Rick Scott: he kind of looks like a wart.Grim hairless weasel Rick Scott’s idea of defending democracy is to pass a hated law to make sure that minorities and students (read: dangerous liberals) in Florida are never again allowed to participate in the electoral process, which means that a high school civics teacher who organized a run-of-the-mill voter registration drive at her school is now technically a criminal. Jill Cicciarelli was unaware that it is currently illegal to go around freely teaching young people to give a shit about politics without the permission of the state, so she will face a fine or be forced to rub Rick Scott’s greasy devil noggin or something, as punishment for Caring.

The Daytona Beach News-Journal reports:

The teacher who heads up New Smyrna Beach High School’s student government association could face thousands of dollars in fines. Her transgression? Helping students register to vote.

Prepping 17-year-olds for the privileges and responsibilities of voting in a democracy is nothing new for civics teachers, but when Jill Cicciarelli organized a drive at the start of the school year to get students pre-registered, she ran afoul of Florida’s new and controversial election law.

Among other things, the new rules require that third parties who sign up new voters register with the state and that they submit applications within 48 hours.

That’s cute. Rick Scott’s entire strategy for handing Florida to the GOP in 2012 is to just paperwork voter registration groups to death and criminalize those who don’t fill out applications correctly. The joke will probably eventually be on Rick Scott, however, as high school civics teachers are at least literate, unlike his legions of idiot teabagger supporters. [Daytona Beach News-Journal]

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  • nounverb911

    Needs more hanging chads.

  • so she will face a fine or be forced to rub Rick Scott’s greasy devil noggin or something

    Can I just say EWWWWWWWW!?

    • bflrtsplk

      I'd rather just pay the fine.

    • 738838

      Please don't.

    • Tommmcattt

      At least it doesn't say "lick".

  • That'll teach Professore Acorn not to mess with our freedumz.

    • nounverb911

      I had a Professor Acorn at Clemson, are they related?

    • flamingpdog

      Professore Acorn? I always wondered what became of Acorna, the Unicorn Girl.

  • tihond

    Wesley Donehue likes the hustle shown by Rick Scott here.

  • nounverb911

    When voting is outlawed, only outlaws will vote?

    • WhatTheHolyHeck

      Silly rabbit. Voting isn't for kids; being part of a demographic group ripe for mandatory drug-testing is.

  • Why don't these corrupt, lying motherfuckers just pass a law saying it's illegal to vote for anyone but the gooper candidate, and get this farce of a democracy over with?

    • emmelemm

      It certainly would eliminate these interminable "middle steps".

    • V572-⁂½‡‡‡‡‡

      You know, not even the Soviet-ear Rooskies did that. They'd have opposition candidates on ballots, with their names printed in tiny type so it was clear who you should vote for

      • Jukesgrrl

        Yes, back in the dark ages my civics (what is THAT?) teacher used to scream at us about how we were supposed to be grateful to live in FREEDUM where we had candidates from two parties to choose from. Apparently Gov. Scott would have raised his hand to "challenge" the teacher (did every school have dorks who did that?) to argue that the USSR had a better system.

    • poorgradstudent

      "Must be this rich to have a say in government."

    • Dok-cupy Everything

      IT'S NOT A DEMOCRACY! IT'S A REPUBLIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      (Usually said whilst flecks of spittle hit the listener; inevitably followed by a discourse on the unconstitutionality of the Federal Reserve. Ron Paul pamphlet optional)

  • Everybody knows registering people to vote is unpatriotic.

    • tihond

      If I remember my history correctly, Sam Adams and Paul Revere road their horses to Fenway Park to warn people that the British were going to try registering them to vote and also.

      • Generation[redacted]

        Ringing them bells and filling out them forms.

        • Ramon X

          And firing warning shots.

      • BaldarTFlagass

        "But the team choked away its wild card spot and the Green Monster was empty of potential voters."

        • GOPCrusher

          That's because they were too busy drinking Sam Adams in the dugout.

          • DashboardBuddha

            at first I thought you wrote "drinking Sam Adams in disgust"….which is about right.

  • SayItWithWookies

    That's government red tape for you — it's an insidious evil when it prevents corporations from dumping toxic waste into nearby streams, but just look — it can be used for good, too, when it's preventing citizens from exercising their rights.

    • DaRooster

      Ha… that's funny… citizens… rights… ha ha…

  • Welcome to Florida, the a state democracy, sanity, reason and time forgot.

    • Since abandoning the land of my birth at the tender age of 3 or 4 (details are sketchy), I can say that I've had some good times in Ybor City (aka an old area of Tampa).

      But getting from there to anywhere else involved such heinous traffic, maybe it'd be better if we just called the whole thing off.

      • The map tells me that Tampa has another suburb/exurb called Town 'n Country. There's also a Land O' Lakes somewhere down here.

        I feel strongly that individuals who live in communities whose name contains a folksy, non-accepted contraction should not be allowed to vote.

        I'll bet if I could work in a firing squad angle (or abortion, or gun ownership rights), I could get that through the legislature.

      • Negropolis

        I think you mean the oldish part of Tampa. lol

    • Rotundo_

      Florida, Leading the way down the shitter for the rest of Amurka! We here in Wisconsin are following your lead, but have a ways to go…

  • PuckStopsHere

    Don't matter. A state that freely elects Rick Scott obviously don't give a fuck about voting in the first place.

    • Electing Ricky Bobby is nothing compared to what these fuckers did back in back in 2000.

    • Negropolis

      Florida: The Honey Badger State

  • elviouslyqueer

    "I just want them to be participating in our democracy," Cicciarelli said. "The more participation we have, the stronger our democracy will be."

    Oh, Jill. Poor, well-meaning, deluded, about-to-be-shipped-off-to-the-Gulag Jill…

    • Gulag? Gitmo is so much closer in distance … and in the spirit of ignoring the Constitution.

  • chicken_thief

    Just one more example of how teachers, with their greedy unions and librul commie beliefs are rooning Ameriku. 10 – 1 she has ties to ACORN!!!!

    • finallyhappy

      and look at that name- looks like an immigrant child to me!

  • Thank you for new story. This shall be an intense debate!

  • Schmannnity

    New Smyrna Beach? Don't sweat it Jill. But don't be taking your lawlessness to Jacksonville with all those Blacks or Orlando with all those Puerto Ricans.

    • flamingpdog

      When I was a wee tyke, my mom made sure I pulled back the foreskin on my little Florida to make sure I washed out the build-up of new smyrna.

  • Indiepalin

    If Rick Scott was smart, he would commission a telephone survey of the state's voters asking them how he is doing.

    • "….survey of the state's voters…"

      Voters? We don't need no stinkin' voters.

    • Dok-cupy Everything

      To save time, he could just poll the robocall machines. The think he's swell!

  • Goonemeritus

    I’m sure this law will be equally enforced against all the evangelical voter registration drives.

    • Jukesgrrl

      And all the homes for the aged where Rick likes to deliver his policy statements.

    • What part of "registering non-white voters" can't you read between the lines?!

  • FakaktaSouth

    This here is a prime example of how Republicans fight to keep government out of your life. No voting.

  • Lucidamente1

    "The new rules require that third parties who sign up new voters register with the state": isn't that why so many Cubans came to Florida in the first place, to get away from shit like that?

    • GOPCrusher

      Not Marco Rubio's parents.

  • BlueStateLibel

    Can't someone just throw Holy Water or something on Rick Scott or say some kind of spell to get rid of him?

    • DaRooster

      We use salt up here on the Nor-Cal Coast… for slugs like him.

    • Tommmcattt

      He got horcruxes hidden all over the country. One of them is in Rush Limbaugh's nutsack, another is in Lindsey Grahm's special little under-the-bed box…

      • fuflans

        and let's not mention the koch family receptacle.

    • Dok-cupy Everything

      Expelliarmus dumbfuckus!

  • metamarcisf

    I don't want to say Rick Scott's popularity is waning, but his approval rating is currently somewhere south of Tony Sparano's.

  • Crank_Tango

    Yet another example of Nobama taking away our constitutional rights!!!!

    • Generation[redacted]

      Most devisive presdent in all history. What moer proof do you need? 2012 can't come soon enuf. Obummer stands for "one tern presnit"

      Now if yul excoose me i'm off to my day job prooof reeding conservapedia.

    • GOPCrusher


  • WordsOfWiesman

    Sure, this law seems undemocratic and evil, but Rick Scott is just trying to save minorities and young people from the temptation to use the voting booth in a cynical attempt to vote for their own interests! Shouldn't we say thank you? Probably!

    • LesBontemps

      Hooray for preventing the real voter fraud!

    • WhatTheHolyHeck

      Paternalism is the new black.

  • CrunchyKnee

    America's wang.

    • Generation[redacted]

      Forever flacid.

  • this is how he's teaching kids about poll taxes we'll all have to pay by 2020.

  • LesBontemps

    Why isn't this menace to freedom in Gitmo?

  • Barb

    Democracy goes in, Democracy goes out, never a miscommunication.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Like the errant runaway Florida housewife, Rick Scott is disgusting filth.

    • elviouslyqueer

      That's the real reason why Fucks and Fiends hated on her so badly. She was being unfaithful to Rick Scott!

    • emmelemm

      Maybe she just wanted to get the fuck out of Florida for a while. I think we can all understand why.

  • hagajim

    Better to have to rub his head than teabag him.

  • mookwrthwilson

    Damn…no comment section on the article…I wanted to read diatribes about how somehow this lady was brainwashing all these kids or how the students were all illegal immigrants…damn…

  • BarackMyWorld

    First, I think that teacher probably already got all the registration and authorization she needed when the state of Florida gave her a certification to teach kids about civics.

    Second, criminalizing helping people register to vote sounds really unconstitutional.

    Third, fuck you, Scott Walker.

    • CapnFatback

      And fuck your little Rick Scott, too!

  • BaldarTFlagass

    "she ran afoul of Florida’s new and controversial "Keep The Nigras, Spics, and Poors from Voting" election law."

    How could she have known?

    • HogeyeGrex

      They always have such catchy names for new laws.

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    If only the GOP and segregationist had thought of this in the 1960s, we wouldn't have all those uppity blacks and browns causing all of our problems now.

    • Generation[redacted]

      Makes you wonder why the south decided to voluntarily get rid of segregation in the first place, doesn't it?

    • Rosie_Scenario

      Like Sen. Trent Lott said to Strom Thurmond on the occasion of his 100th birthday: "If you have won (on segrationist Dixiecrat platform) all those years ago, we wouldn't have some of the problems that we have now."

    • Negropolis

      Really, isn't that that scary that this is exactly the kind of legislation they would have thought up? Jim Crow and his chilluns aren't dead; they simply went into the Witness Protection program.

  • Schmannnity

    If Riley is available, it might be prudent to open a full-time bureau in Tallahassee. Maybe you could split the cost with News of the Weird or Garden and Gun Magazine.

    • Nothingisamiss

      I started rec'ing Gardens and Guns in the mail recently and thought "WTF." Turns out my friend in Berkley thought it was HIGH-larious!!!

      Not if you live here.

    • I was in Tallahassee last week, and saw an Occupy rally outside the Old Statehouse. So the advance work for Riley is already in place.

  • Guppy

    Are you saying that Governor Scott's new election laws are actually job-killing regulations?

  • CapnFatback

    A glimpse of Florida's Third-Party Voter Registration Aid Application:

    Affiliation of Proposed New Voters (check one)

    □ Republican
    □ Libertarian
    □ Tea Party
    □ Other

    Race of Proposed New Voters (check one)

    □ White
    □ Other

    Age of Proposed New Voters (check one)

    □ 65 or over
    □ Other

    Attitude of Proposed New Voters Toward Skinny, Bald Lizard Men (check one)

    □ HAWT!!!
    □ Other

  • SorosBot

    How the fuck is a law like that constitutional?

    • Generation[redacted]

      State constitutions are generally more fine-tuned to the "needs" of the "people"

      • PuckStopsHere

        Unless counting a states' votes in a presidential election is the "need" in question, of course.

    • El Pinche

      It's raining Koch money up in da Supreme Court..

    • GOPCrusher

      It's not. But since we don't have a Department of Justice in this country anymore……..

      • Veritas78

        That's the truth. Eric Holder is a complete corporate pussy. Can anyone name any prosecution he's pursued? Bernie Madoff (how could he not), Bradley Manning, Wikileaks, medical marijuana growers… uh, help me out here. Surely there must be some bankers or credit-rating agencies or torturers or llegal-war-wagers or someone… chirp… … . . . . . . .

        • Piece of shit is trying to take away my POT! Fuck him.

        • Negropolis

          Honestly, what is his claim to fame in this administration outside of escalating the Weed Wars? They've actively been trying to undermine the Michigan Medical Marijuana law, unlike the previous administration that left sorting out the law up to the state.

          I can't for the life of me come up with a scenario in which I could describe the guy as more bad than good for American justice.

  • Fawkdifiknow

    Republican democracy: Talking point.

    Democratic democracy: Criminal act.

  • Guppy

    Mensa member Rick Scott is currently in Brazil trying to sell Florida tourism to the locals.

    Did I mention he's doing this in Rio and it's currently mid-spring down there?

    • BaldarTFlagass

      The phrase "Carry coals to Newcastle" springs to mind. Or maybe Brazil is Rick's "Appalachian Trail Getaway Spot."

      • HogeyeGrex

        I'm thinking more like Rick's "Dominican rent boy" spot.

    • Sure, Brazil is similar to Florida, but if you need a vacation from culture and you like crabby old people, it's perfect!

      • Guppy

        "Florida: for when you wish you had to wear more clothes!"

        • Florida: For when you WISH someone would pass a law ensuring OTHER people wear more clothes.

  • BarackMyWorld


    • Your words wound me, but I bet they don't even phase the morons unable to detect the irony.

  • widestanceshakedown

    Youthful voting is a slippery slope to ghey sechs so Scott's actions saved both lives and souls.

    • LesBontemps

      Ah, youths, vigorously exercising their franchise, building a muscular democracy in the hot, humid Florida … uh, BRB.

      • widestanceshakedown

        I think I want to create a job right now.

    • Slippery slope, ghey sechs? Sounds like some of those conservative ski retreats I've heard about.

      • widestanceshakedown

        The worst thing about a conservative ski retreat would be the view of the slippery slope from the lift. I don't know exactly what that means but it's very dirty.

  • DaRooster

    Does Florida still have teachers?!? WTF?!?

  • Well, at least the Tunisians get to have democracy.

    • Just because *we* can't have it doesn't mean we shouldn't risk our lives to give it to others, right?

  • iburl

    Teaching kids to vote? What's next? Teaching "science" instead of "creation theory" in the classroom? Obviously this school needs to be shut down and vouchers need to be passed out for the Westboro Baptist Church's new "God Hates You, Scum High".

    • elviouslyqueer

      America's Finest Christian Betty Bowers approves.

  • baconzgood

    Unrelated to this post.


    (this comment is 100% snark free)

    • HogeyeGrex

      And how can it be called a McRib if it doesn't have any bones? Said Fearon

      Yes. Because the "Mc" prefix always indicates authenticity.



      • Naked_Bunny

        How can they call it a hamburger when there's no ham in it?


      • baconzgood

        It's authenticity isn't in question as pork…It is what I call S/OrK. Or "SUPER PORK". Imagine if you stuffed the Alvin submersible full of pigs, took them down to 4 miles and opened the hatch for decompression and implosion…..Then you would have 1/3 a McRib.

        • 102415

          Oh baconz, let's have one. Let's have one right now.

    • fuflans

      how can we not love you so much baconz?

    • Please don't eat that, baconz. Please? It's 500 calories PER with an ungodly 29 grams of fat. I can just see your toes pointing skyward after the first bite, as you clutch at your chest and make "Ack! Ack!" Bill-the-Cat-type sounds.

    • Negropolis

      The McRib is an abomination unto the Lord. It is the most processed piece of shit amongst of a menu of overprocessed shit, and I say that as a less-than-sporadic McDonalds customer. They take the meat they use for the burgers, add different seasonings and then mold it into a rib-shaped piece of "food".

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        I'm guessing McDonald's locked in a good price on scraps, floor sweepings and by-products from the operator of dozens of gigantic pig slaughterhouses. It's the other white meat-like processed food product. ("White" means less than 0.5% Messican fingers and other appendages.)

  • Naked_Bunny

    Why don't they just cut to the chase and require all voters to incorporate in Florida as an LLC?

  • Nothingisamiss

    Was there anyone, ANYONE that questioned this law before it was passed?

    • tihond

      Probably the same people that questioned electing Rick Scott.

    • SudsMcKenzie

      That Rachele Lezbo person on MSBS.

      • Nothingisamiss

        Well, there ya go. If she's gonna choose to be a lezbeen, why would anyone listen to her?

        • SudsMcKenzie

          Patty Keene would know that was a joke.

  • RadioOcupados

    They should be teaching kids about how to get away with Medicare fraud with a wrist slap.

    • Jukesgrrl

      Marcus Bachmann's future career.

  • SoBeach

    "Rick Scott’s entire strategy for handing Florida to the GOP in 2012 is to just paperwork voter registration groups to death…"

    Um, republicans have controlled Florida from school boards to county commissions to the state legislature for decades. The only strategy they need in 2012 is to make sure there is an "R" next to the right names on the ballots.

  • I think the photo comparison is a bit harsh…to Freddy Krueger. I mean he only killed kids who sorta deserved it (thanks to their patriotic vigilante parents, anyway). Whereas I heard Rick allegedly uses the blood of children to replenish his hairless skin and as ritual sacrifices to the Koch bros, which are purely symbolic in gesture.

  • Mahousu

    I'll bet Jill Cicciarelli probably studied anthropology in college, too. Florida doesn't need her kind.

  • The Post will serve it up like so:

    A Florida schoolteacher who calls herself "Jill Cicciarelli" is spending more and more of her taxpayer-funded day showing and telling 17-year-olds – many of them impressionable young boys – about adult suffrage. Her recklessness flies in the face of a new law designed to deter this very sort of impropriety.

    She says she just "cares about her kids," despite leaving a newborn infant to rush back to the cultivation of trusting and malleable teenage boys, and many girls. But some in the community wonder if she has enticed innocent kids into growing up too fast.

    • philpjfry


    • Ya know, you could make Steve Douchy-type MEGAbux if you'd only sell your soul to Rupie and write this crap. You have a real talent for it.

      • Thanks….I guess. But I'm only a whore in the chat room.

        • Limeylizzie

          Yes, but you're my whore in the Resistance.

          • At your service!

          • Limeylizzie

            Oh, I was thinking of you the other day when I saw a preview for the Tuskegee Airmen movie, I was a bit underwhelmed by the looks of it, but maybe it will be good.

        • And a perfect gentleman in the boardroom, eh? (wink, wink, nudge, nudge)

          Watch out for those New Jersey politicians.

  • Scalia lives for moments like this. He's picking out the fishnets he'll wear under his robes at this very moment.

    • GOPCrusher

      * erp *

      • SudsMcKenzie


  • baconzgood

    I still say he looks like some one you'd cast if Ed Harris had a previous commitment.

    • Yes, but *where* would you cast him?

    • chicken_thief

      I'm thinking James Carville if Carville was a bigger prick.

  • Mmmm. Sounds more & more that we should give Tejas back to Mexico & give Florida back to Spain.

    • Rotundo_

      If we did that, would it mean we have to take all the retired folks in Boca and all the other olds back? New York State couldn't handle the influx (or would that be reflux in this case?). Imagine the border of New Jersey teaming with Caddillacs and Buicks with their turn signals eternally signalling a right turn coming home like grunion to the California beaches. Or to be more accurate like alewives to Milwaukee Harbor.

  • V572-⁂½‡‡‡‡‡

    What's all this hating on Florida? It looked pretty cool in the movie "Wild Things," with Neve Campbell and Charlie Sheen's ex-GF. Okay there was murder and deceit and stuff, but there was also an awesome threesome.

    Oh and that third link is only safe for work in very advanced workplaces, such as mine.

  • Beetagger

    Jesus Christ on a stick… maybe it's time we all marched in the streets against these people…. oh, we are?

  • poncho_pilot

    related only in that it involves Florida: this weekend when talking to the wingnut husband of a friend, i told him of the dwarf tossing nonsense in Florida. because this guy is of the louder-equals-more-true school i don't argue with him anymore. i omitted details like the person responsible for the repeal was a Republican. his witty comment? "maybe Obama can take credit for creating jobs."

  • coolhandnuke

    Rick Scott poached from his favorite movie "Porky's III" to come up with this brilliant legislation.

  • Blueb4sunrise

    Went looking for the Fla. Law.

    "A third-party voter registration organization means any person, entity, or organization that solicits or collects any voter registration application " [except family members and State Elections Pipples]

    "Prior to engaging in any voter registration activities, a third-party voter registration organization must ……"

  • Mort_Sinclair

    But if any state's gonna have a governor like this mutant, it should be Florida. I mean, c'mon. Talk about getting the government ya deserve. That said, Florida should be amputated as if it were this country's vestigial tail.

  • owhatever

    It is very simple. White male landowners can vote. Got it now?

    • chicken_thief

      Blacks still count as "property", right?

  • If you don''t have a Wealth Management Account at Merrill Lynch why would you think you're entitled to voting???

  • SudsMcKenzie

    So, Marco Rubio's parents turned their Buick into a floating car, and floated their car to FL, then turned around and went back to Cuba, only to turn their car around and head back to FL for this?

    • Sounds like B-52s lyrics. I can hear crazy Fred now. "I've got me a Buick, it's a floating car, and we're sailing off to FLAaaaa!!"

  • HistoriCat

    Your move Arizona.

    • Jukesgrrl

      Just don't suggest that any of these morans move TO Arizona.

      • HistoriCat

        No – they would probably stop halfway there … and Texas has enough problems as it is.

  • poorgradstudent

    So this is what they really mean by "small government"? I guess if you define "government" as the "people" it makes more sense…

  • DashboardBuddha

    George Wallace is right now taking a break from running his wheelchair wash franchise in hell to say, "Fuck! Why didn't I think of that?"

  • mavenmaven

    Here is how Rick Scott's civics classes are to be structured from now on:

    • emmelemm

      OK, seriously: Never, EVER, under any circumstances, allow your eyes to pass over YouTube comments. Holocaust deniers ahoy!

      • mavenmaven

        Rightists are attracted to this kind of thing like zombies to living flesh, which is more than a metaphor.

      • Oy! The hate is strong in them!

    • Should be required viewing for the idiots that compare Obama to Hitler.
      I hate how all the facile comparisons have watered down how terrifying Hitler really was.
      (Sorry for lack of snark.)

  • Antispandex

    Thank goodness she didn't tell them that their vote doesn't count anyway ( in Florida at least), because I am pretty sure the wingers have outlawed telling the truth since way back during that whole 2000 election thingy.

  • mrbubb

    I would happily pay an alligator to (slowly) devour this dickhead.

    • I will add my small pile of coins to yours to pay for this entertainment.

    • chicken_thief

      mrbubb – private sector jerb creator!!!

  • Schmegeg

    Let's give VoldeRick a one way ticket to Tripoli, there is an opening there.

  • Callyson

    Dear Future (eventually) Florida Voters:
    Please notice who turned your teacher into a criminal, and why he did so. Then vote. Don't leave any hanging chads.
    Thank You,
    The American People

  • crybabyboehner

    Brought to you by the people who invented Dwarf Tossing.

  • x111e7thst

    Are these students male landowners of the white anglo-saxon protestant persuasion? (Jill Cicciarelli? Need I say more?). Obviously neither our founding fathers nor supply side jeebus want that sort of riff-raff voting.

  • ttommyunger

    I keep checking out the photos… Strangely, I would rather have a beer with Freddy than Rick. This comment is 100% snark-free.

    • Um … how about not having a beer with EITHER of them, dood?

      • ttommyunger

        Good idea!

  • Jukesgrrl

    In think I hear someone calling for Jill Cicciarelli's long-form birf certificutz.

  • lulzmonger

    Voter-registration drives are the Panzers of Liberal Fascism!

  • comrad_darkness

    >Among other things, the new rules require that third parties who sign up new voters register with the state and that they submit applications within 48 hours.

    Oh, those republicans and their smaller government . . .

  • *Legions*? I understand the sonofabitch ain't real popular in FL right now. I could be wrong, but it don't look that way.

  • anteater

    You had me at 'grim hairless weasel'.
    Was Madonna a Cicciarelli? or was that the porn star?
    Next round's on me !!

  • Negropolis

    Florida is covered under the Voting Rights Act, right? A good lawsuit should take care of this "law" real quick-like, and god knows there are some good (and lots of) lawyers in Florida.

    • Limeylizzie

      I hope you are correct, because I am completely gobsmacked by all of this voter suppression.

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