuCandidate

    These idjits remind me of the biggest asshole customers I've had to deal with. They tend to be the type who always threaten to take away their business elsewhere when told they can't get what they want especially if they want something that is:
    a) stupid
    b) unreasonable
    c) more costly than they want to pay which is most of the time
    d) a combination of the above

    1. poncho_pilot

      i would always tell customers, "i'm sorry you feel that way but i respect your decision."
      in other words, "fine. whatever. piss off."

        1. poncho_pilot

          i needed the job too badly. when i worked at a convenience store i didn't even snap at the guy who compared me to Nazi soldiers who were "just following orders" when i wouldn't give him cash back on his debit card because we just didn't do that. i'm an angry person but somehow a patient one. i think i broke something after he left, though.

  10. Callyson

    Tickets for the event were $75 and $125.
    I did not know Islamophobia was so lucrative. Guess *this* is the Republican jobs plan.

    1. chicken_thief

      You gotta be shittin' – $75 and $125?!!

      If hatin' on Sharia Law can commands that kind of fee, I think maybe, just maybe, it's insidious creeping into Amerika is beginning to piss me off, too.

      Coming Soon to a Town Near You
      Tickets – 20% off if bought in advance – $60 and $100
      Gunz r welcome!!!

  11. MissTaken

    Once, just once, I would love to hear one of these anti-freedom douchenozzles explain exactly what they think Sharia Law is. Because I can guarantee it will be nowhere close to the truth.

    1. SorosBot

      What I want to know how the fuck they can think there's actually a threat of fundamentalist Muslims actually implementing Shariah law in the United States, or even anyone who wants to. This is only in their paranoid racist delusions.

        1. SorosBot

          We'd still have the "class warfare", various sex scandals and the consortium of idiots, lunatics, grifters and craven panderers running for the Republican nomination.

      1. wondering where i am

        This article gave me a clue about this obsession.

        The suggestion that Shariah threatens American security is disturbingly reminiscent of the accusation, in 19th-century Europe, that Jewish religious law was seditious. In 1807, Napoleon convened an assembly of rabbinic authorities to address the question of whether Jewish law prevented Jews from being loyal citizens of the republic.

        Same bigotry and fear, new target.

    2. MrFizzy

      I heard it has something to do with that singer who bellowed "Gypsies Tramps and Thieves". Married to a muslin named Sonny. I could be wrong, but I'm runnin' widit.

    1. Jukesgrrl

      Do you think Lou Ann's related to Michelle Malkin? They have similar attitudes and Malkin is one of them ferriners, too.

  12. widestanceshakedown

    I feel your [desired orifice here] is under shariah law since you won't let me pump my freedoms into it whenever I want. Under the rights given me by the constitution, I will now liberate it and enjoy my righteously claimed spoils.

  13. elviouslyqueer

    This is blatant oppression of free speech, William Murray (chairman of the Preserving Freedom conference) said.

    HAHAHAHA. Private company, doesn't apply. FREE MARKET, BITCHES.

    1. finallyhappy

      So passing the Newseum today- I read the first amendment(because the letters are so damn big) and it begins "Congress shall make no law"- not "a business shall be required". How dumb are these people? I know- really fucking dumb.

    2. glamourdammerung

      Private companies are only free to discriminate against blacks and other groups that teabaggers hate. Otherwise it is a clear violation of the First Commandment. Or something.

      See the Breitards that whine about their bans here for more examples.

  14. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    It's worse then they think:

    Just the other day, I went to the local Apple store, and they refused to give me a free i-Pad. Clearly, Apple is under Sharia Law.

    And I won't even bother to tell you what my girlfriend refused to do for me last night. She also must be under Sharia Law!

  15. Mumbletypeg

    after they realized it might be bad for business to be seen hosting a gathering of feverish bigots

    I'm afraid they've misfired on what could be a golden tourist opportunity. I for one would show up with my camera, along w/ some fried peanuts for tossing to the flighty troglodyties.

  16. WhatTheHeck

    No, no Lou Ann. The hotel didn’t want their bed sheets being used for the Freedom midnight meetings.

    1. memzilla

      Most "dry" counties have a thriving illegal moonshine industry in the deep woods. This is how and why NASCAR began.

      This explains the old joke:

      Q: What's the difference between a "wet" county and a "dry" county?

      A: In a dry county, you can get a drink on Sunday.

  17. Schmannnity

    This wouldn't happen at a Hannity freedom concert. Hey, Charlie Daniels has a place in Nashville.

  18. Generation[redacted]

    As expected, the comments on the article are hilarious. A nice mix of reasonable people and right wing nutjobs.

    1. memzilla

      I agree with only half of what you say. I prefer a route off the Somali coast.

      Imagine the pirates' surprise when they discover that not only will no one pay ransom for the "hostages," but the pirates will have to pay someone to remove them.

  19. SayItWithWookies

    “I feel the Hutton is now under Shariah law,” she said.

    Personally I find it inspiring that this lady, to whom the most plain facts are apparently an unfathomable mystery, has risen above her disability to organize a conference. Now I just hope she goes back to knitting potholders and making ashtrays.

    1. MonsterAGoGo

      Surprises me they don't yell more like Know Nothing Partiers that the increasing numbers of Messicans will make us Catholic. Probably because, much as they hate the Messicans, they agree with Catholic hate of birth control and abortion. At least if we become Papist By Force they can agree on that. And hating gays.

  20. OccupyFnChicken

    Here's proof that some of the Founding Fathers were also pussies: They, too had to ignore their deepest, earnest desires to make those unEnlightened, Puritanistic-types SHUT THE FUCK UP — yet instead chose to placate them with their "endowed by their Creator" and a sop to their "establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof"

    They should have cold said, "There is no God, cut this stupid shit out," but they didn't.

  21. baconzgood

    Lou Ann went on to say

    "and you're under Shariah law, and you're under Shariah law, And you two in the corner sitting and waiting for a cab are under Shariah law. I don't even know who you are but you're under Shariah law…"

      1. Chillwaver

        I thought all "right-thinking" people loved The Eagles, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Alan Jackson, and pretty much every single shitty flavor of country music.

  22. Sue4466

    “I feel the Hutton is now under Shariah law,” Zelenik said.

    I feel that Zelenik is under the IQ of a box of hair.

    Pretty sure my feeling is accurate.

  23. OneYieldRegular

    You'll excuse me if I decline to listen to braying about "Shariah law" by people whose idea of justice is somewhere to the right of Hammurabi's Code.

    1. Generation[redacted]

      It's like Hitler attending a convention with Netanyahu and Stalin canceling their reservation.

    2. Barrelhse

      Bob Dylan is writing a song about the minarets in the Nashville skyline, while John Sebastion is releasing "Nashville Mullahs."

  24. SorosBot

    I don't see what they have against Mariah law; we all win when crazy hot chicks start stripping on national television.

  25. prommie

    Yesterday, my intestines were under Sharia law; I was sitting on the toilet all day, everything I ate ran right through me, and vicious cramps.

    1. io9k9s

      Well duh! CoCo Puffs and Chocolate milk are the right and left hand enforcers of Muslin God's Sharia law

  26. DaRooster

    especially racist bigots and hateful slobber buckets!

  27. CommieLibunatic

    I'll tell those freedom fighters the same thing I told my dog when he decided to spend all night whining and barking at some passing possum the other night at 4:00am:


  28. carlgt1

    the poor hotel probably thought, it being Nashville, they were in town for a Sharia Twain concert!

  29. YouBetcha

    I hope they update us heathens and let us know which fine Nashville establishment will be hosting their Conference/Jizzfest, so that I can adequately participate.

  30. iburl

    I'll start worrying about the fake-ass creeping Sharia as soon as all the repressive Christian laws are out of my life here in Texas.

    1. elviouslyqueer

      Dear Barry:

      After you finish bombing the majority of Tennessee out of existence, could you spare a couple of drones for Mississippi?

      Much love,


  31. HistoriCat

    “This is not some local anti-Muslim group,” Murray said. “This was a responsible organization of national organizations meeting to discuss the issue of Shariah law.”

    We're not some group of local yokel idiots! We're a national collection of idiots!

    Also – no wonder Fred Grandy is bitter … he's still known as the guy who played Gopher on the Love Boat. Bet if he'd known the legs that would have, he would have demanded a more dignified name for the character.

    1. GOPCrusher

      And to think, I registered as a Republiklan once so I could vote for him in a primary against Terry Braindead for Governor of Iowa.

  32. whatupirondog

    My biscuits and gravy was a little cold this morning. I feel my work's cafeteria is now under Sharia Law.

  33. Steverino247

    Hey, William J. Murray! Must be a bitch having to make a living doing something besides bashing your dead mother (who was Madalyn Murray O'Hair for those of you without a program) for being an atheist. Now that she's gone, you've had to find some new lie to tell, you bastard.

  34. UnholyMoses

    These people shout "SHARIA LAW!!!" every time they don't get their way in much the same manner four-year-old kids yell "THAT'SNOTFAIR!!" every time they don't get their way.

    Of course, the average four year old has more common sense and knowledge of the world than these clowns, but still, the comparison holds.

    Oh, and I much prefer Shakira Law — it has a much, much better ass.

  35. Antispandex

    "….after they realized it might be bad for business to be seen hosting a gathering of feverish bigots."

    In Nashville? What is the world coming to?

  36. El Pinche

    Wait till the wingtard racists find out that their favorite corporations (e.g. IBM, Microsoft, Lockheed-Martin, etc) are chalk full of the muslins who use prayer rooms ,etc.

    1. Jukesgrrl

      Not to mention the Pentagon. Someone should explain to these people that they are a day late and a dollar short. Their national defense if already under Sharia Law.

  37. glamourdammerung

    Someone needs to tell these morons that sharia law does not mean "anything you dislike". Of course, as conservatives have no desire to be honest, it would not change anything but it might be amusing to see their mean little faces pinch up some more.

  38. glamourdammerung

    The hotel I was at this weekend clearly was under the sway of Sharia Law as well. Not only did they insist I wear pants in the hallways, they stopped serving booze at 11:00 in their bar.

  39. donner_froh

    Tennessee is overrun with bible colleges, Christian bookstores, fundamentalist storefront churches, fundamentalist mega-churches, Southern Baptists and other fuckwits.

    If anyone actually wanted to implement Sharia Law they wouldn't start in Tennessee

  40. user-of-owls

    In making a decision based on profit motives, the hotel has shown itself to be under the Sharia Law of Supply and Demand

  41. Negropolis

    "Preserving Freedom Conference"

    Surely, we have succeeded Orwell's wildest, fevered nightmares, because the very last thing Christianists want to do is "preserve freedom". This is where they find common ground with Islamists and all of the other religious-ists.

    "Zelenik", eh? That doesn't sound very American (WASPish) to me…

Comments are closed.