These kids and their photoshopz!Ah, the old “probably it was some guy who broke into my hotel room and took pictures of me sleeping in my underwear” excuse. Medford, New Jersey mayor Chris Myers is here to fill the weekly news slot reserved for the outing of one or another garden variety self-loathing, escort-loving closeted Republican politician with a weak claim that he is totally clueless as to how a California rentboy got all those photos of Myers and his magical Superman-sized briefs asleep in a hotel bed (along with pictures of his IDs and his cell phone number). Or, uh, Photoshop maybe? Probably it was the terrorists with their Photoshop.

The photos appeared on a website started by the anonymous angry California rentboy, who claims the straight-married father of two inexplicably offered to buy him a car and then didn’t follow through on the promise. (Note to rentboy: “politician” is the top thesaurus-listed antonym for “promise keeper,” what were you expecting?)

Here is the weird denial Myers gave to

Myers also said he has been to California and many other places around the world on business, but he couldn’t say whether he was there in October 2010 when the alleged incident occurred.

Myers said he wasn’t even sure the photos were of him and wondered if they had been altered.

“I’ve been down that road before, where a photo has been photoshopped to look like something it wasn’t,” he said, declining to provide specifics.

He said the bag with his identification in it was easily accessible and that someone could have sneaked into his hotel room to capture him sleeping and take photos of his personal ID cards and badge.

“I just don’t know. There are crazy people and I’m not going to justify craziness,” he said.

Myers is also declining to have the matter investigated, to save the anonymous rentboy the embarrassment, probably. []

Donate with CCDonate with CC
  • nounverb911

    It could worse, the pictures could be of Chris Christie.

    • Seen one Hutt naked (Jabba), seen'em all.

    • An_Outhouse

      They would need a panoramic camera or a fish eye lens or something.

    • hagajim


      • Blueb4sunrise

        That was EXACTLY my reaction.

    • Triple wide lens, please.

      • tessiee

        Preferably shatterproof.

    • DashboardBuddha

      aaaand there goes my lunch.

    • chicken_thief

      Rumors abound that there was an attempted blackmail attempt on Christie with photos of him eating tofu.

      • With both hands out of a giant bucket.

        • tessiee

          Followed by a whaffer-thin mint.


    • Eye bleach! Eye bleach!

    • chascates

      with Rush Limbaugh.

    • It would take the rent boy 90 minutes to find his sad little prawn, and an auto jack to prop Christie up for service. A gas mask would also be recommended. I'd advise demanding time-and-a-half, plus workman's comp protection.

      • FrenchTwist40

        "Sad Little Prawn" is a phrase I am adopting and will overuse for the forseeable future.

      • "Sad little prawn" FTW!

    • Walkinwiddaking

      Hey, hey. Let's not get ugly here.

    • tessiee

      "It could worse, the pictures could be of Chris Christie."

      Having sex with Rush Limbaugh on a bed with red satin sheets.

      • AAAARRRGH!! NO! My eyes, my eyes!

        • tessiee

          The goggles do nothing!

  • Barb

    "and wondered if they had been altered…."
    Trust me, these pictures could use a good altering. Gentlemen, set your airbrushes to STUN!

    • bureaucrap

      Actually, Photoshop stops working if the image it is working on becomes too horrific. Proving absolutely that this image was NOT photoshopped.

  • Generation[redacted]

    Please don't make me look at that picture. Can't you replace it with a funny 1980s comedy skit, like you did with Gaddafi?

    • Fare la Volpe

      Okay, but I highly doubt you'll enjoy that episode of Growing Pains…

  • boobookitteh

    I also frequently sleep in my glasses with my legs open. Very comfy.

    • SorosBot

      And also without covers and with my hands folded behind my head, yep that guy certainly looks asleep to me.

      • Generation[redacted]

        Obviously the glasses were photoshopped in and the blankets were removed with the erase tool. Look closely at the shadows on his crotch and you can tell. Ha! Made you look!

      • Barb

        He's channeling David Hasselhoff from Baywatch and sucking in his gut too.
        Wonder what kind of car he promised to buy rent boy? I'm thinking a Probe.

        • OneDollarJuana

          Is he channeling David Hasselhoff by sucking in booze-juice, too?

          • SorosBot

            That can be his excuse! "I fell asleep with my glasses on and no covers because I was wasted and passed out, that's also why I didn't notice the guy sneaking into my hotel room to take pictures of me!"

        • tessiee

          "He's channeling David Hasselhoff from Baywatch and sucking in his gut too."

          Not doing a very good job of it.

    • SarahsBush

      I actually do this. It should be noted that I am also a heavy drinker. I will likely be doing this again in 5-10 minutes.

  • An_Outhouse

    I've been many places for "business" too, now that I know that is what they're calling it these days.

  • nounverb911

    GOP'er gets elected, GOP'er gets into scandal. Never a miscommunication. You cannot explain that.

    • RedneckMuslin

      Rentboy goes in, Rentboy goes out. I can't explain it. But it feels soooo good.

      • emmelemm


      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Close the comment list. We're done here.

      • Negropolis


  • jaytingle

    And may I be the first to say, "Yum."

    • hagajim

      Yum yum, bum cum!

      • snackypants

        Yum yum bum cum…santorum!

        • Chichikovovich

          on the floorum?

          • Fare la Volpe

            That's poor decorum.

    • GunToting[Redacted]

      And, very likely, the last.

    • ibwilliamsi

      And you're also the last to say, "Yum".

  • fartknocker

    That's just fucking gross. Speedos and Mr. Scientist glasses? Really Wonkette, is this what your going to make us look at everytime we need our weekend Wonkette fix?

    Kourtney wouldn't do him and neither would her veggies.

    • I suspect the feeling (Mr Speedo Science's feelings on Kourtney) is mutual.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        How he feels about her zucchini is another matter.

    • Rotundo_

      Yeah, he looks a bit like a cleaned up version of the "Goofy Area 51 scientist" from Independence Day played so well by Brent Spiner. Almost as visually appealing too. (Eww).

  • FNMA

    Jesus Christ, some of us are trying to eat lunch here!

  • memzilla

    The white foreground of the picture, the sheets, indicates the picture was taken with a flash. No, a flash attachment wouldn't disturb my sleep either, any more than flashbulbs disturbed King Kong.

    • franco_pinyon

      Hahaha… good point!

  • hagajim

    "Medford, New Jersey mayor Chris Myers is here to fill the weekly news ass slot." – Fixed.

  • SorosBot

    Happy Cocktober, everyone!

    • snackypants

      Finally a Cocktober surprise!

      • V572-⁂½‡‡‡‡‡

        State-legislative Cocktober just isn't as satisfying as Congressional Cocktober, though. Needs a higher-level legislative body, if you know what I mean.

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          Someone needs a higher-level body, that's for sure.

      • I can't wait for Blowvember. What comes after, again?

        • tessiee


          • Tessiee, you SLUT! OMG.

            I *meant* what month!

          • tessiee

            Oh! What *month*!
            That would be Dickcember.

          • Dare I request the full calendar?

            I dare, I dare!

    • Fare la Volpe

      It's a Cocktober Miracle!

    • Schmannnity

      The Boys of Cocktober.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        The Hunt for …. meh. I got nuttin.

        "Legends Are Made in Cocktober" might catch on, memewise.

  • Buzz Feedback

    Those 800 thread count sheets guarantee he's teh ghey.

    • The fact that you could tell the thread count from that distance is kinda suspishus, too. Also.

  • chascates

    Oh, eventually he'll find a way to 'justify craziness'.

    • chicken_thief

      Myers' calendar lists "car shopping" for all of this weekend.

  • Eve8Apples

    Thanks Wonkette! You just saved me 10 dollars on lunch and about 700 calories. I'll be in the bathroom douching my eyes with bleach if you need me.

  • Goonemeritus

    As a New Yorker I doff my cap to the Garden State. Well done and thanks again for joining the party.

    • chicken_thief

      Jim McGreevy also gives a big thumbs up.

    • OneDollarJuana

      The "Garden" State is where you get a tossed salad, apparently.

      • MaxNeanderthal

        Just tossed my cookies at that…..

  • justkillmenow

    Myers also said he has been to California and many other places around the world on business, but he couldn’t say whether he was there in October 2010 when the alleged incident occurred.

    He can't look back on his calendar and see if there were meetings scheduled in California? I'm a nobody where I work and yet I can look back several years and tell you if I was in another state. Thankfully, no naked hotel pics, but I'm not a closeted male republican either.

    • Rosie_Scenario

      Credit card charges may help jog his memory. But that would be craziness.

    • finallyhappy

      oh, yeah, I was also a nobody(well, less of one than you) but also had to keep my travel records for years- plus our administrator had to keep copies of everyone's travel- and sometimes our IG office would want to investigate. .

    • tessiee

      "I can look back several years and tell you if I was in another state. Thankfully, no naked hotel pics"

      Aww. Killjoy.

  • baconzgood

    "He said the bag with his identification in it was easily accessible and that someone could have sneaked into his hotel room to capture him sleeping and take photos of his personal ID cards and badge."

    Did you buy that?…OK then how about this excuse…

    • Generation[redacted]

      I believe his bag is easily accessible. To rentboys.

      • AJWjr.

        Bag, sac, same-same…

    • MaxNeanderthal

      On a par with "Honest Doc, I slipped on the floor and there was this baseball bat standing upright alone on that same floor, and that's how it came to be inserted to the full length of my descending colon, etc. etc. "
      You get the picture…….

      • Rotundo_

        Seinfeld already covered that material…

  • powersuit

    Those are some super-special underpants he has on. Bet he bought them just for the occassion.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Wait, is he a Mormon?

      • No, their "special underpants" go all the way up to the neck.

    • I love the shiny waistband. Classy touch.

  • ColonelDoctor

    A car? That must've been SOME evening, Rent Boy.

    • urgje

      The Rent Boy Is Too Damn High!

      • YasserArraFeck

        Squeeze his nuts and he'll go higher

      • FrenchTwist40

        Are you perhaps thinking of Ted Haggard's rent boy?

  • Thank God for the GOP preserving our Cocktober traditions.

    Sorry. Somebody was gonna do it eventually.

    Or even before me. At least I apologized.

  • hagajim

    It's a bird, it's a plane….naw, it's just another closeted gay Republican denying he likes it in the ass.

  • He sort of looks like the X-ray glasses guy gone wild on the down low.

  • SexySmurf

    With a body like that, I'm shocked he has to pay for it.

    • When you're on the down-low, looking for a little discreet bumfuckery, pay is the way to go. Of course, his bf turned out to be not-so-discreet, but he must not have paid enough.

  • jaytingle

    “Promise Keeper” is the second thesaurus-listed antonym for “promise keeper,” referring to the Christian man-guy group.

  • I thought this dude was the mayor of See Cock-ups.

    • prommie

      A for effort, Manchu.

  • x111e7thst

    I was hiking the Appalachian Trail and I hired him to carry my luggage.

  • kissawookiee

    Wow. Milhouse's dad sure has hit the skids.

    • poncho_pilot

      "take my hand with your glove of love."

    • HedonismBot

      Can he borrow a feeling? Hurtin' hearts need some healin..

    • Generation[redacted]

      I sleep in a race car! Do you?

      • LetUsBray

        No, I sleep in a big bed, with my rent boy.

  • chascates

    Obama now live announcing troop wilthdrawals from Iraq by the end of the year.
    "After nearly 9 years…"

    Afghanistan, not so much.

    • An_Outhouse

      Considering that the Iraquis are basically kicking us out – yeah Hopey! Its about time.

      • chascates

        And Bush is still unhappy the Iraqis haven't thanked him for liberating them.

        • Chichikovovich

          They *tried* to give him a thank you present of a lovely pair of shoes.

  • baconzgood


    (What kinda 40+ year old guy wears turquoise banana hammocks?)

    • MissTaken

      You'd be amazed. I dated a guy earlier this year (46 yo) who had not only turquoise but also purple banana hammocks. He said he wore them on "special" occasions. By special he meant those few random times he would have sex with a woman.

      • And you let this amazing specimen of manhood get away??!!!

        • MissTaken

          Sadly I'm missing some bits that he actually likes to have sexy-time with, specifically a penis and testicles.

          • An occupational hazard when single in San Francisco.

    • MaxNeanderthal

      My green lycra budgie-smugglers will never feel (ooo!) the same again…

    • "banana hammocks"? I might just be in love, baconz.

  • not that Dewey

    California is so starved for hot celebrity action that any time the mayor of Palookaville shows up, TMZ is all over it like gravy on waffles.

    • poncho_pilot

      which is coincidentally, an apt description of events that occurred on the night this photo was taken.

  • Neoyorquino

    Myers said he wasn’t even sure the photos were of him and wondered if they had been altered.

    “Those are definitely not my Underoos™. Mine have Spider-Man on them,” he said, declining to provide specifics.

    • chicken_thief

      Santorum is "Spider Man"?! Christ on an ox cart, I can't keep up with these euphemisms…

  • Crank_Tango

    Talk about documentation! And something tells me, that outie bellybutton is gonna out him in the end…

    • Geminisunmars

      I think I need to re-take anatomy. I is confuzed.

    • Fare la Volpe

      That ain't no belly button…

  • Poindexter718

    Cocktober arrived after all!!11!!

  • Ducksworthy

    Could have been worse (e.g. Santorum stains)

    • Extemporanus

      Look closer, on the other side of the bed up near the pillow…

  • CapnFatback

    David Cross is a Republican mayor in New Jersey? That's perfectly understandishable.

    • He wasn't going to blue himself again.

    • GunToting[Redacted]

      "I blue myself!"

    • BerkeleyBear

      Well, he is going for the nevernude look (thank god).

  • Oh God, could at least warn of us the picture in advance!?

  • the top thesaurus-listed antonym for “promise keeper,”

    You know what else is found next to 'Promise Keepers™' in the Dicktionary of Cult Literacy?

    • chascates

      Tryst Keepers?

    • BerkeleyBear


    • Secret Creepers?

  • prommie

    I never liked those Austin Powers movies anyway, and what he did to The Grinch was criminal.

  • baconzgood

    I find this VERY VERY difficult to masterbate too.

    • jus_wonderin

      Turn the picture upside down, bacon.

    • emmelemm

      That made me laugh out loud. At work.

      • baconzgood

        Glad to be of service.

    • YouBetcha

      GOP foibles never make for good wank material.

  • SayItWithWookies

    So he's saying that someone just tried to randomly blackmail him? Oh, of course — because if I was going to extort money from someone, I'd go straight to the mayor of some town in New Jersey I'd never heard of — everyone knows those local public servants are the ones making the real killing in this economy.

    • zappadoo76

      It was blackmail. Not "random." Not chosen in advance either. The rentboy decided to blackmail the mayor the moment he found out who he was. The mayor wouldn't give him what he asked for (BMW, recording equipment), so now the rentboy is outing him. That is as obvious to me as the nose on my face, which I can actually see if I look into the corner of my eye.

      • SayItWithWookies

        Come on, who are you going to believe — the honest, hardworking family-values Republican politician, or some sleazy Californian who just happens to have tons of naked pictures of him?

  • snackypants

    Pictures like these make me happy that Mr. Snackypants is a boxer shorts man.

    • fuflans

      and me that mr fuflans is likewise minded.

    • Geminisunmars

      Pix or GTFO

  • OneYieldRegular

    Justifying Craziness Option #47: Maybe he was just re-enacting that Seinfeld episode where George gets some boudoir photos taken?

  • x111e7thst

    OT I am pleased to see that now that all the teabaggers have gone galt and stopped hiring the unemployment rates have begun to inch (slowly, painfully) downward.

    • Chichikovovich

      That means the non-moronic business owners see an opening and they're making their move. Darwin+Capitalism WIN!

    • We should prod them into renewing that statement periodically, so the unemployment rates keep going down, heh heh.

  • thefrontpage

    Recent ad in The Village Voice Personals:

    Medford, N.J. Hot mid-aged politico playah type lookin' fer good times with crazy rentboy types. Middle-aged, paunchy, very white, glasses, chubby, pale, balding, overweight, not exactly GQ model Adonis Hercules type!! Looking to meet and discuss politics, hotel rooms, underwear, flash photography, ethics, the art of denial, delusions, severe delusions, slight craziness, possible conflicting homosexual tendencies, desires and urges, homosexuality and the Republican politician, homosexuality and hypocrisy, prostitution, photoshopping, computers, online ads and the socio-political ramifications of stated conservative Republican politicians railing against homosexuality while actually engaging in homosexual behavior at the same time. Should be fun! Contact Chris Myers, Medford.

    • baconzgood

      Well played. (Baconz tips his cap)

    • You forgot terrorism, and the best way to buy a car.

    • That's not a "date", that's the Republican Convention!

  • bureaucrap

    "Probably it was the terrorists with their Photoshop."

    Yes, because the Mayor of Medford Twp, NJ (pop. 22, 253) has always been perceived by the Taliban as a threat to Afgani tribal sovereignty.

  • edgydrifter

    Being a Republican means never having to justify craziness.

    • Geminisunmars

      Why isn't he in the debates??

  • MissTaken

    Myers is just demonstrating how right Mitsch was when saying that ladies need to be whore in the bedroom – complete with tight panties and high thread count sheets.

    • Rotundo_

      For the win! Best Jersey tie-in and comment!

  • Antispandex

    When Anthony Weiner tried this excuse, the media went crazy. But, then again he was a Democrat cruising for some strange and not a Family Values Party guy. Besides, the approved Fox News version of escaping this type of charge is, 1.) He was set up. 2.) I won't dignify that with a response / we've talked this to death and I have nothing more to add, or 3.) Everyone does it, what's the big deal? All may need to be used here…before he resigns.

    • BerkeleyBear

      Weiner, though, didn't even get any. I'm guessing rentboy put out.

      • jus_wonderin

        That's why Mr. Mayor is sleeping. Ten minutes of Rentboy and then a nap.

        • UW8316154

          Only ten minutes seems like a waste of a perfectly good rentboy!

          • FrenchTwist40

            Depends on his rate, I suppose. I can't imagine that the Mayor of Medford, NJ gets paid enough to order rentboys by the week and get the bulk discount.

    • zappadoo76

      Ant'ny was on the teevee a lot, too. Getting interviewed in front of faux Greek pillars and stuff in the Capitol. The mayor is just some guy.

      • JumpySnark

        Or is he just some gay?

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Don't forget 4.) "My Democrat opponents are just trying to distract the public from the real issues."

  • Buckminster

    Eeeeeew! Where's the Johnson & Johnson Eyeball bleach?

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Out of stock. You can use J&J Children's Eyeball Bleach, if you double the dose.

    • tessiee

      Bleach ain't gonna do it, you guys.
      *passes sporks to Buckminster and Biel*

  • meatlofer

    Or worse than Chris Christie….Snookie.

  • THIS LOOKS SHOPPED. I can tell from some of the pixels and from seeing quite a few shops in my time.

  • GregComlish

    Move over Scott Brown!

  • Indiepalin

    Headline of the day (Foxnews):

    "Michele Bachmann's Entire Paid Staff in New Hampshire Reportedly Has Quit "

    "If we go much longer without seeing her, she's going to turn up on milk cartons"

    Batshit Begins

  • bureaucrap

    "The [rentboy] said Myers identified himself as a mayor from New Jersey and offered his township identification card and gold ID shield as proof during the early-morning meeting "

    What I really love about these GOP closet cases is that they seem to be compelled to identify themselves as "VIPs" even in situations where common sense would counsel a modicum of discretion. Perhaps they think they will get free/discounted services from rentboys just by flashing their business card. Which makes me think that a rentboy who advertises "Free BJs for All GOP elected officials" could make A LOT of money.

    • Generation[redacted]

      Obviously he got Larry Flynt's groupon special.

    • tessiee

      The rentboys could actually *give* free BJs and *still* make a lot of money, by blackmailing the dumb bastards.

  • fuflans

    today we are all california rent boys denied an automobile.

    • That'll teach Mr. Mayor from making promises he doesn't intend to keep. But someone should tell RentBoy that's total SOP for bad boyfriends.

      • UW8316154

        Don't I know it, boy…don't I know.

    • Truly, that is how the 1% views the 99.

  • El Pinche

    Ladies and gentlemen, COCKTOBER has arrived.

  • Mahousu

    “I’ve been down that road before, where a photo has been photoshopped to look like something it wasn’t,” he said
    … referring to the pictures of his penis he had posted on Craigslist.

  • littlebigdaddy

    “I’ve been down that road before, where a photo has been photoshopped to look like something it wasn’t,” he said, declining to provide specifics."

    Yeah, haven't we all?

    • fuflans

      actually no, no i haven't.

    • I'm kind of glad he didn't provide specifics.

  • BornInATrailer

    Is that the bald, gay friend of Carrie's from Sex and the City? And why does that question pop into my brain? Damn that wife of mine.

  • fuflans

    We're a happy family
    We're a happy family
    We're a happy family
    Me mom and daddy

    Siting here in Queens
    Eating refried beans
    We're in all the magazines
    Gulpin' down thorazines

    We ain't got no friends
    Our troubles never end
    No Christmas cards to send
    Daddy likes men.

    today, in punk lyrics.

    • poncho_pilot

      thanks. now i wanna sniff some glue.

  • “I’ve been down that road before, where a photo has been photoshopped to look like something it wasn’t,” he said.

    Republicans may not create any jobs, but they make a fuckton of comedy.

  • user-of-owls

    Wow, I never would have guessed that Sgt. Bilko was a secret fairy boy.

  • proudgrampa

    Jesus. Dat UGLY.

  • Guppy06

    But was he a gentleman in the living room?

  • Beowoof

    From reading the article I would say the mayor is taking a wide stance to avoid stepping in his own bullshit. "It's not working mayor you can't get your legs that far apart.

    • MissTaken

      I don't know, he's got them spread pretty wide in that pic

  • MissTaken

    See closeted GOP politicians, this is why you have to pay, play, and get the f out the way

  • Terry

    "“I’ve been down that road before, where a photo has been photoshopped to look like something it wasn’t,” he said, declining to provide specifics."

    Yes, there is a seeeekrit plot against the mayor of Medford, NJ. Daniel Craig will play Myers in the movie version.

    • tessiee

      Daniel Craig??? In his DREAMS!! Myers would be doing good to get Paul Giacometti [sp?].

  • chicken_thief

    Marcus' prayers have been answered – a new client!!!

  • Fare la Volpe

    My tummy feels urpy now.

    Thanks, Wonkette.

  • user-of-owls

    [In a Public Relations class on 'Damage Control' ten years from now]

    "And so we see that in retrospect, Chris Myers' decision to release copies of his passport to the press in order to refute claims that he was in California at the time proved to be ill-advised. A skilled PR agent would have alerted Myers that the nearly two dozen stamps indicating trips to Thailand might prove detrimental to the mayor's public image."

  • Crank_Tango

    also, who the fuck has 23 grand in a savings account?

    • Blueb4sunrise

      What's a savings account?

      • Dok-cupy Everything

        What's a "grand"?

    • finallyhappy

      23 grand whats? I don't think of my $5 bills as grand but hey,whatever

    • GregComlish

      Ummm… I do.

      Not really sure where else I should put it. Gold is in a bubble. Asian market is in a bubble. Europe is fucked. Possibly looking at a double dip recession that could hit domestic stocks hard. Never really been a bond man myself. I'd consider real estate, but I'm too worried about job security to settle down.

      Guess I could just buy more energy futures but, I do like to keep some liquidity and not get excessive commodity exposure, which also could fluctuate during a double dip.

      • 102415

        I feel the same. I can't put it under the bed. I have a lot of dividend stocks already. If everything crashes it crashes we will all be fucked. I suppose I should stock up on hobo beans. Wait, maybe I should sell hobo beans. Didn't James Dean do pretty well selling beans in "East of Eden"?

    • tessiee

      I used to, once upon a time when I was still middle class and there still *was* a middle class.

  • “Few things are impossible, but it is very difficult to identify the ultimate source,” [His lawyer] said. “If I could, I would sue him or her, but he or she can hide behind the anonymity of the Internet. I would be suing a ghost.”

    What kind of fool doesn't know that is a complete lie?

    • prommie

      "I'm utterly helpless here."

  • MozakiBlocks

    There is NOTHING sexy about this picture!!!

  • prommie

    He was a "missile expert" in the Navy. Whoo-hoooo! Worked for a missile defense contractor; he must have been the man behind the famous "heat seeking moisture missile."

    • Well, you know Cainhorn Leghorn worked Ballistics for the Navy. Maybe they were able-bodied seamen together.

    • Jukesgrrl

      I used to work for some engineers who (seriously) referred to themselves as "erection specialists."

  • "Hello Mayor, this is Marcus Bachmann. While you are a bit older than my typical client, there is an experimental treatment we can try with a transfusion from a young ex-Gay…"

  • "Why Do All These Art Directors Keep Photoshopping My Cock" is an Onion classic.

  • ibwilliamsi

    Do I see a little Santorum on the sheets there?

  • prommie

    Its obvious now, isn't it, that he has a secret, evil, gay twin? Surely thats the most logical explanation, his secret, evil, gay twin periodically drugs him and then runs rampant in the world, impersonating him, and doing all kinds of homo and gay stuff everywhere, with rentboys and everything, and then the secret evil gay twin disappears, and poor Chris wakes up and has to deal with the aftermath. Secret evil gay twin is probably in cahoots with the rentboy, trying to extort a nice Mazda3 or a low mileage Chrysler Neon out of him. Who among us hasn't been down that road, in truth?

    • tessiee

      I have a secret evil twin who spends all my money and messes up my house, so I can really sympathize.

  • owhatever

    Operation Mayor was a clean success, Chief. We drugged his room-service hamburger, then the whole team made an entry. We copied all of his documents on our XE36-1 secreted decoder rings and arranged him in various positions for incriminating photographs. Then we pulled out. He never knew what happened. We own him now and therefore, we own Medford.

  • DaSandman

    Welcome to Medford!

  • SaintRond

    Thinking about Republican men having gay sex is a threat to my lunch.

    • tessiee

      Thinking about Republican men having sex…
      Thinking about Republican men…
      Thinking about Republicans…

  • Callyson

    Editor’s note: The newspaper has a responsibility and duty to inform you about significant issues involving our public officials. That is why we are publishing this story.
    Oh, come on, PhillyBurbs…at least admit that you found this salacious story too good to pass up…

  • Dok-cupy Everything

    So THAT'S what happened to Dr. Tobias Fünke. I see he's lost the mustache, but he's still a never-nude.

  • You keep saying this word "sexy." I do not think it means what you think it means.

    • Jukesgrrl

      The same people refer to Republican Party rubber chicken banquets as "galas."

      • I don't know where you read about the rubber chicken, but that's not what's served at Republican fuckfests. IIRC, the last teabagger party they threw themselves (back when they still had money) featured steak and lobster, which apparently really pissed off the hoveround-riding rank and file Poorz they somehow suckered into joining their "party."

        Good times, good times!

  • luke_warm

    I find it enjoyable when self-hating hypocrites who've been in favor of a whole anti-gay bigoted agenda get outed, but this guy seems to have positioned himself as a moderate republican who was against don't ask, don't tell, so I'm wondering what the uproar is about here. Is it just that he's gay?

    • Jukesgrrl

      I have no problem with him being gay. I care about his carelessness in embarrassing his wife and kids if they didn't know about his extracurricular activities, especially if they were used as props to advance whatever political career one has being mayor of a New Jersey hamlet. But you have a valid point. Innocent until proven guilty. Maybe the kids knew about Dad romping with rent boys in his Underoos.

  • Callyson

    Oh, and the piece de resistance, from the rentboy's website: Mr Mayor likes red flavored lube (scroll to the bottom of the webpage for that gem)…

    • prommie

      Flavored? For the felching?

      • user-of-owls

        Red-flavored is what the 'marinara' sauce in the school cafeteria was. It was awful, but not nearly as bad as the gray-flavored 'meat.'

        • tessiee

          They have (or used to have) something in the midwest called "red pop" (i.e., soda). You know it's bad when they're not even pretending to have a flavor instead of a color. It's like saying "chocolate colored milkshake".

          • user-of-owls

            aka, 'brown milk.'

            The Peruvians have taken the 'red pop' in a rather unsettling direction with Inca Kola, whose palish yellow hue is reminiscent…oh, just look at it.

          • Negropolis

            Faygo Libel! This Michigander demands a retraction of that statement, post haste.

          • tessiee

            Sorry, my friend, but no retractions are in order. Having lived in Ann Arbor for two years, I'm a former Michigander (or, as I like to call it, Mishugenah) myself, and I can state without fear of contradiction that Faygo absolutely did make something called "Red Pop", and it was on the shelves of every supermarket.

    • proudgrampa

      Whatinhell does "red" taste like???

      Christ, do I even want to know???

  • HolyCow!!

    I couldn't tell you how many times that has happened to me. There are some real perverts out there! And they all have cameras too. Damn bitchez.

  • EatsBabyDingos

    My weiner has shrivelled so far up that it came out my ear inside out. Thanks, Chris.

  • GFPcat

    Looks like someone was taking Phil Mitsch's advice about being the whore in the bedroom.

  • I see he's an innie and not an outie.

    • proudgrampa

      An outie would have really freaked me out!

  • YouBetcha

    I have done some obscene, terryfing things, and no one has ever offered me a car.

    Stupid gay GOP. Aren't there any straight ones? My lame hippie hybrid vehicle is beginning to make funny noises.

  • FlexPerks

    Oh interesting! I just stumbled upon an June 2010 US News and World Report which mentioned Christie and Nikki Haley as possible 2012 preznit candidates. We laugh but watch the heck out for Haley, she's bad news in a teabag and she'll be comin' at ya.

    • Jukesgrrl

      I've been saying she's Vice Presidential gold if Romney is nominated. He will have to get a certified bagger who will appear to diversify the ticket. Surely he's not going for Bachmann or Palin, Rubio says he's out, and America's already seen too much of Piyush Jindal. When they find the body of that guy who says she did him in a car, you'll know it's goin' down.

  • EBGrey

    NJ GOPer, Phil Mitsch, said that a woman should strive to be "a lady in the living room and a whore in the bedroom." The good mayor was merely pointing out that the addage goes both ways…ahem.

    • tessiee

      As does the mayor, apparently.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    "I’m not going to justify craziness,” he said.

    Talk about a RINO!

  • I always miss out on the best threads.

  • Some rehab in 3…2…1…

    • emmelemm

      There's a clinic in Minnesota that would just love to have him!

  • JackObin

    Mmmmmm. Sexy undies and eye glasses. Little Georgie Will must be in his glory, with the World Series and all, I mean.

  • DrunkIrishman

    Is he wearing Wonder Woman's bottoms?!?

    • tessiee

      I think he *is* Wonder Woman's bottom.

  • franco_pinyon

    TOTALLY asleep! Not posing AT ALL. Nope. uh-uh.

  • Jukesgrrl

    Hey, people, he took his socks off. What more do you want?!?

  • I am thinking of quote I saw here once about mini-Hillary Clinton, "What has been seen, can't be unseen." How can I unsee this? Is there a series of keys i can press?

    Why don't you be good, and put a picture of our president in a bathing suit looking cool and cut in Hawaii. You know the one I am talking about. Mommy is going to get a cocktail now.

    • tessiee

      "Why don't you be good, and put a picture of our president in a bathing suit looking cool and cut in Hawaiii"

      *retreats upstairs with Cocktober issue of "Brainy Guys"*

  • GorzoTheMighty

    This and Phil Mitsch in one day?. I can't take anymore (sound of gunshot and something hitting the floor)

  • UW8316154

    I went to investigate the rentboy's evidence, to see for myself, as it were, and am deeply saddened that the website is no longer available. maybe he got that Probe he wanted, after all.

  • Secret evil GAY twin = no goatee.

  • tessiee

    So, apparently this guy's wife isn't a lady in the parlor and a whore in the bedroom?

  • lulzmonger

    *urge to puke rising*
    Mayor Pr0n?

  • tessiee

    Yeah, that'll teach him to leave the craigslist personals the hell alone.

  • ibwilliamsi

    "He's been down this road before"? OMG – you fucking people!

  • ttommyunger

    Thoughtful of him not to get shots of the flip-side. Skidmarks would still show up on that baby blue and you know there are skidmarks on this boy's skivvies.

  • Troglodeity

    Thurston Howell III relaxes after a glorious tryst with the Skipper.

  • voodooeconomics

    The gentleman in the picture has a lower back problem. The positioning of his right leg, just so, indicates that some of the spinal cartilage in the lower back needs adjustments. The blue garment helps with relaxation and the glasses afford a complete situation awareness, if he must be awaken by a sudden poke.

  • a_pink_poodle

    Jee wizz what a shocker. A GOP politician caught getting gay with a male prostitute YAWN

    Do you think there'll ever be a GOP politician caught getting straight with a female prostitute one of these days?

  • tessiee


  • HistoriCat

    That image is very disturbing. I wish you’d have chosen something else. I realize that it’s a shameful part of American history that we should never forget, but it’s too much.

    (Sheesh – two days and no one posted this? Slackers.)

  • Ardiva40

    Yes, God fearing, family values Repubs. Gotta love 'em for setting themselves up.

  • JumpySnark

    Well, those may be "his magical Superman-sized briefs," but it would appear that SOMETHING is not exactly Superman-sized (if you know what I mean, and I think you do)!

  • At first I thought that was George Costanza in a famous scene from Seinfeld. But, no,it's just another anti-gay GOP elected official busted in a rent boy scandal. Anyone keeping a list of all these guys? Must be getting pretty long.

Previous articleJackass Bankers Drop Insane Leaflets On Chicago Protesters
Next articleMichele Bachmann’s New Hampshire Staff All Fleeing Like Hell